What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

How does our cultural upbringing influence the way we parent? Ed Center, founder of Village Well Parenting, discusses how culturally grounded positive parenting can bring connection, joy, and healing to both kid-raisers and educators. Ed has spent his career supporting low-income, underrepresented youth and adults by helping them gain access to the resources necessary to thrive. He started The Village Well to bring more connection, joy, and healing to families of color. In this interview, Amy and Ed discuss: -The lack of attention to diverse cultures and traditions in traditional parenting courses and literature -How generational wisdom can sometimes come from the same source as generational trauma -How to stay calm when your children are not Here's where you can find Ed: -https://www.villagewellparenting.com -IG: @villagewellparenting -FB: @thevillagewell -TikTok: @queerbrowndad -Sign up for First Fridays with Ed on this page We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. The average "default parent" makes a lot more than that. No wonder we suffer from decision fatigue. The more decisions we have to make, the more fatigue we develop, and the more difficult it can become to function. So how can we combat the frustration, apathy, and resentment that result from having to make all the decisions in the family? In this episode we discuss: -how decision fatigue manifests—and how it differs from burnout -the best time of day to make hard decisions -why "going with the flow" is not actually a thing Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: -Sara Berg for the American Medical Association: "What doctors wish patients knew about decision fatigue" -Michelle Adelman for HowStuffWorks: "When's the Best Time of Day to Make a Decision?" -Lauren Barth for The Bump: "Why the Decision-Fatigue Struggle Is (Still) Real for Parents" -Frank Graff for PBS North Carolina: "How Many Decisions Do We Make In One Day?" -Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco for The Washington Post: "For parents, everything feels like a high-stakes decision now. Here’s how to lower the anxiety." -Ashley Stahl for Forbes: "How Burnout Affects Your Decision-Making Process—And How To Fix It" -Eva M. Krockow for Psychology Today: "How Many Decisions Do We Make Each Day?" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting our interview with Susan Katz Miller, author of THE INTERFAITH FAMILY JOURNAL. The holidays are always intense, and if your family is an intersection of multiple traditions, it can really ratchet up the pressure for perfection times two. Which is when it’s time to maintain perspective. As Susan explains: “I try to help people to understand that if they're having conflict often, it's not about religious difference. It's not about theology. It's not about whether there was an actual physical resurrection or not. It's usually about whether to put the fried onions on the green bean casserole or not.” In this episode we discuss -why every family is an interfaith family -how to reduce conflict about traditions with your spouse’s extended family -how to help your spouse when the hard feelings are on your family’s side -how to push back on the pressure to do “both” traditions perfectly -how to help your kids navigate being of a different faith than most people in your community -how to handle it when you’re observant but your spouse is not (or vice versa) -the resentment that can occur when the mom in a family is expected to carry the weight of passing on a religious tradition that's not even hers It’s worth it to have the conversations, do the work, and delineate a “sacred circle” that works for your immediate family. As Susan explains, when you and your spouse come from different traditions, “you’re going to be doing the work anyhow.” But challenging your own mindset and context is also an incredible opportunity for growth– even if the way your spouse’s family opens their holiday gifts is completely and totally wrong. Here are links to some other writing on the topic we discuss in this episode: -Pew Research Center: Why America’s ‘nones’ don’t identify with a religion -Stina Kielsmeier-Cook: Blessed Are the Nones: Mixed-Faith Marriage and My Search for Spiritual Community: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780830848270 -Buy THE INTERFAITH FAMILY JOURNAL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781558968257 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to be "touched out" as a mom? And once we know it's a thing—as anyone who's experienced it firsthand can attest—is there anything we can actually do about it? Amanda Montei, author of the popular Substack Mad Woman and the new book TOUCHED OUT, has studied the phenomenon of "maternal touch aversion" in both the literal and metaphorical senses. In this interview, Amanda, Margaret, and Amy discuss: -what being "touched out" really means—and why guilt and shame often accompanies it -the "very not normal" conditions of today's American parenting -how can we can begin to claim the space we want for our own selves, and model that for our children Here's where you can find Amanda: -https://www.amandamontei.com/ -Mad Woman Substack: https://amandamontei.substack.com/ -@amontei on IG -@amanda.montei on Facebook -Buy TOUCHED OUT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780807013274 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all have things we dread about the holiday season, whether we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or a combination of the above. In this episode we are here to list all the "fresh hells" of this time of year, like: the terrors of Santa's lap the people who are impossible to buy for the grandparents who take all of our best gift ideas the approaching storm system as you check in for your flight to Nana's We do love the holidays, though. Really, we do. Remind us of that. This episode was inspired by this discussion on our Facebook page: What do you dread most about the holiday season? Join the fun: https://facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting "The Most Everything Time of the Year" and how the intensity really ratches up as soon as Thanksgiving is behind us. Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office holiday party? It’s the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do. In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it’s okay to dial back if you’re really not feeling the holiday spirit. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research: Holiday Stress Harvard Medical School: A holiday advisory for your emotions Cedars-Sinai Hospital: Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can we set reasonable limits for our kids without negotiating every single time they're tested? Erica Ladd and Kelsey Wharton, co-hosts of "The Girl Next Door Podcast," discuss tips for setting boundaries—and not just at the holidays, but all year round. Margaret, Kelsey, and Erica discuss: Why holidays are so boundary-crushing Everyday actions you can take to practice setting boundaries Why boundaries are not just for handling "crazymakers" Here's where you can find Kelsey and Erica: https://www.girlnextdoorpodcast.com/ @higirlsnextdoor on Instagram Listen to the GND episode "Ten Things We're NOT Doing This Christmas" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you and your spouse slipped into "angry partners at the 24/7 daycare" mode since your baby was born? Here's why relationships change after kids, and some real solutions that can help us get through it. Amy and Margaret discuss: The number-one reason relationships change after a baby is born Helpful perspectives for maintaining sanity during early parenthood Small steps for building back connection with your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jessica Grose for the NYT: Fighting Constantly after Baby? Read This Doss BD, et al. The Effect of the Transition to Parenthood on Relationship Quality: An Eight-Year Prospective Study. Alex Vance for Verywell Family: 4 Ways To Focus On Your Relationship When the Kids Keep You Busy Jessica Grose for the NYT: Bickering More After Kids? Learn how to avoid the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse. Christina Caron for the NYT: How to Reconnect with Your Partner After Kids Judd Apatow: "Who Slept Worse?" Check out all of the amazing shows in the Adalyst Media podcast network! If you love What Fresh Hell, you'll love our network of sister podcasts. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This one is about the "holiday creep" which, if you're reading this, has already begun... "Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks, or experiences that are nothing but drudge for everyone! Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Anne Helen Petersen, "A Theory of Sprawling Holidays" Mollie Wilson O'Reilly, "Waiting By the Jesse Tree" Eleanor Lees for Newsweek: "Why Does the Christmas Countdown Get Earlier Every Year?" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can we do when life seems to be falling down around our ears? Nicole Walters, author of the new book NOTHING IS MISSING: A MEMOIR OF LIVING BOLDLY, explains how to create our own fresh starts‒ and the joy that accompanies them. Nicole Walters is the host of "The Nicole Walters Podcast", a motivational speaker, and the mother of three adopted daughters. Nicole, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to pour into your community with gentleness, grace and honesty How "fresh starts" can help you take control of your life Why vulnerability is essential to connection Here's where you can find Nicole: https://nicolewalters.com @nicolewalters (IG) @MonetizeThyself (FB) Listen to the Nicole Walters podcast Buy NOTHING IS MISSING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668000953 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting this episode from 2021. When a parent first hears about highly sensitive kids– or their opposite, sensory seekers– it can provide a profound moment of recognition, of connecting the dots for things about our kids that up until now have baffled us. We think understanding these sensory tendencies can help us parent our kids more effectively and compassionately. Not every kid who shows hyper- or hypo-sensitivity will go on to require occupational therapy, struggle in school, or anything else. But as childmind.org explains, ""These problems can be tough on kids, and get in the way of them functioning effectively, learning, and making friends." Every kid who displays these behaviors and preferences can benefit from a parent who understands and can therefore effectively support and address for the otherwise confusing behaviors that might ensue. We don't have to accommodate every dictate of an extremely picky eater, or messy playroom caused by a sensory seeker– but it's worth exploring, because it can really help us as parents to understand where these things might be coming from. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: This image from Miracle Maker Mom Michael Rosenthal, PhD for the Child Mind Institute: Sensory Processing FAQ Amanda Morin for understood.org: Sensory seeking and sensory avoiding: What you need to know We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for "What Fresh Hell + " to get every one of our episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps: $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. There are some things in life that sound more fun in the planning stage than they are in the execution, and those things are statistically proven to be done more frequently by parents. We asked our listeners to tell us their lists of things that should be fun, but aren't. As the record will show, our listeners are sadly, completely correct. Don't say you weren't warned. Here's the link to the episode of The Mom Hour episode a few of our listeners mentioned: We Hate Fun! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can we do to foster relationships between our kids and their grandparents? A listener in our Facebook group asked: "A question for those of you sandwiched between kiddos and elders in your home. How do you encourage interaction between the two ends of the spectrum? Our elder is old-school and equates time with our kiddo as a time to treat them with food and gifts. How do you support this relationship?" It's important to realize that in any interaction that you are trying to foster, that you don't have a tremendous amount of control, Margaret says. That being said, you can lay out guidelines and be very clear that, for example, "we only eat between these hours and this hour, and this is how we approach this kind of food. And so please limit the amount of treats you give my kid to one a day." You can go over this boundary with your kid as well. If your child has overlapping interests with any of their grandparents, that's a great place to start. You can also direct your child to talk to their grandparents if they express curiosity about a topic or time period they're familiar with. It can also go the other way, in that you can suggest a grandparent play a game or engage in an activity that your child is passionate about. Ultimately, you are a facilitator, not a controller, and you can't dictate the relationship between your child and their grandparents, but you can keep offering up opportunities for connection. Here's the article Margaret references in the episode: Susan Adcox for VeryWell Family: 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if leadership wasn't about being in charge, but about serving others? Mother Gopi Gita, is the founder of Leadership Parenting and Vice Principal at TKG Academy, an independent private school in Dallas, Texas. She's also the author of LEADERSHIP PARENTING, in which she defines leadership as "serving others with collaborative decision-making." That goes for parents and kids both! In this interview, Mother Gopi and Amy discuss: The three guiding principles for leadership parenting How to know when our child's "connection needs" are being met How to turn defiance into loving conversation Here's where you can find Mother Gopi: www.gopigita.com @leadershipparenting on IG Buy LEADERSHIP PARENTING: https://gopigita.com/new-book We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode from 2022, "When the World Moves Too Fast for Our Kids." When we look at our kids– and think of the responsibilities we had and risks we took at their ages– a lot of us think our kids are growing up more slowly. This is definitely not always a bad thing. But when our kid is playing Pokémon and their peers have moved on to Snapchat, should we be encouraging them to blossom? Or letting them stay young a little longer? Amy and Margaret discuss: why it's good to have "young" kids when to rescue, and when to leave them alone how to make our own homes safe havens for our kids to be exactly who they are Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Camille Noe Pagán for WebMD: "Is It Immaturity or ADHD?" Alloprof Parents: "5 ways to support an immature first grader" PsychCentral: "The Effects of Trauma from Growing up Too Fast" Amy Norton for CBS News: "Why today's teens are growing up more slowly than they used to" Katie Bishop for BBC: "Kids getting older younger: Are children growing up too fast?" Steven Richfield for HealthyPlace: "Coaching The Emotionally Immature Middle Schooler" Julie Rawe for Understood: "Why some kids seem immature compared to other kids their age" Dr. Tori Cordiano for Your Teen Magazine: "My Daughter Is Immature and She’s Annoying Her Friends" Jessica Lahey for Your Teen Magazine: "Understanding Changing Middle School Friendships" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. Makes sense, but is it the number-one secret to our kids' future happiness and success? Is fixed mindset a death knell for our children's potential? Amy and Margaret discuss: The current controversy in academia about whether "growth mindset" has been over-emphasized Why it's important to praise our kids' efforts, more than those efforts' outcomes How to foster growth mindset in our kids (hint: it's by example) Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Melinda Wenner Moyer: Is Growth Mindset a Sham? Melinda Wenner Moyer: The Nitty Gritty of Growth Mindset Carol S. Dweck: Mindset Dweck, Carol et al: Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance Macnamara, B. N., & Burgoyne, A. P: Do growth mindset interventions impact students’ academic achievement? A systematic review and meta-analysis with recommendations for best practices. Burnette, J. L., et al: A systematic review and meta-analysis of growth mindset interventions: For whom, how, and why might such interventions work? See Eva DeVirgilis's one-woman show, "In My Chair" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is fifth grade way more complicated than it used to be? A listener wrote in to ask: "Is it just me or is 5th grade rough? Is it just my 5th grader and his classmates, or are others experiencing this too? Weird friend drama, lots of emotions, being teased (but in a friendly way?)... It’s a lot. Please tell me I’m not alone!" The average 5th grader is in the 10- to 11-year-old range, and as Vanessa Kroll Bennett and Dr. Cara Natterson recently explained to us, that's become a reasonable age for puberty to begin. (Listen to our Fresh Take with them here.) So it's no wonder that some of them are feeling big emotions, or having sudden drama with the same friends they've had since kindergarten. Even though we may want to Mama Bear the situation and fix everything that's wrong, it's developmentally appropriate for kids of this age to experience discomfort of a social, mental, and yes, physical, nature. The best thing you can do is make your home a safe space for whatever emotions your child is feeling about all of this upheaval. If it seems like they're handling it, you can take a back seat. If they're really asking for your help, that's your cue to get more involved. But if you're not hearing as much as you used to about school and friends from your kid, remember that that's also normal for this age and stage. Here are two more of our Fresh Takes you may find helpful on this topic: Dr. Lisa Damour on Helping Kids Manage Anxiety Judith Warner on What Grownups Get Wrong About Middle School Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we talk to our kids about all the complicated topics our world presents them with? Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development specialist, is the author of the bestselling book How to Talk to Kids About Anything and host of the podcast How to Talk to Kids About Anything, gives us scripts for having hard conversations with our kids. In this interview Dr. Silverman, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The downside to parents not talking to kids about hard things The biggest mistakes parents make when talking to kids Why tough conversations are worthwhile for reasons that go far beyond what might be discussed Here's where you can find Dr. Silverman: DrRobynSilverman.com @DrRobynSilverman on socials Buy HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT ANYTHING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781728246987 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode of that name from 2021 Sooner or later, most parents discover that their kid doesn't fit society's mold in one way or another. But there's "quirky" kids with unusual haircuts, and then there's the kids who really do their own thing, with or without peer approval. In this episode, we're talking about the latter. Those parents will recognize what Dr. Perri Klass calls "the pivotal moment": "not just one moment of extreme behavior in your kid, but the last in a series of impossible-to-explain-away behavior that resonates with the parent's long-considered and long-avoided fears. It crystallizes in a parent's mind all the floating anxieties and worries of many months." It’s especially challenging for us when our kids are outside the norm because we can't help but think what will become of this kid? But at those times, we're forgetting two things: not only do our children have the ability to grow and develop, we're going to become better parents along the way, as well. When it comes to our non-mold-fitting kids, there's reason to hope that the world will someday be wide enough. Albert Einstein didn’t fit the mold either, and things worked out pretty well for him. Which isn't to say he didn't cause his mom some sleepless nights along the way. Here are some links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Drs. Perri Klass and Eileen Costello: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn’t Fit In greatschools.org: How to support your unique, quirky child childmind.org: Sensory Processing FAQs slate.com: What About Kids Who Don't Fit The Mold? Dana Basu: How to Cope When Your Child is Different Andrew Solomon: Far From The Tree: Parents, Children, And The Search For Identity We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re on YouTube Music! Watch and listen at this link: What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood We've all had times when our kids resist every. single. thing. you tell them to do. When is it part of a larger problem, and even if it's not, how do we manage the exhausting defiance? Amy and Margaret discuss: How to keep track of a kid's defiance in order to figure out where it's coming from Gut-check questions to ask yourself to ascertain where ODD might be what's happening the "two free requests" approach Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Katherine Lee for VeryWell Family: Effective Ways to Handle Defiant Children Royce Flippin for Additude: Why Is My Child So Angry and Defiant? An Overview of Oppositional Defiant Disorder Dr. Douglas Riley: The Defiant Child: A Parent’s Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder Mount Sinai Parenting Center: Positive Opposites We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Moms of little kids are touched all day, every day. So what happens when it's supposedly our spouse's turn at the end of the day, but we're just not in the mood for cuddling? This week a listener asks: "I’ve been really wanting my own space lately. I have two preschoolers and I’m nursing a baby. Basically, I’m touched out. I feel terribly bad because yesterday when I got everyone down for a nap, my husband (who is working from home) asked if he could snuggle with me. I said sure, but then asked him to leave so that I could rest. He caught me red-handed scrolling on my phone a couple of minutes later, and I had to admit I just didn’t want to snuggle. I really hurt his feelings. What can I say? Feeling really guilty… but I just want my own space! Is there a nice way to handle it when you don’t want to be touched?" The problem here isn't the snuggles, it's the communication. It's 100% reasonable to feel all touched out but also understandable for your spouse to feel hurt when he is cuddle-rejected. Having a conversation around both of your expectations while working from your maximum point of generosity will solve this problem in no time. The Parents.com article Margaret references in this article can be found HERE. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it that we can find ourselves in a marriage with someone we thought we knew but with whom we can't effectively communicate? Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of I Didn’t Sign Up For This, talks us through breaking negative cycles in our relationships. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and voice behind @drtracyd. Dr. Dalgleish and Margaret discuss: Why dating doesn't prepare us for marriage The most common problems couples have, and what's really underneath those issues The best way to approach difficult conversations with our partners Here's where you can find Dr. Dalgleish: https://www.drtracyd.com/ @drtracyd on IG / FB @pesipublishing on IG Buy I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683736622 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode on meeting our kids where they are. It's hard not to be a little nervous when your kid is the only one still crying at preschool drop-off. Or the only one still spelling everything wrong in third grade. Sometimes it turns out to be a late bloomer situation, nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's an early indicator of something your kid might struggle with for a long time. How do we move beyond our own stress about what our kids are and aren't doing like the rest of the bunch? How do we adjust our demands to meet what our kids are actually capable of? How do we set our parental expectations so that our kids will be motivated to try harder without feeling bad about themselves? It's a tricky balance, best summed up by parent coach Sarah Wayland: "If we never had expectations that were beyond our children’s current abilities, we wouldn’t teach them anything.... But I’m at my absolute worst as a parent when my expectations are far beyond my kids’ abilities." Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Joanna Faber: Manage Your Expectations, Not Your Child Terri Mauro for Very Well Family: Backward Chaining for Special-Needs Children Dr. Sarah C. Wayland for Guiding Exceptional Parents: Meet Your Kids Where They Are Elaine Taylor-Klaus for Impact ADHD: Shift Your Expectations to Manage Complex Kids Listen to "When Typical Parenting Advice Just Doesn't Fit" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you grow up thinking everyone's family has a tooth fairy that leaves tin foil behind instead of coins? Said "padiddle" whenever a car with a single headlight drove past? We asked our listeners what they grew up thinking everyone else's families did too... only to find out that nope, it was just them. Here's the link for "Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World" See the original Facebook thread here We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we handle a life-changing diagnosis for our child without falling apart? A concerned mother asked for support in our Facebook group: "My sweet seven-year-old son just got two very life-altering diagnoses. I hate that he's going to have pain and struggle in his life. That some options for his life are off the table because of his diagnoses. He's just starting his life and already has so much stacked against him. My brain won't stop thinking; my fingers won't stop reaching for more information. How do you cope with this as a mother?" Amy tells this parent that she's right: this is a lot to handle, and she's not wrong to think so. Parents dealing with chronically ill children need to give themselves permission to feel all their feelings. Taking time for themselves is an important part of staying mentally healthy for the long haul. Real-life support is also crucial—and that can also include emails, phone calls, and online chats with parents you may never have met, but who are dealing with similar struggles. You don't have to pretend things are better or easier than they are when you are talking to fellow travelers who know just what you're going through. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can we empower kids to recognize and manage difficult feelings, especially when those skills may be new to us too? Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, shows us how to foster emotional intelligence in our kids. Alyssa is the CEO of Seed & Sew, which supports teachers and families with tools for regulation, connection, and emotional intelligence. Alyssa is also the host of the podcast “Voices of Your Village.” Alyssa, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The main difference between parenting today and how most of us were parented The five components of emotional intelligence Collaborative Emotional Processing, Alyssa's framework for building long-term emotional intelligence in kids Here's where you can find Alyssa: https://www.seedandsew.org @seed.and.sew on IG Buy TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063306264 Listen to the "Voices of Your Village" podcast - a new addition to the Adalyst Media network! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Information overload” is defined as the tipping point when the input of information exceeds an individual’s capacity to process it all. When we begin to feel overwhelmed and stressed by the amount of information that is available, we can end up feeling more stressed and overwhelmed than knowledgeable. For parents, the urge to find certainty through online research—only to end up feeling even less certain—is particularly common. How can we make the constant availability of information, useful and otherwise, work for us rather than against? Amy and Margaret discuss: How "information overload" can reduce decision-making abilities Whether obsessive internet searching is the result, or cause, of low self-confidence in parents How to know your limits, and then set them Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Terese Glatz and Melissa A. Lippold. “Is more information always better? Associations among parents’ online information searching, information overload, and self-efficacy.” International Journal of Behavioral Development. Jessica Runberg for The Washington Post: Is crowdsourced parenting eroding confidence? Cara Goodwin for Psychology Today: New Study: Information Overload for Parents We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when we disagree with our parenting partners about bedtime routines for our little ones? Here's how to get on the same side of the net against this issue. A listener writes: "My husband and I disagree about how to handle bedtime for our 5-year-old. It’s been a struggle to get her to sleep before 11 pm. My husband wants to tell her "you need to be in bed now" when it’s 9 pm or 9:30. This kicks off a huge temper tantrum and sets bedtime back even further. I say, just let her play until she’s tired. Any advice on how to handle different approaches to bedtime routines?" Kids of preschool age need about 10-13 hours of sleep (including naps), so if a 5-year-old is going to bed at 11 p.m., they may not be getting enough rest. On the other hand, changing up a young child's bedtime routine can result in an "extinction burst," or a pushback against this new and unexpected boundary. Know ahead of time that it may take about two weeks of hard work to successfully establish a new bedtime with your child that works for everyone. As far as discussing it with your parenting partner, remember to get on the same side of the net against the problem. The issue is a bedtime routine that has become stressful for everyone, including your 5-year-old. Here's the link to the article Margaret mentions in the episode: Mayo Clinic: "Child sleep: Put preschool bedtime problems to rest" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These days, early is normal for puberty onset—and early is REALLY early. That means kids whose brains might not match the way they look, and parents who are freaking out about how to bring these delicate matters up in conversation. Help is here! Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, co-hosts of The Puberty Podcast and co-authors of the new book This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, offer clear explanations (for parents and kids both!) and ways to start talking. Margaret, Amy, Vanessa, and Cara discuss: How puberty has changed in the past few decades Why we should treat kids as the age they are, not the age they appear Why "the talk" isn't a one-and-done conversation Here's where you can find Vanessa and Cara: https://orderofmagnitude.co/ IG and TikTok: @spillingthepubertea Buy This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593580950 Listen to The Puberty Podcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether it's the dreaded email sent to the wrong person or greetings gone wrong, we've all got moments we can't stop playing in our heads over and over. Here are some of our cringiest moments. Amy and Margaret discuss: Grammar school cringe High school cringe Dating cringe We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can we support our kids' self-esteem when they take their frustrations out on themselves? Amy offers some tips for helping kids express frustration without getting down on themselves in the process. Keara asks: "My 4-year-old daughter is in preschool and just moved into a new classroom. Since then she’s been saying some unsettling things when she’s upset or thinks she’s in trouble. She’ll curl into a ball on the floor and say things like “I’m not good enough,” or “I ruined everything,” or “I’m not beautiful enough." I’m so afraid that’s the beginning of her inner monologue. How can I help her unlearn that kind of thinking at home?" Asking your child's teacher if there is in fact negative messaging happening at school is a good place to start. And you'll also want to ascertain if your kid is showing low frustration tolerance at school as well as at home, because the issue may lie more with increased frustration than with decreased self-esteem. If your child is saying these things only when they're upset or scared, that's another good sign that this is a way to express frustration that she's trying on, but which might not be the source of the frustration. It's an indication that her self-esteem isn't the issue so much as her ability to express these feelings of overwhelm. The most effective times to support your child's self-esteem are when she's not already dysregulated and upset. At those times, reassure her with your calming presence, but don't feel like you have to get her to unsay it all in the moment. She probably won't be able to respond in the way you want when she's upset. Take advantage of quiet moments to lean into positive self-talk. Pause those Disney movies (all of them have this moment) when the protagonist doubts themselves, and show your kid that even though people may doubt themselves, they can still get there in the end. Here's the link to the book that Amy mentions: A SMART GIRL'S GUIDE: LIKING HERSELF from American Girl Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We may think that eliminating all anxiety from our kids' lives is the endgame. But Dr. Catherine McCarthy, Heather Tedesco, PhD, and Jennifer Weaver, authors of the new book "Raising a Kid Who Can," discuss why admitting you don't have all the answers is actually necessary to help kids thrive. Dr. Catherine McCarthy, Heather Tedesco, PhD, and Jennifer Weaver, LCSW are mental health experts, whose work provides parents with the tools they need to navigate a complex world and help their kids move from anxious to adaptable. Margaret, Jennifer, Catherine, and Heather discuss: Why we're living in the age of anxiety—and how to help kids navigate it Why letting our kids talk about their feelings too much can backfire Why the goal isn't zero anxiety Here's where you can find Catherine, Heather, and Jennifer: www.raisingakidwhocan.com @akidwhocan on IG #raisingakidwhocan Buy RAISING A KID WHO CAN: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523518593 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we find it hard to stay connected to our friends without kids? Does the total separation of our daily experience, once we become parents, mean those friendships cannot remain the same? Allison P. Davis's recent cover story for New York magazine, When One Friend Has a Baby and the Other Doesn't, explored this dilemma from the childfree-by-choice point of view. Here's our own take on how our friendships have morphed and changed since we became parents. In this episode we discuss: Why our friends without kids aren't wrong to be annoyed by us sometimes Why we’re not conditioned to put the same amount of effort into friendships as we do other relationships How to know if a friendship is worth the long-term effort Here are links to some other resources mentioned in this episode: Christine Organ for Motherly: Motherhood feels lonelier than ever Fortesa Latifi for The Washington Post: "Spoon theory: What it is and how I use it to manage chronic illness" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do we have the authority to keep other kids off their own devices in our home? A listener wrote in to ask: "How have you all handled other kids' devices in your home? My 9-year-old daughter has neighborhood friends come over most days. There is an 11-year-old with an iPhone and little to no restrictions on its use. Is it overstepping to say that if another kid's device comes in, it has to stay on our kitchen table until they leave?" Margaret says that it's totally within your control to decide how devices are used in your own house. Have a basket where phones and tablets can be placed at the beginning of a playdate. Or allow their use only in the areas of the house where you can monitor their use. Don't feel bad about keeping a hard line, even if you get comments or eyerolls from kids. You'll feel much better if you don't have to constantly worry about what kids might be doing on their devices in your house—because that really is your responsibility. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can we talk about America’s ongoing legacy of racism without sliding into despair? In his new memoir HOW FAR TO THE PROMISED LAND, Esau McCaulley tells his own story—and questions why Black failure is judged collectively, while Black success is perceived as the merit of an individual. Rev. Esau McCaulley, PhD, is an author and associate professor of New Testament at Wheaton College. His work has been published in The New York Times, The Atlantic, the Washington Post, and Christianity Today. Esau and Amy discuss: Why "escaping poverty" is a misleading term How experiences that set the context for heroic bravery also create the possibility for failure What caused Esau to change his definition of justice Here's where you can find Esau: www.esaumccaulley.com @OfficialEsauMcCaulley on Facebook @esaumccaulley on Twitter on Instagram Buy HOW FAR TO THE PROMISED LAND: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241080 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. How do we maintain healthy relationships with our extended family, whether they live five or five hundred miles away? Amy and Margaret talk about how their own extended families operate, and what works best to keep everyone connected. Amy and Margaret discuss: The types of conflicts that extended families typically experience The value of extended family—whether or not they live nearby How to model healthy extended family relationships for your kids Here are some links to further reading on the topic: Michele Meleen for Love to Know: Definition of Extended Families: Meanings and Roles Kiley Hurst for Pew Research Center: More than half of Americans live within an hour of extended family Frank Bruni for The NYT: "Tolstoy and Miss Daisy" Megan Carnegie for BBC Family Tree: The tensions that fan tricky in-law relationships Karen L. Fingerman, et. al, for Purdue University: In-Law Relationships Before and After Marriage: Husbands, Wives, and Their Mothers-in-Law Fatherly: 16 Tips For Creating Healthy Boundaries With Your Extended Family We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we get our savvy stallers to get ready for bed in a reasonable amount of time? Amy gives a listener some tools for speeding up a bedtime slowpoke. Nici came to our Facebook group to ask: "Please help this mom of a very smart and savvy 11-year old who is some kind of Jedi master of STALLING. He knows it’s bedtime. He doesn’t want to go to bed. But instead of outright complaining, he subtly and consistently stalls his bedtime by doing little tiny things to stall the process. Pointing out each little thing he’s doing in order to stall is annoying and only makes him dig his heels in more. I love him so much, and I know this is all probably a ploy for attention, BUT COME ON. I feel like we give him a LOT of attention throughout the day and in general. What can I do?" What is your kid getting out of stalling? Maybe they do want to just stay up later. It could be that his bedtime needs to be rolled back by half an hour. You can also try doing the unpreferred activities before the preferred one. All the bedtime stuff (homework, shower, pajamas, teeth, whatever it is) comes before the preferred activity (TV, gaming, time with you). When something with a kid becomes an ongoing struggle, the best place to start is to ask these two questions: what can I add? What can I take away? You might add external motivation, rewards, a later weekend bedtime. You might take away your presence while he stalls, the dog that is there to distract him, the sugary treats that might be revving him up. Work these dials one at a time, and have patience. Once you figure out a kid's secondary gain, and/or the currency that motivates them, things will usually fall into place. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After Minna Dubin's New York Times essay on mom rage went viral, she received hundreds of messages from other parents, thanking her for daring to explore something most of us would rather pretend doesn't exist. Dubin was therefore inspired to write the new book MOM RAGE: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood, to explore what exactly mom rage is, where it comes from, and what we can do about it. Minna's writing has appeared in the New York Times, Salon, Parents, among others, and as a leading feminist voice on mom rage, Minna has appeared on MSNBC, Good Morning America, and NPR. In this interview, Minna and Amy discuss: Why mom rage is a complex multi-phase physiological and psychological cycle that starts long before we explode The societal neglect of mothers, and how it contributes What does—and doesn't—work to mitigate our mom rage We discussed Minna's original essay, and our own takes on mom rage, in this additional episode. Here's where you can find Minna: @minnadubin on IG, Twitter, Threads https://minnadubin.com Buy MOM RAGE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781541601307 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One day out of school? Fine, here’s the remote. But by day four of a low-grade temp— just enough to keep the kid home— most parents get rather desperate for ideas. We are both unfortunate experts on the topic of kids’ sick days, and here's what we've learned. This is a "Best Of" episode from the pre-Covid days. If your kid might have Covid, definitely ignore any "they're probably fine, just send them" advice you may hear in this episode! Amy and Margaret discuss: what you should already have around the house in anticipation of those “Mommy, I don’t feel well” moments why sick days are not the time to introduce a new skill why we must always beware secondary gain Here’s links to some research and articles with great ideas for sick-day kids that we discuss: Stephanie Morgan for Momtastic: 10 Activities When Sickness Has You Stuck At Home from NPR: Should My Slightly Sick Child Stay Home? The Rules Often Conflict and most importantly, this sobering read, from Heather Murphy for the New York Times: Fish Depression is Not a Joke We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we help our kids navigate the possibility of going viral online for one little mistake? Devorah Heitner, author of the new book Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World, explains how we can protect our kids online without invading their privacy. Devorah Heitner is a leading authority on raising resilient and kind kids in our always-connected world. Her writing on kids and technology has appeared in The New York Times and The Washington Post, among others. Devorah, Amy, and Margaret discuss: what accountability for mistakes should look like for kids what drives parents to overtrack their kids online - and the consequences mentoring versus monitoring our kids' digital activity Here's where you can find Devorah: Instagram: @devorahheitnerphd Twitter: @DevorahHeitner Website: devorahheitner.com Buy GROWING UP IN PUBLIC: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593420966 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Getting-ready playlists? Choosing outfits the night before? Bringing snacks to the pickup line? We asked our audience about their favorite back-to-school tips... and we also allowed some venting about back-to-school craziness as well. Amy and Margaret discuss: To make lunch or not to make lunch How to keep outfits clean at breakfast The best time to grocery shop Here are links to resources mentioned in the episode: Read the full Facebook thread here and if you're not already part of our amazing group, you can join at www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast! Watch the short film Amy mentions: "How Was Your Day?" directed by Allison Hadar and Maddie Corman We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we get rid of the giant dollhouse or racecar track that our kid insists they ALWAYS play with? (Even though they don't.) Here's how to clean house while remaining on your kid's team. A listener on Facebook asks: "How have you been able to get your younger children to part with toys? I’m trying to get rid of the giant four-foot dollhouse we were gifted several years ago. My daughter is 4 and I think she only ever played with it 3 or 4 times (years ago), yet she is so attached to it! Did I mention it’s huge?! Oh and I hate it! I typically get rid of things they don’t play with when the they aren’t around, but this is like a piece of furniture and she’ll definitely notice its absence." There are two paths to getting this dollhouse out once and for all, Margaret explains. Playing the role of teammate and the role of benevolent dictator. Playing teammate means asking for your kid's help on how to get the dollhouse to someone who would appreciate it more. Playing benevolent dictator means acknowledging your child's love of the toy while holding firm on your stance of getting rid of it. Margaret prefers the teammate approach - your kid should feel heard, but they should also know you're in charge and have final say in the toy department. It's a good idea to rotate your child's toys out of site for a bit so that once they come out again, they feel new and exciting. And check in with your child regularly about which toys they're actually playing with to help them understand what's most important to them. Here's the link to the resource Margaret mentions in the episode: Birute Efe for Kidsactivities.com: "10 Ways to Get Rid of Toys without Drama" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we teach our children that it's not okay to say mean things about family members, especially in front of them? Diana emailed us to say: "My 5-year-old daughter has a clear and strong preference for my in-laws versus my own parents, I think because she saw more of them when she was little, so is more comfortable with them. It hurts my feelings and also hurts theirs. She is very honest about her feelings and will say that she doesn’t want them to come over, doesn’t want them to sit next to her, doesn’t want them to stay when they do come over. I hoped by seeing them more she would warm up and she usually does have a good time with them once she settles in, but she’s still saying hurtful things. I would greatly appreciate any advice on making the situation more manageable." When children are expressing repeated resistance to spending time with certain grownups, it's always important to rule out whether there's another, more serious and unexpressed reason for that resistance. Once that's been ruled out, consider what secondary gain your child might be receiving from saying these things. Most 5-year-olds are old enough to have empathy, and understand when they've hurt others' feelings. It's also an age by which kids can usually learn to control their impulses. A child who is saying rude things to their friends and teachers, and not just at home, might need a little scaffolding around impulse control, and learning more appropriate ways to express her frustration. In that case, these hurtful comments can become teachable moments for fostering emotional intelligence. On the other hand, if only one person or setting is the location for these rude comments, then you know that it is in your child's control to express their frustrations differently. Model what you expect, hold the line, and you should see improvement. For more resources and ideas, check out this article: Amy Morin for VeryWell Family: 10 Ways to Handle Disrespectful Behavior Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we reconcile the desire to give our kids independence with the desire to protect them from the world? Dr. Emily Edlynn, author of the new book Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, explains how we can let go of the anxiety-driven controlling impulses inherent in modern parenting. In this interview, Dr. Edlynn and Margaret discuss: The intersection of autonomy-supportive parenting and neurodiverse kids What an autonomy-supportive environment looks like (and what gets in the way) Tools we can use to prevent overparenting Here's where you can find Dr. Edlynn: www.emilyedlynnphd.com @DrEmilyEdlynn on IG, Twitter, LinkedIn The Art and Science of Mom, Emily Edlynn, PhD on FB Buy AUTONOMY-SUPPORTIVE PARENTING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781641709767 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We've got a mom for that! We asked our listeners what specialties you're the go-to people for. In this episode we discuss those unique and useful talents, from being the one who can pack an entire sectional into an SUV, to being the one who can make dinner for six out of a basically empty pantry. To that end, if you'd like to be the mom for that, Amy recommends Sam Sifton's book No-Recipe Recipes in this episode. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"I am part of a WhatsApp chat with other parents in my child's nursery. It's not set up by the nursery, nor does it seem to have all of the parents in it. The problem is it's very unpleasant and dominated by a small minority of very vocal complainers. It's causing me some anxiety and some distrust of the nursery which objectively seems unwarranted. What can I do?" Group chats are a double-edged sword. Some are amazing, like the What Fresh Hell Facebook group, and some are anxiety-causing and more trouble than they're worth. It's not your job to convince the other parents that they're being too negative - it IS your job to opt out for your own sanity and mental health, though. And it's perfectly fine to do so. You can quit completely or just mute notifications and go in to ask a genuine question every once in a awhile. It can occasionally be useful to know when certain events are happening or if there is an early dismissal, for example. Ultimately, engage with the conversations that are useful, and excuse yourself from the unhelpful negativity and complaining - you'll thank yourself later! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“It's becoming increasingly clear that different ways of being are more 'normal' than most people realize, and that is truer with each passing year," says Debbie Reber, author of Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In this "Best of" Fresh Take, Debbie offers concrete, actionable ideas that will allow us to become exceptional parents to our exceptional kids. Debbie Reber is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of TiLT Parenting, a top podcast, community, and educational resource for parents raising differently wired children. Debbie, Amy, and Margaret discuss: why typical suggestions for parenting neurodivergent kids can be inadequate finding opportunities to "tilt" our parenting, rather than struggling to straighten our child why small changes can have big impacts for differently wired kids Here's where you can find Debbie: https://www.debbiereber.com/ @debbiereber on Twitter @DeborahReberAuthor on Facebook Buy Debbie's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523506316 TiLT Parenting is now part of the Adalyst Media network! Check out all of our amazing podcasts at adalystmedia.com. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes we need to stop trying so hard for things to get easier. We asked our listeners: where’s an area of your parenting where you got better results by doing less? In this episode we discuss our listeners' best advice on how to parent more lightly by caring less about our children’s: homework potty training outfits palates basic hygiene birthday parties We also talk “bare minimum parenting” in its many forms with guest James Breakwell, author of Bare Minimum Parenting: The Ultimate Guide to Not Quite Ruining Your Child. James says bare minimum parenting isn’t about the number of kids you have: “Two children aren’t twice as much work as one. If you’re already yelling at the first kid, just add the name of the second kid at the end.” For James, bare minimum parenting is about playing the long game. Can you look around at a group of adults and pick out which ones had baby massage or language-immersion preschool? Okay, sometimes they’re dead ringers. But most of the time you can’t, and we think James’s new book is slyly revolutionary in the way it enables all of us to do less, worry less, and get our kids to pretty much the same place in the end. In other words, Bare Minimum Parenting doesn’t have to mean no rules. It can mean basic rules that work for your family. But those rules aren’t set by the family next door, or that clickbait-y guilt-inducing article you just read. And when the rules don’t work? Put them aside for a bit. No regrets. ICYMI: in this episode Margaret mentions this slackline as her key to bare minimum backyard fun— her kids play on it for hours. Here's where you can find James: Buy James's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982599294 @XplodingUnicorn on Twitter @ExplodingUnicorn on Facebook We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At what age are our children ready for the sometimes shark-infested waters of social media? What limits can we set and tactics can we use to keep them safe while allowing them to communicate with their friends and stay connected? Megan sent an email to questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com to ask: "I’m getting so worried about social media as my kids grow older. As a mom of three (ages 9, 12, and 14), I find myself at a loss when it comes to navigating this digital landscape. My oldest, who is in 8th grade, is starting to express a desire to get social media. She keeps talking about how all of her friends have it. However, I can’t help but worry about the unrealistic standards it sets, and how that could affect her development and self-esteem. Am I crazy for not wanting her to get Instagram and Tiktok? I want her to grow up like an average kid and not miss out on things her friends are doing. I just wish social media wasn’t so toxic, especially for girls." Your kid is likely telling the truth when she says that most of her peers are on social media. That doesn't mean your concerns as a parent for her safety and privacy aren't incredibly valid. Social media doesn't have to be an either absolutely-none or no-holds-barred decision. Privacy settings, and controlling what your child is posting, give you some control. It's possible to start with tighter reins and more oversight and then slowly let out the slack line. Take the particulars of your own kid into consideration. You know what's right for your kid. Set the rules you want with an open dialogue, rather than have it become something that your daughter can't talk about with you at all.Approaching social media with your child, rather than forbidding until she figures out how to do it behind your back, is probably the better option. Links to resources Amy mentions in the episode: Wait Until 8th: https://www.waituntil8th.org/ Devorah Heitner's book Growing Up In Public: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593420966 Bark.us (use this code for a free trial: https://www.bark.us/?ref=2R4XYRK) Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two recent national studies underlined that there's a surprising group of children at risk for worse mental health outcomes: kids who go to high-achieving schools. How do we protect our kids from the pressures all around them to succeed at any cost? Jennifer Wallace, author of the new book Never Enough, shows us how to teach our kids that they matter intrinsically. Jennifer Wallace is an award-winning journalist and a frequent contributor to the Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post. She lives in New York City with her husband and their three teenagers. Amy, Margaret, and Jennifer discuss: Why achievement pressure is at an all-time high How parents contribute to, but are not solely responsible for, this pressure How to teach our kids that they matter independently of their achievements Here's where you can find Jennifer: jenniferbwallace.com @jenniferbwallace on IG @jennifer.b.wallace on FB Buy Jennifer's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593191866 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when the usual parenting advice feels zero-percent applicable to our own situation? The first step is to let go of any "second arrow" self-blame that that is the case. The second step is to chart our own paths. Amy and Margaret discuss: What types of kids may not benefit from the one-size-fits-all parenting advice Why the concept of default parenting advice is harmful Why kids "irritating behaviors" are signs that they are growing and learning appropriately Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sarah Lyons for Western NY Family Magazine: "One Size Doesn't Fit All" Our episode "When Your Kid Doesn't Fit the Mold" Jeanie Lerche Davis for WebMD: 10 Commandments of Good Parenting Dana Bosu: How to Cope When Your Child is Different Andrew Solomon: Far From the Tree Ross Greene: The Explosive Child Rita Eichenstein: Not What I Expected Deborah Reber: Differently Wired Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when, despite every tactic we can think of, our child refuses to eat dinner? Margaret puts a mom's anxieties around missed meals into perspective. Jillian asks: "What do you do when your two-and-a-half-year-old absolutely refuses to put a lick of dinner in her mouth? Night after night I offer multiple items. We've tried eating on the couch and in front of theTV, hoping the mindless eating scenario might happen. None of it has worked. At my wit's end!" Margaret recommends buying the book Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellen Satter. Satter explains that the parent decides what to serve, and the child decides what to eat. It's not our job to force feed our kids when they would rather be doing anything else. They may simply not be hungry, especially if they had a late afternoon snack. If you think there's something serious underlying this reluctance to eat, definitely reach out to your pediatrician. But if your child eats well at other meals, there is probably not reason for concern. Don't chase your child's behavior and bend over backwards to get them to eat at all costs. Even if they don't want to eat, they can sit quietly at the table while everyone else enjoys dinner. If they start throwing food or otherwise misbehaving, don't hesitate to end the meal for them or otherwise give appropriate consequences. And as Margaret can attest from the other side, it will get better as they get older! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to have an identity outside being a mother? How do we forge a new sense of self that includes motherhood but isn't defined by it? Life coach Bea Kim provides tips for defining our true values and then living those values out. Bea Kim is the founder of Parent Refresh, a company that provids parent-focused services through life coaching, fitness, and community, and Awaken, a diversity, equity, and inclusion educational company. Bea and Margaret discuss: The liminal space between pre- and post-parenthood How mismanaged expectations cause problems for new moms What it means to define our own values and why it's important for mothers Here's where you can find Bea: https://beakim.com/ https://medium.com/bea-kim-coaching on Medium https://www.linkedin.com/in/beabahn/ on LinkedIn @beakimcoaching on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know someone who causes chaos, lawful and otherwise, wherever they go. Those people, are called "crazymakers," a term first coined by Julia Cameron and which perfectly describes the unwelcome disruption they bring to our own peace of mind. Here's how to spot the crazymakers in your life, and how to avoid getting caught up in their mischief. Margaret and Amy discuss: The true definition of a crazymaker and the three top types Why crazymakers use low-power strategies of dominance How maintaining your own self worth helps deter crazymakers Check us out on YouTube! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we tell our kids not to curse when they insist that everyone around them—maybe even their parents—do so? Amy explains different scenarios for cursing and what she deems appropriate for her own kids. A listener asks: "Can you talk about when kids curse, when we curse...does it matter? My kids are almost 13 and 15 and they say everyone curses. We allow some cursing—heck, we have even been known to toss out some ourselves—but now I think my oldest curses too much and yet she is a straight A student." When it comes to younger kids, Amy explains, it pays to be strict about cursing or else you'll run out of room to enforce rules around such things when they're older. There's a big difference between cursing at, say, a stubbed toe, and cursing at someone or calling them a curse word. The latter never flies in Amy's house. You can also differentiate for your kids the kinds of conversations that happen amongst friends and those that occur in formal settings like school and work. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can we grieve the person we were before motherhood? Jamilla Svansson-Brown, who runs a YouTube channel with her wife Que, discusses how motherhood changes us, strengthening marriages, and listening to people with different lived experiences. Jamilla and Que are a two-mom family based in Atlanta, GA, who have been creating content for over 7 years after recognizing a gap in the influencer industry and not seeing creators who were Black Women, Fem/Masc presenting, or a part of the LGBTQ community. Jamilla and Margaret discuss: How parenthood changes our relationships with our partners How the division of labor works in the Svansson-Brown household What it means to be an authentic ally Here's where you can find Jamilla and Que: www.jamillaandque.com @jamillaandque on YouTube, TikTok, and IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are people with clean houses doing a bit? Are people with messy ones somehow less worthy? Kendra Adachi, author of THE LAZY GENIUS WAY tells us how to make a just-good-enough system that works for exactly us - and stop caring about everything else. Kendra Adachi also hosts "The Lazy Genius" podcast and is the mother of three young kids. Kendra, Margaret, and Amy discuss: How to implement systems that are practical rather than Pinterest-worthy Why we should stop applauding chaos as the only indicator of vulnerability The power of putting everything in its place Here's where you can find Kendra: www.thelazygeniuscollective.com Buy The Lazy Genius Way: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525653936 @thelazygenius on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our child is suddenly being left out of their friend group, how can we help them cope without giving in to our own emotions about the situation? A member of our Facebook group writes: "My 9-year-old finally made a new group of friends this year in school, and the other day at recess they announced that they don’t want to be her friend anymore. She is crushed, and while I know this is part of growing up, I don’t know how to help her. I let her stay home today- to be honest, partly so she doesn’t have to endure a recess with this group of girls ignoring her or worse. I know missing school is not the answer. How can I help her? " Margaret reminds this listener that she's not on the emotional roller coaster with her kid in this situation - rather, she is a neutral and safe space for her child to express their feelings about the situation. It's important to let your child feel whatever they need to about the situation without trying to "fix" them or suggesting how they might behave differently in order to gain entry back into the friend group. Remind them that they can only control how they react to the situation, and empower them to focus on other friendships, hobbies, and activities for the time being. In the meantime, watch out for signs that your child is suffering from severe bullying, such as weight loss, loss of appetite, or loss of interest in normal activities - this could mean that they need a more robust form of intervention on their behalf. Here are links to some resources Margaret mentions: Sherri Gordon for VeryWell Family: 7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized Our episode about bullies Our episode "Mean Girls with Katie Hurley" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when your perfect life comes crumbling down? Lara Love Hardin, author of the new memoir "The Many Lives of Mama Love" shares her experiences of addiction and incarceration, how it affected her children, and how it shaped the new life she has now. Amy and Lara discuss: What it's like to parent from prison How the prison system keeps women down How Lara found her own version of redemption Here's where you can find Lara: https://www.laralovehardin.com/ IG: @laralovehardin Facebook: Lara Love Hardin Buy Lara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982197667 The Gemma Project Watch Lara's TED Talk We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Once your kids are a little bit older, can you be dropped into the madness of having little ones again without missing a beat? Apparently not - here's what Margaret learned after a brief season of tending to little kids again. Amy and Margaret discuss: The stakes of babysitting versus parenting All the little things we block out once our kids are more independent How times stretches out forever when you've got little kids to entertain all day If you're near New Braunfels, Texas, check out the McKenna Children's Museum! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it that summer never seems to be the picture-perfect, sun-washed experience we want for our kids? Amy helps a listener ditch her mom guilt over not providing her kids with the "perfect" summer. "I have the end of summer scaries. Or end of summer mom guilt. I feel so bummed that I have spent most of the summer in survival mode instead of really enjoying it with my children. I probably have seen way too many of those "you only get 18 summers" posts. My oldest starts first grade in two weeks and I feel like I completely failed. I wish we had spent more time swimming, riding bikes, all of that quintessential summer stuff. Instead, I feel like I've spent most of it breaking up fights with his 4 year old brother, keeping the 18 month old from injuring himself, and saying "no" to every request. I'm notoriously hard on myself so I probably just need a reality check. Does anyone else feel this way?" It's totally normal to feel like the summer is a more difficult time of year, especially with three little kids to entertain, Amy explains. There are more hours of daylight and more unstructured time. And, by the way, your kids don't vaporize once they turn 18, and if they're away at college, summer is when you WILL see them, at least somewhat more than you did during the school year. Try to decouple yourself from the overwhelming "you only get 18 summers with your kids" messaging. It robs you of the ability to remain present THIS summer with your kids. So how do you try and be present with your kids without worrying about how many summers you have left in the bank? Start super small. Declare that it's "ice cream dinner" tonight or let the kids cover the driveway in chalk drawings. The "summer memories" we're supposed to be making are by definition lazy and unstructured. And those little things we may think are nothing special are probably what our kids will look back on most fondly. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can we place reasonable limits on our kids' screen time— and how do we know what's reasonable? Ash Brandin, better known on Instagram as @TheGamerEducator, brings their experience as an educator (and gamer) to help families better understand and manage technology in ways that can benefit the entire family. In this episode, we discuss: why screens are "value neutral," and why their educational merit is derived more from how screens are being used the one question we should ask ourselves to know whether screens are okay in a given moment how to raise kids who will be able to set their own parameters around screens and gaming once we're no longer there to harass them Here's where you can find Ash: TheGamerEducator.com @TheGamerEducator on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Teaching kids about how money works feels ever more important in a world where we pay for things by waving our phones, and where a couple of taps brings us anything we want to our doorstep twenty-four hours later. Sometimes we feel like protecting our kids from the realities of our financial situations is what is most appropriate. But somewhere along the way we can start teaching kids financial literacy by making our family decisions around money concrete and transparent. In this episode we discuss: our children's many "blind spots" around money and spending (and what were once our own) the differences in spending when people use credit cards versus cash how to discuss your family's "money values" in terms of what you are (and are not) willing to spend Here are some links to resources mentioned in the episode: @bethkobliner on Twitter BusyKid: What Your Child Can Understand About Money, Age by Age Beth Kobliner for PBS News Hour: Money habits are set by age 7. Teach your kids the value of a dollar now Jana B. Woodhouse for How Money Works: Can You Teach Your Kids How Money Works? (Yes!) Shereen Marisol Meraji and Andee Tagle for NPR's Life Kit: Want to teach your kids about money? Start by including them in the conversation Johnathan G. Conzelmann and T. Austin Lacy for Brookings: Financial and student loan (il)literacy among US college students Our episode "Should We Pay Our Kids To Clean Our Rooms?" Our Fresh Take with Bobbi Rebell Check us out on YouTube! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you host relatives in your home in a loving and generous way without becoming overwhelmed? Margaret explains that hosts, not guests, get to make the rules for timing and length of their visits. A listener asked: Do you have any ground rules or tips and tricks for having family come stay with you? My husband and I live interstate between both of our families of origin, so if they visit, they stay with us. We don't live in a large house and we're finding the line between hospitality and what we can handle hard to draw. How can we simplify our approach? When people come to your house, it's perfectly acceptable to set ground rules that represent roughly 50% of what you need/want, and 50% of what your guests would prefer. Ultimately, though, it's your house, so you have veto power should a disagreement arise. You have the right to decide when and how long people come to stay with you. You may get pushback from relatives, but you are within your rights to gently decline their requests. That being said, operate from your maximum place of generosity and do your best to accommodate the people who raised you/your spouse and want to be in their grandkids' lives. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why are women expected to love pregnancy and new motherhood without exception or complaint? Erin Pepler, author of the collection of essays "Send Me Into the Woods Alone," discusses the stigma that still persists around mothers expressing difficulty and displeasure with their lives—and how reading and writing about motherhood has improved her own life. Erin Pepler is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Today’s Parent, ParentsCanada, SavvyMom, Romper, Scary Mommy, MoneySense, Broadview Magazine and more. Erin and Amy discuss: Why pregnancy is "objectively weird" Why women are expected to downplay their pain and suffering particularly as new mothers How anxiety can shape us as parents... and when it's time to take a closer look Here's where you can find Erin: erinpepler.com @erinpepler on Instagram and Twitter @erinpeplerwriter on Facebook Buy SEND ME INTO THE WOODS ALONE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781988784892 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rooms where no one was allowed to go? Saving up phone minutes? Opening one kind of cereal at a time? What odd rules did we once live by that we can't imagine following now? Amy and Margaret discuss: The Good Room Snuggies Peek Freans Links to references in this episode: The Onion: Bloodthirsty, Undead Ghoul Advocates Chocolate-Cereal Consumption "Certain things are for company" - comedian Sebastian Maniscalco "Company is Coming" - comedian Chris Fleming Peek Freans Follow us on Threads @whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What are the signs that kids no longer want to share a room, and when do the cons of a shared space outweigh the pros? Amy cites a study or two to help a mom decide what's best for her two boys. Emily asks: How do I know when the right time is for my two boys (ages 7 and 8) to stop sharing a room? Are there signs I should be looking for? For context, the boys have shared a room since they were 1 and 2. We have a guest room that we occasionally let one sleep in, but it’s usually just when one is sick. I have heard from other moms that the benefits of sharing a room can expire as they get older, but I am not sure what I should be watching for. If the current arrangement is working for everyone in the family there's no need to immediately change things up. But there are signs you can watch for that might mean a change is worth consideration. A child's desire for privacy, siblings who bicker constantly, a divergence in interests or habits, and increasing homework loads are all signs that separate spaces might be needed. Studies also show that kids also get more sleep when they don't share rooms. However, this doesn't necessarily mean separate bedrooms. There could be one room designated for sleeping/study ,and another room designated for play and activity. Don't feel guilty if your kids need to share a room, or if it just works better for the whole family that way. As far as knowing when it's time to change things, the clearest signal may be if and when one of the room-sharers actually asks for their own space. Here are links to some resources Amy mentions in the episode: Erin Quinn-Kong for Sleep Foundation: Having Your Own Room as a Kid May Be Worth 28 Minutes of Sleep Kara Carrero for Extremely Good Parenting: Should siblings share a bedroom? This research will help you decide! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What "scams" about motherhood have we become subject to without really questioning them? What would happen if we stopped subscribing to these ideas? Raena Boston, founder of the Working Momtras, discusses ways to counteract the sexism inherent in parenting, particularly mothering, and how to make the personal political. Raena is a mom of three, co-founder of the nonprofit Chamber of Mothers, and a fierce advocate for working families. In this interview, Raena and Margaret discuss: Mom guilt as a scam and how we can dismantle it Why dads need parental leave too What federal paid family leave really means Here's where you can find Raena: www.theworkingmomtras.com @theworkingmomtras on IG @workingmomtras on Twitter Listen to our episode with Kate Mangino on her book "Equal Partners" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's July bonus episode time! We opened up the floor for our listeners to ask us anything, and it turns out we're still learning things about each other after all these years. Topics include: The best parenting book Amy has ever read Pajama grams Billy Joel's and Bill Clinton's dogs To listen to the full episode, sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast. You get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if we didn't let other people's judgments change our game plans—as women, as mothers, and as humans? We're wired to pay attention to what other people think. There's a reason those judgments can be painful. Are there ways we can break free and care less? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss... How our innate need to belong (and not ostracized) is hard-wired The "behavioral inhibition system" and how it gets triggered Whose feelings and judgments we should take into account Why parenting is an especially problematic zone for others' judgments of us Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our episode "Parenting With An Audience" Governor J.B. Pritzker's speech to the 2023 graduates of Northwestern University: "The kindest person in the room is often the smartest." Rachel Moss for HuffPost UK: How To Actually Stop Caring What Other People Think Of You hotter.com: At What Age Do You Feel Most Comfortable In Yourself? Arthur C. Brooks for The Atlantic: No One Cares! Naomi I. Eisenberger: Why Rejection Hurts: What Social Neuroscience Has Revealed About the Brain’s Response to Social Rejection Sarah Coyne for The Joplin Globe: Parenting with an audience changes the rules  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you let your child experience natural consequences for their slowpoke actions—without going insane yourself? Listener Katie asks: "My 11-year-old has trouble meeting deadlines we set for her (running to catch the bus, not getting to bed by her bedtime). When my husband and I try to help her stay on track she talks back or purposefully stalls more! I don’t know how to not get triggered by that. It makes me angry which doesn’t help. Any suggestions? Either for staying calm or what to try with her? We rely more on consequences than positive reinforcement. I would love my husband to be more of a positive presence in the morning, which might improve things. I’m only partially around for mornings (which doesn’t help). Thanks for at least letting me rant!" Margaret has been here herself. She coordinated with her child's school and asked them to issue the appropriate disciplines for lateness to her child on days her child was late, removing herself from being responsible for the consequences. It's important to remember that children aren't just fed by positive attention; negative attention gets them going just as much. Eleven-year-olds typically begin testing boundaries and asserting their independence, since they have no real power of their own at that age. Try telling your child that they are in charge of their own routines, as well as all consequences for being late. Ask them what they might need from you to make the routine a success—a wake-up call, packing a lunch, whatever the thing may be—and then try to leave them to their own devices. Eventually, they will realize you are serious about their making their own trains run on time. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why shouldn't you tell people your baby name ideas before the baby comes? What happens when the early mornings with a toddler clash with the late-night schedules of comedy clubs? Comedian Hari Kondabolu, whose new comedy special "Vacation Baby" is available for streaming on YouTube, discusses how parenting has changed his comedy— and the unexpected pleasures, amidst the struggles, of parenting during the pandemic. Hari Kondabolu has been praised as "one of the most exciting political comics in stand-up." He currently co-hosts the Netflix food competition show “Snack vs. Chef” with Megan Stalter. Hari first achieved widespread recognition for his award-winning documentary "The Trouble With Apu." In this episode Hari, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Why having a pet is definitely not the same as having a kid What he wants his audiences that aren't parents yet to understand about being a dad Why representation has become even more important to Hari now that he's a parent Here's where you can find Hari: harikondabolu.com Social media: @harikondabolu Watch "Vacation Baby" on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/HariKondaboluOfficial Get the extended version of Vacation Baby: https://harikondabolu.bandcamp.com/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It often becomes clear to us where our boundaries should have been set only after those lines have been crossed and left far behind. But whether it's with overbearing extended family members or partners who leave socks on the floor, how do we create effective boundaries? Especially after it's been established that we're not very good at it, and especially in a world that doesn't very much like women who aren't afraid to set them? In this "Best Of" episode we discuss why boundaries should be set early and often– and not just in problematic relationships, either. Healthy boundaries with our spouses, partners, and co-workers are what make long-term relationships possible. And don't forget positive boundaries. Want to start setting aside more money each month? Having one date night a week, or one weekend morning when you get to sleep in? It starts with saying so. Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Fatherly: 16 Tips For Creating Healthy Boundaries With Your Extended Family Mark Manson: Boundaries Elizabeth Earnshaw for Mind Body Green: A Therapist Explains 6 Things People Get Wrong About Setting Boundaries Sarah Saweikis for Medium: Scared to Set Boundaries? How to Set Boundaries to Improve Your Relationships and Increase Peace of Mind We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tired of buying new everything when your kid inevitably misplaces it? It's natural for kids to be a little disorganized, but if your kid is losing things left and right, there are some simple steps you can take. A member of our Facebook group asked: Any suggestions for the kid who loses everything? My son is 9. He lost three sweatshirts in the two months he was in in-person school, a tennis racquet at tennis camp, baseball glove at baseball practice, shin guards at soccer camp… and don’t even get me started on water bottles! The “lost and found” turned up one of the many things he has lost, but that is it. He swears each time that he put the things in his bag. Unless, there is a sweaty shin guard thief, this obviously is untrue. We’ve tried charts and check lists. We’ve tried making him earn the replacement items, but nothing seems to stop the constant misplacing of items. HELP! For the truly forgetful kids, the oft-cited "natural consequences"– if he doesn't have his shin guards, he won't be able to play, and he'll sure remember next time!– rarely work. Your child will feel chagrined, but be just as likely to forget the next time. In this episode Amy suggests what has worked in her household, like making reminders unmissable (put the reminder ON the doorknob, not hanging above it) labeling everything that costs more than the label would (Amy uses oliverslabels.com) use list-making apps and model using them yourself (Amy uses Workflowy) Kids do well if they can. Don’t give up on the checklists and the reminders if they don’t work right away. Keep your support system consistent– and non-shaming– and eventually your child will check for those shin guards before he leaves the field. Here are some resources worth looking into for kids who are a little disorganized: Check out Carolyn Dalgliesh's ideas for helping forgetful kids get organized: http://www.carolyndalgliesh.com/ Sara Olsher of Mighty + Bright has lots of great tools for helping kids stay organized Our Fresh Take with Ryan Wexelblatt, the ADHD Dude Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it really take to be a public school teacher in America? Alexandra Robbins, author of "THE TEACHERS: A Year Inside America's Most Vulnerable, Important Profession," illuminates how today's teachers battle against school shootings, shrinking budgets, irate parents and politicians, and the educational system itself. Alexandra Robbins is an award-winning investigative reporter who has written for publications, including The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Atlantic. In this interview Alexandra, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Our common misconceptions about what being a teacher entails Why the "teacher shortage" is a misnomer How we can truly support teachers Here's where you can find Alexandra: https://alexandrarobbins.com/ Facebook: AuthorAlexandraRobbins Twitter: @AlexndraRobbins Instagram: @authoralexandrarobbins Buy The Teachers: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781101986752 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we raise healthy, loving, polite, and appreciative teens? Is it humanly possible? From remaining "passively available" to taking our adolescents' seemingly trivial problems seriously, our listeners had great advice for bringing up teenagers. Amy and Margaret discuss: The blessing of nerd-dom How to keep your face in check when talking to your teen Why it's important to let your teen fail sometimes Here's our Fresh Take with Michelle Icard, author of "Fourteen Talks by Age 14" Here's the link to the full thread in our Facebook group Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we get our kids to do things the FIRST time they're asked, not the millionth time? Is it even possible? A listener from our FB group asks: "You have often given the advice from the dog-training world not to repeat yourself over and over again, because you are teaching your kids they only have to respond to the 3rd, 7th, or 100th time you ask. My question is: what do I do instead? Say I tell my toddler, "It's time to go brush teeth," and he ignores me to keep playing because: toddler. If I immediately remove the thing the toddler is playing with and pick him up to go to the bathroom, we are in tantrum land. Then bedtime is delayed by twenty minutes while we calm down. I don't want to turn every interaction into an exhausting battle of wills, but I also don't want to sound like a broken record. HELP." When kids are resisting instructions, it's important to suss out the real problems and find solutions for those specific instances. In this case of asking your toddler to brush their teeth: it's normal to sometimes have to repeat yourself with toddlers. But you also want to establish that you won't repeat yourself until they respond. You might insert an intermediate step where you say something like "Oh, it looks like you're really enjoying your truck right now. I'm going to go get the toothpaste out and give you a few more minutes." It's a back-to-one situation! And remember: just because you repeat yourself or get frustrated with your toddler doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. You're doing the best you can. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we're going through difficult seasons in our lives—illness, death, divorce, tragedy—it feels easier to protect our kids by leaving them out of the conversation. Sara Olsher, founder of Mighty + Bright, says kids don't miss a thing—and that we're missing the opportunity during such times to help our children learn resilience. Sara founded Mighty + Bright after guiding her child through her own divorce and cancer diagnosis. Mighty + Bright provides visual schedules, picture books, and other tools to help parents prioritize mental health for their kids, learning together and incorporating coping skills into their day-to-day lives. In this interview Sara, Margaret, and Amy discuss: How to raise resilience for ourselves and kids What works for families who are in hard seasons Why protecting kids from difficult issues doesn't work Here's where you can find Sara: http://mightyandbright.com @mightyandbrightco Check out all the amazing children's books Sara has written: https://bookshop.org/contributors/sara-olsher We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to have a midlife crisis? What exactly counts as "midlife," and (yikes) are we already in it? Can we avoid the disenchantment and the rash decision-making that stereotypically accompany such times in our lives? A listener in our Facebook group asked: "Who has been thru their midlife crisis and how did you deal? Turning 40 next week has me feeling like I've wasted my life. Can I get over the what-ifs?" In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: How American culture has changed its views on aging Why women and men experience midlife crises differently Why the age of your children might be the thing triggering your crisis Here are links to some of the resources discussed in the episode: Howard P. Chudacoff: How old are you? Age consciousness in American culture Laurence Steinberg: Crossing Paths: How Your Child's Adolescence Triggers Your Own Crisis Mark Jackson: Life begins at 40: the demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our children have a brush with danger, we moms love to punish ourselves for what might have happened. So does society at large. Amy tells a listener how to complete her trauma response and move on from a stressful event. A listener on Instagram asked: "How do I move past the mom guilt? I'm the mother to an 18-month-old that loves dogs. We have a rescue. I didn't grow up with dogs. We went for a walk today and came across an informal dog play date that we joined…the dogs were off leash. I asked if it was okay to bring my child, and the other owner said yes. I stupidly at one point let my little one walk away from me. Another dog came to sniff at her, and my dog kicked into full-on protective mode. The first time I'd ever seen that. My little one almost got hurt. We left soon after that and I never let my child out of my arms again. And once I got home, I Googled and saw, no, you should never take a kid to a dog play park. I feel so bad, so ashamed. How do I move on? Amy suggests that this listener is stuck in an incomplete trauma response, which Amelia and Emily Nagoski discuss in their book BURNOUT. It's important, Amy says, to complete the stress cycle, or else you stay stuck in the tunnel (as these authors explain). In our Ditching Mom Guilt episode, we discussed how mom guilt is a result of magical thinking in your primitive brain. If you're the cause of what's going wrong for your kids, you can also be the solution. Amy suggests that gratitude-based meditation of "I am safe now, I am safe now" and extra cuddles with the little one can help complete the stress cycle, along with a healthy dose of self-compassion and conscious uncoupling from the undeserved shame all moms, not dads, are made to feel when their children are perceived to be in danger. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we as women get accused of too much or too little ambition, but never the right amount? And why are mothers expected to let go of all nonfamilial ambitions once they become parents? Rainesford Stauffer, author of the new book “All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive," started by completely reconsidering the role of ambition in her own life. In this book, she invites us to redefine ambition for ourselves. Going above and beyond doesn't have to the worthiest thing about us. In this interview Rainesford and Amy discuss: How and when Rainesford changed her thoughts around her own ambition How parenting and ambition intersect How to define ambition for yourself Here's where you can find Rainesford: www.rainesfordstauffer.com Twitter: @Rainesford Instagram: @rainesford_stauffer Buy Rainesford's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780306830334 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why don't vacations feel like vacations for moms? Could it be all the prepping, packing, and traveling, with the additional pressure to make memories that will last a lifetime for our little ones? Here's how to make vacations truly fun and relaxing for the whole family. In this episode we discuss the wisdom of "taking turns being tired" why "going with the flow" is not an additive stance to vacation preparation why vacations get better as kids age Here are some links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Marie Holmes for HuffPost: Behind Every Precious Vacation Memory Stands An Exhausted Mother CafeMom: Moms Don't Get to 'Relax' on Family Vacations, For the Husbands Who Don't Get It Colleen Lanin for Travel Mamas: Ain’t Nobody Happy if Mama Ain’t Happy – Tips for Happy Travel with Kids The Onion: Mom Spends Beach Vacation Assuming All Household Duties In Closer Proximity To Ocean We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we help our children transition from pampered baby of the family to middle child? Is the resulting misbehavior going to go on forever? Someone in our Facebook group asked: "My five-year-old became a middle child a few months ago. He is so sweet and loving to his new little sister, but has been acting out: spitting, running around, saying bad things, hitting another kid in his pre-K class. He has been very difficult at home, too. He was never like this before becoming a middle child. Somebody please just tell me this is a phase." Yes, it's just a phase, Margaret assures us, citing her own experience being usurped as the baby of the family when she was five. This acting out is boundary-seeking behavior. When presented with changes in the family dynamic, kids will investigate to see if they can get away with more than they were able to previously. You can make your child feel validated in his frustration, but it's still important to set firm boundaries around unacceptable behavior. Here's the article Margaret suggests: Kate Marple for BabyCenter: Helping your child adjust to a new sibling Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when we don't fit the "perfect mom" mold? Are we still good mothers even if we don't? Jamilah Mapp and Erica Dickerson are the co-hosts of the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, and the authors of the new book "A Good Mom's Guide to Bad Choices." In this interview Jamilah, Erica, and Margaret discuss: Being a single mother Breaking parenting patterns What authentic parenting looks like Here's where you can find Jamilah and Erica: www.goodmomsbadchoices.com IG: @goodmoms_badchoices Twitter: @Thegoodmoms Listen to Good Moms Bad Choices podcast Buy A Good Mom's Guide to Bad Choices: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063161979 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From being able to sleep anywhere to pulling loose teeth to staying calm in a crisis, our listeners are great at all kinds of things when it comes to being parents. Amy and Margaret discuss: Lowered expectations Self-care for its own sake Margaret's Fran Drescher moments Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Handicrafts? Puzzles? Competitive pickleball? Amy and Margaret discuss hobbies old and new, high-maintenance and low. Amy and Margaret discuss: S&H Green Stamps Pickleball injuries The Book of Meg To hear the rest of the episode, sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast, where you can get all episodes ad-free as well! Supporting Cast works right where you already listen. Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What should we do when other people, relatives OR strangers, discipline our kids in front of us? Let it go, or intervene? Pamela recently wrote us to say: I'd love to hear your thoughts on handling relatives (or even strangers!) that try to discipline your kids. I recently had family in town and my six-year-old was given quite a few lectures on MINOR behaviors by a relative that has no children of their own. Things such as sitting in a chair well past when he was done eating, or accidentally kicking (when said relative started the roughhousing to begin with…) I’m able to call it out but why oh why does this happen?! Frustrating, to say the least, and confusing for my son! There are two matrixes that apply here: the "see this person 3 times a week / will never see this person again" axis, and the "totally not their business/ actually my kid was really bothering them" axis. If a particular example of discipline leaves your child red-faced and tearful, and the adult's reaction seems like an overreach, then attend to your child and make her feel safe. There are usually minimal returns for confrontation with a stranger– let alone a relative– but do what you have to do. But check your story. Did your kid brush it off and run along to play? Is the worst part of it all the "How dare you!" feelings you're left with? Reprimands from other people aimed at our kids can really sting us, because there are secondary (okay, primary) messages directed at our own parenting choices implicit within them. But if we keep our child's safety as top priority, other people's rights to a nice dinner or a no-throwing-sand sandbox a close second, and our own indignance a little further down the totem pole, knowing what's right to do in a given situation usually gets a little easier. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we untangle ourselves from technology? We give ourselves a hard time for not being able to put our screens down, but the platforms we use are designed to be addictive. It's not our fault. Gaia Bernstein's new book: Unwired: Gaining Control Over Addictive Technologies shatters the illusion that we can control how much time we spend on our screens by the force of willpower, timers, or yelling. Margaret and Gaia discuss: The psychological forces that make us keep scrolling What Big Tech and Big Tobacco have in common Why screen time limiters and other similar methods don't work Here's where you can find Gaia: https://gaiabernstein.com/ Twitter: @BernsteinGaia Buy Gaia's book Unwired: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781009257930 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hooray, summer is finally here! No more French quizzes or spirit days to dress for last-minute! So now what? Million-dollar summer camps? Kicking our kids outside from sunup to sundown so they don't drive us crazy? Here's how to give everyone, including yourself, a sane summer that won't send you into bankruptcy. Margaret and Amy discuss: Why summer light affects our mood the Farmer's Almanac predictions for summer 2023 (you get a heat wave! and YOU get a heat wave!) Summer camp inflation LINKS Johns Hopkins School of Public Health: 7 Things To Know About Daylight Savings Time Michele Marchetti & Mia Taylor for Parents: How To Handle the Rising Costs of Summer Camp American Camp Association: How To Afford Camp Robin Brandshaw for Beaumont Enterprise: Summer 2023 weather predictions We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when our kids ask us to explain scary things like natural disasters, accidents, and bad news? A listener in our Facebook group asks: "My 5yo is afraid of naturally occurring phenomena. Natural disasters like floods, tornadoes, hurricanes. I try to explain these things very matter-of-factly but she would continue with questions for days. “Do we get tornadoes?” “Would a flood come to our house?” If we are watching a show and someone injures themselves she would ask about what happened for days. “Mommy, what happened to that man? Why was he bleeding? Was he breathing? Why was his arm like that?” I realized these are very different situations but they all fuel some kind of anxiety in her. Does anyone else have a kid(s) dealing with these kinds of emotions? How can I help reassure her that she is safe and other people are safe when bad things happen to them?" Margaret says it's best to answer the question actually being asked— like "Is a flood coming to our house?" —rather than overexplaining natural disasters in general. Be honest with your kids about the nature of dangerous things, and be present with them. Ultimately what your kids really want is to process their feelings with you, their safe space. Lyra Fontaine for Seattle Children's Hospital: Helping Kids Cope with Anxiety Over Distressing News Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She's the host of "Good Inside With Dr. Becky," named by Apple Podcasts as one of the best podcasts of 2021. She also empowers more than a million parents following her on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside. Dr. Becky specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translating these ideas into simple, actionable strategies for parents. Her latest book is GOOD INSIDE: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. In this episode, Dr. Becky, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How kids communicate through their behaviors How to navigate behavior regulation when you're short on time Why "Good Inside" is a slightly different parenting approach Here's where you can find Dr. Becky: www.goodinside.com @drbeckyatgoodinside on IG and FB Buy Dr. Becky's book We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't know left from right? North from south? Estonia from Moldova? We asked our listeners what they feel they should have learned a long time ago but still get tripped up by as adults. Amy and Margaret discuss: Couples Jeopardy The secret to using a tape gun The Red Wedding We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Mommy! Why does that person look like that?!" Kids are naturally curious, and as recent guest Meg Zucker reminded us, it's not possible to program kids in advance to always fall in line with adults' preferred reactions. It's important to have the conversation early with your kids about how it's ok to notice people's differences but pointing them out in public can hurt people's feelings. It also helps to make your home a safe space to talk about kids' curiosities about a classmate, or someone they saw at the park, so they understand that people come in all shapes and sizes—and that the things we say, if we're not careful, still have the power to hurt others' feelings. Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder is a great book that shows kids bodies come in a lot of varieties and they all deserve to be celebrated. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we celebrate and encourage kids with disabilities and differences, without letting our fears and preconceptions dictate what we think they can do? How do parents of kids with less understanding of differences and disabilities allow for children's natural curiosity? Meg Zucker, author of the new book Born Extraordinary: Empowering Children with Differences & Disabilities, was born with a genetic condition called ectrodactyly. She is also the mother of three children, two of whom share this difference. Meg is also the founder and president of Don’t Hide It, Flaunt It, a non-profit with the mission of advancing understanding, tolerance, and mutual respect for people's differences. In this episode Meg and Amy discuss: "Disability" versus "difference," and how people choose the words that feel right for them How Meg's experience growing up different made her parenting kids with differences a little easier—though maybe not as much as someone outside that experience might expect the well-meaning "thrusting of help" that we might reconsider Here's where you can find Meg: @MegZucker @Justflauntit_ Buy Meg's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593419380 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Mom guilt" is shorthand for what we think are two pretty different things: the universal, low-grade feelings of inadequacy that our soccer snacks aren't as good as Monica's the intense, deeply personal shame that we are definitely the only horrible parent who has ever allowed their baby to roll off the changing table Yes, we take on these feelings of guilt and shame—but society is pretty quick to hand them to us. In this episode we discuss why there isn't such a thing as "dad guilt" why mom guilt might serve as a sort of magical thinking if we can at least skip the feeling guilty about HAVING mom guilt part Here are links to some studies and other writing on this topic that we discuss in this episode: Lara Bazelon for The Atlantic: The End of Mom Guilt Amy Paturel for The Washington Post: Why we feel 'mom guilt'—and how to stop Fresh Take: Dana Dorfman on When Worry Works Fresh Take: Carla Naumburg on Why You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent Fresh Take: Sara Petersen on "Momfluencers" Fresh Take: Susan Linn on How 'Big Tech' Targets Our Kids Batram-Zantvoort, Stephanie et al, Frontiers in Global Women's Health: "Maternal self-conception and mental wellbeing..." Subscribe to our newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we discipline our kids when they start sassing us with phrases they picked up elsewhere? We can view it as a teachable moment and foundation for cognitive development down the road. A listener in our Facebook group says: "My daughter is 3, almost 4. She’s been at daycare for about a year now and I’ve noticed she’s started picking up phrases from school that bother me. The thing is, some of them are probably also good things for her to be able to say, like “Don’t touch me” and “I don’t like you right now” and “Go away." The last one in particular really bugs me because while trying to gentle parent and be present, she only says these things when she’s mad at me for saying no to something. It somehow feels wrong because we don’t say that kind of stuff with each other in the home. There’s a part of me that’s glad she has the bodily autonomy to say no and I want to encourage that for her life in general. But when it’s just her and me alone I’m not sure what to do. Is this normal or should I be worried about what she’s picking up at school?" Is it necessarily a BIG deal that your child is sassing you at home? Not necessarily. Is it a teachable moment? Absolutely. Parenting gently doesn't necessarily mean never correcting a child when they're doing something unkind or hurtful. Your child is allowed to express when she'd prefer to play alone, for sure. "I don't like you right now" is certainly not an abnormal way for a preschooler to express that sentiment, but there are probably ways for her to express that preference without hurting the other person's feelings, whether it's a parent or a classmate. You can offer her more polite phrases like "I would really like to be alone right now, please" or "I need a break," so she can express those same feelings she's having but in a more respectful way. 3 going on 4 is when children start to learn theory of mind, meaning they can conceive of the thoughts, feelings, and desires of others as different from their own. So within the next year or so, with your help, she's going to be able to sort out how to let a friend down easy and how to stop a bully in her tracks. It's a process, and it's proper for you as her parent to be an active part of that learning. Links! Kendra Cherry for VeryWell Mind: How the Theory of Mind Helps Us Understand Others Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it possible to be your full, authentic self as a woman and mother without fear of failure or judgment from others? In her new memoir STASH, Laura Cathcart Robbins discusses her experiences confronting and moving through her own addiction, and how it intersects with her identity as a mother and a woman of color. Laura Cathcart Robbins is also the host of the popular podcast, The Only One In The Room. In this interview, Laura and Margaret discuss: Laura's journey through addiction and treatment while being a mother What it means to live authentically as a mother How our identities inform our choices Here's where you can find Laura: https://theonlyonepod.com IG: @lauracathcartrobbins, @theonlyoneintheroom TikTok: @mscathcartrobbins, @theonlyonepod Buy Laura's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668005330 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you lost touch with mom friends since the pandemic? Do you feel that after so much isolation you don't even know how to make friends anymore? In this episode, we talk about how the last few years have changed our friendships, what's gotten harder, and why we're motivated to deepen those relationships again. Amy and Margaret discuss: The "decreased social stamina" many of us feel Why spontaneity seems to have gone out the window How knowing that just about everyone feels this way can really help LINKS: Fresh Take: Mara Glatzel on Being "Needy" Fresh Take: Kat Vellos On Friendship and Connection Vanessa Dueck for Medium: Post-Pandemic Mom Friends Catherine Pearson for HuffPost: Moms Have Held Everything Together This Past Year, Except Their Friendships Morgan Hill for Raising Teens Today: Raising Teens Can Be Lonely Amil Niazi for The Cut: Does Anyone Want to Hear About Burned-Out Moms Anymore? Check out our bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/whatfreshhellcast "The Mind" game We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we have a child who chooses to withdraw and "not talk about it," rather than unpack his disappointment, is that a reason for concern? This week's question comes from our Facebook group: When my seven year old gets upset, he refuses to talk to us even to describe the event that led to his reaction. He seems to prefer to process things internally. And so his immediate reaction is to shut down and say, I don't want to talk. My spouse and I have both made a strong and conscious effort to validate his feelings and to be open and available for the times he does want to talk, but more often than not, my son just prefers to bury the experience and move on without talking about it. Sometimes this means him concluding after one bad experience that an activity is horrible and he will never try it again. Therapy is probably a direction we are heading in. But do you think we should start with the school social worker? Some kids, like some adults, are more emotionally expressive than others. That a 7-year-old processes internally is not necessarily a bad thing. It really depends on the intensity of the precipitating events, their frequency, plus how often you see these reactions from your child. If your kid is spending half his time at home in tears, then you do need to encourage opening up. As parents, the best approach may be to talk, in his presence, about the things that you and your spouse do to move past disappointment and hurt feelings. You don't need to draw a direct line from your own experiences to what you're asking your son to do in order for the point to come across. While frustration tolerance is something you might need to work on with your child, it's probably not something to be deeply concerned about at this stage. Keep an eye on it, push back against it, and over time you will hopefully see some growth in these areas. Special thanks to our sponsor: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Once we know what anti-fat bias is, it's easy to see it everywhere: in our schools, our doctors' offices, even in our own parenting. Virginia Sole-Smith, author of the new book Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture, explains the perniciousness of anti-fat bias and how we can start to move away from its toxic messages. Virginia Sole-Smith is also the author of The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image and Guilt in America. Virginia's reporting on diet culture, health and parenting has appeared in the New York Times, Scientific American, and many other publications. Virginia also writes the popular anti-diet newsletter Burnt Toast and hosts the Burnt Toast Podcast. Virginia, Amy, and Margaret discuss: What anti-fat bias really is— and why it's everywhere How anti-fat bias shows up in parenting How we can identify and navigate anti-fat bias as people and as parents Here's where you can find Virginia: virginiasolesmith.substack.com @v_solesmith on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok Burnt Toast Podcast Buy Virginia's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250831217 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked our listeners: what would be better if it were just a little bit different? Margaret's ideas include a network consisting solely of TV shows that you only need to pay half attention to. Amy advocates for magical cash dispersal from your phone. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss these and our listeners' top ideas, including LEGO vacuums properly-sized ketchup packets hand-dryers that don't hurt your ears Read the entire thread in our Facebook group! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when our house is filling up with plastic toys from Happy Meals and goody bags that just make cleanup and attempts at organization SO much worse? Margaret explains how "benevolent dictatorship" helps her navigate this issue at her house. Garbage starts at the door, Margaret explains. She tries to stop things she doesn't want in the house from coming in in the first place and expressing this (gently) to her kids. It's also perfectly okay to throw away these things and NOT involve kids in the decision-making, which only makes for tears. Margaret says that in a whole decade of this approach, her kids have noticed the absence of this "junk" maybe twice. Listen to KC Davis's podcast Struggle Care We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do the "momfluencers" who post perfect pictures of their crisply dressed children in lavender fields hold such a sway over us, and what can we do about it? Sara Petersen, author of the new book Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture, gives us a glimpse into what makes mommy influencer culture so seductive. Sara Petersen also writes the newsletter In Pursuit of Clean Countertops, where she explores the cult of ideal motherhood. Amy and Sara discuss: What exactly a momfluencer is How parasocial relationships can backfire on momfluencers The benefits of momfluencers on social media It's natural to want external validation that we're "good" mothers by collecting likes of our carefully staged pictures on social media. In addition to simply logging off Instagram for awhile, it's good to check in with yourself about what you really value as a mom versus what you feel pressured to perform for others, and that could save you a really stressful trip to a blueberry patch. Here's where you can find Sara: Twitter and Instagram: @slouisepetersen In Pursuit of Clean Countertops: https:///sarapetersen.substack.com/about Buy Sara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780807006634 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

