Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

With all the planning, gift wrapping, baking, and decorating, this time of year can get crazy, and life seems to just stop until the 25th is well behind us. Today I wanted to talk about the concept of Hygge and how to make Christmas feel a little simpler, a little more manageable, and a little more enjoyable. And put this all against the backdrop of the stress response we can find ourselves in as mothers. Understanding the concept of the Window of Tolerance can give you more awareness over times when you feel little capacity for daily life and seem to run on overwhelm and stress. In this episode I discuss: The three components of Hygge Holiday activities and how to get the family involved Decluttering Christmas Our Window of Tolerance All the fun links you might enjoy All posts and episodes about Simple Christmas Posts and episodes on hygge 30 days of hygge free calendar Enneagram + Motherhood series Enneagram 101 post and episode CBC Gem Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Episode playlist on emotional intelligence for moms An intro to polyvagal theory (window of tolerance) Infographic on the window of tolerance Reactive vs proactive approach to the day Simple Christmas Planner Simple Saturdays email Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:15 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that you can remove all the distractions, all of the clutter, all of the excess, and just show up for the stuff that really matters the most to you the stuff that is really important to you. So as I was preparing for the podcast this week, I was drafting up a podcast on goals and visions and creating a future you love. And then I was like, if I heard this right now in the middle of Christmas, I don't think I would even be listening to it. Because like kind of just stops around Christmas, right? Which I don't mind. I really love the idea of hibernating a little. I think it really honors this season that we're in we when we can step back from that pace of summer and spring and kind of pay attention to what nature is doing and model it a little bit flow with it and let ourselves hibernate a little bit more. So there's my soapbox moment, let's all hibernate a little bit more this winter. Which brings me to the notion of Hygge I'm probably going to use the word 'hoo-ga' nd 'hyg' interchangeably, but it is pronounced hygge. You guys are asking me about it right now you want me to talk about this. So here we go. In December, I often talk about simplifying your Christmas. But all of that content is out there. I am going to link to the simple Christmas series in the show notes, where I talk about simplifying gift giving traditions, giving kids toys without feeling overrun with clutter, how to make your gifts more thoughtful, all those basics, they're covered. So I thought I would just expand into a different direction on things that help you feel like your Christmas is simpler and cozier and maybe more manageable, more enjoyable. So the first thing we'll talk about is hygge, which is a Danish word that doesn't have any direct English translation and it just embodies this atmosphere of simplicity, of being cozy of being with others togetherness and of contentment. I think we've all seen especially on Pinterest, the stock images of a woman she's like draped on her white couch or her white bed. She's got a long white knit sweater on cozy Christmas socks. I don't know, do her legs get cold, I don't know. Mind read. She's holding a mug of tea and there's a fluffy blanket like draped around her. And that's what they tell us who got is we might not think of a mum in her like old decade old house code and slippers, drinking her magnesium water at the end of the nigh...

Everyone has doubts and fears, but sometimes these doubts can manifest into something stronger and more potent, Imposter Syndrome. Today I go through a list of questions to help you inquire about the Imposter Syndrome within you, and how to act on what you find. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Questions on how to inquire into the Imposter Syndrome within. Use these questions for self-inquiry, journalling is a great option. How does imposter syndrome impact me? When I doubt, what changes? How do I act? When I have fear, what changes? How do I act from this place of fear? Where in my life does imposter syndrome show up? How long have I felt imposter syndrome? Is it long-standing? What seems to bring it on? How do I try to manage the part of me that feels imposter syndrome? How do I respond to that part of me? How does the ‘part of me that doubts’ think it is helping me? Protecting me? What does that ‘part of me that doubts’ need to feel safe When confidence is not available to me, what other feelings can help me with the doubt? How does the ‘part of me that is afraid of being found out’ think it is helping me? Who specifically am I afraid of ‘finding me out?’ All the fun links you might enjoy Byron Katie, recommend her books, specifically Loving What Is Episode 162. Think the best of me (Hard and Awesome) Hayley Morris, comedian (one of my fave bits that she does) Episode 76. Why it matters what you think Simple Christmas Planner (find it with the On Purpose Workbooks) Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna here at girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca. So I am a mom of three I live in a small town in Canada, I have three kids, they are 11,10, and eight. And about eight years ago, seven or eight years ago, I was reading a book about decluttering. It's called The Joy of less by Francine J. And it was around Christmas time, and I was reading this book, and it suddenly hit me that I didn't need to keep all of the stuff I had in my house. So I went down to the basement, the basement of shame, there was like a walkway amongst some boxes that I could get from one door to another. And I started decluttering. And I was really hit with this awareness that I had been living my life, very complacently on autopilot. And going through that physical clutter of complacency. It really brought me to a place where I didn't want that in my life. I didn't want that in all areas of my life, I could just see suddenly, all of the ways I had been complacent in my life, living on autopilot. And that really prompted me to say, No, I'm going to put myself in the driver's seat, I'm going to take some action, I'm going to be intentional. And that was really what founded simple on purpose. It started with simplifying and it moved into living intentionally living on purpose. So around here, we keep this conversation going. Of course, I've gone through life coach training, I've gone through counselor training. And so I am bringing in all of these different aspects of the approaches that I've taken the conversations I've had over the years with women, with moms with clients. And I want to just this be a place where you can stop for a minute. And really start to think about ways you can simplify your home, your heart, your life in ways that you want to start showing up on purpose, living with more purpose, with more peace with more presence and more passion. I really believe we can all have a little bit more passion and enjoy our lives a little bit more. That's a whole other episode though. Let's talk about today's episode. So in the summer, I asked for episode topic requests, and I'm still working through those.

As much as we might want it to exist, there just isn’t a magical list or routine we can implement to make it an easy transition to have a second or third kid. And once they are here, it can quickly become overwhelming and seem impossible. Today I share some tips and advice to help make parenting more than one kid a little easier In this episode I discuss: Prepping your first-born for a new introduction in the family Some of my own tips and ideas, as a mother of three Managing sibling dynamics and conflict Lessons from the Playroom: Sibling Rivalry My commentary on some crowd-sourced advice All the fun links you might enjoy Emotional Intelligence (and improving relationships with your kids through emotion coaching) What moms of toddlers need to hear How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers Real-life advice on having two kids under two years old (blog post) Planning the day (reactive vs proactive) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood When motherhood can change you but you can’t change motherhood Settling in motherhood Is a third baby harder than the second? Enneagram + Motherhood Series 11 things that make my mom life simpler More posts on motherhood Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome to another episode of The Simple on Purpose podcast. 0:18 If you are following me on Instagram, you know that this past week I went away for a work retreat. Do you remember back in the day, if you've been around for a while I used to go on work retreats quite often, I used to also go on work retreats with a community that I had started with one of my besties called a little late. And we used to do them with a great group of women, we'd rent an Airbnb, we'd get food brought in. And we would just all hunker down and do work and kind of brainstorm together. Some of my favorite memories are those work retreats. And then in this, since then I've gone on my own, I've gone with a bestie. And I haven't done it for a few years. So I thought, I have this big deadline coming up to move my email service. So I'm just going to send myself away for a couple of nights, you might have read about it in the sublime purpose, or the simple Saturday's email. 1:04 So I went away to work on my email, my email service, and then sent out that week's simple Saturday's and the email was broken, the email program is not working. So I'm still working with tech support to get that back up and running. And either way, I spent a lot of my time prepping for this, you know, this email to be moved over. 1:26 So whew, all right, the work retreat was still a really valuable experience. Because I could just be selfish with my time, which I think it's a bad thing. I think we need to do that sometimes, if I'm working from home, which I always do, and the kids come home from school, and even though I say I'm gonna keep working till like maybe four or five, they're coming in, they're asking questions, I can hear everybody out there in the hall, talking about things and I'm like, oh, I should go like, tell them this or tell them that. And it's just it doesn't work, right. And then I don't feel like I can ever come back into work once I've gone out and you know, been with the fam. But when I'm alone in this hotel room, and I go from my computer, to the bathtub, back to my computer, again, to a snack platter of cheese and crackers, back to my computer. It's just a time where I don't have to be accountable to anyone but me. And I can just be all in on whatever I need to get done. So it was a really like, I didn't just hang out and watch Netflix the whole time. I was getting my work done. And then watching some Netflix for fun. I'm all caught up on love is blind if anyone wants to tal...

Whether your vision is to be the hangout spot on the block, or a place your kids still come to visit after moving out, small changes can be made to create a cozy, comfortable, and welcoming home for the quickly growing and ever-changing family. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. In this episode I discuss: Having a vision for the kind of home you want to have Creating a peaceful house is not just simplifying and decluttering Ep 69. Will a Simpler Home Bring Me Peace? Creating spaces in your home to foster certain activities and atmospheres for your family and friends What makes kids think that a house is a good place to hang out at Getting your kids to still hang out with you as they grow up and creating spaces that foster that connection Hygge and how to add this to your home Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life 30 ways to hygge when it is cold outside Hygge vs minimalism All the fun links you might enjoy The Simple Christmas Planner Simple pleasures: Puzzles (side-by-side activities) Mom on Purpose Be the mom you are: how this one list can empower you to be the mom you are Ep 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are Setting your Values and Vision The Life on Purpose Workbook The Live your Vision worksheets The Live your Values worksheets The Perfect Moments Project Emotional Intelligence, for Moms (the podcast playlist) Ep 162. Hard and Awesome FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about all the ways all the ideas, all the mindsets and approaches that you can take to simplify your life, your home and your heart, kind of the inner experience as well, and show up for your life on purpose. So I am Shawna, if you are new here, and I am a mom of three kids, my kids are 11,10 and eight. And over the years, you guys have termed me to be your nerdy girlfriend. That's a nickname given to me in the simple Saturdays, email. So I proudly wear that name as a badge of honor. I am your nerdy girlfriend, your counselor and your life coach. And hey, I'm in small town, Canada. So here we are preparing for the winter, as fall is going to be wrapping up soon. And winter, hey, I did some Christmas shopping on my lunch break today, ordered some things and I want to make sure they get here in time. So I'm gonna put that out there. It's kind of like those reminders, go pull me out of the freezer for dinner, go order some things that you need for Christmas. And if you want to really get intentional about your Christmas this year, I have something called the simple and Christmas planner. I'll link that in the show notes if you're interested in that. So today I'm going to be sharing another question that was sent in through the simple Saturday's email. Let me toggle over to the right window to read it to you. All right, I would love to hear another episode on making small changes in our home to make it more of a haven for the quickly growing and ever changing kids, and how to keep it a safe and cozy place that they want to be in. Oh, I just love that idea. All right. So before I get into this, sometimes I get a stuckness with getting the podcast recorded. And I know there's a lot of different factors that go into that. But sometimes that stuckness is about me, really second guessing what I'm sharing. So something that just helps me to say upfront is all of this is just my, my opinion. These are my ideas. I don't believe that motherhood is prescriptive that life, how it should look for you should look the copy of someone else. Like I believe that you need to tap into your own values, your own strengths, your own passions, your own quirks, and live into motherhood from that place be a mum on purpose.

Planning the day can be an overwhelming chore that you are constantly behind in. Sticking to that plan can be frustrating and seem impossible. I want to share a few ways that I keep myself on track and having a proactive day, rather than a reactive day. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. In this episode I discuss: The crafty form of planning, bullet journaling How to get started bullet journalling The three planners that I found worked the best Moleskin Weekly Planner Passion Planner Ban.Do Planner The crown jewel of planning apps, Google Calendar, and how I use it to plan effectively How to organize and use your To-Do list to check things off How I prioritize my To-Do list, shiting from a should-do to a could-do mindset Planning a proactive day rather than having a reactive day, especially with chores Cognitive distortions and how to get out of that All-or-nothing thinking Meal prepping All the fun links you might enjoy How to get started bullet journalling Planning the day for moms The freedom you can gain from planning your day Procrastination tips for moms Does your to-do list overwhelm you? Do you trust yourself to show up for you? How to move from ambivalent to ambitious Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hello friends welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. My name is Shawna, you guys know me as your nerdy girlfriend and life coach and counselor. And if you are new here, if you found the podcast over the summer, welcome, I'm so glad you are here. At simple on purpose, we talk about ways to simplify, simplify your home, your heart, your life, and do things on purpose, do life on purpose, turn off the autopilot, turn off the default mode, that we're just living in life reactively to life and letting things happen, like letting life happen at us and moving into an intentional space, being really proactive with who we are, how we want to show up our lives and what we want to get out of our life. So that's the premise of what we talk about here. I'm really glad you're here. I let you know earlier that I had taken the summer off, I was finishing up my schooling to become a registered professional counselor. And now I'm on the other side of that I've gone through certification, I am working on my supervision hours with my supervisor. And I just really had no idea what I would come back to in terms of what simple on purpose was going to look like. I think I still don't know, people are asking me am I going to open up and like on purpose Academy again, am I going to keep the podcast going like all these plans, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. But I am really enjoying the connection that I have with you guys over podcast, I love getting messages from you on Instagram over email letting me know that it's something that's part of your life part of your day. And it's something that's helping you, which is really my whole goal, right. And my whole goal is to empower moms to empower women to empower you guys to live simple on purpose. So I don't know what the future holds. I'm really open to it to where my life will take me and where these career plans take me. But let's keep digging into the podcast, I asked for suggestions on podcast topics I've asked in the simple on purpose, email, what you guys would like to hear about. And so today I'm going to talk about one of those suggested topics. And by the way, if you guys are not on the simple Saturdays email, that's an email that comes out twice a month. So it's not overwhelming. And I try to make that a place that's just fun and connected. And I share pictures, I share pictures of what I'm decluttering I share links to things I'm loving,

Answering decluttering, simplifying and momlife questions that were sent in through the Simple on Purpose community group. Covering topics including organization, procrastination, decluttering kids' clothes, showing up well for momlife. Make sure to check out the show notes for more related links on these questions Questions that were sent in: I'm reworking a room in our house soon to be an office/media room and trying to figure out a system for office supplies, books, devices, charging cables etc. It wants to turn into a catch-all space... If you have any thoughts on that? Thanks! What Pinterest Doesn’t Tell You About Home Organization 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) 157. How I tackled decluttering my office and kids craft drawers + how I handle the resistance to decluttering The old basement home office Adding a desk to my (upstairs) home office Tips for vehicle/trunk organization Considering a bin/bag system Simplifying kid's shoes A question to start with to know what next steps you need Seasonal declutter: Keeping track of what is in storage Do you have any on simplifying kids' clothes? (big, wearing, grew out of) Decluttering with Kids Guide I’m moving in the next few months and have been working on all the decluttering and packing etc. I have 2 kids under 5. What I notice is that I have a hard time getting started on the jobs involved until the last minute when there is a big push and looming deadline. I’d love to work on a more peaceful and gradual approach to get it all done How I found myself procrastinating this morning Questions to ask yourself when doing self-inquiry into your own procrastination 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 135. Procrastination tips for moms 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) More on mom life - especially toddler mom life, being purposeful and present, enjoying it. The frustration of attaining freedom and independence, for parents and toddlers Good enough mother (parent) If I could go back and talk to myself about 7 years ago when I had two toddlers and a baby: Happiness is still available to me Allowing every day to be hard and awesome 87. Why it is hard to be a present parent, and what to do about it 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Summer wrap-up! Thank you for all the reviews and messages and emails you have sent, I am here for the COMMUNITY! Please do keep in touch! Expect an Instagram hiatus this summer, but please do make sure to USE the Facebook group - and declutter it if you aren't going to use it. Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get the bi-weekly newsletter to keep getting Simple on Purpose inspiration through the summer. Save your favourite Simple on Purpose podcast playlist on Spotify to listen to this summer FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Yes, I'm taking a summer break kind of at least a break from the podcast, which I'm sad about, I really enjoy the podcast. It's a place for me to just bring up what are the what other topics are on my brain are being discussed.

How do we teach our kids contentment? I want to unpack this question from all angles. From why it is hard for us as parents, how we teach them reactively vs on purpose, where the emotion of contentment comes from, the purpose of discontentment and growing our tolerance of discontentment. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Topics covered in this episode: The difference between being happy vs being content Happiness as a parenting goal can be very defeating and maybe even counterproductive Should happy kids be our parenting goal Recognizing that we live in a culture that is obsessed with happiness The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris 66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife Teaching our kids contentment, how we do it reactively and without intention Pretending you're happy Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Guilt and deprivation The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Consider how we learn contentment in our own lives How to really start showing up for your life How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Hard and awesome (from Think The Best of Me) 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet) How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Comparing where your kids are to where other kids are. The pitfalls of using what you see, socially, to determine where you and your kids *should be* Understanding your own motivation on why you want your kids to be content How we measure success as parents The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) God’s Grace Through Difficult Parenting 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood What is hard about seeing your kids feel discontent 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) The CBT framework: our emotions come from our thinking 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) I Think, I Am! By Louise Hay Big Life Podcast (growth mindset for kids) Making Change: Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? (growth mindset for adults) Our natural discontentment Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it) The purpose of the emotion 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions 123. Myths about emotion coaching our kids [LIVE] Seeing the good, intentionally Contentment and knowing our values Happiness that is marketed to us, versus what we crave for contentment Addressing how our kids use comparison and how we can teach them about comparison in the context of contentment Teaching our kids to look internally rather than externally Showing, rather than telling, our kids about the different life experiences in the world The role we have as parents to model contentment and honour the times our kids feel discontent Room to make mistakes while we learn Stop by the Facebook group to share your thoughts and ideas or tag or message me on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose podcast. So today I am doing one of the last posts until I wrap up the podcast for the summer. I'm going to spend my summer just balancing the two jobs that I have on the go. Finishing up school,

Being a mom on purpose means stepping into your strengths as well as stepping into your struggles. This means letting go of perfectionism and the chase to be the ideal mom and have the ideal kids. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. This episode covers: What is conscious parenting Parenting on auto-pilot, why we do it and how it is different from mindful parenting When our kids are difficult we try to 'out-difficult' them, and what we can do instead How conscious parenting challenges our western parenting culture and how many of us were raised Quote from Dr. Sheflai Unless we address why we can’t embrace our children for precisely who they are, we will forever either seek to mold, control, and dominate them—or we will allow ourselves to be dominated by them.Tsabary, Dr. Shefali. The Conscious Parent (p. 54). Namaste Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition. How our kid's struggles bring us face to face with our own struggles When our kids aren't easy, they are challenging the things we have conditioned ourselves to be uncomfortable with Letting go of the notion that we are meant to be perfect parents The messy relationships and the struggle matter as much as the peace we crave Hard doesn't mean you are doing it wrong, it often simply means you are doing it Related links and episodes mentioned 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali The key elements of Conscious Parenting Never Say No by Jan and Mark Foreman Three Books That Changed My Mothering Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Join me on Instagram Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends welcome to simple purpose. I'm here to girlfriend Shawna. And this is a follow up episode to episode 166. So I encourage you to stop by and listen to that one versus 13 minutes pretty quick. In that one, we talked about understanding that you can be a mom on purpose because you were made on purpose. It's not a checklist you have to make. It's something that's already inside of you everything you bring into motherhood, your strengths, your struggles, they all matter. They all help your family and you learn and grow together. And I think we can hyper focus on giving our kids this idyllic childhood, I think we can get caught up in all of the Pinterest requirements on how childhood has to look. But the motherhood experience matters just as much it matters. Motherhood matters as much to us as childhood matters to our kids. So our experience matters. This is important. If you want to dig in a little bit into that, check out episode 53 Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories. I'll link that in the show notes. So as we talk about being a mom on purpose, having confidence in the mom you are made to be. I want to also match that with the topic of conscious parenting because this is another layer that I brought into my own parenting over my parenting journey. And I'm aware, I'm a newbie in terms of my parenting career. But this is what I've learned along the way. And this is what I want to share. So conscious parenting Dr. Shefali, literally wrote the book on it. And I'll link that book in the show notes. I've read it, I have lots of highlights in it. It's really, really great. conscious parenting in general is a philosophy that says, our kids are reflecting things to us that we need to be conscious of that we need to be aware of. Because we spend our days living and parenting on autopilot from that subconscious, automatic programming that's running the show. Because how often are you really mindful? How often are you thinking about every decision, every thought, every reaction, every emotion that you're having? How often are you consciously in that rarely, right?

Motherhood is a journey and there are stepping stones along the way of things we learn. I want to share a few of my stepping stones with you. They are around parenting from our own strengths, rather than focussing on what we are doing wrong. I want to share a few ways you can find confidence within yourself rather than from comparison and external validation. In this episode I talk about: the Perfect Mom Checklist Making your own list for motherhood Where to start when you want to do motherhood, on purpose Parenting from checklists and comparison and how can create pride or shame Where we try to find shortcuts to confidence Where we can truly find confidence Finding connection and fun in motherhood Related links and episodes mentioned: 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. How this one list can empower you to be the mom you are The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun The Mom, on Purpose podcast playlist Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 This is a place where we just stop for a minute we slow down and we talk about the ways that we can simplify our lives, remove the distractions, remove the clutter, and start living on purpose with intention shutting off that autopilot. Today I want to talk about doing this in motherhood being a mom on purpose, something that's helped me is to think about motherhood as a journey. So I have three kids, they are 11. One's going to be 10 Soon, and one's going to be eight soon. And so I like to think about the journey I've been on over the past 11 years. For me, it really has been a journey where I started off clueless, I mean, my son, my firstborn son, was the first newborn I ever held. I also started off worried, which was my nature, but that I think that's something you bring into motherhood, you're worried about everything you don't know up against everything you're dealing with. And along the way, you learn. You listen, you try, you adjust, you wait, you learn, you learn what the different color poops mean, you learn how to set schedules and rules. You learn how to find peace, when everything is making you anxious. And you learn how to sit through the hard parts. Rather, rather than just scrambling to fix everything all the time you learn your way you learn the journey. And it really is a journey nobody can take for you. I think we're all looking to other people for the solution for the path. And I think there's a lot of mentorship available, we can support one another. But it really is your own personal journey. If I look back on things that I had wrote, during my earliest years of motherhood, and on the journals that I kept, at that time, I can see the path that I was on, I can see the things that I was learning, I can see little insights, little nuggets, little, not even little, but sometimes they were huge things that I learned that got me from here to there. And then again, from here to there again, and from here to there, again, just like stepping from one step to the next. So today, I want to share one of those things that felt very impactful at moving me along this journey. This is something that has brought me so much peace and empowerment in motherhood. And I want to share it because I think we don't hear it enough. And I think we're looking for it. What we're looking for is confidence in motherhood and confidence in being the mom we are in parenting from the strength of who we are meant to be, rather than focusing on what we're doing wrong. This was a message I heard early on in motherhood, and it was really impactful for me. And so as I coach other moms, and they share this message with them, and I hear them take it in and start to think maybe that could be ...

Spring cleaning had me feeling a mental urgency at ALL THE THINGS I needed to get cleaned in my home. I am sharing how I am approaching that overwhelm. Also sharing how organization and inventory of your stuff can save you money and reduce clutter (starting with the freezer!) Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. The main points covered in this episode My cleaning goals for last weekend and how I was derailed by spring cleaning mental drama My spring cleaning list and closet jenga Operating from a sense of urgency and how it can lead to shame/resent Paying attention to our thoughts and which thoughts we will 'hop on and run off with' Cleaning out the freezer The hidden costs of stockpiling and having all of the options on hand, scarcity minset How to do a food inventory (and save money on groceries!) Organizing things in a way that makes them accessible and visible Doing an inventory of things to prevent you from doubling up by buying more because you don't realize you have it at home All the fun links you might like 61. How we introduced chores to our kids (Saturday Morning Chores) 60. Doing Chores You Want to Avoid (how I life coached myself to do the dishes) @GOCLEANCO on Instagram A quick video about thought trains by Russ Harris 154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) A post I shared on IG, four years go, about using the notes app to do storage inventory Bitters, I like this peach one by Dillons, the next one I want to try is the Alcohol-Free digestive bitters by Flora FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. Around here, we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heaart your life. So you can show up right now in whatever season you're in and show up for it on purpose with intention about what you want, and how you want to act and what you want more of and what you want less of. Today, I want to talk about some recent decluttering and cleaning that I was doing the other weekend. And some realizations I came to while I was doing it. And I share this stuff not because I think it's something you've never heard, or maybe don't even know because often, I think I share things that we do know deep down inside, but I share it because it's a good reminder, it was a good reminder to me and so I want to share it with here here with you. And maybe you will find something from it. So Spring is here, spring is here in Canada. And I don't know about you, but I've noticed as my kids are getting older, and we're like in this family home, that wshen spring comes along, I kind of lose my blinders. I've got blinders on either side of my head, of all of the areas of my home that have built up with grime and clutter over the winter months. And I started also thinking that maybe spring cleaning was invented by Canadian parents who had paid very little attention to their homes for the hockey season. And now they're just faced with realities of unmapped floors and chaotic mushrooms. So Saturday is our joy morning here. It's a routine that we have so that rooms are just getting picked up for the most part on a regular basis. I'm going to link an episode where I talk about Saturday morning chores, how we started our kids doing it and also an episode about me, life coaching myself to doing the dishes. It's a very underrated episode. So I think it's worth sharing. So I was rolling into the Saturday and I felt this freedom that you have when you don't have any plans, no hockey, no plans, I put on my sneakers, I put on a good playlist and I was ready to get some cleaning done. The other weekend I intended to break up them up and also help at least one kid dredge under ...

I was asked to cover this topic in the recent feedback survey. I think it is a great question to ask, and it is one I've ruthlessly searched to the ends of Pinterest to answer, 'how to find balance in motherhood' In this episode, I will share about the extra demands in my life right now and the ways I am finding balance in a very busy season of life of motherhood, school and work. Topics covered in this episode: What we think 'balance' means culturally for women and moms What I have decided to make it mean for myself The power of prioritizing and all the reasons it is hard to prioritize What I am saying yes to this year What I am saying no to this year How I plan out my weeks How I protect my priorities and the reality that it doesn't always look or feel lovely Adjusting things as I go versus having an all or nothing mindset Owning it and not feeling like a victim of my life Links you might like: Simplify your life series What I Learned While Searching for Balance in Motherhood The Eisenhower Matrix Opportunity costs, talk about this a bit more in How to Define Simple Living for Your Family The Life on Purpose Roadmap How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) @themanwhohasitall 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better 137. Back to school routines that we have in our house Family Rhythms 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? Working through a bad mood with one simple question GET CONNECTED Make sure to share your thoughts with us in the Facebook group, or on Instagram! Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome to the simple minimalist podcast, I am sure that many of you know me as your nerdy girlfriend. I am the mom of three kids. And I am passionate about us simplifying our home, our hearts our lives. So we can clear those distractions, clear the clutter and show up for what really matters to us in the lives that with intention with purpose, you may have noticed my tagline change to intentional living and parenting. And I think that really gets to the heart of where we're all headed towards where we're all wanting to work towards doing things in our day that help us feel intentional towards that bigger picture of what we want in our life. 0:45 On today's episode, I'm talking about a question that was brought up in the reader feedback survey. And it came up a few times and a few different ways. And that's the general question of how do I balance it? Also, it was a question directed towards me. And I'm going to talk about how I have found a balance in this really busy year of life, hoping that what I share with you will help you you find balance in whatever busy season you find yourself in. 1:10 I know I've spent a lot of years, especially in the early years when I had all of my kids at home, the toddlers and the baby. And I remember searching like balancing motherhood balancing kids balancing babies, toddlers, I was really drawn into this notion that if I could just find the right steps, then this would all be easy, that it would all flow effortlessly, that things would feel balanced. And I think a lot of us crave that, that balance that sense of balance. 1:44 But maybe we don't really sit and think about what balance is like, what do we think it is? I think on one hand, we kind of look around and look at all the things everyone's doing, for their health, for their parenting, for their jobs, for their personal development. And we think that's just a general list of all the things I need to be doing to be a healthy human. And I should just be doing the all of those things and feel that sense of inner peace that's going to come from finding balance. 2:11 In my experience of going through the years of, you know, raising small children, having them at home,

How to have more fun with our kids. It is OK if you feel like you aren't enjoying your kids and if having fun with them is not happening or is hard to do. There are a lot of reasons why we aren't having fun and I want to talk about those and then share ways to bring fun into your family, on purpose In this episode we talk about: The cultural image that makes parenting look fun will be easy and natural. And part of us holds onto this stock photo dream of family fun. Is Motherhood What You Envisioned It To Be? The culture of fun in your family and where people in your family are getting their 'fun' 9 Simple Ways to Cultivate Your Family Culture Letting the day build up into a stress mountain vs having small redirects in our day When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 55. Tips to move out of the stress response and into resilience Distractions from harder emotions vs honouring our emotions and doing something to help us move on 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Reasons why we aren't having fun with our kids 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood 25. Working through unhappiness in motherhood, life coaching steps for handling a bad day. Bonus Q+A Episode Making fun when things feel heavy Making fun happen, on purpose Making a list Simple and Easy Kid Activities (mega list of ideas) some family fun suggestions tips on planning it How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) Family Rhythms + free worksheet 148. Why even make family Christmas traditions? (+ ones that didn’t work, ones that did) three ways we can bring fun into our family How to bring fun into the harder times of your day Handing sibling rivalry and competition while doing fun things following through on our plans for fun, even when we don't feel like it showing up well for the fun COMPANION EPISODE: 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself All of the things that take away your presence and attention from doing fun things with your kids Things that feel more important and how to reframe them The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) What memories are you making in motherhood (and how it can change your motherhood experience) Connect and let me know how you are having fun, on purpose Post about it in the Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram Simple Pleasure This delightful new email newsletter by my friend Taco Katie who is sharing her great reads at This Librarian is Reading. Sign up for her newsletter here! Follow her on Instagram Full Transcript (unedited) HI friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the Simple on purpose podcast. If you're new here, welcome. I started simple on purpose about eight years ago, I think. And the whole premise is to simplify like I learned about decluttering. I started decluttering my home, it helped me declutter my life. My mind, it helped me to just realize all the ways I was living on autopilot. So I thought I want to simplify things. I want to simplify my life, my home, and I want to start showing up for my life on purpose. I want to do things on purpose. So that's what I'm here for, for helping you do that to helping you turn off the autopilot. Because I know what it's like to get to the end of your day, and feel like you are constantly busy, but also totally unproductive. I want to help you stop just reacting to life and start being really proactive with what ...

When we want others to think well of us, what is happening is we are buying into the cultural myth that WE are all good, all the time. And then our EGO steps in to defend this truth and make us look good all the time. But this comes at a cost, it disconnects us from others. What if we can allow the not so good parts of ourselves to be seen and accepted? What if people don't HAVE TO to think the best of us? Quieting our ego in our relationships, especially in our marriage. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. In this episode I discuss: Assumed judgement versus concrete judgement. Assuming what others think about us reflects what we think about ourselves Differing between the cultural term of EGO from how Freud uses the term EGO Wanting to believe we are all good, all the time How the EGO shows up when we feel we are being judged or feel inferior Should we be happy all of the time? 66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife The cultural message that we are all awesome, all the time! Acknowledging that we are not good all the time and how that can free us and improve our relationships The problem with teaching our kids there are 'good guys and bad guys' The role of serotonin in feeling superior and special Tame your Anxiety by Loretta Breuning, PhD Habits of a Happy Brain by Loretta Breuning, PhD Differentiating between wanting our friends to think well of us or wanting to be socially superior Making change from a place of shame/inferiority What does it mean if we are NOT 100% good or 100% bad How it can improve our relationships Acknowledging our good without minimizing it and taking ourselves off the hook to perform Validating ourselves rather than looking for validation from others. Acknowledging what is 'good' and 'bad' in our partner and allowing it to bring ease rather than a fight The Hard and Awesome Game we play with our kids and how it de-stigmatizes 'hard things' and also celebrates 'awesome things'. Letting go of the expectation that the whole day has to be good and awesome and allowing the hard parts of our day to not take over Stop by Instagram for some fun conversations there Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is the podcast where I remind you to stop, slow down, 0:14 breathe. Like really take a deep breath. Let's just slow down. Because I want you to stop where you are. So you can pay attention. what's working, what's not? 0:28 What will bring you a sense of purpose today. So I'm Shanna, you know, me as your nerdy girlfriend. I have been coaching women since 2018. And I am a counselor in training working on my certification. I'm also a mom of three kids, my kids, how old are they now, my oldest just turned 11. My middle is nine and my youngest is seven. So I am just here going through the motions of motherhood and marriage and life alongside you guys, and just trying to share on the topics that come up for me. And this, this is a topic that has been in my drafts for a while. And then this morning, Connor was home. And he gave me a suggestion for how I could handle some of our banking that we're working on, I do all of the finances. And man did my defenses go up over that. So I went to this notes file. And I just started self reflecting and adding more to this episode. So I want to open up with a story. And it was a few years back, my husband came home from work and he said, How was your day? And I was like, Oh, it's good. And he was quiet. And he said, You haven't said that it was good for a really long time. I'm not sure if I've shared this story before I might have. But when he said that I felt so embarrassed.

Ever wonder if decluttering will be worth your time? Does minimalism really matter much? This question was asked in a recent survey I held and I thought it was so valuable. Because we all want to know that going through the work of decluttering will be worth it. Sometimes we need to hear about the benefits to help motivate us to start and move forward with the work of simplifying. I'll share my own decluttering story as well as the benefits I see from in, after being 7-8 years in. Why having less matters, is a topic that was suggested in the 2022 Feedback Survey. Make sure you give your feedback if you haven't done so yet. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Collect memories, not things Starting out with my pitch to celebrate with your people, and make memories together when the opportunity comes your way. Take the chance! Why You Should Date Your Friends Giving Experiences Instead of Gifts A bit about my decluttering journey. It started with the book The Joy of Less, by Francine Jay. This book prompted me to start decluttering the Basement of Shame. This was the big declutter I started with and since then, decluttering has been a routine in my life The benefits of having less Clearer space We know there is a scientific correlation between your mental state and clutter What Clutter Do You Tolerate? (Bust Your Tolerations Workbook) Being able to USE your space for what you want The 16 ways minimalism has changed my life How it makes our space easier to clean, but also #welivehere More mindful More mindful of how I shop 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) Five Ways We Justify Needless Shopping The mindset is not about consumption anymore The Habit of Consumption More clarity Decluttering means making constant decisions, so you need to self-reflect as you make these decisions. This helps you know more about who you are what you want to do with your space and your life. As you make more decisions, you become a more confident decision-maker How to Define Simple Living for Your Family Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Enough is enough Having less means knowing when to say ENOUGH BEMA episode on ENOUGH I have sweaters at home, I don't need more Fewer decisions are required when you don't have the excess distracting you 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE The Quickest Way to Simplify Your Life (and nine areas to try it out) When you have less, you have what you want and that becomes 'enough' The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Intentionality seeps into your life This whole process of removing the distractions, the entertainment, the overconsumption really makes you aware of what is left. Decluttering over the years puts you in a mindset of asking WHY and constantly evaluating things you are bringing into your home and life Six mindsets that help you become a minimalist REMEMBER Declutter is simple but not easy. It is a lot of uncomfortable work. But the short-term discomfort of decluttering is better than the long-term discomfort of living with clutter. 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? Stop by Instagram for the basement before and after This is what our basement looked like for many years, with the DIY fort - Our Minimalist Family Home: Basement Before and After View this post on Instagram

This is a continuation of the insights we had in the #moms30for30 challenge, where we wore 30 items of clothes for 30 days. This challenge was a way for us to shop our closets, wear clothing items we never wear (cause we always stick with familiar, right!?), put together outfits, and get dressed each day. In this episode we cover: The power of visual data aka taking dorky outfit selfies How getting dressed can be a keystone habit that has a ripple effect in other areas of your life Paying attention to how you FEEL when you get dressed The personal goal I gave myself for this challenge versus the goal I have had in past challenges Can comfort and style co-exist (for the under 60 crowd?) How taking the time to observe and edit your wardrobe can make getting dressed simple and easy Same clothes but different looks, using accessories and the rule of three The breakdown of my numbers in doing this challenge 22 items for 26 days 7 Pairs of pants (3 jeans, 1 black jean, 1 jogger) 17 Tops 7 blouses 3 sweaters 3 tees 4 cardigans (Head over to the previous episode post to see the photos of my outfits) Building a capsule wardrobe is not about having all of the options. It is more about having a handful of great items that you love My encouragement to empower you in dressing how YOU want Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Simple Pleasure Is a handheld fabric steamer. I bought mine last year and have used it for things like drapes and curtains, thrifted items, and most of my shirts. It is easy and fast to use and the satisfaction of seeing those wrinkles and creases steamed out is making this my simple pleasure! This is the one I use. Mentioned and related links: Join the Facebook group, if you are ready to participate in the community! The realization I had when I saw the Instagram feed of me instead of being pics of my kids When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids The emotional shopping I was doing last fall 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) The rule of three Simple Style Tips for Moms The 2022 Feedback Survey! I wonder about what you think, so I am going to ask you here and hope you will share your thoughts. Full transcript (unedited) This episode is part two of the insights that I am sharing on the moms 30 for 30 to 3430 Challenge, where we were wearing 30 items of clothes for mostly 30 days of the month of February. So I have been sharing my own insights as well as those insights of the women who joined along in the challenge and shared their experience in the Facebook group. Okay, side note about the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community Facebook group, I want to tell you two things. The first is that if you have applied to enter, you need to answer all of the entry questions. So if you haven't been approved yet, go back and do that. If you're interested in joining, be mindful of that. Don't close that window right away, answer all those questions. And the second point I want to make is, I really encourage you to be a minimalist with your Facebook groups, and only join this one if you want to be an active member, because this group is a place for community discussion. And that means participation. So if you feel like participating isn't something that you're going to be doing, then just keep listening along here. Keep reading through the email, don't worry about joining that group. And I don't want it to come off as harsh. But for any of you who have ever run an online community or an in person community, you know what I mean? It takes engagement to succeed and to create a community. And that is what I want to challenge the members of that Facebook group to be doing to become a community.

In this episode, we are recapping the moms30for30 capsule wardrobe challenge. I will be sharing the insights I have learned and the ones shared by the ladies who joined in this round. Listen to this if you are curious about a capsule wardrobe, simplifying your closet, being more intentional with clothes shopping, being mindful about how trends impact you and finding your personal style, and if you have struggled with the notion of being a mom who gets dressed each day. What is the moms30for30? This is a 30for30 challenge in which we wear 30 items of clothes for 30 days (or pretty darn close!) Why I love to do the 30for30 challenge: It has helped me do things like learn to put outfits together, get to know my style better, interview my closet so I can declutter things that don’t belong, and get dressed each day. If you want to read about the past challenges I have done over the year head to this page. This challenge has helped me really challenge a lot of discomfort I have had about being 'too much' and having a limiting identity of 'who I am/who I am not'. Challenges put us in a situation where we are challenging ourselves....getting uncomfortable! And also, getting some consistent data and increasing our awareness of what the experience is like for us. We have so much to learn from doing a challenge vs trying a behaviour or action for a day or two. Insights we (myself and those ladies who joined in!) had around wearing 30 items of clothes for 30 days! Listen to hear more about each of these points: Getting dressed in our favourite items vs always wearing the familiar items Some questions to ask yourself to help you understand if you are going for favourite or familiar The benefits of wearing your favourites The burden of keeping 'backups' A simple exercise to help you determine your favourites Understanding why we shop How fast fashion impacts our ability to determine our own personal style Noticing feelings of insecurity and scarcity we have when we think about buying more clothes How we handle these feelings of insecurity and the two outcomes it can give us My new shopping mantra that I have adopted that has helped me shop very mindfully Taking pride in ourselves vs the vanity of focussing on our outward appearance There is a common sentiment that being a mom who focusses on her own appearance can be a self-focussed or vain situation The filter through which we make assumptions about others being vain or being empowered How to determine what is acceptable for you and understanding healthy pride vs vanity Related and Mentioned Links Thanks to those who have filled out the 2022 Feedback survey, if you are up for sharing your feedback please do so here The intro episode into this year's 30for30 and my aha moment around what was in my closet 151. Capsule wardrobe closet remix challenge, the #moms30for30 Decision fatigue (for those who feel overwhelmed by all the options of fashion) 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE Noticing a scarcity mindset 40. Does the ‘not-enough’ mindset show up in your momlife? (Scarcity/Abundance) Getting dressed day episode 128. Getting dressed every day, with less guilt & more confidence (with Jaime McLaughlin) Being moms who support other moms regardless of what we wear The Instagram Post Photos from my 303for30 challenge this month FULL TRANSCRIPT Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. 0:12 This is a place where I encourage you to slow down and start paying attention to your life. Start removing the distractions, really decide what matters most to you and show up well for that living on purpose. 0:26 So to start out, thank you to those of you who have filled out the feedback survey, that is something that I do each year and I ask questions about how you like to follow simple on purpose,

Hi friends, welcome to an MVP episode. These are episodes I have shared over the years that I have had feedback on that they have been particularly helpful. I am sharing these for those who missed them the first time around and for those who want a refresher. This MVP episode is all about the labels we give our kids and how it changes us and them. In this episode we talk about: What is a typecast How we are labelling our kids, and might not even realize it How we parent according to this label and enforce our own confirmation bias How it changes our child's self-concept and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy What to do about labelling our kids Links mentioned in this episode: the 2022 Feedback Survey book a free mini-session Personality isn’t Permanent by Benjamin Hardy episode 49 on having a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset Episode 76: Why it matters what you think

This past week I decluttered a few spaces in the home, the kitchen craft drawers and the office closet. These are areas that had become unruly with stuff and clutter. They have been on my list to declutter as we need to start clearing out our kitchen and dining area to prepare for an upcoming kitchen reno. In this episode I share: How decluttering one space can require decluttering of another space where storage is interrelated How I have been slowly reducing the storage in my kitchen over the years The craft drawers in the kitchen and the maintenance they have required of me What junk I am finding in my office and my craft drawers How I declutter these areas (steps I take to tackle it) What I have learned over years of decluttering my spaces How I have resistance to decluttering and how I pep talk myself into getting the decluttering done Photos of the spaces and decluttering process Before we moved in, this was the wall between the kitchen area and the living area The kitchen, before decluttering (2014/2015) The wall of pantry storage in the kitchen, before decluttering Our current kitchen (2021/2022) Decluttering the craft drawers (and sorting into piles as I go) Emptied the craft dresser in the kitchen! Only the top supplies made the cut, to be stored in the office closet The required humble brag memes to let my husband know I will be buying myself a tiny trophy* for my efforts (*probably in the form of aged white cheddar) How the office closet was holding up.... (and if you spy that White Jesus art there, it is a completed puzzle that someone framed- I know, I have questions too. But I brought it home so I could use the frame) Totally emptied out the closet so my husband could build the shelves. It is amazing how much was crammed into that space! Real-life organization that doesn't look cute, but works for us Related links on decluttering and managing 'stuff' in your family Episode 11. Are we TOO comfortable? + Do we need so much pantry space? Episode 2. Decluttering the kitchen, meal planning book, capsule wardrobes and the currently list. Decluttering our home (on instagram stories) Setting a vision for our kitchen helped me to declutter it over the years Episode 65. When your kids don’t play with their toys anymore 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) Hygge vs Minimalism Full transcript (unedited) 0:12 I am recording this on my Friday, Friday, it is finally a free day for me a free day where I didn't have any work scheduled any school that I had to do. It didn't have to be recovering from COVID, all of that kind of stuff. And the reason why it's a free day is I had finished my coursework a couple days early for this session that I'm in, I do a course every three weeks. And so every three weeks, I turned in that package of assignments for the course. And I tell you every three weeks it feels like I'm delivering a child like I'm birthing something, it's like a labor and delivery every three weeks and then start again on Monday. 0:53 So I had a day to day where I knew I was going to have time to tackle a big decluttering project in my house. And it was one of those projects, that involves a couple areas of the house. And I know you guys have shared this with me about your own hurdles, and decluttering. It's like, well, if I do the bathroom, and then I have to do the whole cloth. And if I do the hall closet, then I need to do the linen closet. Like it just all starts connecting room to room space to space, right. 1:22 I call it the decluttering series. And so I had a decluttering series in my life, so to speak, because here's what's happening in the spring, hopefully this spring, we are planning to do a kitchen renovation. And part of this kitchen renovation involves us needing to clear ...

We spend much of our days avoiding the emotions we don't want to feel and panicking when we do feel those negative emotions. But then what happens is we give control over to the emotions and build up our lives hustling away the 'bad'. Over the years I have learned a lot about emotions that has personally brought me freedom from fearing emotions. This is something I have also coached many women on over the years. A big hurdle we have is knowing what we feel, and then struggling with the fact that we don't WANT to feel that emotion. In this episode I cover: The three big insights that have changed my relationship to my feelings What the work of Dr. Candace Pert reveals about what emotions ARE How we learn what we are feeling How we are conditioned to view feelings What makes an emotion 'negative' or 'unacceptable' Being aware of our tolerance of emotions The real problems with emotions Understanding the role of emotions How to tap into the intuition emotions can offer us rather than running from the emotions Collaborating with our emotions rather than competing with them Related links you might like: The Spotify playlist for all episodes on Emotional Intelligence 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife How to really start showing up for your life Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood The Enneagram and Motherhood Series Book: The Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candace Pert Aritcle: The Physics of Emotion Simple Pleasure of the Week: Benefit cheek and lip stain Full transcript (unedited) 0:06 Hey friends is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose. Welcome to the Simple on Purpose podcast. My aim here is to share with you thoughts, ideas, stories that will help you let go of the old ways, the useless stuff, the heavy stuff, the unnecessary stuff in your life in your space in your brain, so that you can get into the driver's seat of your life, and steer that car, steer that ship to where you want it to go. 0:36 What do you want more of more fun, more passion, more purpose, more presence, because that's what I signed up for. And that's what I'm here to share with you. 0:48 But it doesn't all come without the shedding part, right without the letting go. Letting go of what doesn't work, what doesn't help you live on purpose. And this is the part that needs to be addressed. Because life on purpose is not just like Instagrammable, magical confetti and balloons. Life on purpose comes with friction and discomfort. 1:11 And so today, I want to dig into that a little bit and talk about the F word, feelings. And a lot of this content is some I had drafted up back in the fall. And I came across it when I was doing a school project this week. 1:25 And let me tell you school was my only focus this week, because your girl was home sick on the couch with COVID. And I know many of you have had it, it finally hit us here it finally hit our home, I was the only one that had it though. Everyone else thoroughly avoided me and seemed to skirt it. 1:44 But I was sick in I see a lot of different people on social media sharing their experiences with COVID. And I was comforted by those who told me that they were really sick too. Like I was exhausted just making toast. I needed to nap a couple times a day. And I am not a Napper. 2:03 But I had also gotten to this place where I was kind of comparing my experience with others because I had heard that there were others who had only a cough or a scratchy throat. And here I was just like rolling from the couch to the bed to the couch day after day. And it was definitely getting into my head, feeling like I should be tougher. I should get over this sooner. Like they say five days, but it's been more than five days. And it's just ironic, really,

How do we talk about hard things? For some of us, our emotions seem overwhelming and we find ourselves dumping them out onto those around us. For some, our emotions seem unacceptable and we find ourselves bottling them up. Neither of these strategies really helps us process our emotions and make progress with them. I think we all find ourselves either emotional dumping to bottling at different times to different people, and I want to support you with how to address both of these situations In this episode: What emotional dumping looks like How it causes a disconnect and drain in relationships Why we emotion dump What venting looks like How it can create connection and support in relationships Why it is hard to vent How to grow in self-awareness if you are someone who emotion dumps What to do if you are someone who emotion dumps What to do if you are someone who bottles up their emotions The difference between clean pain and dirty pain Giving yourself permission to vent How to vent to someone you trust, in a way that creates safety and connection Related links mentioned: The #moms30for30 The episode from Hidden Brain, Where Happiness Hides Full transcript (unedited) 0:12 For those of you who are new, you're welcome. I'm Shawna. I'm a mom of three. I live in small town BC, Canada. I am a life coach to moms who want to live with more purpose, peace, presence and passion. And I think passions really important part because I think that we should be enjoying our lives a lot more than we let ourselves sometimes. 0:31 So I am just squeezing this recording in my kids are going to be home in about 27 minutes, I'm going to record this. And today I want to talk about something called Emotional dumping. 0:42 And let's Twilight music back to a time when my kids were much smaller babies and toddlers. And this was about seven years ago, I had all my babies and three and a half years. Now they're 10, nine and seven. 0:56 So let's flashback, and I'm home with them. And you know, no matter how many kids you have, if you're at home with a kid, one or two or three, it can feel wild. And when there's more than one and they take turns napping, and then they have tantrums, and their snacks lying around the kitchen. Like it's just, it's just crazy times. 1:15 And there's good times too right? like dance parties and dress up and cute little giggles. But when you are in it, day after day, it wears you down. And I know there were a lot of days where Connor would walk through the door at the end of the day. And I would unload narration of everything that went wrong that day. And I've reflected a lot on this. And it's something that I still do sometimes. 1:40 And when I'm doing it when I've done it, I think that I really want someone to acknowledge how hard it is and how hard I was trying. And I know that I didn't validate myself a lot, especially in early motherhood, and I was looking to him to do it. I still sometimes do this, like I said, it's a process. 1:57 But I think this is a pretty common pattern that we moms can fall into. Because our world is really shrunken down to the toddlers in our home. Some close friends or two and the stream of moms quote unquote, doing it right on Instagram. So when that person who's out in the world walks into the door, we do it I call emotional dumping. 2:19 Even if you're like me, emotional dumping is not a term you want to give it because you want to know that you can come to the people you love with the hard things that you're going through and talk to them about it. And that's not quite what I'm talking about. 2:33 I'm going to spend this episode really differentiating the two, I'm talking about those times where it goes past, venting into that land of complaining and nagging and blaming. 2:46 This is a topic that I've covered in the month of gratitude challenge that I've done in the past.

We are feeling ready! We have stocked our motivation with books and podcasts and tedtalks, and we have our sneakers on and we are READY So what do we do?? It is normal to start making a list of all the changes we want to make and pursue a massive overhaul of all the things we want to see changed. This is NOT the sustainable way to make change. It feels so necessary to do all the things while this window of motivation is open! But this approach will leave us fizzling out and believing we just aren't disciplined enough and that we don't have enough willpower. In this episode we talk about: What happens when we take on a lot of change all at once What happens when the motivation tapers out Myths we believe about willpower and how it impacts our view of ourselves How we can set ourselves up for success by simplifying the whole approach How to make change that fits into the life we already have Why our brain is not excited about making a lot of changes all at once Why simplifying change is important in developing our skills for change My approach to simplifying a change I want to make with my coffee intake Resources and episodes mentioned 105. Do you TRUST yourself to show up for YOU? 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better Podcast Playlists: Simple on Purpose on Spotify The Life on Purpose Workbook Homemaker, on Purpose (the guidebook) Full transcript (unedited) 0:04 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is a podcast for women, moms, whoever, whoever wants to do this work, who wants to do the work of living their life with more purpose, more peace and more presence. And I think more passion, because this is your life, and you should enjoy it. 0:26 This is a follow up episode to the last one about moving from ambivalent to ambitious. And I want to talk about that moment, when you are finally motivated. What should you be doing? How should you handle this motivation that has been bestowed upon you? By all of the work you have to do? Because there are a lot of steps that had to get you here to feel ready to make a change? Do you remember some of those from the last episode, acknowledging the dissatisfaction acknowledging the desires? Asking yourself honestly, if you're willing, and asking where you're capable? And where do you need to work on some skills? 1:02 So let's say we've acknowledged all of these components, it has taken a lot to get here, right? We had to move ourselves from ambivalent to ambitious. It's like pushing a boulder up hill. All right, so we are feeling ready. What are we doing? We're feeling ready, we listen to some podcasts, we read the books, we watch the TED talks, this is everything that I have done to get myself even more motivated. Just to keep stoking those motivation fires. This is going to happen we are going to make some change. Watch out family Mom's got her sneakers on copies on Bruno Mars, singing perm. Watch out, okay, we are here, we're ready. 1:40 What are we gonna do? What will we do? How will we handle this energy that we have that we're just ready to get started. And this is what I see happen all the time. What I did to was think I have to change all of it. Everything, Pinterest boards for all of it, the kids will be on a schedule. Every room will be decluttered vegetarian meals all week, family meditation, or let's try that morning exercise. That is how I felt when I finally woke up to my life, all of the things need to be changed. 2:09 Now your Enneagram type might start to shine through right here. How will you handle this idea of making all this change. And if you're a type nine, like me, you would turn around, crawl back into bed and just put your blankets over your head but for most people,

How do you go from sitting on the couch staring at your phone to DOING the THING you said you WANTED to be doing? I want to teach you how to spot AMBIVALENCE and how to address it, so you can go through the steps of moving from ambivalent to ambitious and feel ready and motivated to make the changes you want in your life. I reference the 'last episode' and since I recorded this episode earlier, this is the 'last episode' on Habit Refinement that I am referring to. What is ambivalence? Ambivalence is being of two minds, you want it and you don't. Ambivalence distances us from making change - sometimes this distance is helpful and sometimes it just keeps us stuck The steps of moving from ambivalent to ambitious Waking up to your life and becoming aware of our dissatisfaction and/or our desires. This can be a very uncomfortable stage that requires humility and bravery to address. Ambivalence shows up here with a defense for the status quo Willingness to make a change, and the most important thing required here is honesty on if you are in fact WILLING to make the change and go through the change process A sense of capability. We expect ourselves to be innately capable of making changes and overlook the fact that making change takes layers of skills we need to develop and hone. Change takes more than just discipline and motivation I wanted to lay all of this foundation out because it is worth acknowledging what it actually takes to be ready to make a change. We often think we just need motivation and discipline and then change will be innate. But it takes so much more, particularly paying attention to the stories we are telling ourselves and what we really truly want and are willing to do. Help yourself move from ambivalent to ambitious What am I dissatisfied with here? What is my part in it? What is in MY control? What do I want, what do I desire? What doubts come up for me here? Am I willing to make this change, and go through this process? What skills do I have that will help me? What skills do I think I will need to work on developing? Am I willing to do that? Episodes mentioned 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:06 Hey friends, it's Shawn, your nerdy girlfriend life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. If you are a simple on purpose podcast listener returning again, Welcome, friend. So glad that you were here coming back time and time again, I love spending this time with you. And if you're new here, welcome around here around simple on purpose. And we're all about finding ways to make your life more simple and more purposeful, so you can show up for the things that really matter to you. 0:32 In this new year, we're talking about things like intentions and personal values and habits. And I want to keep building on this topic because I don't want you to lose momentum. If you are feeling like this is on your brain making some changes looking at your habits, then I want to help keep stoking that fire so to speak. In the last episode, we talked about going through your daily habits that you already have and starting to refine them. 0:58 And that was a really powerful exercise for me, I did that as I was writing those notes for the show. And I've kept my notes in my notes app on my phone. And I'm going back to them. And I'm still looking at like my daily habits and how I want to be altering them a little bit. I found it really helpful. For instance, I'm already spending less time on my phone in the morning and a little bit more time with my planner, kind of figuring out what I want my life to look like instead of looking at what other people's lives looks like. There are worksheets with that last episode.

In order to do my capsule wardrobe challenge (#moms30for30) I decided to do a big closet declutter. I'm sharing my takeaways and tips to help you do that big clothes declutter, make refined decisions about what stays, and have a strategy to build up a capsule wardrobe that WORKS FOR YOU! Cause, you need a wardrobe that works for your lifestyle, your taste and your body! The steps of my recent big closet declutter: Precontemplation: motivation, conviction, paying attention to what is there, considering the style vision you have for yourself The total closet clear-out: considering do I NEED more clothes? Approach to choosing what would stay in my closet: what stays vs what goes, refining my closet, choosing items I love Questions to ask to decide what stays: versatility, fit, personal style How to consider your lifestyle when choosing what clothes to keep: hobbies, activities, weather, job, your seasonal lifestyle, how you want to feel in your current life, etc. Approaches to building a capsule wardrobe: Focus less on numbers and meet yourself where you are at Seasonal rotations Creating uniforms (owning it and making ones that work for your lifestyle) How to handle the clothes you are decluttering (the safe option vs the one that is hard for us) Consider how you like to interact with fashion (room to play vs sticking to simple and timeless) The steps to build a capsule wardrobe that works for your life Keep what you LOVE Keep what you feel good in (fit, style, shape, colour) Keep clothes that work for your lifestyle Spend the time getting to know your closet and learning how to put outfits together Make some uniforms you can have as go-to outfits Consider the 'gaps' items that you want to bring in. Shop with a list, shop mindfully Don't buy into the urgency to have a perfect capsule wardrobe tomorrow How to join in the #moms30for capsule wardrobe challenge (Feb 1st!) Share in the Facebook group Tag me on Instagram Episodes mentioned: Episode 151. Capsule wardrobe challenge #moms3for30 Saturday morning chores Waves of decluttering, How I Started Decluttering (+ tips and insights) Episode 90. Declutter ‘what if I need it one day?’ items from your home with THIS shift Episode 104. Dress like you are 30 read all about the past #moms30for30 here Full transcript 0:08 my aim is to help you simplify. And that really means removing those distractions, those thoughts, those stories that distract you those habits that distract you those things that distract you. And to start to fill your space and your life and your mind with the things you want to keep. 0:34 And we're talking about clothes, shopping, I mean, we can get deep. And you know, it is kind of a deep experience to really start analyzing your relationship to your closet, how you're dressing yourself each day. But I want to continue on the theme of the capsule wardrobe challenge. 0:50 So last week, I recorded an episode that I would be doing the capsule wardrobe challenge the mom's 30for30. This is the challenge that I've been doing since 2014. This will be I think, time number seven that I'm going to do it. And we call it the mom's 30 for 30. Because it is for kind of just that regular old mom life that we're living. And we're gonna wear 30 items of clothes for 30 days. So go back and check out last episode, if you're interested in more info on that more encouragement around that. 1:18 But I did let you know that as part of this process for me, I was going to be doing a big declutter of my closet. And I shared it on Instagram. I shared it in the Facebook group. I did it this past weekend. So I'm going to follow up with an episode on how I did my Declutter. And you guys had some questions around how I made my decisions. So I want to tell you all about that. And then end it all with some real practical tips that I've learned over th...

The 30for30 is a popular closet remix challenge. This February 1st I will be hosting a #moms30for30, which is a challenge we have been doing since 2014, where we wear 30 items for 30 days. You can learn so much about your relationship to your clothes and how to make your closet WORK FOR YOU! The build-up to the big closet declutter: Packing outfits for a trip How do you feel when you see your fave outfits hung up in a tidy closet How do you feel about your cluttered closet full of all the things What can help you do an effective closet declutter? If you are gearing up to declutter your closet then consider getting to know your clothes, putting them through an interview of what will stay. I like to do this with a closet remix challenge, like the #moms30for30, wearing 30 items for 30 days and putting together different outfits. Start paying attention to the clothes you reach for the most, try on clothes you rarely wear and ask how you feel in them (are they uncomfortable for you?). What we need to know about doing a closet remix challenge This isn't about looking the most instagrammable for a full month. This is about getting dressed, putting outfits together and making some decisions about what will earn a spot in your closet. This comes down to the big question we often face when we declutter our clothes: Can I still be enough if I don't keep a closet full of options? Decluttering your closet may challenge your sense of security and you might not a scarcity mindset coming in (check out the episode on that right here). Will you join the challenge and do a 30for30 with us? This is about learning more about your relationship to your clothes and how you are dressing yourself each day. I am doing this challenge for the seventh time (started them in 2014) and I learn (relearn) something valuable about my relationship to my clothes and how I am getting dressed. This is meant to be fun and helpful. It can help you put together outfits that you feel great in. The challenge isn't about being the cutest and trendiest, the challenge is more about getting dressed each day. Ways to let me know you will join in the challenge: Share it in the Facebook group Let me know on Instagram Let me know by responding to the Simple Saturdays email Full transcript 0:09 Welcome to this podcast. I'm here to help you think about the ways that you have been showing up for your life on autopilot. Letting life just happen at you letting things just build up. You might notice this if you have some frustrations and overwhelmed some resentment, you might be living on autopilot. And I want to help you look at the ways that you can simplify. Remove the distractions, remove the clutter, from your home, your heart and your life, so that you can show up for things on purpose with intention. 0:38 So this, it's been a while. It's been a while since I've been back on the podcast, I took a week off again, this winter is slowing me down. I feel like maybe I should just hibernate, like maybe I should just call it what it is and go hibernate, like compare and see all in the spring. But I just love the podcast so much. So I'm back again. I was sick this past week, I had a kid home for some of the week. And I really it's been a while since I've been sick, not COVID. But it's been a while since I've been sick. 1:06 And I just had to laugh at myself. Because I was dreaming over the fall. I'm having this real sick day where I would like you know, before you had kids where you would just stay home and you would watch TV in your pajamas and just check out. And then it turned out I got one. And I really struggled with giving myself a sick day. Which is weird because of all the advice I give my friends and my clients to listen to their bodies and honor their seasons. It's another thing to do it right. I mean, I can call in sick to work. I can put the podcast off for a week,

The new year brings a lot of thought to the goals and habits we want to have. I have a new tool for you to try if you are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with all the work that goes into creating new habits and stopping 'bad habits'. This is called habit refinement. A new tool to try for making habit change With this tool, we do a habit audit to get awareness around what. is already happening and then we use our vision/goals to help us determine how we can refine our current habits and routines to better serve us. Get the worksheets Throughout this episode, I am sharing examples of how I use this tool and I have some worksheets for you to put it into practice in your own life too. Try a new approach to habit change I know this approach might feel counter-intuitive but I encourage you to give it a try as you approach making changes in your life this year. I think you will find this is a gentle yet still challenging way to approach habit change that might help you be more sustainable in your efforts. Posts and resources mentioned in this episode: Find all the shows and the show notes (and transcripts) right here How to make a daily routine that works for you and your family (especially for those of you at home with your kids home from school right now) Four simple habits that make my momlife better (for ideas on simple habit refinement you can add to your routine) The Live your Vision worksheets (the free worksheets to help you set a vision for the nine areas of your life) The Life on Purpose workbook (discover, organize and plan the life you want to live) Habit & Routine Refinement (the worksheets that go with this episode) How to hygge when you're a busy mom (for that cozy, connected, contented vibe of HYGGE that I mentioned in the Simple Pleasure) Hygge vs minimalism (how these two trends stack up to one another) Get connected: Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) The Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:06 Around here, I am sharing ways that you can declutter your home, your heart, and your life. So that you can get rid of those distractions, those frustrations, those sources of overwhelm that are slowing you down, and keeping you from showing up well, for the things that you do want, keeping you from showing up with purpose and intention every single day in the little things that are going to move you closer to that life that you want to be building into. 0:38 So first of all, I want to give a shout out to my fellow moms who have their kids home from school right now. I'm in BC, so our kids were kept home for an extra week, from the winter break. I think in Ontario, you guys have your kids home two extra weeks. So I just want to give a shout out to you guys. And my heart goes out to all the parents who are managing this and making it work. And I know it's not always pretty, it's not always easy. Everyone's in the space, everyone's sharing the space, people are restless, the routines that you've relied on are not happening. 1:10 And so I just I feel for you, because I know what that's like, I was so grateful to my husband that he could take two days off to get me through that week that my kids have been home. But one thing that I always have to come back to and I have to remind myself after not doing it for a couple days, and realizing like oh, I actually need this is a plan a little bit of a plan, a little bit of a routine in place. And I've got some episodes on that. I'll link in the show notes if they help you make a plan that works for you guys and your family. 1:40 But moving ahead, thinking about this time where we're going to get back to school, we're going to kind of get back to our routine, a lot of us in the New Year naturally start to think about our routines and our habits. And habits is a topic that is really popular around this time of year.

How do you want to spend your time? Your energy? Your space and money? When you decide in line with your values you will feel intentional and purposeful with all your little and big decisions. Knowing your personal values helps you learn more about what matters to you, how you want to show up and how to make confident choices in your day and life. But many of us are out of touch with our values, or we have lost touch with them when we entered into motherhood. I want to help you uncover what matters to you, what your personal values are - and I want to do that without the overwhelm that comes from looking at a blank slate. Knowing your values helps you with: Handling the world of 'too much' and decision fatigue (episode on that here) Saying your BEST YES, owning your decisions Feeling like you are living with integrity, purpose and contentment In this episode, we talk about Times when we aren't in touch with our values, how we lose touch with them, how we adopt other people's values instead of uncovering our own Three simple exercises to find your personal values A simple conversation you can have with your loved ones to talk about your values in the season ahead How to approach setting values for this season ahead How to determine if it is your personal value or just one you think you 'should' have Related posts: Blog post: Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? Blog post: I've been living on auto-pilot and I'm changing my ways Blog post: How to define simple living for your family Resources mentioned: The Live your Values worksheets The Live your Vision worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook (discover, organize and plan the life you want to live) The Life on Purpose Roadmap (self-paced course, a life coach in your pocket!) Get connected: Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) The Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram Episode Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, you're here to go in life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome back. Welcome to 2022. Welcome back to the podcast, you might know that I have taken a break from the podcast this past month, it was a much needed break. For me, I think, actually my first ever break from the podcast since I started in 2018. And I was sharing with you guys over the past couple of episodes. And in the email that I was in a really demanding season this past month demanding of my time and demanding of my emotions. And a big factor in all of that is that I had all three kids home and you know, I've kind of built up my life to align with my kids being in school and doing things during their school hours. But they had all been home since the flooding we experienced in British Columbia. Our Town was really affected by that. So since the middle of November, I think they had about 12 hours total of school time, since the middle of November that they've actually gone to school. So it's been really hands on here. And, and it's been, you know, a month of some hard things. But there's also been some awesome things too. One of the most awesome things was thanks to grandma and grandpa. We went away on New Year's Eve for the night, we went to the city spent a night in the hotel ate some great food. And that was something that I had been looking forward to this entire month, just counting down those days. Because I knew I needed that rest. I knew I needed that reset. I'd been operating in stress mode, really for the better part of the month. And I was just really feeling quite worn out. I knew I wanted to be showing up better. I knew I wasn't showing up. As a mom, I want it to be specifically like all of the other things on my plate, I pushed to the backburner. And I was just being a mom. But I felt like I wasn't even doing that very well. And that brings me to the topic of this episode. Anytime I talk about quote unquote, showing up,

Family traditions are something we often think about as we start having kids. Many of us are looking for traditions to bring into our holidays that help us make memories with our kids. Sometimes we even feel an urgency to find the 'right ones, right now'. As we start to incorporate these new tradition ideas, sometimes they don't always work. But here is why I think it is worth spending the effort doing some trial and error with traditions. . . . In this episode we cover: the ways that traditions help us express our values as a family the role of traditions in family heritage finding stability in the routine of traditions the urgency we have to establish our new family traditions traditions we tried that DIDN'T work traditions that DO work for us what I've learned about having Christmas traditions as a young family The Christmas Pajama Stockings The blog post with all the Christmas tradition ideas is right here Simple Christmas Series Simple Christmas Podcast Episodes Episode 42. How to simplify the Christmas stress & gift giving (your Q+As) Episode 43. Tips to Simplify Your Christmas (kids, clutter, traditions, hosting, festivities). Simple Christmas Series Blog Posts Five Tips to Make Your Christmas Simpler and More Enjoyable 11 Ways to Simplify the Gift Giving Our Fave Minimalist and Clutter-Free Kid Gift Ideas Easy Toddler Christmas and Advent Activities Five Tips to Make Your Christmas Simpler and More Enjoyable Nine Ways to Make Your Gifts More Thoughtful How to Shop Your Closet for Great Holiday Outfits Bust These ‘Good Hostess’ Myths and Open Up Your Home this Holiday Season 42 Simple Ways to Spread the Love this Christmas Finding Your Simple Christmas How to Transition to a Minimalist Family Christmas The Simple Christmas Planner can be found right here. The simple pleasure of the week: filling out the NEW planner/calendar Planning your day as a mom How to Get Started Bullet Journalling (easy tips for busy moms) Share in the Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me or message me on Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email (it is FUN! email) FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:06 Welcome to the support purpose podcast. Here I like to share with you all the ideas, all of the tips, all of the encouragement that will help you simplify your home, your heart, your life and show up for the things that are really important to you. I want you to make space, make time and make energy for those things that you really deeply value and want more of in your life. 0:32 As we are coming up to Christmas, something that a lot of us do is think about traditions, we think about the Christmas traditions we had as children, the ones we want. And sometimes we're just carrying along traditions that we've had just adopting them into our future without really even thinking about it. 0:49 I remember back when I had my first my first son, this was 10 years ago. And I was really excited by this notion that I got to build a family, I got to be an active designer in the culture of my family. Back then I also had a ton of anxiety along for the ride. So that derailed a bit of my attempts. But I remember coming into the Christmas season and just building up a lot of buzz around, what are our traditions going to be? I wanted some like memories, I wanted to create some flippin memories. As a family. I wanted my kids to talk about these traditions that we had, I wanted them to carry them on in their own lives. 1:28 And it hit me in that process of really thinking about what are we going to do as a young family? And how are we going to bring traditions into our culture and our Christmas, that traditions are something that are quite important, maybe even sacred. And I think there are three major roles that traditions play in a family. 1:47

Would you like to be more intentional with how you use your phone? Do you want to set boundaries and take back control of what your relationship with your phone looks like? In this episode, I have tips on how to do all of this, and I share my own personal phone boundaries that you might like to try too. Make sure to get the worksheets to help you create your own plan for creating intentional phone habits. Follow up to the last episode on the phone habits and addictions that are made on autopilot. Do you have a motivation for changing your current phone habits? What do you want more of? Less of? If you want to understand your current phone habits, get the worksheets from the last episode right here. In this episode we cover: What we are trying to GET from our phones, what we turn to them for. Getting our needs met in REAL LIFE and not just by our phones How to be intentional with your phone Setting boundaries with how you use your phone I share my own personal phone limits and challenges that help me be intentional and accountable with my phone habits Being intentional with your time OFF of your phone as well Challenging the autopilot habits you have created with your phone Challenging the cultural phone habits we accept as the status quo Changing your mind about what you think about your phone Challenging the sense of urgency you get from your phone Being uncomfortable as you learn not to rely on your phone Doing the work of practising new and more intentional phone habits Get the worksheets to help you set intentional phone habits for yourself This episode has worksheets to help you explore this topic and make an action plan for yourself. Get the worksheets right here. Links mentioned in this episode: Episode 146 Understanding your autopilot phone habits Episode 77. Why you need a day of BEING, and take rest from the DOING When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids The Moms30for30 challenge The next episode will come out in two weeks. In the meantime, make sure to stay connected through: The Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) Simple on Purpose on Instagram Share something in the closed Facebook group (join here, make sure to answer the entry questions) FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:11 Today we are following up on the last episode. And in the last episode we talked about, maybe if you feel like you have a bit of a phone addiction or some unhealthy phone habits, understanding how those habits are made, and they're really made on autopilot. And now we have this relationship to our phone and how we use it and the habits we have, that are just reflexes. They're just on autopilot, and really stepping back to challenge them and understand them and decide what we want to do about it. 0:38 So today, we're going to talk about what you want your relationship with your phone to be like, what kind of phone habits do you want? What kind of boundaries Do you want to set. 0:46 And it is kind of funny to be recording this today, because I have been on my phone almost double my usual amount lately. And that is because of what's happening around me right now I live in Southern BC, we were hit by massive floods. And these floods just come in and they do all this damage. And we're left with roads that are washed out. So groceries can't come in with gas lines that are out. So we're out of heat, we're out of hot water, the water isn't safe to drink, it's contaminated. sewer systems are struggling, power's out kids are home. And this is just the state that we're in. 1:22 And so for me being on my phone and being connected and reading updates, reading, what's what's happening, can I use the water, all of these little details, it shows us how valuable technology is, it's so valuable. 1:36 But still, even in times like this even in emergencies in crisis situations.

I get messages from moms, and coach women who feel like they are addicted to their phones. They share how it pulls them out of their presence with their kids and their lives. It sucks up their time and they feel like they never have enough time. It draws in their attention and they are scrolling social media that does NOT make them feel any better about themselves. It seems that our phone usage isn't getting us what we want. I want to unpack this relationship we have formed with our phones, by letting it be on autopilot. Make sure to get the worksheets that help you assess your relationship to your phone and better understand the exact impact it is having on you and your life. The goal with all of this is not to villainize our phones (I like my phone!), and not to bring more judgment and shame onto ourselves (lasting positive change does not happen from a place of negative judgment) - the goal with this is AWARENESS - what is going on and is it working? In this episode you will hear: the good things about phones and technology the term 'phone addiction' how are phone habits developed the surprising find about habit-reward and how we use our phones the negative impacts we might have from our phone habits time, energy, relationships, work, attention, distractions, physical impacts, coping mechanism, mental health, sleep the worksheets to help you understand how you are using your phone and how it is impacting you. We need to be aware of the costs before we choose to give up the benefit in some way. GET THE FREE WORKSHEETS RIGHT HERE Make sure to send in your QUESTIONS/TOPICS for an upcoming Q+A Episode. You can send them to me through Instagram, or share in the Facebook group. LINKS The study on dopamine, rewards and phones Distracted phone users don't see the gorilla Text neck, how staring at your phone impacts your body FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends at Shawna your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast, episode 146 Your relationship with your phone on autopilot. 0:16 And I know we hear a lot of negativity around the impacts of phones on us as a society on us in our daily lives. But before we kind of talk about that and unpack that, I want to talk about the good things because I think they really are good things. I am someone who likes my phone, I like to use it. I like the technology. 0:38 I got my first smartphone when I was like 27 or 28. So it's like 2009/ 2010. Before that it was the Flip Phone era in my life, there was a bit of texting, definitely not photos, surely no internet connection. And you know, back when I did get my phone, that there was this big catchy saying out there. There's an app for that. So everything was really about using these different types of apps for productivity and games. And you know, it was just really a place to check emails and play some games for the most part, I think. 1:10 But that quickly advanced and by the time I was having babies, I was using my phone often I would scroll Pinterest a lot. While I was up at night nursing, I would watch some Netflix Well, I was nursing or pumping things like that. 1:26 So as my babies were growing, so was my phone usage. And as they moved a little bit into toddlerhood, Instagram became a really important part of my daily life. It truly felt like a community. It was my community. I followed other moms on their in their day, we would check in with each other. There was no scheduled posts, no algorithms messing your feed, no stories just in the moment sharing. 1:50 So I'm not going to shame another mum who's using her phone because to me it it has been a place where I found community I found entertainment, I found information, I found answers to my questions. And I think that this is a really useful tool in our lives. 2:06

I knew I had to share this episode as I heard more and more coaching clients tell me how much they appreciated hearing me say that I don't always enjoy my kids, that I was a mom martyr, that pregnancy was hard. I keep hearing how much it matters to hear that they aren't alone in these struggles of motherhood. In this episode I am talking about: Feeling like you aren't 'normal' Welcoming the resistance you might feel to the idea that you aren't alone What I have seen in coaching groups of women and moms The struggles I have in my own home, maybe you have them too Sibling rivalry Having compassion for ourselves allows us to have it for others Being honest about our struggles Allowing people in, and offering support to others Stop by the Facebook community group or send me a message through Instagram. View this post on Instagram A post shared by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) The list of links you might like/mentioned in this post: Permission to grieve (having a parent with dementia) Dear friend, you are not alone My C-Section and the feelings I was ashamed to admit I had The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) A Mom No Matter What (For the mom who had a hard labour and delivery) God's grace in difficult parenting Marriage posts When they tell me I'm lucky to have him 12 ways to heal and strengthen your marriage Mom martyr (making motherhood harder than it needs to be) When I realized I didn't enjoy my kids The Sibling Rivalry podcast episode that changed my whole mindset around parenting Full Episode Transcript (unedited) 0:06 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the salon purpose podcast. If you are a regular listener, you may have noticed I did not have an episode out last week. And I just thank you for your graciousness in me taking that break. 0:22 If you are in the simple on purpose Facebook community group, you know why that I took that break, I had spent the weekend before at my parents house. And we were decluttering, this room in that house that was just stuffed full of boxes, and scrapbooking supplies and pictures and writings. And this isn't unusual for my childhood home to have boxes of stuff, particularly a room of boxes of stuff. And this was just a process that we as a family had been planning on doing. Since my mother went into care in December with dementia, we knew that we wanted to start addressing these areas in the house that were built up that we could just kind of sort through it, see what's there, start honoring what's there and just makes use of the space a little bit better. 1:08 So I went with my siblings and my dad and we went through things box by box item by item, it was a lot of sorting, I would definitely put an emphasis on the ability to sort is key to good decluttering. But it was also hard. It was also healing, it was hard it brought us together, I think. And you know, that's just something that I felt like I had a lot in my head a lot in my heart. And I just wanted to take last week off and give myself the space to unpack that on my own. Without adding more to my plate. 1:42 You might also know that I work a couple of days a week with the local health authority. And then I have coaching in school on top of that, that I also do. So my weeks do feel very full. I do feel like my simple slow life has definitely been up ended a little bit this year for a lot of very purposeful things that I want to be working on. 2:05 Anyways, if you want to message me privately, if you are wondering about decluttering if you're wondering also about having a parent with dementia, and you have specific questions on that, I'm thinking about maybe doing an episode on that if people have questions.

We hear a lot about the mental burden that moms carry. We have so many things on our minds about all the people and all the things that need to happen PLUS all the things we want to be doing for ourselves too. It is a weighty mental load that we are carrying around. I want to talk about a concept that will help you see some ways you can lighten this mental load. The concept is decision fatigue, which is the overwhelm we feel from having to make so many decisions in our day. And if you pay attention, you will notice how almost every moment we have another decision to make about what to eat, how to respond, how to spend our time, how to act, what to do next. And by the end of the day, we are exhausted by it. I want to talk about practical ways to manage decision fatigue, so it is one less contributor to your mental load as a mom. In this episode we cover: Three ways that having too many choices impacts us and our satisfaction The three ways we respond to too many choices How struggling with making decisions impacts our view of ourselves and our capabilities One guiding principle to deal with decision fatigue Practical ways to put that into action Helping our kids with decision fatigue Why deciding ahead of time is more proactive Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Links The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwarz The Paradox of Choice TEDTalk The Life on Purpose Workbook Homemaker, on Purpose Family rhythms A Simple Hack to Make Meal Planning Easy Moms 30for30 (wearing 30 items of clothes for 30 days) How having fewer clothes makes my life easier Tips for putting outfits together Planning your day (for moms) What Happened When I Took Away Half of My Kids’ Toys Practical Advice For Purging Kids’ Toys Decluttering with kids FREE MINIGUIDE The Live Your Values FREE WORKSHEETS The Live Your Vision FREE WORKSHEETS SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK The very funny Instagram account I like to follow is Hayley Morris. Her skits of Me vs My Brain are so simple and clever and show so many great examples of our mental drama A fave skit from her: Calling to book a haircut FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:06 Hey Friends Welcome to simple and purpose podcast I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach. And I am a mom of three, practical minimalist, a life coach helping women live their lives on purpose. I'm also the author because I don't say this often enough, you guys are like what you have a book, I have the like on purpose workbook, and the homemaker on purpose book. And that homemaker on purpose book, it isn't about baking bread, and embroidering tea towels, neither of which I have skills to do. But it is about taking the mental drama out of housework, and learning to create simple habits that help you take care of your home. 0:43 So here we talk a lot about mental drama, because we are just walking around with our mind full swirling with thoughts and ideas and errands and tasks and feelings and avoidance of feelings. So our mental life is happening and our mental life matters. Because what's happening up there in our mental life, it seeps into how we feel and how we act. And there's a lot of our mental life that does run under the radar, this is called the subconscious or I just call it the autopilot. We might not even realize I didn't have that mental load, we're carrying that stress and anxiety until something happens. And we just snap, it's just gone too far. Or we just burst into tears. And we realize, oh, I've been carrying that all day. 1:32 And I know we've heard a lot lately about the mental load the mental burden for moms, we think about all of the things that we need to remember and pay attention to and do and the things that aren't being done. And it's just a lot to be carrying in our minds th...

There is a type of clutter we ALL have in our home. It is identity clutter - you know those items that for someone we are not - but rather for different versions of ourselves: our past self, our aspirational self, our socially-compliant self, and our test self. I walk you through these four types of identity clutter, how they challenge our sense of self and what we can learn from them. Make sure to get the download worksheet of the four types and clutter questions you can ask to help you decide what to do with the identity clutter. What is identity clutter? Identity clutter are things in our home that are Who we used to be (past self) Who we wish we could be (aspirational self) Who others think we should be (socially-compliant self) Who we think we are, but we aren’t sure, probably just following a trend (test self) How do trends contribute to identity clutter? A lot of our identity clutter comes from trying out trends. And it makes sense that we, as humans, would follow trends. There is safety in being part of the community, there is a sense of status we can display, and we are looking to others to inform us on what is socially acceptable. However, the more we move from trend to trend, the less we actually take time to get to know who we are and what we like BEYOND the trends. The physical burden of identity clutter The more obvious problem that identity clutter causes us is the use of space. The more space we give to storing these items, the less space we have for living our life. The important question to consider here is: how do I WANT to use my space? This should also be an intentional and purposeful decision. The emotional burden of identity clutter Whenever we see these items stored in our home, we are constantly reminded of who we AREN'T being. It can cause feelings like shame, or loss, or guilt, or frustration. It can also cause overwhelm because it adds to the list of options of how we should spend our time and the person we should be. It can cause decision fatigue if a very subtle way. When to declutter the identity clutter? In my experience with decluttering, it happens in waves. We start with the low hanging fruit, the hard 'no's. As we come back to these spaces from time to time, we keep refining and editing down from the bad/good to the ok/good then to the good/great. The identity clutter, sentimental items and items we think are valuable are ones we often leave until a later stage as they require more examination and thought. Episode 90 covers the items that have us asking 'what if I need this one day?' Why is identity clutter hard to get rid of? Each of these versions of 'us' can be hard to let go of. From mourning our past selves, to honouring our upbringing and all the 'stuff' that comes with that, to acknowledging the parts of our aspirational selves we are ready to let go of. You can listen to the When Shopping Isn't Making Your Life Better episode for more on the motivation behind our 'trend' self. Each of these types of Identity Clutter brings along its own need to learn from, accept and integrate the lessons this item of clutter has taught us. Make sure to get the free download to help you walk through questions for each type of identity clutter, and decide what to do about it. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK This simple pleasure is a shout out to all the cold Canadians who are on their first days of Fall. This heated shawl gets me through the colder months. It is also my go-to when I have a migraine or when my kids want a little extra comfort while sick. Full Transcript (unedited) 0:07 Welcome to the podcast, where I aim to keep all of the episodes 20 minutes or less, so that we can squeeze in these virtual coffee dates,

We all feel this sense of 'ideal self' that we want to be moving towards. It is safe to assume a lot of us desire some change on some level in some area of our lives. But we need to consider what change will cost us. We can't ever change if we aren't willing to make some kind of investment in it. Seeing where we need to make an INVESTMENT in the change we want This episode started out with me wanting to share on INBOX ZERO, but the issue became about the TIME it would take to accomplish inbox zero This brings up the issue of making an upfront investment in the change we want for later in our life. We want to make changes As I have worked to live my life 'on purpose' (intentional living), it meant making a lot of change in my life. And in almost every coaching session I have, I am working with someone on a change they want to make: change in relationships, in approach, in time management, in how they handle their health, etc. But we need to be mindful of how easy we expect it to be. DO WE WANT CHANGE? YES WHEN DO WE WANT IT? WHEN IT IS EASY! Maintaining the status quo gets us more of the same Our daily lives are being run to maintain what we are already doing. So, we can almost predict what our future will be like based on what our status quo is right now. We will get more of the same. Changing your life doesn't have to be a huge overhaul There is a famous Mel Robbins quote "the cost of your new life is your old one" and that always averted me from change. Sounds too big, no thank you. My approach to change has been making small changes over time. And I really believe that making small investments over time can change your whole life (I share all about this right here) What will change cost us? How will we pay for it? When I talk about investing in change, the cost of change, I am talking about using your AVAILABLE resources. These are the resources we all have available to us in some way: our time, our physical energy, our emotional energy, our space, our money. I talk about managing these resources in the Simplify Your Life Series Remeber, this is hard because we have to learn the skill of showing up for ourselves. When we invest in changing our life, it becomes 'you working for you'. I talk more about this skill in this episode: Do you trust yourself to show up for you When we want an easy life I wanted an easy life, so I always did the 'easy things'. Turns out I had that wrong. If I wanted an easy life later, I had to do the hard thing now. I had to make some upfront investments and pay the cost now. Discomfort either way, which one will you choose It can be freeing and humbling to realize: You are uncomfortable where you are, in the status quo Change will be uncomfortable, and maybe unfamiliar But the choice of which discomfort you choose is up to you. Over these past few episodes, I have been challenging you to get #uncomfortableonpurpose. I hope you keep tagging me on Instagram to share this and come share it in the Facebook community group. Quote by Dean Koontz: “Change isn't easy... changing the way you live means changing what you believe about life. That's hard... When we make our own misery, we sometimes cling to it even when we want so bad to change because the misery is something we know. The misery is comfortable.” If you want to sign up for the Making Change Challenge, you can do that right here. SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK The library apps to get books, audiobooks and magazines. The Overdrive App The Libby App IG accounts I like for book ideas are @thislibrarianisreading and @read.write.janis Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Books Referenced Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

Feel like you are shopping too much? Want to bring a minimalist approach and mindset into how you shop? Every season we seem to be bombarded with the latest fashion trends - a marketing strategy that fast fashion uses to get us to keep buying all the latest colours and patterns. I know I feel like I need to buy a new wardrobe each season and need to remind myself of everything I already DO have in my closet. In this episode, I will talk about WHY we shop, how to know when it is causing a problem for you and how to bring a mindful and minimal approach into your shopping. Make sure to get the free downloads that go with this episode, right here Why it feels good to shop The neurochemical payoff In her great book Tame Your Anxiety by Loretta Breuning outlines the neurochemicals we like to get (serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine). I share my view on how I think we get each of these neurochemicals from shopping. Control and choice Shopping is also something we can turn to feel in control, which is a desirable feeling for many of us. Avoidance strategy Many of us can turn to shopping when we want to 'feel better', or also to say when we don't want to feel the negative or uncomfortable things we are facing. This is like emotional eating, we can emotion shop. Many coaches call this a buffer (a term coined by Brooke Castillo), the things we turn to for distraction from feeling poor. When shopping isn't making our lives better Years ago I started decluttering my home and it hit me how much my shopping habits had contributed to the state of my home. I could see that I had spent a lot of my 20s buying things that I thought I needed to be a credible adult. I had accumulated so much by using shopping as entertainment and by shopping by reaction more than intention. It caused a problem for me because I could see that I had a home full of stuff that was a substitute for what I really wanted things I 'thought' I needed things I thought we 'me' but turned out to be identity clutter How to know when you are shopping too much Shopping in itself isn't a bad thing or a negative activity. Shopping can be fun! Often it is how we meet a lot of our needs and create the life we want. Something things to consider to know if you are shopping too much is its impact on the different areas of your life. Shopping may be a problem for you if you notice a negative impact on your relationship, your finances, your space, your ability to be present, or your own sense of integrity. Bringing a minimalist approach to shopping The work starts before you even go shopping or load up the online store. To bring a minimalist mindset into shopping, you will want to only buy what you need and love. A strategy that is really helpful here is to start with an inventory of what is already in your home. You can avoid bringing in a lot of unnecessary items when you 'shop your home' and see all the inventory you already have. Being mindful about how you shop It is important to shop with intention rather than reaction. Having a plan when you shop can keep you on task here, make a list of the items you are specifically looking for. I unpack some powerful, mindful questions you can ask yourself WHILE shopping. You can get a download of these questions to keep on your phone right here. Get in touch You can find the Simple Squad (our community on Facebook) right here. Send me a message or tag me on Instagram @simpleonpurpose.ca Full Episode Transcript (Unedited) 0:18 And on this podcast, I share ways that you can simplify your home, simplify your heart and simplify your life. And I want to talk about getting rid of distractions and clutter in those areas, helping you identify what you're keeping what's important what you value, and show up for that. Simplify and show up. So today we're going to talk about shopping. So how did you for me right now,

I challenged you to get uncomfortable this week. Now I want to dig into doing simple things that serve a bigger purpose. Giving your discomfort a purpose to work towards the vision and goals you have for your life. I want to break it down, keep it simple, and encourage you to drop your all-or-nothing mindset. This past weekend I did another Abundance Day (aka Yes Day) with my kids. Last year I did this and shared my takeaways in this episode "I let my kids do whatever they wanted all day" Discomfort on purpose Last week I shared how we are building lives of comfort but discomfort can serve a purpose. In the episode, I shared my own experiences with this and challenged you to do something uncomfortable ON PURPOSE (#uncomfortableonpurpose) I love to hear what you are working on (on Instagram and in the Facebook group) Let's build on the purpose we can give our discomfort There is value in going out of your comfort zone, practicing that, and growing your tolerance for feeling uncomfortable There is also value in the empowerment and drive we get when we are working towards something we really want. If we call it a goal, does that have a stigma for you? Do you feel like 'goal' is corporate and stuffy? Or maybe you feel like a goal will uphaul your whole life and bring failure and disappointment with it. The truth is that we have good reasons to NOT set a goal There are benefits that we get by staying where we are and not doing the work of setting a goal. Some of them include never challenging what we believe about ourselves, never needing to face discomfort, never having to figure it out, or do the work of showing up! Remember that a goal won't make you a 'better' person We do have this invisible hierarchy of what makes people superior. We kinda secretly think that someone who sets goals and follows through (or looks a certain way or has certain things) is somehow a 'better person'. Let's throw these measuring sticks into the bonfire. You don't need a goal to be a worthy person. Maybe goals feel like an emotional burdern, so how about the idea of 'giving your brain a job' Our brain is running in the background solving the negative problems we have told it to focus on (problem-minded). We have trained our brains to do this. How about we give our brain the job of solving some positive problems (solution-minded). Give your brain a job, call it a goal if you want Either way, consider what the bigger purpose is for what you want to work towards. If you feel like you don't really know what you want in your life, use these free worksheets Live your vision worksheets Live your values worksheets Or use the Life on Purpose Workbook In this episode I cover: The good reasons we have to NOT set a goal How we train our brain to be problem minded Examples of simple goals you can set this week How to get started with a simple purpose this week (even if you never download the worksheets or get the workbook) Practicing the ART OF goals and discomfort Showing up for one, simple thing Small things can change your whole life How to address all or nothing thinking How starting small makes us more successful in the long-run Join in with us Share your #uncomfortableonpurpose achievements with us Tag me on Instagram, use the hashtag, share in the Facebook group (make sure to answer those entry Qs!) Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. The simple pleasure of the week I do love skincare and makeup and have tried a ton of moisturizers. I have found a face oil that is super affordable, has basic ingredients, simple packaging and it WORKS on my oilier skin too. If you have oilier skin, you might like to use the Oil Cleansing Method (I've been doing it for about 8 years now)

I love comfort (#typeninevibes) and I know that a lot of my comfort-seeking is more the AVOIDANCE of discomfort. I don't want to be uncomfortable. What things make you uncomfortable? For me they have been things like: Taking my small kids out in public Working on the conflicts in my marriage Exercise Getting up in the mornings Doing dishes Decluttering and organizing my home Seeing my kid struggle or be upset Go to a social event I was nervous about Sitting with all the stress and anxiety I felt about motherhood and life Paying attention to how my body was feeling No matter how simple these may seem, they were things I was avoiding because they were uncomfortable. But staying in what felt COMFORTABLE was coming at a cost. What does 'staying where we are' cost us? It has a cost to our relationships, to our health, to the state of our home. This complacency costs us something. When we realize what we have traded for comfort, it can make us feel shame. When my eyes were opened to what my comfort was costing me I felt like something was wrong with me. I needed to 'do better' and 'be better'. The first step was letting go of the shame I felt about this. Then I had to make a plan what I wanted to do about it. I decided I needed to TAKE ACTION. Then I realized there were myths I believed about being Someone Who Takes Action. Myths like: it is easy, it comes naturally, it feels good, it feels motivating. I realized that taking action felt very UNcomfortable Listen in to this episode to hear: Why do we seek comfort The cost of seeking comfort A mindset shift to help you take action The purpose of discomfort Building your tolerance for discomfort Ways I made myself uncomfortable, on purpose A CHALLENGE to join in this month Links mentioned in this episode: Making motherhood harder than it needs to be Live your values worksheets Live your vision worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook Small things can change your whole life The Simple on Purpose Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram Use the hashtag #uncomfortableonpurpose SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK Is FIKA - the Swedish tradition of taking a coffee break, emphasis on the break part. At the heart of it is a slowing down and truly breaking. FIKA often includes coffee, a sweet treat, and a good conversation. But it can also be done solo as well. I love to FIKA at my home with coffee, a treat, and staring out the window at trees. We live in a culture of BUSY and it can be a badge of honour to never stop and rest. But we know that we do BETTER WORK when we are rested. Even as a mom you can FIKA. Over the years I have told my kids 'mom is on a coffee break' and I sit down to pause and slow down for a minute. Full episode transript (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from sublime purpose.ca. place for you if you feel like clutter, motherhood, relationships, life, like it seems so overwhelming. And if you are finding that you go about your day to day with some kind of resentment or frustration, this is a sign you've been living on autopilot, just letting life happen at you, instead of living it on purpose with your own purpose. So thank you for being here. I am a certified coach practitioner, transformational life coach, and I use the enneagram faith if you want that included, and the cognitive behavioral therapy model as tools that I bring into my life coaching approach. I teach moms all around the world, the tools they need to set out the life they want their life on purpose. And that means knowing your vision, where do you want to go? What you want to be building, and knowing your values, what matters a long way. And whether you're doing this with me through coaching through the life on purpose workbook listening to these podcasts. I'm so happy you're here.

Looking for ways to have more fun in motherhood and BE more fun as a mom? I have asked myself this question too. Inside of our FB Group - Simple on Purpose Community, there comes a great question. The question was in essence, I can DO fun things with my kids, take them to swim, skate, and stuff, but how do I HAVE fun with my kids? How do I BE fun? In this episode, I’m going to elaborate on how I responded to that question. When motherhood becomes too serious and the fun mom you once were disappears into the background, it’s time to take an honest look at the things that are stealing the fun. These days, there’s a lot of pressure on us to be both extremely involved and the perfect amount of detached. And while we were thinking about how to manage everything, there is one thing we seem to be missing — FUN. We are all different types of moms, we all have different values we want to bring into motherhood. And let’s be real — sometimes we are in no mood for fun. If fun is one of those values you want to be working on, don’t miss this opportunity to learn some tips and ideas on how to make things more fun as a mom. In This Episode You’ll Learn: What are the things that make life UNFUN [ 02:18 ] The TOP TWO hurdles to having FUN [ 04:27 ] Some ways and ideas on how to become a FUN mom [ 07:17 ] Why FUN is a personal value [ 14:00 ] Feature In this Episode: Join our Facebook Group When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 47. My husband’s take on setting vision and goals together 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it. 112. Are you parenting the wrong issue? (Power struggles and problem-solving) Mothering Through Anxiety 46. Listening to your life (part 3 of SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE) Spotify playlist: Kitchen Dance Party Stay Connected with Shawna: Instagram / Facebook Get in touch: shawna@simpleonpurpose.ca / Get Coached EPISODE TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca and welcome to the Simepl on Purpose podcast. For those of you who are new here, welcome. I'm so glad that you're joining us. I'm Shawna, I'm a mom of three kids right now they are 10, nine and seven. Living in small town, Canada. I am a minimalist, who discovered intentional living, that's living life on purpose, and is also something that I've been life coaching women or women all over the world who want to live with more purpose, peace, presence, and passion. Let's talk about the passion today, let's talk about having fun with our life. Specifically, being a more fun mom enjoying motherhood enjoying your kids. And this is funny, because I had a whole bunch of different episodes half drafted, I keep this running list of all the ideas that there's never a shortage of them. But I didn't really feel like I wanted to talk much about anything in particular. And then this question came into the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community group. And I thought that is what I want to talk about. The question was, in essence, I can do fun things with my kids, like, take them fun places, swimming, that kind of stuff. But how do I have fun with my kids? How do I be fun? And if you've heard over the years, I've shared that there was a time where it hit me, I don't enjoy my kids anymore. I'm not enjoying them. And it kind of hit me with this huge conviction that I want to change this, I don't like how this feels. And I spent the year actively enjoying my kids. I'll link to that post in the show notes if you want to go read it. And since that time, I have made fun one of my parenting values over the years. So every year, we set out mostly may not always Connor. But sometimes we set out our vision and values for the different areas of our life.

It’s back to school time! Are you ready? I know we have been enjoying the slow pace of summer and will need to put ourselves back on schedule to make back to school run more smoothly. Over the years we have developed routines that we rely on in our school and workweek. I want to share our three favourites with you as you think about how you want to start out this new school year as a family. How routines help our kids and us for school days We can rely on routines to get stuff done. It gives us the momentum and predictability and these habits set for us. I know what’s going to happen, and the kids know what to expect. There's less drama over making transitions or how the kids are spending their time. If you have a kid who struggles with anxiety, knowing their part of the routine helps relieve a lot of that anxiety. How to make routines more effective Introduce this system to your family, and coach them by creating that as a habit, reminding them repeatedly. Give our kids reminders that are gentle and not heavy, hard and serious. Do not be a bear about it. I shared some more about how routines help in the episode on family Saturday morning chores Our routines in the morning We make our lunches the night before school. The kids pack their lunch with a template we gave them. We give enough time in the morning knowing how much time everything needs to be done. The kids dress themselves and pack their bags. Start leaving 10 minutes before we think we have to go. This gives buffer, so you don’t feel rushed or panicky in case something unexpected comes up. After school routine Before the kids come home, I give myself a pep talk about what kind of mom I want to show up. As the mom, that is a safe landing place for big feelings and frustrations accumulated throughout the day. For the kids, it’s to hang up their backpacks, put their papers on the counter, put their lunch dishes in the sink, wash their hands. Give them a snack or have them finish their lunch if they didn’t. Things to remember when you build routines Routines take time to build like any habit, so you want to be gentle with you and gentle with the kids. Keep showing up consistently for what feels important. Start as you mean to go. Start treating them how you want to be treating them in the long term. Want to bring in some routines to your week? Try the Family Rhythms worksheets SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK This month I went on a getaway with three of my mombesties. For some years now we try to get away for a couple of nights, or at least a nice dinner. This time we went to a cheap motel, walked around, ate good food, had a little shopping and a little wine. My fave part was going to an afternoon movie the second day and then being in bed with us all reading by 930pm But really I think the pleasure is just being with your friends, especially without kids. It is so special to spend time with your friends (date your friends) and I think it helps you fall in love with them even more/again. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT Today, I want to talk about routines. We are getting back into school. And it's got me thinking about the routines that we pick up when school starts, I know that summer feels like our mornings, I've just been getting slower and longer and more drawn out. It's harder for me to get actually getting going in the morning because there's just kind of this wide open space that summer offers us. So I'm gearing up myself to start waking up a little bit earlier in giving myself a little mental pep talks about getting into action earlier in the morning routines. routines are very important. I think someone like me, like a type nine, we can rely on routines to actually get stuff done, we need that momentum, and that predictability and those habits set for us. I know I also like routines with my kids, because I know what's going to happen.

How did your summer go? Anything you wish you that you did more of or less of? Today I have a PROMPT episode for you - where I will prompt you through some helpful questions that I hope will help you live more intentionally. Specifically, having a summer on PURPOSE. So let's take a minute to stop and reflect on the ways you want to improve next summer by noting what you learned from THIS summer. I share a bit of my story about having my kids close together in age learning I had the CHOICE to declutter and facing the basement of shame. wanting to live ON PURPOSE and let go of complacency becoming a life coach who walks other women through living with more peace, purpose, and presence in their lives THIS IS A PROMPT EPISODE The power of a prompt You take the time to slow down and access your PFC (prefrontal cortex), the part of your brain associated with long term planning and rational decision making You ask your brain a really good question You tap into the answers that are there within you, rather than looking for external solutions and ideas The power of an evaluation You use what you have learned recently to make your life better (before you forget all the good things you learned!) You give this information a home, so you can come back to it later when you need it You are improving things little by little How to use an evaluation I use evaluations for special trips and holidays. This is why I added it to the Simple Christmas Planner. I keep notes on what worked and what improvements can be made. I save them all in a google doc so I can search for them when the holiday season is back again. You can also put reminders in your calendar that pop up before the season and link them to your evaluation notes (whether in a doc, notes app, or right in the calendar reminder) The summer evaluation Let's reflect on this summer and consider what you have learned from it that you can bring into next summer. What was great about this summer? (What do you want to do again, what did you love, what was helpful, what mindsets were empowering?) What do you want to do differently next year? (What do you want more of/less of, what to plan/prepare, what do you want to try that you didn't this year, mindsets to remember) Make sure to set a reminder in your calendar to check your evaluation before break starts again next year! And there you go >> You used your past to make your future better

Procrastination is an avoidant strategy and there are so many layers to it, why we do it, how to redirect it, how to accept it, and so on. It is also something almost everyone does and something that can cause a lot of shame, especially for moms What is procrastination? It is putting something off for later. We all do it, everday. We put off phone calls and chores and errands. So how do we know if we simply PRIORITIZING our time and energy of it we are procrastinating? Why we procrastinate There is a reason that deep down it is preferable to us to put off the task. Some reasons might include overwhelm, avoidance, all or nothing perfectionism, or we deep down don't want to do it. How the brain responds to pending tasks The brain has three jobs: seek pleasure, avoid pain, stay efficient. When we have the thought about a task we 'should' do the brain responds inline with this criteria - will it produce pleasure or pain? does it require a lot of energy? Procrastination is not always a bad thing Sometimes procrastinating tasks can be a benefit. There are situations where it allows us to do better work, use the sense of urgency for energy, discover our true priorities, uncover some identity clutter we might have, and have less anxiety in the present. Three ways procrastination can be a problem: 1. Because of what we do instead of the 'task'. We most likley turn to non-essential, short-term gratification activities. These often become our 'bad habits'. 2. Because of what is NOT getting done. Whether we feel like this moves us further away from our 'ideal' self (and make sure you know what that is!), piles up the chores, or becomes a way we do our life. Episode 129 on Expectation Overwhelm Get the Live you VISION worksheets Get the Live your VALUES worksheets Get the Life on Purpose Workbook 3. Because of what we think it means about us. As we procrastinate we start to identify as a procrastinator (and usually this is loaded with shame and judgement). Then we start to live into this limiting identiy we have of ourselves. Three questions to help you deal with procrastination in your day Why do I want to avoid this task? Is this task important to my personal values and vision? Is this task a prioritiy TODAY? If yes, ask: what is one small step I can do to get started? If no, schedule it on the calendar and listen to episode 150 called Do You Trust Yourself to Show Up For You. Full transcript of the episode (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is a place where I share ideas that I hope will inspire you to slow down, think about what matters to you your personal values, and do the work of showing up well for that. Today, I wanted to talk about a topic that I have struggled with. I know a lot of us this is something I've googled myself on Pinterest over the years. And I think it's also a topic we can have a lot of shame around. And I'm I know, we're just going to scratch the surface on this on procrastination, because procrastination is an avoidance strategy. And there's so many layers to it, why we do it, how to redirect it, and accept it, and so on. So I hope that this episode will give you more understanding of what's happening mentally give you some more awareness, some more grace around it. And then I have at the end, some questions that are going to help you in the moment to deal with procrastination. What is procrastination, it is putting things off, I'll do it later. Or more accurately, it's a form of saying I won't do it right now. It's not gonna happen right now. And this is an issue that comes up in coaching because we have a stigma attached to it. Like somehow, if we are a person who procrastinates we're less of a quality person, we're less of an adult, we're less together.

When an actor is typecast, they are locked into being cast for a certain TYPE of character, always a version of the same thing. And as parents, we can typecast our own kids. We give them labels on what they are - difficult, athletic, flighty, dramatic. We can also give them seemingly positive labels - like smart, pretty, nice - and those can have impacts on them as well. I want to empower you with: awareness around the labels you might give your kids, how it can impact your parenting experience, how it can impact them, and what to do about it Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. Do you typecast your kids? Do you give them labels on who they are? We all do it, we label each kid. Especially when there are sets of siblings, we somehow have a need to categorize each of them like they are gang in a sitcom. Our labels are not facts We feel like our labels about our kids are true, but they are our opinions. We base these opinions on our experiences of them in the past. Then we have a judgement of them and our brain looks for evidence to build this into a belief We look for more proof of our label This is the confirmation bias (aka the Post-it note). Our brain is always looking for evidence it is true. In fact, our brain filters out information to the contrary. We build up more evidence and this belief gets very cemented. It is important to keep in mind that this label might be sometimes true, but also sometimes it is not true. We need to be open to seeing both. The impacts that labelling our kids might have on our parenting 1. We treat them differently based on this label How we do treat a kid we think is 'messy'? Do we step in and clean for them? Do we give up on trying to teach them how to clean up? It is important to get honest with ourselves about how we react to our kids from the expectations we have of them, according to the labels we have for them 2. We shape their self-concept Kids look to us to help them shape their self-concept. The more they hear it, the more they live into it, the more they believe it, the more they perpetuate it. Our labels will put them into a box of who they are and who they are not. 3. Positive labels can put a lot of pressure on our kids as well I coach women who also struggle with failing at the seemingly positive 'labels' they've been given over the years. It can cause a lot of pressure to sustain them, and shame when 'failed'. It can impact their growth mindset (see episode 49 on having a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset) How to handle the labels we give our kids 1. Recognize the labels you have been typecasting your kids with Acknowledge that they are hard to give up for them and us. 2. Separate your kids from the label Your kid is not their behaviour. Rather, everything they do is a decision and they are doing the work of getting good at making choices in their daily life. 3. Let them surprise you When we expect a pattern of behaviour from our kids, we perpetuate that. 4. Encourage and acknowledge without the limitations of labels Give them acknowledgement more than praise (focus on specific efforts) Encourage them with what they are struggling with Call them up with what you see in them, but leave it open for them to figure out how to apply it to their lives Trying lots of new things. Vary the social roles that our kids are exposed to (as noted in the book Personality isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy) 5. Leave room for error We have a lot of 'ideal human' standards that we want our kids to constantly (100%) meet. Give them space to make mistakes and not meet the standards, without the threat of discipline or shame. Because people (adults and children) are not 100% awesome, 100% of the time. 6. Leave room for change

I have been researching goals and habits since we started setting them in 2015. You can hear Conor share his take on doing this work as a couple in this episode. Over the years I have searched to the ends of Pinterest and tried a lot of strategies to create habits for myself. I was doing this work fueled by the notion that I had to become a morning person now that I was a mom. I was thinking that habits would make me the optimal human, efficient and productive. I have since learned to bring grace into it. Chase habits that make me feel purposeful rather than productive, and to set goals and habits in line with my personal vision for the areas of my life. Four simple habits that make my momlife better 1. Having vegetables for breakfast. This is part of my 'food uniform' that I try to have for breakfasts and lunches. What I used to eat was sweet and carby and I was feeling crappy and shaky after breakfast. Then I did the Whole30 (here are 11 things I learned doing the Whole30) and weaned myself off this type of breakfast. I've been gluten-free for a few years and had to put in the effort and planning to create new food habits I could have on autopilot. The difference I notice in having vegetables for breakfast with how I feel about myself and my approach towards my health. I used to go days without eating vegetables, now I get it done first thing every day. Why I love this habit: I feel proud about taking care of my health because of what I do first thing in the day. 2. Reading books instead of scrolling social media Years back I swapped this habit in a personal challenge I called One Small Habit. I swapped scrolling social media for reading on the library app. I have read so many books over the years since I did this. There are nights I still find myself on social media, but I can give myself a little bit of time and then redirect it to a good book. Why I love this habit: I want to be someone who reads a lot of books, this is the action that supports that 3. Pre-dinner clean up each day When my husband is working his week on, I follow this routine almost every afternoon: I do the dishes, clear tables, sweep floors, and make dinner. I used to be someone who avoided dishes and coached myself to become someone who can do the dishes without all the mental drama Having clear spaces in my home is something I aspire to. It helps me feel empowered and peaceful. However, we live here and use this space so I need to do the work of clearing the table a ROUTINE. This table clearing routine is something I ask the kids to do their part with too, so I don't become a martyr about it. I also have started looking forward to this time of day because I will put in headphones and listen to a podcast that I enjoy. Why I love this habit: Fewer dishes for me later, and I get to listen to a podcast 4. Taking a day of rest (and social media break) Sundays are our church and chill days. I have been working intentionally at taking a day of rest, as a mom I think this is so important (as I unpacked on this episode). Taking a day of rest is something I crave but is also something that challenges me to sacrifice the need to be productive. I make a point to choose activities that make me feel filled up (you know, hobbies!) Screen time is something I limit on this day as well. I go off social media on Sundays. I have been noticing how automatic I can find myself jumping on social media, and taking this day of rest has helped me with becoming more mindful about my relationship with social media Why I love this habit: I am making time for my hobbies, I am learning more about my relationship to my phone, I give myself the grace to rest and feel better about the week ahead. Doing a check-in on my vision, goals, and habits This process of making this episode allowed me to refresh myself on the habits I had written down for myself this year.

Andrea is a Registered Dietician who is here to talk with me about our relationship to food and teaching our kids a healthy relationship with food I also had a secret motive in asking her on because I had questions about how to handle food with my kids. I know I’m undoing a lot of cultured rules, how I was raised, my own biases, and I want to be mindful about how I teach my kids, especially my daughter, about the health of food without the food guilt or body shame. In this conversation we will cover: Common struggles that women have when it comes to their relationship with food Emotional eating can be a common situation that happens in motherhood The ‘diet culture’ pressure that moms have to ‘drop the weight’ can lead to restrictive and unsustainable approaches to food Using food to manage our emotions (my own experience with emotional eating in motherhood) Using food as a way to control our bodies Healing a heritage of food guilt and body shame We know enough about attachment to know that our sense of worth and self is shaped by our caregivers Unpacking the decades of guilt and shame we have adopted Starting with some basic food plans and dropping all the food rules and restrictions Seeing the cycle where the more restrictions we give ourselves, the bigger the struggle of cravings and willpower, the stronger the guilt we feel when we eat what we ‘shouldn’t’ Building up trust in your body again The role of being a mom who is managing food for herself and for everyone else The positive side of emotional eating vs the coping side of emotional eating Being a role model for our kids when it comes to a healthy relationship with food Feeding your family a variety of foods and letting go of all or nothing thinking Taking the drama out of feeding our kids Consider the role you want to have in feeding your kids and the role you want them to learn and become confident in Anxiety and stress at the dinner table can become counterproductive to the whole dinner experience for the whole family How we can let our kids branch out on their own when it comes to food preferences The pitfalls of cooking different people different food items each dinner, becoming a short order cook Going through the discomfort of changing the culture of cooking each kid their own foods for each meal Using dessert as bribery (food as a reward) and what we might be teaching our kids about the ‘preferred’ foods Getting kids involved in the food preparation and planning Conversations around balancing meals Letting each kid design a balanced meal Parents using food as a reward Using food as a treat, reward, bond, make the day more ‘fun’ Phasing out the treats and bringing in alternate rewards and treats Planning out the other things you can turn to that are fun for your family Teaching our kids about a healthy relationship with food How to have conversations with our kids about food without inducing food shame Shifting the focus on the functionality of health and food Using treat restrictions vs no restrictions Owning our own relationship with food to create a positive food culture in our family Getting started with shifting your family’s food culture Start small Make a plan Don’t overcomplicate meal prep (use the shortcuts!) Offer healthy options and let your kids decide how much they eat Phase-out using food as rewards Find Andrea and Adventures in Feeding my Fam Andrea’s blueberry and corn salad Find Andrea on Instagram, listen to her podcast, join her Facebook group (it is a very fun and valuable one!) Other posts you might like What I learned from doing the Whole30 Mindful eating for moms

This is a Q+A episode featuring questions from the Simple Squad (the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community). We are talking about feelings, marriage, seasons of life, parenting and family chores. These answers are coming at you from my life coaching point of view. I am a mom of three kids, trained Life Coach, practical minimalist, and I help moms with intentional living. Questions covered in this episode: 1. Can you talk about the seasons of life and how we can't do certain things at certain seasons? Related posts with more information on this topic Simplify your life series All posts about Mom Life Expectation overwhelm 2. How do I change my parenting style when my husband is not on board or how can I get him on board...? Related posts with more information on this topic: When your spouse doesn't want to declutter Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) Book review: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 3. Meeting adult friends when you have little kids Related posts with more information on this topic: Being a good mom friend Why you should date your friends 4. How to choose your feelings (eg. when you are annoyed at your husband but want to feel kind)? Related posts with more information on this topic: Being mindful in marriage Working through a bad mood with one question My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn't care about me Myths about emotion coaching Tolerating tough emotions in ourselves and our kids 5. What is a good system for taking turns with family chores and duties? Related posts with more information on this topic: Saturday morning chores Doing chores you don't want to do A Year of Family meetings 6. How to handle bullying in school? FULL TRANSCRIPT For those of you who are new here I am Shawna, I am a mom of three kids, they are 10, nine and going to be seven soon. I am a practical minimalist. So we have stuff in our house, but it's the stuff we like the best. I talk about intentional living, which means turning off that autopilot, and planning and doing things on purpose, to build the life you want on purpose. I also talk about simple living, which means managing our resources or time or space, or energy or money working on that one in ways that are in line with our values instead of trying to do all of the things do the important things, and you get to decide what's important. Today, I'm going to be answering some questions. So I often make myself a calendar of all the episodes I want to record over the next few months and share. And sometimes I look at a topic and I'm like I don't really feel like talking about. So this is one of those weeks, and I asked with a Facebook group, the simple on purpose community there. I call them the simple squad. I asked them for some topics that they would like to hear about, and they just had some really great topics that I thought I'm going to try and just answer them all in one episode. So I'm going to give my best nerdy girlfriend and life coach answer to these questions. And if at the end, you feel like you have more questions or thoughts or want more clarity, bring it over to the Facebook group. The first topic is to reflect on the seasons of life, and how sometimes you're not able to do certain things in certain times, I really like to consider my life as being a series of seasons, because that helps ease up the pressure of feeling like it's gonna be like this forever. I remember when I had my first baby, and I'm like, in my house code on the couch, and I thought, I'm just gonna live on my couch forever, I'm going to become my coach, the coach is going to swallow me, I'll be like another coach. This is my life now. So I really like to step back from all of that mental drama, and remind myself like, it's not gonna be like this forever. I think of some of the seasons I had have had in...

Expectation overwhelm is when you have a to-do list that is so long that it overwhelms you. This starts a defeating cycle of hustling, beating ourselves up for not doing 'enough', and not really feeling empowered to live a life of purpose. Feeling productive and the beliefs we have about how we spend our time Coach women a lot on productivity and procrastination They feel like they can’t get things done in the day They want to be better at getting things done. And it is the same issue on both ends of the spectrum - they are about how we FEEL about how we spend our time. Did we FEEL we were productive? did we FEEL they procrastinated? Remember our FEELINGS come from our thoughts. So the story we tell ourselves about how we have used our time is going to matter. It will change our experience of how we use our time. What is expectation overwhelm? Expectation overwhelm is when we have such a long 'should do' list that it constantly overwhelms us. We walk around thinking something is wrong with us that we can't tackle. We think we need more willpower and discipline. We also get frustrated with everyone around us and might even blame them (check out the mom martyr episode) Some signs that you might have expectation overwhelm: you find it hard to relax for a minute in your day you feel like everything is rushed you feel overwhelmed even though you generally get things done you check things off your list but still feel like it’s never enough What do we do with the overwhelm we feel? In my experience in coaching, and personal experience. WE do one of two things. We try harder or we tune it out. Both of these make us feel even worse about our skills and discipline. Both of these move us further away from the simple and purposeful life we are craving. The options should be optional We make a mental 'should' do list with all the expectations we have ourselves in a day. But we tell ourselves this list is mandatory and then we tell ourselves we are inadequate for not fulfilling them all We are meant to make choices This is something that minimalism has taught me. I don't have ROOM for all these things. I also don't have time and energy for all these things. I need to choose. But making choices can be very intimidating for a lot of us. We think it means a long-term commitment. We also still secretly hold out for that secret we need to unlock our ability to do ALL THE THINGS! Trade-in productivity for purpose I think most of us want to feel productive, but we live in a society that tells us we need to do DO IT ALL AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT. I would argue that most of us do not want to be productivity robots - but that we actually want to slow down and live the life that we crave. We want to let go of never feeling like we are enough, and make more time and energy for the things that fill us up. Know what you want in your life The Live your Vision worksheets The Live your Values worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook Get life coaching If you want coaching support with letting go of expectations and getting focussed on what you DO want to make time and energy for, then sign up for a consult call to see if you are interested. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission. SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK I will tell you it is about kiddie pools and water blasters, but it is about more than that. It is about tradition and having fun, and being a kid with your kids. This is the XL doggie pool that we use as a kiddie pool And these are the type of water blasters that we are loving in our home. Here is the grad shirt idea. Make sure to join the Simple on Purpose Facebook community group to share your thoughts, questions, and ideas with the Simple Squad there. FULL TRANSCRIPT Hey friends,

Do you struggle in your relationship to getting dressed each day? Do you feel guilty for it, or lack confidence in it? Jaime McLaughlin is a hair and make-up artist who is helping moms take care of themselves without the mom guilt. In this episode we talk about the internal shifts we can make, the judgments we might have of ourselves and other moms based on what they wear, busting myths around how much money and time it takes to get ready each day, and tips to build a capsule wardrobe Using the ‘tool’ of getting dressed every day Contesting the views that this is vanity vs a tool to help our personal motivation in our day Considering the areas of our life that we try to sacrifice on the altar of motherhood Challenging our self-perception and the ‘rules’ we give ourselves on what we wear or don’t wear Making your outcome whatever you want it to be and working backward Aligning with your personal values as you work on getting ready each day Reasons many stay at home moms have that we don’t get ready each day I don’t have the time I never leave the house I just don’t do it, I don’t get ready Finding our value and worth as a stay at home mom Making a mental shift before we try to make an outward shift We don’t just want to get dressed to ‘look good’ but we want to FEEL good Empowering one another to NOT use how we dress as a reason to judge ourselves and other moms There can be separations and assumptions we make on how moms dress, and we can categorize moms based on what they wear vs what we wear. Considering the image we want to present to the world with what we wear Moving from judgment into curiosity about what other moms could be going through Watching where you might be judging moms who are a hot mess vs judging moms who are NOT a hot mess Society tells us what a mom ‘should’ look like Mom does not have to equal hot mess, crappy clothes, etc. We get to decide what it looks like to be ‘a mom’ We don’t need to be a victim to our days and motherhood Taking ownership of wearing what we WANT to wear and letting go of the myth that we are 'too much' Letting go of the myth that in order to look good we need to spend a lot of money Fast fashion tells us that we need to spend all the money, every season, to have the trendy clothes of the season. Consider if fashion is something you value and want to spend money on and then making that happen It is important to have the perspective that the online influencers sharing 'style' we follow are not buying their own clothes but are given them by stores Building a capsule wardrobe A capsule wardrobe is a great way to be mindful of the money we spend on clothes and 'how much' we need to have in our closet Starting with core pieces, knowing your colours, and building a wardrobe you can mix and match and put outfits together Key points on being a mom who gets dressed every day When you wear what makes you feel good this shifts your mental state and motivation Getting dressed doesn't have to take long, or be expensive Learn the techniques to dress and don't worry so much about the trends There is NOTHING WRONG with saying 'I want to look good' When we spend the time and energy on ourselves we actually think about ourselves a lot less during the day Links to Jaime and her resources UNFRUMP YOURSELF a free masterclass to take care of yourself each day without the mom guilt MACHOUSECO.COM the 7 Day Hair Care Routine The Unfiltered Motherhood Podcast other links on style and getting dressed Practice getting dressed A recovering fashion wallflower The moms30for30 Tips for a capsule wardrobe

When we think about being home with the kids for the summer there can be a lot to dread AND be excited about in this season. I have found my way out of that mental overwhelm is to make a plan on what what I DO want my summer to be. Over the years of planning our seasons as a family, we have developed an approach that helps us stay flexible, work around the hurdles and show up even on hard days. I want to share the main points with you here. This episode has a companion workbook that takes you step by step through planning out the summer that you and your family want to have. Get your Summer on Purpose Workbook here. Planning your days, as a mom I have found so much value in having a plan on what we will do. I started planning when I was home with my babies and have been loving the benefits ever since. My kids even asked me to schedule their days for them during isolation, and I shared how that went here. Why should a mom make a plan? To feel in control, rather than scramble for it last minute To make room for the important things to happen - balance - proactive To have some stability - for us and our kids - we know what is happening and what we need to expect and prepare for To take ownership - don’t let summer just happen AT you To have FUN! We want to ENJOY summer So often we hear the countdown of 'how many summers we have left with our kids'. And this can make us a little panicky inside. I want to approach summer with intention and abundance. Declutter the mental overwhelm of summer Ask what you feel EXPECTED to do, by culture, society, Instagram Ask what feels hard about summer as a mom? I have a list: The mornings where they get stir crazy but I’m not ready to head out Feeding everyone healthy snacks Getting work done Sibling spats - those have broken my brain in the past The energy I tell myself I will need to give them activities and adventures How will I handle screentime I need to really brain dump all the things cluttering my brain and then address them point by point. Planning out the summer you WANT to have Ask your family - what summer do you want to have? What activities do you want to do? What vibes/feelings do you want summer to have? Some years we were like road trips and camping Some we were like backyard BBQs and beaches Actually, we seem to rotate back and forth between the two Some other visions for a summer: Mocktails and gardening Books and suntans Fishing and hiking Popsicles, parks and kiddie pools Bike parks, bike paths and exploring Neighbourhood water fights Having a vision is so important. It lets you get clear on what you want so you can make the decisions that will get you there. Making a family bucket list for summer We involve our kids in sharing their ideas on every season and holiday - we want to know what they hope for and see where it we can make it happen. You can also read more about our approach to family meetings right here. Some of the things on our bucket list this year: Buy a pool Bubble wars Giant walk day Movie day Pajama day Beach day Candy day Taste test (one of their faves) View this post on Instagram A post shared by Shawna | Life Coach for Moms (@simpleonpurpose.ca) Other family summer bucket list ideas: Backyard campout Back yard movie night Cabin stay Kayaking or canoeing trip Waterslide day Camping trip Also see this post for a MEGA LIST of simple things to do with your kids, and get the free download to print off. [convertkit form=1719242] Setting daily routines for summer days I love rhythms of the week - listen to episode 28 to hear some of the ones we often have during the school year. Keep it flexible by time blocking.

As moms who want to have hobbies and do things they love we get bogged down with notions that we have to monetize our hobby, or that we have to be exceptional at it. We almost use these as measurements to determine if this hobby is 'worth it' in the time, energy, and money it could involve. I want to pitch the Joy of Being Mediocre and how it can unhook the hustle from the hobby and allow enjoyment to come into the hobby rather than expectation. Full episode transcript is available at the end of this post Monetizing hobbies We are living in an age where we are constantly consuming images, captions, and videos of people creating amazing things. We are also connecting the dots that it is their industry as well Modern career advice tells us to follow our passions and turn our hobbies in jobs. But there a flip-side to this industrialization of our hobbies: our hobbies don't NEED to be monetized, and (gasp) we don't even need to be that great at them. How we have lost touch with our passions and our hobbies Over the years we see a trend of learning that The Best being the ones who get the praise and we need to fade back into the shadows. Then we pour ourselves into our jobs where we find 'success'. Then we turn to hobbies to find some satisfaction in our lives - and we set ourselves up for frustration because we just want to be GREAT at it, NOW. When we are great at it, then we tell ourselves it is 'worth it' What is 'worth the effort' when it comes to pursuing hobbies as a mom? This is especially tricky for moms. What is 'worth it' as a mom who wants to spend time, money, and energy on her hobbies. We measure 'worth it' by how WONDERFUL we are at it and how likely it is we could monetize it. Letting go of the pressure to hustle our hobbies Enjoyment is available of pretty much anything when we give ourselves the freedom 'hobby without the hustle'. When we let go of that hustle, we welcome in relaxed enjoyment. Being mediocre is the cost of getting skilled at something, so we might as well enjoy it Being a mom who 'tries things' that she is not 'good' at My kids have witnessed me, over the years, being very mediocre at various pursuits. And, most importantly, not being mad about it or deciding to quit trying new things. Reasons why someone might be out of touch with their hobbies/interests/passions: They want to be good at it They need a lot of instruction on how it has to look so they can check the boxes that they are ‘doing it right’ They don’t feel confident to try They don’t want to commit, out loud, cause then they might feel pressured to actually do it They aren’t sure if it will be ‘worth it’ - for whatever kind of outcome they are using to measure what make it ‘worth it’ And they have lost touch with what would be interesting to them, they stopped listening to themselves and the weird and wonderful way they are made to experience their life Ways to get in touch with what is interesting to you: What did you love to do as a kid? What do you always say you want to try? (what supplies have you bought over the years and never used them?) What looks interesting this season? What are you pinning on pinterest? A side note about secretly hoping you can monetize your hobby If you have the secret motive that 'maybe I could monetize this' I encourage you not to sit on the fence and actually decide if you want to go ALL IN and build it a business - or if you want to let go of the motives and simply enjoy your hobby. In this episode, I share a bit more of how that looked for me when I decided to start a blog ten years ago and how I wrestled with it being a 'hobby' vs a business. The Joy of Being Mediocre We are here for the PROCESS of doing/creating/sorting/digging/moving and EXPERIENCING This isn't about escaping your life or seeking pleasure at the cost of your values but rather it is abou...

Do you wish you made time for the things you enjoy? Maybe you aren't sure what hobbies you would like, or you think you aren't 'creative enough' to have hobbies. I have encouragement for the mom who feels guilty that she doesn't enjoy her time, but also feels guilty when she isn't 'productive enough' Siobhan Johnes from the Unlocked Creative is sharing her insights and tips to help moms make more time for the things they love to do. For the woman who says 'I'm just not 'creative'' What it means to be creative Where creativity comes from How we are made to be creative and use our creativity in the world For the mom who says 'what do I even enjoy? how should I spend my 'creative time'?' Following the breadcrumbs and trying new things The hurdle to exploring the hobbies and routines that you will enjoy Steps you can take to learn what you enjoy in life For the woman who feels like 'creativity' is frivolous or childish Permission to enjoy something just because it is enjoyable Planning in time to be creative, open, and messy Having time to be creative in a way that doesn't need praise or validation For the mom who feels like there is no time to do hobbies or be creative How to open up to the ways you can bring it into your daily life The thought 'there is not enough time' always shuts down our openness to finding how to make it work The scarcity mindset keeping you from taking action Being open to how we determine the time, purpose, and the values we want to bring into our life Steps to find more time for the things you want to make the time for time audit, looking for 'time sucks', finding the in-between times, delegating For the mom who wants ideas on hobbies Start with what is around you - what you have available Turning to your everyday surroundings for inspiration See some ideas on this For the mom who feels guilty when she's not 'productive' The inner critic that comes up when are playing rather than being productive Acknowledging the societal influences on how we view the value of our activities Looking for when we feel guilt, or lack of value when we aren't 'producing' Listening to the times you feel guilt or shame or unworthiness when you spend time on a creative outlet Modelling creativity and hobbies and doing things we enjoy for our kids Putting guilt outside the door so creativity can come in Feeling guilty for creativity AND feeling guilty you aren't spending your time in ways that you enjoy To find Siobhan Jones head over to the Unlocked Creative Podcast, and find her on Instagram Find my episode on Siobhan's show where we talk about exhaustion, simplifying, prioritizing, and purpose in creativity.

This is not the house I would have chosen to be my forever home, but over the years I have come to terms with us staying here - but how to reconcile with the dissatisfaction of this home not being exactly what I want. Acknowledging our home dissatisfaction Recognizing that deep desire to create a space that FEELS like home Addressing the longing we have to change our homes How we handle our dissatisfaction Working with a partner to build a home together Having different ideas on what a home should be Looking for the ways we both want to create a great place Owning where we think the grass is greener Are we entitled when it comes to having an upgraded/ideal home? Addressing the concept of what is 'normal' for how our homes should look Getting overwhelmed to just 'get there already' Asking about what we want, why we want it Can we consider the costs of having this 'ideal' home Appreciating the home you have The one question that helped me see the resent I was looking at my home with Looking at my space with appreciation over the days/weeks/months and the things that I have put on my list that I didn't expect Old decks, small closets, dated kitchens, lack of storage cul-de-sacs Why do we want to change our home? We think when our home is 'ideal' then we can feel different Seeing how you don't have to wait for the perfect home in order to feel that Getting stuck in the either/or mentality Stop waiting for the perfect home Your home should be a place that reflects YOU and is a space you love to be and nobody else will do this work for you Do the work of removing what you don't want in your home and letting the things you love shine and be used Know what you LOVE and focus on those things more than the latest trends Make a point to USE your space for the way you want your home to be used (gather, create, make, relax) Creating spaces you use and enjoy Loving your home and wishing it were different This is not an either/or situation, hold space for both of these Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. Mentioned: Love The House Your Are In by Page Rein No Demo Reno on HGTV Table Topics Question cards to start dinner conversation How to Hygge When You Are a Busy Mom (Episode 75) Join the Facebook Simple on Purpose Community Be the mom you are (blog post) Simple Pleasure of the week: Warm blankets out of the dryer. Full transcript Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend life coach from simple and purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. For those of you who are new welcome. I am Shawna, I am a mom of three kids. I'm a trained life coach, a retired health inspector and your nerdy girlfriend, I am here to talk to you each week about the things that we moms we women face in our lives. And how do we approach the different aspects of our lives by first reducing all of the distractions, the noise, whether it's in the form of busyness, comparison clutter, so we want to simplify these areas of our life. And we want to get clear on what we want here, how to be purposeful and intentional in each of the areas of our life. So welcome to the podcast. For the past few episodes, we've been talking about emotional intelligence. So I wanted to bring in another topic and change it up. And what I love to do is talk to you guys about something that I talk with my girlfriends on. And this is a conversation I've had over the years, with my girlfriends, the topic of loving your home, how do you feel about your home? Do you wish it were different? I recently was looking through some old notebooks I haven't I came across a couple lists I had made about what I love about my home. And what I don't love about my home,

This is the LIVE recording from a Facebook Live held earlier today in the Simple on Purpose Community group I am answering FAQs and addressing the myths we might have about emotional intelligence and emotion coaching our kids. I have been emotion coaching my kids for years now and I have noticed such a huge difference in my own relationship to my emotions and how I handle theirs and help them problem solve. Here are some of the myths and FAQs on emotional intelligence that I am addressing: Why do emotions even matter?! If I pay attention to their emotions, we can’t have fun anymore cause we’re busy working through upset emotions If I give them empathy, they will think their misbehaviour is ok I don’t have time for more ‘parenting tool’ in my life When they have done something wrong, they should be punished - no need for all this emotion stuff I was never raised to consider my emotions, and I turned out fine If you want the tools, approach, and support to emotion coach yourself and your kids, then don’t miss the limited time workshop Emotions, on Purpose The doors close tomorrow (TUESDAY, June 1st) - so if you are interested, sitting on the fence, then I hope you sign up today.

Health class may of taught us about anatomy, maybe our moms taught us about how to manage a period (but if you are like me, you just figured it out on your own reading the pamphlets in confusion and piecing together crumbs from Seventeen magazine). And then we start going through life, having babies, experiencing postpartum, living momlife and we realize that this whole 'WOMAN' thing is more than just knowing what products to use and how to use them. We learn that there is a whole-body wisdom that we need to develop around what our bodies are going through and how to support our bodies. This is episode is for the woman who is wondering what more she can do to support her whole body with hormone health. Today I am talking with Dana Irvine from Wise Divine Women Dana is a Canadian teacher, Clinical Thermographer, and podcaster - supporting women with hormone health and wellness. Looking at life four-fold: mindy, body, soul, nutrition Thermography is an infrared study of the body looking at the heat patterns in the body, to spot inflammation and congestion. Find Dana on Instagram, on her Podcast and on her website Some basics of hormone health for women The 101 on hormone health - what are they and how do they impact our health. The main ones are estrogen, progesterone, cortisol, serotonin, melatonin How your digestion is related to your mental health Paying attention to our cycles and supporting our hormones How our cycle affects our mood and energy through the month. Eating to support your hormones throughout your cycle (seed cycling) The myths we believe that periods should be hard and suck and paying attention to our periods and addressing issues earlier in life Paying attention to your bowels and getting enough fibre in your diet can help with hormone health How food sensitivities can impact your body inflammation and your hormone health Self-care and detoxing to support hormone health Dana’s course Touch Your Tatas, teaches lymphatic drainage Being comfortable with our femininity, embracing your cycle and your body Some ways to practice self-care (dry brushing) Setting up reminders in your calendar to do regular breast exams, and lymphatic drainage for breast health Being out of tune with our bodies Challenging our view on taking care of our personal health Taking care of our bodies and mental health now to set us up for health in our older years Advice from the other side of motherhood that the time is NOW to take care of our health and self-care Recapping the main points of detox It isn’t just about drinking weird tea, it is also physical and nutritional. Also paying attention to your mind (stinking thinking), energy, boundaries, foods, emotional health, emotional stress in the body Being in stress mode How we digest food when we are in stress mode (more info on this in episode 113 on stress and thriving) If you are doing all the ‘right things’ and eat great foods, exercise, maintain your home but you are stressed then these things are not as effective Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. The Red Tent This is a book that really opened up my eyes to the value of female mentorship and sisterhood. It has prompted me to start approaching and building into relationships that bring elements of sisterhood into my life. If you have liked this episode, I do hope you go share your thoughts in the closed Facebook group, the Simple on Purpose Community.

As we talked a lot about emotional intelligence, I want to move over to the physical side of emotional awareness. So often we just ignore our bodies and treat them as something that slows us down - but I've learned through experience, health problems, and researching the SCIENCE that listening to our bodies is vital. It helps us have a better awareness of ways we need to respond, more emotional freedom and it brings us out of living on the surface of our thoughts and into the experience of our lives. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. What is your relationship to your body? Do you ignore it, do you mistreat it, do you appreciate it, do you have anger towards it? Many of us women experience a range of these sentiments over the decades. I really realized how I resented my body when I learned I had an autoimmune disease called Graves Disease. You can read about that thyroid condition here, and you can read about my faith and healing journey here. Ignoring our bodies is culturally acceptable We power through, we push ourselves, we ignore our bodies. It is culturally acceptable. But why? Is it fear of wallowing and worsening? Is it fear of admitting our weaknesses? Is it because we are moms and we don't need ONE MORE THING to fix?? We ignore our bodies through food, drink, keeping busy and then we hit a wall and think we aren't strong enough, or we are doing it all wrong. Our bodies are WHERE we experience emotion Our bodies are where we FEEL our feelings. When we have a thought about something (often a subconscious and automatic judgment about if we are safe/in danger, good/bad, etc). When we have this thought our brain tells our bodies to release chemicals (peptides/hormones) to prompt us to respond accordingly. So the emotions we feel from those chemicals flooding our bodies aren't actually to make life hard, but to indicate something is needed to address this situation. Our bodies learn this thought-emotion response and then we call it a 'trigger'. It isn't just for BIG T trauma, our bodies remember how to respond from our past experiences. We often ignore symptoms in our bodies up to the point they cause us problems If we don't address what our body is telling us - and we keep having the same thoughts and emotions on something - our body will keep telling us this. For instance, over the years I have noticed that stress makes me hold my breath and breathe shallowly. It makes me tense up my stomach and clench my teeth. But I learned this backward, from addressing the health outcomes of doing these things repeatedly over time. What about the science of mind and body? I have read Heal Your Body by Louise Hay and it is a fascinating read as she connects ailments to emotional conflicts. I have started to view symptoms in a similar way because, as I have paid attention, I have seen connections to my own emotions and physical experience. But I am interested most in the science. Some great books on this are the Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candace Pert and Cure by Jo Marchant. Some popular names for this field are 'mindbody medicine and 'psychoneuroimmunology'. If you feel like this is a stretch - just think about the fascination of placebos - where our brain believes something and the body responds in accordance. And now they are researching nocebos - where, when a patient predicts a negative outcome their symptoms worsen from the placebo. Answering your questions about: Noticing the signs of stress (dig deeper with episode 113 on stress, surviving and thriving) Using visualization to improve your health outcomes, particularly where you have experienced an eating disorder and worry you won't be healthy in the future (dig deeper with episode 37 on the science of visualization) The simple pleasure of the week

I have had some great questions on how to teach our kids emotional intelligence - and I will answer them in this episode. I will also run through the 5 steps I use (and learned from John Gottman) on how to walk our kids through their emotions and misbehaviours - also called emotion coaching. This episode follows up on 119, about tolerating the emotions in ourselves and in our kids. The 5 steps to teaching our kids emotional intelligence, as I have learned through the work of John Gottman (my summary of his book is right here) 1. Awareness It takes time and practice to observe how our kids might be feeling. Each of our kids will act a little differently depending on how they are feeling. Boredom looks different in each of our kids. Emotional awareness is the foundation for understanding what is happening for us internally - because all of this will have an external result in our lives. 2. Emotions are a chance for connection This feels really tough at the moment when our kids are pouting or blaming or having an emotion that is tough for us as moms to tolerate. I see these times as a situation where my kid has a GAP in their skills and they need to know I'm here to walk them through it. It is important to consider that our kids are at different skills and needs depending on their age. How I use bedtime as the time of time day to connect with my kids on their emotions. 3. Label the emotions Awareness of a specific emotion is important because it helps us narrow down the thoughts and situations that are causing it. Even the moms I coach are a bit unaware of what emotion they could be feeling. This can be done with a 'check-in' in lots of fun and easy ways. This is a great habit to teach your kids in becoming more emotionally aware. There is a science behind the process of labelling our emotions - affect labelling and 'name it to tame it'. 4. Empathy I think empathy can transform your parent-child relationship, episode 84 We think that empathy might coddle or kids or keep them wallowing in it - but it is the opposite. It helps them feel seen, helps them allow the emotion in order to move through it. Empathy is not a form of reward or punishment and it does not excuse misbehaviour. A very sweet TedTalk to have empathy in listening to our kids. 5. Set limits and problem solve This is often where we START to deal with the issue. But all the other 4 steps can make this job so much easier for our kids and for us as moms. It means we address HOW the situation was handled, what happened from the feelings our kids had. Remember: You don't have to deal with it in the moment, come back to it when you are no longer in a stress response and when they are no longer in a stress response (because stress highjacks our intentions, episode 113) This can be a conversation you bring your kid into problem-solving. It helps teach them the skills of solving their own problems Answering the questions that were sent to me on teaching kids emotional intelligence. When you as a parent are practicing EI and you ignore/don’t acknowledge bad behaviour for the purpose of disengaging or de-escalating a situation, can that be perceived by your child as approval to act that way? How can you acknowledge negative feelings without reinforcing a negative mindset? Like if your child is complaining about something how do you validate their feelings of disappointment/etc without encouraging more complaining and negativity? How do you empathize authentically when you really don’t care that “the pink spoon is dirty”? Getting more support on being an emotionally intelligent mom teaching her kids emotional intelligence I will be teaching a workshop for moms on June 3rd 2021. Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get notification on that. PS. Simple Saturdays isn't like other email! It is FUN email - it comes out twice a month and has...

I want to run through the steps of teaching your kids emotional intelligence. And to lay the groundwork for that, let's take a minute to explore our relationship to uncomfortable emotions. We are conditioned to view certain emotions as acceptable and unacceptable - and this causes us to have a low tolerance for these emotions that show up in ourselves and in our kids. Emotional intelligence is important for moms because it helps us to walk them through their own emotions from a more tolerant, accepting, and capable place Emotional intelligence in our kids We underrate their emotional capacity to observe and internalize the world around them Sometimes we parent the surface level of 'keeping them happy' - aka the Hustle for Happiness, Episode 66 Happy kids cannot be our parenting goal, it is short-sighted and defeating Raising kids will emotional intelligence is important because it allows our kids to be: more mindful of how their emotions are impacting them less fearful of 'negative' emotions better skilled in healthy coping habits to help them with their tough emotions better skilled in developing healthy relationships Emotional intelligence is a whole family experience Emotional intelligence is good for the whole family, and it is never too late to get started We worry that if we allow our kids their emotions that they will act entitled and poorly. Remember, all emotions are acceptable but not all behaviors are acceptable What emotions are 'acceptable'? We are conditioned to view certain emotions as acceptable or unacceptable As moms, we have emotions we view as 'unacceptable' for us to feel. But emotions have a purpose, all of them. They have a role to prompt us to take an action. We often take unhealthy actions and reinforce our belief that this emotion is unhealthy. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids As moms, we have a low tolerance for certain emotions in our kids. Here are some common ones that the moms I coach struggle to tolerate our kids feeling: Ungratefulness, entitlement, Anger Disagreement Overwhelm Sadness, pouting Scared Shy, nervous Boredom Watch out for the negative emotions we allow our kids to feel, even encourage, because we think they can be used as a form of consequence or punishment: shame, guilt, regret. We are teaching our kids which emotions they should turn to in order to motivate their own behaviour changes, and it becomes our inner dialogue in our adult life. Answering some of the questions that were sent to me: Is EI similar to emotional resilience? If emotional resilience is a value of mine how can I incorporate that into everyday life in hopes to help my children to be emotionally resilient? Can minimalism help our kids have better emotional intelligence? Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK A meal planning pad See my meal planning video in the Facebook community group How I use a meal plan to have ideas and ingredients on hand throughout the week Full transcript Welcome to the podcast. We are here, spend some time together every week, and simplify your home, your heart and your life. So you can show up for your life with more peace, purpose, presence, and I'm going to throw passion in there because this is your life, and you should enjoy it. This past week, we've been getting outside a lot. I love that the weather is turning. I love the idea of getting outside every day. But I mean, sunshine makes it way easier, right? So we've been getting outside the balsamroot flowers are blooming in BC they look like little sunflowers. They're just my favorite. If you knew I was a bird nerd. You also might know I'm a plant nerd. Not the kind of plants that I kill in my garden. I'm not a gardener.

There is an emotional experience of motherhood that can feel dark, angry, exhausting, hopeless. Some of us even experience postpartum depression or other hormonal imbalances that impact our emotional experience. Is joy still available to us in these really tough times? Does joy mean I'm always happy? Does joy mean it comes easy? Can I find joy in things OUTSIDE of motherhood? This is my conversation with Jenna about these topics. Jenna is a mom of two (with one on the way) and she hosts The Joy Filled Podcast. She started a podcast to give her a gathering place and build community as she shares her real-time story of walking in joy amongst her struggles with PPD after her firstborn. Joy filled motherhood Topics we covered in this episode: Postpartum depression in motherhood looking back and recognizing postpartum depression in yourself seeing when something is 'off' and 'not me' learning from PPD and deciding what you want to do differently doing the work of keeping your peace and joy The damage of the cultural message that "motherhood is bliss" struggling to connect with our new babies this creates a stigma around the other end of the spectrum that motherhood is hard and we do get angry Joy filled motherhood vs happy motherhood feeling like joy is unavailable to us in motherhood "joy isn't feeling happy, it isn't the absence of hard" having hope and relying on God to find joy in motherhood joyful vs joy-filled not buying into the myth of being happy all the time, and that if you are happy you are doing it right Getting rooted in joy amongst daily life of motherhood not putting Jesus in a box of how it looks like to connect with him and rely on him separating the feelings from the lies and getting recentered on what is true having imperfect days setting boundaries around our connection to our phones being present in parenting Struggling with hormonal imbalances and depression navigating a diagnosis and handling of depression, as a Christian woman using resources and a community to support the journey of treating depression the power of speaking our experience and having someone point out the lies we are stuck in Doing things that light us up and make us feel joyful the big things and the small things we could be doing that feel like an outlet listening to who God made us to be so we still do things we are passionate about and don't lose our identity to motherhood we are all creative in our own ways, it isn't just about art being passionate gives us a sense of purpose and energizes us what MLM has taught us about the desire to put our hand to something in addition to motherhood motherhood being an important calling, but not the only one in our life Practical ways to set boundaries between motherhood and work (and other pursuits) setting boundaries around social media getting family/friend support what it means to be a 'present mom' setting a routine of independent play and work time for parents spending proactive time with our kids using our time wisely and efficiently when we have time allocated for work WHERE TO FIND JENNA GRIFFITH The Joy Filled Podcast Jenna on Instagram

What does it mean to be 'Emotionally Intelligent'? How can this help you in motherhood and your life? I'm sharing the basics of Emotional Intelligence (aka EQ) and giving you my take on where each Enneagram Type can develop and round out their EQ The basics of emotional intelligence In a nutshell, EQ is being aware of feelings and managing those feelings in yourself and in your relationships (socially). I'm looking at the info out there on this topic and summing it up into four major themes of what Emotional Intelligence includes: Emotional Awareness Emotional Self Control Motivation Social Skills 1. Emotional Awareness This is being aware of WHAT you are feeling, WHY you are feeling it, and HOW it affects you and your life. This is foundational in coaching because it brings in a piece of the puzzle to the thought-feel-act cycle (as per the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy model). We aren't often paying attention to the low-level emotions we feel through the day, but there is a lot of leverage and power we can gain from practicing emotional awareness of all our emotions. 2. Emotional Self Control This is how we cope with our emotions, what we do about them. When we feel big emotions we can fight, flight or freeze. This might help us in the short term but they are not ideal ways to cope and move through the emotion. It also keeps the stigma of this emotion being a negative experience and something we 'shouldn't' feel and don't really know how to tame. 3. Motivation This is the main theme in 'how we move forward'. We are often looking for motivation (how to get more of it, how to harness it) from somewhere outside of us. We are looking for the 'thing' that will make us naturally motivated and therefore disciplined and crushing our goals. We don't see that motivation is an inside job. Rather than wait to feel it, we need to learn HOW to generate it in ourselves. Don't use shame as a shortcut to learning the skills of developing internal motivation. 4. Social Skills I am most focused on personal emotional intelligence, but there is a big emphasis on how we relate to others in the field of emotional intelligence. Social skills include empathy, communication, conflict resolution, influence and good leadership. Why does emotional intelligence matter? Which also implies the question, why do emotions matter? EQ matters because our emotions matter because we DO what we FEEL like. As the CBT model outlines, our feelings inform our actions. We act based on how we feel. And how we act is what gives us a correlated outcome in our life. So if we want a different outcome, we need to take different actions. Emotional intelligence allows us to manage our emotions in a way that supports the actions we want to take. The benefits of high emotional intelligence You can tolerate emotions in your kids/partner, you don’t need them to be happy for you to be happy You can grow in conflict resolution than stay in conflict avoidance You have healthy coping skills You have healthier relationships, you can navigate your own emotions and others You can do the inner work of self- motivation and use EQ to move towards the things you want in life Welcome to the No Shame Club If you are feeling some grief or upset over where your EQ is at, I want to welcome you to the No Shame Club. This is a place where we see WHERE we are and choose to not shame ourselves for it. EQ is not a moral issue, it does not make you better or worse, good or bad, right or wrong. It is just another tool available to us. So, if you want to grow your EQ, let's do it from a positive and self-honouring place. No shame allowed. Emotionally Intelligence by Enneagram Type Our emotional intelligence can vary in how we relate to ourselves and others. Some enneagram types are very 'others focussed' and can have high social skills.

This is a bit different of an episode - it is a FUN episode! It is OUR episode - the one where I tell you what is happening behind the scenes and tell you what the reader/listener feedback survey revealed. What I heard from you: Episodes that have helped you Identity Clutter Being a Mom Martyr Who is listening The topics you love to hear about Yes, we are friends IRL Why you are here hanging out with me, the podcast, the Facebook Group, and the Simple Saturdays: To remember to slow down To remember it doesn't have to be perfect To remember that small things matter To remember to be purposeful What you didn't know about Simple on Purpose: The Homemaker on Purpose Workbook The Life on Purpose Roadmap Course The free coaching mini-sessions, the strategy sessions can be booked here and the coaching program info is here. Answering some of your questions: How to get work down and run a business? Having a hard time completing the Life on Purpose Workbook Sharing thoughts on a great comment about letting go of some of your expectations built up around minimalism. Connect with Shawna in the Facebook group, on Instagram, or in the Simple Saturdays email. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK Is this simple Shampoo Brush. And here is the lovely Cara Brook I mentioned (well, I called her Cara Brooks, got the last name incorrect). I couldn't find her old makeup tutorials that taught me how to put on makeup - but I will share my Pinterest board with some of the tips and ideas I have liked for hair and makeup.

I was a controlling mom. I turned on the NO switch and said no to my kids, to my husband, to myself. But this need to control everything came from one very specific belief I had about myself: that I was not a capable mom (or a capable person, for the most part) We all like the feeling of being in control, but it can lead us to act in ways we don't like and it cuts us off from developing the skills of feeling capable. Because the more we fight for control, the more reduce the practice and sense of capability in ourselves. A Self-Professed Controlling Mom In this episode, I shared how, two kids in, I was becoming very reliant on CONTROL. I found myself controlling all the people and all the situations because I really didn't feel capable as a mother. I said no to my kids, to my husband, and to myself. And I had everything wound up so tight. For me, the solution to move out of this was turning to my village to help me pull out of my comfort zone, get out of my house and DO stuff with my kids. However, I still noticed that as I said YES more and did more, that I was still looking to control the what and the how and the little details. I really had to unhook myself from the deep belief that "IF I HAVE CONTROL, things will go well and easy - and if I don't have control then I am doing it wrong" Being proactive vs being controlling Making plans and being prepared is so proactive and important. In my home, we have lots of preparation and structure. We have meal plans (see the video in the Facebook group on meal planning tips), weekly rhythms, daily routines, daily plans etc. We rely on these preparations and plans to make our life easier. It is important to be proactive but watch for when it crosses over to being controlling - when we NEED things to go to plan for our sanity. Building up capability We want to feel like we are in control because it makes us FEEL capable. But it doesn’t always actually make us more capable of HANDLING life. This can be the middle ground where plans and control support our lives and help us stay proactive - but we also start building up the skills of feeling and being capable of 'figuring it out'. How we act when we are trying to control When we are in a constant need of control, we start to act in ways we don't really love to be. We are hovering, stressing, nagging, worrying. It becomes really unfun and we are develop a controlling persona What we don't feel capable of handling Something we might not feel capable of handling daily things. Like, broken strollers, kid tantrums, making meals with missing ingredients, etc. But for many of us, it goes deeper. We don't feel capable of handling the discomfort of things like a messy home, conflict with others, relying on others, other people's negative emotions. Letting go of what we CANNOT control So much of this involves turning our attention and stance towards what IS in control. Which is always ourselves. We cannot control others and the climate and the economy and the situations we encounter in life. But we can control how we think about them and how we show up. Feeling more capable When we work on feeling more capable we acknowledge that: we are not in total control of all the circumstances and people we let go of all or nothing thinking and start to see other options on dealing with things we can step into quiet confidence that we can deal with it, whatever it looks like we make room for life to happen we quiet down the stress response in our daily life (as Episode 113 explains, feeling incapable can trigger the stress response) Seeing control and capability through a faith lens This isn't about US being the answer and the plan being The Thing that saves us. It is about having TRUST in something bigger. Where is your trust? For me, that is trust in God that he has got this.

What it means to be a mom on purpose - and it is not about having happy, obedient kids. It is actually about being a mom on purpose when our kids are NOT happy or obedient, or when life feels hard and we aren't feeling happy. Dealing with Automatic Negative Thoughts Coming off a couple of weeks of feeling like I was hitting a wall and spiralling to all the things that are wrong in my life Our brain is wired to find problems so we can keep ourselves safe and protect ourselves from 'problems' We are the ones that need to talk back to our brains and tell ourselves what is true Mindfulness as a mother Mindfulness isn't always beautiful and lovely. We need to be mindful of the things that feel not so lovely in our lives. It is important to be mindful of the stories we tell ourselves because we act out, show up from those thoughts and how they make us feel When we show up from frustration, resent, victimhood and then our outcome is always disconnection and more helplessness and frustration. Our two selves We have the self that we ARE (what we are doing) vs the self we want to be (our ideal self) Our work is to love us for where we ARE while moving towards our ideal with compassion and love. Led by emotions or led by intention Often we let our emotions run the show - rather than being led by stress and frustration and anxiety, we need to be led by our personal values. Knowing our personal values means we know WHO we want to be and what is important to our core - in this season of life. It is also about bringing the work back to what we DO have total control of - ourselves. Obedient Happy Kids We ask for obedience and happiness in our kids It makes it easier when our kids are happy and well-behaved, but is it what we should be fighting for? We want obedience, plus gratitude, plus happiness, plus agreeability, etc. Consider how reasonable it is to expect all of these things from our kids, and see how we might not be good models of all we tell them we need to be. Kids learn by seeing what we DO more than they will ever listen to what we SAY We need to be parents who DO the work on ourselves so they can learn by watching us tackle emotional intelligence, coping and contentment. We want our family to be happy (all the time) What are we seeking when we want everyone to be happy all the time? When people around us are happy, it is easy. It is comfortable (a Type 9 mode for sure) I have been the Manager of Happy, trying to make sure everyone was following the happy plan. It caused a lot of anxiety and strife in my life. What is really happening is that we scramble for control when we don't feel capable. When we don't feel capable, we focus on CONTROL instead BUT we don't have control over all these peoples. We only have control over US Being a mom on purpose means we turn off the autopilot we stop showing up from negative emotions (stress, frustration, low key anger) we stop beating ourselves up for how we struggle (no more shame!) we step into INTENTION, even when it is hard we stop making hard things harder (and being a mom martyr) we look for ways to enjoy this and be the MOM WE ARE Step into the empowerment of being a MOM ON PURPOSE even when your kids don't listen, even if you feel overwhelmed, even if you feel like every day is groundhog day. Let's do the work of being a Mom on Purpose (MOM ON PURPOSE BOOTCAMP) Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. Simple Pleasure of the Week (as inspired by Red Light/Green Light from the Popcast with Knox and Jaime) This week my simple pleasure is the author Isabel Allende - who I consider to be part poet and part researcher I have read and loved Long Petal of the Sea and Daughter of Fortune

There is a quote 'don't just survive in motherhood, thrive in it' When I first heard this quote I really hated it. I was home with three kids under four and very aware of how I was NOT thriving and felt like I wasn't even surviving. I resented this notion I had to be thriving. What I thought thriving in motherhood had to look like cute home, always clean healthy home-cooked meals, everyone likes them well dressed, kids are happy, I'm training for a marathon I also have a successful side hustle It felt very far away from where I was Over the years I have learned that there are some very important hurdles to 'thriving in motherhood' I will be sharing the four reasons we aren't thriving in motherhood in the upcoming Mom on Purpose Bootcamp. If you want to do the work with me and set a great foundation for going from surviving to thriving then save your spot right here. One big reason we aren't thriving in motherhood You cannot thrive when you feel like you are not surviving. That is to say, when you are in a stress response you cannot thrive and live mindfully and into your higher values This is a reason I really had to learn the science of and pay attention to its truth in my own life. What causes us to stress? A stress response occurs when your brain when you 1. perceive a threat and 2. feel incapable of dealing with it. You don't have to consciously and actively view something as a threat - as long as your brain subconsciously registers it, it will activate a stress response. The reason why we experience overwhelm In this episode, I'm sharing a recent week I had in parenting that became very overwhelming. Overwhelm happens when we don't deal with the little things and they pile up to something that feels too big. Often when we are doing this, we also start to see a lot of overwhelm in all the areas of our life. It spirals. The stress response highjacks our intentional living Science tells us that when we are in a stress state we are flooded with stress hormones and using a different part of our brain (the amygdala) that makes decisions to deal with the stress at the moment. We are not using our more logical, long-term planning part of the brain (pre-frontal cortex). We get stressed about being stressed A problem a lot of us face, especially moms is that we stigmatize stress. We think it means we are wrong and so we get stressed about experiencing stress. It is important to pay attention to what we really perceive as a threat and what makes us feel incapable of dealing with the problem. If you want to work on SURVIVING, so you can move towards THRIVING. Here are some steps you can take. Challenge what it looks like to 'THRIVE' in motherhood Pay attention to your relationship to stress right now Sit and ask yourself these questions What feels a threat to you, what triggers your stress? What feels like your needs aren't being met? What feels like you are capable? What feels like your needs are being met? If you want support on addressing the stress in your life, check out my coaching packages or join me for two days at the Mom on Purpose Bootcamp. You can find me on Instagram and in the Simple on Purpose Facebook community group. Full transcript Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast. I am here to help you simplify your home, your heart and your life. Because for many of us, our lives are busy, our brains are heavy, our hearts are weary, our homes feel cluttered, our relationships feel strained, and things just feel overwhelming. So I want to help you declutter the things that don't belong, that don't serve you. So you can make space for what you crave, and what's going to bring you passion and purpose in your life. So friends, you got to remember the decluttering process means getting messy, going through the clutter,

Today I a sharing a shift I have made in my parenting that has made such a big difference - when I teach it to my coaching clients they have an 'aha moment' too - because we might not see that we are often parenting the wrong issue. (Books or products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.) This is especially evident when we find ourselves in power struggles. We are taken out of the original problem and into all of the mental chatter and drama around the power struggle. The power struggle of getting kids to sit down for the meal In this episode, I'm explaining how I apply this to a real-life example that moms experience: wanting the kids to sit down at the table for dinner. Focussing on just wanting our kids to LISTEN. We just want compliance - and we spend a lot of effort trying to just get them to listen to us - and now we have a power struggle This is turning the simple issues of parenting into bigger, harder issues What happens when we are in a power struggle with our kids? When we have a power struggle over our kid's 'obedience' we sink into a story about how they don't listen to us and don't respect us. This narrative can make us feel unconfident in parenting, it is exhausting and it makes the relationship feel hard and heavy. Problem-solving the real issue Come back to the real issue we are dealing with. And start to problem solve from there. I'm offering the questions I ask myself and my kids to handle this issue of getting up often during mealtime. Related: Episode 84 How parenting with empathy can transform your relationship The value of family mealtime I want to come back to the root of why this matters to me. Why do I want family mealtime? How much work am I willing to do to make it happen in the long term as we all grow the skills of getting better at it? Making mealtime more engaging Hard and Awesome - asking each kid what was hard today? what was awesome today? Trivia questions - we make them up or have alexa ask some Q+A a day book - from this great book we got from my SIL Join in the Simple Saturdays email (biweekly newsletter) Learn more about the Mom on Purpose Bootcamp Message Shawna on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and my coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is the place where we talk about slowing down, and living life on purpose, living it with intention, instead of on autopilot, and autopilot used to be my speciality. So I know both very well - life on purpose and autopilot. Many of you who listen are moms and I love to hear where you're listening, some of you are listening while doing chores. Hey, Melissa, some of you are listening while driving to work. Hi Jisha some of you are listening went on a walk. Hi, Julia. And I just really love hearing from you real people who are listening. So whether you email me, tag me on Instagram, or leave a review in iTunes, I just really love to hear from you, the person, the woman with this in her ears right now. So I'm really glad you're here. It is spring break here in Canada. And I just took a week off of work to be with the kids while my husband was at work. And I just really wanted to do things with them to not just sit around because I mean, we've been doing that for a year where downtime is usually TV time. So I've been trying to embrace any sunshine, we get, you know, go skating, go to the park, go on mini hikes, go to the library, and playing way too much monopoly, they're getting very good, and they're beating me. And I've just really been trying to sink into being present with them. And I'm going to talk all about that in this week's simple Saturday's email, if you are signed up for that, you can read that there. And if you're not super easy,

Making decisions on what to declutter can be exhausting and often bring up emotions like guilt. I am offering my life coaching and decluttering advice on these topics as well as organizing and cleaning kid's toys. Listen to the previous Q+A here Questions I am answering on decluttering: How to know what to get rid of? With each thing I'm asking why I am I keeping this? what should I consider getting rid of and will I regret getting rid of it (mementoes from kids school days, some of their special clothing items, my dressy clothes from over the years, kids trophies, certificates, extra furniture in the basement ...) Recognizing decision fatigue How to create a decluttering decision framework How to handle the potential of regretting what you get rid of Listen to Episode 90 on 'What If I Need it One Day?' What are good ways to handle kid stuff so that it's easy to get into when we need it but keeps things neat when we don't? Organization is the second part of decluttering Episode 36 on the mistakes we can make when it comes to home organization Get the cheatsheet on the Top 10 Organization Mistakes we Make Bring your storage/organization questions to the Facebook group How to handle the cleaning routine and storage of kid's toys? My kids don’t have *much* stuff in total but they love little toys that spread far and wide Toy tidy up strategies we use in our home The emotions around decluttering— my constant struggle! Feeling overwhelmed, feeling wasteful by trashing stuff that’s still “good”, feeling guilty about getting rid of a gift, an inherited item, and so on… How to handle decluttering and not wanting to be wasteful The guilt of getting rid of something Honouring the relationship vs keeping the items The guilt of decluttering gifts If you are interested in life coaching contact Shawna at shawna@simpleonpurpose.ca Full Transcript (unedited) Hey friends I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is part two of the decluttering q&a, but you don't have to listen to the other one. First. It's fine. If you are showing up here. I'm glad you're here. I hope that this q&a answers some questions that you might have in your own life around what to get rid of, and how to deal with the emotions that come up. In the previous q&a, we talked more about really just liking stuff like liking stuff and wanting to create a home that feels like us, while still clearing out our home on just getting started knowing where to get started, and we wrapped it up with the age old question of no one else is putting things away like they should. And that is such a relatable question. So I hope you also go check that out. Let's continue on with the questions. And the first one that I'll be sharing today is how to know what to get rid of. And she has some examples of I'm asking myself with each thing, why am I keeping this? What should I consider getting rid of will I regret getting rid of it mementos from the kids school days, my dressy clothes from the years kids trophies, all of these things? So what I'm hearing you ask for is a framework, a framework you want for decision making. And I think this is incredibly powerful. When we have a framework on what we're going to keep almost like a flowchart. Imagine that, like imagine a flowchart that you could just refer to, in the moment when you are looking at an item, and you start going through all these questions in your mind, should I let this go? Do I use it? How often do I use it? Do I like it? Should I keep it for the kids? What if I don't want to keep it? Can you feel how many decisions you've just had to make in your brain? And what happens is we get decision fatigue our brain expending all that energy making these decisions will get fatigued it takes a lot of mental energy. And then eventually,

A popular topic I life coach moms on is their relationship to their stuff and decluttering their home. I wanted to share a Q+A time for more questions about decluttering. I asked for your decluttering questions in the Simple on Purpose FB group and on Instagram. Here is my life coaching advice on these topics. Here are the decluttering questions I am answering today: How do we begin when it all just feels so overwhelming? For instance: if I start decluttering A, I first have to do B, but to do B and I have to do C, but to do C...and the spiral continues until I give up and sit on the couch. Related: Episode 105 Do you trust yourself I like things. But I love how I feel in more empty spaces. However, my stuff also brings me joy and represents me. How do I keep myself in my space but not the clutter? Exploring your relationship with stuff Related: Read the post on Identity Clutter What do I do about the little spaces of clutter - like drawers small countertops and anywhere I can cram crap for a moment to do other things? The hot spots in our spaces and the gift of done Keeping most members of the household interested in maintaining a decluttering space... I try to have homes for everything and things still get put away in the wrong home or left somewhere completely random. Removing the first layer of frustration We have different standards....AND THAT IS OK How to meet your standards while meeting others where they are at Related: Episode 69 Will a simpler home bring me peace? FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. The quick and easy and I hope fun podcast for you busy moms on the go. You want to just take a hot minute, slow it down, get re centered on the things that matter to you. So you can make space and time and energy for the life that you want instead of the life that's just happening on autopilot. Welcome to spring friends, I just went for a walk with my bestie we walked her along the river, it was blue skies and sunshine. And it was just so nice to see her face. And I think we're all experiencing this past year has really put our relationships into a whole new spin. And we see each other so much less, and I just miss her so much. I'm texting, it just cannot beat talking to your friends faces. So I hope that you find a way to see your friends faces this week, lined it up, go for a walk, meet somewhere outside, just go see your friends faces it makes such a big difference. Alright, let's get into today's q&a on decluttering. I asked in the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community group, which if you aren't part of you should totally join by the way. And I also asked on Instagram, what your questions were for me around decluttering. So I'm going to jump into those. The first one is how do we begin when it all just feels overwhelming. For instance, if I start decluttering a, I have to do B and then to do b i have to do see. And this, this spiral continues until I give up and sit on the couch. relatable, right? I totally understand this. Like, I want to declutter the kitchen, but I need space in the hall closet for those extra dishes. And if I need to make space in the hall closet, I need to move towels in the bathroom, which means I need to declutter the bathroom. Right? So to me, the obvious dancer is to follow the spiral all the way down. If I follow this all the way down, where does it tell me that I should logically begin? And I think most of us know that on the surface like okay, maybe I'll start with the bathroom. But the problem is now that we've gone through all of that mental energy, figuring out what we need to do, that actually feels like real action to our brain. As we're visualizing it and thinking about what else needs to get done. Our brain thinks that work is actually getting done...

Elyse is a mom of three in Australia and she has a heart for helping moms make things simpler in their lives. I asked her to come and share with us what her decluttering experience was like. In this conversation, you will hear Elyse unpack what prompted her to declutter her home, what she has learned from it and the encouragement and practical tips she has for you to get started. Finding peace in motherhood Myth: If you were struggling then you are doing motherhood well On a journey to find peace and purpose away from this mindset Getting started with decluttering Decided to declutter her home at a time when she felt really unhappy in her space. “I didn’t like my home, I didn’t like being home” Staying motivated with decluttering Paying attention to how it feels to have less stuff to take care of and manage and clean Asking, is this really adding value to my life Appreciating how good it feels to have the space feel clear and more manageable The impact of decluttering on motherhood Having a vision for home and life The physical clutter impacting the mental clutter Recognizing how our home contributes to stress Myths we believe about decluttering It is a one and done thing One size fits all Other points we cover How to decide what minimalism looks like for you Advice for the women struggling get started with minimalism Does she regret getting rid of anything? You can hear her advice, stories and sweet mumma encouragement on her podcast the Wholesome Mumma and on Instagram at Wholesome Mumma Related posts: Declutter the 'what if I need it one day?' items How I started decluttering Full transcript (unedited) Welcome to the Simple on Purpose podcast. I'm so glad you're here. These episodes are often all under 20 minutes, I aim to keep them jam packed with just enough insight tips, advice, encouragement, stories that will help you get re centered and refocused on the things that really matter to you in your life, simplifying, and getting rid of the distractions so that you can show up for the things that matter the most on purpose. Today, I'm talking with my friend Elise, who is a mom of three, she's got a new baby named Lola, Isn't that adorable? So I've gotten to know at least the group that we're in, and I just really admire her I'm really drawn to her. She has this warmth about her. She's so encouraging. And she really has a heart for moms to feel peace in motherhood real piece, and actually talks about a bit in our chat. It's something that she craved because she shared she was living with this mindset that if I'm struggling with motherhood, then I'm doing motherhood well, and who wants freedom from that? I know I do. And we look at social media and the culture and there seems to be these two ends of the spectrum on what motherhood is. It's either total hot mess, like rolling to the bus stop chucking frozen waffles out of your kids from the door. And then there's the Pinterest perfect mom. But I say most moms are actually in the middle. I know that's where I am. I know some days my kids are like eating noodles out of a Ziploc bag. And I realized that somewhere along the day, my underwear had ripped and it's just like floating around on my body loosely with no function. And I'm like, What is my life. And then some days, dishes are done, the counters are clear. I'm eating vegetables, I'm being active, my kids are feeling kind and we're playing this like family game and it feels so warm and wonderful. Like somewhere in the middle is where my actual life is. And I love to make space for that. I love to make room for that and have grace for that. But okay, this isn't what we're going to talk about. We're talking about decluttering and Elise shares a lot on decluttering. She has a podcast called the wholesome mama podcast, and she shares a lot about motherhood,

This is the final part of the coaching session with Laura, the mom of a 4-year-old and 1.5 year old . In this part of the coaching call, we wrap up with how to take ACTION that moves her in the direction she wants to go as a mom. She is getting anchored in what she wants out of motherhood (joy), and making a plan on how she wants to get it. If you haven't yet, make sure you listen to part 1 here, and part 2 here Enjoying the early days of motherhood When you are at home with small kids it can feel monotonous and boring. There is a lot of pressure to 'enjoy these days'. A crucial part here is not aiming for 100% enjoyment - but rather allowing for the full range of experience that comes with motherhood. Loneliness in motherhood When we start to think about how lonely we are, we can snowball into all the ways we feel it and keep our mind spinning about how it might always be this way and wonder what is wrong with our friendships, etc. Part of stopping this cycle is to take an ACTION that pulls us out of it. Gratitude practice Laura mentioned that gratitude is something that naturally leads to joy for her. She wants SEEK JOY in motherhood and will use a gratitude practice as an intentional way of doing this. You will find what you are looking for Our brain has a confirmation bias to prove what it believes is true. It is constantly seeking evidence to line up with what we are believing. This is important to pay attention to the narrative we are spinning in (this is hard, I'm rejected, I am lonely, whatever it may be) because our brain will make it ITS JOB to find evidence. Often we are in a narrative that was set on auto-pilot - so if we want to be intentional about showing up from a new narrative, then we need to also tell our brain something NEW and HELPFUL to be searching for. Thank you so much to LAURA for volunteering and being vulnerable! This is the real honest truth of motherhood - sometimes it is messy and hard and lonely and the best thing we can do is share that with other moms. So we can live in a culture of motherhood that is supportive, truthful and encouraging. Also mentioned: The Life on Purpose Workbook The Life on Purpose Roadmap Course Email shawna@simpleonpurpose.ca for any questions Book a coaching consult here, if you want to learn more about Life on Purpose coaching with Shawna

This is part 2 of my life coaching call with Laura. We are continuing the conversation with an exploration of what values she wants to bring into her parenting. This portion of the coaching session was getting clarity on WHERE Laura wants to go as a mom, what it looks like for her to be a mom on purpose. Head on over and catch part 1 right here. Values-based parenting When we are living in line with our values we feel more fulfilled, purposeful and at peace with how we are acting and behaving. This is why it is so important to know your values - they inform you of what is important to you and where you want to direct your energies. What you are in control of as a mom So many of us moms want to control the outcome of our children. We want to control how they feel about things, what they do/don't do, how they think about us or others. But all of this is NOT in our control. What is in our control is how we decide to show up (think, feel, act) - and our values are our compass on that. Loving the mom you are Part of loving WHO you are as a mom is recognizing what makes you unique. I love to do this with a list of all the things I think my kids will remember about me as their mom. Self-recognition of ourselves helps us step out of comparison with others. We wrap up with part 3 of this session.

This is a Coaching Session I had with Laura, who is looking for coaching support on dealing with jealousy of when her kids prefer her husband to her - and with setting up a motherhood mantra for herself to anchor herself in motherhood. I have divided this coaching session into three episodes. In this first one, we cover awareness. We work on identifying the problem, seeing how it impacts her life and how we can shift away from judgement and fear of it. In part two we will talk about being a Mom on Purpose and in part three we will talk about ways to bring joy into motherhood. Life coaching session on intentional parenting and uncomfortable emotions: Starting with awareness. Paying attention to how you are feeling, what you are thinking and how you are showing up. Laura mentions she is a Type 4 on the Enneagram to learn more about that check out this episode on the Type 4 Mom Understanding how we are perpetuating negative experiences in our life Self-judgement layers on the problem Dealing with uncomfortable or negative emotions Experiencing emotions rather than identifying with emotions. Head on over to part 2 of this call. Join the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook group

There have been a lot of changes I wanted to make in my life, but I didn't trust myself to follow through and do them. So I stopped setting goals and making promises to myself. This is something I have bee through and coach many women on - the issue of not trusting yourself creates a situation where you don't believe you CAN do it, you stop looking for ways to learn, you look to others for the solution and validation and you spin where you are - in indecisiveness, anxiety and maybe apathy. Showing up for others but not ourselves Often this situation shows up in women who still 'get things done' - but they are doing things FOR other people, whether held by accountability or expectation or role. But they don't 'get things done' for THEMSELVES, they don't show up for themselves and do what they said they would do. Can you relate to the situation of not trusting yourself? We might have an idea of what we want, but we waver on it, we doubt it. We might try something new, but we are insecure about it the whole time, we half show up. We might want to address an issue but we shrink away from it We might want to make a big change, but don’t believe it is possible We aren’t sure we are capable, that we know enough, that we are strong enough We don’t trust ourselves to do the thing we set out to do What do you use as evidence that you can't trust yourself? how you have failed you did it wrong you didn't feel confident or motivated enough you've never done it before other people do it better/easier/faster I used to not trust myself, and I'm sharing that in this episode: How I went through most of my adult life, not trusting muself. In fact, angry at who I was and what I wasn't doing with my life. The promises I made to myself that I would break How I am learning to become someone I can trust with my life What happens when you trust yourself? What happens when you FOLLOW THROUGH on what you say you want to do? I feel like I have been experiencing this over the past few years. I have taken back my power. I feel in control of my life. It feels possible to me that I can really do whatever I WANT to do in my life. ACTION: I'm giving you a couple of simple questions to get yourself started with building back the trust in yourself. More resources mentioned in this episode: My C-Section and the Feelings I was Ashamed to Admit Mom No Matter What The Annual Simple on Purpose Survey The Life on Purpose ROADMAP COURSE Book a consult call to learn about 1:1 coaching with Shawna Let's be Instagram friends Bring your questions to the closed Facebook Group FULL TRANSCRIPT Hey, friends. Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast, episode 105. This is the podcast for moms who want to simplify their home, their heart and their life and slow down to show up and enjoy their actual life, the actual life you have without overhauling it. In the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community Facebook group, we were talking about our plans for the week. And I shared that I'm spending it mostly on coaching calls, but then it's also my son's 10th. Birthday 10. My oldest is going to be 10. So it just takes me immediately back, as it always does. When you think about a birthday, you think about the birth day. And with him, he was a C section, it was an emergency c section. And at that time, I was so disappointed in my birthing experience it disappointed in my body, I felt disconnected from my son. And I was just so sad and confused about what was supposed to be this heart exploding experience. So I'm a new mom and I reached out to other moms who had babies and tried to talk to them about it. Many of them didn't have an emergency c section. And they they were just like, yeah, I didn't really have that experience. And I looked up on online forums, to see that I wasn't alone just for an echo that you're not alone,

How should a 30 something-year-old dress? I have asked this question for some years as I decluttered my closet and focussed on creating a closet of clothes I love to wear. I don’t want it to be the latest trends, but the clothes I enjoy and feel like ‘me’. I’m not a fashion blogger but when the memes went around this month making fun of millennial moms who wear skinny jeans and side parts I felt like I wanted to encourage other millennial moms to focus on building up a closet of clothes they LOVE to wear and not what Gen Z tells us is ‘in’ right now. Millennial Mom vs Trendy Youth What being a ‘trendy’ youth is all about. Playing with clothes to see what you like and learn more about yourself What being a millennial mom is all about. Knowing more of who you are and making choices in line with that How to declutter and create a closet of clothes you love Declutter the items you don’t love to wear, torn, unused, etc. Then start a pinboard of looks you love Look for a theme in what you are pinning Name your style (bring it to the Simple on Purpose Group if you want help with that) Use this style as your guide for what you buy/bring into your closet Don’t focus on trends, focus on what your style is and what you feel great in Mentioned in this episode The Instagram of me being a totally unfun anxious mom on a family walk Bring your ideas and conversation to the Facebook group FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE This is the podcast for anyone who wants to simplify their homes, feel overwhelmed by clutter? - their heart. Do you feel like you're just kind of angry and resentful all the time? And their life - Do you feel like you're busy, you're on the go, you're just reacting to things. This is a place where I want to help you simplify those things so that you can have the time and space and energy to show up well for the things that matter the most to you in your life. So this past weekend, we've had a four day weekend as a family, it was a pro D day Valentine's Day family day here in BC, British Columbia. So I take I took four days off work It was so it was weird. But it also felt really good. And we just took our time playing games and puzzles, and going skating and going for walks. And maybe you caught my recent Instagram post about the walk that broke my brain, you can go check that out there. If you want to see just a lovely ball of anxiety that I can sometimes be with my family. And it was a great time. It was great overall, I mean, there's good parts and there's hard parts every single day. So we just keep going, we keep rolling with it. Alright, so one thing I want to remind you guys of is to leave a review, leave a review in your podcast player, because the podcast player loves them gives us authority in the podcast player. And I really love to read them. I love it when I come across one and especially if I recognize the name, but I didn't recognize this name from Australia. HealwithmeAIP. I loved your thoughtful review. So thank you so much. I read it over breakfast and I told my husband this morning, someone called me quirky. And he's like, What? That's not weird. Like, hasn't that happened before? Like you are quirky and I was like, Oh, okay. And I kind of laughed as I reflected on it because I used to want to define my personal style as quirky French girl. So you totally call me out on this secret byline I'm trying to promote. And I'm going to talk about naming your style later because I want to talk about style and dressing like you're 30 Okay, I'm 38 but come on - this is for everyone in their 30s or whatever dressing like you're 30 So I had other episodes planned, but this meme has taken over the internet conversation. And it applies to most of the women born in the 80s. So a discussion broke out on tik tok about which hair part looks best. Okay, first of all, not on Tik Tok. I just rely on on my Instagram friends to share...

We all can think of some financial goals we want to meet (debt-repayment, emergency savings) and maybe we know what habits could get us there - but DOING it is the hard work. And I find it so helpful to hear what other people are doing and what it looks like in action in real life. Today I'm sharing the rest of my conversation with Bethany and Corey from the Millenial Mission Podcast about what their debt-free journey has been and in this part, they are sharing a lot about the habits they have formed and mindsets that have supported them in persisting and making an impact. Developing habits to pay off debt as a family Three changes that have made a big impact on lowering the debt Knowing what money is coming in and what is going out The debt snowball (coined by Dave Ramsey) The financial freedom a budget can bring you Weekly budget check-ins and monthly budget reviews Addressing the problem before it becomes a problem Spouses supporting one another in budget accountability What to do when you have a spouse who is not on the same page as you with the finances How debt repayment has impacted their marriage and parenting Not doing it perfectly Trusting God with finances, especially during the pandemic Making sacrifices as a family When you aren’t able to pay off debt and not giving up Surrendering your life and money to God Being intentional and faithful with finances and how that shows up in the other areas of your life Encouragement to just get started and get a system in place to know what you are doing with your money More resources Listen to the first part one: Starting the Debt-Free Journey How to Own Your Finances So They Don't Own You Download the free budget worksheet Find Bethany and Corey on Instagram Full transcript 0:08 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girl and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. So welcome for those of you who are new to simple on purpose. This is a place that I just want to share tips and stories and encouragement for you to simplify your home, your heart and your life. And part of life is finances right, we would all like our finances to be simpler. And in the life on purpose workbook and the life on purpose roadmap, there's a section on finances, where you can set the goals and habits you want to have there. And I think all of us probably can think of the goals we want when it comes to our finances. We want debt repayment, we want emergency savings, we want retirement savings, and so on. And maybe some of us even have an idea on what habits will get us there. We know logically, we need to make a budget we need to cut expenses. But doing it putting it into action is a whole other situation. And I don't know about you, but when I am trying to create a new habit or make a change in my life, I find it so helpful to hear the experiences of other people. And that's why I wanted to interview Bethany and Corey from the millennial mission podcast. This is the second part of my conversation with Bethany and Corey. In the first episode, the first part of this interview, they share their story about making a big lifestyle change, they moved to a place where it was cheaper to live. And they started to take actions to pay off their debt. And in this episode, they're sharing more practical tips about budgeting about working together. Because that is really helpful information we want to see like what does it look like in action as a couple as a family. But as we all know, this isn't just about numbers. This is about so much more. And Bethany and Corey they also share how it seeped into all of the rest of their life. How trusting God with their finances, turned into trusting God with their life and being intentional with their money, created an atmosphere where they really wanted to be intentional with their life. When we recorded this episode in December,

Wonder what it would be like to make a BIG CHANGE that starts your debt-free journey? Today we are hearing from Bethany and Corey on their story of what that looked like in their life. When they decide to give up the 'good life' for the 'better life' and by better I mean hard and uncomfortable but moving towards financial freedom. I love hearing real-life stories from real people who are making the hard decisions that allow them to TAKE CONTROL and start steering their life in a new direction - one that is in line with their values and the call they feel on their life. Bethany and Corey share a lot about what it looked like to bring God into the decision to make a move and get serious about changing their lifestyle. This episode is part one of two. Bethany and Corey's story about staring their debt-free journey How they were raised to view finances and debt “Even though you know all the right things you can be very easily deceived” “It was little things that added up” How they handled the debt conversation between them Decreasing the budget to account for leaving a job to become a stay at home mom Using credits cards for regular spending versus paying in cash Wanting to give your kids everything and buying them things Making a big location move to support the debt-free journey Feeling a calling on their lives to make the big move When life seems to be good but you aren’t living fully inline with your faith When life is uncomfortable but also very uncomfortable Giving up your ‘good’ life as you know it for something ‘better’ Starting a new job in a new town and taking time to build it up Acting like you don’t have any extra money and putting extra dollars towards debt Myths we believe about finances that can get us into trouble Playing the ‘credit card game’ The comparison game “You have to find happiness in the pits. You have to find happiness in the crappy two-bedroom apartment and the junky car you have to try and start four times, if you can be happy there - you can be happy anywhere. But so often we get it backwards” Keeping up with the Joneses The cultural assumption ‘you deserve nice things’ Find the Adkins at the Millenial Mission Podcast and on Instagram @bethanyandcorey. In the next episode, we talk about more practical budgeting tips, how debt repayment as impacted their family and that season of life where they weren’t making progress. So go check that out too. FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:08 Welcome to Episode 102. There's kind of this line you cross as a podcaster. Once you've done 100 episodes you like I, I powered to do, I held out, I did the thing. So it feels so great to be in the triple digits. And it feels even better. When I hear from you guys hear the episodes you're liking you bring it into the Facebook community, and ask for more topics. So I just love this podcast. And I love the community and the conversation that it is creating. And like I said in the other episodes, we are doing bathroom rentals. So there is some drilling and hammering going on. Just bear with us. All right, I'm also sharing something today that I don't do often. And that is interviews. Today I'm sharing two episodes, I've broken them up into two from my talk with the Atkins, Bethany and Corey Atkins, the having podcast called the millennial mission. And I was on their podcast in the fall, I met Bethany through a podcast mastermind group that I was a part of. And I really loved what their podcast did for about being a millennial, but still being on a mission being really purposeful in their life. And so I recorded with them back in fall. And we recorded this in December, because I just really loved their story. And I thought it would be encouraging to many of you who are interested in less debt, going debt free moving towards financial freedom. Because Bethany and Corey have story. They had debt, and it was growing.

Today I'm sharing some of a LIVE Q+A I did in FB community last month A few times each month I ask for questions and sometimes on a certain topic, then I come on and answer them live In this Q+A I am answering questions about putting your head in the sand, planning your day, finding the time when you feel like it is hard to find the time, and how much work it is to change your thoughts and behaviours. I also mention the Life on Purpose Roadmap - which is the condensed and simple course that takes you from reactive and feeling stressed about your life, to setting a direction for the nine areas of your life and taking control of your time, energy and space. Topics covered in this Q+A episode: Putting your head in the sand Knowing your stress responses What are you doing when you fight, flight or freeze Recognizing when you are in a stress response Planning your day, finding freedom in a plan Things that have helped me to plan over the years Setting plans with your spouse through a calendar meeting When you feel like there isn't enough time Making hard things even harder Choosing thoughts that empower you rather than demotivate you Our thoughts create our feelings and we are motivated by how we feel It takes a lot of energy to change behaviours and thoughts, here is why Listen to the episode on decluttering What if I Need This One Day? items Learn more about the Life on Purpose Roadmap course Bring your own questions to the Simple on Purpose Community group FULL TRANSCRIPT Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is your place and your time mama to just slow down - let's just slow down. Let's simplify things. I want to help you simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that you can have more time, less distractions, more energy and space to show up for what's really important to you, what really matters to you, what is in line with who you want to be your personal values, and how you want to show up. So before we jump in today, I want to remind you that I have this self-paced course you have been asking for over the years, the Life on Purpose Roadmap, this is the course you need if you want to get started with intentional living, and I mean, intentional living, like feeling like you have a purpose in your big whole life, but also acting that out on a daily level. So this course guides you through knowing what you want in the nine areas of your life, setting out your personal values, planning your day, and relying on more than just willpower because willpower is a myth, guys. And I bust that myth in this course, and putting it all into action. As with these podcasts and everything I do, I'm on the go like you guys - so I make it small and condensed, jam-packed. All of the lessons are about 20 minutes. And you can just stream the audio like a podcast. One of my students just emailed me the other day to let me know she listens in her car with her kids or at skating lessons, she brings in a workbook and she does a bit in there. And I just love it. Because finding these pockets of time to do the work can be possible. It can even be easy, I dare say. So if you want more direction, clarity and motivation, and living your life with more purpose and feeling in control of your life, rather than feeling like your life controls you then head on over to the life on purpose academy.ca and click the life on purpose roadmap. Today, I'm sharing a live q&a that I have done in the Facebook community group last month. So a few times each month I asked the members for questions, and sometimes it's on a certain topic, then I come on and answer them live. Because I want this Facebook community to be a place for you to go a little bit deeper get deeper support. This is a place where you can share your wins sharing what works. It's a place where you can get ideas from other moms. So I'm often trying to generate that conversation ask...

We did it friends! I am proud of us! We finished the Enneagram and Motherhood series featuring moms from all over the continent sharing what it is like to parent through the lens of their Enneagram type. Today we wrap up with the Type 9, which we all know they don't mind being left to the last ("it's fine, whatever works for you!") I say that because I am a Type 9 too. But this is also my 100th podcast episode so it feels like a nice way to wrap up this endeavour I have been on to grow this podcast into a place that serves and empowers women to strip away the distractions and show up well for their lives. And I think the Enneagram gives us tools to do this because it gives us awareness and language around how we show up in stress and growth - this is great information to help us redirect ourselves in times of stress - and to really pour into our strengths with mindfulness, truth and love. In this episode, we hear from two moms sharing their Type 9 Mom experience. Thank you to Lindsey and Angelica for sharing! The Type 9, we discuss: What motivates the type 9 How they act when in a place of growth (integration) How they respond when stressed (disintegration) Their approach to dealing with things that don't go their way (harmonic group) I also share about my own experience as a Type 9 mom. Ways I look for a connection with my kids, struggling to say YES when it means I'll be getting uncomfortable, reconciling with the anger I feel in motherhood and my desire to deny or rationalize away the negative emotions, and so on. I mention an episode and post on When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? you can read that post here and you can listen to the podcast version of it Episode 16 When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids You can bring any of your questions to the Simple on Purpose Community Group Drop me a line on Instagram to let me know you are listening! And if you are interested in life coaching with me, book a free consult call here to learn about it and see if it is a fit for you. FULL TRANSCRIPT I'm so excited to round out our episodes on the enneagram with the type nine and I know the tight nines hate waiting to be last. But also we're okay with it. Because we're a type nine, it's fine, it's okay. Being a type nine and always coming at the end of the list is like when your last name starts with a Zed, and you're always called on last in school. But here's my special little treat for you type nines. You're Episode 100, you're the 100th episode of the simple on purpose podcast. I know this is usually a celebratory episode for lots of podcasters. And maybe I'll do something for 101. But I'm just glad to make this one about my type the type nine and just make a space for us type nines. This is such a type nine thing to say. So the type nine is also called the peacemaker, or the mediator, the type nine is motivated by the need to avoid conflict. So that's why they're called peacemakers because they want to avoid the opposite of what they feel as peace which would be conflict to them. And they want to maintain peace and harmony and really avoid disconnection from others. I also want to give you a heads up as you're listening to the the audio here, there is some background noise, we are doing renovations in our home. So there are some noises you are going to hear. So you're not wondering if it's happening on your end just a heads up. In times of stress, they move towards the type six, the loyalist or skeptic, they become more anxious, they're looking to others for guidance, they become more passive, and inactive. When they are in a place of growth. The type three is what they move towards the achiever, they become more focused, action oriented, not looking to others to merge two buttons and putting themselves out there as they step into the truth that they are worth their own time and energy. The type nine has a reputation for being very sloth l...

The Type 8 is also known as the Maverick - they are confident, assertive and make natural leaders. Today I have three Type 8 moms sharing how their Enneagram type empowers them in their motherhood and how it shows up in stress. To open up I share some details on the Type 8: What motivates them How they move towards The Helper in times of growth How they move towards The Observer in times of stress The two other sides to the type 8 (the wings) What the Gut Triad is, how the Type 8 shows up in line with their intuition/gut Thank you to the moms who shared what their experience is as Type 8 moms - Stacie, Ellen and Melissa. You can find Melissa at Live with Audacity Join the Simple on Purpose Community to ask your questions around the enneagram and livng simple, on purpose. If you can't click links in these show notes then head to www.simpleonpurpose.ca and click LISTEN, you can find all the show notes and episode transcripts there. FULL TRANSCRIPT For those who are new welcome, I am Shawna, mom of three in small town Canada. I am a trained life coach, a certified transformational life coach, a certified bird nerd. And I wear that with a badge of honour even though my kids make fun of me. But I am proud to be the Lady Nerd that I am. So simple on purpose is a place where I want to help you simplify your home, your heart, your life, to slow down and show up for the things that really matter the most to you the things that you want to place the highest value on in your life. We've been covering a series on the enneagram, which is a self-discovery tool that looks at our inner motives. So lots of personality profiling will look at your outer behaviours and other qualities and other actions. But the enneagram takes us deeper, and it's looking at the things that are driving us. So we've been covering all of the types of the enneagram and hearing from mums, who are sharing a couple minutes on their experience of what it's like to be that type how their type empowers them, and how their type shows up under stress. Today we're hearing from three type eight mums. The type eight is also called the challenger or the maverick I really like that name, the maverick, the type eight is motivated by the need to feel strong and in control. And they want to avoid the feeling of being weak or powerless. You've heard me mentioned over these episodes about the wings, and we can take on qualities of the type right beside us. So the type A, it can take on the wing of the seven right beside at the adventure and be more spontaneous. It can also take on the wing of the peacemaker, the number nine right beside it and be more warm. When the type eight is in a place of growth and health. They move towards the qualities of a type to the helper. So they shift their energy towards caring, they become more tender-hearted, which can really feel vulnerable and scary to a type eight. But it allows them to show up to support to connect with others from a place of generosity and respect. When they are in a place of stress. They move towards the type five, the observer, things get overwhelming. They retreat, they strategize. They're collecting information and just trying to sort things out on how they can come back into the situation. If they stay in this place, they can probably become high strung and stop taking good care of themselves and their needs. I've also been sharing harmonic groups, and this is categorizing each of the enneagram types into different ways that they handle things when they don't go their way. The type eight is part of the reactive group, they want to express how they are feeling and measure the response of others. The type eight will want to express their powerful energy as a way to say that they're angry, something's wrong and also as a way of keeping their guard up, keeping a distance and avoid relying or becoming dependent on other people.

The Type 7 on the Enneagram is also called the Enthusiast, or Fun Ninjas (as my friend Julia coined them) They are spontaneous and open to new experiences. In this episode, two Type 7 moms share how their Enneagram type empowers them in motherhood and how it shows up in times of stress. I also discuss: What motivates the Type 7 What growth looks like as the move towards Type 5 What stress looks like as the move towards Type 1 How they handle it when things don't go their way through a positive reframing How noticing other Enneagram Types and learning about them helps us have more appreciation for the inner experience of other moms in our lives Ask Shawna questions about living simple, on purpose in the Simple on Purpose Facebook community Find Shawna on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend.ca. Welcome to simplify this podcast. This is a place for you to come if you want to simplify your home, your heart, your life, slow down, pay attention to what matters to you, what's important to you, what's in line with your personal values, and show up well for that. Today, we are covering the enneagram type seven, and I have some fun mom's sharing about being a type seven mum. The type seven is also called the adventure or the enthusiast, or fun ninjas, as my friend Julia has coined them, and I just love that name, hey, Julia, they are motivated by the need to be happy, have great experiences. And underneath that is a need to avoid pain or suffering. This is why they're always on the go to the next best thing. They're spontaneous. And for me as a type nine, who is very comfort bound, I have found so much freedom in learning about the type seven and seeing that there are people in the world who are comfortable with risk and excitement, even people like my own sister, it has made me love them more. And I just look to them to kind of be my fun Ninjas in my life. In stress, the type seven will move towards the qualities of a type one, they'll become critical, impatient, imposing limits on their own behaviors. When they are in a place of growth, they move towards the type five, the observer, they get more quiet and introspective, they can ride that anxiety that they often push away and start to make clear choices about what they want. For their harmonic groups, how they deal with things when things don't go their way. They take a positive outlook like the type two and the type nine, they are going to reframe the situation. And the type seven specifically wants to avoid seeing the problems around them in within them and instead focus on staying positive and happy and meeting their own needs. They're overwhelmed by the idea of meeting the needs of others. So they reframe things, and can have the stance to issues like there may be a problem, but I'm fine. So months ago, when I put out the call asking mums of different enneagram types to share their experience, you know who sent me one that night, a type seven, they are just ready to go. So let's hear from these two wonderful type sevens. Jacqueline and Sarah. Hi, I'm Jacqueline and I am a type seven on the enneagram. I am a mom to four daughters who range in age from seven to almost 13. Knowing my type on the enneagram has been really helpful for understanding myself. And I see being a seven having lots of positives and negatives. As a parent. For the positive, I'm very good at coming up with creative solutions and being flexible. My kids trade bedrooms frequently based on what happens to be working at the time and what people need. I don't feel particularly worried about changing my mind later. So I'm quick to try different solutions and thinking creatively. And I don't feel too committed to anything being long term. So if two kids are getting along great and feel lonely at bedtime, I'm don't have any trouble setting up a mattress on the floor so they can be together longer withou...

Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast! For moms on the go who want nuggets of information and encouragement that helps them live with more peace, purpose and presence in their daily lives. We are continuing with our series on the Enneagram and Motherhood where we hear from moms on what their motherhood experience is like through the lens of the Enneagram This episode is about the Type 6 Mom, also called the Loyalist or the Skeptic. In this episode, I explain: The common traits of the Type 6 Their need for support and guidance Their need for independence Being a skeptic and slow to trust Being a loyalist and putting your faith in the others who have the answers Type 6 living in their own head, with the worst-case scenario and projected fears How the Type 6 reacts when things don't go their way Their stress response (fight, flight and freeze) when faced with FEAR Growth for the Type 6, and stress for the Type 6 We hear from two wonderful moms sharing their experience, thank you to Tiffany and Kristin! Links: Listen to the Intro Episode, rundown of the 9 types of the Enneagram Ask any Enneagram questions in the Simple on Purpose Community Group Book a consult call to learn about life coaching with the Enneagram See all the episodes in this Enneagram and Motherhood Series See all the Show Notes for the podcast episodes FULL TRANSCRIPT Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple and purpose.ca Welcome to this simple on purpose podcast. For those of you who are new here, welcome. I am Shawna, I am a mom of three in small-town Canada. And I am a trained life coach who is passionate about helping moms show up for their lives show up Well. It is always my mission on every coaching call I have on every episode on everything I share, to help you look at your life in a little bit of a different way that brings you more peace, more purpose and more presence into your daily life. That is what I'm passionate about you showing up for your life and enjoying it because this is your life, you should enjoy it. So we are continuing on with the enneagram series. And if you're not sure what the enneagram is head back a few episodes to the run through of the nine basic types. It's called What are your motives or something like that? what's motivating you I forget. So I have shared each type in their own episode. And on each episode, we have moms sharing what their motherhood experiences like through the lens of the enneagram. So today, we are talking about the type six, the type six is known to be fearful. They're always thinking of the worst case scenario, they really live in their head with a lot of their fears and planning how to avoid them. And I think it can really be exhausting. When they're in their head like that some sixes also failed to see their real dangers of life, the real worst case scenarios, versus these mentally manufactured fears that kind of a runaway train that their brain can take them on. They are called the loyalist or the skeptic because of their relationship to others. They question and doubt themselves and often look to external sources for answers and guidance. But with skepticism, can I trust them? Can I trust what they're saying. And when they decide they can trust them, they are loyal to that person that authority that system. Something that is interesting is what the six does with fear, they fight flight or freeze so they might flight they might try to control their environment that's very typical of a six and planning and stressing and doing, they might fight they might go against fear head on, and this is called a counter phobic six, they're just gonna go right into it, just jump right in and address it just get it over with and then they might freeze they might just comply with the rules of the system, they can be very compliant when there is a culture or a system in place that t...

The Type 5 on the Enneagram is also called the Investigator. They are someone who is watching and observing and analyzing how everything works. They gather knowledge on how things work and how to navigate the world with their competence. They do have a focus on managing their own needs well so that they aren't reliant on others. Let's hear from Liz and Melissa on how being an Enneagram Type 5 empowers their motherhood and how it shows up in stress. When the Type 5 is in stress they move towards the Type 7 (adventurer) and become more restless and agitated. When they are in a place of growth they move towards the full body empowerment of a Type 8 (maverick). I also discuss the Harmonic Groups, this is how the Enneagram Types handle problems. The Type 5 belongs to the Competency Group, meaning they rely on logic (rather than emotion) to handle their problems. In this episode we will hear from Liz Squires, you can find her here at Fearless Birth Project And Melissa, from Enneagram Paths. Thank you, ladies, for sharing your motherhood journey with us and giving a voice to the Type 5 experience. Make sure to tag me in your Instagram and show some love to the ladies who have been coming on to share their stories! If you want to listen to the LIVE Q+A where I answer the difference between the Type 4 and Type 5 then head over to the Simple on Purpose Community group to watch it. FULL TRANSCRIPT I'm really excited to continue on this series that we're doing enneagram. And for those of you who haven't heard of the enneagram, and you want to go back and listen to it, head on back a few episodes to what are your motives. The enneagram looks at our motives, more than it looks at our outward behavior. Like being an introverted extrovert, it looks at why we're doing it instead of just what we're doing. It's a really fascinating tool that I love to use in my coaching, that has just helped me so much in my life, in my relationships in my parenting, I just have a lot of passion for it. I think it is very powerful and brings a lot of awareness to us in our showing up in our life. And you know, me, I'm all about showing up for life showing up well for your actual life. So today, we're covering the type five, also known as the observer, or the investigator. And I have a couple of great type fives sharing with me. One is one of my online friends, Liz Squires, and the other one is an enneagram coach herself, Melissa. So thank you to both of those ladies for being the type fives who will come out of the shell, and share with us today. So the type five, the observer, there's someone who are always watching, they're always observing and analyzing how the world works, they really want to figure it out. So that they can use this knowledge as a way of making themselves capable and competent in the world. They long to be capable and competent. And they are also someone who has a skill of reducing their own needs, so that they are not reliant on other people, they keep their needs very minimal and meet them themselves. So when the type five is in a place of stress, they move towards the type seven, they become restless, agitated, distracted, scattered. When they are in a place of growth and strength, they move towards the type eight, and more so in that they take on the confidence in the empowered stands of a type eight, as they kind of fill up their whole body full of empowerment, because the type five lives in their head a lot. They want to be capable, they want to figure things out, they rely a lot on thinking about it, figuring it out, finding a way, and they spend a lot of time in their mind. So when they are in a place of strength, they're going to occupy their entire body and their mind as well. As I've explained in the past episodes, we're talking about the harmonic groups. And these are categorized in the enneagram types by how they solve their problems.

The Type 4 on the Enneagram is also called the Individualist, or the Romantic. They have a reputation of being artistic, expressive and willing to feel a range of emotions. Which I think makes them very brave and they hold a lot of space for those in suffering and those who long to express themselves. The Type 4 is part of the reactive group when it comes to dealing with problems. This means they respond/express themselves and look for an emotional response from those around them. A Type 4 craves been seen and supported in these times. Which makes them so adept at expression and emotional attunement. When in a place of growth the Type 4 will move towards the Type 1 and become more objective and practical. When in stress they will move towards the Type 2 and become clingy and look for reassurance from others. Thank you to the two moms sharing their experience with us today. Thank you Shawna and Laura. You can find Laura at Fjord Creative. In the Simple on Purpose Community group, I did a LIVE Q+A on the Enneagram and one of the questions I answered was how to tell the difference between the Type 4 and the Type 5. Head here if you want to see it (and other lives) And to join the Simple Saturdays email (it is FUN email that comes out twice a month!) sign up for that right here FULL TRANSCRIPT At simple on purpose, I am all about helping you simplify your life, whether it is your home, your heart, your general life, so that you can slow down, pay attention to the things that matter most to you, and show up well for them. I want you to enjoy your life, I want you to enjoy motherhood, enjoy your job, enjoy your home, I want you to enjoy the life you actually have. We are continuing on this week with our series on the enneagram and motherhood. And today I have a couple of type fours sharing. The type fours are also called the individualist or the romantic, they are very expressive, they are known as artistic types, they are known as people who can just hold a lot of emotional space, they're very open to experiencing and feeling and making space for their whole emotional range, which I think makes them very brave. When a type four is under stress, and they're not feeling very healthy, they're going to move towards the qualities of a type two, they are going to be clingy and look for reassurance look to a lot of the people around them for reassurance and validation. When they are in a healthier place, they move towards the qualities of the type one not so much the perfectionist and critical qualities, but the qualities of the type one that allow them to step out of that fantasy world in their mind, and come in and engage in the real life world to be more objective, and to apply themselves to whatever they want to do with a more practical approach rather than an emotional repro approach. So I've been explaining the harmonic groups through these episodes. And that is how each type deals with problems when things don't go their way. And the type fours are part of the reactive group, which means they are the enneagram types, who will react strongly and look for a response from others. So they're very expressive. When a type four is handling problems, and things aren't going their way they seek being seen, they seek someone who can understand them and support them, because they really fear that no one is going to support them and care for them. So they have different strategies depending on how healthy they're feeling with how they will do that. But Hudson and Riso again, I'm referencing The Wisdom of the Enneagram book, they have this motto that the type four adopts with how they deal with problems, and it is I feel really hurt and I need to express myself. So expressing themselves is a way that they are seen in the world. And the type fours are known for a lot of amazing artistic achievements in our world. And like I said,

The Type 3 on the Enneagram is also known as the Achiever or the Performer. They are motivated by a need to be successful and they are natural checklist-makers and goal getters. What is it like to be a Type 3 Mom? I have three Type 3 moms sharing their experience on how their type empowers them and how it shows up in times of stress. When a Type 3 is in stress they take on the qualities of the Type 9 and become more detached and apathetic and stubborn. When they are in a place of growth they move towards the qualities of the Type 6 and become more cooperative and a team player focussed on the greater good rather than the personal goal. When a Type three faces a challenge they apply logic to solve the problem. They are part of the Competency Group. They detach from their feelings by staying in an active role to work on the goal and "figure it out". I think the Type 3s offer us a lot of encouragement to 'raise the bar' and I know that myself, as a Type 9, looks to the energy and drive of the Type 3 in my life to encourage me with that. If you want coaching by your Enneagram type, book a consult call to learn more. Thank you to these three wonderful moms who shared today! Thank you, Veronica, Shannon and Stef (You can find Stef Gass at the Mompreneur Mastermind Podcast) Full transcript Hey friends, it's Shawna,your nerdy girlfriend and Life Coach from simple on purpose.ca. This is the podcast for the busy mom on the go, I aim to keep all of the episodes under 20 minutes. And I want to just jam-packed them with ideas and stories and information on how you can simplify your life, slow down and show up for your life on purpose being very purposeful, very, very intentional with the life you want to build into and how you want to show up in it every single day. So we're continuing on with the enneagram series and we're covering enneagram threes. Today I have three mums sharing about a bit about their motherhood experience as being in an enneagram three. The Enneagram Type 3 is also called the achiever, they get things done, they like goals, they have their checklists, and I love the threes my husband's a three. And since we learned each other's enneagram types over the years, I have so much more appreciation for the qualities that he brings into our life, our family, our marriage as a three that I don't just naturally have on my own. So when a three is in stress, when they're feeling stressed out, they're not at their healthiest, they move towards a type nine, which is called the peacemaker. But at the nine at their more unhealthy qualities, they are very disengaged, they're stubborn, they're apathetic, they're very withdrawn. When a type three is in a place of health, they're feeling like they're showing up with healthy motives from a healthy place, they move towards the type six, the loyalist, they become more of a team player, they're more cooperative, they're more committed to the goal of the good of the group rather than their own personal self image and having to meet a goal that will satisfy that The type three is part of the competency group. And I've been explaining that there's our harmonic groups, which is the way that we deal with things when they don't go our way. And then each of the enneagram types are grouped into one of these three groups, these harmonic groups, and the type three belongs to the competency group. I know I'm saying group a lot in my confusing, but the competency group are the enneagram types that will solve their problems using logic more than feelings. And a type three is well known to be really out of touch with their feelings, they use staying busy and achievement as a way of kind of not paying attention to it kind of repressing it. So when a type three is faced with a problem, they're going to focus on being efficient, being capable taking action, just focus on the goals.

The Type 2 on the Enneagram is also known as The Helper. For this reason, a lot of us can identify as a possible Type 2 - especially in North America where this is a cultural expectation that women are 'helpers'. This can lead to people-pleasing, but not all people-pleasers are Type 2s. Some things that set the Enneagram Type 2 apart: They cope with problems by focussing on the needs of others rather than themselves Their relationships are built with a culture of 'helping' They find their value in helping others I explain what the Type 2 can look like in times of growth and in times of stress. I also outline how to differentiate a common mistype with Type 9s. Three moms are sharing their experience of being a Type 2 mom and outlining what feels like a struggle and what feels like a strength for them when it comes to motherhood. Thank you to Louise, Aimee and Jessica for sharing with us! You can find Louise here. You can find Jessica right here. Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and make a purchase I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. Links: The Wisdom of the Enneagram book Get answers to your questions about the Enneagram in the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group Book a consult call to learn about life coaching with the Enneagram Share your Enneagram + Motherhood Experience, looking to hear from types 5,6,7,8 and 9 - message me if you are up for it Episode Transcript Hey friends, it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach from Simple on Purpose. This is the podcast for the mom on the go, I aim to keep all of the episodes short to the point and filled with tips and advice and insight to help you simplify slow down and show up for your life because this is your life, you should enjoy it. Today we're continuing on with the type twos of the enneagram the type two mamas who are sharing their experience of what it is like to be a type two. And if the enneagram is new to you head back a couple of episodes I do a run through on all of the nine types of the enneagram. So the type two also known as the helper, as I mentioned before, there are directions we take when we are in growth and directions we take when we are in stress, and the type two will move towards the type for when they are in a healthy place in their growing and they will become more self nurturing, more sensitive, more recognizing of their own needs their own desires, in a way more self actualizing and self aware. When they are under stress, they move towards a type eight, the rebel the maverick and they become more aggressive and more argumentative. As you listen to these three moms. Today you're going to hear Louise mentioned that she takes on the type three traits. Since type three is right beside the type two, you can pick up qualities of the type right beside you this these are called the wings. So she takes on type three traits and the type three is the achiever. Now the type two is a type that many of us can identify with naturally, because it's called the helper and in North America, we have this culture that women are helpers. In fact, many of us even want to be viewed as a helper and we will become people pleasers. Now I coach a lot of people pleasers, but not all of them are type twos, there is a little bit of digging, we have to do underneath all of that underneath the behavior of being a people pleaser. One really common mistake because this is my own is that a type nine can mistyped themselves as a type two. And on the surface type nine in type two can look very similar. They tend to merge with what others want. They come across as very supportive of others. But what sets the type two apart is that you're helping others as a way to secure their value with them. A type nine will help others in order to avoid conflict or disconnect. I like to think of it as a type nine will offer support.

I have three moms sharing a few minutes each about their experience of motherhood as being a Type 1 on the Enneagram. As part of a series I am doing on all the nine enneagram types called Enneagram + Motherhood Type 1s are also called the Perfectionist or Reformer. I am explaining a bit more details about Type 1s and taking referencing information taught in the Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso and Hudson Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. When it comes to dealing with problems or not getting their way, they rely on COMPETENCY. In Enneagram talk: they are part of the Competency Group when it comes to their Harmonic Style. I briefly explain with this means and what it looks like for the Type 1. I also explain what growth and stress look like for an Enneagram Type 1. These are called the Line of Integration (what you do when you are emotionally healthy) and Line of Disintegration (what you do when you are unhealthy and stressed). Then we hear from three moms who are so kind to share their own self-awareness and insights into the struggles and strengths of being a Type 1. I love that they also share how they manage the hurdles and I have helpful takeaways from what they share. Thank you, Louise, Jacquie and Liz for sharing your experience with us! You can find Louise at Talk Nerdy to Me and you can find Liz at Glow Are you a type 5,6,7,8 or 9 who wants to share their motherhood experience? If so, then message me on Instagram and let me know! Ask your Enneagram questions in the Facebook community Get coached by your Enneagram Type with Shawna Scafe, Certified Coach Practitioner and Transformational Life Coach Full transcript (unedited) Hey, friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. And I'm just gonna dive right in because we are talking about the enneagram. And I have three amazing moms who have recorded and shared with me with their experience in motherhood is like as being a type one. type one also called the perfectionist, the reformer. So if you've listened to the last episode, if not, I encourage you to go do that I run through the nine types. And now moving forward, I'm going to share these voices of these moms by enneagram type on what their motherhood experience is like. So first of all, thank you mamas, thank you for sharing. Thank you for giving a voice to this, I found this whole experience so enlightening, to listen to each type and just sit with it. And, and I love that these moms are also offering how they deal with the stressors in their life by their type. So you're going to hear in from these three moms, Jackie is going to mention that she moves in growth to a type seven as a type one, when they're in growth, they move towards a type seven. So I mentioned in the last episode, that whatever type you are, when you are in a place of growth, and emotionally healthy, you will move to another type on the enneagram, you'll pick up the positive qualities of that type. And when you are in a place of stress, you're going to move to another number on the enneagram. These are called the lines, the lines of disintegration and the lines of integration. But I'll just call them stress and growth. So the type one, when it is in a place of growth, it moves towards a type seven, it becomes more impulsive, more joyful, more spontaneous. When it isn't a place of stress, it moves towards type four, it becomes irrational, a little bit more Moody, I'm also going to share with each of these episodes, something you don't hear often. And that is the harmonic groups, also called the coping groups. And this is how each of the types deal with problems deal with not getting their way. And the type one is part of the competency groups. So when they have a problem, they are going to deal with it by being correct and organ...

One tool I use in my life coaching is the Enneagram. It is a self-discovery tool that brings more awareness to your stress habits, your strengths, your behaviour patterns and it is all based on your MOTIVES - why you are doing something, what you are avoiding or moving towards. Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. I have been working on a series of episodes that feature moms sharing their motherhood experience through the lens of the Enneagram. To introduce this series I wanted to give you a brief rundown of the Enneagram types - as it pertains to their motives. What their desires and fears for all of the nine enneagram types. If you want a more thorough explanation of all the 9 Enneagram Types then head to episode 17: Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) In this episode, I reference Richard Rohr, an OG Enneagram Teacher whose book I am citing. You can find his book right here. To get support: Ask me questions about the Enneagram or finding your type in the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community Get life coaching from Shawna using the Enneagram as a tool for personal growth Message me on Instagram to share your Enneagram + Motherhood Experience Full episode transcript: Hello friends and welcome I am Shawna your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose. And this is the place for you if the clutter feels like too much if life feels too busy if motherhood is overwhelming if your marriage feels like it's slipping, these are all signs to us that we've been living on autopilot, just letting life happen at us, rather than us being in the driver's seat, being proactive, being intentional, and I know, because I've been there. Three and a half years into motherhood. I was three kids in and I learned about minimalism and decided to declutter my home. As I did that, I realized I've been living my whole life on autopilot, just letting it pile up, just letting it happen. And I wanted to take control, I wanted to live on purpose. I wanted to take action and build a life, the home the relationships and mindsets that I craved, the one that God made me for, I wanted to set a vision for my life, I wanted to show up for my life, based on my personal values who I want it to be. So if you are on this journey, then let me come alongside you. I am a mom of three, I am a trained life coach, and your nerdy girlfriend who believes that this is our life, we should enjoy it. Let's dig in. Today, I'm going to open up a series I'm going to do on parenting through the enneagram the enneagram if you haven't heard it, and I'm sure you have because it's having a day, the enneagram is a self-discovery tool. So it's kind of like Myers brigg, or disk. But the enneagram looks a lot at our inner motives. What is driving us and what we desire. What we are motivated by that is powerful stuff. So it's not just like you're an introvert extrovert, it's like, what is driving you underneath that? Are you driven by success, or by needing to help people or by needing to keep the peace, there's different motivations we have. Although our outward actions might look very similar, we're doing one thing, but driven towards it for a different reason. So on this episode, I'm going to run through very quickly the nine types. And then the following episodes I'm going to share with you other moms sharing their experience on what it's like to be that enneagram type and how it shows up in their parenting. And I will say for types 123. And maybe four, I have about three moms each, each of those types. The other ones, I just have one mom. So if you are a type 56789 and I think even a four, and you would like to share a couple minutes of your experience as parenting through that enneagram type, please get in touch with me, you can find me on Instagram at simple on purpose.ca.

What if I need it one day? Ask this question can leave you holding onto a lot of items that you really don't 'need' in your life. From old magazines, to old chargers, to clothes, to kitchen gadgets. This is a fear-based question that gives us some anxiety and then we make our decisions from this anxious place rather than from a place of abundance and the desire to fill our home with LIFE-GIVING things. In this episode, I will walk you through how this question has held me back and how I have coached myself to new questions that bring me more freedom and peace in decluttering. Links to topics mentioned on this episode: The Finnish Way (great book on the art of SISU - on my list of Cozy Faves) The Simple on Purpose Facebook Community Group (see past Q+A Lives *make sure to answer the entry questions) Identity Clutter (read the post here) Scarcity vs Abundance (the not-enough mindset, on this episode) The Simple Saturdays Email (sign up for the FUN bi-weekly email!) Renae's Great Clutter Clear Out Challenge (sign up for the free 5-day challenge) Full episode transcript (unedited) Hey friends at Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach. From Simple on Purpose.ca This is our time where we stop, slow down, simplify, remove the drams and distractions on our lives so that we can show up for what matters the most to us show up with more peace, more purpose and presence for our actual lives. I'm so glad you're here. If it's your first time here, welcome. I'm Shawna I am a mom of three who decided that I would try out minimalism years ago, and it just sent me on this to jet trajectory. It's hard to declutter my home, which turned me into decluttering my life and my heart. And I am a trained life coach helping other women do the same show up for their lives with more purpose, peace and presence. So how have you been this January, where I live in British Columbia, where I live, it's icy. And you might know I walk my kids to the school bus every morning. It's a few blocks away, but we have to go down this hill. And I'm just like, submitted to it, I sit on my butt, I got my snow pants on and I slide down that hill, like I get speed, I end up like bumping into my daughter and pushing her down to. So I'm going to wear out the butt on my snow bands. It's fine. I'm still having fun. I'm showing up for that. I just love sledding, it is so much fun. Even if it's my only way of protecting my body from fall I just go with it, I'm going to fall in advance. So that's life here where I live in BC, we still have a little bit of a winter hanging on. And that's fine. I don't mind it. I really love getting out in the morning and walking the kids to school. Sometimes I even get my active minutes that way. But it's just such a nice way to start the day, I have a personal goal to get outside every single day. And a book that really inspired me to do this is a book called The Finnish way. The Finnish art of C Su and si su is that term for just real grit and persistence and not taking the easy way out. And that book just changed my whole view on how of lightweight I am. One other thing that I started doing since I read that book is I will zap myself with cold water in the shower. Just try and build up my tolerance to cold water. There's so many good endorphins that are released in your body when you are dunked in cold water. So I just want to hit it that I want to hit those good old endorphins. So that's my own personal challenge. I'm totally going off topic. Here's the topic I want to talk about today. decluttering things in your home when you think what if I need that one day? This was a question that was asked in the Facebook group recently because I said, Bring me all your questions I want to do a live. And that question is when I have too much to say on like I have a whole post on it. But I wanted to bring it back here, elaborate on it and share an episode with you here. By the way,

Welcome to the New Year friends! This is the time we feel this resolution to make things new, as we flip over the calendar. There is a lot of thought given to resolutions, goals and habits to make. And all of that is good - when it is in line with your LIFE ON PURPOSE Life on Purpose is turning off the autopilot - being reactive, just living on default. When we do the things we have always done, thing what we have always thought we will keep getting more of the same. Do you like where you autopilot life is taking you? Or do you want to redirect it? Life on Purpose is living with INTENTION, and it needs two things: knowing who you want to be, how you want to show up (values) knowing where you want to go (vision) I will share with you my strategy for setting out my yearly goals and habits. And remember, all of this work is NOT about overhauling your whole life and getting to 100% in all nine areas of your life, it is about being someone who does simple meaningful things, consistently, towards their vision and values. Steps to plan out your yearly goals and habits Values - take time to get clear on your personal values Vision - write out what you want and long for and aspire to in the nine areas of your life Home, family, love, friendships, health, work, inner expression, outer expression, finances Take stock, evaluate where you are right now. This helps you set a path on the direction to take forward. Ask: What is working? What is not? What do I want more of? What do I want less of? Combine these (values, vision, evaluation) to identify the goals and habits that will move you towards your vision and values in this area of your life. Some of my goals and habits I want to do in 2021 We have been doing this work for the past five years and continue to modify and refine where we want to go and how we want to get there. In this episode, I am sharing some of the goals and habits I am setting for this year ahead: Home: filing papers, digitizing kid's artwork, routine deep cleanings Kids: family meetings, hikes (with friends! Which combines my family vision and friend vision for the year) Health: last year I worked a lot of sleep and vegetables. This year I am working on movement and nourishing lunches Outer: get outside (daily), make music easier (piano project) Inner: devotion goals, reading a book a month, memorizing scripture Finances: making more debt-free purchases, more detailed tracking of expenses I also answered some of the questions sent in to me about planning life on purpose: How to pick the values and vision God has for my life? How do I get my husband more involved in setting goals and habits together? What planner do you use? I feel overwhelmed about planning my life on purpose, where do I even start? Ways to get support with intentional living this year The Life on Purpose Roadmap. A self-guided course that addresses the hurdles, excuses and distractions that keep you from knowing what you want, planning it and taking action on it. The Life on Purpose Academy. Weekly group coaching calls for the next ten weeks. This gives you support, accountability, consistency and so much insight into what holds you back and how to keep moving forward. Remember that doing all of this is about SHOWING UP for yourself, not about overhauling your life. Small things matter the most, so choose the small things that will move you closer to your vision and values. Planning your life on purpose, more resources mentioned in the episode Permission to grieve blog post Are you stuck on autopilot? episode Live your values free worksheets Live your vision free worksheets The Life on Purpose Workbook The GO CLEAN Instagram account How empathy can transform your parenting episode Family meetings blog post and mentioned on this episode The Life on Purpose Roadmap self-paced course

One thing I hear moms tell me they want is to be MORE PRESENT. We know that in our daily life we have a lot of distractions pulling our attention away. And this is a problem when we are being pulled away from the tasks and people that are meaningful to us. Being a present parent allows us to engage, pour into and ENJOY our kids - and this has been a struggle of mine over the years - and a struggle I coach other moms through I polled my Facebook community on what keeps them from slowing down and being present - and the feedback was a resounding 'the mental to-do list!'. That streaming list in the back of our minds of 'what we SHOULD be doing RIGHT NOW!'. I call this the mental chatter. I also call this a thought trap - an autopilot thought keeping us stuck in a pattern that isn't serving us and making our lives better. Why do we want to be more present in our parenting and life? To nurture/improve our relationships To become more aware of what is available for us to enjoy in the here and now To be more relaxed rather than ruminating on the past or spinning with anxiety about the future To be more mindful and proactive rather than on autopilot and reactive You might want more presence if you feel like: Your phone gets more attention than the people in your life You feel disconnected from others or your life You are often mentally distracted You really aren't enjoying what is happening, you kinda just numb and coast right through it The number on reason being present is hard is because of the MENTAL CHATTER. I want you to harness the power of the CBT model to see that your thoughts create your feelings and your feeling create your behaviour. I have an example of how I made a MINDSET shift that changed how I showed up during quarantine in a way that made me feel OPEN rather than made me feel constant rushed. Tips for slowing down and showing up to be more present as a mom, and in your life: Brain dump - declutter your brain Prioritize - this is a list of OPTIONS, now it is time to MAKE CHOICES Scheduling what NEEDS to be done - scheduling it in brings you freedom because you know there is time for what needs to get done Removing the distractions - from the phone to your time to your space Be proactive with what you will show up for - plan out specific activities/time frames that you will commit to showing up for Helpful links Listen to Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness Listen to Why you are too busy (by enneagram type) Blog post on Do Life Better with a Brain Dump Join the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook group Sign up for the Simple Saturdays bi-weekly (FUN/HELPFUL) email Full episode transcript Welcome to the Simple on Purpose podcast. This is a place for you, Mama, to come and feel refreshed. Because if you are going through your life, feeling resentful, feeling frustration, this is a sign you've been on autopilot letting life just happen to you instead of living it on purpose. And I say that because I've been there. I have been there - when I realized I was living my life on autopilot just building up this life of stuff and reactions and relationships that I didn't really want. I wanted something different. I wanted a life of action and purpose. I wanted to parent with presence and peace. I wanted to enjoy my husband, my kids myself. This all took me on a journey to simplify, slow down and show up for my life on purpose. So today we're going to talk about presence. And do you ever have those weekends where you kind of like solo parenting? For me, my husband works a week on a week off. So for that one week, I am just all in momming so hard. And the weekends feel extra long. This past weekend, my daughter and my son, my oldest son, both had the opportunity to be what we call king or queen for the day. So we've been doing this sticker chart thing for over a year. And they really like it.

'How are things going?' 'Oh, they are busy'. How often are you talking about how BUSY you are? How often do you find yourself thinking you wish you had more time for other things. How often do you end your day feeling drained and worn and maybe resentful. Busyness might be a cycle you are spinning in. And it is a common cycle for moms to be on - because we have a culture that tells how busy is a badge of honour while simultaneously throwing memes of frazzled moms in our face. In this episode we unpack BEING TOO BUSY, all of this is a primer to the next episode on being more present. Main points on why you are too busy Our culture glorifies busy, and there are some signs that we have bought into it. One of them being that feel like we never have enough time Busy is that feeling when we get when we feel our life demands are more than the energy we have Being busy isn't so much a problem with how we manage our time, but also a problem with how we manage what is purposeful. We aren't using our time and energy purposefully Yet we are still busy because somehow, it serves us. Being busy allows us to chase a feeling or avoid a feeling Each enneagram type can be busy for different reasons. We respond to 'busy' with 'productivity' but we are often missing the 'purpose' Simple solutions for moms to manage the busy feeling braindump, prioritize, make time for what matters Long term management of busy means knowing who you are and what you want in life, and setting your time and energy in line with that. LINKS The enneagram 101 Download the 'Busy By Enneagram Type' PDF Join the Simple on Purpose community Sign up for the Simple Saturdays bi-weekly email Full episode transcript Hey, friends, This is the simple on purpose podcast. And if you're new here, welcome. This is a podcast, I aim to keep short to the point and full of motivation and ideas on new ways to approach your everyday life. So that you can show up for your whole life without overhauling IT shop for your whole life where it is right now, and feel like you're showing up on purpose. Today, I want to talk about busy and I was about to record an episode on being present. And I just had so much to say on the opposite of present, which is busyness that I thought it deserved an intro of its own. Why are we so busy? There is such thing as the glorification of busy, where we have a culture around us that glorifies busy. Some things to look out for yourself, if you are buying into the glorification of busy are: you talk about how busy you are, you feel like you do a lot, but you don't get a lot done after an active day you feel drained, maybe even resentful, instead of invigorated and purposeful. you feel like you never have enough time. And that's the thing is busy is something that we feel we feel busy when our life demands more than the energy we have. So the problem is more how we manage our energy, and how we manage our life demands. But we don't really get to that place where we're questioning, oh, how am I managing my life and my energy we don't, we're just busy. This culture of busy this badge of honor, and even busy in our leisure time where we spend it on our phone instagramming texting emails. If you feel like you are too busy, the first thing I want to encourage you to do is stop saying you're busy. It really makes you the victim, it perpetuates the helpless feeling of it. And if anything, that's a great reason to stop saying because it makes you feel helpless when you talk about how busy you are. Because being busy. what's underneath that is that we haven't been very mindful about what we choose to do we do more and more. And often, they're not the things that we truly crave that that are leading us to the life that feels freeing and full. We haven't been mindful about what's important to say yes to and what we shouldn't say no to,

Empathy with other adults can feel differently than it does between us and kids. This is often because our emotions are used as currency, as power. And also because we are raised to stigmatize negative and uncomfortable emotions. So why should we make an effort to master empathy? How can it really improve our connections in our marriage and friendships? The full transcript is at the end of this post. In this podcast episode I'm sharing: Why empathy is hard in a marriage When both partners are in a stressed state because they are dealing with frustrations and negative emotions Assuming the worst case scenario vs getting curious from a place of love Empathy's role at bringing us back to the same team rather Giving and receiving empathy The difference between empathy and sympathy Empathy fatigue and holding space for others The scale of an empathetic reaction: too much, not enough When you constantly want to change someone else, how can empathy help? Join the Simple Squad in the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community Learn more about life coaching with Shawna, Certified Coach Practitioner and certified in Transformational Life Coaching Full episode transcript This is the Simple on Purpose Podcast, where I'm here encouraging you mamas to love what matters - to make time for what matters - make space for what matters - make energy for what matters. In the last episode, we talked about empathy, the two types of empathy, emotional empathy, and cognitive empathy, having empathy in our relationships, specifically in parenting. Being empathetic parents how it's not a form of enabling bad behaviour, but a form of creating a connection point and a way of changing the relationship dynamic where it's the one that handles tough emotions together, rather than punishing them, avoiding them, resisting them or reacting to them. Today, I want to continue on with empathy, as we can use it in our marriage and in our friendships. Empathy is having an appreciation, almost feeling the feelings of someone else. Empathy is saying, I know what you're feeling, I can see that I can understand that. It can go even further into compassion, where I have compassion for how you're feeling, but empathy in a marriage, what does that look like? Because often, we have feelings for what we think their feelings are, do you know what I mean? Like we assume the worst so that they're acting this way. And it means all these horrible things. And, and they're just doing this because they're selfish and, and all that matters to them is work and all of these other things, we fill in the blank with the worst-case scenario. So when it comes to marriage, having empathy means, often asking, asking them, what's happening for them, asking ourselves what's happening for us, because we need empathy for us too. And when it comes to two adults, having empathy in a relationship where emotions are almost power, that emotions can be used as a currency. And this generation that we're in many of us adults, now we're raised to stigmatize negative emotions, to be uncomfortable with them. So if my partner is uncomfortable with something, he's in his own mind, fighting that discomfort, that stress, and I am uncomfortable by his discomfort and my own discomfort that I've caused by my own thoughts about the whole thing, we're both in a stress mode, we are ready to fight, we're defensive or offensive. Empathy is really hard in the situation. In marriage, empathy can look like a lot of things. But for me, it often looks like me asking, why would this be hard for him? There was a lot of years where I thought he's overworking. He's working too much 'All that matters is work'. And I can ask myself why and I come up with these negative assumptions. Or I could ask him, 'why is it so important to you?', I might learn he feels pressure to provide for us and at a certain level,

I have been coaching women who shy away from empathy in their motherhood and relationships. Sometimes this is because they can't see it as a part of a solution, maybe it doesn't come naturally to them. Most often we don't bring empathy into parenting because we don't want to enable our kids or express any permissiveness of their poor behaviour. I want to unpack what empathy is, the two types of it, and how to bring it into your parenting without using it as a way to enable poor behaviour. Empathy can increase our connection and relationship - which helps us work on conflict resolution together. Find the full transcript at the end of this post (Books or products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.) This is part one. In this episode we cover: The two types of empathy How empathy helps make our lives better The phenomenon of having empathy for 'the bad guy' Empathy is not enabling Empathy is not the silver bullet solution to conflict with our kids How empathy teaches our kids emotional intelligence How expressing empathy to our children helps them offer it to others Empathy helps us both deal with the discomfort of their negative emotions The book I mention in this episode is Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman I have a thorough book summary on that book right here I also mentioned SISU, which is a Finnish concept of grit and resilience. It is from a great book I read a couple of years ago called The Finnish Way. Sign up for information about one-on-one life coaching with Shawna Scafe - Certified Coach Practitioner & Certified in Transformational Life Coaching. FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT If you're new here a little bit about me, I am a mom of three kids in small-town, Canada. I am a life coach, a minimalist mom. And I started out my career as a health inspector, very underwhelming job. And I gave that up once my second child was born, to stay at home with them, which evolved into me being here, somehow just taking step after step, idea after idea down the road, to where now I am life coaching women and helping them show up for their lives. That's my whole goal for you, is to give you some freedom and power to show up for your life to enjoy your life. No matter where you are, even if you're knee-deep with toddlers, or you're balancing work life and mom life. I want to help you show up well for your life. As I mentioned, I am in small town Canada and our province is going into another wave of COVID restrictions, we're entering into another time of somewhat isolation, but not as extreme as last March. So we're really relying again on what we can do outside even though it's cold, and there's snow around. Getting outside for walks is a huge thing. Last week, I took my daughter for a walk and we walked an hour right across town, the sun was shining, it was beautiful. And I don't know about you, but I feel like with my kids, if I pour into them one on one, just being with them just I had to just walk with her and listen to her, it was easy, that she is so much more receptive to me so much more warm with me that it just, it makes us such a stronger connection. And I think that's so important when your kid is maybe pulling away like she'll sometimes do that pulling them a bit closer, is going to keep them closer, and I'm going to talk about something today that's really going to help with this. I'm going to talk about empathy. And it's something that I've been coaching on and I'm hearing more and more moms and women are shying away from using empathy in their relationships. And maybe because it doesn't seem like a possible step towards a solution. Maybe it feels like empathy would make things permissible, and it's almost accepting of people's poor behaviour. Maybe empathy doesn't come natural,

Hey friends! Let's have a momfriend coffee date - grab a warm drink and sit with me, Your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach. Well this, is a coffee date for all friends really - mom or not. Because I want to have some lady chat about things I am trying, loving, watching and enjoying. Plus I have some special encouragement for you on feeling like you are behind, or you are not where you should be. The full episode transcript is at the end of this post. THE CURRENTLY LIST! This list has a lot of fun links! Some of these links will be affiliate links through Amazon. As an amazon associate, I make a small commission from your purchase at NO cost to you. My current planner for this year I was using the Pipsticks + Workman planner and really liked it (it is cute, fun, and has lots of habit tracking spots). Especially the monthly recap page in each monthly section. This year I am trying out the Happy Planner. It always takes some time to get used to a new planner. Watching Back In Time For Dinner is a show we have found on the GEM app, through CBC. It follows a family as they spend a week living in a past decade, from the 1940s-2000. Reading Educated by Tara Westover Wearing I am at the age where I splurge on clothes at Costco and am feeling pretty happy with my recent sock purchase. If this isn't screaming middle aged mid-class woman I don't know what else will! Also, I'm loving the simplicity of a long sleeve black tee - it can pair with most anything. I have made a challenge for myself to not buy any more clothes for the winter (until spring). Preparing I'm prepping an advent activity calendar. In the past, I had done this when the kids were toddlers. Here's a post of toddler advent activity ideas to make your own little advent calendar of fun things to look forward to. The Jesus Storybook Bible and their advent guide for reading the stories in December Eating Roasted Squash with bacon (pin the recipe right here) The cookbook for all that has some of the best gluten free baking I've ever had! Canelle et Vanille by Aran Goyoaga. Our family fave are the Buckwheat Crepes. Doing I've been doing a lot of sitting - work is a sedentary activity for me. So I am challenging myself to do the the seven minute workout on Alexa (say 'Alexa, start seven minute workout'). Here is a very similar one on Youtube. Don't get stuck in all or nothing thinking when it comes to moving your body each day. Every little bit counts! This week's encouragement to you You are never behind. You are exactly where you need to be, because that is where you are. Stop looking at all you 'could' do and turning those 'coulds' into 'shoulds' it takes away your power. Here is what is available to you. Opportunities, growth, connection, is available to you right here. Don't rush it or avoid it. Stay with it. Full episode transcript Hey friends I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome to the podcast for the mom who wants to slow down, simplify and show up for her life on purpose. So I've been kind of sitting on this podcast episode idea for a while to share what I call the currently list. And the currently list is that what I'm currently doing and enjoying and eating and making. It's something that I would share in the simple Saturdays newsletter from time to time. And then I just kind of sat on it, I thought, nobody's really interested in the random things I'm doing with my life. And then I had a phone call this morning with one of my best friends who I talked to like every six months, you know, those best friends who have just been part of your life for so long, that you can just pick up every six months and run through an hour of everything. And we talked about everything we talked about our parents, period, underwear, the books, we're reading what our cats are doing, like our mom life experience.

This Christmas won't be like the ones you have curated and cherished. This is a holiday during a pandemic and we are having a universal experience of learning what that can look like. As moms, we do most of the Christmas planning. We have gifts lists, treats, parties planned, gatherings set up. This job is often an exhausting one but one that we go through every year because we are always longing for those special moments of joy, hope and connectedness that are possible. Christmas during covid means the plans we make, the gatherings, the parties are all going to look different. That is hard to accept. We long for what we know and what feels like Christmas to us. This year means teaching ourselves new ways to feel Christmas. If you are like most moms, and myself, it is a hard task to think outside the box, beyond our expectations and get excited about something different when we have this idea in our mind of what Christmas SHOULD be. The first step here is to acknowledge your expectations. Because here is the issue - we have a lot of expectations - about who does what and how they act and how they feel, and what we will get to do, and all the ideals we have in the back of our mind. We might not be fully aware of them. But trying to be proactive by noticing them before they go unmet (=resentment) the more we can manage them ahead of time. This includes letting unrealistic ones go, AND taking responsibility for making them happen. In this episode: Handling your Christmas expectations Where 'all or nothing thinking' can keep you stuck and blocked off Two things that can bring more intentionality into your Christmas: values and the bucket list How to use these two things in a way that works for you and your family Letting yourself feel disappointed about the Christmas you had hoped for Finding ways to take your power back and plan a Christmas you can get excited about All of this is unpacked in the Simple Christmas Planner. Which is designed to walk you through designing, planning and DOING your Christmas with intention and in a way that works for you and your family. Because the goal is to have a Christmas season that you can SHOW UP for, one that you can feel present for, one that you can actively enjoy in the moment! This doesn't JUST HAPPEN, you need to do it with intention. Full transcript at the bottom of this post. Links mentioned: The Live your VALUES worksheets The Facebook community group Say hi on Instagram The ON PURPOSE workbooks (Simple Christmas Planner) Episode Transcript Episode main topics: Christmas, expectations, planner, kids, plan, values, Christmases, year, excited, happen, podcast, family, simple, talk, list, intentional, feel, purposeful, bucket list, purpose Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast! This podcast is your check-in your regular reminder, your regular coffee date with me, where I remind you to bring it all back to simplify, slow down and show up for your life, the life right in front of you, you are allowed to enjoy it. Today I want to talk about an issue that we're all edging into. And that's Christmas. I'm in Canada. So we've had snow for a while where I live. We're all thinking about Christmas, I see Christmas trees in the windows around the neighbourhood. Christmas music is popping up on the playlist. My kids are trying to play it - everyone's just getting ready for Christmas. But without really knowing what to expect, right? And I know each province, each state, each country is going through something a little bit differently. I will say though I am done my Christmas shopping, I'm so proud of that I didn't want to rely on a lot of shipping. So I went to the stores. In early November, I had a list I stuck to the list and made a budget I stuck to the budget I'm really proud of myself. One thing that we have adopted here is to do the for gifts for our kids where it's something you want so...

I see a theme in the women I life coach. When I ask them what they want in their life, their homes, their motherhood, their relationships, peace (calm, serenity, harmony) is a common answer. Peace is something we crave, but we often trade it in for relief. The problem is that peace and relief can look similar. Because the pain lessens for a bit. But relief is not peace. Relief is a temporary reduction/removal of the pain. Peace is finding calm amongst the pain and stressors. *this is an affiliate link, which means when you purchase this item I get a nominal commission at no cost to you FULL TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE AT THE END OF THIS POST This week my 6-year-old son was having an 'off day' - a few of them. Eventually, I kept him home from school with me. I could see he was having a soul fever (a concept from Simplicity Parenting*) and that day allowed him to rest and recenter. As an adult, I can relate to how he was feeling. So often I have this strange stressor that is highjacking how I show up - I'm not present and I'm not having any fun or feeling like I am in control of my life. It feels overwhelming. What do we want relief from? So often when we have some kind of discomfort, pain or urge we just want relief. We just want it to stop. We treat it like a hot coal in our hands. We are acting from a stress response and looking for a quick way to make the pain stop. The more seek relief, the more fearful we get of the pain/discomfort So we lash out, we withdraw, we try to control everyone and everything. This is how we learn to cope with the discomfort of feeling pain. The more we do this, the more afraid we become of experiencing this 'pain', this 'hot coal'. We develop coping mechanisms that help us find relief from this perceived pain. But when we don't immediately seek relief, then we can start to sit with this hot coal a little longer. Learn that it won't hurt us, that we can handle it. We need to get through the discomfort in order to move into peace This is where peace lives. In going through the discomfort of not giving ourselves immediate relief. It can show up in motherhood, in marriage, in our life, in our relationships. What I am learning is that when I let myself be uncomfortable and get past the need for immediate relief, I move into a space where there is an OPPORTUNITY to experience peace and practice peace - the peace God gives me, the peace I find within, the peace I can offer those around me. Peace also requires trust - of ourselves, others and of God I shared an example of a fight I was about to have with my husband over butter, honey butter to be specific. In the past, I would dump a conflict onto him and shame him into fixing it. But I decided to sit with the discomfort I was feeling and let myself work to a calmer place - so I could address this issue with kindness and understanding of myself - rather than blowing it up, in the moment, from a stress response. I call this the Circle Back. And it isn't about never addressing the issue, it is about circling back to it from a place of calm. But I can do this BECAUSE I trust us. I trust that this is something we can work through. I've learned to trust him and myself with conflict resolution. Peace also requires us to trust ourselves and to put trust in God that he's got us, his hand is in it, he has the long game. Mindful questions: What feels like pain to me? What are my 'hot coals'? How do I deal with them? What are the responses I have to them? What are the decisions I am making today? Are they bringing me relief or peace? Where can I practice peace today? Where do I often seek relief? How has that impacted my life? How can I have compassion for myself for the relief I had needed in the past? Fun links mentioned in this episode Simplicity Parenting* Instagram - the highlight reel on books

When we decide we want to turn off the autopilot and take control of our lives, we might be really excited. It is fun to think about the goals and dreams we have, where we want to go with our lives. But the hard work of showing up for it every day isn't something people really talk about. Intentional living is a journey I started about six years ago and I thought it would be so much easier, and come naturally, and everything would 'click'. When it wasn't quite like that I realized that there is a really messy part of intentional living that we might gloss over. So, I want to share some of the things I experienced and learned and encourage you with them. So that as you go on this journey in your own life, you can feel motivated to see it through when it feels hard. Because hard doesn't always mean you are doing it wrong, it often simply means you are doing it. Full transcript is at the bottom of this post. Some things to remember WHEN INTENTIONAL LIVING IS HARD It doesn't come naturally. We started with ‘intentional parenting’ and made a list of what we hoped to teach our kids, and things to do with our kids. It included road trips - because that’s what I thought it *should* include. But I do not like road trips with my kids, and I hate that I hate them so much but they are not a preferable experience for me. It doesn’t come naturally - and this can encourage you that your hard work is moving you down the road. Read more about the road trip that made me cry right here. What we want changes over time. This is encouraging because it means we are allowed to change our minds, try new things, and keep refining it along the way. It shines a light on your blind spots. For me, a big one was my victim mentality - of being the victim of my life, motherhood and marriage. Listen to the episode on being a mom martyr right here. It is the daily practice. We should be motivated by this big vision we have and remember that intentional living is showing up for the daily work of moving in that direction It is empowering. This is the reason I still do it. It has grown me and shown me a lot I can let go of. It has brought me more in tune with myself and made me feel empowered that I can do hard things and take steps towards the life I want. To get started with intentional living, use the LIVE YOUR VISION, and LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheets, the LIFE ON PURPOSE WORKBOOK The get some support in getting started schedule a 1-hour strategy session or apply for the Life on Purpose 1:1 Coaching Program with Shawna. Episode Transcript Welcome to the Simple on Purpose podcast. This is a place where I want you to take some time to slow down. Think about ways you want to simplify your life. And think about the ways you want to show up well for your actual life. So this is what we talked about here intentional living, simplifying your home heart and mind. So that you can show up and enjoy your life, enjoy motherhood, enjoy all of the things that are right in front of you, I want to help you do that. So today we're going to pick up on intentional living. In the last episode, we talked about some signs that you could be living on autopilot. And maybe you saw some in yourself, maybe you want to take control, maybe you want to step up and get more intentional in how you're spending your days in what you're building up in your life. So in that last episode, I also give you a few tips on how to get started. And I want to give you some encouragement, some real talk on intentional living. I shared this thinking like Episode 15. And a couple of years ago, about the things that nobody talks about in intentional living, the things that nobody told me the things I wish I would have known. And I'm going to kind of go through that list again and elaborate a bit on a few of the points that I think are really important. Because intentional living, it sounds great, doesn't it sounds shiny,

Feeling rushed, overwhelmed, unproductive can all be signs you are living your life on autopilot. That is, living life by default, without intention. The outcome is an inner sense of lack, but we might not notice it. BECAUSE Our life might look 'nice' enough on the surface, and we have done all the things that people told us would make us successful and happy - but we really don't feel it. So we think something is wrong with us, and with our lives. Autopilot living leaves you feeling ineffective and like you aren't stepping into your purpose and passions for your life. I have six ways that auto-pilot living can be showing up in your life and give you some direction on what you can do about it. I write this all to you as someone who lived on autopilot for about 30 years before waking up to it and deciding to take control of my life. I had let complacency seep through my whole life. My health, my motherhood, my marriage, my home, my relationships. They were all operating without any intention or direction from me and what I truly craved in those areas of my life. (full episode transcript is at the bottom of this post) SIX SIGNS YOU ARE LIVING YOUR LIFE ON AUTOPILOT You are putting out fires all-day You are feeling overwhelmed You feel restless....or apathetic You feel unproductive at the end of the day You feel like something is missing You are distracted And in motherhood, we can see we are on autopilot when We've turned on the 'no switch' and not turned it off We are short with our kids (then shame ourselves for it) We are just 'trying to get through the day' LINKS MENTIONED What is subconscious thinking and how it impacts your life (episode 76) Productivity needs purpose (blog post) I stopped enjoying my kids (episode 16) (blog post) My husband's take on setting goals and LIFE ON PURPOSE together (episode 47) Small things that can change your whole life (episode 78) The Live Your Vision worksheets (get them here) The Live your Values worksheets (get them here) The Life on Purpose Workbook (find it here) A one on one Strategy Session (book it here) The Simple Christmas Planner (get yours here) The Facebook Simple on Purpose community group (join it here) Want to be part of the Simple Saturdays email? (sign up here) FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT Welcome to this podcast. If you are new here, I'm so glad you're joining us to let you know a bit about me. I am living in small town Canada, and I am here every week to help you think of ways that you can simplify,slow down and show up for your actual life. So I hope you guys have all had a good Halloween holiday, if that's something you celebrate, if you were in the simple Saturday's email, then you saw a picture I sent out of my kids costumes. And I think it's so fascinating to have more than one kid and see how different they are. My oldest was kind of true to himself in wearing a costume that he loved. It's a black panther costume, but no mask because that's how he rolls. It's just not practical. My second I got her draft from the thrift store, she jazzed it up, she put on a vest, she colored the hair, she put on earmuffs, and she called herself a DJ giraffe. And my third was just like, I'm gonna be a ninja, I got this Mom, don't worry about me. I'm going to tie a shirt on my head wear all black, I got it. And they're just all totally themselves shining through those Halloween costumes. Also, I was just so super relieved. I didn't have to deal with making or creating or helping with costumes in any way this year. They just all kind of took control of it and made it happen for themselves. We did a candy hunt in our yards for the kids. And then we watched a movie we watched on the moon above on Netflix. And it was cute. But now we're listening to the soundtrack multiple times a day. My kids know all the words they're singing.

Do small things has changed my whole life. Today I'm sharing how motherhood really brought me face to face with my own neediness and limiting beliefs that everything and everyone else was causing me problems. Becoming self-aware of how I had brought myself to this point in my own life made me realize I can't be my own solution. I needed God. I met God in my neediness and he showed me some hard truths on what needed changing. Because I didn't want to stay where I was, on autopilot. There was a lot of victimhood and resent and anxiety and poor health where I was - if I stayed there and kept the status quo I could see that my life in 2 . . . 5 . . . 10 years was not the life I wanted. But this isn't all a big bummer. I have something that can help you, something I learned on the way in TAKING ACTION to shift my life. This is the COMPOUND EFFECT A concept from Darren Hardy that tells us the little things we do, consistently, have a cumulative impact on our lives. Both the good habits the bad habits - they accumulate as the days pass. I will share with you about 10 SMALL THINGS I have worked on over the past 5 years that I feel have made my life so much better, and some of the things I'm working on this year. And if you are feeling like you are ready to pick one small thing and start it, I have some question to help you identify what that could be. Because our life is like a ship, we need to adjust it's course a little bit each day so we can end up pretty darn close to our destination. AND REMEMBER, you can only steer a ship that is moving - we need to take ACTION! (Full episode transcript is at the bottom) All the fun links to help you learn more . . . Homemaker, on Purpose (available from Amazon, or as an eBook) Are you making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Episode 67 ) What are limiting beliefs and how they impact you (Episode 76) Showing up for your future self (Episode 21) Want to make a change, here are three tips to help you get good at it (Episode 70) The Life on Purpose Workbook (available as a digital copy or from Amazon) The Live Your Values + Live Your Vision worksheets (you can find both right here) Apply here to learn more about the Life on Purpose 1:1 Coaching Program Spending the month on GRATITUDE in the Facebook Community Group (join here, make sure to answer the entry questions) [convertkit form=1472101] FULL TRANSCRIPT Hi Friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and Life coach from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to The Simple on Purpose podcast. This is a place for you. If you are a mum and it just all feels like too much. The clutter, the life, the motherhood, the relationships I've been there. These are all signs that we're living on autopilot. That life is just happening at us rather than us being in our driver's seat, being proactive. Like I said, I've been there. And when I realized that I had living my life on autopilot, I wanted to take control. I wanted to live on purpose. I wanted to take action and build up the life, the home, the relationships, the mindsets that I craved, the one that God made me for, because you are made for more than anxiety and reactivity and victimhood, you are made for more than that. So this podcast is your place. I aim to keep all these podcasts short and to the point, and to give you tips and ideas and encouragement and insights into simplifying, slowing down and showing up for your life on purpose. So I'm recording this podcast right now in an empty house. What, what my husband took our three kids to his parents' farm for the weekend. And he had all these chores he wanted to do there. And he said, you can come with me if you want, or you can just stay home. And I was like, let me think about that. Thank you. I'm going to be home. And I've been eating poutine in my PJ's watching TV in the tub at night. I've used like five dishes. It's glorious. I mean,

We all hear about the Sabbath and as moms, we are like, "Sure! When will we find this magical day of rest from our lives??" Because rest sounds good, but there are still kids here asking me for snacks and to play with them! This past weekend I had one of the most restful days I've ever had. It inspired me to share this episode (as I hit record planning to talk about something totally different) and tell you the ways that rest has refreshed me and why I encourage you to do it too! To me, this day of rest came about from the overwhelming need to address some emotions that were piling up for me (I needed to feel my feelings!). I needed a day to listen to my body and listen to God. So I put everything on the back burner and had a day of BEING STILL, rather than DOING ALL THE THINGS! THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY RHYTHMS In our home we fall into natural FAMILY RHYTHMS, it is how things get done. And one of our rhythms for a few years has been Church and Chill on Sundays. This gives us the framework to make space in our week for the things we value - even if we are still learning to appreciate them and do them well. A day of rest has been one of those things. WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO REST When we spend a day of rest, we get a chance to listen closer to our life, our bodies, to God It also helps us to come out of the constant stress response we have been operating in. When we are stressed we are flooded with stress hormones and even using a different part of our brain. We need to find ways to come down from that stress response by letting our body feel like it is safe, so it can cue the brain to chill out. A day of rest lets your body move out of operating in a stress mode. It also gives you energy for the week ahead. I felt like I rested until I felt restless (which is rare of a Type 9). TEACHING OUR KIDS TO REST Resting is a skill and it is one we can teach our kids too. This doesn't mean we roll into a Sunday telling our kids they are on their own - but to walk alongside them in learning how to do it. BECAUSE IT ISN'T COMFORTABLE Just BEING for a day won't feel comfortable. It might even feel boring. But God calls us to it and it is worth making it a practice for your soul to be refreshed. CHOOSE THINGS THAT REFRESH YOU Pay attention to how you get rest. Avoid things that actually drain you even though they don't require a lot of energy (ahem, social media!). The full transcript is available at the end of this post. FUN LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Sign up for Simple Saturdays (the virtual coffee date with me that comes out twice a month) Check out Stef Gass (Mompreneur Mastermind podcast) Saturday morning chores (the episode on how we started them in our home) Family Rhythms (what ours are, and worksheets to make your own) The Enneagram (I talk about it a lot, here are the basics) Two episodes on mindset shifts that can help moms of babies and toddlers (episode 73 and episode 74) The free printable of mindset shifts to empower your motherhood (get them right here) Say HAAAAY on Instagram Join the Simple Squad in the FB Community Group [convertkit form=1472101] FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT Hey friends! It's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and life coach from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast here for moms like you, who want to have the reminder, and the encouragement that it is okay to simplify- it is okay to slow down and it is important to show up for your life on purpose. That's what we are here to talk about. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. I am Shawna. I am a mom of three, a life coach, and you might know me from the simple on purpose dot ca blog. That's where I've been for about six or seven years before that if you were like an OG blog reader, remember dovetail blog, that was way back in the day. And there was also that period of time where I was at home with three kids.

I used to be a big skeptic of limiting mindsets. I mean, how would I have a thought I'm not even aware of? And how would this thought somehow keep me stuck? Since I have learned more about the science behind it and how our thought life is really running the show I can see this everywhere. I can see how our mindsets limit our motherhood experience, our relationships, our drive, really - everything. FULL TRANSCRIPT IS AVAILABLE AT THE END OF THIS POST Here are the main things I have learned that have really opened my eyes to the reality and practical application of limiting mindsets. We have conscious thoughts and subconscious thoughts. This is the iceberg with our conscious thoughts on the surface. The majority of our daily reactions, habits, routines are coming from our subconscious thoughts - they don't require our attention and energy. Creating a whole network of subconscious thoughts is one of the three jobs of our brain - it keeps it efficient. If you stop and think, you can see a lot of areas of your life where you can notice the subconscious thoughts have taken over operation The subconscious thoughts are like the program running on a computer. The program is developed through personal experience and exposure - our upbringing, our culture and our past really form a lot of subconscious thought patterns. The limiting mindsets are those mindsets that are subconscious - running in the background and they are disempowering you. They aren't serving you to grow in the life you want. It is not our brain's job to filter out limiting mindsets from empowering mindsets - that is something we have to do on purpose. These mindsets matter because we SHOW UP from them. I use the CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) model in coaching and it informs us that our thoughts create our emotion and we behave differently depending on how we feel. So the reason it matters is our experience of life matters. And our experience of life (feelings and actions, and their outcomes) come from our thoughts (conscious and subconscious). In this episode I have some examples for you around money scarcity, kids should always obey, people don't care about what I have to say, I'm a victim of motherhood, etc. Links Mentioned Episode 71: I let my kids do whatever they wanted for a day (abundance day) Simplify for fall [sign up here] The Simple on Purpose FB group [make sure to answer the entry questions] Episode 40 : The not-enough mindset [scarcity and abundance mindset] Enneagram 101 The Life on Purpose Academy [closed until December, sign up here to be on the waitlist] Episode 67: Making motherhood harder than it needs to be [mom martyr] Find Shawna on Instagram [convertkit form=1472101] Episode Transcript Hey friends, it's me, Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and Life Coach from simpleonpurpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This podcast is for the mom on the go. I aim to keep every episode under 20 minutes. And this podcast is your space. Your time to help you simplify slow down and show up for your life on purpose. So it's full blown fall here in BC, Canada. My husband went on another hunting trip. That's what they're doing up here. They're filling up the freezers in Canada. So he went out for a hunting trip. And when he went last month as well, I did something called abundance day with my kids. You can catch that a few episodes ago where I just said yes to whatever they wanted. They called it, do whatever you want day. So I had another one for them and eat included an entire box of Halloween candy and an accessible amount of hours on the iPad playing video games. So at the end of the day, I was like, this is kind of their go to cause we're at home. And it's like everything I usually have restrictions around and I encourage them next time. Like think of something bigger, like think outside the box, you can do anything. Like what would you want to do?

Have you heard of hygge? It is the Danish word that embodies the sentiments of being cozy, connected and content. If you look it up on Pinterest you will see a lot of cozy spaces full of things like flickering candles, a lovely throw, some fuzzy socks. These all make a space feel cozier, but it takes more than that to experience hygge. I want to share three mindsets that will help you shift right into hygge and have that cozy, connected and content experience in your daily life. You may have heard me talk about hygge before in this episode where I compared it with minimalism and how the two were different and similar. If I lean one way, it is probably towards hygge. But perhaps that is because I have done all the decluttering already and my home feels simpler. But this Enneagram Type 9 especially loves hygge because of its focus on equality, balance, simplicity and contentment. If you want to add more hygge into your life this fall and winter then get yourself the FREE calendar on 30 days of hygge (get it here). If you love to look at hygge inspiration check out my Pinterest board And since we are entering fall and we love to have cozy spaces in our home, let's get out homes ready with the Simplify for Fall Challenge (sign up here). It is so helpful to clear out your space and reset your home before Thanksgiving and Christmas take over our living space. And if you are prepping for Christmas already, check out the Simple Christmas Planner right here. This is the 2020 updated version! FULL TRANSCRIPT AT THE END OF THIS POST [convertkit form=1147577] Full transcript of this episode Friends at Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. I am a Canadian mom in small town, Canada. I'm a mom of three cool kids. I am a life coach at the Life on Purpose Academy, and I also do one on one life coaching. And you probably know me if you've hung around the Simple on Purpose blog at all. So welcome. I'm so glad you're here. The whole goal around this show is to give you just a quick check in with yourself on the things that matter to you and the things you want in your life. So we're going to remove the distractions that we're going to simplify, and we're going to show up on purpose. That's our mission. And one of my favorite ways to show up in my home in my life is hygge and hygge is that Danish word? It's spelled H Y G G E I needed. It's the Danish word that embodies that sense of connectedness and coziness. And you've probably seen pictures of fuzzy socks and candles and tea with steam coming out of it. It's so cozy. It's so darn cozy. So I heard about this a few years ago, and I just love pinning pins about it. And if you've been on Pinterest, you probably seen the trend, the coffee mugs, the cozy blankets, a lot of Scandinavian inspired touches, but I want to encourage you that hygge is not a decor trend or a shopping list of cozy things to bring into your home, those help, but at his core, hygge v is a mindset. So over the centuries, the Danish people have embraced hygge as a way of life. They've brought these values into their daily life. And since they focus on making their long dark winter, an especially hygge time they've incorporated these things, quote unquote, things, stuff that we see as a representation of what hygge is, but it's not about the stuff who God is about. Sitting with your friends around a candle at the table sharing a simple snack before it's ever about the candles. And what's on the table. It's about cuddling in a cozy blanket with a fan with the family for a movie before it's ever about the texture and textiles and a couch scape. That just looks so inviting. It's about sitting alone in the morning, enjoying the view out the window with a warm cup of coffee before it's ever about the cute mug and the fuzzy socks and the steam coming off the mug. So it's not a decor trend. It's a mindset you bring into your daily life.

When you are at home with a baby, or a toddler and a baby your whole world can feel boring and relentless. There are countless demands on your time, energy and body and it can be so overwhelming to show up every day in motherhood when you just want a hot minute alone! You aren't alone. I have been there (hello three kids under four!). And I get how exhausting and draining motherhood can be. Like how are people even making dinner!?! And what is life like without Paw Patrol?? As my kids have gotten older I have been seeing things from a new point of view. I can see my new mom self with more objectivity. I can see that there were some mindset shifts that really helped me between 1-3 kids and mindsets that have really helped me over the years of parenting. Your mindset can have a big impact on your motherhood experience and this isn't something to brush off. I say that as someone who did brush 'mindsets' off as woo woo and weak. But now that I am aware that my thoughts dictate my emotions, and I ACT from how I feel has changed my mind. I can see the connections with mindsets to my experience, my reality, everywhere. Especially in motherhood because momlife is an emotional struggle. There is overwhelm, resentment, frustration and exhaustion! And when I tell myself the worst-case scenario about me as a mom, and my kids, and my support system them I am showing up from all those feelings. I have some mindsets that I learned the long way in motherhood, and some I am still learning. I hope they empower you to mother on purpose, with more peace and presence! PART 2 of2 EMPOWERING MINDSETS WE DISCUSS IN THIS EPISODE: It's ok to be tired It's ok to lose myself in motherhood It's ok to NOT be awesome today It takes a village What matters most is how I show up Get the printable PDF that goes with this episode and the previous episode FUN LINKS! The Life on Purpose Workbook The Live Your Values worksheets Mindset for the tired mom How to be a good mom friend Schedule a mini-session to see what life coaching can help you with Book a consult call to get started with life coaching FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE He friends it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach from simpleonpurpose.ca. I am the author of the Life on Purpose Workbook. You can find that on Amazon, The coach behind the Life on PurposeAcademy, the monthly group coaching program for moms and a mom of three cool kids. So this is part two of two podcasts on the mindsets that will really help you in new motherhood this month in the life on purpose Academy, our monthly topic is mom on purpose. So this has been on my brain. There's so many things I want to say about being a mom on purpose. And that's not because I'm an expert in it, but because it's something that I'm constantly trying to do and what I really want you to pay attention here in being a mom on purpose. It isn't about getting your kids to listen and controlling their behaviors. It's about the mom you are, what's in your control, - you - you're in your control. So I really want to focus on mindsets our mindsets matter because when we feel better, we can do better. We're motivated by how we feel. We take action from how we feel. So if we want to be taking positive action, empowered action, loving action that has to come from emotions that are positive, empowered, and loving. If we are going about our day, feeling frustrated and helpless and resentful, the actions we take are fueled by that. That sounds exhausting, right? That sounds like our actions are probably just going to be a little bit weak, maybe a little bit desperate, maybe a little bit impulsive and shortsighted. So I'm offering you mindsets that I know would have helped me in early motherhood. And some of them, I learned through the course of my three babies, some of them I'm still learning. So in part one, we talked about honoring the feelings that you have and pa...

As the kids get older I find myself watching moms with babies and toddlers and remember what a hot mess it felt like. I can look back on those early years with all of their demands on my time, my body, my energy and notice how I really fought it and how I probably made it harder than it needed to be. Hindsight is easier from the plateau than it is in the thick of the valley. I can see a lot of mindset shifts that would have helped me to show up better. I want to share them with you if you are a mama with small ones around and feel like you need a refresher for your heart and soul. Because our mindsets matter. The story we tell ourselves about our life, about motherhood, about our kids, that all matters. It matters because we SHOW UP from this story. If this story makes us feel helpless, that is how we show up. If this story makes us feel frustrated, that is how we show up. I want to help you become aware of the stories you might be telling yourself here and offer you some new ways to look at things. THIS IS PART ONE OF TWO Emotional struggles and mindset shifts that we talk about in this episode: It's ok to feel my tough feelings It's ok to mourn my old life Motherhood is hard, but I don't have to make it harder I can trust myself in motherhood (and move away from rules and perfectionism) I am the mom meant for my kids Have a plan and plan to change THE FULL TRANSCRIPTION IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE Get the printable PDF that goes with this episode and the following episode. FUN LINKS FOR MAMAS: Faith and fertility My thyroid, my frenemy (grave's disease) My c-section and the feelings I was ashamed to admit My VBAC Story The baby who always cried God's grace through difficult parenting Settling, in motherhood What moms of toddlers need to hear Be the mom you are How to be intentional with your family culture Set your own family rhythms The Life on Purpose Academy (group life coaching for moms, monthly topics and weekly calls) Learn more about life coaching with Shawna Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE (00:05): Hey friends. I'm Shawna Your Nerdy Girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose. (00:12): I am here to remind you that it is okay to simplify it is okay to have a simple life. It is okay to have a simple home because when you simplify, when you remove the distractions, you get to show up for what really matters to you. And it doesn't look like anyone else. That's the best part. (00:31): And I aim to keep things simple here on what I bring to you. So I aim to keep these episodes less than 20 minutes, so you can listen to them very easily. And my simple Saturday's email that comes out twice a month. I know it's natural for people to be sending out emails weekly, but Hey, when I have less on my plate, I can do more better. If that makes sense, the less you have to think about the more you can just zone in, right where you are. (00:57): So guys, September, we're coming to a close, how has it been going for you? You might have kids in school. You might be doing distance learning or homeschooling, maybe a combination and wherever you are at. I want you to know that you're doing a good job. You have been making decisions that you feel are best for your family. You've been paying attention to what your kids need, trying to make adaptations to that. And one of the coolest things I've been seeing happening is people are realizing they're allowed to change their minds. There's people who are deciding to actually send their kids to school or take their kids out of school or switch curriculums or switch homeschooling to distance learning and vice versa. Wherever you are at. You're always allowed to change your mind because that is still a form of doing what is best for your family. (01:44):

One question I get so often is "how to get my husband to get rid of all his crap?" I don't have a magical formula to convince him to give up the ill-fitting company leather jacket from twenty years ago, or the questionable 'comedy' VHS from the 1990s - but I do have seven tips to help you navigate the conversations and process of decluttering with someone else in your home. When most of us decide to become a minimalist we have laser eyes for everything that has got to go - and a lot of it is OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF. Whether it is teens, grown kids, or your spouse these people like their things and do have some say over what happens to it. We often find that the issue moves away from the STUFF in your home and becomes a RELATIONSHIP issue. So, these are tips on decluttering when your spouse isn't on board, but really, it's marriage advice too. Because the goal is to declutter our home while preserving the relationships of those in our home. We don't want to become minimalist at the cost of peace in our relationships. Seven Tips for When Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Declutter 1. Talk about the common vision Sounds too simple right? But the more you can talk about the vision you each have for your space, the more you can find places where your vision overlaps and get excited about what you do agree on. Having a vision is always more motivating because you are doing tasks for the sake of moving towards your vision rather than doing tasks for the sake of chores. Use this free worksheet to set some vision for your home 2. Quit trying to change them If ex-boyfriends have taught us nothing it is that you cannot change people. And really, when you feel like the person you love wishes you were different it feels crappy. It lays the foundation for resentment. There is a difference in encouraging them to be their best, vs manipulating and shaming them for who they are 3. Declutter your own stuff first The most common piece of advice, for a good reason. Actions speak louder than words. And you really don't need a lot of words when your partner can see you feel lighter and have more space and mental clarity in your home. 4. Let communal items have communal input I would pile up the 'communal items' that I thought we should get rid of and offered my husband a chance to go through them and grab what he wanted. Because really, this is his home too and his stuff too. And we would all want someone to give us say about the things we wish to keep in our home. 5. Learn their why You may not agree that your husband needs to keep the Pottie Tang VHS, but you can still ask why he wishes to..... like really, why??? Because we all keep things for a reason and that reason doesn't need to make sense to us - just knowing they know their reason and they like it can let you off the hook of making this the issue you have conflict over. 6. Offer support It is a hard step, but if you are willing to offer your support in helping them organize things it can be a game-changer. It shows you are willing to let them figure things out, it shows you are empowering them to create the space they want too, and it gets things more organized which just feels like less clutter. 7. Let it be ok to disagree Marriage is so weird right!? It is putting two different people, with different opinions, different tastes, different views on the world into ONE HOME. It is not easy and it is not without differences, which can feel like conflict. It is ok to not see eye to eye. It is normal to disagree with your spouse. As I mentioned in this episode, peace at all costs is not peace. At the end of the day, WHAT is in your home matters less than WHO is in there with you making it feel like home. If this has helped you.... If you have like this episode, please share it with someone else who can use it. The easiest way to do that is to take a screenshot and share it to I...

The other day I let my kids do whatever they wanted for a whole day. I called it Abundance Day. It was a day of me saying yes instead of no. . . because I am a mom who is saying NO a lot. I was solo parenting for a week and spent the first day being a parent who says yes, a step towards more abundant parenting. Parenting from a place of abundance rather than withholding. Not that there is anything wrong with limits and withholding in the sake of teaching them skills and growing them into people who can manage frustrations and life - but sometimes I just want to shower them with YES and abundance with them earning it - because God does not make us earn His abundance. God gives us blessings and abundance in a variety of ways and I want them to experience the reality of that in a tangible way so they can also see it is true in how God provides for us. Abundance Day was very eye-opening in terms of how my kids chose to spend their time, the decisions they made and the lessons they told me they learned at the end of it. It was a good lesson for me too, to see where I can give them more freedom to make their own choices and to see where I can teach them some more skills to make better decisions. We did Abundance Day on the first day of my husband's hunting trip, he was gone for a week. I think it was a fun intro into my week of solo parenting. Also, over the years of him going on this trip, I've learned a few things that make this week a lot easier. Four tips to prep for a week of solo parenting Plan what makes my life easier, especially meals. Keep checking in with their feelings, because they have lots of em Have proactive conversations ahead of time Have fun with them When I turned 38 last month I quietly told myself that I wanted to actively seek an abundance mindset in my life. I made this a birthday resolution for myself. I want to focus on abundant parenting and I know that I will also be working on it in these areas too: Areas of my life to practice an abundance mindset: In my work - taking my time with things I wish happened sooner and putting limits on how much I do, knowing what I do is enough In my time - taking time to slow down and enjoy my life and my people instead of saying ‘there isn’t enough time’ In my relationships - focussing on nurturing the close relationships I have instead of feeling like all relationships need to be close - and just showing up in those relationships remembering that my friend’s love is abundant and I don’t have to earn it In my food - I’m the kitchen warden and I can see a ton of scarcity mindset around food and preparing it and conserving it. WIN A FREE LIFE COACHING SESSION FOR MOMS TAG ME ON INSTAGRAM to be entered to win a free FULL ONE HOUR coaching session on ANY TOPIC you want support on: parenting, setting goals, identifying your personal values, homeschooling during a pandemic, any of these issues are ones I can help you find more peace, presence and purpose on. Links mentioned Simplify For Fall (sign up here for the free 5-day challenge that starts October 19th) Join the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group (make sure to answer the three entry questions) Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email Find me on Instagram Abundance vs Scarcity Mindset (the blog post) (the podcast episode) Family Meetings (the blog post) When I stopped enjoying my kids (the blog post) (the podcast episode)

Whenever we know where we WANT to go, but getting there, doing the work can meet a lot of hurdles. One big hurdle is this desire we have to ‘get good’ at the thing. What do you want to get good at? Meal planning, parenting, waking up early, a hobby, building a business . . . What will it take for you to get good at it? It isn’t just about mastering the skill/the thing itself - it is about the things we can do that help us master the skill itself - the stepping stones that get us there. Here are three tips I have for you if you want to DO THE WORK of getting good at something: Consider how you are measuring success - are you stuck in all or nothing thinking? How does that keep you from making progress? Ask yourself how you handle failure - could it be true that you cannot fail? I know it sounds naive, but there can be a lot of peace in looking for the truth in this Look at how you are motivating yourself - do you rely on negative motivation to slog your way through it? What would it look like to move into positive motivation? BONUS: Are you WILLING to be bad at something in order to get good at something? Links Mentioned The Making Change Challenge (sign up for it right here, it will come to your inbox) All podcast episodes from Simple on Purpose Growth mindset podcast episode Tracking your habits blog post One small habit blog post The Life on Purpose Workbook Simple Saturdays emails (sign up here) The Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Simple on Purpose on Instagram The enneagram, what it is and why I love it blog post

Will a clear and simple house bring me peace? There is a lot of evidence out there that decluttered, clutter-free home is a peaceful home. There are a lot of studies about the mental burden of clutter. There’s research to tell us that an ordered home helps us to FEEL calmer. And I believe this is true. A clear home CAN bring you peace. But will it? I coach moms on this. Especially moms who label themselves as perfectionists. They have standards and expectations about how their home should be. They want it clear and tidy because of how they think it will make them feel. They want this, and in order to get it it can come at a cost, the cost is peace in their home. Over the years of decluttering, organizing, doing chores, teaching my kids to do chores I have learned that it can make my space feel peaceful but it is UP TO ME how I show up every step of the way. I have to bring the peace into it. Have you ever been to a beautiful place but the atmosphere in it stinks? It isn't as simple as how organized and pretty the home it. It is so much more. And it takes work to create a beautiful experience in your home. It takes intention, vision, work, and being very mindful. To me, this is the difference in someone who is a HOMEMAKER - a lost art of our generation. But homemaker isn't a bad word. It it is an empowering word. If you are ready to reclaim you role as homemaker and move from thinking about things and doing a little here and there to taking ACTION, then join in the Fall Series at the Life on Purpose Academy. Each monthly topic will help you take action to live your life on purpose all while getting teaching and coaching all along the way. The fall series topics include: September - Reclaim Your Home October - Mom on Purpose November - Show Up for Love December - Connections + Friendships LINKS MENTIONED How minimalism changed my motherhood (Episode 51) How minimalism changed my marriage, homemaking and life (Episode 52) Doing chores you want to avoid (Episode 60) Saturday morning chores (Episode 61) The Life on Purpose Workbook (learn more) The Simple Saturdays email (it comes out every two weeks) (Subscribe here) Fall Series in the Life on Purpose Academy (learn more)

We all have a relationship with food. It can go from one extreme of food is simply fuel we need to survive, all the way to food is a constant way to experience a pleasure. In my life, I think I have swung to both sides of this spectrum. I have been paying attention to my relationship with food. What I eat, why I eat, how I feel when I eat and how I feel after. I am learning a lot, and I know I have more to learn. Paying attention leads us to the subject of MINDFUL EATING. This is something I've been interested in because I don't think it came naturally to me. It is also something I've been wanting to teach my kids more about. I asked Jessica Penner to come and teach us more about this topic. Jessica is a Registered Dietitian from Smart Nutrition and the creator of the I Quit Overeating program. We covered so many great issues on mindful eating that mamas can relate to: Regaining control and being confident in what we are eating Food freedom in making choices around food. Let me say it again: FOOD FREEDOM! Overeating - restrictions vs permission Evening eating (anyone else going for those bedtime snacks?) Emotional eating Comfort eating, is it always bad? Food as coping with hard days/emotions The diet mentality, food management for weight loss Being mindful listening to your eating instincts enjoying food 'clearing your plate' the grace we need to listen to ourselves removing food restrictions Being scared to be hungry Food chatter in the brain Get started with Smart Nutrition: THE HEALTHY EATING PUZZLE QUIZ Other Links Mentioned: Eating gluten-free, dairy-free while nursing a baby with esophagitis What I learned from the Whole30 The Life on Purpose Academy -monthly lessons and coaching for moms who want to live with more peace, purpose and presence Simple on Purpose on Instagram

Motherhood is hard, but sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be by becoming a Mom Martyr. I would know, I was one. I was knee-deep in the work and struggles of motherhood and I needed everyone to know it. However, the way I was showing up and handling life and motherhood was actually making my life harder (cue the marriage counselling!) Reflecting back on where I was at, what I see I actually needed was to address my own personal doubts and fears and lack of enjoyment in motherhood. I am sharing 15 ways that mom martyrdom can show up for you. As you are listening keep in mind that these are extreme examples and I don't think everyone will be doing all these things - though I felt like I sure way. These points may be hard to hear and that is ok, I felt the same way when these things were pointed out to me. But, I want to encourage you that there are steps you can take if you want to try something new. Read the related blog post: How to know if you are a Mom Martyr and what you can do about it. What to do about being a mom martyr? Ask yourself what you do want in motherhood, what do you want it to look like? How do you want to show up (live your values) What do you want to move towards (live your vision) Focus on relationships that help you thrive in motherhood 12 ways to strengthen and heal your marriage How to be a good Mom Friend Practice self- awareness to see how you are showing up. I love to use the Enneagram for this Get proactive - plan your day to make more peace and purpose for yourself. Get some support - counselling or life coaching (the Life on Purpose Academy is a great and affordable option for this) Other links mentioned Sign up for Simple Saturdays The Moms30for30 wardrobe challenge When Did I Stop Enjoying Motherhood Life on Purpose Academy Connect with me on Instagram

Should we be happy all the time? What does it mean if you aren’t happy? What are you doing in an effort to get happy and stay happy? This podcast episode has been on my heart for a while. I knew I wanted to talk about what I call THE HUSTLE FOR HAPPINESS. This has been one of my harder lessons in life - a lesson that came to me through parenting and feeling like I was losing the race for happiness way too often. It is also a lesson I have the pleasure of teaching other women in life coaching. I call the episode ‘How to Be Happy’ but as you will hear, it is about something so much better than happiness. One of the biggest parenting myths I’ve had to unlearn is that if your kids are happy it means you are doing it right. Other related myths include - ‘happiness is what we should feel’ or ‘when we aren’t happy we are doing it wrong.’ On today’s episode, I want to unpack these happiness myths and share some of the things I’ve learned about happiness along my years of motherhood and womanhood. Here are the topics covered in this episode: How my crying infant taught me a hard parenting lesson Why we need to stop hustling for hyper happiness Why it’s okay if your kids (or you or your husband) aren’t happy The unrealistic demands of happiness Three ways to be happier while enjoying the life you have Something even better than happiness How we are biologically driven towards happiness How to look for Perfect Moments Watching the stories we tell ourselves about being happy The relentless pursuit of happiness can be exhausting, especially for us as wives and mothers. But it doesn’t have to be that way! I hope these insights and simple tips will release you from the pressures of being happy and chasing happy and allow you to embrace your whole life - even all the messy, not-so-happy parts. If you would like to learn how to have more peace, purpose and presence in your life, I invite you to join The Life on Purpose Academy, my monthly group coaching program. This month, I've been teaching and coaching on the topic of coping with negative emotion. And I can't tell you how much freedom I see the ladies experiencing as they learn that they don't have to hustle for happiness. This coming month, I'm teaching on enjoying your life on purpose because I believe we can all experience enjoyment of our lives, even if they don't always feel good. Check out The Life on Purpose Academy. Links mentioned: How to Live Your Actual Life // blogpost Simple on Purpose Community // Facebook Group The Perfect Moments Project // blogpost // #theperfectmomentsproject Quotes: One of the biggest lessons I've learned is the myth that if your kids are happy, it means you're doing it right. Contentment is being able to find the joy despite the discomfort while happiness demands comfort. FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE The SIMPLE ON PURPOSE PODCAST Episode 66 // How to Be Happy By Shawna Scafe 0:06 Hey friends! Welcome to Simple on Purpose. I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from SimpleonPurpose.ca. If you are new here, welcome! And if you are a subscriber, I'm so glad to see you again on another Saturday, where we can stop and think about things that make our life more simple and more purposeful. 0:23 To let you know a little bit about me, if you're new here, I am a mom of three in small town Canada. And my whole mission is to help women simplify their home heart and life. So as we wrap up July, we're wrapping up the July on Purpose Challenge. Many of you have been a part of it. It's been in the Facebook group. I shared a little bit on Instagram. And what we did is we spent four weeks working on one area of our life each week. So the first area was home. And a project that I completed in my home during that week was cleaning my dresser off. I think that bedroom dresser is just like the dumping grounds of the most random crap that we th...

Why have toys if your kids aren't playing with them? Sure an option is to declutter the toys they don't enjoy or seem to use. We can declutter the excess. But still, our kids aren't always interested in playing with their toys. At least not as interested as they are in following us around the house whining that they are bored. Do you feel like your kids have a lot of toys but don’t seem to be interested in them like they used to? To a kid, the logical option is to buy a new toy - but we all know how excited they get when they find their old toy under the couch and how they suddenly never want to part with it when we talk about decluttering. July On Purpose This month we're doing July On Purpose. It's a free challenge where we're focusing on four areas of your life. And each week, we are working on a way to kind of simplify and clear space and get really purposeful in this area of our life. This week in the first week of July when I'm recording this, we're doing something around the home, something to freshen up our space. I'm probably going to be painting my bathroom or cleaning out my bedroom dresser. Sign up the July On Purpose Challenge here. Join the Simple On Purpose Facebook Community here. DECLUTTERING AND MANAGING KID'S TOYS Today, we're going to talk about how to get your kids to play with their toys. There was a time where I bagged up almost all of my kids’ toys and kept them in the basement. And they never asked for their toys back. They didn't even notice they were gone. They just continued on playing with whatever was around, and I was like, our kids have too many toys! What?! They're not even sad! They don't even notice! This prompted me to declutter their toys. On this episode, I’m going to talk to you about: The benefits of fewer toys Our system for manage toys in the home that you could totally adapt How we declutter toys What causes kids to lose interest in their toys Seven strategies that you can use to get your kids to actually play with the toys they have Why I think kids should have fewer toys How to determine how many toys are too many Also, don’t forget to get your FREE mini-guide on how to get your kids to declutter their toys [get the miniguide] and check out my blog on how to declutter your kids’ toys without them! [read the post] Get life coaching If you are a mom looking for life coaching, and you think I could be the coach for you then I want to let you know that I am opening up private coaching spots for the fall. Book now if you want to get started. And if you are interested in life coaching but prefer a more laid back approach, and more affordable option then consider the monthly group coaching program I run called The Life on Purpose Academy. My whole goal with this program is to help moms show up for the actual lives with peace, purpose and presence. If the Life on Purpose Academy is something you are interested in, then head here to join.

Restlessness, we all have felt it in our lives and especially motherhood. Because it is this weird mix of waiting, mundane chores, and mental chatter around relaxing. I asked the Facebook community what we should work on as a challenge for the month of July and there were great ideas around this general uplifting in our lives. As I talked with my besties, Sophie and Rae, about it they told me they were feeling restless lately. Restless! Exactly! That is what I was feeling too and when I looked back on all the suggestions I thought we could all use a general uplifting whether from restlessness or just the desire to get more intentional with how we are showing up in our homes, for ourselves and for our families this summer. Restless: “the inability to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom.” Doesn't that feel too accurate of a description of motherhood? There are three components I want to touch on when it comes to restlessness: Permission to rest Why we have anxiety in our day, what to do about it What to do about the boredom Links Mentioned: Summer on purpose (episode // blog post) The Pause Podcast (website) The Simple on Purpose Community (facebook group) I stopped calling myself a lazy mom (blog post) Brain dumps (episode // blog post) The Life on Purpose Academy (monthly life coaching for moms) Live your values (free worksheets) The Life on Purpose Workbook (in print or digital) How to make a daily routine that works for you and your family (episode) What is the Enneagram (post with audio and video)

We know there is power in enjoying the simple components that make up our day to day life. When we can enjoy these simple things, we have so much more ability to enjoy our actual life. But often the 'shine wears off' and the things/people/experiences we wanted and enjoyed fall flat. That happiness we experienced is gone. From a life coaching point of view, it is because we still bring our brain with us wherever we go. Our brain, and all it’s thoughts and stories and autopilot and subconscious thinking. That brain is still there thinking it’s thoughts and those thoughts create our emotional experience. However, when we feel like this isn't normal. We tell ourselves, 'I thought this would make me happy, why am I not happy?' It can cause us to think something is wrong with us, or our lives, or the people in our lives. But now it's time to lay that story to rest. The hurdle to enjoying the simple pleasures of life is that we all return to this baseline, emotionally speaking. The shine does wear off. But it is normal and sometimes even useful. We have the ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of our life, we have felt it happen. Mostly when we didn't concoct it or plan it. It happens more easily when we practice hygge, coziness, connectedness and contentment. But, there can be some thought traps that prevent us from GIVING OURSELVES PERMISSION to enjoy the simple pleasures in our life. A big thought trap feeling like you can't approve of your life. This is the situation where you say ‘if I enjoy this, then I am basically saying I approve of it, but how can I approve of something I want to change?” However, acceptance is the first step to contentment. The steps to shift back into enjoyment when the shine wears off: variety, do the same thing in a new way appreciation, Oprah and science agree A problem we have with showing appreciation is it can sometimes be misconstrued as naivety. But finding appreciation is still seeing the VALUE in things/people/experiences We have this underlying program that says 'if my enjoyment is gone, the value is gone' and then we treat it as so. Side note: if you are decluttering your home, I encourage you to keep doing this. Simplifying your space is a way of honouring the value of things and your space. It all started with a bar of soap, making a conscious effort to appreciate this soap every single time I used it. If we can do this with soap, imagine how much enjoyment we can savour from our actual lives. LINKS Read the blog post version of this episode (right here) The study on variety and appreciation (read it) Hygge Episode 38 (listen to it) Life on Purpose Academy (learn more) The all or nothing webinar (RSVP here)

Today’s bonus episode comes after I showed pictures of my pantry on Instagram and mentioned love languages and got a lot of comments about it. While we're in isolation, my wonderful husband, when he's home from work for the week, has been doing the grocery shopping and the meal prep while I work. But when he puts away the groceries, he does not appreciate my pantry system at all. There's onions and potatoes together. There's nuts in the grain section. It's just madness! I could get upset or I could choose to see it another way. Prefer to read this episode? See the blog post for it right here. There are five main ways that we like to receive love and that we like to express love. The way you receive and express love can be different. Same thing goes for your spouse. Having different love languages means having different expectations of love. So often we tie our emotions to our expectations of our spouses. When we're outsourcing that job of meeting our emotional needs to others, it sets us up for disappointment. It also sets us up for not learning the skills to do it ourselves, for not taking responsibility for doing it ourselves. We can start showing up with a new frame of mind with new thoughts. We can start showing up from a place where we're meeting our own emotional needs already and it's not our spouse’s responsibility to do it. We can look at how our spouse is loving us and our family and not how we think they need to show us love or meet our criteria of love. In marriage every single day, we need to look for the ways that someone is expressing their love to us. Links mentioned: Instagram post of the pantry (in this highlight reel) The Five Love Languages for Children by Gary Chapman Life on Purpose Academy Learn more about life coaching one on one with Shawna

I was asked to share some of our experience with kids doing chores. I think it is a great subject because a lot of us want to raise kids who know the discipline and skill of chores, but we don't want it to be this big huge fight that ends up creating a tense and stressful situation for us and our kids. In this episode, I'm sharing our strategies, tips and mindset for how we handle kid chores in our home. It doesn't mean it is always happy, or easy - but we are focussing on the process more than the outcome and it makes a difference. Some main points we covered: we need to let go of the need to make our kids constantly happy know you why - why do you want your kids to do chores? how we got started with Saturday Morning Chores how we have built on starting with one task introducing chores, delivery matters helping kids through the overwhelm motivating kids to do chores that fulfill their vision teaching the attitude and culture of chores in the home enjoying it thought traps you might get stuck in (expecting perfect/obedience/happiness) falling into the comparison trap You can read the full post right here. Ways to connect The Facebook Community Instagram The Simple Saturdays Email Get life coaching, from one mom to another! One on One coaching The Life on Purpose Academy NOW AVAILABLE The Stress Lessons The Hard Things Lessons

Raise your hand if you think dishes are dumb. And maybe you've googled 'disposable clothing for kids' in a desperate hope you could avoid the constant laundry. I know that there are women out there who are rocking chores, and there are women who aren't', and there are a lot of us between. We know that a clean house makes us FEEL peaceful and happy. But we also know that we have more motivation to click 'keep watching' than we do to get on the third load of dishes for the day. If this has been you, then this episode is for you. I've always been tidy, but I would definitely be someone to put off chores for far longer than necessary. About a year ago I decided I wanted to become a 'CHORE DOER' and I life coached myself through the mindset and strategy to become someone who does chores without the emotional negativity I had attached to it over the years Life coaching myself to become a chore doer Here are the topics covered in this episode: my scientific analysis of what Pinterest says will give you a clean home the mindsets that were holding me back some real talk with myself about how I was spending my time (*cough, screen time) the strategies I used to build up the habit of chores in my daily life the stereotypes of motherhood that can hold us back with how we show up in our homes the importance of reclaiming the art of homemaking If you find that doing chores is something does matter to you and you want to get UNSTUCK with something as simple as chores then get yourself a life coach to help you pay attention to the mindsets that hold you back and the strategy that will help you move forward and get the outcome you want! -- CLICK HERE IF YOU PREFER TO READ THIS AS A BLOG POST -- Fun and helpful links Housewife Hacks (Pinterest board) (Type 9) The Enneagram (blog post) Mom Martyr (blog post) Live your values (blog post and free worksheets) Live your vision (blog post and free worksheets) (one small habit) Strategies to put your goals into action (blog post) Minimum baseline (episode 3) 15 practical tips to get stuff done (blog post) Ways to connect The Facebook Community Instagram The Simple Saturdays Email Get life coaching, from one mom to another! One on One coaching The Life on Purpose Academy NOW AVAILABLE The Stress Lessons The Hard Things Lessons

What would make your life better right now? It is a wonderful thing to long for change, we can listen closely to that part of us that sees room to explore another way, maybe a better way. We all have change in our lives - some of it is a change we don't want, some change we do want, some changes we want but we don't know how to accomplish. Our relationship to change can look a lot of ways but it will always be met by this hurdle: knowing and accepting what is in our POWER to change? THE MAKING CHANGE CHALLENGE Today’s bonus episode is part of the free Making Change Challenge that I started in February. You can still join in at any time and get those lessons emailed right out to you. There’s a lesson emailed each week for four weeks. This lesson is on what you can control, what you can influence and what is your concern. It's really important that we pay attention to the things we're trying to change, but we actually don’t have control over. A huge hurdle many women have every single day is that we want to change things we really don't have control over. So I want to talk about this more today - how to come alongside things that we want to change. It's so important for us to know what we have control over and what we don't. And if we want to be proactive about making changes, we need to interrupt our brain. Stephen Covey’s circles of concern and influence from his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People plus one more circle - the circle of control, can help us distinguish what areas of our lives to focus on when it comes to change we can actually control. Concern - Everything that concerns you or worries you goes into your circle of concern. Things like the education system, your nation’s laws, traffic, the health of your family, etc. The key is to become proactive, instead of reactive (expending lots of emotional energy in worry and anxiety). Redirect your energy into practical actions you could take to improve your situation. You then get these areas into your circle of influence. Influence - We cannot control what other people think, feel or do. But we can influence those things. If we are nagging, steamrolling, stonewalling or complaining, these are a very poor use of our influence. If we want to influence change over things we can't control, all we have at our disposal is how we show up: Ask how you can be supportive Praise efforts and reinforce positives rather than grumble on the negative Listen more in order to learn about their side Pick your battles Stay in your own lane and do my own work Change the subject Set boundaries Step back Control - We can come from a belief that everything is out of our control which makes it really hard to take responsibility for what is actually in our control - our mindsets and behaviours. Both our mindsets and habits can be stuck on autopilot. It’s hard to see where we can change because we don’t question our thoughts and our behaviours have become habits. However, you have the responsibility and right to take control of your thoughts and your actions. On the flip side, you can feel stressed about managing all the things and all the people in all the situations and feeling like nothing you do works. In this case, you have to work on separating what you can control from what you can influence. And again, the only things you can control are YOUR thoughts and actions. In the worksheets for this week, you're going to be led through listing the things that are in your circles of control, influence and concern. And there will be some places for you to reflect on how you've been showing up and acting when it comes to these different areas, and then setting a new direction on how you want to show up and act. I hope that was helpful to you guys. The Life on Purpose Academy is my monthly group coaching program for moms who want to show up for their actual lives.

We have all been taking stock of what isolation life looks like in comparison on how our life used to look. Sometimes this experience can be painful and disempower us as we move through these days of staying at home. Going through a lot of things we 'don't want to' can really highlight the things that we DO want and crave. This episode is part two about the things I'm learning while in isolation and how I'm contrasting my current experience with what I want to move into in my post-pandemic life. This conversation will help you see some different mindsets and habits you might be having as a mom in isolation and give you some space to consider what it tells you about what you want your simple on purpose life to look like. In the last episode, we talked about this topic in the beauty, wellness, shopping, friendships, routines parts of life. In this episode we cover: Working from home, remember the days when we could spend part of our workday online window shopping kitchen appliances and creeping on the local MLS listings? Marriage in isolation, can your combined stress behaviours possibly level each other out? And why is my husband baking all this bread?? Motherhood in isolation, all I can say is Jesus Take The Wheel Mental health, denial is a good form of dealing with stress, until it's not FUN LINKS MENTIONED The Enneagram - what it is and how it has helped my marriage How to have a weekly calendar meeting with your spouse Sibling Rivalry from Lessons From the Playroom - the episode that transformed how I view and handle the sibling spats amongst my kids Parenting books that changed my parenting (including How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child) Episode 55 - Tips to move out of the stress response and into resilience Ways to connect The Facebook Community Instagram The Simple Saturdays Email Get life coaching, from one mom to another! One on One coaching The Life on Purpose Academy NOW AVAILABLE The Stress Lessons The Hard Things Lessons

I've been hearing this sentiment a lot lately: when we all get back to normal, decide what you want your 'normal' to be. Even if you are someone who pays attention to your life and tries to make it intentional and simple, this time in isolation has changed our routines and patterns enough that we are able to learn new things about how we had been showing up for our lives. In these next two episodes, I am going to run through the different areas of my life that I am paying attention to right now. In terms of how I am showing up during COVID isolation and what I mindsets/learnings I want to bring with me into my post-pandemic life. In this episode, I talk about Routines, is it worth keeping Saturday morning chores and Friday Night Treats? Beauty, is anyone else still wearing the good eyeliner with their sweats? Wellness, the truth as told by my FitBit Shopping, is isolation a good time to buy a bra to replace the one you have been wearing almost daily for the past five years? Homemaking, if a mom cleans a bathroom while in isolation and her kid pees on the floor five minutes later, did she even clean the bathroom? Friends, are you sitting around wondering why nobody is texting you? Or are you part of all the group chats and zoom calls? The FUN LINKS! Scheduling your day with kids at home (read it here, listen to it here) Dirty Hair, Don't Care (if you are interested in weaning your hair off daily shampoos) My favourite dry shampoo (see My Faves, under 'Lady Stuff') The Ordinary Retinol Serum (the price point is so great!), (also in My Faves under Lady Stuff) Scarcity Mentality (read it here, listen to it here) Tips on getting things done (read it here) Ways to connect The Facebook Community Instagram The Simple Saturdays Email Get life coaching, from one mom to another! One on One coaching The Life on Purpose Academy NOW AVAILABLE The Stress Lessons The Hard Things Lessons

What day is it anymore? We don't know. But we know we are hungry.....probably...I'm pretty sure. Or bored. Maybe. What day is it again? Imagine this conversation being had by every person in your home. Cause our brain is melting a little bit without some sort of schedule and agenda. Rather than stay in this fog of wiping chip crumbs off our devices and smelling which sweats are clean enough to wear, perhaps it might help to give your day some framework that works for you and your kids at home. After all, isolation has created this blank space that is being filled with homeschooling (crisis schooling), meals on repeat and tiger king memes. Let's take command of things we CAN control, like when snacks happen and when we binge-watch tv. *controlling the things you CAN!*, like Olaf said, and maybe Jesus, definitely Steven Covey. Here are some tips on how to schedule out your daily routine in a way that works for you and your family. Make the mega list Theme your days Apply a framework, as vague or specific as you like Leave wiggle room Pay attention to what isn't working, trial and error Include your kids The boredom busters Make your own plans too Mom! You can read this all as a full blog post right here. Links mentioned Dude Perfect on Youtube Mega list of simple easy fun to have with your kids (that are learning opportunities and games) Family rhythms The Life on Purpose Academy - My monthly group life coaching program for moms who want to show up for their lives with more peace, presence and purpose. Want to message me? Find me on Instagram or respond to a Simple Saturdays email (sign up for those right here).

I've had requests to talk about resilience and endurance during this time where moms are home with their kids in isolation. ENDURANCE Endurance is responding to stress for a duration of time. We can endure a certain amount of stress but eventually we burn out. RESILIENCE Then we turn to resilience: the ability to bounce back from stress. I think this is the place a lot of us moms are in right now. We have endured the first two weeks of isolation and now we realize that this is how things will stay for a while. Now we need to move out of stress mode and into a more intentional mode. Resilience has three steps: Recover How can you take care of yourself rather than comfort yourself? (self-care vs self-comfort) Recenter What are your values and how can you make a plan for yourself? The importance of compassion and acceptance Gifts in Disguise from The Usable Life by Leslie Broseh Family Culture (blog post and worksheets) Live your Values (blog post and worksheets) Tips to schedule a daily plan for your family during isolation Re-enter With awareness and support Be a team with yourself, with your partner, with your family, with your community The episode on Family meetings (blog post) NEXT STEPS The Making Change Challenge The Life Evaluation Quiz The Life on Purpose Academy GET CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group Simple Saturdays Email

Stepping back to look at your anxiety from a life coaching point of view and tools to help you accept and work through it. Advice from a life coach and mom of three. What is anxiety? What causes it? The way we react to it, and how it makes the struggle even harder How can we react to it instead: acknowledge it is there accept that it is with you, without running off with it calm the nervous system unpack the mental narration unburden the mental clutter decide how you want to show up (with your own values) start paying attention to what is in your control and what is not Mentioned in this episode Colleen from Lemon Thistle A Minute to Be Mindful (free pdf of mindfulness questions) Episode on being mindful in marriage Brain Dump Live your Values (free worksheets) Live your Vision (free worksheets) The Making Change Challenge The Freebies Library John Mayer IGTV, The Gentle Hours (the first 15 minutes and last 5 minutes are packed full of great insight on anxiety) The Life on Purpose Academy (read more and sign up for the quick information session on March 27th) Find me on Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email (bi-weekly email of encouragement, tips and ideas)

Think back on this past week, what kind of memories do you have from your motherhood experience? I recently listened to Meik Wiking talk about the Art of Making Memories and it got me thinking about how we treat our memories and how they can impact our motherhood experience in positive or negative ways. Full transcript at the bottom of this post. RELATED LINKS Read this episode as a blog post When did I stop enjoying my kids (podcast episode) (blog post) Life on Purpose Workbook The Perfect Moments Project Posts on hygge The Art of Making Memories Meik Wiking on the Ultimate Health Podcast Episode 330 How we view ourselves Mom Martyr Mom on Purpose Posts the Life on Purpose Academy (monthly life coaching membership) Sign up for Simple Saturdays The Simple on Purpose Facebook community Simple on Purpose on Instagram Studies related to this episode: https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/remember-bad-times-better-than-good1.htm https://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/m_blog/we-change-our-memories-each-time-we-recall-them-but-that-doesnt-mean-were-l https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4254527/ Episode Transcript Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is your weekly podcast where I remind you that you have enough who are not that you do enough to just show up for the life you have and just enjoy the life before you. For those of you who are new here, welcome. I am a mom of three living in small town Canada. I am a minimalist, a life coach. And I've been writing at simple on purpose.ca for a number of years now, talking all about simplifying your home and simplifying your life and showing up for your life. As many of you have experienced, it's just been a weird week, hasn't it? Like, we are also at Spring Break here. So the kids are home, we are doing renovations. So my office is kind of spread out throughout the house. I'm recording in my bedroom right now with some different equipment. And we're all kind of watching to see what happens with the Coronavirus and watching the news, watching the world around us and staying home. And for some of us like our family. Staying home comes naturally. We do it often, we live really simply. But for some that can feel really uncomfortable. You want to get out there you want to do stuff that's kind of the way you've lived. So if this is the opposite, I can really appreciate how panicky that must feel and how stressful that must feel. And I don't want to turn this podcast episode into another narration on how we're dealing with it and how the world should deal with it. Because we're hearing enough of that. What I really want to talk about today is memories, making memories and the kind of memories that we're making in motherhood. And I think it still fits with the changes that we're going through and the way that we have to show up right now in these difficult days that we have this unique experience that will be a memory at the end, it will be something we look back on and remember, and how do we want to remember that. So as many of us moms know, we have had seasons of parenting that have been hard and maybe even painful. Like I can think about just being at home with three kids under four and the hard days, the stressful days managing babies and toddlers, and maybe going on a road trip and being emotionally scarred for life by that. And now that the kids are older, they're five, seven, and my oldest just turned nine. There are still days where I am just so overwhelmed. Like they're fighting with one another. There's always toothpaste in the sink, always like what kind of people are we raising. And for some reason, out of all the Winter Gloves we bought this year, and we bought many, there's only the right hand the left, I've set up a box of right hand gloves, and touques. This is life though. But throughout my parenting years,

A look at the before and after of how minimalism changed my marriage, my homemaking and my life. In the last episode (#51) I shared specifically how minimalism changed my motherhood. IN THIS EPISODE How minimalism has changed my marriage: respect + responsibility, shared vision for our home, being at home How minimalism has changed my homemaking: more manageable, better 'flow' for homemaking, calmer, reclaimed my role as Homemaker How minimalism has changed my life: more proactive. doing things I enjoy, more mindful, more secure, becoming the editor of my life. READ THE FULL POST HERE THE STEPS THAT GOT ME HERE (relevant links) (type nine reference) What is the Enneagram Life on Purpose with Conor Bring hygge into your everyday life Organization mistakes I made the Life on Purpose Page Identity Clutter the Simplify Your Home Page I stopped calling myself a lazy mom The quickest way to simplify your life The perfect moments project Why minimalism works at changing your life OTHER LINKS Instagram the community Facebook Group Sign up for Simple Saturdays here Sign up for the Making Change Challenge here

What is different in my mothering since I have decluttered my home. A reader (Hi Melissa!) asked me to share on this topic. In this episode I'll share FOUR WAYS minimalism has changed my motherhood. (In the next one I'll share how it has changed my marriage, homemaking and life). IN THIS EPISODE Weird things I am googling: fancy coffees, hot 90s country, celebrity family trees, the contestants from extreme makeover and currency inflation How minimalism has changed my mothering: a family culture of creativity vs consumption, being a mom who does stuff, creating their childhood home, having space to DO LIFe together, making memories instead of buying more stuff. READ THE FULL POST HERE THE STEPS THAT GOT ME HERE (relevant links) The habit of consumption Family culture On being a mom who tries new things Restless in motherhood Basement playroom BEFORE + AFTER Fun family stuff Giving experiences instead of gifts What happened when I took half my kids' toys away OTHER LINKS Vitamin water (on my faves page) The Joy of Less (linked in this post on mindsets to shift for decluttering) Instagram the community Facebook Group Sign up for Simple Saturdays here Sign up for the Making Change Challenge here

This is a super FUN episode! I asked the FB group and Instagram friends for the topics they want to hear me talk about on the 50th episode. I have a couple of great topics I'll be sharing on today. The first, and major one, is the topic of things I have done as a mom that I never expected to do. I think we all have those 'WHAT IS MY ACTUAL LIFE??? moments' as moms where we are wiping up pee with our sock and rolling out to the grocery store with a head full of kid barrettes. So, I rolled through a lot of these moments in my own years of mothering smaller kids. I was also asked to talk about CHEESE, so I share a few of my fave ways to eat my fave cheeses. Here are the links I've mentioned in the episode: Style for the reluctant mom That time I took away half of my kids' toys What moms of toddlers need to hear God's grace through difficult parenting Mom on purpose My c-section and the feelings I was ashamed to admit A mom no matter what (for the mom who has had a hard labour, delivery and early years in motherhood) Fun stuff to do with kids My fave cheesy biscuit recipe The Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group Instagram

Change will always be part of our lives. Whether we want it, don't want, know what to do with it, or how to make the next step - we are always faced with change in and around us. So how can we move from feeling like a victim, or stuck, or confused - to being proactive with how we show up and handle change in our lives? The growth mindset is something that can really impact our ability to embrace and learn from the change in our lives. When we can spot where we might have the opposite (fixed mindset) we can start to see the ways our MINDSET is limiting our ability to move forward. Read the blog post version of this episode right here. THE MAKING CHANGE CHALLENGE This episode is part of a lesson from the Making Change Challenge. If you want to join and get the 4 weekly lessons and worksheets, then simply sign up here. THE FACEBOOK GROUP If you want to join the Simple on Purpose community, click here - and make sure to answer the entry questions. INSTAGRAM Want to send me a message? Or see my laundry piles and thoughts on hospitality and Netflix shows? Then find me on Instagram

How to be brave with your life when you a mom who sometimes goes a whole day before realizing your shirt is on inside out. Welcome to the Simple Saturdays Podcast. I’m Shawna, mom of three living in small-town Canada. I have been blogging for about seven years on my journey to simplify my home and life - and to live my life on purpose. I have been writing about the journey and life coaching other women who want to show up for their lives with more purpose, passion and peace. Today we are talking about how to show up for your life, and we are in Part 4, Being brave with your life BE BRAVE WITH YOUR LIFE This is step THREE in showing up for your life (see the entire series here) LIFE WITHOUT BRAVERY When we aren’t living with bravery we feel this discomfort of not living a life that is inline with our values, with who we want to be. To know your personal values, use these free worksheets WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE BRAVE? Social media may have given us a shinier image of what bravery is. But there is as real quiet, messier grit to it. DEFINITION OF BRAVERY The consistent forward motion in doing what is right, against resistance. HOW TO BE BRAVE You can’t just give yourself affirmations, you need new tools that allow your heart and mind to show up with bravery. You need: Direction Commitment/Ownership Challenge the autopilot Support Humility Integrity Compassion Hope/Faith/Trust Willingness WHAT ARE SIMPLE WAYS YOU CAN BE BRAVE TODAY? LINKS MENTIONED Show up for your life STEP ONE (Pay Attention) Show up for your life STEP TWO (Listen Closer) ‘Do the opposite’ Instagram post Life on Purpose Workbook Live your values free worksheet Live your vision free worksheet Future Self episode 21 (time stamp 8:45) Mindful Marriage episode 29 (time stamp 7:38) Wear lipstick today (on Fashion and Feeling Like You Are Too Much) Simple Saturdays Email Newsletter SIGN UP HERE The Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group (please answer the entry questions) The Reader Feedback Survey HEADS UP In the next couple weeks, the Simple Saturdays podcast will be renamed to Simple on Purpose - in order to differentiate it from the Simple Saturdays email newsletter Email Shawna here

Want to live life with more purpose? 5 years ago we stumbled upon our first 'life on purpose' conversation and since then we spend time each New Year to talk about how the year went and what we want in the year to come. I asked Conor if we could have some of this conversation in front of the microphone and share it on the podcast. . . . Things we covered on this episode: How Life on Purpose has changed for us over the years Reflecting on the goals we have had over the years The experience of using the Life on Purpose workbook last January Reviewed our home and family vision mottos from the past year Discussed a few priorities we are setting for the year ahead for our home and family life HOME Our home vision for 2019 was 'less piles, more renoing' How decluttering has changed our space and home His decluttering process with the kids' toys (as requested by our 8 year old) FAMILY Our family motto for 2019 was 'be a family that is present and proactive' Our plans for our family this summer Being a 'yes' parent PLANNING TOGETHER The power of planning together Who is the natural action-taker in the relationship (hint, not the type nine!) The surprising reason Conor agreed to start this process with me five years ago How to take a simple step to get started with planning life on purpose together with your partner Helpful Links That first time we sat down for Life on Purpose conversations on NYE 2015 Our basement decluttering before and after Enjoying our kids More on the hard times of marriage Live your vision worksheets and live your values worksheets Life on Purpose workbook (amazon.ca | amazon.com) Join the Simple on Purpose community Facebook Group

Do you long to be more present, more mindful, more intentional in your life? A major step in this is listening to your life, to your heart and to others in your life. This is the third part of the SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE SERIES Step one: Pay attention Step two: Listen closer Step three: Be brave Today we are talking about: what it means to LISTEN to your life, to those around you, to your heart how to assess the listening landscape of your home and family seek first to understand, then to understand when you feel like nobody listens to you things that keep us from listening well See the full post here. DO THE LIFE EVALUATION HERE Books or products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I love or feel would benefit your simple, on purpose life. LINKS MENTIONED The Untethered Soul 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child John Gottman's 'bids for connection' Enneagram 101 The Life on Purpose workbook The Life Evaluation Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email newsletter Life Coaching with Shawna

Dear mama, do you feel like you are on autopilot, overwhelmed, and losing passion for your life? How would it change things if you decided to SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE? You know, the life you DO have. I want to give you some guidance and strategies to help you do this. This is PART TWO to the Show Up For Your Life Series. In the first part, we talked about what it means to show up for your life, how to know if you are doing it and what it looks like. There are three steps to showing up for your life: pay attention listen closer be brave Today we are talking about paying attention. To read the full post transcript, go here. LINKS MENTIONED The Life on Purpose workbook The Life Evaluation Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email newsletter Life Coaching with Shawna

From one mom to another, showing up for our life is the hard work of being present, proactive and purposeful. I'm sharing my journey in showing up for my own life and giving you steps and insights to use that will help you SHOW UP FOR YOUR LIFE. Read the full post here on Showing Up For Your Life What does it mean to show up for your life? It means being responsible It means being active and not passive It is more than just 'productivity' It is about living in line with who you are and what you want Where can you show up for your life? Showing up for yourself Showing up for your partner Showing up for your kids/family Showing up for your friends Showing up for your world Why is Showing Up Hard? it calls us to engage it calls us to step up it calls us to be seen it calls us to challenge how we love it takes practice LINKS MENTIONED Subscribe to Simple Saturdays Marriage [When they tell me I'm lucky to have him] I stopped enjoying my kids [blog post] [podcast episode] Plan your day Workbook bonuses (sign up if you have purchased a Life on Purpose workbook) My Faves List Find me on Instagram @simpleonpurpose.ca

Do you want to simplify your Christmas? We're talking about strategies to both simplify Christmas and make it a special season for you and your family. This is part two of a two-part episode on this topic. Missed part one? Listen to Simplify Christmas (gifts, decor, mindsets). Episode 42 Simplify Your Christmas (kids, clutter, traditions, hosting, festivities) Kids We feel this tension of longing to make a magical Christmas and spoil our kids, while being mindful of the money, the excess and the culture of entitlement we might be contributing to. We try to consider the type of culture we want to create in our family when it comes to gifts. The excess from others We worry about the influx of gifts from friends and family. On the other side of this, is a gift-giver who longs to express their love and their love language might be gifts. They are still trying to show up and love you and your family and we can always be more open to the different ways people are expressing love to us. Focus on quality gifts over quantity I like the four gift rule (something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read). It is also satisfying to buy them toys that encourage engagement rather than just entertainment. Hosting Make hosting more about sharing life together and focussing on what is happening for them rather than all your own anxieties. Plan for the things that will be stressful for you (meals, activities, cleaning). Festivities We don’t have all the time, money and energy, so we have to choose how we spend it. Bring it back to your values and vision for the season and choose the things that are most in line with that. You can’t do everything, so choose what is the best for this year. All of these topics are covered in the Simple Christmas Planner After all, this is why I made it. To be a roadmap through how to simplify your Christmas, and how to identify and make Christmas a season that you and your family long to have. I know many of you have got your copy already—and some of you have printed off the pages that will best serve you. Whether you use it all, or the parts you need, I think the biggest benefit is having one space to walk through it all—and come back to it next year. Links mentioned: Why and How to Make Unique Christmas Traditions for your Family The 'Not-Enough' Mindset. Episode 40 Our Minimalist Family Home: Basement Before and After The Simple Christmas Planner Simple on Purpose Community Since there has been interested in starting a community group for the Simple on Purpose readers I’ve set up our community Facebook group. BUT, ONLY JOIN IF you want to be engaged in the conversations. In the spirit of keeping your life simple, don’t add another Facebook group to your digital life if you are just going to sit on the sidelines and not take part. If you are ready to join in, then we would love to chat with you there! TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

What issues do you have when you attempt to simplify Christmas? I asked this question in the Facebook group and on Instagram and was sent so many thoughtful questions—which tells me that I have the best readers, women who can feel the changes they want to make and see it right there and will take steps to get there! This is part one of a two-part episode addressing these issues. Simplify Your Christmas (Mindsets, Gifts, Decor) Christmas stress + expectations Christmas may have been magical as a child, but now we are adults and we feel the stress of all the activities, gifts, budgets, travel, etc. Just like we work at living our LIFE ON PURPOSE, we can get mindful and make a plan to have our CHRISTMAS ON PURPOSE. Planning is so important because it lets you make mindful decision ahead of time, so all that mental and prep work is done and you can just show up and enjoy the special days ahead. Gifts What sorts of expectations do you have when it comes to gift-giving? VS What are your values with gifts, what do gifts mean to you? When you are looking at your gift lists and thinking of what to buy people, it can help to consider how you want to express your love to them. How can you make them feel seen? Decor Christmas decor should be whatever you like. If you don’t know what you like, make a vision board on Pinterest and look for themes. Have/keep/buy decor that you LOVE and have room for. Listen to part two of Simplify Your Christmas. Links mentioned: My Faves The Simple Christmas Planner TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

Overwhelm in motherhood is often part of the role. There is so much to keep track of, manage, plan for, do. When we feel overwhelmed we often think we are doing something wrong, or we need to try harder, or our life is just too hard. Often the overwhelm causes us to stress and act from this stress response which gives us a negative outcome in our lives and homes. But overwhelm is a FEELING we have about the mental clutter in our brain. So, what do we do about the mental clutter? We need to lay it out, sort through it and make decisions on what to do next. FOUR STEPS TO DEAL WITH OVERWHELM Calm your nervous system Unpack and inventory - link- How to do a brain dump Prioritize like you mean it - links - Knowing Your Values free worksheet Knowing Your Vision free worksheet When you don't know what you want out of life (podcast episode 32) Take Action SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER Over the past few years, I have shared the Simple Christmas Series to help you prepare for Christmas (everything from gift-giving, to advent, to party food). I am taking this information and giving it legs so you can put it INTO ACTION. The Simple Christmas Planner will be released in the next two weeks. It will take you through the mindsets, expectations, simplifying, gift lists, planning and preparing the Christmas that YOU WANT for you and your family! Stay tuned to the Simple Saturdays email for more info! Subscribe to the Simple Saturdays email

In this episode we're talking about the 'not-enough' mindset. AKA how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset. The 'not-enough' mindset believes there is not enough to go around Not enough... Money Time Food Energy Attention Readers Friends Spotlight Praise Etcetera 'Not-enough' mindset says if they have some, there must be less in the world for me Scarcity mindset also believes things need to be 'right' to be acceptable and it puts us in a victim mentality. In contrast to the scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset Here are some ways to see when a scarcity mindset is taking place of an abundance mindset. Feeling jealousy/comparison vs celebrating others and yourself Feeling worry/fixation vs being present and peaceful Getting overwhelmed/burnt out vs managing your energy and making time for rest Hustling/Hoarding vs setting healthy boundaries and limits for yourself Complaining/Gossiping vs having an open mind and speaking positively Feeling discontented/frustrated vs acknowledging where you are growing and moving forward What an abundance mindset offers I am enough. There is enough. If I don't get this—it wasn't for me. Life happens for me not against me. Abundance mindset allows us to see our present life with gratitude, to trust in ourselves, and to bring peace into our relationships. If scarcity mindset is something you struggle with and you would like more guidance on it, schedule a free 30-minute life coaching session with me and I will help you walk through it. Learn more about life coaching with me. Links mentioned: Simple Saturdays newsletter sign up The Perfect Moments Project The 'Not-Enough' Mindset (How to Spot a Scarcity Mindset and Shift it Into an Abundance Mindset) [blog post] Simple on Purpose Community Since there has been interested in starting a community group for the Simple on Purpose readers I’ve set up our community Facebook group. BUT, ONLY JOIN IF you want to be engaged in the conversations. In the spirit of keeping your life simple, don’t add another Facebook group to your digital life if you are just going to sit on the sidelines and not take part. If you are ready to join in, then we would love to chat with you there! TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

Hygge is a Danish word describing the atmosphere of connection, contentment and coziness. Once I had decluttered my house, I felt really drawn to bringing hygge into my home and life. In reading about it, I learned that there are some differences between hygge and minimalism. Knowing the difference helps me see where I am directing my intentions on how I set up my space and life. In this podcast I'm covering: How hygge compares with minimalism (read the full post here) Three mindsets to bring hygge into your everyday life (read the full post here) Thirty ways you can hygge in the colder months (see the list here) I am basing a lot of my discussion on hygge from these books: Any books or products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I love or feel would benefit your simple, on purpose life. The Book of Hygge by Louisa Thomsen Brits The Little Book of Hygge by Miek Wiking To get connected: Join the facebook community group Share your thoughts on Instagram

Today on the podcast we're talking about visualization (it's really wild) and three mindset shifts to help you declutter your home. I'm also giving you a sneak peek of my upcoming masterclass! Simple Life Visualization. The practice of sitting there, thinking about what you want, imagining how it feels and smells and looks, getting very detailed, running yourself through the space and process of being there. All of these things are wiring new thought patterns in your brain and your brain thinks they are legit! VISUALIZATION WORKS AT CHANGING OUR BRAIN’S THOUGHT PATTERNS SO when you are preparing to DO THE THING whether it is run a race, or have turkey with your crazy family, or declutter your basement—you get more success at figuring out HOW to do and more success achieving your vision BECAUSE your brain has started laying the groundwork. Action for today Science is telling us that visualization is your mental dress rehearsal that increases your likelihood of achieving the outcome you visualize. The main reason it works is because we FIND WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR. When we are preparing for the worst, that is all we will see. When we are preparing for the best then our brain looks for evidence that it is true. So often we go about our day getting anxiety over the worst possible outcomes that COULD HAPPEN. We are still using visualization but in a negative way. So, take something in your future and consider the best possible outcome you want from it. Then start to use visualization to imagine and practice it. THREE MINDSETS TO SHIFT BEFORE DECLUTTERING YOUR HOME I think what we miss when we look at checklists of things to remove from our home is the MINDSET that is required to make it effective. We need to investigate what we think about getting started, why we want to do it, how much believe we have in ourselves to accomplish it and so on. In my experience with life coaching women on this topic and decluttering my own home—I think there are three mindsets that can be very common hurdles to getting started with decluttering. I want to break down some of them here and offer you a mindset shift you can try for each one. 1. Decluttering is a chore I don't have time for In the past, I had always viewed decluttering as a chore. It was work to go through all those boxes in the basement, and there was other ‘more important’ work I could do instead. So it wasn’t getting done. I had no motivation to declutter until I had a vision and a ‘why’ for myself. My ‘why’ was this drive to rehaul how I was living in my home with my ‘stuff’. My ‘why’ was to create an atmosphere in my home where my kids had SPACE to play, create, imagine. My ‘why’ was to create a place that was inviting to anyone who came to our door. mindset shift: decluttering is an action i take to create the space i want to live in 2. I already have enough of everything, I don’t really need to declutter. When I started decluttering and was face to face with how much stuff I had bought that I didn’t like or didn’t need or never have used – I got this achy knot in my stomach. All that money that I spent, all the time I spent shopping, all those things I thought I needed. I have more than enough. I have enough clothes (that I never wear), and kitchen gadgets (I never use), and books (I never read), and why do I have like seven half-used conditioners and four curling irons in the bathroom??…you get the idea. mindset shift: decluttering will help me determine what i do have enough of and where there is excess i can let go of 3. I'm a victim of my home When I started decluttering, my big goal was to clear space, and then once that space was clear it felt like a clean slate to create the home we wanted. We have invested in the long game of decluttering and creating spaces that we love and our kids love. I will say now, that I truly love my home (the same home I was so eager to move out of so many times).

Do you tell yourself that you suck at organizing? And you will never get organized? Being mindful of the story we tell about ourselves of the story we tell ourselves about how we suck at organizing - and being mindful of the mistakes we might be making that trip us up. I have decluttered my home and worked on finding systems, routines and ways to organize our home that doesn't require me to buy one of everything from IKEA and have hourly training sessions with my family on how to use the pantry. LINKS Five Common Mistakes We Might Make When Organizing Our Home View the full blog post here (with pictures I talked about of our closet, the hutch) Instagram Stories (MomOffice Stories) The Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group Instagram

Ways to simplify momlife is part two of the wrap up for the You Can Simplify Your Life series. Did you miss part one? Listen to 5 things that make my life simpler. Simple Life There are so many demands on our resources (time, space, energy, money)—this makes it feel like our life is not simple. But how do we do that as moms? How do we manage our own resources when everyone is demanding them 25 hours a day? The best way to simplify your life is to find what feels simple TO YOU. BUT, I know that as part of that process it is helpful to get ideas on how other moms are simplifying. So I will share some of the things I've done to simplify momlife and maybe some of them will work in your own life. 6 Ways to Simplify MomLife Taking time to slow down and be at home We will always think our lives are too busy when we feel like there isn’t enough time. If we fill our days going from place to place or chore to chore then we will feel the tension of living a life that has no time for the things we want and need. And we all need time to rest, and that time isn’t just given to us by some time fairy. We need to schedule in time to rest and recharge. Operating the household with a calendar and planner Planning is a game changer in motherhood! When I have a plan I feel in control, more relaxed and things get done that are supposed to get done. Knowing what needs to happen, preparing for it, and making sure everyone knows the plan makes my life a lot easier. Using technology to keep me on task I set calendar alarms for almost everything. From signing school forms at night to stops I need to make on the way to school pick up tomorrow, to a text message I want to make in a week. I put it all in my phone calendar and set two alarms to go off at different intervals so I don’t miss it. Limiting the number of extracurricular activities we have as a family I know this is a very personal issue so I am not saying that our way is right. This is what works for us, right now. I appreciate being at home with the kids after school and giving them downtime to play with the neighbourhood kids, and play lego, and read, and whatever. I know these days won’t always be here and they will be teenagers and we will be signing them up for ALL the activities. Keeping celebrations simple, but meaningful There are so many birthdays and holidays in a year that it can drain our resources fast to keep up a high level with each of them. But if we can keep them simple and thoughtful it feels much more manageable and purposeful. We can pay attention to what the best activity or experience or gift might be for someone and make them feel seen and special in so many ways. We don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Here is your permission slip! Planning out the upcoming year/season I love doing this because it lets us get clear on where to focus our efforts, time and money. We can work together (“teamwork makes the dream work”) and because I know we will do it again next time, I don’t feel the pressure to DO ALL THE THINGS in one summer, or one holiday. You can see all of these things are about planning how we will use our resources—they help me get very intentional about where I allocate my time, money, energy and space. Simplifying your life and planning how to use your resources is also a way of being intentional with the years you have with your kids at home. It means asking what kind of family culture you want to have, what things you want to make sure are top priority for the years your kids are in your house, and still making space for you to live your life too. Simple on Purpose Community Since there has been interest in starting a community group for the Simple on Purpose readers I’ve set up our community Facebook group. BUT, ONLY JOIN IF you want to be engaged in the conversations. In the spirit of keeping your life simple, don’t add another Facebook group to your digital life if you are just going to sit on the sid...

I wanted to wrap up my You Can Simplify Your Life series with things that make my life simpler. Simple Life Living simple and on purpose is a very personalized thing. It means taking the time to find out what simple looks and feels like to you. It means setting your own vision and values and prioritizing your life/time/home/energy/money according to your vision and values. [convertkit form=1002085] When life is simpler we can SHOW UP AND ENJOY IT! These are things that make my life simpler and I hope there are some tips and strategies in there for you to try. 5 things that make my life simpler Decluttering my space Clearing the clutter from my home allowed me see I could have control over how I use my space. I saw the benefits of creating space for the home life I wanted. Decluttering helped me learn where and how to take control and make space in my life too. Meal planning for me and my people Feeding myself well hasn’t come naturally and I’ve had to learn how to feed myself and my people, everyday, many times a day. I’m a big fan of planning what makes your life easier and meal planning makes my life easier. Creating a capsule wardrobe Mornings are easier when I have fewer clothes, because they are the clothes I love to wear and feel like myself in. Having buffer time in the mornings Mornings matter. I want to give everyone space and time to have a smooth morning where they have found the one sweater they are willing to wear, ate food, and where they feel emotionally ready for the day. Having a weekly rhythm for my family I really love family rhythms because they give me peace of mind that there is time and space for everything to happen this week. Also, it gives the kids a lot of security to know what is routinely expected of them and what to expect from us. SIMPLIFYING IS WORTH THE WORK Simplifying is worth it because when our life feels simple, we feel in control. We don’t scramble around putting out fires, we feel like there is time and space for what we need and want in life. The Facebook group is live! If you are part of any Facebook groups you know they are a great place to ask questions, find support, share your wins and get accountability with your goals. Since there has been interest in starting a community group for the Simple on Purpose readers I’ve set up our community Facebook group. BUT, ONLY JOIN IF you want to be engaged in the conversations. In the spirit of keeping your life simple, don’t add another Facebook group to your digital life if you are just going to sit on the sidelines and not take part. If you are ready to join in, then we would love to chat with you there! Links mentioned: You Can Simplify Your Life Series Why Minimalism Works at Changing Your Life A Simple Hack to Make Meal Planning Easy 6 Unexpected Ways That Having Less Clothes Has Made Life Easier Family Rhythms + Free Worksheet Simple on Purpose Community TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

We're into part four of the You Can Simplify Your Life Series. Let’s take all this work and oozing self-awareness and make a plan on how to move forward. Part Four of the YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE SERIES​ Read part one here Listen to part one here Read part two here Listen to part two here Read part three here Listen to part three here Simple life Today we are also wrapping up the YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE series! I want to tell you what has worked for me and offer it to you as a way you might simplify your own life. You can include as many/as little waffles, ugly cries in the tub, and outlander episodes as you see fit! How to simplify your life, step by step 1. Clear the clutter Once I decluttered my home I started decluttering my life. I could do this BECAUSE space was now created for the home and life I wanted. What distractions and clutter need to be cleared out to make space for the life you want? 2. Prioritize how you will use your resources Use your life vision and values to be a compass and a filter for you in the choices you want to make about how to use your resources. Commit to those choices even when they are against the grain. 3. Plan things that make your life easier Becoming a mom made me see how much more in control I am when I have a plan for my day or week. When there is a framework of what is happening and how, then I can have more freedom to fill my time and energy with fun things. What can you plan that will make your life easier? 4. Set rhythms to get things done We are actually in control of how our day and our week flows, so make sure to put some intention into the rhythms you DO want in your life. 5. Small steps, on purpose I’ve learned that it is more effective and lasting to focus on the little steps you can make. Through minimum baseline (give yourself a small task you can’t say no to), and to doing one thing a day your future self will thank you for—you can slowly and consistently readjust your life course to your new destination. Start small and move along, on purpose. 6. Enjoy it. I will say this point until the day the good Lord calls me home to where streets are lined with waffles: It is not WHAT you do, it is HOW you do it! What matters most is HOW YOU SHOW UP! If you simplify your life, declutter your home, print all the printables and check all the boxes but you are still complaining about your husband, grumbling about your life and stressed to the max by your kids, then what is this all even for? It is FOR YOU, so show up for it! I say this with love and understanding for what it is like to feel exhausted and frustrated and lost and messy. It is hard work to show up, with contentment and mindfulness. It takes a lot of work and practice. But it is always available to you! If you want some guidance through showing up for your life in better ways that reach out for a quick life coaching consult call to see if we would be a good fit together. I have some spaces opening up for the fall. Get the worksheets for PART FOUR of YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR HOME, sign up below or click here Links mentioned: You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part One (blog post) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part One (podcast episode 30) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part Two (blog post) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part Two (podcast episode 31) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part Three (blog post) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part Three (podcast episode 32) Identity Clutter Plan Your Day, Change Your Life A Simple Hack to Make Meal Planning Easier How to Plan Your Summer on Purpose Brain Dump, Kid’s Clothes Storage, Minimum Baseline to Change Babits. Episode 3 parenting books that changed my mothering, your future self, #mayonpurpose instagram challenge. episode 21 Pre-Coaching Consult TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email,

When you don't know how you want to show up in your daily life you won’t ever feel like you are being the person you WANT to be. You live with this tension like things aren’t right—like you aren’t enough. In part 3 of the You Can Simplify Your Life series we're pursuing life on purpose by working through what we want and deciding what kind of person we want to be along the way. Part Three of the YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE SERIES​ Read part one here Listen to part one here Read part two here Listen to part two here Simple style Follow #moms30for30 I am really enjoying the 30for30 style challenge this summer. I needed it to give me some reminders that 30 items is A LOT OF CLOTHES! I don't think I've worn all 30 yet and we are halfway through. I have been sharing my outfits on Instagram if you want to follow along. Simple life When you don't know what you want in life This portion is my favourite because this is what really propelled me and Conor to really start setting out a vision for the life we wanted. This is the process of setting out your vision and values. I’ve been in this process for over five years, I life coach women on it, I think about it, I preach it, I wrote a book about it (the Life on Purpose workbook). WOMEN! FRIENDS! It is time to stop and ask yourself two things that will allow you to really start living the simpler, more purposeful life you crave. Question 1 WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? Question 2 WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO FEEL LIKE? When we don’t know these things then we are at the mercy of our autopilot life. Autopilot is that rut we are in of the same thoughts, actions, reactions, and feelings we have each day. We aren’t working towards any bigger, empowering vision of the life we want to build into. We are just bobbing about in our daily life, hoping that our future self will somehow have it all figured out by then. I know when I started to ask these questions about what I wanted and who I wanted to be, with three small kids all at home, it felt daunting. But I had come to this point where I felt restless with my life, I felt like I was just surviving, I was tired, and just overwhelmed by looking at all the amazing things other women were doing with their lives. Over my years of pursuing life on purpose, I feel it has three steps: knowing what you want deciding what kind of person you want to be along the way making steps (from micro-steps to big goals) in that direction (we will cover this in PART FOUR!) So let's get started today with the first two This past spring I launched a workshop to guide you through this process of KNOWING YOUR VISION AND VALUES. Many of you had asked me to bring it back, so I'm happy to relaunch the replay as a freebie to help you with this portion of the YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE SERIES. This workshop is 45 minutes and it takes you through the entire vision and value setting process There are worksheets to follow along with or you can use the Life on Purpose Workbook This workshop is for those of you who are ready to TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF The workshop includes time to actually put pen to paper so you will get the most out of it and end the session with your own values and vision laid out for you! To get access to the workshop and the worksheets, ​simply fill in the form below or click here Links mentioned: #moms30for30 You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part One (blog post) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part One (podcast episode 30) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part Two (blog post) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Part Two (podcast episode 31) Getting Started with Intentional Living The Life on Purpose Workbook Parenting Books that Changed My Mothering, Your Future Self, #MayonPurpose Instagram Challenge, Episode 21 Choose Your Discomfort (Life Coach Advice on Making Uncomfortable Change in Your Life)

What hurdles are we up against that make having a simpler life difficult? In my years of pursuing LIFE ON PURPOSE, and in my experience life coaching women, I know that there can be a lot of "WHY NOTs" that pop up for us. They tell us a lot about our own limiting mindsets and obstacles that hold us back. Follow #moms30for30 I am so excited that over 30 women have joined the challenge to wear 30 items for 30 days and learn about their style and their clothes and mindsets in it all. Some of these women are just posting pictures in our message group, some are sharing on Instagram. Catch my Instagram stories to see my epic Mid-30s Canadian Mom Outfit Selfies (almost always featuring a basket of laundry in the background). Today we will focus on PART TWO of the You CAN Simplify Your Life series with the 10 Reasons Why Your Life is Not Simpler Read part one here Listen to part one here Simple Life Many of us want to have a simpler life, but we don't. What hurdles are we up against that make this change hard? REMEMBER, whatever is sticking out for you as a possible reason, that you aren't doing anything 'wrong'. You are just doing what you have always done and that is your brain's goal: Efficiency! Think what you've always thought, do what you've always done, live on auto-pilot and conserve energy. Get the journalling worksheets that go with this episode 10 Reasons Why Your Life is Not Simpler 1. We are buying into the glorification of "busy" We live in a culture of busy that tells us (moms!) that if you aren't busy you are "lazy." I think it all comes down to our motives for "being busy." I love to turn to a tool like the Enneagram for this because the Enneagram is so focused on our inner motives. 2. We don’t know what we want The day I realized I didn’t want this hand-me-down pre-fabricated template of what a successful life looks like, it felt like my life was a blank canvas. How many of us know what we REALLY want from our lives? (We will talk about this more next part of this series!) 3. We don’t know how to start If you have thought a lot about simplifying your life, you have probably also met a lot of internal resistance. What reasons are popping up for you about why it’s not the "right time"? In order to start something you need to feel willing, ready and able. 4. We don’t know how to maintain it I am the first one to advocate for making list and plans, but maintaining ANYTHING also needs motivation and strategy to maintain. (We will dig into this more in the final part of this series.) 5. We aren’t showing up well Our life will never ever feel simple or be simple until we can show up well for it: with feelings that are proactive, positive, and present. In all my experience as an adult woman, wife, life coach, friend, and mom I feel that everything comes down to this one thing: how we show up. (I will talk about this more in Part Three.) 6. We are making a statement If we say we want to make a change, but we almost live in a way that is the opposite we are probably making a statement to our own inner beliefs or to the expectations of others. 7. We don’t think our resources are important or precious We look at all our resources through a lens of how "renewable" or "precious" they are to us. Every resource is yours to be a good steward of, which resource feels most neglected? 8. We can’t say no to others Things feel noble when we are someone who "puts others first," but all this serving can still be a form of striving for security and acceptance. 9. We can’t say no to ourselves I’m not talking about "putting ourselves first." I am talking about having self-control and showing up for ourselves to actually follow through on the actions we know we want—the ones that give us life instead of distracting us from life. 10. We don’t see that we DO have control When we become aware that we actually DO have control, we also become aware that nobody else will ever do this for ...

Today's episode is part one of four about what simple living comes down to. It's a series about why we don’t have a simple life, how to determine what simple looks like to you and how to get started. By the way, I'm summarizing my post What Simple Living Really Comes Down To so if you want to dig into the details make sure to head over there once you're finished listening. Do you want to join in a #moms30for30? Read more about them here, see the Instagram hashtag, and message me on Instagram if you want to join in! What Simple Living Comes Down To When you hear the term "a simple life," what springs to mind? I want to dig into WHAT IS simple living and how to know where your life is simple and where it isn’t. And, by the way, this isn’t all about moving the country, homeschooling and raising chickens. When you hear the term "a simple life" do you imagine a mom hanging laundry on the line and making homemade dinners foraged from her garden while her children read to each other in their screen-free home? This might be an ideal simple life to some, but let’s just bust that myth right now. That's not simple for everyone and YOU get to decide what simple is. What Would Make Your Life Simpler? Pay attention to how you answer this. Simple living comes down to is this one thing: How we manage our resources. Resources Time (your daily schedule, your family calendar, extracurricular activities, commitments, downtime, how do you TRULY spend your time?) Space (in your home, in your yard, in your cupboards, how is your space used?) Money (your regular household budget) Emotional energy (stressors, coping skills, mindfulness, self-awareness, relationships with others, relationship with yourself) Physical energy (running errands, driving people around, exercise, chores, social engagements, how do you fuel your body and how do you use your body?) Resources are those things we only have so much of. They are those things that are also the currency of our daily lives. They allow us to show up, and be, and do. What we crave is called "simple" but really it means we get to USE OUR RESOURCES in the ways we DESIRE TO LIVE. Simple living means removing the distractions and drains of our resources so we apply our resources to the life we truly want. why are we mismanaging our resources? So we can probably all see ways we that we are mismanaging our resources and left with not enough to live the life we want to live. I think there are a few reasons that lead up to this: We don't see we ARE in control of our lives and our resources We aren't listening to ourselves about what we want in life We don't really know how to get what we want In the coming weeks, we will dig into each of these points and walk through them together and hold hands and I'll whisper motivational messages to you. Yes, it will be meaningful and magical and hopefully, it will help you simplify your life. If you want to get deeper and journal about this (you are my people!), then download the freebie journaling exercise to help you unpack some of this and reflect on how you are using your own resources. [convertkit form=999706] Links mentioned: What Simple Living Really Comes Down To Til We Have Just Enough Stuff Identity Clutter (How Clutter Prevents Our Personal Growth) Our Minimalist Family Home: Basement Before and After Real Reasons Why You Can't Finish Decluttering The Life on Purpose Workbook What is the Life You Want? How to Get that Feeling (Why Values Matter + Free Live Your Values Worksheet) TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

Thanks for joining me for another Simple Saturday. In this episode, I'm talking about how we approach birthdays on purpose, the time my husband and I forgot our anniversary (we were camping), how to be mindful about what's happening in your heart and mind and strategies to implement when you want to go buy all new clothes. Simple Family | How we approach birthdays on purpose This past week was my daughter, Lenayah’s 7th birthday. I admire a mom who embraces the birthday theme, rents a space, and invites the whole class to come. I also have to respect the mom I am and know that this will turn me into a stress ball. But that is okay, we don't all have to do the same thing and I KNOW there are many ways I can make my kids feel celebrated and have a memorable birthday. We aim to give our kids gifts that are experiences, something homemade or something simple and exactly what they are interested in. For my daughter this year, we are sending her to horse camp. And since we KNOW that gifts and crafts are her love language, we made her a wooden horse (#notacraftblogger) and bought her some Spirit play horses. She loved it all. It's how we approach birthdays on purpose. I know we are a bit against the norm when it comes to birthdays, and it is not to say our way is correct and others are wrong. This is the way that is right for our family and I want to give all moms freedom to birthday from a place of peace and purpose because that allows you to show up and truly celebrate your loved one more freely and passionately. #bethemomyouare Simple Heart | Showing up in marriage means a truck load of mindfulness June is a very special month. It is the birth and marriage month of many friends. It is the birth month of Conor and Lenayah (birthdays on purpose). Also, it is our dating anniversary (15 years!) and our marriage anniversary (11 years). And it is when the peonies are blooming and we are contemplating if we will ever save up for air conditioning. How to be mindful about what is happening in your heart and mind This past week of us being on the road, camping and travelling with the kids have given me such underlying anxiety that it has been hard to enjoy the life in front of me. I could feel myself getting annoyed. This was me this week and I needed MINDFULNESS (I know it is a buzzword, but it is powerful) I had to take time alone and really drill down into what was happening in my brain. In fact, I had to coach myself. I asked things like: What am I feeling? When did I start feeling it? What am I making it mean? Is it true? (Very helpful on a bad day) What am I trying to get out of this situation? (Our motives are sneaky!) How is it making me act? (Probably not in a way that serves you well) What do I really want the most? (What do I value in my marriage—use the vision setting prompts to help you with this) How can I shift my thinking to empower myself and how I show up right now? If you are scared by this autopilot part of your brain that feels dark and musty and requiring some cleaning and restoration, know that you don’t need to run to therapy right now and fix it all. You just need to START WITH MINDFULNESS. Marriage is a topic that comes up with every single mom I coach, regardless of the other issues we are coaching on. If you want a free mini-session to work through a marriage struggle you are facing then book your call right here. Simple Style | How to love your summer wardrobe when you want to go buy all new clothes This past week I was packing for five days away. I put outfits in piles and put them into my bag. Then added a bit more, probably enough for double that now. I looked into my closet and realized I still lots left. I was taken back to the times I have done a #moms30for30 (30 items for 30 days) and how EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I re-learn that I do have so much already, I just need to get more creative with it. If you are feeling like your summer wardrobe needs t...

Part of the reason I'm planning my summer on purpose is I'm working on my efforts to ENJOY MY KIDS. And when there is a season change I know I need to take a hot minute and plan out a structure that makes sure fun is happening without me feeling overwhelmed or behind the ball. Ready to plan your summer on purpose? In this episode I'm sharing about the family rhythms we have in our house on a daily and weekly basis. I also have a worksheet for you! It will help you set rhythms for your family that are effective, fun and working towards the values and vision you have for your family. Simple Life | How to Plan Your Summer on Purpose My summer master plan is titled: “How To Summer With Kids and Enjoy This Time So You Aren’t Googling ‘How to petition for year-round school‘ After Two Weeks of Picking Up Popsicle Wrappers and Refereeing Sprinkler Fights.” Here's how I will put it into action without feeling like an understaffed kid’s camp director. Get my kids' input.If it was up to me we would sit on the deck eating nachos and reading novels all summer—but I want them to have a summer they are excited about too. So we have been talking lots about what they want to do and I’ve been adding it to a big list of ideas. Then I’m gonna plan out the big things I know are happening.This includes: swim lessons, the time at Grandmas, and the big events and outings we have planned with my bestie or with Conor when he’s off work. Then I have random chunks of days left.What I’m going to try is to theme my days. I’m gonna probably have a craft day, library day, science day, hike day, a nothing day, and a food day where they get to think of something to make and we buy the stuff for it. So if I’m looking at my calendar, I know we are gonna do maybe 5-8 science experiments. I’ll pick some and the kids will pick some and I’ll get the stuff for it. Simple Family | Family Rhythm Family rhythm is in the things you find yourselves doing each week; the routines, the activities, the rituals—all those things that now happen out of habit as a way of getting things done, or having fun, or unwinding. They are actually quite important to a family and to your kids. They provide consistency, comfort, belonging, expectations and a flow of getting things done. The things we do most often are what matter the most. (Side note: did you know this is how you spell rhythm? I've been spelling it rhythym my whole adult life!) Free Coaching on Decluttering I am working on a course to take you through the evaluation, planning and doing to RECLAIM YOUR HOME. I thought it would be so beneficial to add in some real coaching calls from people who are struggling with simplifying their space. So, I want to ask for volunteers of people who are willing to do a (free) 45 minute coaching call on these topics: Someone who HASN'T STARTED decluttering yet, but they are ready to get serious about it and need some motivation/clarity to get started Someone who is IN the process of decluttering and is feeling stuck/need motivation/facing hurdles And someone who is DONE decluttering and ready for the next steps to simplify their life I will accept a couple volunteers for each of these categories. The calls will be over SKYPE and will be recorded as part of course training material. You can remain anonymous and use a fake and fabulous made up name if you like. APPLY HERE FOR COACHING ON RECLAIMING YOUR HOME Links mentioned: When did I stop enjoying my kids? (blog post) When did I stop enjoying my kids? (podcast episode) Awesome Summer List: 2019 Sorta Awesome podcast about theming your days A year of family meetings How to build the culture of your family Plan your day, change your life Family Rhythms worksheet TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

Have you spent time decluttering your home? Decluttering WILL be an emotional process because it means separating the life you want from the life you are building by default. Moreover, decluttering is emotional because your eyes are opened to where you have been living on default and also what it has cost you or cost the world around you. In this episode of Simple Saturdays I share how I reframed my view on decluttering's role as well as some great freebies from the Life on Purpose workbook. Simple Home | Decluttering Here are 8 things I realized/learned/relearned from spending the year decluttering my family home: The line between ‘enough’ and ‘excess’ is easily crossed I’ve wasted so much money I’m filling space for the sake of filling space I’ve made so much waste This is all just a distraction Life is still messy It is a mindset, not an end goal It leads to more Simple Life | Life on Purpose Workbook I have some really great freebies I’m excited to share with you. To help you get started with setting out your LIFE ON PURPOSE, I took some of the content from the Life on Purpose workbook and condensed it into two starter worksheets. Links below. Links mentioned: Harlem Globetrotters People Are Awesome 5-Minute Crafts I Decluttered My Home for a Year, Here is What I Learned Identity Clutter Life on Purpose workbook Why Values Matter (free worksheet) Why Vision Setting Matters (free worksheet) Working Through Unhappiness in Motherhood, Life Coaching Steps for Handling a Bad Day. Bonus Q+A Episode 25 Having Personal Goals and Dreams While Mothering Small Kids. Bonus Q+A Episode 26 TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTION/TOUCH BASE WITH ME Simply reply to the Simple Saturdays email, message me on Instagram, message me on Facebook, or email me here.

In the last episode, I answered a reader question on feeling unhappiness in motherhood and gave life coaching advice on working through a bad day. (Find that here) In this episode, I will answer this great question: Right now I am struggling with motivation - for bigger goals for myself (and motivation in general). After I became a mom I had to shut down the BIG dreamer in me because it was taking away from me being able to be present and content with where I am now. So...it’s this conundrum...don’t want more than you can accomplish but want just enough that challenges you to stay motivated to grow and move towards those goals. If you had any input on this balancing act, I would sure appreciate it. Links mentioned: Push and Pull of Motherhood (featured in Huffington Post) Swinging too far away from motherhood when you are trying to reclaim yourself 33 and Restless in Motherhood The first time we ever sat down and set out some vision for our life and family That time I decided to bring out the sewing machine Embroidering with my kids Enneagram 101 Facebook Instagram Email

Answering a reader question: What you do when you feel like you want to cry, feel you're not doing what you plan to do? All your plans are a disaster? Your children are not listening or following the rules? In this episode I will answer this question and discuss the following points: How our judgements on feeling 'unhappiness' makes moving through it difficult Doubling down on the stress How we handle our 'negative emotions' Managing stress in motherhood Assessing your day to see what needs to shift Resetting with our kids while taking our own emotional responsibility Keeping a bad day bad or letting everyone move on Center in on the mom you want to be. Links mentioned: Mom Martyr Life Coaching with Shawna In the next episode, I will answer Question 2 all about shutting down that big dreamer in your when you become a mom.

WHY does everyone say that minimalism changed their lives? A reader's story with decluttering and making space for the life that matters Eyebrows matter and simple makeup tips to help you Life coaching advice on uncomfortable change in our lives (health, decluttering, marriage, etc). MENTIONED My pep talk on Instagram Stories “HAPPINESS IS AVAILABLE TO ME TODAY”-- look under the Mom on Purpose Highlights Catch up with the May On Purpose posts (even if you don’t participate, they are interesting to read through) SIMPLE LIFE Why minimalism works at changing your life For all the talk we give to minimalism, it must make you wonder what the big deal is. Why do people rave about it and want to start blogs and podcasts all about? The reason you will often hear that it has changed their lives. I couldn’t agree more. But (in true over-thinker fashion) I started to ask WHY. Why does minimalism change our lives? LINKS MENTIONED: Six Types of Minimalists Read the blog post for WHY minimalism works at changing your life. Reader's story on making space for the life that matters (by Leisell) (And if you have a story you want to share, email me and let’s talk!) SIMPLE STYLE Eyebrows matter LINKS MENTIONED: #moms30for30 Style Tips for the reluctant mom Grave’s disease (autoimmune thyroid condition) Brow School (by Maskcara) Natural filler (a simple way to fill with brown powder) The IT eyebrow pencil (my fave, it lasts forever - unless you drop it - and it stays on when you swim) The Sephora brow powder (it’s a good price and gives you a natural look) LIFE COACHING Choose your discomfort (read the transcribed post here) LINKS MENTIONED: How to really show up for your life

When we have so much stuff we lose track of ourselves. We have built up a false identity in THINGS. SIMPLE HOME IDENTITY CLUTTER These things take up our space and cause us a lot of emotional, mental and physical burden. We need to shift our mindsets from SCARCITY TO ABUNDANCE (there will always be enough for you) READ MORE HERE Also mentioned: the workbook on tolerations and the blog post about decision fatigue and choices SIMPLE TIP We can't always spend a weekend decluttering. But we can declutter on the go. Keep a bag or box in your home to collect things you are ready to let go to the thrift. SIMPLE WELLNESS OIL CLEANSING For almost 7 years I have not used face wash. Instead, I do the oil cleansing method. My sis in law told me about when I told her my skin was oily. The oil ABSORBS the oil without stripping moisture off your skin! READ MORE HERE

How I handled the lack of sleep with three kids under 4, a quick way to simplify your life, and a fun list of current things I'm loving and trying. ++ simple family ++ When I was two babies in, sleep became such a focus for me. Of course, we were dealing with marriage issues and I was struggling to find value in my motherhood - so sleep seemed like the most appropriate thing to fixate on. I was tired all the time, I felt like I was failing at parenting, and I didn’t know how to solve these negative feelings There was something I learned by the time Dawson came along, three babies in, that I want to share to any mom in this stage. links mentioned: Mom Martyr The Sweet Sleep Facebook Live Mindsets for Tired Moms (and if you are very tired, seriously check out the Sweet Sleep Parenting Facebook group by my Sierra of Sweet Sleep Consulting). ++ simple life ++ One of the quickest ways you can simplify ANY AREA of your life is to give yourself fewer choices. Related book: The Paradox of Choice So take any area of your life and give yourself fewer choices to make. Here are a few ways to try it out: Less clothes Read more: 6 Unexpected Ways That Having Less Clothes Has Made My Life Easier Less food Less toys Read more: What happened when I took away half of my kids’ toys Read more: Practical advice for purging kids’ toys Less activity Read the full post on areas of your life you can simplify with fewer choices, click here ++ the currently list ++ EATING This Quinoa Thai Peanut Salad for lunch. I was having a few gluten free weeks to see if it helped some health issues, so I made this to have on hand for lunches USING The jumping juniper shampoo bar by LUSH. It was discontinued and brought back again. I love it because it is zero waste AND it helps me stretch my hair washing (I wash my hair about twice a week, read more here) READING Run Hide Repeat. A bestie recommended this book. Then I heard this authour on CBC talk about how her mom was really secretive and they moved around a lot. Then as an adult her mom and her childhood Pastor told her they were being hunted by the Mafia all these years. As she gets brought into this new secret she realizes it could all be a lie. It is GOOD (and Canadian!) DISCUSSING The Q&A A Day book. My SIL gave this to us, just in time for us to finish our 5 year One Line A Day book. We bring it out and ask a question at dinner. The kids love it and it brings up some interesting conversation. LISTENING TO the Abide App. This is a Christian meditation app. I am confused by what meditation means, but I’m seeing it means quieting your mind and just being open to what God wants to share with you. This app guides you through some really great questions to meditate on and it really helps keep you in the moment. RECONNECTING WITH My love of being outside. I went to college for Environmental Planning and we were outside EVERY DAY! I forgot how much I loved it all and hope to do more hikes with my bestie and the kids. ++ May on Purpose ++ MAY 1st! Be on Instagram and join in for the Instagram photo a day #MayOnPurpose. The prompts are right here. It is such a great way to get real purposeful about how you use social media, and it gives me a chance to see what my Simple Saturday friends are up to and have these conversations with you on Instagram.

Three parenting books and why I loved them, how to support your "future self" (a lesson from your nerdy life coach (me!)), connect with me on Instagram in the Photo a Day challenge ++ simple family ++ My parenting has been all over the map in my humble 8 years of doing it. I have failed and learned and when I got the hang of something, things would change. I am far from a parenting expert, but as I have relied on other moms to do with me, I will take the opportunity to share what has worked for me in my mothering journey. I'm sharing THREE BOOKS THAT CHANGED MY MOTHERING right here. My highlights: NEVER SAY NO Raising Big-Picture Kids (see it here) This book helps me say yes to the opportunities my kids have to practice who they are and how they show up in the world. We all have that little creative and curious voice inside - we all have probably shut it down over time. I know I shut it down in childhood and then in high school looked to others to be that voice. Then I became and adult and worked hard to unearth that voice and tune my ears to listen closer to my own heart. RAISING AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT CHILD (by John Gottman! Find it here) This one was so impactful for me that I wrote a whole blog post about it. It transformed a relationship with one of my kids - You can read it here. This book showed me how I was disciplining, dismissing or avoiding my kid's negative emotions and ways I could actually get closer to them and help coach them through these emotions and process them in healthier ways. -- read three books that changed my mothering right here ++ simple life ++ I told my life coaching client the same thing I needed to hear, “your future self has whatever you give her today”. She doesn’t have some magical wisdom or quick fix or grand inheritance that suddenly made life what you dreamed of. She has the hard work you put in now. Listen to how I approached this in motherhood with three small kids. ++ simple community ++ I will be hosting a photo a day challenge on Instagram for the month of MAY. Will you join me? Click here to view and get a copy of the photo prompts.

How to 'create space' when you are a mom with side hustle, decluttering kids' stuff, how to start family meetings, how to be more creative without it feeling like a chore. Welcome to a bonus Q+A episode of Simple Saturdays . I am sharing the As to some of your Qs. LIFE ON PURPOSE: My current dilemma is how do I fit it all in? I work 40+ hours a week, love on my three boys, try to get to the gym three times a week. I am up at 4:30 every morning to work on my side hustle and fall into bed every night. Where/how do I "create space"? Yes, I would be asking you the same question, where do you fit it all in? One thing that I am seeing is that you have a side hustle going. Which many people start as a way to eventually become a full-time job. If this is the case for you then it seems like this is a very intense season for you where you are trying to build up a business as well as still doing your day job. Side hustles actually suck when you have kids and a day job. It takes a lot of boundaries to protect these different areas of your life. There are a lot of people telling you to build up your side hustle but they don’t often tell you that the rest of your life can suffer from it if we don’t get really intentional about it. BUT when the side hustle is helping us build up the life we want to be living they are something that needs our time and attention. Think about the other really demanding seasons of your life (new job, school, new baby) and the areas of your life that you had to put on the back burner for a bit. When we have these really intense times, we do have to make sacrifices. So my advice to you is to firstly, become aware about what you are sacrificing and take ownership of that I know, it isn’t fun. But there is a saying: we can do anything but we can’t do everything. You are in a season where you have to make choices about where you will spend your time. And if you want to create more space, something else has to go. If your schedule is too much, you have to give yourself permission to make sacrifices. maybe you don’t go to the gym one morning, or you are making everyone frozen pizzas for a week, or you hire a babysitter to come over for a Saturday morning. But own it. During this time, stay present and own your decisions that are helping you build up the life you want. An approach you might want to take is from the book Pick Three by Randi Zuckerberg. She divides life into five categories: work, sleep, family, friends and fitness. She says, in a perfect world, we would all do every one of those things every day. But her book is the encouragement to pick three things to focus on each day and rotate them so your week has some of everything in it. There is no secret I can offer you to create space, because it really sounds like there is no space. There is no trick to it, it is just the number of hours in the day and how we fill them. We must choose, we must make choices. We must own those choices. Which brings me to my last point. Keep the end in mind. Get really clear about what you are doing and why it matters to you, and to the world. When we lose sight of our mission, we lose steam and we start getting restless. Keep your mission in the front of your mind. Get back to why this all matters to you and what the benefits of this hard season will be. SIMPLE HOME: How do I declutter kids’ stuff? I have so much to say here, but the major thing I have learned is to model it for them. They need to see us doing it and see the benefits. They need to see it is a way of managing stuff. It depends on their age if you do it for them or let them do it. About age 5 and under you can probably do it for them. When they get older you want to start giving them the responsibility to manage their own stuff. This is a skill they need to learn, with guidance and opportunities to practice. If you do it with them it will be like trainin...

Productivity and practical tips for moms, decluttering with kids, when goals and habits don't work ++ what do you think? ++ Before we jump in, I want to remind you guys about the Reader Feedback Survey. I want to thank the handful of you that have already done this - and remind the other (thousands) of you that I would relish in your feedback! (See what I did there, that is a mama-jedi-mind trick - but I know you guys are out there and I really value your input!) Your feedback helps me know how best to plan out my year ahead and show up with the content you need! Plus, it is always nice to hear some feedback. ++ recently decluttered ++ Continual decluttering is part of our life around here. We may not always purge a lot, but we do get rid of what isn’t needed, take an inventory of what is there and organize things (which means we put them back in their proper homes.) These past couple weeks I decluttered . . . My daughter’s room. Usually the kids clean their rooms on Saturdays. But her room felt like it needed extra help, which she always asks for. So helped her work through a mountain of stuff in her bedroom. I view it as practice for her to learn how to declutter. She wants to keep everything, but with practice she is able to let go of more things each time we do this. My bathroom ensuite Anyone who has a private ensuite off their bedroom knows that this is the inner sanctum. You don’t enter another woman’s ensuite unless you have been present while she gave birth or are on the same cycle. Cause what happens in an ensuite? Everything and nothing. It is where everything happens to get ready for the day and then it is forgotten about. Covered in a layer of hair products and q-tips. I understand I might be alone on having an ensuite I never get around to cleaning. But I did this week! And I added a tray to hold all the little lotions that I think will delay wrinkles (they don’t). It feels more put together with a simple tray here. And it keeps me from bringing more stuff onto the counter. It won’t fit in the tray. ++ simple home ++ Let’s talk about all the chores, errands, tasks that we moms want to get done in our day. . . . Now let’s talk about how it feels when we sit on our favourite dent in the couch and turn on the Food Network right after lunch. Yeah, getting stuff done is hard! BUT we know it is so important for us to feel like we have been productive. As moms we want to know we are effective at the job before us. We also know it is important to have the results of errands that are completed and home that feels clear and clean. I’ve tried tricks to getting stuff done: calendar alerts, detailed time table, mega to-do lists. They didn’t work for me, but these tips I’m sharing have worked for me. There are 15 practical tips I have in this new blog post . On the podcast I'm sharing my favourites and how it works with kids around. ++ simple life ++ Knowing your life vision is something I am so passionate about. If you watched the Values and Vision workshop, or have the Life on Purpose workbook - you know that the power in knowing your vision is that you have a destination, something you are working towards. So often we want to take some action in our life so set some goals and try to change habits, and they don’t work. We weren’t really invested in them, or we fizzle out, or we finish them and still feel unsatisfied about our life. We have been really productive, on the wrong things or in the wrong ways. Check out this recent post where I talk about how our productivity needs a purpose. AND IF YOU DO HAVE A LIFE ON PURPOSE WORKBOOK - make sure to sign up for the free email bonuses right here! ++ stay tuned ++ Here are a couple of fun things I’ve been working on: The Q&A podcast episode I asked you to send me your questions and I will start working through them. Stay tuned for a bonus podcast episode (on April 6th) where I will ...

Routine decluttering, get started with your life on purpose, styling an outfit, the enneagram workbook bonuses ++ recently decluttered ++ The initial decluttering of our house five years ago was sure dramatic. Now we are in the routine cleaning of places (decluttering, putting things back to their proper homes, recycling broken and useless stuff) It is important because it helps us maintain the hard work we put in. It also helps reacquaint ourselves with our things and take an inventory of what we do have. PHOTOS INCLUDED IN THE SIMPLE SATURDAYS EMAIL - to join in the email, subscribe at the bottom of this page. My medicine cabinet. There were expired ones and ones I didn’t really use that I am returning to the pharmacist for disposal. There were also things that didn’t belong in the cupboard (spices, candy stashes, etc.) My closet. I’m obviously not here to impress you with the most Pinterest-worthy closet. I store clothes to let go of in the closet (purging as I get dressed in the mornings), as well as all the laundry baskets and apparently a broken guitar…...So I needed to clear out the mess on the floor. The kitchen shelf. This shelf in the kitchen becomes this weird holding pen for random items (much like our bedroom dresser). It is so easy to spend 10 minutes here taking things away that don’t belong and putting them in their right home. ++ simple life ++ This past week I hosted my first online workshop called KNOWING YOUR VISION AND VALUES. This is based on the Life on Purpose workbook. It is, in my opinion, the first step in living your life on purpose. Life on Purpose is what I have been digging into for the past five years and I have found that SETTING GOALS will not be enough. If you want to really live your life on purpose, you need to start with your vision and values. Then you can set goals that have longevity and effectiveness and are naturally motivating. You can access the workshop replay right here: [convertkit form=1002085] IF YOU BOUGHT A LIFE ON PURPOSE WORKBOOK and you haven’t cracked it open yet - this workshop will help you put a pen to paper in that workbook. You can follow along the workshop using the workbook or the FREE WORKSHEETS provided to you. ++ simple style ++ Fashion was something that was daunting to me. Then when I had my second baby, I found myself spending a lot of midnight nursing session scrolling Pinterest. I was pinning cute outfits, reading fashion blogs, just enjoying the virtual experience. So, I started to get dressed each day. I started doing the I started to try new things and I found that I was enjoying it. Maybe at the time it felt like the one thing I could possibly control and enjoy in my rocky life. #moms30for30 (blog posts) (instagram hashtag) Style for the Reluctant Mom series Wearing Clothes vs Wearing an Outfit (read the post here) ++ simple heart ++ The Enneagram isn’t about personality, it is about the story we tell ourselves, and our motives, and how we navigate the world because of these two things. There are nine Enneagram types and knowing your type can give you so much insight into yourself - your stress habits and your strengths. I recommend EVERYONE learn their type! You can listen to the podcast or watch the video right here. ++ what would you like more of? ++ It has been a year since the last Reader Feedback Survey and they are so valuable to me. They help me understand what is helping you and what you need more of/less of. They help me direct my energy and time in planning out the year ahead and how I can best serve you! So please take a moment right now and fill out this (anonymous) survey. ++ do you have the life on purpose workbook? ++ Did you purchase a LIFE on PURPOSE orkbook? Click here to sign up for your free bonus goodies.

Over the years I have talked (and talked and talked) about the Enneagram. It has been a personal growth tool that has helped me make such positive changes in my own life! I love it so much that I also use it with my life coaching clients. I've been asked by different people to share some info on the basics to help people get started with learning their own Enneagram type. So I shared this video on Facebook and wanted to give it a place on my site where you could listen to it in podcast form, watch the video, or read through it. Whatever you prefer, it is a content smorgasbord! LISTEN TO THE PODCAST WATCH THE VIDEO READ THE POST Type 1 - The Reformer/Perfectionist Concerned with good wholesome, right and wrong. Motivated by the desire to ‘be good’, the need to live life ‘the right way’ At their best: Ethical, reliable, standards, self-controlled At their worst: Judgmental, dogmatic, critical They may not be a perfectionist in the traditional sense of lining up their environment, but struggle with this internal critic causing anxiety of things they 'should do' They are probably unaware that they push people away with judgements about what the world should look like and how they or others should behave. When they are healthy they move to the traits of a Type 7 (this is called the direction of integration). When they are stressed they move to the traits of a Type 4Healthy 7 (the direction of disintegration) We need 1s because they are our moral compass and remind us to maintain healthy standards in our lives Type 2 - The Helper Motivated by the need to be needed, need to feel they are lovable and valuable At their best: loving, generous, enthusiastic, warm, giving At their worst: martyr, over-accommodating, indirect A two may not realize that they are putting themselves in a service role to others as a way to feel valuable. They may not even realize that through all of their serving they are creating a relationship where they are needed and hoping to also be served in return. When they feel taken advantage of they can feel a lot of anger and resentment which shows up as martyrdom. Because they are so busy helping and supporting others, they often put themselves on the back burner. Healthy move towards type 4 Stress move towards type 8 We need 2s because they remind us that those around us are in need and we can serve them and show up for them in many different ways Type 3 - The Achiever/The Performer Motivated by the need to be successful, believe that their value lies in their achievements At their best: optimistic, practical, efficient, they get things done At their worst: narcissistic, workaholic, deceptive in times where their ability to succeed is at risk or to maintain their image A struggle the three will have is identifying who they are from what they do. They have difficulties getting in touch with their own thoughts and feelings - success comes at the expense of your feelings. In Stress move to type 9 In health move to type 6 We need 3s because they remind us that setting and accomplishing our goals is a rewarding and worthwhile thing Type Four – The Individualist/The Romantic/The Creative Motivated by the need to be themselves, to understand their feelings and be understood At their best: warm and heart-centred, introspective, they want to contribute something unique to the world, they are willing to deal with the hard stuff to find the deeper purpose At their worst: depressed, self-conscious, they find it hard to separate the feelings from the facts, because they are focussed on this higher meaning in life they can sometimes let them be a gap between themselves and others and can silo themselves Fours may not realize how they get wrapped up in themselves and their own thoughts. When healthy they move to type 1 When in stress they move to type 2 We need 4s because they can walk us through suf...

To get the bonus Simple Saturdays content, sign up for the email list below: [convertkit form=4990121] ++ simple heart ++ Over a year ago I realized that I had come to a place in my daily life where I constantly thought about getting a break for my kids. I was struck with this shameful realization that I stopped enjoying my kids and being a mother. This past year I had one goal in parenting, to focus on enjoying my kids. I shared my story with what that looked like and what I learned from it. It is a long post (read it here), so I can't cover it all in the podcast episode. Three big takeaways are 1/ We find what we are looking for. When all I looked for was a break, that was the problem my brain wanted to solve. I needed to give my brain a new problem to solve, one that empowered me. 2/ I am more fun than I thought. Through enjoying my kids, I am enjoying my life more because I am having more fun in my daily life 3/ This is a daily practice. I still struggle with and new problems come up that I need to work through, but I am practicing the only thing I can. The only thing I actually do have control over - how I show up. And to make changes in how I show up, it takes practice. ++ simple life ++ In light of this real talk about my struggles in mothering, one thing that shone through all that for me was that I wasn’t parenting in line with the values I had for myself as a mom. And this brings me to the importance of knowing your vision and your values. Not just in parenting but in all areas of your life. Your values are those core beliefs and ways of being in the world that you know are a part of your identity. When you don’t live in line with your values you feel frustration and a tension. You feel like there is something you SHOULD be doing but you can't quite get there. Your vision for your life is what you hope for and knowing it makes all the difference in making it happen. If you never stop to set a vision, you have never stopped to set a destination for your journey. You are probably just resorting to auto-pilot and living your life REACTIVELY instead of PROACTIVELY. It will be hard, maybe impossible, to live the life you crave - to live your life ON PURPOSE - if you never stop to identify your values and vision. This is something the Life on Purpose workbook walks you through in detail - but I want to give you a chance to learn more and get started in your own life. I’m holding a free online workshop on March 13th at 1:15pm (PST). The workshop will cover personal values, life vision (for the nine areas of your life) and limiting mindsets. You will be able to follow along in the Life on Purpose workbook, or with the worksheet I will be providing you. To RSVP for the workshop enter your info here. ++ simple food ++ I waffle a lot. For breakfast, for lunch, for dinner, for road trips. These are my fave gluten and dairy free ones: Quinoa flour waffles. Oatmeal Waffles. Thank you to Taco Katie for introducing me to my new favourite waffle recipe.

What I have learned about intentional living, why moms need office hours and how a mom's retreat can help, eating the same food every day - the Food Uniform - and a great dinner idea. ++ simple heart ++ What is intentional living? Simply put, it is living your life ON PURPOSE. I break it down like this: Knowing what is important to you (your values, your vision, your priorities) Making choices inline with what is important to you (how you spend your money, your time, your resources, how you use your space) And beyond knowing what you want and making choices in how you live, it also means making choices in how you show up. (the hard work) We started out with Intentional Parenting (it was hard) and it grew into Intentional Living (LIFE ON PURPOSE). I am sharing FIVE THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT INTENTIONAL LIVING I am not a victim of my life It doesn't come naturally It changes and grows It is a daily practice It is empowering Read the full blog post here ++ simple life ++ I propose that running a home is also like running a business. There is an 'admin' side to home management (the people, the supplies, the errands, the appointments, the bills, etc.) When do you have Mom Office Hours? Maybe a mom retreat is a great time for you to take care of the to-do list. Read more about my recent mom/work retreat and some tips for planning yours. ++ simple food ++ We have turned to using the 'Food Uniform' - the same thing every meal. Breakfast and Lunch are brainless for me because they are always the same. Dinner recently: yam, kale and sausage hash with THESE mega easy sourcream chocolate chip scones! Have a great weekend! Don't forget to subscribe (BELOW) to the email newsletter and get Simple Saturdays in your inbox every two weeks (with bonuses!)

Spaces I decluttered this week, tips to plan your day, plan a friend date, decluttering our bedroom to work towards our home vision DECLUTTERING In the email newsletter, I shared some pics of my decluttered sweater collection. Anytime you think you don't have enough of something - take an inventory (says the woman who thought she didn't have 'enough' sweaters). SIMPLE LIFE If you are an Enneagram Type 9, like me, you probably just planned along with whatever everyone else had planned. Then I had two small kids at home and found if I could plan my day it would make my life easier. Planning your day can help you feel more proactive and relaxed. Plan your day, change your life. And this is how we plan together when Conor has the week off work. A list of fun things to do with your kiddos. Enjoying your downtime without feeling like you are a lazy mom Tips to plan your day: Brain dump Putting goals into action (setting a weekly focus) Have running lists (meal planning book) SIMPLE HEART I feel that friendship is like a marriage, you fall in and out of love and you need to put the work in it to keep that love alive! My case for dating your friends. SIMPLE HOME What are things in your home that are a toleration? (blog post and worksheets here) We used the Life on Purpose workbook and set out some vision for our home. Our bedroom is a space we have a vision for and we can take steps to work towards that! In the email newsletter, you will see photos of the decluttered dresser. It can be very empowering to make progress towards the vision you have for a space. FACEBOOK Q+A I'd love to take this great conversation over to Facebook. Email me or message me on social media and let me know what questions you'd like to see addressed on Facebook and any stories you'd like to share.

++simple family++ It started with a pivotal NEW YEAR's Eve vision setting session. We started by asking ourselves what we want our kids to grow up to be, and what we wanted to do with our kids. Since then, we have been working on 'intentional parenting' or as I call it 'mom on purpose'. The day to day living out of your vision for your family will show itself in your Family Culture. That unique way you do life as a family. I've written about it here Build Up Your Family Culture and loved this article by Kindred Grace on Building a Home Your Kids Want to Come Home To ++ simple home ++ My thoughts on Tidying Up on Netflix, the reverence we have for our stuff, and how we approach decluttering. Marie Kondo's Book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (I'm sure I botched this title in the episode) Decluttering in waves Reasons why we can't let go of stuff ++ the currently list++ READING: North of Normal. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I am reading it as part of a Book Club with A Little Light. The Last Letter from Your Lover. LOVING: My electric pencil sharpener. WEARING: This outfit (but with boots not heels #obvi). I just want to formally thank all the fellow moms who don’t call me out for wearing what are basically Fancy Pajamas. DOING: Working through the Life on Purpose Workbook with Conor. So far we have set a vision for four areas of our life and have five left to go. We have had some really great conversations and have gotten on the same page about a lot of things. LISTENING TO: Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel. My bestie told me about this marriage therapist who has a podcast of her actual sessions. It is so interesting LEARNING: That playing Jenga with my kids really stresses me out. It is probably the Type 9 in me. My kids are actually here to PLAY the game and I am learning from them how to really do that. SIGN UP FOR THE EMAIL BELOW AND NEVER MISS A SIMPLE SATURDAY!

Are you feeling MEH about the New Year? The top strategy we found to help us prevent overspending. The top ten posts of 2018. An update on the Life on Purpose Workbook ++ simple life ++ Are you starting the New Year feeling totally MEH? There can be a lot of pressure to have your resolutions and goals all sorted before Jan 1st is over, but I want to remind you that you can start slow! If you are like me, and starting your New Year with a fizzle, I encourage you to take it slow, and I have a tip for you to prepare for when you are ready to put a plan into place for living your LIFE ON PURPOSE ++ simple finances ++ We have tried apps, mottos, strategies to be better at managing our money. Not that we are frivolous or reckless with our money, but the little things add up and we find ourselves regularly overspending. Two things that have helped us the most: 1. Tracking our spending, and 2. This approach from Fun Cheap or Free (her video is below). In the podcast, I tell you exactly why it works so well for us! ++ top ten of 2018 ++ I love to reflect on what guys read the most this past year. Here is the top ten post of the year! The top three were (3) How a Minimalist Thinks (2) Hygge vs Minimalism and (1) I Decluttered My Home For A Year, This Is What I Learned ++ the life on purpose workbook ++ Stay tuned to the email list (subscribe below) for sneak peeks and updates on when this bad boy will be available! It is jam-packed with a lot of big ideas to tackle and help you identify, organize and plan the life you want to live!

Did you know you can DIY microwave popcorn? The Finnish art of Sisu. My Pantry epiphany. ++ simple food ++ Did you know you can DIY microwave popcorn!? I saw it on Instagram stories and started searching Pinterest. Here is a pin to get you started. Also, check out my Easy Entertaining Pinterest Board ++ simple home ++ I shared photos in the email newsletter of the pantries we moved from the kitchen to the basement. What have I learned by reducing my kitchen pantry storage in half? (Subscribe to the newsletter below so you don't miss the special email content) ++ simple life ++ The Finnish Way by Katja Pantzar is about the people of Finland and the quality of sisu, a certain inner resilience and grit, that they have. This book has made me think about my daily life and inspired me to make some changes. ++ the life on purpose workbook ++ This planner will guide you through setting a life vision and putting it into action. It is a compilation of my own experience, my life coaching lessons, the Year on Purpose booklet, and the Whole Life Vision exercise I do with my clients. This book is being formatted and designed as we speak and should be available in January!

How to move towards a more minimalist Christmas, a great resource for time management advice and decluttering to prepare for Christmas simple family I was recently interviewed for info on having a minimalist Christmas with my fave station: the CBC. Click here to listen, go to 1 hour and 49 minutes. I have so much more to say on what is a minimalist Christmas and you can get started. You can read the full blog post about a minimalist Christmas right here [What is a Minimalist Christmas and how to get started] >> GET THE SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER

I used to be a stress ball hostess, now I have an open door policy. Here are myths I had to bust through about being a 'good hostess'. Links in this episode: Simple Advent Activities for Toddlers (older kids like them too) 42 Ways to Spread the Love This Christmas (random acts of kindness and ways to love on others this season) Myths I Had to Bust About Being A 'Good Hostess' Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist The Simple Christmas Series >> GET YOUR SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER

Why family traditions are important and ideas on simple ones to try. How to shop your closet to get dressed for that holiday party! Welcome to Part 3 of the podcast series on A Simple Christmas. Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here. All the Simple Christmas posts can be found here. In this podcast I'm sharing a bit from these two posts: Why and how to make unique Christmas traditions for your family How to shop your closet for great holiday outfits Other links mentioned in this episode Moving from frump to fashion Know your colours Take photos of your outfits Rule of three for putting outfits together GET THE SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER Make sure to subscribe to Simple Saturdays (below) to stay up to date and get all the insider content for the Simple Saturdays podcast!

Hello Simple Saturday Friends! Welcome to another bi-weekly email and podcast where I share some ideas and updates to encourage you to declutter your life, your home and your mind. Since the last email, there have been a couple bonus episodes on the podcast. I’m unpacking my Simple Christmas series for you there. Check out Episode 5 on how to mentally prepare to have a simpler and enjoyable Christmas. Also, Episode 6 is on simplifying the gift giving and giving thoughtful gifts. --> Make sure to subscribe to the podcast to get those bonus episodes. ++ simple home ++ I'm sharing something I recently decluttered. I had to have a real talk with myself on why I was holding onto it and never making use of it. I had to have a real talk with myself about letting go this 'identity' I wanted to have by owning this item. I need to USE it to have the identity. And it is hard, it is hard to get real with yourself. But it is also freeing. It frees up physical space and it frees up the mental burden that you ‘still haven’t done that craft’ ‘still haven’t worn that dress’ ‘still haven't found a spot for that art you don’t really love’. So, if you are sitting quietly having a real lady chat with yourself, what is something you have been holding on to but never use/wear/do? What are you ready to let go of? Email me and let me know! ++ simple heart ++ I laid out some heavy stuff on the blog this week. . . . getting comfortable with discomfort. I’ve been spending the past year leaning into this and it has been life changing. The biggest change is how it lets me show up as a parent. Because parenting is one of the most frustrating and overwhelming roles I’ve ever been in. And it is every day. And I wasn’t coping well. Read the post here [Getting Comfortable with Discomfort] If you are interested in life coaching on this, stop by here and click apply. ++ simple family ++ We brought team meetings/family meetings into our life over a year ago. I'm sharing how we run them and what the outcomes have been. (Read more here)

Tips to simplify the gift-giving and ways to give more thoughtful gifts Today I'm sharing two posts on gift giving: Simplify the gift giving (make sure to read the post as I don't cover all the tips in the podcast) Gift giving is such a focal point of the holidays but it doesn't have to overwhelm us. We don't have to buy for everyone and we don't have to stick to convention. Nine Ways to Make Your Gifts More Thoughtful I KNOW that Jesus is the reason for the season, but it is also a chance for us to spoil and love on our people. I've had some gifts in my life that made me feel like my family or friends really had no clue about me. It stings, and it has pushed me away from making gifts a 'thing'. Then I have had some very amazing gifts that were spot on. They made me reclaim that gifts can be an amazing thing we share at the holidays. I love gifts, they make me feel seen. It can be quite powerful to give something meaningful to someone that fills a gap in their life or lets them know you know them well. Also mentioned: How to Bullet Journal GET YOUR SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER

a simple Christmas series part 1: finding your simple Christmas and 5 tips to help you make it simpler Welcome to a special episode of Simple Saturdays, part 1 in the Simple Christmas series A Simple Christmas is a series I have had on the blog for a few years and I wanted to offer it in podcast form as well. It is about a dozen posts all about ways to make your Christmas more simple, from the practical to the mental preparations. In this episode I share: Finding Your Simple Christmas - writing these two lists, paying attention to what they tell you and building it into a personal Christmas motto 5 Tips to Make Christmas Simpler - tips to make any event more simple in terms of mentally preparing for what you want to happen, how to show up and how to just enjoy the Christmas that IS instead of stressing over the Christmas ideals that aren't happening. GET YOUR SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER HERE -- Make sure to subscribe to Simple Saturdays below!

We declutter our kids' toys a few times a year, getting prepped to have a Simple Christmas, easy ham sliders for a crowd and a reminder that you are enough, you have enough, you do enough! Welcome to another bi-weekly Simple Saturday, an email newsletter also available in podcast form. Be sure to subscribe to the newsletter (at the end of this post) so you can get Simple Saturday, full notes and photos in your inbox! ++ links++ Optimal Living Daily Relationships Episode 394 " I Stopped Calling Myself a Lazy Mom" See all Optimal Living Daily Episodes ++ simple home ++ In the emails, I like to share with you what we are working on decluttering (because you know it is an ongoing process!). This past week we decluttered our kids' toys. What are strategy was for decluttering, and why we prefer to declutter their toys without them. [Why We Declutter Our Kids' Toys Without Them] ++ simple life ++ I have started Christmas shopping, I'm not an over-achiever, I just want my future self to have a more peaceful and organized entrance into the season. The Simple Christmas series has been around for a couple years and this year I will also release some of the top posts in podcast form. Look out for those bonus episodes coming shortly! ++ simple food ++ There is a simple dish that I have made for a crowd and now include it in our family meals. Also, can anyone really say Worcestershire sauce? Sometimes I am just better in the written form, please have mercy on my word-fails. Ham Sliders Pizza Sliders Zucchini Sliders >> GET THE SIMPLE CHRISTMAS PLANNER

Declutter your mind and time with a brain dump, keep track of all the seasonal kid's clothes and handmedowns, change your habits using minimum baseline. Welcome to another Simple Saturday! This is a bi-weekly email newsletter that has been running for 2 years! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY FRIENDS!! Thank you for being along with me on this journey and giving me a space in your inbox! In this Simple Saturday we are talking about: ++ simple life ++ If you’ve been around Simple Saturdays for a while you know that I will often recommend doing a brain dump. A brain dump is a list of all the stuff in your brain. It helps you to get all those thoughts and tasks swirling in your mind out onto paper. Then you can use this list to set yourself some priorities for the day. Check out the post here for how I use Brain Dumps and how they help you do life better ++ simple family ++ If you have kids you know that there are parts of your home designated as holding pens for stuff coming and going. I thought I was solving this problem by labelling the bags and bins in the closet, but then I would never go in there and check. Mostly because all the bins and bags are in a huge pile that has to be all pulled out to get to the bottom (yes, we need shelves in there!). So, I realized I needed a better way to track what is in there. I can’t believe it took me over 7 years to figure this out. Keeping track of the inventory in my notes app! Check out my solution here ++ simple wellness ++ You guys know I’m a big habit nerd. I think habits are what change your life more than anything (for good or for bad). [This Simple Hack Will Help You Change Your Habits] A couple of years back I decided to challenge myself to change some habits. I called it #onesmallhabit and made the habits so simple that they wouldn’t take a lot of energy or thought to do them. I share with you a couple of the habits I worked on shifting. As I continually look for ways to shift to healthier habits I am finding success with something called MINIMUM BASELINE. I think I was missing this when I tried the #onesmallhabit. Because this is even simpler than that - it is the bare minimum. It is so dang low impact that you can’t NOT do it when you are challenged with it. How I used minimum baseline Here’s an example from my life: I wanted to start getting the dishes tackled twice a day but I had a lot of more fun things to do instead. So I set a minimum baseline for myself: one dish. I can do one dish. I would put a cup away. Then I would laugh at myself and put another dish away. Then I would do the dishes. As I went through this process I was learning that I had some limiting mindsets that actually stopped me from getting my dishes done (that’s a whole other post!). Starting with this minimum baseline helped me to capture these thoughts that I subconsciously had that were keeping me from doing this simple daily chore. Now I do the dishes twice a day, for the most part. If I don’t feel like it then I challenge myself with a minimum baseline. How you can start with minimum baseline The minimum baseline can apply to anything you want to bring into your life. Want to eat more vegetables? Eat 1 carrot stick. Want to try exercise at home? Do one push up. One. Want to declutter your closet? Get rid of one thing. Want to read more books? Pick up any book in your house and read one page. And if you are like me and are learning you have a lot of negative thought patterns in this process, then check out my life coaching, I can help you get unstuck! ++ blog posts ++ Shut Up and Dance With Me - a story about meeting my husband and dancing and singing with him - and how this atmosphere has grown in our family How a Minimalist Thinks - if you think it is just a physical decluttering then you might miss out on the mindsets that make minimalism come naturally

In this Simple Saturday we are talking about: SIMPLE HOME decluttering the kitchen to make space for a planning station SIMPLE FOOD how to make a DIY meal planning book that will save you effort planning what to eat for the week SIMPLE STYLE a fabulous episode from Sorta Awesome about setting up your capsule wardrobe THE CURRENTLY LIST heated socks (by Flambeau) By the Book podcast, decluttering old clothes, and Daughter of Fortune Simple Saturdays is a bi-weekly email newsletter full of tips, insights, and encouragement to help you declutter and live your life on purpose. The podcast is another way to get your dose of Simple Saturday. Subscribe for Simple Saturdays below to make sure you don't miss it and get all the links discussed.

Simple Saturdays is a bi-weekly email newsletter that many of you lovely readers subscribe to. It is full of little tips, encouragement and insights into making minimalism and purposeful living work for you. Now I am offering the Simple Saturday newsletter in podcast form as well because I'm nerdy like that. In this first episode, I share with you how I got started blogging, my journey into minimalism, how it brought me to 'life on purpose' and what that looks like on a daily basis for me. Things mentioned in this episode: My C-Section story The Joy of Less by Francine Jay Growing up with clutter Things that hold us back from letting go of our stuff On realizing how complacent I've been, living on auto-pilot Tricking my husband into a vision setting session The email with the values worksheet If you want to stick around the podcast, I suggest you subscribe to the podcast (so the podcast player knows I exist for people) Simple Saturdays newsletter below so you don't miss any episodes and keep all the show links handy