50% of preadolescent girls and 30% of boys report disliking their bodies. Those numbers go up in adults— 60% of women and 40% of men report the same dissatisfaction. How do we help our kids when they struggle with their body images—especially when some of those struggles are our own? Especially when unrealistic images of bodies are everywhere on social media? Especially when dieting and weight loss are normalized, along with the assumption that all of us would change something about our appearances if we could? We may not be able to fix the messaging that surrounds us and our kids, but there are ways we can start to subvert it. In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: why body image issues and eating disorders are related but separate issues how "media internalization" makes things worse why TikTok's "body positivity" movement isn't the perfect answer, either Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Susan Cowden for VeryWell Mind: "Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders" Lauren Muhlheim for VeryWell Mind: "The Connection Between Body Image and Eating Disorders" Bobbie Eisenstock, Ph.D: "Media and Your Body Image: What You Need to Know" Jean M. Twenge for The Atlantic: "Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?" Jill Di Donato for HuffPost: "Gen Z Has A Body Positivity Problem, And It's Lurking On TikTok" Quittkat Hannah, et; al: Body dissatisfaction, importance of appearance, and body appreciation in men and women over the lifespan We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we get kids to view saying "sorry" as more than a get-out-of-jail-free card? This week's question comes from our Facebook page: I have 5-year-old and 2-year-old boys. My question: how do you help kids around 5 years old understand the meaning of "sorry"? My son will do something wrong– and know it’s wrong before he does it– then immediately say he’s sorry. I try to give him a punishment to help him understand what he did was wrong, but he will still do the action again, then say, “Well, I said I was sorry." How do I help him understand the meaning of being sorry so he won’t do the action again? Not all kids are great at apologies. And grownups sometimes go at this the wrong way too, overemphasizing a perfunctory, mumbled "sorry" from the wrongdoer and then moving on. "That's where the conversation ends," says writer Rachael Rifkin in Today's Parents, "with little if any discussion of what happened, why it was hurtful to the person they’re apologizing to, how they can address the hurt they caused, and what they can do to change their behavior." When it comes to apologies, elementary school teacher JoEllen Poon has a great 3-step approach that hits all the key points. Help your child complete these three sentences: 1)I’m sorry for... 2) This is wrong because... 3) In the future I will... A 5-year-old will need some help with this at first, of course. But keep at it and he'll start to really understand what Daniel Tiger said best: saying "sorry" is only the first step. Special thanks to our sponsor: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we maintain connection with our kids when they're busy slamming doors or talking back to us and we are all sick and tired of each other? Dr. Tish Taylor, author of "Fostering Connection," gives us some tips for diagnosing and troubleshooting problematic elements in our relationships with our kids. Dr. Tish Taylor is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in the greater Kansas City area. She has an established practice specializing in clinical assessment and the mental health treatment of children and teens. Margaret and Dr. Taylor discuss: The difference between disconnection with teens and natural cleaving from us as they age How to start to address disconnection with our kids, and why quantifying interactions works Dr. Taylor's "Who's Showing Up" system Here's where you can find Dr. Taylor: Tish Holub Taylor, Ph.D. on Facebook @TishTaylorPhD on Twitter Buy Dr. Taylor's book We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This "best of" episode explores the trap we all fall into of thinking that every day with our kids has to contain a “snow globe moment" - a social media-worthy image of perfect joy for our entire family. And even if part of us knows that’s not realistic, another part of us thinks that it’s all supposed to be fun. That there must be something wrong with us if we don’t love every single moment of our chaotic lives with little ones. But once we kick that shame to the curb, there really are ways to make our lives as parents more fun and lighthearted. Even on a regular Tuesday. In this episode, we discuss: How we can be lighthearted, even when things aren’t fun How we can have fun even when things aren’t easy How we can have fun even when our kids definitely aren’t Our basic takeaway: parenting definitely gets a little more fun as our kids get a little bit easier… and by “easier,” we mean “not throwing themselves into mortal danger every ninety seconds because they don’t know any better.” The first step to having more fun may simply be to wish that it were so. As motivational speaker Danielle LaPorte explains: “Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have." Links! Gretchen Rubin: "How to Be Happier: Ten Tips for Being a More Light-Hearted Parent." We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we convince our kids that getting all of the newest toys isn't the most important thing in life while also respecting their enthusiasm for their various obsessions? A member of our Facebook group asks: "What do you do with a kid who wants ALL the toys? I've got a second grader who insists his friends' parents buy all the Pokémon cards and my husband and I are the worse because we refuse to buy every single thing he asks for. He's got a pile full of Pokémon cards but they're not the cool ones, I guess? We're not going to change our buying habits, but how do we talk about this with him?" Margaret explains that you can affirm your child's obsession with Pokémon or Fortnite to make them feel heard while also not giving in to their every whim around it. Margaret developed a shorthand with her son for the feeling of wanting things obsessively - the 'grabby greedies.' Naming it obviously didn't completely solve the problem, but having language around it helps keep the conversation going. Setting up an allowance/chore system can be helpful, e.g., "If you clean your room and feed the dog every day this week, you can have x." Because kids have so little control over most aspects of their life, giving them some agency around things that really matter to them can be helpful. After all, one day, they WILL be making these decisions for themselves, and so the more they can practice making smart decisions with their own money, the better. Special thanks to our sponsor: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if we're looking at autism in the wrong way? Dr. Lynn Koegel, co-author of Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism, explains how to engage with the strengths in kids with autism rather than focusing on what they're lacking. Dr. Lynn Koegel is a clinical professor at the Stanford School of Medicine. She and her husband developed Pivotal Response Treatment which focuses on motivation. She has been supporting autistic individuals for more than 40 years. Dr. Koegel and Margaret discuss: Why we're focusing on the wrong things when we assess kids with autism The power of peer support Connecting authentically with kids with autism Dr. Koegel explains that professionals are often trained to look at what's "wrong" with children with autism rather than what's right. It helps to look at the differences in children with autism, as Margaret likes to say, as morally neutral. Here's where you can find Lynn: autismPRThelp.com @lynn.koegel on Facebook hidden-brilliance.org We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our kids reach a certain age—as young as eight, some experts say, and definitely well before thirteen— they suddenly don't think their parents are as great as they once did. Congratulations, you're officially the parent of a tween! This week we're talking about what tweens are going through emotionally and psychologically... and how we can give them room to grow while still seizing opportunities to connect with them as (big) children. Margaret and Amy discuss: The cognitive shifts that happens in tweens' brains Why the ways we relate to our tweens has to change along with them Why "not taking it personally" is, and isn't, the right advice We may feel the urge to defend our actions or intentions to our tweens when they spar with us, but we don't actually have to get down "in the mud" with our kids whenever they push our buttons. Links! Michelle Anthony for Scholastic Parents: Cognitive Development in 11-13 Year Olds John Mersch, MD for Medicine Net: Tween: Child Development (9-11 Years Old) Here’s our interview with Katie Hurley, author of No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls. Our "Fresh Take" interview with Dr. Becky Kennedy on being "Good Inside" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Should we avoid talking about our children when spending time with friends who are having difficulty conceiving? A member of our Facebook group asks: "I’m having lunch with a lifelong friend who I don’t see or talk to frequently. I do know that she recently started IVF. My life is currently extremely overwhelmed because I have 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 year-olds that I was fortunate enough to conceive very quickly. How do I support her and also talk about my life, without seeming like I’m complaining about what she wants so badly? I’ve never been nervous to see her in my life and I just feel like I’m going to indirectly hurt her feelings in some way." Your friend can both be sad about her difficulty conceiving children and excited to hear about yours. The best thing you can do, Amy explains, is to be open with your friend - explain that you want to respect her feelings about the situation and be there for her. She may cry, and that's ok, because it means both that she's letting out her feelings and that she feels you're a safe space to have those feelings. Once you talk about the elephant in the room, you can have a wonderful visit where you both talk about and receive support for whatever you're going through right now. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From playing the "Newman" character on multiple sitcoms to keeping the Steve Harvey show audience off hard drugs, Amy and Margaret have had some wild times in the business we call show. In this month's bonus episode, they tell some of their juiciest tales. To listen to the full episode, you can subscribe to What Fresh Hell Plus at http://whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm/ for $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Get monthly bonus episodes and all of our content ad-free! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does it feel like our career and our family are pulling us in different directions and making it hard to be fully present in both arenas? In her book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much). Dr. Yael Schonbrun explains how we can move from a zero-sum mindset to a life in which our work life and our family life are enable to enrich each other. Yael Schonbrun is also the co-host of the "Psychologists Off the Clock" podcast, an assistant professor at Brown University, and a mother of three little comedians. In this "Best Of" interview Yael and Amy discuss: Why the guilt that often accompanies parenting is hard-wired into us What values clarification looks like Why starting a "stop doing" list can be surprisingly helpful Here's where you can find Yael: Twitter: @DrYaelSchonbrun #WorkParentThrive Buy Yael's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781611809657 Links! Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on how to manage anxiety We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. There are certain phrases that many of us pepper our conversation without a second thought, never pausing to think that we might be working the listener's very last nerve. We have quite a few phrases we'd love to never ever hear again, and our listeners brought a lot more. In this episode we make the humble request that phrases like "at the end of the day" and "fur babies" be permanently retired from the lexicon. Is that too much to ask? We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you keep your very active kids safe when they constantly want to roughhouse with each other? Someone in our Facebook group asks: Boy moms… help! The fighting, the yelling, the running, hitting, jumping, climbing…I have a 4.5yo and a 3 yo… Any advice or tips? We separate them to different levels when it gets out of hand. Or we say any running needs to happen outside, but it’s difficult to execute when I’m home alone (which is often). How do you all handle it? Margaret, who has two boys of her own who love roughhousing, explains the house rules around the "sport" that work for her family. There are actually a lot of benefits to letting kids roughhouse with each other once there are certain safety parameters in place. It gives kids the joy of physical touch, the opportunity to explore and set boundaries, and the benefit (for you!) of tiring them out! You may find that MORE, not less, roughhousing is just the ticket for your active kids! Here are links to the resources Margaret references: Jessica Wozinsky Fleming for The Washington Post: "Why roughhousing is good for kids, and how to keep it safe" Big Body Play by Frances M. Carlson The Art of Roughhousing: Good Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It by Anthony T. DeBenedet and Lawrence J. Cohen Ignore It!: How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction by Catherine Pearlman Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If someone asked you "What do you need right now?" would you even be able to articulate it? In her new book NEEDY: How To Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty, intuitive coach Mara Glatzel lays out a roadmap for how to ascertain our needs as human beings, how to ask for it, and how to be comfortable with receiving it. Mara's work helps humans stop abandoning themselves and start reclaiming their humanity through embracing their needs and honoring their natural energy rhythms. In this episode, Mara and Amy discuss: The societal pressure to be perfect and need-free as mothers The difference between a "want" and a "need" and how they intersect Why it's uncomfortable both to ask for what we need and to finally receive it Mara argues that the more in tune we are with our own needs, the more we are able to peacefully coexist with others and form authentic relationships. Here's where you can find Mara: https://www.maraglatzel.com/ on her own podcast, "Needy." Here is the link to Mara's free quiz to help you identify what you need and receive all of her best resources and supportive micro-practices. Buy Mara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683649847 @maraglatzel on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Instagram account @mindfulmadre recently went viral with this post: "We are becoming less tolerant of the pace of childhood. In a million ways we tell children: hurry up. Grow up. You are already behind." Sometimes we rush our kids because we're rushing ourselves—or because we fear our kids will fall behind if they don't keep up with the increasing demands the world has of children, even very small ones. But who decided that precocious preschoolers are really what we should be aiming for? What are the costs to rushing children? Are there small daily ways in which we can let kids do their own thing at their own paces? In this episode we discuss: how a "daily context of stress" affects developing brains whether small pushbacks are enough, or at least better than nothing the moments when we've let our kids move at their own paces—even (especially) at Disney World Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Laura Markham for Psychology Today: 11 Reasons to Stop Rushing Through Life Alison Gopnik for The WSJ: What Children Lose When Their Brains Develop Too Fast Kim John Payne: SIMPLICITY PARENTING and these past episodes of our own: "Fresh Take: Michaeleen Doucleff on Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans" "Pushing Kids the Just-Right Amount" "Fresh Take: Katherine May on Enchantment" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is your child who seemingly overreacts to ever minor scrape and bruise really suffering, or are they just looking for some extra attention? Amy explains what could be behind this behavior and how to address it constructively. A listener in our FB group says: "I have a 5 year old boy who cries wolf. He's constantly crying as if he broke a bone or has been severely injured after minor bumps and falls. It's gotten so frustrating that I've stopped responding altogether. Has anyone had a kid like this? What did you do/find helpful?" Amy explains that it's important to contextualize your child's emotionality. When during the day are they acting out - when they're tired and rundown or when they're well-rested? Are they truly experiencing a sensory overload because they have a naturally sensitive nervous system? Are they easily redirected when you offer distractions like a snack or a show? You can't ignore or diminish the sensitivity out of your kid, but when navigating this issue, it helps to frame your child's reactions as coming from an authentic place that warrants investigation, rather than a devious one that warrants suspicion. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm. Raising a child with a disability is complicated, especially when you're navigating an ableist world on their behalf. Beth Leipholtz is an inclusion and accessibility advocate who believes in creating a more accepting world for our children. As the hearing mother of a deaf child, Beth is raising her son, Coop, bilingually in both hearing and Deaf cultures. Beth shares her parenting journey on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram @bethandcoop, where she has built a community of more than 1 million people around disability inclusion. Beth's new new children's book is THE ABCs OF INCLUSION. Beth, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Beth's experience learning about and processing Coop's disability Learning ASL as a hearing person Why she decided to share her experience on social media and become an advocate for inclusion. Encouraging your kids to ask questions about other people's differences - and letting those people lead the conversation - is one of the best ways to teach them that everyone has value no matter who they are and what they can do. Here's where you can find Beth: https://bethandcoop.com/ @bethandcoop on IG, Tiktok, and Youtube THE ABCs OF INCLUSION: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781634895965 In this episode Beth mentions the "Welcome to Holland" poem by Emily Perl Kingsley We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Flat tire? Mismatched kids' socks? Lost luggage? Here's part two of our listeners' minor, life-changing tips that might just make some aspect of your life much easier from now on. Margaret and Amy discuss: Tasks you should delegate to your butler How to fit all that stuff you need in your glove compartment Margaret's next birthday present from Amy We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever had a child bolt from you in a parking lot or at preschool drop-off, you know it can be a scary experience. Today's question comes from email (questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com): I am a mother of 4-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. In the past six months my daughter has been running out to the car, not listening to me when I ask her to walk with me or when I say "stop." I'm always asking both my kids to "stop" and "come back." It became almost a dangerous situation for us just yesterday when my daughter just kept running through the parking lot during school pickup. She thought it was a game and began giggling when I yelled "Come back!" I was partly terrified and partly so angry. I love my kids to the moon and back, and I know part of this is four-year-old boundary-testing, but my job as a parent is to keep them safe. How can I teach and motivate my kids to walk with me and not to run ahead? Sometimes when we are reactive to our kids' behavior – like when we yell out because we are terrified of them running into the street – they find it hilarious. The solution? Find a special word that you can use calmly in these situations. Margaret offers the example "red light." In a calmer moment, explain to your child that running away is dangerous and against the rules. Tell them that you have a special word like "red light," and when they hear "red light" they must freeze. They are not allowed to move again without your permission. Practice this, and remind them when heading anywhere that you expect them to stay still if you say it. Then when your child takes off, say "red light," and try to keep the emotion out of it, which can be tough. Then, if the child keeps running it is time for immediate consequences, whether that means returning to the car to "try again," or leaving the activity altogether. A few stern and consistent "red light" reminders should make a big difference in your child's behavior. Check out this article by Corinna Vangerwen for Today's Parent: 5 ways to get your preschooler to stop running away from you Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when it seems like there's nothing new or wondrous in the world for us to enjoy and feel deeply connected to? Katherine May, author of the new book ENCHANTMENT: AWAKENING WONDER IN AN ANXIOUS AGE. tells us about her own journey of rediscovering the world and her own sense of wonder. Katherine May is the author of the New York Times bestseller WINTERING: THE POWER OF REST AND RETREAT IN DIFFICULT TIMES, which has been translated into 25 languages. Katherine, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Why we're all suffering from a "pandemic hangover" How to make space for reflection and worship in today's world Why you can't force enchantment (and how your enchantment may vary) Flaco the escaped owl Here's where you can find Katherine: Buy ENCHANTMENT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593329993 Katherine's newsletter: https://katherinemay.substack.com/ Katherine's podcast: https://katherine-may.co.uk/podcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women? We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: The sexism and etymology of the word "nag" What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess whom it's also annoying, too?) Links! Jessica Zhang on LinkedIn: "What's In a Nag?" Episode from If Books Could Kill podcast: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" McClelland, T., & Sliwa, P: "Gendered affordance perception and unequal domestic labour." Our episode with Lynyetta Willis on "Stable Misery" Our episode with Eve Rodsky on "Changing the Invisible Workload" Anne Helen Petersen's newsletter Culture Study Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the postpartum support you're getting actually more harmful than helpful? Here's how to ask for what you really need in the days and weeks after birth. A listener wrote in to ask: Has anyone found that 'more is not more' when it comes to help/house guests with a newborn? My in-laws have been here for a week (my newborn is two weeks old) and I'm finding it all more annoying and inconvenient than helpful to have "extra sets of hands." I also feel like I'm exiled to the bedroom for all breastfeeding and just in general, because I can't handle the constant interaction and endless questions about what I'm doing, where I'm going, what I'm looking for in my own kitchen every time I wander into a common area. I know my in-laws have the best of intentions and I feel in some ways I should be grateful for the extra help and grateful my son has such loving grandparents who want to spend time with him - but I'm just overwhelmed with resentment at the moment and taking it out on my husband for indirectly facilitating this scenario. Am I just being crazy and ungrateful? As a new mom, YOU get to decide who's living with you and when! If at all! The first weeks of a newborn's life are for brief visits that don't interfere with routines or make things harder for the new parents. If your in-laws or family are smothering you, you are perfectly within your rights to ask them to leave (if they are staying) or to give you and your partner a little breathing room. Once your baby is older, you'll most likely welcome the help and social interaction from relatives, but for now, it's perfectly ok to just focus on recovering from birth and bonding with your nuclear family. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we know when our anxiety as parents is warranted and when we're catastrophizing? Dr. Dana Dorfman, author of the new book When Worry Works: How to Harness Your Parenting Stress and Guide Your Teen to Success. gives us a framework for channeling our anxiety into something productive rather than something that hampers us. Dr. Dana Dorfman is a New York City-based psychotherapist with 30 years' experience treating adolescents and parents in her private practice, schools, and agency settings. In this interview she explains Why anxiety is actually advantageous How to contain our teen's anxiety without absorbing it Cognitive distortions Knowing your values is key to managing anxiety - what are the three or four core principles that guide everything you do? In a non-anxious moment, reflect on those values, and then use them as your guiding star for parenting decisions - rather than fears you may have about your children's future or current wellbeing. Here's where you can find Dr. Dorfman: https://drdanadorfman.com/ @drdanadorfman on IG Dr. Dana Dorfman on FB Dana Dorfman, PhD on LinkedIn Buy Dr. Dorfman's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781538164532 Take Dana's anxiety type reaction quiz! Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From avoiding shuttles, to separate inside pants and outside pants, to always ordering a different meal than your dining companion, we reviewed - and sometimes eschewed - our listeners quirkiest quirks. Amy and Margaret discuss: Nanking Chicken Merging onto the GWB Whose husband can fall asleep the fastest Read the rest of our listeners' quirkiest personal rules on our FB group page! Now you can Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast! You'll get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes no matter where you listen. What Fresh Hell + is $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Subscribe in two taps! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener asked: "How do I respond when my child gets upset about something during a playdate and they are dealing with their own feelings and end up ignoring their friend?" Margaret explains that as mortifying as this may be from our perspective when our kid acts out at a playdate or other event, we've all had this happen to us, because kids are kids. Once there's a blowup, an immediate and completely smooth reset is probably not possible. The best you can do is let your kid cool off by themselves and check in with them every few minutes about possibly rejoining the others. Check in with your kid's guest to make sure they can keep playing happily. And if your kid feels bad about how they acted after the fact, it's okay to confirm that and help them sit with the discomfort of how their bad choices affected everyone else. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we find support when our family of origin is no longer around or has otherwise rejected us? Francesca Royster, author of the new memoir Choosing Family: A Memoir of Queer Motherhood and Black Resistance, explains the concepts of chosen family, finding joy in the everyday, and the resistance that is part of telling hard stories. Margaret and Francesca discuss: What inspired Francesca to write her memoir What it's like to enter motherhood at an older age The process of adopting her daughter Taking pleasure in the reality of everyday life can really help you connect with loved ones in your family, chosen or blood-related. And telling stories about hardship and tragedy can actually help us gain perspective and have more hope about the world, not less. Here's where you can find Francesca: Her faculty page on the DePaul University website @roysterfrancesca on IG @francesca.royster.1 on FB Buy Francesca's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781419756177 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This month we are reaching back into our brain archives for the worst, best, and jobbiest jobs we've ever had! To listen to the full episode, you can subscribe to What Fresh Hell Plus at http://whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm/ for $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Get monthly bonus episodes and all of our content ad-free! Topics include: Petty cash BJ McKay and his best friend, Bear Baskin-Robbins flavors How to thank a waitress (money - it's money.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a stay-at-home parent, how do you answer to the people who frequently– and annoyingly– ask, "So, what do you do all day?" A listener in our Facebook group posted? "During Covid, I quit my job and I’ve been home. I drive my kids to school, work out, and manage the house and family. I’m very happy and fulfilled, especially knowing that my eldest will be leaving for college soon, I’m soaking up this time. My problem is trying to explain this to others. I have a good college degree and worked in a decent field before I quit. I guess I feel pressure to work and use my skills. One well-intentioned retired woman at my gym was actually trying to figure out how I can not drive my kids to school so that I could go back to work. I’ve even considered lying and saying I work part time at home to get people off my case." A pre-pandemic Gallup analysis 60,000 women in the U.S. revealed that more than a quarter of SAHMs report feeling depressed. The researchers suggested that “societal recognition of the difficult job stay-at-home mothers have raising children would perhaps help support them emotionally.” Don't stay up waiting for that to happen. America’s mothers have continued to say that society is not supporting them. Do we just decide not to let these misperceptions of stay-at-home parenthood bother us? Do we fight back, bring lists, demand the respect that our hard work deserves? Will that get us anywhere? Links: Our episode with Laura Vanderkam on time management for moms Laura's piece: "The working stay-at-home mom" Motherly’s 2022 State of Motherhood Survey Report Consider This on NPR: The Great Resignation: Why People Are Leaving Their Jobs In Growing Numbers Gallup: Stay-at-Home Moms Report More Depression, Sadness, Anger Emily Glover for Motherly: It’s harder than ever before for families to get by on a single income Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z  Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Care.com is where you can find the help you need to make it all work for your family. Sign up at Care.com/book now and see why over 3 million families use this amazing platform. EveryPlate plans meals and delivers pre-portioned ingredients right to your door. Get started for just $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and entering code wfh149. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod60 and use code wfhpod60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. LuvBug is the world’s first socio-emotional gaming platform. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the app store and subscribe. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we know when to control the choices our teens make and when to let them make their own mistakes? A listener asked: "Moms of teenagers, how do you stop trying to micromanage their worlds? My daughter is no longer interested in an extracurricular activity she’s done for years. I'm trying to talk her into continuing but she’s pushing back. It’s hard to know when it’s okay to let them decide what things they want to do as opposed to the things you think are good for them to do." Amy explains that it's okay to micromanage your teens sometimes, as long as you choose your battles– which means everything can't be a battle. Making sure kids sign up for standardized testing might be a place where you micromanage– but that might also mean letting that their desperate need for a haircut go without mention. Making mistakes and learning from them is part of the work of becoming an adult. As hard as it can be to watch our kids make choices with which we might disagree, when we can let those ramifications play out, we're helping our teens grow. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a mental health crisis among teens. Teens are also highly emotional creatures by design. Adolescent psycholost Dr. Lisa Damour thinks the two are starting to get conflated– and that means parents and educators can sometimes overcorrect in their responses to teens' emotional outbursts. Dr. Lisa Damour co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast and writes about adolescents for the The New York Times, in addition to her clinical practice. She is the author of two New York Times bestsellers: Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Dr. Lisa's latest book is called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents. In this interview Amy and Lisa discuss: Why good sleep is the first thing we need to help dysregulated teens solve What the pandemic actually revealed about teens' mental health Key myths and misconceptions about adolescent emotions Dr. Lisa says that we– and our teenagers– can gain much by asking if the strong emotion a teen may be feeling is uncomfortable or unmanageable. If it's uncomfortable, learning to sit with that is part of the process of healthy emotional maturation. Here's where you can find Lisa: our previous interview with Dr. Lisa https://drlisadamour.com/ @lisa.damour on IG https://www.facebook.com/lisadamourphd Buy Lisa's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593500019 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked our listeners what minor and yet life-changing advice they have to offer. From bringing Sharpies everywhere, to cleaning the shower in the shower, to milkshakes after doctors' appointments, our lives just got a whole lot better! Margaret and Amy discuss: The correct way to boil corn What really goes in the glove compartment (not gloves) Amy's meet-cute with her husband "Let's Make a Deal" Links! "Bag o' Glass" on SNL Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener asks: "Has anyone had success in helping their kids becoming ”better” at losing? Sports, board games, even school work…anything that they get frustrated with, it is to an extreme degree. I have three boys ages 7, 5 and 4 and they all do the same things—always throwing a huge tantrum." Margaret explains that it's important to have a good offense in situations like these. Don't try and reason with your kid right after they've suffered a loss and lecture them on Buddhist philosophies of nonattachment. Talk to your kid before the game/event about what is important in these situations, like being a good teammate and practicing in order to get better at something. Links! Cleveland Clinic: "Sore Loser? How to Help Your Child Handle Disappointment" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $3.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Psychologist Susan Linn, author of WHO'S RAISING THE KIDS? BIG TECH, BIG BUSINESS, AND THE LIVES OF CHILDREN, isn't anti-technology. She's anti-advertising to children, and has spent her long career spotlighting the "monumental shift towards a digitized-commercialized childhood." With smart speakers and screens at arms' reach wherever kids go, digital technologies continue to evolve much faster than our understanding of the ramifications of their dominance in our kids' lives. Susan began her career as award-winning ventriloquist (here she is on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood!) and has become a world-renowned expert on creative play and the impact of media and commercial marketing on children. In this episode, Susan tells us Why her point isn't to make parents feel guilty Why the best kinds of toys for children do very little How branding can creep in where we sometimes don't even perceive it What we can do to set parameters on the commercializing of our own kids' lives Here's where you can find Susan: Twitter: @drsusanlinn susanlinn.net fairplayforkids.org Buy Susan's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781620972274 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you worry about finding the balance between forcing your kid to keep doing activities that are good for them (that you already paid for) and not letting them be miserable all the time? How do you keep them on track academically without having to run flashcards with them about the Peloponnesian War for the billionth time? Here's what the research says about when to push our kids - and when to let sleeping (Peloponnesian) dogs lie. A listener in our Facebook group asks: "How do you decide when to push your kids? Like when to go from YMCA basketball to the travel team. Or when to go from regular school to the accelerated program, or the private school that's more rigorous. When to apply for the stretch school or the internship? We don't want to ruin hobbies or turn the stress up to 11, obviously. So how do you know which knob to turn and when to turn it so that their ambition, their ability, and their achievement all line up in perfect balance and harmony?" Amy and Margaret discuss: The “optimal push” and how it's different from over-parenting Achievement-by-proxy distortion (sing out, Louise!) The factors to consider when pushing your child to do something Ultimately, kids are optimally supported when they believe their parents’ love is not performance-contingent. The answer lies in helping them fulfill their potential without damaging their self-esteem. LINKS! Amy Wilson for New York Family: Finding the Optimal Push Our episode "How Not To Live Through Our Kids" Dr. Eddie Brummelman et al: My Child Redeems My Broken Dreams: On Parents Transferring Their Unfulfilled Ambitions onto Their Child Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there anything worse? Your kid is begging for a playdate at a friend's house, while that friend is standing right there listening. Plus that kid's mother. And the thing is, you think this other kid is not such a good friend for your child to have. What do you do? A listener in our Facebook group asks: "My kid is 7 years old. Has anyone ever experienced your child making a friend but you don’t feel comfortable with your child going over to their house solo for play dates? Any advice for how to navigate and what to say when your child is invited over? What if you got a chance to know the parent meeting at the park or a school event or sports but you didn’t get the vibe that you’d be comfortable with your child going over there— but you see them all the time and talk to the mom often and the kids beg for play dates in front of both parents?" Amy suggests preparing a script ahead of time for politely declining in the moment and then exploring later what it is that's making you hesitant about this playdate. Is it the parents? The kid him/herself? Do you have anxiety about your kid playing at anyone's house, or just this kid? Sit with the discomfort and try to determine its root cause. Then go with your gut, while remaining open to receiving more information about the friend (or the friendship) later on that just might change your mind. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're parent of a child with ADHD, you are familiar with the battles of will that can result. What are the best ways to help kids with ADHD succeed without either coddling them or coming down too hard on them? Are you the parent of a child with ADHD who feels like nothing you try is working? Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the "ADHD Dude," is here to help. Ryan, a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD, creates content for the ADHDude YouTube channel and ADDitude Magazine. Ryan also provides parent training, in-person school-year programs, and a summer camp for boys. Ryan, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to talk to kids with siblings who have ADHD Why behavior prompts actually don't help long-term How to use scaffolding to build important skills for kids Firm boundaries and consistency, rather than permissive parenting or special treatment, are going to help kids with ADHD more in the long-run, Ryan explains. Helping kids visualize the consequences of their actions– whether those kids have ADHD or not– is a good first step. Here's where you can find Ryan: @adhddude on YouTube @theadhddude on Instagram @adhddude.ryanwexelblatt on Facebook www.adhddude.com Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like the odd parent out in your house? Or do your kids want only you to do everything with them all the time? A listener in our Facebook group asked: "Is there an episode about one parent having a very different relationship with a child than the other parent? My 12yo and I seem to have a pretty functional (not perfect) relationship, but he and my hubs seem to end up arguing constantly. Thought at first it was a phase, but if it is, it’s a LOOOOONG one. Would love some perspective on this!" Margaret and Amy discuss: How preferential treatment plays out in younger vs. older kids Why kids save their worst behavior for their primary caregiver Which one of them is conflict-averse and who's conflict-attracted (one guess which is which) Preferring one parent over the other can be developmentally appropriate, but there are times when ganging up on one parent can become too much and needs some course correction. Links! Our episode "When Kids Prefer the Other Parent Over You (Or You Over Them)" Ryan C. Martin for McSweeney's: "GOOD PARENTS CAPITALIZE ON THEIR INDIVIDUAL STRENGTHS. MY WIFE’S IS SEEING TO OUR KIDS’ EVERY NEED, AND MINE IS ROUGHHOUSING" Marni Feuerman for VeryWell Family: "How to Cope With Parenting Differences" Mariah Maddox for Motherly: "If your kids act differently with you than dad, you’re not imagining it" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the never-ending work and exhaustion and loneliness of parenting small children getting to you? You're not alone– but better days are coming. Jordyn in our Facebook group asks: "I have a three-year-old and 9-month-old. Is it normal to feel lonely all the time? Feel somewhat bored and left out? Feel like a non person? From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, I'm DOING for the kids, for the house, for the job, for the husband. I know I'm supposed to make time for myself but when? Wake up at 4am after being up with my baby all night? Will I ever go back to a human person? Or now that I have two kids, should I settle into this new normal? How long? 5 years? 10? I'm so anxious to feel well rested, feel pretty, feel healthy, be social and ENJOY my kids. I'm so tired." Margaret explains that once your kids go to school full time, your life changes for the better. Even if it feels like there's no end in sight to putting your kids' needs first every single second, there will come a day when you can leave the house sans kids with REAL pants and maybe even some earrings! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like you're at the end of your rope with trying to get your kids to behave? Jen Lumanlan takes us through the steps for getting at the root cause of our children's behavior - and the root cause of our negative reactions, too. Jen Lumanlan is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which Lifehacker named "Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast." She runs a course called Taming Your Triggers, which helps parents to understand why they feel triggered and to feel triggered less often. Jen holds a Master's in Psychology focused on Child Development and another in Education. Jen, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to determine your child's most frequent needs (and when to do it) Where hair ties come into the picture The importance of non-cognitive shifts While inserting a "slip of paper" between our emotional response and our actions is important, the best thing we can do for ourselves and our kids is heal the reasons we are triggered by specific things in the first place. Here's where you can find Jen: @yourparentingmojo on FB/IG www.yourparentingmojo.com "Your Parenting Mojo" Podcast Links! 13 Reasons Your Child Doesn't Listen (And What To Do About Each One) cheat sheet: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/whatfreshhell Taming Your Triggers workshop: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers Our "Pattern Breaking" episode Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you already punishing yourself for breaking your impossibly difficult New Year's resolution? Yes, the one where you were going to eat 12 vegetables or run for 20 minutes or read an entire book every single day of 2023 (or do all three, for you masochists out there.) Here's how to work towards goals while remembering that so much of what we feel guilt over is actually morally neutral. In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss how a "back to one" is different from a resolution, and how viewing resets as inevitable, rather than deep personal failings, is a much more productive approach. Still working on the same resolution from last year? Of course you are! Always be resolving–to move forward without guilt over what you didn't do yesterday. LINKS! Melissa Kirsch for the NYT: "Broken Promises" Mick de Boer for Inside Out Mastery: "19 Mind-Blowing New Year’s Resolution Statistics" Our "Back to Ones" episode from 2022 Listen to the "Edit Your Life" podcast, the newest addition to the Adalyst Media network! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leaving your kids for the first time in, well, forever? Getting anxious about how saying farewell will fly? A listener wrote in to say: "My spouse and I are planning to leave our kids for the weekend for the first time (they're 6, 5, and 3). what's the best way to prepare them? 2 of my kids- yes, including the oldest- cry if I'm going out to dinner. We'll be leaving really early on Saturday morning- do I get them up to say goodbye? Is that a bad idea? How long beforehand do I tell them- or is this something best addressed at the last minute?" Rebranding your trip as a special time for your kids may help assuage some of the anxiety they may feel at your leaving. Ultimately, these short trips away are a good reminder for you and your kids that they can be without you and still have a good time! Links! Sorry, Grownups, You Can't Go to School by Christina Geist https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593480328 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Contrary to what social media would have us believe, not every hobby has to turn into a madly successful side-hustle that takes the world by storm. Margaret talks with Liz Gumbinner, co-host of the podcast "Spawned with Kristen and Liz," about why it's okay to just make really delicious cookies. Liz Gumbinner is a writer, award-winning ad agency creative director, and mom of teens. Online she’s better known as the publisher of coolmompicks.com and the author of the OG mom blog Mom-101. Her Substack newsletter, I’m Walking Here, looks at media, politics, and culture through a witty parenting lens. Liz and Margaret discuss why parenting itself has become another thing to "hustle" around, as well as the difference between ambition and "the hustle." It's great to spend a night with your family or friends without taking/posting any pics at all and just being present, says Liz. It gives you perspective on what's important in life and helps you refocus how you want to spend more of your time. Here's where you can find Liz: @mom101 on Twitter, IG, Mastodon, and Post.news "Spawned" podcast https://coolmompicks.com/ "I'm Walking Here" substack Links! Liz's post "648 words about my one-word resolution" Our episode with Eve Rodsky on Changing the Invisible Workload Our episode with Amber Thornton on Finding Real Balance The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin Margaret's episode on Spawned Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What oddities do you love that others might look askance at? Is it your magical singing rice cooker? The silence just before it snows? Terrible Ikea instructions? Amy and Margaret share their weird pleasures and chime in on some listener suggestions as well. Amy and Margaret discuss: 11:11 Why socks DON'T rock Neon signs Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you have more than one kid event in your calendar, how do you hit both– or choose one and live with your kid's disappointment? A listener in our Facebook group asks: "Moms with multiple children: how do you handle the anxiety, guilt, and disappointment when kids' activities overlap? I’m not talking about missing one of the bajillion 4th grade basketball games. I mean the once-a-year or even once-every-few-years very important events. How do you decide which child’s event is more important ? How do moms do this without feeling absolutely guilt-ridden and sad? It’s an impossible situation to be in and I’m feeling paralyzed." The most important thing you can do is talk about these issues as a group and problem-solve together. Can the parents split up the event duties? Can another relative, friend, or neighbor step in? If you're doing your best to make your kid feel supported, not just by you but by the other people in their tribe, then you can let yourself off the hook for not showing up to every single event - yes, even the important ones. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've all felt the guilt that comes with taking time away from our kids to do something we enjoy. But if we're always being told how liberating it is to do things for ourselves, why do we have such complicated feelings about? Dr. Amber Thornton tells us how we can successfully balance our lives both as women and as mothers. Dr. Amber Thornton is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Millennial Motherhood Wellness Coach. She is the Founder of Balanced Working Mama, with a mission to completely change the narrative of what is possible for millennial mothers by helping them to better balance work, motherhood, and wellness. She's also the host of the BALANCED WORKING MAMA podcast. Dr. Amber resides in Washington, D.C., with her husband and 2 little ones. Dr. Amber, Margaret, and Amy discuss: What it means to set a boundary successfully What's really behind mom guilt The perils of secondary expectations It's important to remember that our feelings about our situation don't necessarily reflect the reality that's happening around us. Our guilt about taking time for ourselves as mothers is a commentary on the society we live in, not our actual abilities as parents. Here's where you can find Amber: www.balancedworkingmama.com @dramberthornton on IG/FB/YT/TikTok @balancedworkingmama on IG Links! Joshua Ziesel for The Washington Post: "I wanted to be a better husband. So I planned my kid's birthday party." We discuss the steps that might be involved in undoing our roles as "default parents", a term created by blogger M. Blazoned in 2014. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do we do when the magic of the holiday season is behind us, spring is months away, and we have to keep kids busy for months more of cold weather until then? Melanie from our FB group wrote in to say: Can we talk about the transition out of the festive season and into plain ol' winter? We went all out celebrating this year with my kids (3 and 1) . Now things are going to be pretty quiet for the next couple of months. I'm a stay at home mom in a very rural area where January and February mean cold, ice and bad roads. Realistically, we're not going to be going as many places or seeing as many people. Even getting outside with two tiny kids is a big job. How can I help ease my 3yo back into her normal routine when I too tend to be susceptible to the winter blahs and burnout this time of year? I can feel the loneliness setting in. Does anyone else mind this time of year or is it just me? It's not just you. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why women are more susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and how it manifests Why nobody actually likes ALL of winter– and why that's okay What works to keep them going during these gray days From keeping up holiday lights a little longer to rebranding winter, our listeners gave some excellent suggestions for keeping the winter blues at bay - and keeping your kids entertained. LINKS! Our episode "How Are We Going to Keep These Kids Busy?" (March 2020) Roecklein, Kathryn A, and Kelly J Rohan: Seasonal affective disorder: an overview and update Hannah Seo for The New York Times: What to Know About Seasonal Depression Pandora Dewan for Newsweek: 'Like Purgatory': Why We Can Feel Uneasy After Christmas Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What should a parent do when their child is suddenly excluded from their friend group? Amy helps a listener unpack the complexities of this problem: "My 13-year-old daughter has inexplicably been dropped from her friend group at her very small school (less than 10 girls in the grade). As far as my daughter can figure, nothing has precipitated this change. The moms would regularly communicate with each other via text to coordinate as we don’t live in the same town. As a result of this, I know that the moms know that their girls are ostracizing mine. They know she is not invited by their girls. They are no longer texting me to make the plans, carpools, etc. My daughter is distraught. I am also sick to my stomach over it. I don’t know how to help her. I am also heartbroken because I felt that I also thought that I I had the beginnings of a friendship with these women. How do I help my daughter through this?" This is devastating both for the teen in question and us as moms, Amy explains, because our emotional responses to our adolescent's struggles are often colored by our own memories of how difficult this time in our lives may have been. Offering your child infinite support and compassion while keeping your judgments (and expletives) to yourself is key. And while keeping an open mind at this time may seem impossible– who are these little monsters hurting your child's feelings??– it's also important to remember that there may be more to the story than what you are hearing at home. Links! Fresh Take: Judith Warner on What Grownups Get Wrong About Middle School Dr. Lisa Damour on Helping Kids Manage Anxiety Judith Warner's book And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781101905890 Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ophira Eisenberg is a Canadian-born standup comedian and writer. You may remember Ophira as the host of NPR’s comedy trivia show Ask Me Another. Ophira is also a regular host and teller with The Moth and her stories have been featured on The Moth Radio Hour and in their best-selling books. Her comedy special Inside Joke is available on Amazon and iTunes. Ophira is also a parent to a 6-year-old and the host of the new comedy podcast Parenting Is A Joke co-produced by iHeart Radio and Pretty Good Friends Productions. Ophira, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Mom worsts Airport teddy bears The gray area between being wildly successful and quitting Here's where you can find Ophira: @ophirae on Twitter and IG Parenting Is A Joke: http://prettygoodfriends.com/parenting Instagram & FB: @parentingisajoke Twitter: @parentingjoke Ophira’s new solo show "Leaving A Mark: A Comedy About Scars” blends all the rawness, vulnerability, and immediacy of first-person storytelling along with sharp standup. Ophira tells harrowing and hilarious stories about acquiring and living with the dozens of scars that cover her body while the definitions of beauty, body acceptance, and the journey between broken and whole, injured and healed are explored. February 2-4, 9-11, 16-17 at Soho Playhouse. More info & tickets: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35583/production/1148355?utm_source=theatermania&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=tmlisting Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you hate feeling unable to help people in crisis, or do you worry about getting too involved and stepping on toes? There are ways to give help to people in need that are productive and considerate, and our listeners wrote in with some excellent examples. Amy and Margaret discuss: How to avoid the "let me know if you need anything" trap The "comfort in, dump out" model of caretaking The perils of too many lasagnas The best help you can give may be something that feels inconsequential to you but is actually a huge help to the people in need. Whatever your role ends up being during a crisis, accept it graciously, and don't expect a hero's fanfare for your efforts. Links! Anne Helen Petersen: A Shortcut for Caring for Others (and Being Cared for Yourself) Susan Silk and Barry Goldman for the LA Times: "How not to say the wrong thing" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does it feel like everyone else's child is petting golden retrievers in flowered fields while yours are crying in a pile of Cheerios on the floor? Mom FOMO - the fear that you're not giving your kids the positive experiences that all of their peers are getting - is real. Here are some concrete ways to address it. This week's question comes from Amy in our Facebook group: "Ok moms how do you all handle FOMO? Avoid social media? Any advice? This is mainly pertaining to things my kids might be missing out on. Experiences, activities, etc." Margaret discusses some favorite answers to this question from WFH listeners, including JOMO, curating your social media feed to exclude particularly triggering posters, and, Margaret's favorite, list-making. Join our Facebook group! www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast Read all of the answers to Amy's question in the original thread Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cindy Muchnick is the author of THE PARENT COMPASS: Navigating Your Teen's Wellness & Academic Journey in Today's Competitive World. Cindy has been working in education for the past 25+ years as a former Assistant Director of College Admission, high school teacher, and educational consultant. Cindy is also a mother of three sons and a daughter, now ages 16 to 24. In this interview Cindy, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The "true north" of the Parent Compass How to assess when you should and shouldn't intervene in our child's life How to reframe what success means for our kids To help our kids thrive, we first have to follow our own compasses as parents and investigate why we parent the way we do. This self-reflection helps us help our kids - which sometimes means helping them less. Here's where you can find Cindy: Twitter | @ParentCompass1 Instagram | @parentcompass Facebook | TheParentCompass www.cynthiamuchnick.com Buy Cindy's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781641702881 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! Go to onepeloton.com to get $500 off Peloton Tread packages and choose the bundle you like best. All-access membership separate. Offer ends January 8, 2023. Excludes Tread basics. See additional terms at onepeloton.com. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it siblings so often seem to be total opposites? If we notice that and lean into comparisons, are we bad parents? And if our kids really are completely different, are they choosing those divergent paths on purpose? Yes and no. Here's why kids in the same family can turn out so differently, and what it means for us as we parent them. In this episode we discuss: The definition of "adaptive divergence" The difference between knowing our kids and comparing them Why each of our children, even in the same household, grow up in their own "micro environments" At the end of the day, we're wired to compare our kids as naturally as breathing. And instead of punishing ourselves for doing so, noticing when we do it and why is a good start. Even if you think you already know everything about your kids, keep your data intake sheets open! LINKS! Our episode "Why Are Our Kids Such Total Opposites?" Lynn Berger for Mother Mag: "How (Not To) Compare Your Children" Dr. Frank Sulloway: "Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family" Jensen, Alexander C et al. in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence: “Parents' Social Comparisons of Siblings and Youth Problem Behavior: A Moderated Mediation Model.” Sheryl Ziegler for The Tot: "Why raising your kids differently is actually a good thing" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month. Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod21 and use code wfhpod21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! Go to onepeloton.com to get $500 off Peloton Tread packages and choose the bundle you like best. All-access membership separate. Offer ends January 8, 2023. Excludes Tread basics. See additional terms at onepeloton.com. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt disappointed that you have only sons or only daughters? You're not alone, and you don't have to feel guilty about your feelings, either. A listener says: "I had my third boy in December (a surprise pregnancy and, frankly, one that my husband did not want). I'm finding it very difficult to get over the fact that I will never have a daughter. My mom and I were insanely close growing up and I always thought I'd continue that strong bond with my own daughter. All my friends and community around me have girls - we were literally the only of our network to have a boy and now I have three. I can't help feeling sad that I am missing out on a part of life that I grew up looking forward to. I feel so ashamed about it, I haven't been able to speak the words to anyone (least of all my husband who would fear I want a fourth - I don't, by the way). Many people keep asking if we're going to "try again for a girl," which we were never doing in the first place and just makes me feel more upset. My boys are 4, 21 months and now 5 months old. And I wouldn't trade them in for the world. How can I get over this?" In this "Best of" episode, Amy describes the anxiety she felt when she learned her third child would be a girl after getting used to parenting two boys. She explains that "gender disappointment" is extremely common– and helps our listener tease out and actively reframe the different emotions that might be at work. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like you're in a constant state of verbal contact with your kids - either arguing, praising, or commanding, all day long? So did Michaeleen Doucleff, until she went on assignment to the Yucatan to learn about Mayan methods of parenting. Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff is a science reporter for NPR and the author of the New York Times best-seller Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. In this "Best Of" interview Amy, Margaret, and Michaeleen discuss: The power of NOT negotiating with your child Tenets of WEIRD parenting (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic) How Michaeleen's relationship with her daughter has improved with these techniques Taking note of how much you insert yourself into your child's activities during the day - and making a conscious effort to do so less - is a very important part of improving both your child's behavior and your relationship with them. Here's where you can find Michaeleen: Twitter: @foodiescience michaeleendoucleff.com Buy Michaeleen's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982149673 Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It is often difficult and painful to break parenting patterns that were harmful to us as children. But pattern-breaking is entirely possible and may not be as difficult as we fear. In this "Best Of" episode, Amy and Margaret discuss the definition of a pattern, how to notice our own, and why changing is indeed an option. Noticing your physical reactions to triggering situations - and noting that those are reactions to past situations, not the present one - can help you on your way to breaking old patterns. Links! Karen Young for Hey Sigmund: Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Parenting – How to Silence Old Toxic Messages for Good "This Be The Verse" by Philip Larkin Robert Taibbi for Psychology Today: Breaking Old Patterns? Expect Psychological Withdrawal Rough Draft by Katie Tur Join our Facebook group! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parenting through grief can be isolating, overwhelming, and debilitating all at the same time. Margaret shares some helpful tactics, both from research and from her own experience, for processing a parent's terminal diagnosis while simultaneously helping your children understand the situation. A listener wrote in to say: "Good morning! I found your podcast in 2020 and love listening to you both. I am a 39-year-old mom of 2 girls (6 and 4). My mother was recently given a terminal diagnosis (specifically ALS). Margaret, you have spoken about the loss of your mother on the podcast. I was wondering if you have any tips or advice on how to handle the loss of your mother while also parenting young children (including how to keep her memory alive, since they are so young)." Margaret explains that it's important to process your feelings alone or with another adult before taking on your children's questions and feelings. But at the same time, it's important to speak openly and frankly with your children about what's happening and what will happen once their grandparent passes away. In the meantime, be intentional about memory making with your parent and include your children in that process. Margaret and Amy have both used Storyworth, a keepsake-making service that gives relatives a way to share meaningful memories and advice with younger generations. Storyworth is also a sponsor of our podcast, so if you go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell, you can get $10 off. Links! Deborah Serani for Psychology Today: "The Do's and Don'ts of Talking With a Child About Death" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey. KC Davis is the creator of the mental health platform Struggle Care, where she shares a revolutionary approach to self and home care for those dealing with mental health, physical illness, and hard seasons of life. She is a licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and advocate for mental health and recovery. She's the host of the podcast Struggle Care– a member of our Adalyst Media podcast network!– and the author of How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing, which NPR just named one of their favorite books of 2022. We all get overwhelmed when we see our chaotic houses as endless "to-clean" lists that we never complete. In this "best of" episode, KC Davis offers simple and easy-to-implement strategies for making cleaning up functional--and giving you small wins along the way that really count. In this episode, KC, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Why dirty dishes are morally neutral The five different categories of things to pick up in a messy room How working in a restaurant gave KC a new perspective on "closing duties" Here's where you can find KC: https://www.strugglecare.com/about Purchase KC's book, How to Keep House While Drowning, here. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell is a finalist for a Signal Award! Please vote for our show to win a People's Choice Award at bit.ly/votesignalaward. Voting closes December 22! Here's the Spotify playlist of our favorite episodes from 2022! In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: Their past lives Why Polly Pockets are banned in Margaret's house How to know when to walk away - and when to run 2022 has been a great year for What Fresh Hell and for our new podcast network, Adalyst Media. We're excited to bring you more #oldilocks moments, interesting guests, and parenting solutions in 2023. Happy holidays! Special thanks to our Adalyst Media and What Fresh Hell team! Christy Haussler of Team Podcast, Editor Erica Furgiuele, Production Manager Sarah Levithan, Head of Sales at Adalyst Media Gabbi Lindgren, Assistant Director of Operations at Adalyst Media Keila Hill-Trawick of Little Fish, our accountant Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If your child gets gifts they don't like from well-meaning family members, it can be difficult to navigate. The last thing we want to do is hurt our loved one's feelings, but we also need to teach our kids how best to handle this situation. Listener Gabbi wrote in to say: "Last year my 5-year-old daughter got a Christmas gift from my in-laws – a monogrammed chair for her room. They were excited about it and she was obviously not, and I had to smooth over hurt feelings later. Is there any way to help a handle the disappointment of receiving an unwanted present without making it too obvious?" Amy explains that when someone gives your child a present, it is important for them to recognize that this gift was given out of love and kindness. Even if they don't love the gift itself, they can still appreciate the kind gesture behind it. And you can always suggest or even purchase a gift yourself for your family member to give your child! Links! Sheila Hanson for Popsugar: "These 5 Words Changed the Way My Kids Receive Gifts" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Natalie Mayslich is the President of Consumer for Care.com, where she is responsible for expanding, building and delivering the Company’s portfolio of Childcare and Senior Care products and services. Blessing Adesiyan is the Founder of Mother Honestly, a platform that provides financial technology and work-life infrastructure to employers and is reshaping the future of women and families at home and in the workplace. Natalie and Blessing are here to talk to us today about a new joint research study between Care.com and Mother Honestly that assesses how remote work truly impacts working families at work and at home. The findings of that study have just been published as The Modern Workplace Report. Natalie and Blessing explain: How remote work makes employees more productive and parents more involved How remote work has changed gender roles in the home How employers can implement effective remote work policies Here's where you can find Natalie and Blessing: www.care.com www.motherhonestly.com @caredotcom on IG/FB/TW @mhworklife on IG/TW Read The Modern Workplace Report Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks, or experiences that are nothing but drudge for everyone! The only thing on our wish list this year is for you to take our listener survey: bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey Links! Here's the Spotify playlist of our holiday episodes Anne Helen Petersen, "A Theory of Sprawling Holidays" Mollie Wilson O'Reilly, "Waiting By the Jesse Tree" Eleanor Lees for Newsweek: "Why Does the Christmas Countdown Get Earlier Every Year?" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Offer ends Dec. 31, 2022. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have multiple groups of relatives who plan on spending the holidays with you? If you've got parents, in-laws, and other relatives competing for your time and attention, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A listener asks: "How do you tackle splitting time between family over the holidays with a newborn? Both sets of grandparents live in the same town, but how do we decide that it's time to leave one place and go to the next? It's already tough keeping up eating and napping schedules." Margaret suggests making a detailed schedule for holiday time with each group of relatives and sharing it with everyone involved so no unpleasant surprises occur. And manage expectations for yourself and for your family around how many visits you'll be able to achieve with kids in tow. The holidays should be a time for family fun above all! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach who helps ambitious, overwhelmed women break free from their fears to courageously and authentically live, work, and parent on their own terms. She’s the host of the podcast Emotionally Uncomfortable and the author of Dying To Be A Good Mother: How I Dropped the Guilt and Took Control of My Parenting and My Life. Heather explains: How a stage four cancer diagnosis changed her life's trajectory Her process of writing down desires rather than goals Why atomic habits are the key to success for busy moms Working towards your goals is a long game of tiny shifts, says Heather. It's not about waking up one day and moving to Bali to open a bar (although if that IS your dream, more power to you!) It's about taking one minute, then two, then ten, to make space for your desires not just as a wife and a mother but as a full human being. Here's where you can find Heather: https://heatherchauvin.com/ IG: @heatherchauvin_ Facebook: @heatherchauvincoaching Listen to the "Emotionally Uncomfortable" podcast Buy Heather's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781774580226 Take Heather's Energy Finder quiz: http://heatherchauvin.com/lifequiz Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether it's fish, feet, or ramen, our listeners have got some very odd things that they just can't stand. We discuss the breadth and depth of their very weirdest fears, along with our own aversions to the darndest things. Margaret and Amy discuss: Margaret's fear of grass and jazz Amy's rusty yoga poses The scariest Muppets Links! Babies refusing to stand on grass montage Join our Facebook group Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Check out all of our Adalyst Media Network podcasts Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If our kids seem standoffish at first when other adults try to engage them in conversation, parents may worry that such kids are missing essential social skills. This week a listener asks: "I'd love ideas on how to get your child to engage in normal back-and-forth conversation with adults. My four-year-old won’t respond to extended family or other adults when they try to talk her her. No “Hello," no “Thank you”, etc. If the adults engage in play with her, then she will be very chatty. But this morning she wouldn’t respond when her own father said ”Good morning." This is probably totally age-appropriate, and she's a happy, well-adjusted kid, but she struggles with this. I’ve been trying to practice and prep her with how to respond before events, but that hasn’t made much progress." Amy assures our listener that this behavior is both age-appropriate and worth having a discussion about. Put your child in the driver's seat with a little role play, practicing both initiating conversation and responding to prompts. And remember that it's totally okay if your kid takes a while to warm up to others - better giving them space than forcing them into uncomfortable social situations. There's plenty of time for the latter when they become adults. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? Maslow proposed a pyramid as the pattern through which human needs and motivations generally move. We can't worry about what's at the upper levels of the pyramid until and unless the more basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid– food, warmth, safety– are met first. Leslie Forde, founder of Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, has rethought that pyramid for the way we live our lives as mothers. There's a reason there's not enough bandwidth in our lives for fun and connection and self-actualization. Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs provides moms with products, research and community to reclaim time from their never-done to-do lists. In this episode, Leslie explains: Why mom's hierarchy of needs is a little different than Maslow's When and why your hierarchy of needs might shift How to prioritize your career, healthy relationships, and self-care in your own hierarchy Leslie says that it's important to realize your health and wellbeing is equal in importance to your children's health and wellbeing, and once you internalize that, you can start to make room for your own needs without feeling guilty or frivolous. Here's where you can find Leslie: Facebook: @MOMSHIERARCHYOFNEEDS Twitter: @MOMSHIERARCHY IG: @MOMSHIERARCHYOF_NEEDS Leslie's TimeCheck app https://momshierarchyofneeds.com/ Our episode "Isn't This Supposed to Be More Fun?" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Aura Frames turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames at auraframes.com/FRESH. Terms and conditions apply. Author Accelerator’s Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Enroll in the program at bookcoaches.com/podcasts before December 31st to get $600 in book coaching extras. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/FRESH. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/wfh and use code WFH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey. When parenting feels like all work and no play, we may resignedly think "Well, that's the way it's supposed to be." But if you feel like parenting is more draining than fulfilling, there are ways to bring more presence, joy, and fun into the mix. Amy and Margaret discuss: why having fun as a family usually means doing what kids think is fun, which is not the same as US having fun what psychologists say is required in order to have fun- and why those same things can be in short supply in our lives as parents the role of "flow" in fun, and whether eight hours of video games might start to have diminishing returns Sometimes parenting isn't fun. The reasons for that aren't our fault, and losing the guilt that it's not all more fun can really help. On the other hand, if it's never fun, there might be some rearrangements of our family life that can occur... and we've got ideas on how to start. Links! Jennifer Senior: All Joy And No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood Daniel Gilbert: Stumbling on Happiness Mikhail Csikszentmihalyi: Flow Arlie Hochschild: The Second Shift Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/fresh and get on your way to being your best self.” For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/wfh and use code WFH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/motherhood. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your kid ask you to make their breakfast or do their laundry despite the fact that they know how to do these things? Where's the line between lending them a hand and waiting on them hand and foot? Listener Lindsay asks: "Talk to me about how you field requests from your kids to “help them” with things they’re old enough to do themselves. Like my 12 year old’s constant requests to make her breakfast, or my 6 year old who will often ask me to go fetch things for her that she forgot elsewhere in the house. I will often decline and tell them that they can do these things themselves… but then I wonder — couldn’t they say the same thing to me when I ask them for help? They’re always very willing to help me when I ask, and I know they are probably looking at these requests of me in the same light. How do I reciprocate their willingness to help me without teaching them learned helplessness? " There's no hard-and-fast rule for how much your kids should be doing around the house. As long as you contextualize the scenarios where you help for your kids, there's no harm in sometimes doing things for them if they're bogged down with homework or having a rough day. Links! Children's Hospital of Philadelphia blog: "Chores and Kids: How Much Should You Expect?" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does it feel like our career and our family are pulling us in different directions and making it hard to be fully present in both arenas? In her new book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much). Dr. Yael Schonbrun explains how we can move from a zero-sum mindset to a life in which our work life and our family life are enable to enrich each other. Yael Schonbrun is also the co-host of the "Psychologists Off the Clock" podcast, an assistant professor at Brown University, and a mother of three little comedians. In this episode Yael and Amy discuss: Why the guilt that often accompanies parenting is hard-wired into us What values clarification looks like Why starting a "stop doing" list can be surprisingly helpful Here's where you can find Yael: Twitter: @DrYaelSchonbrun #WorkParentThrive Buy Yael's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781611809657 Links! Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on how to manage anxiety Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/fresh and get on your way to being your best self.” For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Please take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey! It helps us bring you sponsors you'll love– and it keeps this podcast going! When we look at our kids– and think of the responsibilities we had and risks we took at their ages– a lot of us think our kids are growing up more slowly. This is definitely not always a bad thing. But when our kid is playing Pokémon and their peers have moved on to Snapchat, should we be encouraging them to blossom? Or letting them stay young a little longer? Amy and Margaret discuss: why it's good to have "young" kids when to rescue, and when to leave them alone how to make our own homes safe havens for our kids to be exactly who they are Links! Camille Noe Pagán for WebMD: "Is It Immaturity or ADHD?" Alloprof Parents: "5 ways to support an immature first grader" PsychCentral: "The Effects of Trauma from Growing up Too Fast" Amy Norton for CBS News: "Why today's teens are growing up more slowly than they used to" Katie Bishop for BBC: "Kids getting older younger: Are children growing up too fast?" Steven Richfield for HealthyPlace: "Coaching The Emotionally Immature Middle Schooler" Julie Rawe for Understood: "Why some kids seem immature compared to other kids their age" Dr. Tori Cordiano for Your Teen Magazine: "My Daughter Is Immature and She’s Annoying Her Friends" Jessica Lahey for Your Teen Magazine: "Understanding Changing Middle School Friendships" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/fresh and get on your way to being your best self.” For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our kids get overwhelmed with homework and tests and schedule-making, it can be pretty clear they need our help. Sometimes they come right out and ask for assistance– only to then angrily insist every suggestion we make is the dumbest thing ever. How can we support our stressed kids without being trash cans for all their frustration and bad feelings? A member of our Facebook group says: My family moved last spring to a new school district with higher standards than our previous one. Our teen is really having a hard time understanding how to manage his time. I know he has all the tools and support to be successful, so the only thing holding him back is his own effort/attitude. He procrastinates and bargains his way into doing the least possible effort and then when I check in with him to review or to help plan his assignments he snarls at me. He is in this cycle of not wanting to do the work or the task in the moment, and then getting pissed later that he essentially set himself up to struggle. We let him make his own study plans for the first six weeks with us just supporting his choices where we could, but that resulted in poor grades. Then we would force him to let us help him study, and he would be much more successful. He just fights the help. So I have 2 options: A- say “fine, go ahead and do it your way and fail your classes” which will result in many consequences I fear that he is not mature enough to think about, or B- keep taking the abuse and fighting him, knowing that it’s the only way he will stay on track which is definitely not the healthiest means to an end. It's a tough situation a parent to be in, and hard not to become triggered by it. Amy says it's important to remember that our kids are struggling with two different things– their workloads, and their anxieties– and that their frustrations are about those things, not about how annoying Mom is. No matter what they might say. Books Amy mentions in the episode: THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD by Ross Greene SMART BUT SCATTERED TEENS by Richard Guare, Peg Dawson, and Colin Guare Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-declared late-bloomer Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humorist, writer, and author who's written for McSweeney’s, The New Yorker Daily Shouts, US Weekly, and BuzzFeed. Her new book, "I'm Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better, and a Hell of a Lot Louder," is an exploration of self-acceptance, second acts, and unapologetically chasing the lives we deserve as women. In this episode we discuss: why we would– and wouldn't– go back to when we were younger the ability to reprioritize female friendships at midlife why every new mom feels like she's in a middle-school cafeteria Aging can bring unwelcome surprises along with it, says Wendi, but it can also bring some welcome ones. Here's where you can find Wendi: Social media: @WendiAarons www.wendiaarons.com Buy Wendi's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781524873738 Wendi's open letter to Always Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. BetterHelp is online therapy that is affordable, confidential, and effective! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What did adulthood mean to you when you were growing up? Staying up late? Doing algebra every day? Stopping, dropping, and rolling at least once a week? We asked our listeners what they thought would come in handy or plague them daily when they grew up. Amy and Margaret discuss: "Oops! All Berries" Cap'n Crunch cereal Chunky statement pieces How to get the upper hand in "Jeopardy" Here's the original thread in our Facebook group where we asked this question Sign up for our newsletter! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you caught your kid using some choice words in your presence, perhaps ones he picked up from older friends or even you yourself? Wondering how to rein in your little goodfella? A listener wrote in to say: "Our almost-eight-year-old has been hanging around some older kids, and has found it amusing to use various swear words both casually and in a derogatory context at home. We’ve had multiple talks about how, while we don’t care that he knows these words, we don’t want him using them in our presence and in the presence of others as they can be considered very rude and insulting. It hasn’t seem to have made a difference. Is this a phase? Do we just blank-face ignore it? Is it time for a negative consequence for swearing just because he gets a kick out of it? We also don’t want it to wear off on our four-year-old." Margaret says that finding the middle way between reactive punishment and blank-faced detachment when your kid swears in front of you is the key to success. Here's how to thread that needle. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do so many mothers struggle with new parenthood if the maternal instinct is supposed to "kick in" and tell us all exactly what to do? In her new book Mother Brain: How Neuroscience Is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood, Chelsea Conaboy cracks the myth of the maternal instinct wide open. In this episode, Chelsea explains: How caring for a baby changes the brain of both biological and nonbiological parents, both gestational and non-gestational, and for far longer than we realize Why the traditional view of "baby blues" falls far short of what new parents need Why the parent-child bond is a two-way street, and how each of our children changes our brains further How we can use this new science to improve outcomes for all parents Here's where you can find Chelsea: Website: motherbrainbook.com Twitter: @cconaboy IG: @chelsea.wonder Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For moms who want to make a change, whether it's returning to an old career after a break, or forging a entirely new path, Amy and Margaret are here to tell you: it's possible, and it can be a time that feels like possibility instead of a series of closed doors. Amy and Margaret discuss: Their own (multiple) experiences with pivoting How the pandemic has affected working moms The challenges of reentering the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent for some time The first step to pivoting? Uncovering what you really want in this next stage of your professional life, which will take some time and reflection. Think big. Links! Caroline Fairchild for Working Together: "Nearly half of mothers work, take a break, and work again. Why is there still such a stigma?" Jamie Birt for Indeed: "9 Tips for Stay-at-Home Parents Re-Entering the Workforce" Misty L. Heggeness et. al: "Tracking Job Losses for Mothers of School-Age Children During a Health Crisis" Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love Sign up for our newsletter here! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your child crumple every time he makes a mistake? Particularly when it's in front of an audience? A listener named Katherine wrote in to say: My 8-year-old son is very aware of how he performs relative to others. When he is performing “worse” than others he is very hard on himself. He says “I’m the worst” and cries. This comes up most often in sports. He played baseball recently and when he struck out he often cried. (I think the public nature of striking out heightens his distress.) We try to validate his emotions. We try to encourage and validate his efforts and not the outcome. But nothing seems to work. It’s heart breaking. I don’t want to get into a logical battle with him about him not being the worst! A logical battle is indeed not the answer, Amy explains. You're arguing with the default mode network. Redirecting and distracting from the issue will make it easier on both you and your kid. Links! Fresh Take: Dr. Ned Hallowell on the Newest Science and Essential Strategies for ADHD Our episode: When To Let Kids Quit Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hunter Clarke-Fields is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course, the host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, and the author of Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids. Hunter helps parents bring more calm and peace into their daily lives. Hunter has over twenty years of experience in meditation practices and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide. She is the mother to two daughters. In this interview Hunter explains: The true definition of mindfulness How to break the cycle of reactivity Her own struggles with staying mindful as a parent The key is to start small with creating a mindfulness practice, Hunter says. (Oh, and it may sound cliché, but lots of deep breaths, too. Guess what? It works.) Here's where you can find Hunter: FB/Instagram - @mindfulmamamentor YouTube - @HunterClarkeFieldsMindfulMamaMentor Twitter - @HClarkeFields Pinterest - @mindfulmamamentor Website: www.mindfulmamamentor.com Buy Hunter's Book Raising Good Humans: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781684033881 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at etsy.com. Find a new fall favorite for your wardrobe with Faherty. Head to fahertybrand.com/fresh and use code FRESH at checkout for 20% off. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements--or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If a three-year-old can't wait thirty seconds more for dinner, will she grow up to be an impatient adult? Is there anything we can do to teach our kids patience– and should we? Impatience is completely normal in kids (not to mention grownups), but there are ways to help our children develop this skill. It's worth the effort– not to make our kids more compliant and quiet in church, but because patience and overall happiness, as it turns out, are highly correlated. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Why impatience is developmentally appropriate- and when kids are ready to become more patient The infamous "marshmallow experiment" How to model patience for our kids (and find a little more happiness ourselves) Links! Steve Calechman for Greater Good Magazine: "How to Help Your Kids Be a Little More Patient" Angel E Navidad for SimplyPsychology: "Marshmallow Test Experiment and Delayed Gratification" Scholastic Parents: "Teaching Patience" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it. Go to etsy.com and use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase. Faherty has your fall wardrobe covered. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use code FRESH at checkout to snag 20% off ALL your new fall staples. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the phrase "Well, you didn't say NOT to" a common refrain in your house? Some kids love to find ways around the rules and regulations parents or teachers set down. A listener wrote in to say: "How do you get your middle schooler to focus his incredible power of finding loopholes in all things from pointless ideas to more proactive agendas? He’s smart, witty, loves attention, and can argue with a brick wall. How do I help him channel that to good? Or how do I survive until he is mature enough to do it naturally? " Margaret explains that boundary-seeking behavior is natural in kids and that parenting is more about "benevolent dictatorship" than constant policing. For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books, including the just-out "Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters." She hosts the every-weekday-morning podcast "Before Breakfast" and also co-hosts "Best of Both Worlds" with Sarah Hart-Unger. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children. Laura explains: How to create a "resilient" schedule How to start small with prioritizing the more important things What keeps people from taking ownership of their time Starting small is the key, Laura says, by investigating how you currently spend your time and using that information as a launch point to move towards a more "resilient" schedule. Here's where you can find Laura: http:///lauravanderkam.com @lvanderkam on Twitter and IG @lauravanderkamauthor on FB Buy Laura's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593419007 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's your scariest mom-ster story? Do you leave half-empty cups everywhere like Margaret? Do you leave hairs on the shower wall like Amy? We asked our listeners when they were the mom-sters, and some of the answers sent chills down our spines! In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: "Driver's License" (wait, is it not cool anymore?) The secret to moms' bad moods Recycling rules (and how we don't respect them) Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does another kid have an unrequited crush on your kid? How does your kid shut it down without seeming cruel or unkind? A listener on FB asks: A girl has a big crush on my 8-year-old boy. She follows him around, always tries to sit next to him, and is constantly trying to talk to him. He isn't interested in her (or anyone); he just wants to hang out with his buddies. I told him he doesn't have to like her back, but he just can't be mean to her. Is there anything he can say to her that isn't mean but will let her know he doesn't want to hang out with her? Amy explains that setting boundaries is just as important for boys as it is for girls and gives some practice phrases for kids to do just that. There is a way to take the middle road of validating both kids' emotions while maintaining healthy boundaries and decorum, she says. Links: Rae Jacobson for Child Mind Institute: "Helping Girls Deal With Unwanted Sexual Attention" Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, is a clinical social worker, and mother. She’s the author of four non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019), as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent, and the forthcoming How to Stop Freaking Out, the (completely swear-free) middle-grade adaptation of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids. Carla explains: Sh*tty Parenting Syndrome (SPS) The "second arrow" of suffering The four pillars of practicing self-compassion: noticing, connection, curiosity, and kindness Self-compassion isn't meant to help you feel better, Carla says. It's meant to assure you that you can still feel all of the big emotions that come with parenting while taking care of yourself and validating whatever you are feeling. This allows us to approach parenting from a place of calm, clarity, creativity, and confidence. Here's where you can find Carla: @carlanaumburg on IG @CarlaGeorge22 on Twitter /cnaumburg on Facebook https://www.carlanaumburg.com/ Buy Carla's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523517114 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Which teacher is your kid's favorite person in school? How did a teacher give your kid extra support that they weren't required to give? How did a teacher advocate for your kid when they weren't able to do it for themselves? The examples are endless, yet teachers are under an immense amount of pressure to deliver flawless educational educational experiences for every single one of their students, as this listener explained in our Facebook group: "Please allow me to provide a peek behind the teacher curtain. If you dare to try and save your families from a bed full of confetti the night before school and save your remaining sanity and $40, the principal calls you to their office the next day. With a judgmental sniff, they tell you they just got off the phone with that one mom who is “very upset” that her special snowflake cried herself to sleep last night because her friend had the magical, life altering opportunity to fill the house with glitter confetti and YOU deprived Snowflake of the same incredible experience. (No mom ever calls and tells the principal to thank you for NOT perpetrating this horror upon their household.) Your “classroom vibe” and parent communication is literally part of your annual review. And the bar is high." We asked our listeners how teachers went above and beyond for their kids, and they had too many examples to name. Thank you, teachers! Links: Humans of New York story about Jon Cruz Jesse Jackson on Sesame Street "I Am Somebody!" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thinking about planning a long-distance road trip for your family in an RV? Not sure where to start? Julie on Facebook asks: My kid wants to do an RV trip next summer. We live in Ohio and have no specific destinations in mind yet. But any resources to help us learn the ropes and pitfalls ahead of time would be greatly appreciated. When she went on a six-day RV trip with her family, Margaret learned some easy and some DEFINITELY not so easy lessons about road trips with kids. Hint: less is definitely more! Margaret rented her RV from cruiseamerica.com (not a sponsor, btw) For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're delighted to be talking to an expert whose work has shaped our understanding about effective and compassionate parenting more than anyone else we can think of. Dr. Stuart Shanker is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. He is the author of several books, including Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life. The Self-Reg framework uses cutting-edge neuroscience to help children and adults feel happy and think clearly by better regulating themselves. Dr. Shanker's latest books are Self-Reg Schools: A Handbook for Educators (2019) and Reframed: Self-Reg for a Just Society . In this episode, Dr. Shanker explains: the three basic principles of the self-reg framework how stress affects kids' behavior how to break the spiraling stress cycle for both parents and kids Find Dr. Shanker's self-reg courses here: https://self-reg.ca/ @SelfReg on social media @themehritcentre on Pinterest Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy 6th Anniversary to What Fresh Hell! In six years of doing this podcast, we've learned a lot, changed our minds, and watched our kids grow. This week we're talking about the most important things we've learned over the last six years, and what a privilege it is to be part of this incredible podcast community. Thanks for listening! Here are some things we talk about in this episode: Fresh Take: Helena Andrews-Dyer on Learning From Moms Not Like Us Fresh Take: Dr. Becky Goodman on Being "Good Inside" Faberge Organics Hairspray commercial (tell two friends!) Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bedtime struggles don't end once your kids are no longer toddlers. Is bedtime at your house leaving you more exhausted than the kids? A listener wrote in to say: "I just re-listened to your bedtime routine podcast to get some much-needed advice. I have 8 and 11-year-olds and we are having trouble with bedtime. I am spending 2+ hours with the whole routine and it goes without saying that I’m getting burned out. I can apply some of the tips from that particular episode which was geared towards a four-year-old, but do you have any tips for these ages? Anything is appreciated." Amy suggests this listener hink about what she can add and what she can take away. If the song-and-dance has become part of the routine, it might be time for a "back to one." Listen on for some ideas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Helena Andrews-Dyer is an award-winning culture reporter for The Washington Post. Her new memoir “The Mamas: What I Learned About Kids, Class, and Race From Moms Not Like Me” tells the story of how Helena joined her local mom group —“the Mamas”— after having her first child. Helena quickly realized that being one of the only Black mothers in the mix was a mixed bag. The racial, cultural, and socioeconomic differences were made clear almost immediately. In this interview, Helena and Margaret discuss what it's like raising Black children in America, what she's learned about the connections motherhood forges, and the many cultural spaces Helena has occupied throughout her life. Helena and Margaret discuss: The ways motherhood is racialized for Black women Being an "invisible mom" What it takes to make an authentic connection with another mother Here's where you can find Helena: www.helenaandrews.com find THE MAMAS in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593240311 @helena_andrews on IG and Twitter Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are lots of reasons why someone might find parenting easier when their spouse is not around, and not all of them are a cause to call in the couples therapist. A listener posted in our Facebook group: Anyone else feel like things are easier when their spouse isn’t home? We’ve been dealing with some family issues so he is out of town. I find that when he isn’t here, my kids listen better, we make a good team and work together, they sleep better, etc. Is that weird? How can one person make such a difference? Not much has changed except I do a little more (take out the trash, drop kids off at school) so it’s not that I have more time. It just seems more peaceful in our home or something. And to be honest, I’m not sure it’s a good sign! When we're solo parenting, we have more alone time, we don't have to negotiate child-related or housework-related decisions, and there are fewer dishes and dirty clothes to wash. If you like it when your spouse is away, that doesn't mean you love them any less or they're a bad spouse. But are there advantages we can consider making part of our parenting all the time? That might also be a possibility. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why it's easier to solo parent sometimes How the pandemic changed couple dynamics How to discuss with our spouse how we feel We've launched a new network! Adalyst Media is where women come to listen. Find out more about Adalyst Media at adalystmedia.com. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Katie Cloyd for Scary Mommy: "My Life Is Easier When My Husband Travels" Meredith Bland for Parent Map: "Parenting is Easier When My Husband is Out of Town" We Did Not Sign Up For Being With Our Spouses 24/7 (with guest Damona Hoffman) A Room Of Our Own: Claiming the Space We Need Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Three-year-olds will do a lot of things to get attention– sometimes including spitting in your face. A listener wrote in to say: "My almost 3-year-old spits. He doesn't respond well to time-outs, losing toys/treats/etc., explaining that it's rude and hurtful. He spits in my face during church, at his older siblings, or any time he doesn't get his immediate way. He does it when he's getting attention, when he's not getting attention, when he's happy, when he's mad...I'm at a loss. I cannot find the pattern and it is really starting to get to me." The key, as Margaret explains, is to not give our kids the satisfaction of a big reaction to their unwanted behaviors. Easier said than done... but here are a few things to try. In this episode Margaret mentions: Amy Morin for Verywell Family: "How to Discipline a Child for Spitting" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Penelope Leach is a research psychologist and one of the world's leading experts in child development and upbringing. Penelope has helped millions of parents raise their children for more than forty years with her thoroughly researched, practical, baby-led advice, her wise, empathic, and sensible perspective, and her comforting voice. She also has two children and six grandchildren of her own. Penelope's classic childcare guide YOUR BABY AND CHILD is out now in a fully revised and updated edition. Much has changed since this book was first published in the 1970s, and this new edition thoughtfully incorporates all that we've learned about child development and family structures in the many years since. Amy, Margaret, and Dr. Leach discuss: How thinking around child development has changed [2:50] How a mother's stress affects her child [17:10] What parents are still worried about 50 years later [30:00] Grab your copy of YOUR BABY AND CHILD from our Bookshop store! Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Cars with built-in refrigerator magnets, super strong hair-collecting magnets, and of course, Baby Uber (car seats included!) Our listeners had so many good ideas for life-saving parenting inventions that we couldn't fit them all into our first "Why Isn't This a Thing?" episode. So here is "Why Isn't This a Thing: Part Two: New Things Rising: Maybe It Is a Thing." Amy and Margaret discuss amazing ideas like: Hotels for sick moms Cocktail ice cream trucks Applebee's buzzers Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some kids have "lower set points" for needing to process experiences verbally and they may naturally be a quieter kid, which means parents may need to let go of the expectations they have set for having long, deep conversations with their kids every day after school. This week, a listener asks: I have three boys: almost 7, almost 4, almost 3. I've tried to do the rose/ thorn/ bud reflection at dinner to get even the tiniest glimpse in to my almost-7 year old's day. And I am constantly responded to with either "I dunno" or "So many things I can't even begin to tell you." When I/we say "Well, pick one" he will just shrug and say "I dunno" or stay silent. We will sit in the silence in order to give him time to think but he will always move on to a different topic - usually something he's obsessed with and nothing related to what we have been talking about. I've often said things like "Well, I'd love to know when you think of one thing" or have encouraged him to take his time, but we get nothing. At the end of last year I discovered he was fighting with another boy and that they were no longer friends - I had thought they were buddies! It turns out all the other moms knew because their kids had talked about their "beef". I feel like if my kid would open up maybe this would've come to my attention. I feel sad and frustrated, how do I get him to talk? There are some things you can try to break the ice: let your kid decide on the topic of conversation; vary the time of day when you try to talk to your kid; and use conversation cards like these Table Topics for Kids to get the conversation going. But forcing the issue is usually counterproductive. If your child is content overall, there's a chance that not sharing about their day isn't actually holding them back. Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donna Jackson Nakazawa is an award-winning science journalist whose work explores the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion. Her latest book, GIRLS ON THE BRINK: Helping Our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Social Media, unpacks the causes of the stress on American girls and its detrimental effects on their mental health. Donna, Margaret, and Amy discuss: Why girls tend to be more depressed and anxious than boys [2:07] How we've stolen girls' "safe in-between years" [17:30] "Antidote" strategies for helping girls through adolescence [26:30] Here's where you can find Donna: https://donnajacksonnakazawa.com @donnajacksonnakazawaauthor on Facebook Buy Donna's book! Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another roundup of what we're reading, watching, and listening to. Some of it's educational. Some of it's spicy. Some of it's just for fun. And all of it is totally worth your time! What we're reading: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman Evgenia Peretz for Vanity Fair: "Scene Stealer: The True Lies of Elisabeth Finch, Part 1" Our What Fresh Hell newsletter! Subscribe on our homepage. What we're watching: Amy Winehouse documentary "Back to Black" The Rehearsal on HBO Napoleon Dynamite Jeopardy! Animal Facts @comedyfortheinternet #animalfacts Keep Sweet, Pray, and Obey Under the Banner of Heaven (book and TV show) KC Davis's TikTok @domesticblisters What we're listening to: The Seduction Dirty John Sweet Bobby A Normal Family: The JonBenet Ramsey Case Revisited Watch What Crappens Our Fresh Take with Kate Mangino Beyoncé's new album "Renaissance" Lizzo's new album "Special" Our episode "Grudges Held, Grudges Kept" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to that we think you’ll love. Go to whatfreshhellpodcast.com – there’s a link in the right sidebar. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, a listener asks: My 10-year-old son is friendly, outgoing, and very accepting. He is also really interested in sports. He has a lot of acquaintances in both school and on his teams, but has no one I would call a best friend. He doesn’t get invited to a lot of birthday parties and rarely is asked for a play date, although the neighborhood kids will knock on the door and ask for him to come play a fair amount. He has ADHD and can get a little overly silly and/or annoy kids (I suspect). But he has not expressed any dissatisfaction with his social life and does not appear lonely, so I don’t want to project my thoughts and feelings on him, but is his lack of close friendships a concern? Is it something we should work on, perhaps social skills? I have never had a lot of acquaintances but have always had a few close friends. My friends changed throughout school but I always had a small group of close friends. Again, I know he is a different person than I am, but I don’t want to miss a sign of something that is amiss. Thoughts? Margaret suggests that if your child isn't expressing dissatisfaction with their social life, it's perfectly alright to leave the matter alone for the time being. There are things that can get in the way of a child forming close friendships, as discussed in the Huffington Post article linked below, and approaching the situation by modeling appropriate behavior yourself is the best course of action. This could look like a social skills class for your child, which Margaret found helpful with hers, or it could simply be practicing polite conversation, reading social cues, and asking others about their interests at the dinner table. Social skills are something you can get better at over time, so don't sweat it if your kid doesn't seem to have it down pat yet. Here is the link to the article Margaret mentions in the episode: Samantha Kemp-Jackson for the Huffington Post: When Your Child Doesn't Have Friends, Here's What To Do Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She's the host of "Good Inside With Dr. Becky," named by Apple Podcasts as one of the best podcasts of 2021. She also empowers more than a million parents following her on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside. Dr. Becky specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translating these ideas into simple, actionable strategies for parents. Her new book is GOOD INSIDE: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. In this episode, Becky, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How kids communicate through their behaviors How to navigate behavior regulation when you're short on time Why "Good Inside" is a slightly different parenting approach Here's where you can find Dr. Becky: www.goodinside.com @drbeckyatgoodinside on IG and FB Buy Dr. Becky's book Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Should our kids have chore lists– and if so, should they be paid allowances for them? If they're not getting paid to do chores, why exactly are they getting an allowance? Do we need to have any structure around chores at all? How old is old enough to be helpful around the house? In this episode, we discuss: Why chores set kids up for success down the road [12:52] The pros of paying kids to do chores [22:33] Non-monetary ways to motivate kids to do chores [26:00] Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Gia Miller for The Washington Post On Parenting: "I pay my kids to get dressed, do homework and more. It’s the best decision I ever made." Jennie Wallace for The Wall Street Journal: "Why Children Need Chores" AICPA: Four in Five Americans Say Allowance Teaches Financial Responsibility: New Survey Joe Pinsker for The Atlantic: The Way American Parents Think About Chores Is Bizarre Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic for Harvard Business Review: "Does Money Really Affect Motivation? A Review of the Research" Fresh Take: Michaeleen Doucleff on Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has it been a while since you've had a night out? Does your parenting partner, in contrast, have an active social life? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group: How do I explain to my husband that while it’s nice he wants to see his friends weekly, he doesn’t have to? He has two friends he hangs out with almost every week, and they're both child-free. So the hanging out always happens during bedtime– or sometimes he'll even leave mid-bedtime. I haven’t seen my friends solo in weeks! Maybe even months! I heard somewhere it’s easier for a dad or non primary caregiver to find childcare ( in their spouse ) than it is for a mom or primary care giver to find it in their spouse. Most of my friends' husbands hardly ever watch their kids, never do bedtimes, or even worse, have never cared for all their kids, solo, at once. The other problem is that it's less work to stay home than go out... Because you know your partner, if they watch the kids, will do the bare bones. The house will be a disaster when I come home. In other words, my husband is a good person, he is willing to watch my kids, but being a mom it’s also not always practical. Please tell me this isn’t just something I struggle with! Let's change our own language around this before we try to change minds. When our spouses or partners are parenting, they're not babysitting, or watching the kids, or helping us. They're doing what they're supposed to be doing. We have to entitle ourselves to the same social lives and plans as our parenting partners who aren't as tied to the home. If their cleaning standards might be below ours... we can fix that, but a little further down the road. For now, focus on how good is it for your family– and for you– that you have renewing time with your friends, and how good it is for your kids to see that your partner can take care of them just as well as you can. Here is writing on the topic mentioned in this episode: Melinda Wenner Moyer: "At Least I'm Not as Bad as That Dad!" Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Flanagan is a journalist, researcher, and a former cross-country and track coach. She's also a founding board member of the Positive Coaching Alliance and an Advisory Group member for the Aspen Institute’s Reimagining Sports initiative. Flanagan's new book is TAKE BACK THE GAME: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids' Sports--and Why It Matters. Linda tells Amy and Margaret what forces conspired to make the youth sports landscape the way it is today. In this episode, Linda, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How the purpose of kids' sports has changed since we were playing ourselves [7:00] Why we assume sports build character, and whether that's true [14:30] How recruitment for college sports affects both kids' and parents' perspectives [22:15] Here's where you can find Linda: Buy Linda's book @lindaflanagan2 on Twitter Mindshift Podcast on NPR Read Linda's recent article in The Atlantic: "The Downsides of Having an Athlete in the Family" Our previous episode on kids' sports: "Youth Sports: If You Must" Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's back-to-school season, and even if that means you have a few more hours to yourself each day, there are still plenty of fresh hells in store, from preseason sports to parent portals to an unholy invention called "ready confetti". Amy and Margaret share their own stories of times when back-to-school meant drive-me-mad. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Phyllis Fagell for The Washington Post: "Five ways parents can help children have a better school year" Ratchetdemic by Christopher Emdin Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, listener Katie says: Hi, Margaret and Amy. I am a longtime listener of the show and I've gained so much wisdom, comfort, and humorous perspectives on parenthood from you both. I am a parent of two boys, ages five going into kindergarten and nine going into fourth grade. Currently I am a full-time working-from-home mom. After school has always been my kryptonite. My boys tend to be grumpy and typically want to do different things. One wants to play with friends in the neighborhood, and one wants to veg and be on screens until dinner. We are low key with after school commitments. What are some habits or routines that work for you and your family after school? Margaret explains how scheduling blocks of time, sometimes different ones for each kid, can help give kids structure after school while also leaving room for downtime in the form of their choice. She also recommends you "feed the beast" right when kids get home and make time for homework before dinner, not after. If you want to leave us a voicemail with a question, comment, or review, go to whatfreshhellpodcast.com and click on the red tab on the right side of the screen. For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiffany Jenkins writes honestly about motherhood, her experience with opioid addiction, recovery, marriage, and life in her blog Juggling the Jenkins. Her memoir High Achiever: The Incredible True Story of One Addict’s Double Life, Jenkins provides an up-close portrait of the mind of an addict and the devastating effects of narcotics. Jenkins uses her platform to help and inspire others who are struggling with motherhood, mental health, addiction, and those who just need a good laugh. In this "Best of" episode, we talk about whether being “real” always equates to being a hot mess express, Tiffany’s approaches to dealing with anxiety, and how the all-mom audiences Tiffany meets on her “My Name is Not Mom” tour are bringing rock-star levels of enthusiasm. Find Tiffany Jenkins on Facebook and YouTube Hear us as guests on Tiffany’s podcast "Take it Or Leave It" And catch Tiffany on tour: https://mynameisnotmom.com/ Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode topic was suggested by Pam Marie in our Facebook group: What's your mom superpower? We often talk about what we get wrong, but what about the things you're really good at? Time to flex, What Fresh Hell community! Everyone needs an ‘Attaboy!’ every once in a while. And when you’re a mom, you usually have to give it to yourself. In this "Best of" episode, Amy brags about her X-ray recall of exactly where the shirt definitely *is* hanging in her son’s closet. Margaret explains that she’s a “super sniffer,” and you’ll have to listen to know what that’s all about. We discuss some of our listeners’ powers, as well. Whether you’re Eileen, whose kids have not been late to school once in seven years, or Sue, who has the superhuman ability to resist shouldering her children’s emotional burdens for them, we are truly impressed by all of your superpowers. Attaboy. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've got a high schooler who's starting the college process – and the part you're most dreading as a parent is drop-off day – you will probably identify with this "Best Of" Question of the Week: Hey ladies! A longtime listener here. How about an episode about Amy’s experience with her oldest off at college? I’m a mom who’s sending her first one away to school next year and my heart is already slowly breaking. Help! Good news: like a milestone birthday, the enormity of a kid leaving for college is way larger on the road ahead of you than it is in your rear-view mirror. It does cause great changes in your relationship with your child when they're not with you at the dinner table every night. The entire system really does transform when one family member is removed. But not all of the changes your family dynamic will undergo are bad. And if your teenager is giving you one-word answers while she's still at home, you may be surprised at how much she has to tell you once she's having these new experiences. In fact, these very show notes were interrupted for a lazy Sunday FaceTime with just such a first-year college student. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sending a kid to college these days can cost well into the six figures, whether you're looking at state universities or small private colleges. There's merit aid to be had, but how does one find it? How much should you be saving if your kid is in kindergarten? And why have the costs of college skyrocketed? Ron Lieber is the “Your Money” columnist for The New York Times and the author of several books, including The Opposite of Spoiled. His latest bestseller, named one of the "Best Books of 2021" by NPR and just out in paperback, is THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR COLLEGE: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make– a book about who pays what, and why, and how the whole system got so complicated... In this episode, Amy and Ron discuss: how the financial aid process is designed to confuse how early decision has changed the college application process, for better and worse how –and when– to talk to your kids honestly about what college will cost and what your family will be able to contribute some basic approaches and mindsets that will get you saving the right amounts now In this episode we also discuss Ron's article for The New York Times: "Early Decision Isn’t Binding. Let Us Explain." Find THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR COLLEGE in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/books/the-price-you-pay-for-college-an-entirely-new-road-map-for-the-biggest-financial-decision-your-family-will-ever-make/9780062867308 https://ronlieber.com/ @ronlieber on Twitter and Instagram Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Toddler meltdowns, stroller mayhem, ear infections. Doesn't that sound so relaxing? In this listener-sourced episode, moms everywhere unleash frustration over the "monsters" who have made their vacations difficult - nay, impossible. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Each week Margaret or Amy answers a listener's most pressing question. This week Margaret answers listener Jessica's question: How do you get your kids to keep their rooms clean? What about a playroom? And is it reasonable to take away ALL the toys if they never stay cleaned up? As a parent of "three non-cleaners," Margaret shares the rules in her house that help keep it reasonably clean. Got a question you'd like answered? Email us: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The dreaded question "When should my kid get a phone?" is one we're asked often. These days "whether" is not part of the equation, and the ages at which our kids' peers are getting phones seems younger than ever. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, author of the new book First Phone: A Child's Guide To Digital Responsibility, Safety, and Etiquette, is the founder of The Family Coach and a licensed clinical social worker who has been working with children and families for more than 25 years. First Phone– a book written not for parents, but for our kids– puts the risks and rewards of a phone in perspective for our children, and helps them consider what parameters they themselves might want to put on their phones and how they can use them wisely. In this episode, Catherine, Amy and Margaret discuss: What we often don't think about when we hand our kids their first phones [12:55] When kids should get their own social media accounts [17:55] How to teach kids about digital consent [31:00] Here's where you can find Catherine: www.thefamilycoach.com @thefamilycoach on FB/Twitter @thefamilycoachsays on IG Find Catherine's book in our bookshop: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593538333 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are the protagonist in our own story, but what happens when we become the antagonist in stories we weren't even aware of? Or when we assign antagonist roles to unsuspecting partners or kids? Amy and Margaret discuss why we as humans need to tell ourselves stories, when the stories we tell ourselves might stop serving us, and how we can change the stories we tell ourselves. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: why our brains are willing to ignore what doesn't fit our preconceived narratives [7:00] the concept of cognitive mediation, which is how stories are created 20:19] "taking things less personally" and the better approach to avoid feeling wounded by others' stories [28:06] how to rediscover the agency we have over the stories we tell ourselves [38:15] Here are links to the resources mentioned in the episode: Nick Wignall on Medium: "6 Reasons Why You Take Things Too Personally" "Cognitive Mediational Theory" in Alleydog.com's online glossary Esther Perel: How the Stories We Tell Ourselves Can Make or Break Us Kyle Benson for The Gottman Institute: There Are Two Views to Every Conflict and Both Are Valid Carl Alviani for Medium: The Science Behind Storytelling Kendall Haven: Your Brain on Story Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When do you start letting kids have sleepovers? They're going to start asking long before they're really ready, and the sleep deprivation can ruin everyone's weekends. Amy talks about her own experience and gives some successful sleepover tips, including daytime sleepovers and phone-free sleepovers. Got a question you'd like answered? Email us! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

JoAnn Crohn of No Guilt Mom is a parenting educator who helps moms feel confident in everything from raising empowered, self-sufficient kids to dropping the anxiety and guilt out of modern parenthood. No Guilt Mom offers self-paced digital courses in handling big emotions, getting kids to help out more, creating a morning routine, and conquering the homework drama. JoAnn is the co-host of the No Guilt Mom podcast, a former board-certified middle-school teacher, and a mom to 2 kids, ages 13 and 8. In this episode, Amy and JoAnn discuss: Why rewards charts taught as classroom strategies can often become counterproductive Why kids do well if they can [14:00] When rewards charts actually DO work [20:21] No Guilt Mom's HAPPY approach to parenting more effectively– while raising happier, more self-sufficient kids at the same time... [26:00] Here's where you can find JoAnn: @noguiltmom on FB/IG noguiltmom.com Here are the links to the podcast episodes Amy references: Fresh Take: Stacy Haynes on the Best Method to Help Kids Who Struggle Amy and Margaret's interview on the No Guilt Mom podcast Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended brand! Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Following our wildly popular "Why Is This a Thing?" episode, we asked our listeners what ISN'T a thing, but should be. From sunblock sprayer tubes to wider checkout lines to all-in-one laundry machines, the Hellions delivered some million-dollar ideas that Amy and Margaret are very tempted to retire on. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Margaret answers this week's listener question: "My daughter (5 years old next month) has started saying “I look fat in this sweater”. My daughter is a healthy weight and she is VERY active. I am unsure of how to manage/navigate these comments. I really don’t want her to have body image issues or to be dealing with this at such a young age. I have been very conscious since her birth not to comment on her appearance, and instead to reinforce the things her body does. I rarely say “you look so pretty"; instead I say “that’s a great outfit you picked”. I didn’t think I would have to deal with this so soon. Help!" Almost all of us have struggled with eating and body issues at some point in our lives, and it is important for us as parents to reframe the way we talk about food and our bodies and to model body acceptance (put on that swimsuit and get in the picture!) It's also important to honestly answer the questions that are asked. Don't shy away from responding to kids who ask if they look fat. Talk honestly about how bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and why and how our bodies change. In this episode, Margaret references this article from A Mighty Girl: When Your Daughter Says 'I'm Fat' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've spent a lot of time over the past couple of years reassuring ourselves that our kids would be okay, that we were doing our best, that we'd get them through this, that there could even be silver linings. But it's important to take stock of the costs to our children, as well, because they were considerable. Today's guest, Anya Kamenetz is the author of several acclaimed books on learning and the future, including The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life, and The Test: Why Our Schools Are Obsessed With Standardized Testing, But You Don’t Have To Be. Her latest book is The Stolen Year: How Covid Changed Children's Lives, and Where We Go Now. In this episode, Anya, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Why Anya says the United States got pandemic schooling "more wrong" than other wealthy countries How "years of neglect and bad faith" in public education contributed to what happened after our abrupt shift to remote schooling How we can create something better for the future Here's where you can find Anya: http://www.anyakamenetz.net/ Instagram: @anyakamenetz Twitter: @anya1anya Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After several years of doing this podcast, we know a lot about each other. In this "Best Of" episode, we ask the burning questions that remain, like: If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Who is your celebrity crush? (warning: #oldilocksalert) What was your worst job ever? What do you want to be when you grow up? What would you grab in a fire? We also mention a few of our favorite books, all of which are available in our Bookshop store. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 meal kit for eating well. Use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box, at GreenChef.com/fresh135. KiwiCo projects make summer more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids discover new interests! For a limited time, you’ll save $15 on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code LAUGHING. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without the sugar of gummies! Get $5 off with the code FRESH at renzosmagic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Amy answers: "How do I get Grandma to stop plopping the kids in front of screens?" Amy discusses how to give kids limits without seeming like the bad guy, suggests alternative engaging (and contained) activities for kids, and gives tips for discussing discipline tactics with other caregivers in your family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ericka Sóuter has over 20 years of journalism experience and is a regular contributor on Good Morning America and other national broadcast outlets. Ericka speaks to parents across the country about the issues, controversies, and trends most affecting families today. She's also the author of How to Have a Kid and Life: a Survival Guide. In this episode, Ericka and Margaret discuss: the greatest predictor of kids' socioemotional wellbeing [10:00] the six questions you should ask yourself every year [16:00] the "mom gene" [35:30] Here's where to find Ericka: @erickasouter on IG @erickasouter on Twitter @soundstrue on IG Order Erica's book here. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It is often difficult and painful to break parenting patterns that were harmful to us as children. But as Amy and Margaret explain using their own experiences, verified studies, and some slightly cultish Goop material, pattern breaking is entirely possible and may not be as hard as we fear. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Behaviors versus patterns Ways to notice and change our own patterns What it means to be morally neutral Links to resources mentioned in the episode: Karen Young for Hey Sigmund: Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Parenting – How to Silence Old Toxic Messages for Good "This Be The Verse" by Philip Larkin Robert Taibbi for Psychology Today: Breaking Old Patterns? Expect Psychological Withdrawal Goop Q&A with Liza Ingrasci, CEO of the Hoffman Institute Rough Draft by Katie Tur Join our Facebook group! (not a cult) Special thanks to this month's sponsors: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Margaret answers the question: I know Margaret has talked about giving in to Fortnite at her house. Well, I have too. My question is how do I discuss internet safety with my son (7) who wants to play online with his friends when I have no clue what playing online entails? I have never been a gamer and neither has my husband and I feel like we are flying blind. I don’t want to hold him back from socializing with friends, but I don’t want him to get into a bad situation either. Thank you guys! In this situation (especially at 7 years old) it's important to dial in and be involved in how your kid is playing. Make sure the gaming setup is in an area you (the parents) frequent. You don't need to know how to game to overhear inappropriate comments and keep an overall eye on how your gamer is behaving. Set strict expectations around your rules for gaming and outline the consequences if they are not followed, and have conversations around violence and language that your gamer may encounter. If you have questions for Margaret or Amy, send them to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jill Smokler became an authentic voice for millions of imperfect moms through her website Scary Mommy, which Jill launched in 2008. It began as a chronicle of Jill’s stay-at-home days with her children and transformed into a vibrant community of women brought together by a common theme — parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Now Jill is back with a new chapter and a new podcast - She's Got Issues. Jill, Amy and Margaret talk about what it means for life to have different chapters and how we navigate those chapters (and changes) especially when they take us to unexpected places. Where to find Jill: She's Got Issues podcast IG: @shesgotissuesmedia Sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this crowd-sourced episode, the listeners in our Facebook group came up with some excruciating would-you-rathers for Amy and Margaret to answer. (Not surprisingly, Amy analyzes all the options while Margaret goes with her gut.) In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: What their kids' names REALLY are Rat backpacks The horror of perma-noisemakers Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when our grade schooler comes home with an invitation to go on a date? Amy talks about her own experience with her middle schooler dating, how to address the situation without overreacting, and how to contextualize young love in the grander scheme of things. If you have a question for Amy or Margaret ask away in our Facebook group! facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Mangino, PhD, is a gender expert and professional facilitator who has been working internationally for nearly 20 years. She is the author of the new book Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equity at Home, an informed guide about how readers can rewrite harmful gender norms and create greater household equity. Find out more about Kate at her website: https://www.katemangino.com Find Kate on Twitter: @ManginoKate Pre-order Kate's book here Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every kid will experience some kind of rejection, and some will have an easier time of it than others. How do we validate our kids' feelings while giving them the tools to move through the pain of rejection? Links: Kid Friend Breakups Fresh Take with Taylor Harris Fresh Take with Lisa Heffernan How to Identify and Help a Socially Rejected Child What Should I Do When My Child Doesn't Make the Team? Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be by Frank Bruni Our merch store! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Margaret advises a listener who is worried that her 9-year-old does not seem to have a wide enough range of interests. Is there anything she can do to help him expand his interests beyond screens, half-hearted participation in Scouts, and basically chilling out most of the day? Submit your questions to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gloria Riviera is the host of the podcast "No One is Coming to Save Us" from Lemonada Media, which covers America’s childcare crisis and the people of all ages who are crushed by it. Gloria spent over twenty years as an ABC News producer and correspondent covering breaking, investigative and feature stories around the world for shows including Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She shares with us why and how the childcare system in America is broken and what exactly we can do about it, both as individuals and on a larger scale. In this episode, Gloria, Amy, and Margaret discuss: how sexism and racism fuel the childcare crisis how the recent baby formula shortage fits into the picture what lasting childcare reform looks like Follow Gloria on Twitter: @griviera and find "No One is Coming to Save Us" in your podcast app! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. BetterHelp makes it easy, convenient, and affordable to talk to a certified therapist online. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Ladder Life knows there's no time like the present to cross something as important as life insurance off your list. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save fifteen dollars on your child’s first class when you go to outschool.com/laughing and use code laughing. Pinhook bourbons and ryes are released in vintages, just like wines, and each year’s vintage is a little different. Visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to learn more or text laughing to 859-800-7848. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Grow your business with Shopify today. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked the listeners to tell us their extremely minor annoyances of motherhood-- the smaller and more seemingly inconsequential, the better, because it turns out those are things that really make us loco. From soggy bath toys, to pushing swings, to the toddler who spins around and offers the wrong arm to be put into the held-up coat sleeve, here are many of the teeny-tiny things that drive moms insane. Join the fun on our Facebook page! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Flying with little ones this summer? It's always a little extra complicated. Listener Diane asked: "My husband and I are flying from Philadelphia to Texas. My kids have never flown before. Any advice for air travel with little kids?" Amy says the two keys to successful flights with little ones are preparation and options, and in this episode she explains: how to know for sure what your kid will watch before you get on the plane why you might actually want to be the LAST ones on the plane (not the first) and why you can never have too many Ziploc bags. Resources mentioned in this episode: From Common Sense Media: "Best Kids' Apps to Download Before a Flight" Wiki Stix Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Casey is the host of Reality Life with Kate Casey, one of the highest-rated podcasts devoted to unscripted television. Three times a week she interviews talent, directors, producers, and hosts of television’s most popular reality shows, docuseries, and documentaries. Kate talks with Margaret about raising five kids, her favorite reality shows, and why true crime is the thing that makes us tick. Here's where you can find Kate: Facebook group: Reality Life with Kate Casey IG: @katecaseyc Tik Tok: Itskatecasey Twitter: @katecasey Patreon: Patreon.com/katecasey Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: AprilAire is Healthy Air, with professional-grade solutions filling millions of homes. To find out more about the AprilAire Healthy Air System®, visit www.aprilaire.com/fresh. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. BetterHelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. Green Chef is the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well. Go to greenchef.com/fresh135 and use code fresh135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. Make summer more awesome with KiwiCo! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook vintages are a little different and feature an up-and-coming thoroughbred on each label. Text “laughing” to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're locked in a battle of tug-o-war it can be extremely exhausting to keep up the fight. But there is a solution: dropping the rope. It may seem counterintuitive, but when you're in the middle of a conflict you've had many times before– when you're fighting for something that seems very important, or at least obvious– and then suddenly drop the rope, you're allowing the space for something different to occur. Here are the links to the resources we mentioned in the episode: Jen Lumanlan for Your Parenting Mojo: "Want to stop playing Tug of War with your child?" Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on How to Manage Our Anxiety Our bookshop! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our listener Jenny says: "My husband and I love your podcast, and I listen to every episode while I make dinner. He hates clutter and especially the annoying plastic toys that family always seems to be giving our 15-month-old. How do we get family members to stop giving us cheap plastic annoying toys every time they see our kid? We'd love to instill a present policy that involves them putting the money they would have spent into a savings fund for him... but just aren't sure how to stop the random, every-time-we-see-them gifts." While the idea of letting more plastic into your home may seem like a nightmare, it's not necessarily a good idea to insert your values into other people's gift giving philosophies, as Margaret explains. It's certainly within your right to express a preference for your child. Here's how to do it nicely. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amber Briggle and her family live in Texas. Amber is the mom of two kids, Max and Lulu, and on her website "Love To The Max," Amber shares the family's real stories and experiences as a trans-inclusive family. Amber describes herself as "just a mom," but the events of the last few years have made her a powerful advocate for the rights of kids and families like her own. She was a founding member (and former national co-chair) of the “Parents for Transgender Equality Council”, part of the Human Rights Campaign. Amber currently serves as the “Equal Opportunity Issue” Chair for the League of Women Voters of Texas. In this moving and illuminating episode, Amber talks about her experience parenting her transgender son and the breadth of emotions and experiences that come with it. In this episode, Amber, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Amber's son Max's transition journey The best ways to support trans kids The anti-trans legislation currently in effect and under consideration in the U.S. NOTE: Since we recorded this episode, a lawyer for the state of Texas has confirmed that the child abuse investigation into the Briggle family has been lifted. A Texas judge has temporarily blocked the child abuse investigations of other parents of trans youth in the state, but those investigations remain in effect. Here's where you can find Amber: Her website: https://lovetothemax.net/ Facebook: /amberbriggle Twitter: @mrsbriggle Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked the moms in our Facebook group about times they caught their spouses being awesome. Maybe it's supporting us in our difficult career choices. Maybe it's reading books on certain issues to do with our kids. Maybe it's brushing hair. (But don't get Amy started on that last one!) In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Being good vs. being awesome Subverting gender roles in the home Qualities you wish for in a boyfriend vs. in a husband Here are links to the resources mentioned in the episode: "Flying the Coop" episode from Reply All podcast (Margaret's rec) Our Fresh Take episode with Matthew Fray on Strengthening Our Relationships The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross Greene Check out our merch! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook Kentucky bourbon is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything! Each year's vintage is a little different and features an up-and-coming thoroughbred on its label. Text "laughing" to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper- or visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to chat with a one right on their website! Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you need a reset around the yelling in your house– namely, your own? Are certain times (bathtime, homework time, putting screens away time) a consistent battle? Amy's best tip to tame the yelling comes from something she heard from a dog trainer! "Never repeat a cue twice" is one of the basic tenets of dog training. If you tell a dog to "sit" but eventually that becomes "Sit. Sit.... Sit!... SIT!!" your dog will eventually sit, once you seem upset enough, but what you will be inadvertently training your dog to do is to wait for the fourth time that command is repeated before complying. In this "Ask Amy," Amy explains how performing a reset using this tenet– stop repeating what you're asking more than once, i.e. until you yell– can yield surprising results, and reads a listener email from a mom of a rambunctious 2-year-old who is "in shock" at how well this has worked in her house! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's guest, Dr. Ibram X. Kendi, is the author of many highly acclaimed books including Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America, which won the National Book Award for Nonfiction. In 2020, Time magazine named Dr. Kendi one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Dr. Kendi was awarded a 2021 MacArthur Fellowship, popularly known as the Genius Grant. His new book, released just this week, is How To Raise An Antiracist. In this interview, Dr. Kendi explains: why caregivers cannot protect young people from racism by ignoring what’s happening to our children why teaching antiracism is the best way to protect our children from racism's harms why children have an easier time understanding these ideas than we might think how putting off conversations about race, or giving kids the message that racism is unmentionable, can make our children prey to more sinister messaging It is never too early, or too late, to start raising our kids to be antiracist. Get How To Raise An Antiracist in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593242537 and find out more on Dr. Kendi's website: https://ibramxkendi.com Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From how to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup, to *not* saving the pandas, to the forever-ban of helium balloons, our listeners are willing to die on some pretty tiny hills. Here's what mountains you all are making out of mole hills– plus a few of our own tiny battles. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've talked a lot about picky eating on the podcast but if you're looking less for advice and more for 'how does it all turn out?' then this is the episode for you! This week Kristina asks, "I was listening to an episode where Margaret described her extremly picky son and the anxiety she felt. She was basically describing my daughter. That episode is from 2016 so I'm curious does anyone know if he's expanded his diet or does anyone have any uplifting stories about extremely picky kids who improve over time? Honestly I'd be happy if she's just having less anxiety at the table - not looking for advice because I've read everything!" This week Margaret offers an update on how her picky son is eating 5 years later - and the answers may surprise you! Check out other WFH episodes on picky eating here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/your-picky-eater/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/ask-amy-my-kid-gags-at-foods-he-used-to-like/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/is-this-battle-worth-fighting/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/highly-sensitive-and-under-sensitive-kids/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Swenson is a mom to four kids, a wife, and a proud Minnesotan. She regularly writes and creates videos about her life as a mother and an autism advocate for her website "Finding Cooper's Voice," a living, thriving community of people who not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Kate's book Forever Boy: A Mother's Memoir of Autism and Finding Joy is out now. Kate is also the founder of the nonprofit The More Than Project, which supports the needs of special needs families that go beyond the needs of their special needs child. In this episode we discuss Kate's journey to finding the correct diagnosis for her child what led her to put her story out into the world the sometimes-loneliness of special needs parenting, and how the Finding Cooper's Voice community offers insight, support, and fellowship Get FOREVER BOY in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780778311997 and follow @findingcoopersvoice on Facebook and Instagram. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook Kentucky bourbon is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything! Each year's vintage is a little different and features an up-and-coming thoroughbred on its label. Text "laughing" to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper- or visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to chat with a one right on their website! Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gloria DeGaetano, parenting expert and founder of the Parent Coaching Institute, recently wrote: "There's almost not a word to express the stress parents are under right now. 'Overwhelmed' doesn't cut it. It's beyond anything we've ever experienced." War in Ukraine. Shootings in grade schools. Inflation rates way up. Covid rates way up. This really is a strange and scary moment for all of us, and parenting through our own anxiety is proving a special challenge. In this episode we discuss how to parent bravely– which doesn't mean parenting in denial, but does mean creating emotional safety for our families even when we don't have all the answers. If you found this episode helpful, check out these past episodes as well: Fresh Take: Christina Hillsberg on How Being a Spy Prepared Her For Parenting Helping Kids Feel Secure In a Scary World (With Guest Dr. Abigail Gewirtz) Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: The Daily: Another Elementary School Massacre Dan Sinker for Esquire: Parenting in the Time of School Shootings Crystal Woodman Miller: A Kids' Book About School Shootings Kidpower.org: How To Choose Safety in Scary Times Ariana Eunjung Cha for Washington Post: ‘It’s like a fire alarm every day’ Alison Snyder et al for Axios: Parents Aren't All Right Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook Kentucky bourbon is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything! Each year's vintage is a little different and features an up-and-coming thoroughbred on its label. Text "laughing" to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper- or visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to chat with a one right on their website! Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener wrote: I am in a mom funk. I always wanted to be a mom, but I underestimated the amount of work and sacrifice it takes to be a mom. I’m exhausted. I feel like I never get a chance to catch my breath and be ready to be a mom the next morning when my kids wake up, and I spend most of the day with my kids just trying to make it to bedtime. My kids are seven and four, and I really thought that parenting would have gotten easier by now... but I feel just as burned out and depleted as when they were toddlers, perhaps even more now that they both talk (non-stop) and have so many opinions about everything. Not to mention the endless tantrums and meltdowns which I thought would have ended at least two years ago. My husband works long hours and I’m solo-parenting 90% of the time. When my husband is home he needs to sleep and wants to relax and has so little time to be with the kids, let alone actually help with any house work. How do I get through this and still be a good mom at the same time? Being a parent right now feels hopeless and endless and relentless and I’m stuck. Sometimes I find myself wondering why I had kids at all when I feel this depleted. Amy explains that this "mom funk" has another name: burnout. And it's not that we need to adjust our mindset and just push through it--it's that our practical circumstances need to change. Here are links to some of the resources Amy mentions in the episode: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Amelia and Emily Nagoski The WHO's updated definition of burnout Special thanks to our sponsor: Pinhook Kentucky bourbon is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything! Each year's vintage is a little different and features an up-and-coming thoroughbred on its label. Text "laughing" to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper- or visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to chat with a one right on their website! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lynyetta Willis is a psychologist and family empowerment coach who helps smart, successful women (and their families) stop the unhelpful patterns that keep them stuck, so they can create more joy in their parenting or partnerships. In this "Best Of" re-release, Dr. Willis tells us what it means to live in "stable misery." We discuss her framework for changing those patterns and finding more joy and harmony in our lives as partners and as parents. You will love this joyful, insightful interview! Here are links to some of Dr. Willis's programs that we discuss in this episode. Find out more at drlwillis.com Trigger Score Quiz Partnership Gameplan PATHS Framework Infographic Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Pinhook Kentucky bourbon is the perfect gift for the guy who has everything! Each year's vintage is a little different and features an up-and-coming thoroughbred on its label. Text "laughing" to (859) 800-7848 to get connected with a personal shopper- or visit pinhookbourbon.com/laughing to chat with a one right on their website! Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Mom rage" is a thing, and it feels shameful because it feels so far from where we are supposed to be as mothers and as women. Writer Anne Lamott called it "a closely guarded secret, as if the myth of maternal bliss is so sacrosanct that we can't even admit these feelings to ourselves." But it's more universal than we admit, and its triggers more predictable. There are also practical ways we can all recognize it sooner when it might be building within ourselves. In this episode, we discuss: how a "sequence of provocations" can dramatically increase anger why lack of sleep is a major cause of mom rage things that work to lengthen our fuses If you found this episode useful, here are some other episodes of ours you might listen to next: Fresh Take: Carla Naumburg Tells Us How To Stop Losing It With Our Kids (May 2021) Sometimes We Lose It (Dec 2018) Yelling Less (May 2017) Here are links to some of the resources we mentioned in the episode: @momuninterrupted on Instagram: "Nighttime Parenting" Anne Lamott for Salon: "Mother Rage: Theory and Practice" Pallavi Pundir for Vice: ‘It’s Like I Was Possessed’: Women Reveal the Deepest, Darkest Moments of Their ‘Mom Rage’ Minna Dubin for The New York Times: "The Rage Mothers Don’t Talk About" Minna Dubin for The New York Times: ‘I Am Going to Physically Explode’: Mom Rage in a Pandemic NBC Boston: What Is Mom Rage? Why Are So Many Women Feeling It? Mairead Heffron for Image: The secret rage of motherhood: ‘I never imagined that my child could be both the trigger and target of my anger’ Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Faherty is a family-run brand making high-quality, timeless clothing with modern design and functionality. Head to fahertybrand.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to snag 20% off. Firstleaf is a no-brainer if you love finding and tasting new wine! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to tryfirstleaf.com/LAUGHING. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved for up to $3 million in term life insurance. Outschool helps kids explore their interests and discover new ones! Save $15 on your child’s first class at outschool.com/laughing with the code LAUGHING. Peloton has workouts or everyone. And the Peloton Bike+ is now $500 less, its best price yet, including FREE delivery and setup! Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Shopify powers millions of businesses, from first sale to full-scale. Go to shopify.com/fresh for a free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener wrote in with this question: When does the refusing to eat dinner phase pass? My 2.5 year old rarely eats dinner. I try to hold firm about not making special meals, but she refuses everything. She gets a pretty healthy lunch daily, but I still worry. She gets too much sugar and carbs overall, and not enough veggies and protein. She used to like all sorts of food and now she's fully on kid food like mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and grilled cheese. How do I make sure she's getting enough healthy food in her diet without driving us both crazy! Margaret brings in a reassuring "biological imperative" to explain why kids start getting picky about their food as they become toddlers. And while it may seem like what little ones eat is a very big deal, it's not at all unusual for them to live on grilled cheeses for a while. Here are links to our other episodes that Margaret mentions: Fresh Take: Amee Severson on Intuitive Eating For Our Families Your Picky Eater Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was first recorded in July 2021, before the recent mass shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde, not to mention the ongoing horrors of war in Ukraine. We hope it might be useful for a relisten right now, as many of us struggle with what to tell our kids, how much, and when. If we don't give the kids any context, some older kid in the cafeteria might become their primary source of (mis)information. We discuss what age is old enough for difficult topics, what to do when the story is close to home, and how we can always lead with reassurance– plus the best ways to consume the news with, and in front of, our kids. GoFundMe has established an online hub of verified fundraisers supporting victims and loved ones affected by the shooting in Uvalde, Texas, which you can find here. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Paul Underwood for NYT: Is the News Too Scary for Kids? NPR Parenting: What To Say To Kids When the News Is Scary Liz Gumbinner: No, I Don't Know. Please Don't Tell Me Common Sense Media: Best News Sources for Kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What makes us introverts or extroverts– and why do so many of us choose our total opposites for our parenting partners? In this episode we talk about the myths of introverts and extroverts, why opposites attract, and how to parent kids who are also your total opposites. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: The ways that introverts and extroverts solve problems How they navigate being the opposite of their partners How to advocate for your kids depending on their social orientation Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Natalie Arroyo Camacho for Well & Good: "3 Obstacles To Expect From an Introvert-Extrovert Relationship—Plus Whether It Can Work at All" Rodney B. Lawn et al: "Quiet Flourishing: The Authenticity and Well-Being of Trait Introverts Living in the West Depends on Extraversion-Deficit Beliefs" Healthline: "Are You an Extrovert? Here’s How to Tell" R. L. LaFevers for Wired: Tips For Introverted Parents Raising Extroverted Kids R. L. LaFevers for Wired: Are You Raising An Introvert? Are You an Introvert? Take this assessment Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener posted this on our Facebook page: What is up with my 5-year-old? All of a sudden she is talking back, yelling at the top of her lungs, not listening, kicking and screaming, throwing tantrums, throwing things at me, and giving me teenager vibes. (I do not allow any of this behavior in my house.) I’m at a loss for what to do. Is this boundary-seeking behavior? Is something happening at school? Is it because I’m working more? Is it a phase? We’ve been sending her to her room to chill out because no one wants to hang with a banshee, but she screams and screams while throwing her stuff everywhere and kicking the walls. She goes immediately into red brain and it’s a 30 minute process for her to calm down and talk to me. Really excited to spend summer break with an insane asylum escapee. It’s starting to rub off on the 2 year old. If you find yourself saying "What is wrong with this kid?" it's always good to pause and ask if there is actually something wrong. Kids who are having headaches or stomachaches can express that distress in the most baffling of ways. But as children grow, they alternate between stages of equilibrium and disequilibrium, so it's also possible that your suddenly-banshee child is entering a developmentally appropriate phase. Even if it's driving you batty. Figuring out what works to address it– at your child's actual level of maturity– is key. Amy gives advice towards how to assess the situation. Here's the link to the book Amy mentions: Your Six-Year-Old: Defiant But Loving, by Louise Bates Ames Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matthew Fray is a relationship coach who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes that he did. He's a 43-year-old single father who is best known for his viral blog post "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." Fray is the author of the new book "This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships." Matthew gives us wonderful, poignant insights into how to validate our partners, find out their true needs, and re-establish trust when we've lost it. In this episode, Matthew, Margaret, and Amy discuss: Why we may not realize we're betraying our partner's trust Matthew's hierarchy of needs in relationships Why couples always have the same fight Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Maslow's hierarchy of needs Matthew's recent article in The Atlantic Our episode with Eve Rodsky on changing the invisible workload Here's where you can find Matthew: matthewfray.com Buy Matthew's book FB: @matthewfrayMBTTTR IG: @frayrelationships Twitter: @MBTTTR Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked you, our listeners, what unwelcome surprises you've experienced in your parenting journey, and boy, did you deliver! From bodily functions to keeping kids' clothes on to teaching them how to sit in a chair for the hundredth time, we collectively wonder how the human race has survived so long--and whether or not ants have lungs. Here are links to the WFH episodes we mentioned: Why Are Our Kids Such Total Opposites? Fresh Take: Taylor Harris on Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the Unknown When To Be 'That Mom' Here's the link to the original FB thread for this episode Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of our listeners asked: How do you navigate responding to family members who demand hugs and kisses from kids? My husband’s family is full of huggy-kissy people. When leaving after a visit, my in-laws lay it on hard with their requests (which feel more like demands) for my 3-year-old to give them a goodbye hug and kiss. Sometimes she doesn't want to, and if she doesn't want to, I don’t force her. But she gets a lot of pressure from the grandparents expecting the physical affection. I want my children to feel comfortable but don’t know how to get all family members on board without hurt feelings. Margaret discusses how to make a plan for saying goodbye to friends and family that works for your child and doesn't invoke too much objection or conflict from the other party. Here are the links to the resources Margaret mentions in the episode: Meghan Holohan for Today: "Why experts say you shouldn't make your kids kiss relatives at Thanksgiving" Don't Hug Doug by Carrie Finison Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxiety expert Lynn Lyons and co-host Robin Hutson created the podcast FLUSTERCLUX to help anxious kids and anxious families, which are usually one and the same. Lynn Lyons has trained hundreds of teachers, school nurses, counselors and parents about managing anxiety. In this episode, Lynn, Robin, and Amy discuss: Why reassurance doesn't always placate kids' anxieties Why anxiety craves certainty– and how we can unwittingly "do the disorder" in trying to reassure anxious kids How to model moving through uncertainty for our kids How perfectionism feeds anxiety in kids Here's where you can find Robin and Lynn: flusterclux.com @flusterclux on FB and Instagram Lynn Lyons' book The Anxiety Audit is available for preorder now "Flusterclux" podcast Finding Joy Inside and Out Family Retreat Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s DreamPowder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeedis the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Margaret and Amy both deal with Covid in their households, they wonder how they ever thought it was over and when the "new normal" will feel truly normal, if ever. They give both optimistic and realistic assessments of the future as they try to imagine one that's forever changed, but also better than before. And they both agree that you should cheer on everyone who is running the New York City Marathon, whether they're your sister, a cop, or a ballerina. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Moments they each thought "Covid was ovah" The third quarter phenomenon Mourning things they've missed due to Covid Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Brandon Ambrosino for BBC: "Why it will be so hard to return to ‘normal’" Dan Sinker for Esquire: "If We're Back to 'Normal,' Why Am I Still So Exhausted All the Time?" Debra Caplan's thread on Twitter Kate Bowler's book No Cure for Being Human, Margaret's rec Nathan Smith and Gro Mjeldheim Sandal: "The third-quarter phenomenon: the psychology of time in space" "When Can We Start Saying Yes?" WFH episode where we talk about said phenomenon Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s DreamPowder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeedis the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener asks: I had my first child (and only child, so far) 18 months ago. It was a really rough experience for me and my husband: traumatic birth, intense breastfeeding struggles, very colicky baby that really did not sleep much, no support due to COVID, and I had PPD. My husband and I are really only just starting to feel sort of okay again in the last few months. Here's my issue. Within the last six months several of my friends have had their first babies. None of them are having even close to the intense/terrible experience that my husband and I did. Intellectually, I am happy about this because I love my friends, and I don't wish bad things on them! However, emotionally I seem to be struggling with watching all of them sail through (relatively speaking) something that was 100% the hardest, darkest time of my life. When I hear/see them having such an easy time I sometimes feel angry, or even like I want to cry. I hate feeling this way, and it makes me feel like a bad person/terrible friend. Has anyone else had a really rough birth/newborn experience, and then struggled when seeing other people have better experiences? Am I a terrible person for not being able to be fully happy for my friends who are having such an easier time? It's important to give yourself time and space to heal when you've suffered trauma of any kind. Amy kindly helps our listener understand that her feelings are completely justified, she is allowed to give herself a break, and that no, she's not the only one who has ever felt this way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

KC Davis is the creator of the mental health platform Struggle Care, where she shares a revolutionary approach to self and home care for those dealing with mental health, physical illness, and hard seasons of life. She is a licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and advocate for mental health and recovery. Her new book is How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing. Does just glancing in your messy playroom make you want to lie down and nap? We all get overwhelmed when we see our chaotic houses as endless "to-clean" lists that we never complete. KC Davis has simple and easy-to-implement strategies for making cleaning up functional--and giving you small wins along the way that really count. In this episode, KC, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to take a new perspective on cleaning The five different categories of things in any given mess How to involve kids in cleaning house without tears (theirs OR yours) Here's where you can find KC: https://www.strugglecare.com/about Instagram/Facebook: @strugglecare Twitter: @KCDavisSays You can purchase KC's book, How to Keep House While Drowning, here. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s DreamPowder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeedis the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're revisiting one of our all-time favorite episodes, in which we review listener grudges, large and small, and deciding once and for all if those listeners should let it go, or no. Letting it go doesn't mean you're wrong to be annoyed. Sometimes you are totally right and you STILL have to let it go. And sometimes nursing a tiny bonsai grievance for a decade is sort of fun... but that works better when you aren't related to that person. Sometimes shifting our perspective is the best choice we have. As Margaret's Aunt Terry likes to say: you can't get pizza from a Chinese restaurant. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Aura Frame turns your family’s past into the perfect gift, bringing all your favorite photos and videos together in one high-resolution display. Get up to $40 off while supplies last by visiting auraframes.com/FRESH. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Credit Karma helps you find low-interest personal loans that may well have lower interest rates than your credit cards do now! Head to creditkarma.com/loanoffers to see your personalized offers. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Native deodorant and other body care products are paraben-free on the inside, and now plastic-free on the outside! Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/fresh or with promo code FRESH. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty tabs” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When kids are born, your friends and family will want to see them! Which is lovely, but hosting family while juggling a new baby or a houseful of kids can be exhausting. This week Em from Australia asks: Margaret - you say you go to stay with family for holidays, have family stay with you for holidays and leave kids with family so you yourself can go on holidays. Amazing! Question - do you have any ground rules or tips and tricks for having family stay with you? My husband and I live interstate from both of our families so if they visit they stay with us. We don't live in a large house and we're finding the line between hospitality and what we can handle hard to draw. How can we simplify our approach? Margaret's response touches on these three principles: When kids are with family, that family's rules apply. If your kids eat way more ice cream than they do at home, that's OK. Set ground rules for family who visits you. You get to determine when it is a good time for you to have visitors and how long they should stay. You have veto power on all visits. Work from your place of maximum generosity. Remember that your parents and in-laws are longing to see your kids. But be clear on what you can handle... then when you get pushback, remember that "No" is a complete sentence! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Iris Chen was raised in the "tiger parenting" model, and began her parenting journey using similarly authoritarian and strict tactics– until she considered whether there might be another path, an approach to parenting that was rooted in partnership rather than in power. So Iris founded the "Untigering" movement, exploring a more peaceful parenting approach, and wrote the book "Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent." In this episode, Margaret, Amy, and Iris discuss: Navigating parenting at the intersection of American and Chinese identities The turning point for Iris when she decided to "untiger" How we all can practice peaceful parenting in our daily lives Find Iris on social media @untigering and at https://untigering.com/. Buy her UNTIGERING book here! Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this bonus episode, Amy and Margaret discuss what they read, watch, and listen to between recording episodes of "What Fresh Hell." It involves stuffy upper class drawing rooms, brushes with death, and being "22." What We're Watching "The Thing About Pam" on Peacock Michael Clayton "Bridgerton" on Netflix "Dopesick" on Hulu "Sanditon" on PBS Masterpiece (Erica's pick!) "Gilded Age" on HBO (Sarah's pick!) Les Miserables (2012) "Station 11" on HBO Engaged to a Psycho (2020) on Lifetime What We're Reading: View Amy's reading list here. View Margaret's reading list here. I am I am I am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell The Deep Places: A Memoir of Illness and Discovery by Ross Douthat Colleen Hoover's books In Her Boots by KJ Dell'Antonia The Chicken Sisters by KJ Dell'Antonia Blueprint for a Book by Jennie Nash The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness by Meghan O'Rourke "The Stolen Kids of Sara Lawrence" by Ezra Marcus and James D. Walsh The complete works of J.D. Salinger (Aren't they great???) What We're Listening To: Here's our Spotify playlist of our "currently listening" podcasts "Folklore" and "Evermore" by Taylor Swift Check out the Audm app for longform journalism in audio format (Margaret's rec) Check out the Pocket app for saving reading material for later (Amy's rec) We love our sponsors! Check out the promo codes available through this month's sponsors here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who makes the parenting rules? And how bendable are they? From picky eaters to sleep routines to playing outside, we all have to navigate the line between what we supposedly should and shouldn't allow as parents. But sometimes it's okay to break the rules if it works for you and your family. Amy and Margaret dive into the details in this listener-driven episode. In this episode, Margaret and Amy discuss: the different types of parenting rules which parenting rules they have broken "YOYO" dinners Other episodes we mention: Amee Severson on Intuitive Eating Ask Amy: Helping Kids Deal with Comparison and Envy Christina Martin on How Children Learn Through Play Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The discomfort and distress of a child experiencing separation anxiety can be hard to hear. The best responses are consistency and a heavy dose of reassurance. A listener recently posted in our Facebook group: My just-turned-4 year old has started experiencing separation anxiety both when going to preschool and when staying home with our regular babysitter . (My husband and I both work from home and I don’t know if it’s worse for her to know we are there.) On school days she says she feels like she’s going to throw up, then they call us to come get her. On days we are working from home, we end up having the sitter leave because she is sobbing uncontrollably. Another factor: she has two older siblings. When they are also home, she is not anxious about their all being left with a sitter. I did not experience separation anxiety with my older two kids at this age. We are trying to be compassionate and reassuring but we also need to work during the times she is in care, so we need to fix this soon. I need your ideas and strategies! Separation anxiety is a phase that many kids go through when they start spending more time away from their parents at school or daycare. Amy has some strategies for helping your little one understand that no, crying and screaming will not make you magically appear to pick them up, but yes, you will indeed come back for them at the end of the day. Amy references this book in this episode: The Kissing Hand and this song: "Grownups Come Back" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mary Laura Philpott is the author of the national bestseller I MISS YOU WHEN I BLINK, and the brand-new memoir BOMB SHELTER: LOVE, TIME, AND OTHER EXPLOSIVES, which is out now. You can also find her writing in publications including the Atlantic, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Real Simple. Mary Laura's moving memoir touches on why parenting is a paradox, her own experiences as a parent navigating the unknown, and what it means to be an "anxious optimist." In this episode, Amy, Margaret, and Mary discuss: Just who the turtle on the cover of Mary's book is Where the title "Bomb Shelter" originated from Why we feel the need to "follow the rules" of the universe in exchange for leniency Here's where you can find Mary on the web: www.marylauraphilpott.com Instagram: @marylauraphilpott Twitter: @MaryLauraPh Order Mary's new book Bomb Shelter here Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does it feel like I do all the work around here? Why can't my partner take on a little more? Why does a dad get to go on Good Morning America for DOING HIS DAUGHTER'S HAIR TWICE A WEEK?? There is evidence (statistical evidence, not just tears and bloodshed evidence) that having kids reduces marital harmony. And for a woman, the birth of a child often means taking on a second shift while her partner's routine may barely be interrupted. So how can we communicate with our partners to find labor divisions that work for everyone? In this episode, Margaret and Amy discuss: What the science says about relationships post-children Signs that a partnership is operating unsustainably Tips for how to start the conversation about dividing up parenting responsibilities Episodes we mentioned: Making It Work for the Long Haul (with Belinda Luscombe) episode Parenting as a Team episode The Infamous "Husband Crimes" episode Resources mentioned in the episode: What Happens to a Marriage After Having Children? Fighting Constantly After Baby? Read This. 9 Signs That a Relationship Just Can't Be Saved And a bonus from the Husband Crimes archives: Kurt Vonnegut's attempt at gender equity. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener posted on our Facebook page: "I’m wondering if any other moms on here have been diagnosed with breast cancer? I was just diagnosed and am terrified. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday to get more information, but I am just looking for advice from someone who has been there on how to discuss this with my kids." Margaret talks about her own experience with her mother's breast cancer diagnosis when she was young and offers some helpful research on this difficult topic. Here are the links to the resources mentioned in the episode. The Reach to Recovery program Some suggested children's books about understanding cancer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxiety is a natural response to stress. Sometimes it’s even useful, like when it alerts us to danger. But when anxiety grips our children, they often don’t (can’t) explain how they’re feeling, and their inner turmoil can take over. In this episode we discuss: coping strategies for all ages and stages how anxiety in children can be easy to miss the negative behaviors anxious kids might exhibit why letting our kids avoid anxiety-causing situations is counterproductive how anxiety "lives in the future” We also interview Dr. Lisa Damour about her book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Dr. Damour’s book is full of empathetic insight and useful takeaways for helping our anxious daughters (and sons). Here’s links to other research and writing discussed in this episode: Lindsay Holmes for Huffington Post Life: 10 Things People Get Wrong About Anxiety Liz Matheis for anxiety.org: Identifying Signs of Anxiety in Children CDC: Data and Statistics on Children's Mental Health Metropolitan CBT: About Anxiety Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we imagine peer pressure, we imagine coming to the rescue by slapping drugs and alcohol out of our kids' hands after their friends undoubtedly tell them they should definitely try some. But peer pressure--who feels it, why, and exactly WHAT kids are being pressured to do--is a complex issue. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: The biological imperative adolescents have to take risks in front of their peers What kids report actually feeling peer pressured to do- the answers aren't what expected How to actually prepare our kids to counter the peer pressure they face Here are links to past episodes with similar topics: "When Other Kids Are Bad Influences" "What Is Up With Teenagers?" Here are links to resources mentioned in this episode: Juliana Menasce Horowitz and Nikki Graf for the Pew Research Center: "Most U.S. Teens See Anxiety and Depression as a Major Problem Among Their Peers" Centerstone.org: "What is Peer Pressure and Who is at Risk?" Science Daily: "Peer pressure? It's hardwired into our brains, study finds" Laurence Steinberg and Kathryn C. Monahan: Age Differences in Resistance to Peer Influence Jess Shatkin, Born to Be Wild: Why Teens Take Risks, and How We Can Help Keep Them Safe Jessica Lahey, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever have a kid with a long face in the back seat at school pickup because they were NOT chosen as "Student of the Week"? A listener emailed us to ask: How do you help your kid work through comparison and envy? My child is in 3rd grade and experiencing many emotions around "unfairness" and jealousy. Not so much about material things, like "this kid has X and I don't." More like "this kid is the teacher's pet and gets (or appears to get) special privileges that I don't." No surprise, my child is an aspiring teacher's pet, but doesn't perceive that they're getting the same attention and/or opportunities. I don't think it's something I should address at school. It's not that anyone is doing something wrong. More of a "life isn't always fair" lesson that's creating big 3rd-grade emotions. We can't smooth every negative emotion from our children's experiences, and we shouldn't even try. If our kids have to move through the very human emotions of jealousy and frustration, they'll develop the resilience that we want them to possess as they grow towards independence. In this episode Amy discusses some strategies for helping kids deal with comparison and envy. When we teach them to self-compare, applaud their personal progress, and highlight their own pride in their achievements (rather than our own), we teach them that satisfaction can come less from being *the* best than by being our own best. In this episode, Amy refers to this resource from Big Life Journal: How to Help Children Stop Comparing Themselves to Others Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Britt Hawthorne is a mother, teacher, author, and anti-bias/antiracist facilitator. She partners with caregivers, educators, and families to raise the next generation of antiracist children. Her forthcoming book, Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide, is for families ready to take action that'll bring change at home. In this episode, we discuss: What becoming 'antiracist' really means Honoring your own entry point into antiracist work How to frame antiracist work as a journey of curiosity and engagement Here's where you can find Britt: Purchase Britt's book www.britthawthorne.com @britthawthorne on IG @britthawthorne_ on Twitter Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this listener-driven episode, we release a collective primal mom scream--from prairie dresses (no one looks good in them!) to thank you cards (I'm going to immediately throw it away) to school theme days (dress like your favorite endangered species???), there are plenty of things moms feel should be done away with for good. This week, you'll find you're not alone in your desire to get rid of the things that just should NOT be things. In this episode, Amy and Margaret hear from listeners who are fed up with: Crop tops for children Summer camp signups Dinosaurs ...and so many more! Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bedtime can be smooth sailing or a waking nightmare, depending on the day. If you've ever experienced "bedtime creep" you will identify with this question for our Facebook group: How do you enforce bedtime? We have unwittingly slipped from 8pm to 9, 9:25 even, 9:45 pm. My 4-year-old often sees 10 pm! My 2-year-old had such an easy 8 pm bedtime until a few months ago. Now there are two tiny tots running my kitchen til well after when I want to be asleep myself (did I mention I am six months pregnant with number three?). Most nights I give up and leave my husband to fend for himself. Even so, when he gives up on the 4-year-old, she usually joins me in bed. I never see my husband anymore, and I'm completely tapped out by 4 pm since I know there is literally no end in sight. Do I just lock them in their respective rooms and let them cry until they throw up? I am seriously so over this! In this episode Margaret advises: Set a time you want to hear from your kids for the last time and work backwards Establish the "three asks" rule Blank-face everything that happens after the three asks Not knowing when bedtime is coming is too tough on everyone but never fear - if you go back to one and re-set bedtime with consistent effort for a week you should be back to a regular bedtime in no time and it will be worth the effort! Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cat and Nat have been friends since they were teenagers, but grew closer after becoming parents and confiding in each other about the more taboo topics of parenting. Once they decided to bring their hilarious conversations online, they became the hilarious women we all know as Cat and Nat. Cat and Nat host the "Mom Truths" podcast. Their videos have millions of views on YouTube, Facebook, and everywhere else; and their new book is Cat and Nat's Mom Secrets: Coffee-Fueled Confessions from the Mom Trenches. In this episode, Cat and Nat share: How their true friendship developed and how it has helped them inspire millions of other moms What we can all learn from the mom confessions they've heard out on tour What they would tell their younger selves about what motherhood is really like Find Cat and Nat online @catandnat and on TikTok @catandnatofficial Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Beam’s Dream Powder is their sleep-promoting healthy hot cocoa. 99% of people experience better sleep quality when taking Beam Dream! Get $20 off at beamorganics.com/fresh with the code FRESH. Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Firstleaf is a wine club that curates and ships wines that are personalized to your tastes! Get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95, plus free shipping, at tryfirstleaf.com/laughing. Home.Made.Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Ladder helps you find life insurance without the hassle! Answer a few questions online to apply for up to $3 million in term life insurance coverage. Go to ladderlife.com/laughing today to see if you’re instantly approved. Mathnasium is the place for online and in-person math education– whether your kids are a little behind, or need to be further challenged. Get your free consultation at mathnasium.com. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to yourparade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Renzo’s Vitamins “melty vitamins” taste great and give your kids the vitamins they need- without all the sugar of gummies! Go to renzosmagic.com and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics beauty and skin care products have clean, skin-loving ingredients– and are truly high-performance. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/WHATFRESHHELL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all witnessed other people's children behaving as if they were king or queen of the hill. Sometimes it's even our own kids who are behaving abominably at Applebee's. But what exactly makes a kid "spoiled"? Conversely, what’s the opposite of spoiled, and how do we raise those kids? We unpack this loaded term in this week’s episode and talk about how our own experiences have shaped our opinions. In this episode, we discuss: · The history of the term “spoiled child” · Why spoiled children act out... and why it's usually in public · Boundary-seeking behavior and how to address it Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Livia Gershon for JStor Daily: The Spoiled Child is Not a Modern Invention Jill Suttie for Greater Good Magazine: Taking on the Myth of the Spoiled Child Patrick A. Coleman for Fatherly: Americans Fear Raising Spoiled Children and Do It Anyway Rodolfo Mendoza-Denton for Greater Good Magazine: How to Pass the Marshmallow Test The Myth of the Spoiled Child: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting by Alfie Kohn Too Much of a Good Thing by Dan Kindlon Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Happy and Successful Child by Dr. Jim Taylor We also refer to our interview with kindergarten teacher and standup comedian Mr. D: Fresh Take: Joe "Mr. D" Dombrowski on the Fresh Hells of Teaching During a Pandemic Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At some point most kids will deal with a bully. But what happens when the bully is your kid's former friend? A listener wrote in to ask: At what point, if ever, do I attempt to help my eight-year-old kid with a conflict he is having with another boy in our neighborhood? The other boy's a year older and they've known each other since they were toddlers. They don't go to the same school, so they don't spend as much time together recently. But when they play outside they've always seemed to be on good terms. Now they're in a group together at camp, and my son says this boy is telling him things like “You aren't my friend anymore. You've never been my friend. And I hate you.” I realize I'm only getting one side of the story. I've asked what led to this and my son can't or won't tell me. He came home early from camp today because the leader called and said he was crying to leave. When I got him home, my son told me this behavior happened again, and that's what made him want to come home. I'm friendly with the other kid's mom. Do I text her and ask if she knows about some conflict between them? Do I ignore it and let the boys figure it out? I've told my kid just to play with other boys instead of this boy, and to tell a grownup at camp if the behavior becomes too much for him to handle on his own. What else, if anything, should I be doing? Bullying behavior is common in kids of this age, and the kid getting picked on one day might be the kid dishing it out a week later. But a child who's coming home crying needs some additional support. In this episode, Amy suggests how to ask the camp counselors for help, how and when to approach a bully's parent, and how to arm a bullied kid with survival strategies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're talking with Bobbi Rebell, author of the new book Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart. Bobbi is also the host of the "Money Tips for Financial Grownups" podcast. Money can be a difficult subject to broach with kids for a number of reasons. So how do we break the ice? And what is different about our children's relationship with money in the digital age than ours was when we were kids? There are actually ways to make conversations about money more fun and engaging than rigid and boring. (And no, you don't have to look up influencers or NFTs to be able to talk to your kid about financial topics that will interest them!) In this episode, Bobbi shows us how to: Engage our kids about money without talking down to them Tailor different financial conversations to different ages Use allowances to encourage financial freedom rather than maintain financial control Follow Bobbi on Social Media: https://www.bobbirebell.com/ Instagram @bobbirebell1 Twitter @bobbirebell Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“God never gives you more than you can handle.” “Look on the bright side.” “It could be worse.” These are platitudes we’ve all heard and we all know are (to say the least) less than helpful. So why do so many of us feel a need to put a good spin on things when disaster strikes, and how do we break out of that habit? We talk about our own experiences with toxic positivity, what we’ve learned from them, and what we’re still working on. In this episode, we discuss: · How overvaluing positives functions as a survival mechanism · Why toxic positivity actually makes us less happy · How to counter toxic positivity and how to stay graceful towards people who offer us outlooks we may not want or need Here are links to some of the articles we discuss in this episode: Brock Bastian and Ashley Humphrey for The Conversation: “How to avoid ‘toxic positivity’ and take the less direct route to happiness” Allyson Chiu for The Washington Post : Time to ditch ‘toxic positivity,’ experts say: ‘It’s okay not to be okay’ Elizabeth Bernstein for The Wall Street Journal : Toxic Positivity Is Very Real, and Very Annoying Links to other episodes that mention toxic positivity: Fresh Take: Kate Bowler on the Truths We Need To Hear Fresh Take: Taylor Harris on Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the Unknown Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Water + soap + wriggly bodies = a giant puddle on the bathroom floor! And that's when the kids LIKE taking baths. What if they absolutely dread it? This this week's question comes from Lauren on our Facebook page: Tips for a 4 year old who legit PANICS about getting his hair washed. How can we make this better? At this point we are washing his hair like once a month because it’s so bad. It seems like he will randomly be somewhat ok with it, but 99% of the time he panic-screams and it’s really sad. I have a dry wash cloth so that he can keep the water out of his face, and I try to have him too his head back so the water won’t get in his face, but he still flips out. My husband thinks that we need to wash his hair MORE frequently - like every other day - so that it doesn’t seem like such an unusual event and will become part of his routine. Thoughts? When you've got a kid who hates bath time it's time to put on your detective hat. What is it about the bath that your kid is reacting to? The smell of the shampoo? Getting water dumped on their head? Being tipped backward? Have conversations with your kid in and out of the tub about what is making bath time hard and then make adjustments (for example, a strong grip on your child's shoulder may ease their fear of tipping backwards) and soon you'll be able to say - bath time? Solved it! Margaret cites this article by Alisha Grogan for yourkidstable.com Here's a Method to Help Kids That Hate Hair Washing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Abby Medcalf is the author of the #1 Amazon best-seller, “Be Happily Married, Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing,” and the host of the “Relationships Made Easy” Podcast. She talks in this Fresh Take about how competition mindsets damage relationships and what couples can do instead to be successful partners and co-parents. In this episode , Abby explains: What it really means for your partner to 'take something off your plate' Why grading your spouse on a pass/fail basis may not be the best approach How treating your partnership like a business can help marital communication Here are some of the resources from Abby's website that she mentions in this episode: One big reason why keeping score sets you both up to lose in the relationship 4 ways keeping score in your relationship is setting you up to lose How competition stops you from listening and forming connection Follow Abby on social media: https://abbymedcalf.com/ IG: @abbymedcalfthriving FB: @abbymedcalf Twitter: @AbbyThriving #relationshipsmadeeasy Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"My kid says she's dating someone, and she's 9!" Before you send in the cavalry, take a second to learn about all of the different ways kids express affection for one another and how to talk to them about it. We may want to learn the income, prospects, and favorite color of the crush in question, but sometimes it really is okay for kids to have secrets and feel independent in that regard. In this episode, we discuss: How to talk to your kid respectfully about their crushes How to spot signs that your kid has a crush/is dating What "dating" means at different ages Here are some links to the resources we discuss in this episode: Adrienne Wichard-Edds for the Washington Post: Why You Should Permit and Encourage Your Teen to Date Dian Cheney for Good Housekeeping: So Your Teen is Dating--Now What? Bonnie J. Rough for the New York Times: The Value of Childhood Crushes Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here at What Fresh Hell we say there's no reason for anyone to comment on another person's size in a conversational setting. Ever. Including women who are (or who might appear) pregnant, and also including babies and kids who might appear either small or big for their chronological age. The latter is a course correction a lot of us might need to consider. What's the harm in saying a sweet little girl is teensy-tiny? Well, read the question of the week: My daughter is five, but the size of a three-year-old. She's teeny-tiny. How do you deal with other adults' comments about your child’s size? It’s infuriating to me that adults cannot stop making comments, from taxi drivers to her classmates' parents. It’s never other kids, at least not yet. I usually just acknowledge how old she is and try to shut down the conversation, but I’d love a really good comeback to make them realize that commenting on children’s bodies is never a good idea! Something else to note: I actually am concerned about her size, and we are going to the endocrinologist next month. All these comments just add to my anxiety. But there’s a good chance this is just who my daughter is! In this episode, Amy gives this listener ideas of what to say both when her daughter is present for these comments, and when she isn't; plus how best to react when it's a stranger saying these things, versus a grandparent or teacher or other adult your child might see more frequently. These comments might not have hurtful intent behind them; we'd argue they usually don't. But they're still insensitive, and if the parent in this situation can react with honesty and a bit of grace, it might just result in a teachable moment that will have that person behave differently next time. Amy references @feedinglittles on Instagram as a great resource for what to say in these moments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sara Dean is the host of The Shameless Mom Academy podcast, which inspires women and moms to live bigger, bolder, and braver #everydamnday. In this episode, we discuss how to turn our struggles into strengths why self-care is a basic human need how to "play bigger" and be a leader in your life, even when you are home with kids Connect with Sara at www.shamelessmom.com in her Facebook Group: www.shamelessmom.com/facebook and on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shamelessmomacademy Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it rational to still be mad about that time in second grade when the kid right in front of you took the last sprinkles at the ice cream social? Is it reasonable to think just a little less of your childhood friend for serving Chex Mix at his wedding? Ours is not to reason why. This episode isn't here to tell you whether you all should be maintaining these grudges so carefully. It's here to hold space for them all. Stay angry, Hellions! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listeners have been discussing their trips to Disney World on the What Fresh Hell Facebook Group, and Jillian posed this question: "I’d love to hear a Disney episode: if you’ve been, if you are Disney people who go frequently, or are you a one and done type or a 'that’s a hard no' type?" Good timing! Margaret recently took her family for their "one and done" trip to Disney World. The biggest takeaway? Save early and save often for your Disney trip. Disney is one of those places where the more you spend the better your experience... and also one of those places where just when you think you're finished spending money, it's time to spend more money! Margaret and her family invested in the Genie+ Pass which saved them lots of long wait times. The pass is great for skipping lines, but it activates at 7 a.m., so be ready to set your alarm for 6:30 and be poised with your finger over the app. (And to access your inner zen when it's overloaded and you can't get in!) Margaret worked with a Disney Travel Planner and stayed at the The Boardwalk Inn. Staying in a Disney property meant early access to the parks (great for getting on popular rides like "Rise of the Resistance" first thing in the morning) and was great because there were lots of activities for the kids. including a nightly outdoor movie showing. Overall Margaret highly recommends a Disney World vacation– as long as you keep in mind that as vacations go, it's not that relaxing. Using the Genie+ app means early wake ups every day, and there's so much walking. But even for a Disney skeptic like Margaret the week was hectic but magical... which means her family may not be "one and done" after all! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our society connects thin bodies not just with better health, but with greater happiness. And many of us have been duped into believing that the rewards of eternal thinness are available to anyone who "eats right" and tries hard enough. But teaching our children "intuitive eating" suggests a different path: putting our kids' relationship with food and their bodies and their mental health on the front burner, and appearance and weight on the back. Amee Severson is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist who identifies as queer and nonbinary. Her work focuses on body positivity, fat acceptance, and providing safe and inclusive care for the LGBTQ+ community. Amee is the co-author of the new book How to Raise an Intuitive Eater: Raising the Next Generation with Food and Body Confidence. In this epsiode, Amee explains why the well-meaning strategies of concerned parents around food and weight usually end up backfiring how raising kids who eat intuitively means engaging with the complicated messages around food or dieting that we may have ourselves received the "three keys" for embracing a new path toward intuitive eating for our families Intuitive eating is definitely a back-to-one sort of thing, a resetting of expectations that we need to revisit often. But here's why that work is worth it: our kids deserve to feel lovable, worthy, and accepted, no matter what their bodies look like. Find HOW TO RAISE AN INTUITIVE EATER in our Bookshop store! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We know we have to be our kids’ soft place to fall. We understand why they absolutely fall apart after a long day at school. But does it really have to be Mom who always gets the worst of it? Our listener Michelle wrote in to say: I have been pondering something I call the "Safe Space Paradox,” or why children behave so differently around their primary caregiver. I am repeatedly told by grandparents, teachers, my husband, that my children were "perfect angels" for them. And yet the minute I open the door it is a cue for my children to resume the whining, fighting, and crying. I understand this is because of the deep emotional connection children form with their primary caregiver. But is there any research on ways to actually improve this? Or that I can actually enjoy this precious side of my children? In this episode, we discuss why kids really do save their worst behavior for us (and why we're part of the reason that can happen) how hard it can be to feel like the dirty hand towel for everyone's bad feelings strategies that work (a little) to help out-of-control kids contain their large feelings For more on "after school restraint collapse," check out our episode "Why 5 to 8 p.m. Is The Worst: How To Handle the After-School Crankies" Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Lauren Cahn for Reader's Digest: Here’s Why Kids Behave So Much Worse Around Their Parents Fern Weis for Motherly: The real reason your kids act worse for you than anyone else—and how to help Beth Shaw for Psychology Today: When Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your kids' chatter in the back seat work your last nerve? You may identify with this week's question: I feel like your wisdom could help me with the dreaded evening commute. I have a job that requires me to be on. And at the end of the day, I really need a moment of silence to re-become normal. Trouble is, the kid pickup and drive home is on me. And at the exact moment I need to hear myself think, my kids have had to shut up all day at school and have not gotten the chance to tell all of the stories. Our needs at that moment are total opposites. There's a couple things I can't do anything about, like my work schedule. I'm leaving at five when it will truly take us about half an hour to get home. No, my husband can't do the pickup. I have tried a couple of things. "Today I brought you each a book and you'll just read no talking." That works pretty well. Or "Let's listen to this cool family podcast I found today." But given that my kids also have equally valid needs, I feel like it's not fair to make all five weekday commutes free of the endless kid stories just to accommodate me. Do you have any ideas, suggestions? I'm all ears. Everyone needs to decompress at the end of a long day– it's just that, as this listener points out, her kids' form of decompression requires more attention than anyone should have to give as to who sat where at circle time. Amy suggests adding rituals at other times of the day that will both give the kids chances to share and that will give this mom time to center. Making room for both things is worth it. StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Taylor Harris is a writer and mom of three living in Pennsylvania. Her first book, THIS BOY WE MADE: A Memoir of Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the Unknown, is the story of A Black mother bumping up against the limits of everything she thought she believed—about science and medicine, about motherhood, and about her faith—in search of the truth about her son. Taylor says her memoir is "about a day where Motherhood divided into Before and After." In this episode we hear about the particulars of Taylor's continuing journey to find answers for her child, and how we can all find in that story our own feelings of fear and uncertainty as parents. Find This Boy We Made in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781948226844 Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're discussing whether these parts of our lives (then as children, now as parents) are better then or better now: Halloween costumes holidays at school jeans what's for lunch cleaning the house Loved this episode? Listen to this Part One, in which we consider everything from maternity clothes to snow days: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/better-then-or-better-now/ And here's a link to Margaret's dad's vote for next year's Superbowl entertainment: Vic Damone singing "Strangers in Paradise" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question comes from Sheila: "I have a 15-month-old and an almost 3-year-old. The 3-year-old has been in a toddler bed in his own room since he was 18 months old. The 15-month-old sleeps in a crib in a separate room. How do I get both boys to sleep in the same room without risking one waking the other either in the middle of night or way too early in the morning? When is the right age to have kids share a room?" When it comes to sharing a room there is no "right age." Some kids share from infancy, some have separate rooms forever, and some parents wait to share until no one is napping anymore. Whenever room-sharing becomes the right choice, either by necessity or by preference, here are some ways to make the transition a success: Set an expected bedtime– a lights-out time when it gets quiet and sleeping is expected. Build in play time for the siblings sharing a room. Make sure there is enough time before bed for rough housing and fun. For an 8:15pm lights out, have the kids in their room by 7:30. Establish morning rules, like "If your brother is still asleep, come out to the playroom as soon as you wake up." It's unlikely that the transition to room-sharing will be totally smooth, but if you establish guidelines around sleep times and expected behavior, you'll get there! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Evan Kyle Berger and Kevin Laferriere, better known as "The Dumb Dads," are stay-at-home dad comedians who've been featured on Momsplaining with Kristen Bell, Ellen, Today and Good Morning America for their social media sketch comedy. In addition to their own social pages, they make content for Bubble, a channel on EllenTube. Margaret, Evan, and Kevin talk about finding the funny in parenting, the fresh hell that is LA naptime driving, and why the "dumb" in "Dumb Dads" is actually silent. Follow The Dumb Dads @dumbdadpod on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, and catch all their hilarious content on their YouTube channel! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s no longer interesting to you? How has your life been improved simply by no longer caring about something the world definitely thinks you should? The key here is no longer interesting. James Bond movies and auto parts probably never made the list in the first place. We’re talking stuff you turned your back on after having cared perhaps a little too much. Which isn’t to say you don’t get pushback when you put things down. Just because *you* stop being interested in what’s for dinner doesn’t mean other small denizens of your home are going to stop asking you. Just because you stop caring about the scale doesn’t mean your sister will stop asking if you’ve lost weight. But whether it’s celebrity culture, making our kids dress appropriately for the weather, or what we wear to school drop-off, here are some things that are no longer interesting to us (and to our listeners). Did you know you can share this episode from whatever app you're using to listen right now? Text it to a friend! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can you talk about the division of labor in your home– particularly if you're the one doing most of that labor– in a way that's less complain-y and more effective? Listeners can email us their questions at questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com, which is where we received this week's question: Where is the the line between verbalizing the “mental load” and not talking everything to death and annoying myself and my partner in the process? I want him to recognize and understand all that I do as a stay-at-home mom to keep our house and family running, but at what point should I just put my head down and do my “job”? I do view this as my job and I wouldn’t have it any other way, so it makes it confusing to decide what to verbally “offload” and what to keep to myself. Talking about the invisible workload isn't one and done. It's invisible to everyone except you, the default parent who's doing it all. So we think you do get to talk about it. But in order to keep those conversations peaceful and productive, start by considering what you hope to gain. Is it "I see what you're doing, and it's a lot, thank you?" In that case, be clear that you're asking for appreciation and gratitude. Is it that your partner needs to change little things he or she is doing ("soaking" pans in sink, we're looking at you!) because they're taking your work for granted without understanding how that makes you feel? Or is it that you're actually drowning in all that you need to accomplish on a daily basis, and you need your partner to step up and take on significant responsibilities right now? Decide your goal for the conversation, set up a time to discuss it, and then start (and end) what you have to say with your specific request. Asking for what you need will make it more likely your spouse will understand what to do next, and will hopefully leave you feeling a little less "annoying" for speaking up. In this episode Amy recommends this interview with Eve Rodsky, author of FAIR PLAY: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/changing-the-invisible-workload-with-guest-eve-rodsky/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Masha Rumer is an award-winning journalist and immigrant from the former Soviet Union who is now raising two children in California. Her new book, PARENTING WITH AN ACCENT: HOW IMMIGRANTS HONOR THEIR HERITAGE, NAVIGATE SETBACKS, AND CHART NEW PATHS FOR THEIR CHILDREN, explores the complexities of multicultural parenting and identity. In this episode, we discuss The experience of disidentifying with, and then seeking to reconnect with, the cultures from which we came What we get wrong about the history of immigration What it’s like to be “in America but not of it,” while parenting children for whom America feels like home Find PARENTING WITH AN ACCENT in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780807021873 and follow Masha Rumer here: @MashaDC on Twitter @masharumer on Instagram @parentingwithanaccent on Facebook Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes all the "treasure every moment, Mama" content can make us feel like it's all downhill from here, that each year of parenting becomes a little less special. This suspicion is confirmed when we're with our little ones at the grocery store and an older woman takes us in, nods knowingly, then says with a raised eyebrow, "Just you wait." But wait for what? Does only peril and sass-mouth lie ahead? In this episode we discuss how parenting changes, and why that change is not to be feared or resisted. Some things honestly change for the better. Some things for sure you miss. But all change is absolutely, totally okay. For more on this topic, and in particular the answers to "yes but when does it change for the EASIER?", check out our episode Your Life Begins Again When... (The Second Half of Parenting) Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are the after school hours intense ones at your house? Whether you have pre-schoolers or high-schoolers you can probably relate to this question from Patti: "Can we talk about after school routines? When my mom was a child she and her siblings had afternoon tea and cake with their mom every day after school. When my kids get home in the afternoon it’s like a bunch of wild animals just escaped from the zoo. I can’t commit to a routine. Play outside first? Have screen time to unwind? How can I make this time of day less hellish for me and more peaceful for everyone?" Just like kids aren't "one size fits all," after-school routines have to be designed to fit your child. But a simple rule that should work for most kids is "food first." Greet your kids with a snack if possible, or lay one out ahead of time. While a frozen pizza from the microwave isn't as Pinterest-worthy as a tray of fresh cookies next to a chalkboard with Welcome Home! written on it, the aim here is to feed your kids, not to be perfect and presentational. Margaret is a big fan of down time after school and says it is perfectly fine if that time involves screens. For some kids playing outside may be a better choice, and for others, after-school activities may eat up so much time that homework needs to be prioritized as soon as they do get home. The big picture here is that most kids do better with some structure to their after-school routines. If the after school hours at your house feel out of control, start small. Add a snack, implement a simple schedule, and see how it works for your family– and then make adjustments as necessary. It's worth putting some effort into defining what works for your, but as a guiding principle, well-fed kids who have a little time to decompress will probably be easier to deal with for the rest of the night. Margaret cites this article in this episode: Bianca Lambert for Romper: How Hair Care Became the Ultimate Bonding Experience for Kyla Pratt and her Daughters Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How is it possible to find ourselves lonely in the midst of crazy-busy lives? Why does adulthood mean you only see people you really like twice a year? How did friendship get so complicated? Kat Vellos is a trusted expert on the power of cultivating meaningful friendships in adulthood. She’s the author of We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships, a book which has beenn helping adults around the world heal from disconnection and loneliness. Her follow-up book, Connected from Afar: A Guide for Staying Close When You’re Far Away, is filled with connection-boosting exercises to help us cultivate closeness and belonging no matter how far away we are from the ones we love. In this episode, Kat and Amy discuss the paradox of our increasingly busy lives, with more opportunities to meet people, and our decreasing feelings of connection how to overcome our decreased "social stamina" as we come out of the pandemic our main challenges to connection– and how to get intentional about getting the amount of connection that is just right for each one of us Check out weshouldgettogether.com for all of Kat's books and calendars, plus tons of resources to help you cultivate better friendships. Find out more about Kat's talks and coaching at katvellos.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've long been proponents of a "back to one" instead of a goal. On a movie set, the assistant director yells "Back to one!" after a take of a scene, so that everything can be perfectly reset to its starting point for another crack at the same scene. There's no judgment; of course you're going to do more than one take. Of course you're going to try to fix whatever didn't go right, and learn from your previous tries. Going back to one isn't setting a goal or expecting perfection; it's just what happens next. Our listener Dana recently proposed this in our Facebook group: "2/1 Back to One! "Help me make it a thing. I'm not ready for resolutions on January 1. The tree is still up, the holiday sweets are still around, and the kids are still off school. I think February 1st is the perfect day to start good habits for the upcoming year. We heartily approve this notion! No New Year's resolutions this year for us, but in this episode, we discuss the gentle resets that we and our listeners are creating in different areas of our lives this February and beyond. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system, and more with just one scoop per day. Get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Bedtime Stories with Netflix Jr. is a new podcast that will lull your kids to sleep with 15-minute stories featuring their favorite Netflix Jr. characters! Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed guarantees you'll find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StrollerCoaster is a podcast for parents of kids of all ages created by Munchkin, the most loved baby brand in the world. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thrive Causemetics are high-performing beauty and skin-care products made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have created a 2-year-old screens monster! This week he and I have been sick with fever, vomiting, and diarrhea. (I also have a 6 month old who has miraculously stayed healthy.) My typically screen-free toddler has been given unlimited screen time because it was the only way we could survive! Now that he is getting better, he just wants to watch screens all day. I try to take them away and he screams, hits and goes crazy. How do I wean him off of this new and terrible habit? Toddlers' memories are short enough that a reset is easily possible here. You don't mention which screens are problematic, but phones can be hidden in coat closets, TVs can have suddenly and mysteriously inoperable remote controls, computers can be "out of power" with no charger to be found. You report that tantrums occur when the screens are taken away, so the key is to avoid turning them on in the first place, or at least to have them as readily available as they were before. Another approach you can consider, from the world of animal training, is to create and reward an "incompatible behavior," or something novel your child will want to do that means by definition he can't be doing the other, less desirable behavior (in this case, hours of screens). In this episode, Amy gives a few examples of incompatible behaviors to consider in this case. The overall takeaway? A hard reset is the answer, and that is fully available here. Hide the screens to the extent that you can, use your best branding to set up something super awesome that he will want to do more, keep that up for a couple of nights, and the new routine really will be set. Until the next stomach bug, when you'll probably have to do it all again. Amy mentions this video of a dog named Greta being trained using an incompatible behavior: https://youtu.be/P0TB4v_rUj8 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cara Harvey is a mom empowerment coach who provides women with the tools, resources, and community to empower themselves, find their happiness, and live a life by design. Her new book is THE 15-MINUTE FORMULA: HOW BUSY MOMS CAN DITCH THE GUILT, SAY YES TO WHAT MATTERS, AND CONQUER THEIR GOALS. In this interview, we discuss what "hustle culture" gets wrong about getting things done how becoming *less* attached to our calendars can help us be more productive why 15 minutes might be the perfect-sized block of time to really move us toward our goals, whether they're professional, family-focused, or personal Find Cara on Instagram: @apurposedrivenmom Get a free "action guide" here: https://the15minuteformula.com/free/ Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we prepare for a future that isn’t clear? How do we prepare our kids for their future when what that might look like is also unclear? Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of the parenting journey, but in this episode we’re talking about those really uncertain times: the “this might be nothing, but we’d like to run more tests” times. The “we actually aren’t sure what’s happening here” times. The "this could really go either way" moments in our lives. In this episode we discuss why parenting through uncertainty is so hard how these times have played out in our own lives why “just try not to think about it!” is terrible advice why the things we do to reduce our uncertainty can sometimes backfire Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Mark Freeston et al: Towards a model of uncertainty distress in the context of Coronavirus (Covid-19) Nabi Nazari and Mark Griffiths: Using Fear and Anxiety Related to COVID-19 to Predict Cyberchondria: Cross-sectional Survey Study Victoria Maxwell for Psychology Today: 6 Ways to Increase Uncertainty Tolerance and this past episode of ours: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/the-back-to-school-hell-pandemic-edition/ Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a kid who used to gaze at you with adoring eyes and now looks at you as if everything you say is the dumbest thing they've ever heard, you can probably relate to this week's question: My 11 (almost 12) year old son started 6th grade this year and he has turned into a totally different person! I feel like I don’t even know him. He can’t seem to stop back talking, he’s selfish, and he’s really just rude. The good news is that our kids turning on us and becoming disrespectful is normal, age-appropriate, and a sign that our kids are flexing their much-needed independence from us. But that doesn't mean that being rude is OK. So how do we enforce boundaries of respectful treatment in our homes without our dialogues with our kids just becoming "Don't talk to me that way!" on constant repeat? The main thing to remember is that you should not be being disrespected in your own home. Get used to repeating, "I'm happy to help you with that if you can ask in a pleasant tone of voice." It is extremely difficult, but your power in this situation comes from staying calm. Practice a gesture (such as putting up a "stop" hand) that goes along with your request to speak more politely. If this is not working don't be afraid to use our old friend the whiteboard. "If you speak rudely five times a day you get five checks ant then you are off screens for the day." It's a good discipline to get into because it means instead of yelling you are calmly replying "that's one check out of five." While you are working this program find as many things as you can to lean in to for connection with your kids. Whether it's Roblox or playoff games, work on finding ways that you can enjoy talking to each other so that you're not spending all your timing yelling "Don't talk to me like that!" Margaret cites this article from empoweringparents.com: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/disrespectful-child-or-teen-5-things-not-to-do-as-a-parent/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lynyetta Willis is a psychologist and family empowerment coach who helps smart, successful women (and their families) stop the unhelpful patterns that keep them stuck, so they can create more joy in their parenting or partnerships. In this interview, Dr. Willis tells us what it means to live in "stable misery." (It may sound pretty familiar). We discuss her framework for changing those patterns and finding more joy and harmony in our lives as partners and as parents. You will love this joyful, insightful interview! Here are links to some of Dr. Willis's programs that we discuss in this episode. Find out more at drlwillis.com. Trigger Score Quiz Partnership Gameplan PATHS Framework Infographic Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s getting you through right now? A TV show? A candle? A coffee mug warmer? A podcast and a brisk walk? We asked our listeners for one thing that’s working for them right now, and from workouts to pets to Hallmark movies, we've got some good ones. As promised, here are links so some things mentioned in the episode that are currently saving us: Barefoot Dreams blanket Brooklyn Candle hygge (the concept) Maintenance Phase Wordle Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've got a high schooler who's starting the college process– and the part you're most dreading as a parent is drop-off day– you will probably identify with this Question of the Week: Hey ladies! A longtime listener here. How about an episode about Amy’s experience with her oldest off at college? I’m a mom who’s sending her first one away to school next year and my heart is already slowly breaking. Help! Good news: like a milestone birthday, the enormity of a kid leaving for college is way larger on the road ahead of you than it is in your rear-view mirror. It does cause great changes in your relationship with your child when they're not with you at the dinner table every night. The entire system really does transform when one family member is removed. But not all of the changes your family dynamic will undergo are bad. And if your teenager is giving you one-word answers while she's still at home, you may be surprised at how much she has to tell you once she's having these new experiences. In fact, these very show notes were interrupted for a lazy Sunday FaceTime with just such a first-year college student. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meghan Leahy is the "On Parenting" columnist for The Washington Post and a certified parenting coach. She's also the author of PARENTING OUTSIDE THE LINES: FORGET THE RULES, TAP INTO YOUR WISDOM, AND CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILD. She lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband, three school-age daughters, and her dog. In her work as a parenting coach, Meghan finds that we parents are often "unreliable narrators" of our own stories. For example, we might ask for help by saying "The problem is my daughter never listens to me!" when the actual issue we need to face might be more about connection and less about teenage insolence. In this episode, we discuss how to make connection with our kids our foremost goal as parents, and how attachment with our kids might occur in ways far beyond the well-meaning "So how was your day?" As Meghan explains, even boundaries are forms of connection. On the other hand, a few lowered standards right now (like some extra lunch plates in kids' rooms after Zoom school) can really make family life better for all of us, even moms. You can find out more about Meghan Leahy's one-on-one parent coaching, online classes, and writing on her website: mlparentcoach.com. In this episode we discuss the CPS Method for family problem-solving, which we discuss in more detail in this interview with Dr. Stacy Haynes. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We didn't think we'd get stuck here again, but here we are, in Pandemic: Omicron Edition. We're finding this round particularly exhausting because any semblance of consistency in guidance, advice, or predictions is long gone. And yet we're still the decision makers for our families, the ones everyone looks to for the answers, the plans, the "what's for dinner," the "can Eliza come over?" In other words, we're struggling with pandemic decision fatigue. In a recent study by the American Psychological Association, 47% of parents reported being so stressed about the pandemic that they struggle to make basic decisions like what to wear and what to eat. In this episode, we have an honest discussion of how "analysis paralysis" has been playing out in our lives lately, and why "the decision that makes you feel calmest" might be the best touchstone for these times (hat tip to psychotherapist Josh Jonas). Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: American Psychological Association: Stress and decision-making during the pandemic Alexandra Frost for Washington Post: Why you just can’t choose: Parenting through pandemic decision fatigue Ronda Kaysen for NYT: Another Covid Winter, but Our Quarantine Comforts No Longer Work Jenny Lemmons Magic on Facebook: "Decision fatigue" will be how I remember this season of my life. and here's the "You're soaking in it!" Palmolive ad- with MADGE! (Amy said it was Marge, whoops) Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Got young boys? If so you can probably relate to today's question of the week: "So I have 3 boys, an 8-year-old and 6-year-old twins. They seem to destroy bathrooms and I cannot handle! They almost never flush, spray pee on floor and baseboards, squirt toothpaste on the counter, and almost never own up to who did it. I smell urine every time I walk in the upstairs hallway -- it's awful. Any bathroom tips or tips for figuring out what kid did which mess so they can clean it?!! " The first response to this question is - it doesn't matter who made the mess. Shared spaces in the household are the responsibility of the people who share that space. This means that you can stop spending any time wondering about who is responsible for which part of the mess. Set a time when cleaning the bathroom happens and everyone involved in making the mess helps to clean it up. You may be skipping the step of making sure that the kids know how to behave in the bathroom. Lean in on lessons on how to pee correctly, how to squeeze the correct amount on toothpaste, and all the steps of brushing teeth, including rinsing the toothbrush and putting it back in the cup, then wiping down the counter. These lessons should continue until the behavior improves even if you are greeted with a rousing chorus of "WE KNOW!" every time you explain it. Making bathroom cleanup a weekly chore (every Saturday morning, for example) will do two things: it will keep the bathroom mess from getting truly out of control, and it will encourage the kids involved to maintain better bathroom habits so that the mess they have to confront every week is not quite so gross. This is also something that gets better (generally) as kids age. We promise that their aim gets better, their ability to use toothpaste improves, and maybe most importantly, they'll be able to do the clean up with much less supervision. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Melinda Wenner Moyer is an award-winning contributing editor at Scientific American, a regular contributor to The New York Times, and a former parenting columnist for Slate. Melinda is also the mom of two, and the author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--From Tots to Teens, This book offers our favorite combination: humor, support, and lots of research! We discuss what the research tells us about how to raise kids who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home. Do not miss Melinda's newsletter, Is My Kid The A**hole? , especially this recent post on "The Agony of Being a Parent Right Now": https://melindawmoyer.substack.com/p/the-agony-of-being-a-parent-right Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find applicants that meet your requirements-- or you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through 3/31/22 at indeed.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Glitter! Slime! Escape rooms! Nutcrackers over Zoom! Here's Part Two of Things That Backfired for us and for our listeners... Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Beam makes products for sleep, calm, focus, and recovery. Get $20 off any purchase over $75 at beamorganics.com/FRESH, or just type in the code "FRESH" at checkout. Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their Dress Yoga Pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of Flowkey Premium for free and 20% off the first year of an annual subscription. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have a toddler who thinks it's funny to hit Mom or Dad? A listener wrote in to ask: Any suggestions for dealing with hitting? My almost two-year-old hits us (mom, dad, older sister) when frustrated. It seems to start out of frustration and then continue out of curiosity. He seems to get that we do not like it when he hits, but he keeps doing it. We say “no” firmly and attempt to remove him from the situation, or remove ourselves. But getting smacked in the face is getting old fast. Children this little have not yet developed "theory of mind"– the capacity to understand other people's mental states, and that those mental states can differ from one's own. Since smacking Mommy's face arouses curiosity in your child, it can be hard for him to grasp, at his developmental level, that you might feel differently. Rather than giving the hitting too much attention– which includes the negative attention of a loud "No!"– Amy suggests Dr. Harvey Karp's "gossiping" technique, which will enable your toddler to learn why hitting is not okay without being distracted by your anger or his shame. It's a stage, but it's an unpleasant one! We hope that "gossiping" will really help. Here's an article to tell you more about the technique: Dr. Harvey Karp: How to Encourage Good Toddler Behavior With “Gossiping” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're bringing you one of our favorite interviews this week: Katherine May, author of the tremendous book WINTERING: THE POWER OF REST AND RETREAT IN DIFFICULT TIMES. Written before the pandemic but perfectly relevant to these times, WINTERING explores how the natural world prepares for and survives winter– and how we can apply the lessons of actual winters to the metaphorical winters in our lives where, as Katherine puts it, "we feel like the world has pushed us out. We feel isolated, depressed, locked out in the cold, and that the rest of life is drifting away from us." We all go through personal winters. Sometimes they're for terrible reasons (an unexpected death); sometimes they're for happy ones (a newborn who needs to be fed every two hours). Sometimes they're brief and not too unbearable; sometimes no end is in sight. Winter is cyclical, it's part of life, and it can be understood as a time of rest and of waiting, rather than of stillness and death. There is much that winter can teach us, and we loved both this conversation with Katherine and her profound book. You can find WINTERING: THE POWER OF REST AND RETREAT IN DIFFICULT TIMES in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593189481 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2021: the year that was better than 2020, but also not really. More than ever, we are so thankful to all of you who listen to this podcast, laugh along with us, and create the best community on Facebook at facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast. Here's a playlist of all the episodes we mention as among our favorites for 2021. Text it to a friend who would love What Fresh Hell! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0E04ow5m6T1jBi5cueSrn3?si=4qCtWndFQpKQ4mnIBiSY8w” Thanks for being part of a great 2021 for What Fresh Hell! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever reorganized your kid's backpack and found a note saying "Do you like me? Check YES or NO," then you will probably relate to this week's question: My 3rd grader has a secret crush and wrote about it, which I found in her book bag. I think it’s adorable. I want to embarrass her so badly. Any tips on kinder ways to address or ignore our kids’ cute little crushes? I mean, this milestone in social-emotional development? It can be kind of shocking for parents to discover their kids have crushes, because it is often one of the first times they are having an emotional experience that they are not sharing fully with us. This can lead to a temptation either to tease our kids or to put on our detective hats. But it's better to stay calm and resist the urge to dive in full force. While we may find our kid's crushes adorable and silly, our kids are experiencing them as serious and important. Resist the urge to embarrass kids or tease them about their crushes. It's okay to bring up any information you might have about the crush existing, but from there, let your kids take the lead. Remember that kids have extremely short attention spans. The kid they are having a marriage ceremony with on the playground on Tuesday may be the kid they never want to talk about again by Friday. Conversations about how we treat each other (in romantic relationships and in friendships) should be happening all the time at home. Talking about crushes is a good time to discuss how to maintain our other friendships even if there is one person we are particularly interested in– and how sometimes we like people who don't like us back, and why that's hard. It's a great time to talk about your own experiences in relationships and what has worked for you. Kid crushes come and go, so hold them lightly and remember not to overinvest. Margaret cites this article by Rachel Aydt for Parents on today's episode: https://www.parents.com/kids/development/friends/how-to-handle-your-childs-first-crush/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carla Naumburg is a mother, clinical social worker, and author. She is the author of three parenting books, including the bestseller How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids, which not only explains WHY we explode at our children, but also teaches us everything we need to know to decrease stress and increase patience, even in the most challenging family moments. Kids are hard-wired to push our buttons. We are hard-wired to freak out when they're pushed. In this Fresh Take interview from earlier in 2021, Carla explains how managing our triggers can help us stop the meltdowns. This episode will make you feel less ashamed, more empowered, and a whole lot better. Find How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523505425 Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Experts say happiness is often purer in the anticipation of an event, because the reality can be a little more messy. And at no time of year is that sentiment more true than during the holiday season. We asked our listeners to tell us their holiday worsts, and in this "best of" episode we discuss them all, plus a few of our own. Hams glazed with norovirus! Toddlers sleeping in airports! Plus everyone's favorite Yuletide novelty song: The Vomiting Christmas Baby! Why is it that the semi-disastrous memories are the ones we remember best? Either way, we can laugh now, which makes it (almost) all worth it. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Flying with little ones for the holidays? It's always a little extra complicated, and even more so this year. This week Diane asks: My husband and I are flying from Philadelphia to Texas. My kids have never flown before. Any advice for air travel with little kids? Amy says the two keys to successful flights with little ones are preparation and options, and in this episode she explains how to know for sure what your kid will have to watch before you get on the plane why you might actually want to be the LAST ones on the plane (not the first) how mask compliance gets easier when little one's hands are busy and why you can never have too many Ziploc bags. Two other resources mentioned in this episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/travel/2021/09/28/kids-planes-mask-rules-flying/ https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/best-kids-apps-to-download-before-a-flight Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rashida Dinehart is the co-host of the Grieving Mamas Club podcast, which provides community for anyone on the wild ride of motherhood while also navigating their grief journey. She's also the creator of Mona and Me, a blog exploring the high highs and low lows of Rashida's life as a motherless mom. In this episode, Margaret and Rashida discuss the loss of their mothers, why grief is not a linear process, and how they continue to navigate their own grief journeys. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality bedding is the ultimate comfort upgrade. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code FRESH to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Olive & June delivers all the manicure tools you need in one box. Visit oliveandjune.com/FRESH and use code FRESH for 20% off. your first mani system. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office quasi-Covid holiday party? It’s the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do. In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it’s okay to dial back if you’re really not feeling the holiday spirit. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research: Holiday Stress Harvard Medical School: A holiday advisory for your emotions Cedars-Sinai Hospital: Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality bedding is the ultimate comfort upgrade. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code FRESH to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Olive & June delivers all the manicure tools you need in one box. Visit oliveandjune.com/FRESH and use code FRESH for 20% off. your first mani system. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are traveling this holiday season to juggle seeing more than one part of your extended family in a short amount of time, you may relate to this question from Elizabeth: How do you tackle splitting time between families over the holidays, especially with a newborn? Both sets of grandparents live in the same town, but how do we decide when it’s time to leave one place and go to the next? It's already tough keeping up eating and napping schedules when we're away from home. We hate to feel like we are disappointing anyone at this time of year, but little kids make it pretty much impossible to our extended families as much as they'd like. The key to making family visits as smooth as possible is to plan ahead, and then manage expectations. Sit down with your partner and decide which family members you can see at which times, making your children's meal and nap schedules a priority. If your families are far apart, this may involve alternating holiday visits ("we'll see your family at Thanksgiving and then mine at Christmas"). You can factor in which holidays are particularly important to individual families into your travel decisions, but this is a decision for you and your spouse to make together and then present as a united front. If weather or extra-long naps mess with your schedule, of course you can change your plans. But it's easier to improvise changes to a plan already in place than to make those plans up as you go along. Will this mean that everyone is happy with your choices? No, it won't. Will this mean that no one will make passive-aggressive comments about they just wish you didn't have to leave? Unfortunately, it will not. There will always be some push back from extended family members who may feel shortchanged about how you choose to split time at the holidays. But a good plan and firm boundaries around it, and what choices work for your immediate family, will make your holiday travel a bit calmer. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danielle Silverstein, along with her husband Adam, host the podcast Marriage and Martinis. Their show presents a real, authentic marriage at its core, with all the love, hate, teamwork, struggles, laughter, humiliation, and ever-changing dynamics that comprise a spousal relationship. They are also the co-authors of the e-book THE DATE NIGHT QUESTIONS EXPERIENCE, full of questions crafted to spark intimate, productive, and satisfying discussions with our partners. We talk about the great divide between dating and marriage, why we are tempted to turn on our partners during rough times affecting our families, and how structured conversations can teach us new things about people, even the person we've been sleeping next to for a decade. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality bedding is the ultimate comfort upgrade. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code FRESH to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Olive & June delivers all the manicure tools you need in one box. Visit oliveandjune.com/FRESH and use code FRESH for 20% off. your first mani system. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trips to DisneyWorld with toddlers. "Kid-friendly" hikes. Storybooks reassuring children about trips to the dentist. Buying an adorable lakeside cabin. These are just a few of the ideas that sounded terrific but which spectacularly backfired, for us and our listeners. So many of you wrote in that we'll be doing a Part Two! In the meantime, enjoy these backfires. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Athletic Greens powder supports your sleep quality, energy, and immune system. Get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing. Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality bedding is the ultimate comfort upgrade. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code FRESH to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Olive & June delivers all the manicure tools you need in one box. Visit oliveandjune.com/FRESH and use code FRESH for 20% off. your first mani system. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when your child’s picky eating actually increases with age? If your kid already had a limited food repertoire, seeing them reduce their list of acceptable foods can be very stressful. But how can a parent push back without causing a power struggle? This week’s question comes from Katherine: My 7-year-old son (who has sensory issues) gags frequently at the smell and sight of foods, and even at non-food objects. One time he threw up at the sight of a smushed acorn in our driveway. He's even started to gag at foods that were once reliable staples for him– pasta, scrambled and boiled eggs, dinosaur chicken nuggets. Once he gags, he will never consider the food again. I've explained this in depth to his pediatrician, but she just shrugged it off. Any tips, insights, or experts that you might know of would really, really help. Kids do well if they can. No kid wants to have stress around eating, let alone gagging. It’s important to rule out medical explanations or food allergies– but once you have, this is most likely either “neophobia” (anxiety caused by fear of trying new things), “food selectivity” (what experts call kids with extreme food preferences and aversions), or both. The support of a professional is really important here- seek out an occupational therapist or pediatric nutritionist with experience in these areas. In the meantime, consider the “food chaining” technique as explained by pediatric and family nutritionist Megan Boitano: https://www.meganboitano.com/blog/getting-started-with-food-chaining-guide-picky-eaters There are no quick fixes for kids who have food issues like these. But with patience, empathy, and time, you should see marked improvement in the variety of foods your child will eat. Keep the faith– it’s worth the effort. Check out this research for more information: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34828737/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17997196/ https://www.meganboitano.com/blog/sensory-food-aversion-refusing-textures @meganboitano on twitter Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rachel Nielson is the host of 3 in 30 Takeaways, a podcast for moms who want to love motherhood as much as they love their children. Each 30-minute episode features 3 actionable takeaways to help mothers thrive within their family life. In this episode, Rachel tells us how the practices of journaling and gratitude have changed her parenting. No, you shouldn't have to "enjoy every moment" of parenting, and it's a ridiculous notion that we should. But Rachel says noticing the "flecks of gold" in our daily lives can actually attune us to finding even more to be grateful for– and as the weight of those flecks accumulate, they can become an anchor to hold us steady during the tougher times. Rachel's "Flecks of Gold" hardcover linen journal is a beautiful place to begin this practice! Use the code FRESH to get 10% off: https://shop.3in30podcast.com/products/flecks-of-gold-journal-grey In this episode we mention: our interview with Amy Koppelman: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/amy-koppelman/ and Postpartum Support International Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality bedding is the ultimate comfort upgrade. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code FRESH to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Magic Spoon gives you great tasting breakfast cereal with the protein your kids need to get through their busy days. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. Olive & June delivers all the manicure tools you need in one box. Visit oliveandjune.com/FRESH and use code FRESH for 20% off. your first mani system. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The world wants us to believe that having kids will bring us untold happiness. It's a love you've never known! Your life will never be the same! The reality is a little more complicated, and that can be quite confusing. As psychologist Jean Twenge points out, "Parents might believe that it's their fault when the transition to parenthood is difficult, rather than seeing it as something that everyone experiences." So: does having kids make us happy? Is that even the right question? Is it supposed to? Are the benefits that come from parenting different, and perhaps larger, than happiness? Here are links to some writing and studies on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Paul Bloom for The Atlantic: What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness Dan Kahneman et al: A survey method for characterizing daily life experience: the day reconstruction method Roudi Nazarina Roy et al: Effects of Expected and Perceived Division of Childcare and Household Labor on Mother’s Relationship Satisfaction during Their Transition to Parenthood E.E. LeMasters: Parenthood as Crisis M. Luhmann et al: Subjective well-being and adaptation to life events: A meta-analysis. Jay Belsky et al: Patterns of Marital Change across the Transition to Parenthood: Pregnancy to Three Years Postpartum Jean M. Twenge et al: Parenthood and Marital Satisfaction: A Meta-Analytic Review Rainer Maria Rilke: “Go To The Limits of Your Longing” Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Aura Frames make it easy to share photos with your loved ones from anywhere in the world using the Aura app. Visit auraframes.com and use the code FRESHHELL to get $30 off. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality bedding is the ultimate comfort upgrade. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code FRESH to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Givewell researches and recommends charities that do an incredible amount of good. Get donations up to $250 matched at givewell.org by picking PODCAST, and entering What Fresh Hell at checkout. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixsleep.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Olive & June delivers all the manicure tools you need in one box. Visit oliveandjune.com/FRESH and use code FRESH for 20% off. your first mani system. Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients . Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding . Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Quip electric toothbrushes have timed sonic vibrations with 30-second pulses to guide a dentist-recommended two-minute clean. Go to getquip.com/LAUGHING to get your first refill FREE. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell. StoryWorth helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. WINNØW is the first clean face cream to pair CBD with ingredients like shea butter and hyaluronic and amino acids. Go to www.winnowcbd.com and use the code FRESH15 to save 15% on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers a listener's most pressing parenting question. Lindsey wrote in to ask: Do kids zap your energy forever? Or are toddlers just especially good at sapping your energy? Looking for hope! Two pieces of excellent news! Not only will you not always be this tired but it is likely you will actually not even clearly remember how tired you are now! When your kids are little being under-slept is kind of a constant - but there are some things that you can do to make small improvements. If you can, have a designated day where your partner wakes up with the baby and does everything they can to make sure you get maximum sleep. Margaret talks about her tradition of "sleep-in Saturdays" when her husband would run point and even try to get the kids out of the house. If you are feeling like you 'never sleep' consider tracking your sleep or your baby's sleep to help get a sense of when you are truly under slept and then try to make your own sleep a priority at those times - even if it means leaving the house a mess or bringing in some extra help. Some people will tell you that bigger kids mean bigger problems but for many of us bigger kids will mean more sleep! Margaret's tweens are great sleepers now and she offers hope in this episode - there is sleep out there folks! And it gets better. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Edward M. Hallowell is one of the world's leading experts on ADHD. Dr. Hallowell's latest book, co-authored with Dr. John J. Ratey, is ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction--From Childhood Through Adulthood. In this interview, first recorded in January 2021, Dr. Hallowell gives us concrete strategies– and tons of optimism– for those lucky enough to possess (or parent) what Dr. Hallowell calls the "Variable Attention Stimulus Trait." Whether you have a child with ADHD, suspect you might, or even have had some lingering thoughts about your own ability to focus, Dr. Hallowell's cutting-edge research and surprising new strategies will fascinate you. Grab your copy of ADHD 2.0 from our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780399178733 and connect with Dr. Hallowell: https://drhallowell.com. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live. Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Get a customized quote for your home by visiting http://somfysystems.com/podcast. SuperBeets heart chews are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked our listeners to tell us all the things that others might call crazy but which totally work for them. From packing the laundry to eating the same lunch every day for five years to toothbrushes in the kitchen, these are the ideas that don't sound so crazy, come to think of it. Following us on Instagram? Join the fun! http://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live. Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Get a customized quote for your home by visiting http://somfysystems.com/podcast. SuperBeets heart chews are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a common fear for mothers expecting their second child: How can I possibly love this new baby as much as I loved my first? Here's how a listener in our Facebook group put it: I have a two-year-old and I'm pregnant with my second. I'm having extreme feelings of guilt on how this new baby will disrupt my two-year-old's life. And I'm really worried about how I could possibly love them both equally. From what I have heard feeling this way is normal, but I can't help but feel a little sense of dread when I think about adding a second kid to our family. Will it lower my standards of parenting? Will I lose my patience more easily? Will I love one more than the other? Will this second baby ruin my relationship with my son? In this Question of the Week episode, Amy answers these questions: it won't lower your parenting standards, but it will almost certainly change them. And rather than ruining your son's bond with his primary caregiver, it will create an entirely new and separate bond, one that is likely to be among the most long-lasting of his life. There's much to celebrate and look forward to, and even if you can't see it yet, the new baby will bring untold delight to your family's lives. Even your toddler's. Trust us. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zibby Owens is the creator and host of the podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books, in which Zibby gets her guests to open up about what’s important to them while discussing their favorite books. Zibby's new anthology of essays, written by 49 past guests on her podcast, is Moms Don’t Have Time to Have Kids: A Timeless Anthology. In this interview we discuss all the things moms really don't have time for– and how to figure out what's worth *making* time for. Zibby also tells us all about Zibby Books, her new publishing company attempting to reimagine the business of books as a collaborative partnership. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live. Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Get a customized quote for your home by visiting http://somfysystems.com/podcast. SuperBeets heart chews are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re part of the “sandwich generation”– taking care of your parents and your children at the same time– you’ve got a lot of company. The demographic trends of later parenting and increasing life expectancies mean this double-caretaking will become a reality for a lot more of us. And it seems that this responsibility is falling more often on women: two-thirds of people doing the double caretaking are female. In this episode, we discuss how caring for parents can be particularly fraught, whether you’re giving them daily insulin shots, or just trying to make sense of their finances every April. We also discuss the importance of prioritizing our own mental and physical health, even (especially) when there seems to be little time to do so. Finally, we talk about operating from a place of maximum vulnerability. Realize that you really are doing more than any one person can handle. Get specific about the help you need, and be honest when you’re hitting your limits. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Dorothy A. Miller: The 'sandwich' generation: adult children of the aging Jessica Grose for NYT: ‘It’s Pretty Brutal’: The Sandwich Generation Pays a Price Katica Roy for Fast Company: I’m a breadwinner mom and this is why helping women in the sandwich generation is good for the U.S. economy Michelle Konstantinovsky for One Medical: The Sandwich Generation: Managing Stress While Caring For Others Alia E. Dastagir for the Chicago Sun Times: ‘Sandwich generation’ stress: Adults caring for aging parents face stress, frustration Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code FRESH25 for 25% off your first order. Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live. Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Get a customized quote for your home by visiting http://somfysystems.com/podcast. SuperBeets heart chews are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiffany Jenkins writes honestly about motherhood, her experience with opioid addiction, recovery, marriage, and life in her blog Juggling the Jenkins. Her memoir High Achiever: The Incredible True Story of One Addict’s Double Life, Jenkins provides an up-close portrait of the mind of an addict and the devastating effects of narcotics. Jenkins uses her platform to help and inspire others who are struggling with motherhood, mental health, addiction, and those who just need a good laugh. In this episode, we talk about whether being “real” always equates being a hot mess express, Tiffany’s approaches to dealing with anxiety, and how the all-mom audiences Tiffany meets on her “My Name is Not Mom” tour are bringing rock-star levels of enthusiasm. Find Tiffany Jenkins on Facebook and YouTube Hear us as guests on Tiffany’s podcast Take it Or Leave It: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-fresh-hell-special-guest-amy-and-margaret/id1434126027?i=1000495262427 And catch Tiffany on tour: https://mynameisnotmom.com/ Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live. Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Magic Spoon gives you great tasting breakfast cereal that also has the protein your kids need to get through their busy days. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Get a customized quote for your home by visiting http://somfysystems.com/podcast. StoryWorth is an online service that helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. SuperBeets heart chews are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Xocolatti's high quality, delicious chocolates are delivered straight to your door. Go to Xocolatti.com and use the code "MOTHERHOOD" for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for a ritual release of pent-up frustration. Think of this episode as a pressure cooker boiling down all things you would like to not think about or do anymore, including: school photos making appointments making dinner spirit day whistling book fairs rain boots In this episode we exorcise those demons, providing a frisson of perspective but mostly our fervent agreement. Did you know you can go to https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/episodes/ to search our five years' worth of content? Whatever you're struggling with, we've probably got an episode for you. Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live. Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Magic Spoon gives you great tasting breakfast cereal that also has the protein your kids need to get through their busy days. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Get a customized quote for your home by visiting http://somfysystems.com/podcast. StoryWorth is an online service that helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. SuperBeets heart chews are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Xocolatti's high quality, delicious chocolates are delivered straight to your door. Go to Xocolatti.com and use the code "MOTHERHOOD" for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do your kids fight as much as they breathe? It's as normal as it is infuriating. This week Amy answers a question from our Instagram page: Man, am I struggling. My kids are four and two and all they do is fight. It’s constant. (The four year old is a girl and the two year old is a boy.) They hit, scream, fight, all morning and night. I try not to react too much, but... you get the idea. This kind of fighting is definitely in the #itgetsbetter category, but it's an extremely intense season while you're in it. The first thing to let go of is that siblings should get along, love each other, live in perfect harmony. For the next six months or a year, keep them separate! One in the yard, one in the playroom. One coloring in the kitchen, one playing trucks on the windowsill. Lower any expectations you have around what they should be doing together, and the fighting will go down. Blank-facing is the other arrow in your quiver. Fighting is not interesting to you. If someone is actually hurt, tend to the injured party and give as little attention as possible– even negative attention– to the instigator. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Despite all evidence to the contrary, children are not actually out to drive grown-ups insane. But even parents who know better can get triggered when their kids are super-defiant. Claire Lerner is the author of Why Is My Child in Charge? A Roadmap to End Power Struggles, Increase Cooperation, and Find Joy in Parenting Young Children. In this episode, Claire explains the eight mindsets of faulty parenting, and the mindshifts that can help us end the power struggles and reconnect with our kids. Find WHY IS MY CHILD IN CHARGE? in our Bookshop store! Special thanks to all of our sponsors for this month: Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Magic Spoon gives you great tasting breakfast cereal that also has the protein your kids need to get through their busy days. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Prose makes custom hair supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Visit http://somfysystems.com/podcast. StoryWorth is an online service that helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. SuperBeets are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Xocolatti's high quality, delicious chocolates are delivered straight to your door. Go to Xocolatti.com and use the code "MOTHERHOOD" for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does re-emerging from our pandemic cocoons continue to feel so difficult? Are we all socially deconditioned? The third-quarter phenomenon is part of the explanation. For people forced to endure long stretches of isolation– astronauts, Arctic explorers, submarine sailors– the most difficult part, regardless of the length of the assignment, has been proven to be about 75% of the way through, precisely when the end of the assignment first comes into distant focus. But the end of this assignment has not and will not come into focus. There is no V-Day, no “all clear” foghorn to indicate that what we went through is totally over. And while we had the camaraderie of reunion and survival sparking us all to reconnect outside last year, the longer this goes on, the less enthusiastic we become about ever returning to the way things used to be. Psychologist Craig Haney, who studies the effect of insolation on incarcerated people, explains that prisoners in solitary confinement “begin to withdraw from the little amount of social contact that they are allowed to have, because social stimulation, over time, becomes anxiety-arousing.” What most of us are dealing with isn’t half so extreme. But we’re all dealing with it, and that’s the tricky part. In this episode we discuss how to overcome our brains’ innate negativity bias and start to look out for the good. Check out these other episodes of ours for more discussion on this topic: EP 200: WHEN CAN WE START SAYING YES? EP 205: WAIT, WE'RE NOT READY EP 220: WE THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE OVER BY NOW Special thanks to all of our sponsors for this month: Brooklinen's luxurious, high-quality sheets are the ultimate bedding upgrade! Go to brooklinen.com and use the promo code FRESH for $20 off your minimum purchase of $100. Dermafacs cream rejuvenates your skin's texture and fades the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Go to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell and use the code whatfreshhell for 15% off. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing125 and use code laughing125 to get $125 off including free shipping. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month at kiwico.com with the code MOTHERHOOD. Magic Spoon gives you great tasting breakfast cereal that also has the protein your kids need to get through their busy days. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH to get $5 off. MamaZen is an app that provides a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today from your app store, and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off. Prose makes custom hair supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of shedding. Get 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. Somfy powered motorized window coverings are a great way to keep your home cool- and they connect to your smart home systems! Visit http://somfysystems.com/podcast. StoryWorth is an online service that helps your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Get started with $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell. SuperBeets are a tasty treat that give you caffeine-free, heart-healthy energy. Get a free 30-day supply and free shipping and returns with your first purchase at superbeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you noticed your child's behavior going all the way downhill when their sibling has a friend over? You may relate to this week's question from our Facebook group: My kids turn into monsters when their sibling has a friend over. I have a girl and a boy, and they both do this. Other than trying to get the other sibling out of the house, or to have two playdates over at the same time (which is hard with Covid), any tips for quelling this behavior? A playdate’s mere presence can cause friction between siblings, causing the sibling without a friend to become overly attention- seeking, and the sibling with a playdate to cry, ”Mom! He's annoying us!" Firmly address expectations before the playdate by saying something like, "We seem to get into a bad dynamic between you two whenever your sister has a friend over. You can all play together, but if there is a problem I will separate you for the rest of the playdate." Then be thoughtful about how much of the behavior you can actually ignore. Absent serious conflict, let the kids figure it out. Siblings explore a new dynamic with a third party present: who am I to my sister when this other person is around? It’s useful for them to learn, even if listening to it is annoying to us. Then use the time after the playdate to reflect on what went well–it’s always a good idea to emphasize positive behavior– as well as what did not, and reemphasize your your expectations are going forward. Margaret cites this article by Amy Morin for Very Well Family in this episode. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While many women experience mild mood changes during or after the birth of a child, 15 to 20% of women experience more significant symptoms of depression or anxiety. But with informed care, you can prevent a worsening of these symptoms and fully recover. If you or someone you love needs help, call Postpartum International: 1.800.944.4773. In 2003, Amy Koppelman published the novel A Mouthful of Air , a compassionate and wrenching portrait of a new mother torn between the love she feels for her family and the voice in her head that insists they’d be better off without her. Now that novel has become the film A Mouthful of Air, starring Amanda Seyfried and written, directed, and produced by Amy Koppelman. Amy is an outspoken advocate for women’s mental health. In this episode we discuss postpartum depression as it's reflected in Koppelman's book and film; how treatment for PPD and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders has improved in the last two decades, and why some sufferers still struggle to find support; and why Koppelman hopes this film has a small part in helping us address this silent health crisis. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the fifth anniversary of the What Fresh Hell podcast! Thanks for listening, sharing, and being part of the best mom community anywhere. To celebrate five years of community– and the spooky season that is upon us– this week we're here to talk about the super-creepy parts of life with kids, with a little bit of skepticism and a little bit of "okay, that freaks me out a little." From phantom cries to sleepwalking to night terrors, our kids are creepy. Perhaps never more so than when they tell us they see their dead great-grandfather sitting next to them in the back seat. Are ghosts real? Some of our kids sure think so... and what do we think? We'll quote child psychologist Jacqueline Wooley: “It’s important to never say never, because it’s the scientific way to be.” Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Rosemary Counter for WaPo On Parenting: Why do so many kids ‘see ghosts’? We asked some psychologists. moms.com: Doctors Explain Why Moms Hear 'Phantom Cries' Even When Our Kids Are Grown Clarkson University: Why Do We See Ghosts? Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we get kids to view saying "sorry" as more than a get-out-of-jail-free card? This week's question comes from our Facebook page: I have 5-year-old and 2-year-old boys. My question: how do you help kids around 5 years old understand the meaning of "sorry"? My son will do something wrong– and know it’s wrong before he does it– then immediately say he’s sorry. I try to give him a punishment to help him understand what he did was wrong, but he will still do the action again, then say, “well, I said I was sorry." How do I help him understand the meaning of being sorry so he won’t do the action again? Not all kids are great at apologies. And grownups sometimes go at this the wrong way too, overemphasizing a perfunctory, mumbled "sorry" from the wrongdoer and then moving on. "That's where the conversation ends," writer Rachael Rifkin says in Today's Parents, "with little if any discussion of what happened, why it was hurtful to the person they’re apologizing to, how they can address the hurt they caused, and what they can do to change their behavior." Those discussions can't always happen in the moment, while the little brother is still crying and the big brother is probably disregulated as well. Child specialist Ellen Goldsmith says it's always unwise to try to teach our kids when either they're in "red brain," when we're angry ourselves, or when our kids will be embarrassed in front of others. But that doesn't mean the wrongdoer gets off the hook. In the moment, tend to the one who has been wronged. Later that day, go back and talk about it. If the kid says "I said I was sorry," ask them (with genuine curiosity) why they did what they did. Ask them how they think the other person felt. Then ask them what they think they should do next. When it comes to apologies, elementary school teacher JoEllen Poon has a great 3-step approach that hits all the key points. Help your child complete these three sentences: 1)I’m sorry for... 2)this is wrong because... 3) in the future I will... A 5-year-old will need some help with this at first, of course. But keep at it and he'll start to really understand what Daniel Tiger said best: saying "sorry" is only the first step. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Stacy Haynes is a professional counselor specializing in the treatment of social, behavioral and emotional challenges of children. She is also the Director of Inclusion and Equity at Lives in the Balance, a non-profit organization founded by Dr. Ross Greene to provide resources and support to parents, teachers, and caregivers of kids with challenges. In this interview Stacy explains the "CPS" paradigm (Collaborative and Proactive Solutions) and how she's seen it change outcomes for kids at home, in school, and beyond. As Stacy explains: "In the CPS model, concerning behavior is viewed as the means by which students communicate that they are having difficulty meeting certain expectations. Behavior is a signal." Find out more about Stacy's work at: www.livesinthebalance.org www.cpsconnection.com www.thekidswelose.com www.truecrisisprevention.org and find the "Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems" questionnaire here. Use it to start collaboratively problem-solving with your child! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Solo parenting" isn't the same as single parenting– but when we're in it, it can sure feel pretty intense. Even if our partners are great at pulling their own weight, sooner or later most of us end up in a solo parenting season. Our listener Michelle emailed us to say: Can we talk about what parenting looks like when it feels almost single-handed? We all know how ridiculously demanding full-time jobs can be nowadays. Statistics show half of the population work more than 45 hours a week. How can a parent deal with feeling overwhelmed by all the parenting demands that ought to be shared by two parents– because one's partner, not by choice, has to work instead of parent? It's worth doing the hard work of talking about it and pushing back against the default reality of the "non-integrated spouse." In this episode we discuss how to deal with the resentment (pro tip: block the traveling spouse on social media) how to lower your expectations during these seasons how to push against "solo parenting" as a default setting even when the other parent is actually home how asychronous communication can really help Here are links to some of the things we discuss on this episode: @thepaperdart on Instagram Sometimes Solo Parent: Dear Husband Who Travels For Work Messy Motherhood: The Art of Solo Parenting Claire Zulkey for The New York Times: How Parents Who Travel for Work Can Ease the Burden on Their Families The Military Mom: Parenting Military Kids During Deployment and our own episodes: Fresh Take: Whitnee Hawthorne On Strategies For Working Moms Dividing the Workload Changing the Invisible Workload (with guest Eve Rodsky) Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/fresh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Childhood is not a competition, but it can feel that way when talk in our mom circles focuses too much on what our kids are achieving. It's fine to be proud of our kids' accomplishments, but if you've ever wondered whether you're oversharing your kids' milestones, you might identify with this week's question, from our Facebook Page: My toddler has always been pretty ahead of the curve when it comes to milestones, but my friend's kids are usually behind. How can I keep pressure off the friendship when I sense some jealousy? I'd really like to express enthusiasm for my child's growth, but worry that it's unwelcome. If you are worried your enthusiasm is not being received well, it's probably a good idea to dial it back. When our kids are small, the concept of milestones is emphasized at each pediatrician visit. Is your one-year-old playing peek-a-boo? Is your eighteen-month-old saying four words? Yes, it can be exciting when our kids meet (or beat) those expectations. But children mature at very different rates, and placing too much emphasis on whose child is already exhibiting reading proficiency may cause friction between us and our fellow parents. Does that mean that you don't get to talk about your kids' greatest hits? No. But it's a good idea to identify the members of your kids "cheering section" (think grandmothers here) who will never tire of hearing about your kids' achievements, and make them your most frequent audience. And don't forget to be honest with your parent friends, which means sharing all facets of your parenting journey. One mom may have a kid who is a blazing fast reader but who struggles with sleep. Another parent may have a kiddo who just made the travel soccer team but is struggling socially. When we talk honestly with our friends about the ups and downs of parenting, it helps us help each other– and this is never unwelcome. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shannon Carpenter has been a stay-at-home dad since 2008, and that on-the-job experience– plus his humor-writing background– makes him the perfect author to have written his new book: THE ULTIMATE STAY-AT-HOME DAD: Your Essential Manual for Being an Awesome Full-Time Father. Shannon's book is a manual on day-to-day parenting filled with direct and actionable advice sourced from Carpenter’s own life and over 50 stay-at-home dads nationwide. In this episode, we discuss the inaccurate presumptions, both positive and negative, that the world makes about SAHDs why SAHDs can have a harder time finding their tribe than moms do (and what to do about it) how Shannon and his wife use regular meetings to clear the air and clarify expectations Get The Ultimate Stay-At-Home Dad in our Bookshop store or wherever you buy books, and follow Shannon at shannoncarpenterauthor.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Dermafacs provides your skin with the ability to smooth your skin's texture and fade the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Get 15% off by going to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell. Dry Farm Wines is leading the pure Natural Wine movement by sourcing wines according to the world’s strictest criteria. Get an extra bottle in your first box for a penny using at https://dryfarmwines.com/fresh Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/Fresh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Becoming a mother changes everything about us. Literally: the very structure of our brain changes during pregnancy, along with our eyeglass description and our shoe size. That most of us become more hypervigilant and more anxious isn't a personal failing– it's a biological imperative. But while the ways motherhood has changed us may be very natural, that doesn't mean those transitions were always easy. In this episode we discuss how motherhood has changed us, how it's also made us more aware of who we always were, and how giving ourselves grace about those changes has been what has always gotten us through. Here are links to some research- and a few of our other episodes- that are worth your time on this topic: Adrienne LaFrance: What Happens to a Woman’s Brain When She Becomes a Mother Fresh Take: Janice Johnson Dias on Raising Joyful, Change-Making Kids Fresh Take: Dr. Christine Koh On Building a Family After Adverse Childhood Experiences Did We Really Do That? (Episode 48) Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Dermafacs provides your skin with the ability to smooth your skin's texture and fade the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Get 15% off by going to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell. Dry Farm Wines is leading the pure Natural Wine movement by sourcing wines according to the world’s strictest criteria. Get an extra bottle in your first box for a penny using at https://dryfarmwines.com/fresh Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/Fresh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have friends and loved ones who complete their holiday shopping by October 15 and make you stressed that you haven't even started? You might identify with this week's question: I feel like you're a voice of reason so I was wondering if you could answer a simple question for me: should I be buying my kids’ Christmas gifts right now? My mother-in-law is insisting on receiving holiday wish lists so that she can shop “while there are still toys on the shelves.” It sounds a bit alarmist to me, but is she right? Short answer: kind of. There are reasons to believe that holiday shopping is worth starting early in 2021. There are supply chain issues at many stores (although that also complicates early-bird shopping); the USPS has announced an official slowdown; and continued pandemic uncertainty means retailers might not wait until Black Friday to release their best deals. On the other hand, "Buy it all! Buy it now!" sounds suspiciously like something a retailer's publicist might really want you to believe is in your best interest as a consumer. Our suggestion, if it's something that's available to you: take this opportunity as a Pandemic Reset Win. If you end up buying fewer gifts this year, that might be a good thing. There's a second issue at play here, and it's how to handle friends, coworkers, and loved ones who are feeling high levels of anxiety and stress and trying really hard to unload some of it onto us. It's called "second-hand anxiety," and it's hard not to be agitated by it. But the anxiety you're feeling really is your mother-in-law's, and not your own. Keeping that in mind will hopefully make it a little easier to keep moments like these in perspective. For more on second-hand anxiety, read Reina Gattuso's article for Talkspace: What Is Second-Hand Anxiety? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Bowler is an associate professor at Duke's Divinity School. She lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her husband and son. Her new book is No Cure For Being Human (And Other Truths I Need To Hear). At the age of 35, Kate was blindsided by a Stage Four cancer diagnosis. It forced her to make peace with her limitations in a culture that would rather believe that anything is possible. Kate says that our modern advice industry offers us "exhausting positivity," trying to convince us that we can out-eat, out-learn and out-perform our humanness. But as Kate explains in this interview, she's accepted that her "best life now" is one lived with courage and kindness. Find NO CURE FOR BEING HUMAN– and books by all the guests on this podcast– in our Bookshop store. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Dermafacs provides your skin with the ability to smooth your skin's texture and fade the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Get 15% off by going to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell. Dry Farm Wines is leading the pure Natural Wine movement by sourcing wines according to the world’s strictest criteria. Get an extra bottle in your first box for a penny using at https://dryfarmwines.com/fresh Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/Fresh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're talking about all the little things that trip us up, confuse us daily, and that we will never, no matter how much we try, get right. Will we ever ask for directions and then listen to the answer? Will we ever remember which side is the bread plate and which side is the water glass? Will we ever mail the birthday card BEFORE the birthdate? Will we ever receive an incoming call, look at the options, and not panic? Probably not. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Dermafacs provides your skin with the ability to smooth your skin's texture and fade the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Get 15% off by going to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell. Dry Farm Wines is leading the pure Natural Wine movement by sourcing wines according to the world’s strictest criteria. Get an extra bottle in your first box for a penny using at https://dryfarmwines.com/fresh Expressable is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at expressable.io/fresh. Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/Fresh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All kids interrupt, but for some kids it can become a problem behavior. Some kids struggle to control their impulses, and that can make it difficult for them to wait their turn to speak. This week a listener asks: My almost 6-year-old is constantly interrupting us when we are talking to him. Even when we are answering a question that he has asked us! I'm beginning to get frustrated when I'm telling him something important regarding his health or safety. I often can't finish a sentence before he's interjecting, "But Mommy, can I tell you something? This lightsaber here...." Then on he goes with whatever scenario his imagination is playing out or whichever object around him has caught his attention. I often let him finish his sentence, since not doing so results in a tantrum - he "forgot what he wanted to say" - then I direct him back to the topic after he's finished. But sometimes I don't have the time to banter about Star Wars or Cars because I need to get him information before *I* forget! Other times, when I insist I finish what I need to say, he will then immediately start talking about his unrelated topic. I'm pretty sure he's heard none of what I've said - which frustrates me even more. For a kid who struggles with interrupting, try using a "Red Card/Green Card" system. Get (or make!) a small card, coloring one side red and the other side green. When you are speaking, the red side is facing up, and your child is not allowed to speak. When you flip to the green side, it is your child's turn to speak. This does two things: it gives your child a chance to practice taking turns in conversations, and it makes a "third party" (the card) the authority instead of you. Like all tough behaviors that our kids exhibit, interrupting can be solved. With calm and consistent response on your part, this will get better! Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitnee Hawthorne is a speaker, an author, and a Fortune 500 executive. She's also a mom of two young children. As the host of the Savvy Working Moms podcast, Whitnee supports and encouraging working moms to become the women they want to be. In this episode, we discuss why "working dad" isn't a term why working moms are still "the mom," even with supportive spouses the strengths that working women bring to their workplaces why men also need to advocate for systemic change in the workplace how all moms can choose to find joy Whitnee's four-step plan for effective delegation Get the transcript for this episode on our website: whatfreshhellpodcast.com/whitnee-hawthorne Find Whitnee on social media @SavvyWorkingMom and on her website: savvyworkingmom.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! DERMAFACS provides your skin with the ability to smooth your skin's texture and fade the appearance of damage or scars in just a few weeks. Get 15% off by going to dermafacs.com/whatfreshhell. Dry Farm Wines is leading the pure Natural Wine movement by sourcing wines according to the world’s strictest criteria. Get an extra bottle in your first box for a penny using at https://dryfarmwines.com/fresh EXPRESSABLE is an online speech therapy company that has helped thousands of children of all ages reach their communication goals. Speak with a speech-language pathologist for free today and learn more about your child's communication development at www.expressable.io/fresh Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Home Made Podcast is a new podcast about… home. And what happens when you open that door and step into a new world, whether that’s a house, apartment or neighborhood. Find out more and listen HERE Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with the code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code FRESH at checkout to save five dollars off your order! MamaZen is a revolutionary solution for motherhood burnout, anxiety, impatience, and more. Download MamaZen today– and use the code "FRESH" to unlock a free trial! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. SuperBeets Heart Chews are a tasty treat that give you the energy you need and are good for you. Get FREE shipping and returns plus a FREE 30-day supply with your first purchase at SuperBeets.com/Fresh . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Getting kids to cooperate is a challenge at all ages and stages. Here’s how to know when little kids are old enough to kick in, how "connecting before directing" works for older kids, and whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask. How do we get kids to cooperate? Our listener Alison asked: I would love some insight into engaging the cooperation of my two boys, 5 and almost 3 years old. At what age Is it reasonable to expect them to put away their toys, stay seated for meals, get in the bath without mind games, and get ready for bed in less than 60 minutes? They are capable, but rarely willing, and 8 out of 10 times it's an ordeal. We have routines, we announce transitions in advance, we give them choices and even try to make it fun, but I feel like I am either haranguing them constantly or seething with resentment or both. Do I just accept this is the season of my life? Is cooperation 2 out of 10 times a victory? Getting kids who are younger than three to "do their share" without a lot of coaxing and singing and clapping is pretty tough. Then when they're about six, kids' "fairness radar" kicks in, and they're much less focused on loading the dishwasher than on complaining about who is not currently helping. So there are roadblocks to kids' cooperation, to be sure, and in this episode we discuss: whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask how "connecting before directing" works for older kids how we can model cooperation and hope our kids get the hint. (It's worth a shot.) We mention our interview with Michaeleen Doucleff in this episode– you can hear that episode here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-michaeleen-doucleff-on-raising-happy-helpful-little-humans/ Here are links to some other writing and books that we discuss in this episode: Cameron Kleimo for Motherly: How to get your kids to listen—without yelling Shelley Phillips for Lifehack: 6 Secrets to Getting Kids to Cooperate scholastic.com: Ages & Stages: Learning to Cooperate Terry Orlick: Cooperative Games and Sports Frank McCourt: Angela's Ashes Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Got a toy dumper? The way to engage little kids in household cooperativeness is to make it an outgrowth of spending time with you. Hear more in our "Getting Kids To Cooperate" episode, launching on Wednesday 9/28/21. This week's question comes from Lindsay via Instagram: I have a two-year-old who used to love helping me pick up his toys. The mess never got out of control. But ever since he became a big brother a month ago he is really struggling in general. Lately he won't help me pick up his toys, and after I clean them up, he will run over and dump them out and pull books off the bookshelves. I started leaving the mess till the end of the day so I'm not spending all day cleaning, but yesterday he tripped over all his toys and busted his lip open. Any advice on the toy mess and the transition from one to two kids would be great! You're right to have compassion about the struggle. It's only been a month since your little guy's world got turned upside down. Your life will get a little easier as the baby becomes more interesting to your toddler. In the meantime, you do want to clamp down on the toy-dumping. But a two-year-old is too young to clean up out of a magnanimous sense of the greater good. And if you give it too much attention– even negative attention– the unwanted behavior may escalate. In this episode, Amy gives suggestions for making the cleanup and organization of the play room as special time with Mommy– a time in which the infant sibling is far, far too immature to participate. She also gives ideas on restructuring a playroom to be more like a preschool classroom. Rotating out many of the toys will give your toddler less to dump out– and you may find that at playtime, he's even more absorbed with what he does have to play with. Dealing with a newborn *and* a toddler at home? Listen to "Surviving a Toddler And A Newborn" for tons of great listener-sourced advice! Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to read the transcript for this episode? Find it here on our website. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, MD is a psychiatrist and author specializing in women's mental health. She is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and the founder of Gemma, the first digital education platform dedicated exclusively to women’s mental health. Dr. Lakshmin is most passionate about empowering women and sees her clinical work as a perinatal psychiatrist as an extension of this mission. In this episode we discuss mom guilt, stress, self-care, the anxiety of this ongoing pandemic moment, and how we can reclaim ourselves amidst it all. Get Gemma's latest course- Dealing with Mom Guilt, Marytr-Mode, and Perfectionism-here: https://gemmawomen.com/unloadmomguilt You can find Pooja on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc and at her website: poojalakshmin.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Almost one hundred years ago, the writer Virginia Woolf famously declared that a woman needed "a room of her own" in order to do important work– and that the lack (at that time) of a long history of important work by women could be attributed to the historical lack of that space, both physical and mental. 18 months into a pandemic, with classrooms still switching back to remote learning, and with spouses musing that they kind of like working from home, a lot of us are feeling the effects of Not Enough Space. In this episode, we discuss why women's work and spaces are often considered the most flexible; why we sometimes don't set boundaries for the time and space we'd really like; and how to go about reclaiming it. We will probably have to keep asking, but the work is worth it. We love this quote by sociologist Scarlett Brown, written before the pandemic ever existed: "It will require a much bigger cultural shift to change society in a way that doesn’t encourage men to occupy, while women accommodate. But allowing women a physical space simply to exist in without it being encroached upon can make a real difference." Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples disagree on a lot of things, but disagreements about parenting can cause problems in our marriages, and can make raising kids even more challenging than it already is. Amy says that when she and her spouse disagree about how to handle a parenting moment, they try to return to the motto "Same Team." Being fellow team members is a good way to think about it. Team members don't have to do things the same way -- but what they do is work together towards a common goal. Another way to address such disagreements is to use Nick North's ranking system for communicating with your partner about the importance of your personal needs and preferences. When we increasing our communication about which of the rules of the household we can be flexible about– and which are non-negotiable to us– we get closer to achieving our overall goal: to lessen the conflicts in our households. Margaret cites this article in this episode. Here are some other WFH episodes that deal with this topic: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/parenting-as-a-team/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/making-it-work-for-the-long-haul-with-guest-belinda-luscombe/ https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/is-this-battle-worth-fighting/ Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Danielle Dick is an internationally recognized expert on genetic and environmental influences on human behavior. Her new book is THE CHILD CODE: Understanding Your Child's Unique Nature for Happier, More Effective Parenting, which offers a science-based approach to parenting centered on a child’s unique genetic “code." In this Fresh Take interview, Danielle explains how understanding our child's unique genetic tendencies helps us parent that child more effectively. Our children’s genes lay the foundation for their dispositions, and they influence the way our children move through the world. By working with our children's genetic dispositions, we can support our children's strengths and help them navigate their challenges. Turns out the key to raising successful adults isn’t to try harder to mold our children, but rather to adapt our parenting strategies to the way our children are wired, and raise them o be who they were literally born to be. Find THE CHILD CODE in our Bookshop store or on Amazon. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's your "wow, that was so me” story? What is something you did as a kid that exemplifies exactly who you are now? Amy was taking charge at grownup parties as a six-year-old. Margaret was getting her comedy censored in grade school. Neither of these things, in retrospect, seem 1% surprising. In this episode, we discuss some of our listeners' hilarious recollections of their younger selves, plus a few stories of our own– and a few more about our kids, who have also displayed their personalities early and often. Whether you were a Halloween-candy-counter or a neighborhood Encyclopedia Brown, you'll probably recognize your younger self in this episode! Are you listening to Toddler Purgatory? Our friends Molly and Blaire bring the hilarity and truth to discussions of life with kids six and under. Check it out: toddlerpurgatory.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a fine line between tired and overtired, and sometimes the right bedtime exit becomes clear only once you've blown right past it. A member of our Facebook group asked: How do I tell the difference between overtired and just plain not tired? In other words, is my toddler not settling to sleep because I’m putting him down too early or too late? Some of the main symptoms of overtiredness are hyperactivity, irritability, and clinginess– caused by a sudden rush of adrenalin. Here's how The Sleepy Company explains overtiredness: Your toddler's body goes from from the state of being ready for sleep to an "alert and active" state. The body can no longer cope with its fatigue and activates a stress response, pumping adrenalin and cortisol (the hormone that keeps us awake and alert) into the body. This interferes with the normal release of melatonin (the hormone that makes us drowsy), causing irritability and hyperactive behavior. You can be a detective about how your own kid manifests overtiredness so you get better at catching the right window– but in this episode, Amy suggests what may be an easier and more effective long-term approach. Consistency around bedtime– both the routines, and the time at which it occurs– takes the guesswork out of "is my kid ready for bed?", both for yourself and for your little one. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate Anthony is the host of the critically acclaimed and New York Times recommended podcast The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast and the creator of the online coaching program Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. In this episode, we discuss what should go into decision-making about whether to stay or to go how divorce can be amicable, even if the breakup (or the marriage) was not whether "conscious uncoupling" is actually achievable how to put kids at the center of our co-parenting (but not in the middle) when to start dating post-divorce (and when to let them meet the kids) You can find Kate at www.kateanthony.com and on Facebook and Instagram. You can Subscribe to The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast on iTunes here, and join her private Facebook group here. Have you checked out our merch yet? T-shirts, hoodies, notebooks and more: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have we utterly lost the script when it comes to kids' birthday parties? Or are the backyard tents and petting zoos and themed catering lots of fun, and that's all that matters? Is there anything to be gained by simplifying the expectations, the gift-giving, and the goodie bags? In this episode we tease out what feels important about our kids' birthday celebrations from what can probably be put aside– and offer ideas for parties that are super-fun without breaking the bank. Have you checked out our merch yet? T-shirts, hoodies, notebooks and more: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As parents, the thing we want most is for our children to be happy. When we see one of our kids spending a lot of time alone, and struggling with friendship,s it's natural to worry. But it's also important to resist the urge to swoop in and attempt to solve those problems. If a child seems depressed or extremely isolated, it is time to involve a therapist. But if a kid is going through a spell where they are struggling in more typical ways– especially in the middle or high school years– try to remember: to keep your own emotions out of it. Don't dive in to your own reactivity. not to ask a ton of questions, or offer "helpful observations" which might make your struggling kid feel singled out. to set your kid up for success by being a safe space for them to share information. Make family meal times and outings a non-negotiable routine. They're an opportunity for you to share your perspective and advice about friendships in general without putting your kid in the hot seat. Especially in times of turmoil, be the island of safety from which your kids can navigate the rough waters of growing up. All kids will face tough times in their friendships, but they need our grown-up guidance more than they need us to take control. Margaret quotes this article in this episode: Barb Steinberg for Your Teen Mag: My Teenage Daughter Has No Friends Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a "Best Of" episode– and one of our all-time funniest. We asked our listeners to tell us their spouse/partner's most unacceptable- and also extremely minor- infractions. We got 356 responses. Whether it’s turning off the AC because of a nonexistent "cross breeze," creating a Sock Mountain, or pausing Netflix to point out plot holes, these husband (and wife) crimes are outrages which deserve justice. Join the fun in our Facebook group! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a rule breaker or a rule follower? Are you married to your opposite? We're both rule followers, and when one builds a life with someone who sees the "NO DOGS IN THE LAKE" sign as an invitation to let the golden retriever go for a swim, one is caught between two bad choices: swallow the horrible anxiety that others might think *you* are the sort of person who has zero consideration for clearly posted signage, or be the stick in the mud who can never loosen up a little. In this episode we discuss why both kinds of people exist, and bump up against each other– and why the "no rules pool" isn't as fun as it sounds how rules limit possibilities, good and bad why humans tend to create more rules during and after times of struggle whether kids are born to be rule followers It's worth the struggle to find the balance for our families. In order for our kids to have the secret thrill of breaking a rule, there need to be a few rules there in the first place. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Michele Gelfand: Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World jthreenme: Raising a Rule Follower When You're Married To a Rule Breaker Diane Spear: Play By the Relationship Rules! Michele Gelfand for The Guardian: Why countries with 'loose', rule-breaking cultures have been hit harder by Covid Wikipedia: Rumspringa Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood. Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping! Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes it seems like our kids are actually out to make our relationships with them worse. This week's question comes from our Facebook group: I think my 9-year-old is "soiling the nest." Is it normal at his age to try to get me to hate him? "Soiling the nest" is a term psychologists usually apply to kids about to leave home for college. Rather than deal with their ambivalence about leaving their childhood home, they "trash" it, making the departure easier. Basically, it's a "this place sucks anyhow!" attitude that is self-fulfilling. A 9-year-old is probably not doing this, exactly, but he could definitely be dealing with some anxiety about pandemic school, soccer tryouts, or other things that are less immediately obvious. Or maybe he's just being 9. Dr. Arnold Gesell's child development theory posits that children develop in a cyclical, spiral pattern, from periods of calm equilibrium to unsettled disequilibrium and back again. These sequences are similar and predictable for all kids, and although each develops at her own pace, the Center for Parenting Education says that "nine-year-olds seem to exhibit many worries and anxieties, and become more demanding as they cycle once again into disequilibrium." Knowing this is a phase, and that your child will return to his calmer, happier version of himself in about a year, can make dealing with the present nest-spoiling moment a little easier. It doesn't mean you don't ever push back on the back talk. But he'll probably grow out of it on his own very soon. For more on Gesell's theories and how it played out in her family, check out Amy's book When Did I Get Like This? Here are two articles on the topic that Amy cites in this episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/07/05/when-your-child-soils-the-nest-just-before-leaving-it/ https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/developmental-stages-the-roller-coaster-of-equilibrium-and-disequilibrium/ Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christina Hillsberg is a former spy who worked at the CIA for more than twenty years before transitioning to the private sector. Her new book is LICENSE TO PARENT: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids, which provides both an inside look into one of the world’s most clandestine organizations, and a practical guide for how to utilize key spy tactics to teach kids important life skills. Christina believes teaching our kids the skills they need to navigate through life will make them more confident, well-rounded, and capable grownups. In this episode, we discuss some of the CIA's tenets of training and how we can apply them to our everyday lives as parents. Find LICENSE TO PARENT here in our Bookshop store! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some people say parents should never lie to their kids. We are not those people. We asked our listeners to tell us all the lies that totally worked for their kids– or worked on them when they were kids. Whether it's the ice cream truck's jingle indicating they're fresh out, the goldfish who was "just sleeping," or the unfortunate catastrophic fire at the macaroni and cheese factory, these are all the mom fibs you want in your repertoire. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When school drop-off is tough it can ruin the whole day. The feeling of walking away and leaving a sobbing kiddo at pre-school is just plain awful, but the reality is that most kids are happily playing 15 minutes later. This week a listener asks: Any tips for preschool drop off when kiddo gets shy/nervous and then refuses to go in? Our little one occasionally gave us a hard time at preschool drop offs pre-covid and with pre-k starting in a few weeks I want to have a whole tool box ready of things to try help those first few drop offs run smoothly. There's no go-to solution for making drop-offs tear-free. This situation is more in the "observe and adapt" category because you have to see how it's going, what's wrong and which parts of it can be fixed. The best thing to do about tough school drop-offs is to keep them in perspective. Remember that these events are not creating permanent emotional scars - rather they are phases where a child is working out their complicated feelings about separating from you. Still there are some adjustments you can make to help make the morning drop off routine consistent: make sure your child gets a good night sleep get up early enough that the morning isn't chaotic and rushed (I know - it's hard - but it's worth it) feed your child a good breakfast create a consistent drop off routine If you are doing all of these things and still struggling at drop-off, try working with your number one drop off ally - your child's teacher or daycare provider. Find out how long the tears are lasting after you leave (a teacher may be willing to text you to let you know when your kid is over their tears and enjoying their day) and strategize about how to make things run more smoothly (some kids may do well with a little extra time with mom or dad; some kids may need the "drop and dash" approach). But most of all keep in mind that this too shall pass - your child is gaining important independence and you'll get through it too - we promise. Margaret cites this article in this week's episode: Crying at Drop-Off Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Use your head.” That’s what we tell ourselves when facing a tricky problem or a difficult project. But a growing body of research indicates that we’ve got it exactly backwards. What we need to do, says acclaimed science writer Annie Murphy Paul, is think outside the brain. In this "Fresh Take" interview we discuss how we can use "extra-neural" resources like gestures, body movements, and the simple act of getting outside to help both ourselves and our kids focus and learn. To find out more, check out anniemurphypaul.com Twitter: @anniemurphypaul Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does competition have benefits? What level of competition is healthy for our kids? Many of us agree that the stereotypical dad yelling through the fence at T-Ball is taking things a little too seriously. But others say that participation trophies teach our kids to be lazy and therefore represent the ultimate downfall of our civilization. How do we balance teaching the eye of the tiger with just letting our kids play? In this episode we get to the bottom of why some people are more competitive than others, what the right age is for kids to start learning the lessons of losing, and how competition (when it's done right) can actually teach cooperation and self-regulation. Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 'Shirtless Tongan' Pita Taufatofua makes Olympic history Evolution of competitiveness: Scientists explain diversity in competitiveness Byron Heath on Kerri Strug Do participation trophies hurt our motivation? Some say yes Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing. Helix customized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing. Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh. The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store! Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off. Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the code FRESH at checkout to get $5 off! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices