Coming out can be an incredibly challenging experience for many people, often resulting in being estranged from loved ones who have difficulty accepting their sexuality or gender identity. When I came out, I faced rejection from my mother who didn't understand at first. The isolation of that period was incredibly difficult to go through alone.
However, moving to a new city where I could be myself without judgment was truly transformative. In San Francisco, I instantly found a community of LGBTQ allies who understood what I had been through. Surrounding myself with that support allowed me to heal and move forward into a new chapter of acceptance. Whether it's close friends, an LGBTQ center, or just moving to a more welcoming environment –- your people are out there!
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Personal story of coming out experience and being estranged from mother
Importance of having a support system of friends, community, or LGBTQ center
How moving to San Francisco provided a "playground" and instant friends
Episode Highlights:
[00:07] The Difficulty of Coming OutIt was a challenging experience of coming out to my mother. She didn't understand my sexuality at first and saw it only as a sexual thing, rather than an integral part of who I wasthey are. This lack of acceptance led us to become estranged from each other for some time. The isolation of this period was undoubtedly difficult to go through alone. However, moving to a new city eventually provided a fresh start as well as a place where we could fully be ourselves without judgment.
[00:35] The Power of CommunityIt’s important to have a strong support system, especially when facing challenges related to one's sexuality or identity. No one needs to go through such difficulties alone. Having even just a few close friends who can understand and empathize with what someone is experiencing makes a huge difference.
Beyond close friendships, being involved with the local LGBTQ community can help expand one's circle of support. For instance, community centers have amazing resources for people to connect with others. And there, they can gain acceptance and they can seek advice so they feel less isolated in their journey. And so, having that kind of community plays a vital role in feeling less alone and more empowered when navigating life's hardships.
[00:55] A Place to Be FreeMoving to San Francisco after a difficult “coming out” experience was truly transformative. The city was like a "playground" where I suddenly felt free to fully embrace my identity without judgment or constraints. It was easy to instantly connect with new friends who genuinely understood what I had been through. Surrounding myself with an encouraging community in a new home allowed me to heal from the isolation and start anew. Even just relocating to a more accepting environment can provide the safe space one needs to grow into their authentic self after facing rejection, allowing you to playfully move forward from a painful past into an optimistic future.
What kind of leader do you aspire to be? In our new podcast episode, we discuss the power of leading with love. Leaders who embody love not only inspire their teams but also foster environments of trust and respect.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Embracing love as a leadership quality
The way we love others is the way we were loved
The power of community
Episode Highlights:
[00:13] Embracing Love as a Leadership Quality
Leaders who embody love, who consistently demonstrate it in their actions and interactions, and possess the ability to both give and receive love, are the ones we aspire to follow. They not only represent the leadership of today but also set the standard for the leaders of tomorrow.
[00:42] The Reflection of Love: From Childhood to Success in Leadership
Our approach to expressing love is often a reflection of how we were loved during our formative years. This early experience serves as a foundation for how we either extend love to others or withhold it. By introspectively examining how our specific needs were met during childhood, we can better understand our own methods of caring for others. The way we attend to the specific needs of individuals within our team or company is crucial. Emphasizing once more, the capacity to love is fundamental to our success as human beings.
[02:00] The Importance of Community
In times past, we grew up in close-knit communities or tribes, where our needs were met by various members. However, modern society has shifted away from this communal living, leaving many feeling isolated and disconnected, except perhaps in workplaces, religious gatherings, or sports teams. This isolation makes us vulnerable. Yet, love serves as a “super glue,” binding us together. Our capacity to love varies based on our childhood experiences of love and care, or lack thereof, which can cause trauma. Nevertheless, we all possess the potential to embrace and embody love.
In today's episode, we delve into the concept of "kind candor" and its pivotal role in fostering a positive organizational culture. It’s an innovative approach that combines honesty with kindness when giving feedback to employees. By providing clear, specific, current, and actionable feedback, we enable employees to improve without feeling undermined.
The ultimate objective of kind candor is to cultivate an environment of trust where employees are receptive to feedback, seeing it as an opportunity for growth and betterment in their roles. Tune in to learn more about how this strategy can revolutionize your workplace dynamics.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Background on moving to a culture of "kind candor"
Five principles of kind candor: kind, clear, specific, current, actionable
Examples of giving feedback using kind candor approach
The goal of kind candor
Episode Highlights:
[00:01] Moving from a Kind Culture to a Culture of Kind Candor
Our company's culture has focused on being kind for the past 14 years. This longstanding emphasis on kindness is something employees can rely on and feel they will be treated well. On the other hand, kind candor builds upon this existing kind culture by allowing for honest truths, or feedback, to be given to employees in order to help them improve. However, this feedback is done in a kind manner since the culture already emphasizes kindness.
[01:16] The Five Principles of Kind Candor
The five principles of kind candor are: Be kind. Be clear. Be specific. Be current. Be actionable. For example, an employee made multiple mistakes. Point out the specific errors. Offer to work with the employee for free for the next 30 days to ensure the issue does not happen again. This offers clear, specific, current feedback on the mistakes, while taking an actionable approach to helping the employee improve through additional support, all delivered kindly.
[02:09] The Goal of Kind Candor
The purpose of kind candor is to help employees grow in their roles, not to punish them for mistakes. The feedback process is intended to build people up by giving guidance, rather than tearing them down or putting them on the defensive. When employees feel supported rather than attacked, they will be more open to feedback and improve based on the guidance. By implementing those five principles, you’re able to cultivate an environment where employees feel safe improving through honest discussions, rather than avoiding feedback out of fear.
Ever graded your own performance? In our new episode, we shed light on a unique exercise assigned by Gary that had us all doing just that. We're sharing a fascinating leadership lesson: the power of self-graded performance. Hear how our team faced their weaknesses head-on to drive growth and collaboration. Discover how this transparency is steering us towards becoming the greatest organization in history.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Gary sets homework to self-grade performance
Leadership shares grades and growth areas
Focus on partnership and making the organization the greatest
Episode Highlights:
[00:07] Leadership Shares Grades
We took Gary's homework assignment seriously and were honest about our weaknesses and opportunities. By openly admitting to grades of D or F in certain performance areas, it allowed for transparent discussion of improvement needs. This level of authenticity also likely helped foster collaboration, as others could understand how to support their colleagues better based on the self-identified challenges. Overall, it seemed to be a valuable exercise for the leadership to candidly assess their own performance.
[01:04] Commitment to Growth
We need to commit to spending time with each person every month to build partnership and address issues proactively. The goal is to build stronger partnerships where we can support each other and address any issues before they escalate. Making this commitment shows our willingness to improve in an important area through dedicated relationship building with our colleagues.
[01:32] Vision of Being the Greatest
Gary's vision is for the organization to be the greatest in history. Honest self-evaluation, like the exercise Gary assigned, is crucial for achieving this ambitious level of success. By grading ourselves and openly discussing weaknesses and opportunities for growth, the leadership team can effectively work on improvements and partner together to help each other excel. This type of candid evaluation and support among the team will help drive them to reach new heights as an organization.
In a world where effective teamwork is essential for success, understanding the importance of emotional efficiency can revolutionize the way teams operate. In this episode, we delve into the realm of emotional intelligence and how it enables teams to have productive discussions and make quick decisions. By cultivating trust and fostering genuine connections among team members, emotional efficiency becomes the foundation for creating an environment where everyone feels safe to express their ideas and opinions. Join us as we explore how developing psychological safety and connection can unlock the true potential of your team, leading to enhanced effectiveness and collaboration.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Emotional efficiency speeds up decision making
Trust and understanding come from time spent together
Psychological safety allows open discussions
Episode Highlights:
Emotional Efficiency: The Secret to Effective Communication
At Vayner, there is a hidden gem that often goes unnoticed - emotional efficiency. Through spending ample time together, whether in pitches, events, or internal discussions, the team has cultivated strong bonds and trust. This not only creates a sense of psychological safety but also allows for a shorthand communication style. Conversations can dive deep into important topics, swiftly resolving them and leaving them in the past. This level of emotional efficiency enables the team to work with speed and effectiveness, constantly honing this invaluable skill.
Unlocking the Power of Emotional Efficiency: The Vayner Approach
One noteworthy aspect of Vayner's success lies in their mastery of emotional efficiency. Over time, team members have developed a profound understanding of one another, fostering deep connections and trust. This foundation enables swift, no-nonsense discussions that leave previous issues behind. Consequently, Vayner excels in being fast and efficient, constantly training themselves to maintain this crucial muscle. By embracing emotional efficiency, Vayner unlocks their true potential and paves the way for effective collaboration and decision-making.
Growth can be elusive when we're in the midst of it. But it is only truly realized when we emerge from the depths. It's a unique journey for each person, and to authentically discuss growth, we must acknowledge the vulnerable moments that shaped us. In this episode, learn how vulnerability allows us to shed our armor and authentically connect with ourselves and those around us.
When you learn how to strengthen your relationships, foster growth, and become a more effective leader – new horizons await!
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
The power of vulnerability in leadership
Leading with authenticity
Sharing our lived experience in pursuit of growth
Episode Highlights:
[00:10] The Power of Vulnerability in Leadership
The number one skill for any leader and manager lies in embracing vulnerability. It can be learned or discovered through personal journeys, especially during moments of stumbling and growth. By shedding our armor and releasing shame, we create an environment where authenticity thrives. As leaders, our role is to work for and with our people, fostering a safe space where we can share our mistakes and lessons learned. Growth may not always be apparent in the depths, but by acknowledging vulnerability, we can inspire others and truly connect on our journey towards success.
[00:55] Leading with Authenticity
As leaders, our primary role is to work alongside and support our people. Gone are the days of asserting dominance and shutting others out. True leadership lies in creating a safe space where we can remove our armor and openly share our mistakes and moments of falling down. It's about acknowledging that growth is not always a straight path. By embracing vulnerability, we cultivate authenticity and inspire others to persevere, for it is in our shared experiences that true growth flourishes.
[01:35] Sharing Our Lived Experience in Pursuit of Growth
Understanding and measuring growth can be challenging while immersed in it. It's only upon resurfacing that we truly grasp the progress made. Growth manifests uniquely for each individual, making it essential to openly discuss our goals and vulnerabilities. By summoning courage and faith, we can step into our truth and embrace our imperfections. There is no shame in sharing our dyslexia or any other personal experiences. As leaders, we have the privilege of offering guidance based on our lived experiences. Let us seize this opportunity to inspire others and leave behind what doesn't serve them.
Introducing the Honey Empire philosophy where “honey” comprises 51% and the “empire” claims the remaining 49%. But here's the intriguing part, that seemingly small 1% holds immense significance. It represents our approach to treating people, our behavior, and our role as Vayner citizens. Behind every great business is great leadership. Hear how Gary Vaynerchuk and his team at The Honey Empire prioritize emotional intelligence and necessary life skills to build a top talent culture.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Embracing emotional intelligence and kindness
The power of prioritizing people and essential life skills
Uniting vision, behavior, and trust in pursuit of success
Episode Highlights:
[00:07] Embracing Emotional Intelligence and Kindness
In every situation, we strive to be the bigger person, making attempts to forgive, embracing kindness, compassion, and humility. These qualities form the very essence of our emotional intelligence, skills, and traits. However, embodying them can be challenging without self-awareness or guidance. The Honey Empire encourages us to embrace these values and make a positive impact on those around us
[00:47] The Power of Prioritizing People and Essential Life Skills at the Honey Empire
At the Honey Empire, we prioritize teaching necessary life skills alongside hard skills, resulting in remarkable success within our organization. By putting our people first, we experience internal growth, attract top talent, retain employees, and benefit from word-of-mouth recruiting. This investment in our team translates into exceptional outcomes for clients and a delightful experience for consumers. We believe that true ROI comes from valuing and empowering our employees, as they become more engaged, innovative, and motivated, even bringing their friends along as ambassadors of our mission. At the Honey Empire, we foster an environment where success and enjoyment thrive through a focus on essential life skills and prioritizing our people
[01:29] Uniting Vision, Behavior, and Trust in Pursuit of Succes
At the Honey Empire, we excel at seamlessly bringing together all the vital components and venturing into the market with purposeful behavior. Our approach is a unique blend of intuition and clear communication, often conveyed through grunts or quick texts. Gary and I have spent considerable time together, forging a strong bond of trust. It is my utmost commitment to bring his vision, mission, and desired culture to life within the empire. Together, we strive to achieve greatness and make our mark in the hunting industry.
This week, we delve into the unique culture of our company and the critical role of trust within it. Our discussion today offers key insights into how we empower new hires by immediately placing trust in them, recognizing their value from day one, and eliminating the need for initial proof of worth. We also shed light on the importance we place on active listening and inquiry for new employees, and how understanding the dynamics of our company can lead to effective contributions. Here's a glimpse into the episode highlights that unravel our unconventional approach to fostering a culture of trust and curiosity.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Immediate trust in new hires
Recognition of employee value from day one
No need for initial proof of worth
Emphasis on active listening and inquiry for new employees
Understanding company dynamics to contribute effectively
Episode Highlights:
[00:08] Prioritizing Trust: The Unique Pillar of Our Company Culture
One of the most commendable practices we uphold in our company is our approach to trust. We are a company that puts trust first, a rarity in my experience. It's a palpable feeling here, unlike other places where 'people first' is only a slogan.
[00:27] Trust First: The Golden Ticket to Our Company Culture
Our rigorous vetting process, often extending to six or eight weeks, ensures that we've thoroughly assessed each potential hire before they step through our doors. After numerous interviews and extensive discussions, it's only logical that we place our trust in you. We've invested considerable time in getting to know you. Hence, there's no need for you to prove your worth upon joining us. Your value has already been established. You've earned the golden ticket, akin to Willy Wonka's coveted prize.
[00:46] Embracing Curiosity: Navigating Your First Week in the Company
In the first week of orientation, I emphasize to newcomers that their value is already recognized - they've made it through the door. Now, their contribution can expand by taking the time to listen and ask questions. Understand what drives us, what sets us apart. Explore why we're causing such a stir in the market, why we've chosen our particular approach. Delve into our methods and motives.
A safe workplace for all - that's the goal of today’s conversation. Listen in as we discuss how we, as leaders, can create an environment where people feel they belong and can be their authentic selves. We share insights on building trust and connections so that anyone who suffers in silence feels comfortable speaking up. Most importantly, they promise to support each other through options and solutions, not answers, and ensure no one has to go through challenges alone.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Fostering openness and comfort in workplace
Creating a safe space and comfort in the workplace
Embracing empathetic leadership
Episode Highlights:
[00:07] Fostering Openness and Comfort in the Workplace
Creating an inclusive and open work environment is a priority for us, where everyone feels safe and supported. While we strive to provide a conducive space for our team members, it is equally important that each individual feels comfortable enough to share their thoughts and experiences. Despite our best efforts, there may be instances where someone might not feel at ease. We recognize that this can happen even if we have done everything within our power to encourage openness.
[00:30] Creating a Safe Space for Belonging and Support
In our quest to foster a sense of belonging and importance among our team members, it is crucial to recognize that we cannot force anyone to change or open up. Our goal is to create a safe space where individuals feel valued and understood, but we cannot achieve this for everyone. Building trust and connection is essential in creating that safety, and while some may choose to share their experiences with us, others may find solace with different colleagues throughout our organization. We must strive to create a safe space for everyone. If you are unsure how to do this or feel uncomfortable, it’s important leaders are able to facilitate a conversation about it.
[02:19] Embracing Empathetic Leadership: Prioritizing Well-being and Support for All
It takes self-awareness to step aside and prioritize someone else's well-being. Remember, it is not about us; it is about creating an environment where individuals can be heard and supported. As leaders, we are here to listen to them and connect them with the right person. We may not have all the answers, but it’s important we’re able to come up with options and solutions so we can be there for them in every step of the way. This is what empathetic leadership is all about - having each other's backs and ensuring that no one faces challenges alone.
As leaders, there are certainly tough days when we don't feel our best. In this insightful discussion, learn about the importance of self-compassion in leadership and why asking yourself "What do I need?" on those difficult days can help you refocus on self-care. I’m also sharing the challenges and loneliness of leadership, and why going easy on yourself is very important in self-care.
Tune in for relatable advice on balancing empathy for others with empathy for yourself - even on your worst days. This is a must-listen for any leader looking to sustain well-being in high-pressure roles.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
How to practice self-compassion as an empathetic leader on bad days
The power of asking yourself “What do I need?”
The loneliness of leadership and the importance of self-compassion
Episode Highlights:
[00:08] How to Practice Self-Compassion as an Empathetic Leader on Bad Days
As an empathetic leader, it's natural to want to always show up as your best self. However, there will be days when you fall short and don't meet your own high expectations. It's important to practice self-compassion on these bad days.
When you find yourself in this situation, try to acknowledge your feelings and the fact that you're not perfect. Ask yourself what you need in that moment to help you move forward. Maybe it's taking a break, talking to a friend or colleague, or simply practicing some deep breathing exercises.
It's also important to let go of any negative self-talk or self-judgment. Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes and that you're still growing and learning as a leader. Instead of dwelling on your shortcomings, focus on the positive actions you can take to improve.
[00:40] The Power of Asking Yourself "What Do I Need?"
As human beings, we all have moments where we miss the mark and don't meet our own expectations. During these times, it's natural to feel frustrated or overwhelmed. However, instead of dwelling on what went wrong, it's important to ask yourself a simple yet powerful question: "What do I need?"
By shifting your focus to your needs in the present moment, you can take steps to prioritize your well-being and improve your overall state of mind. It may be as simple as taking a break, practicing self-care, or reaching out to a supportive friend or colleague.
[01:08] The Loneliness of Leadership and the Importance of Self-Compassion
Being a leader can be an isolating experience that leaves you feeling confused and overwhelmed. It can feel like you're having conversations behind closed doors that are alarming and stressful. It's important to recognize that it's okay to struggle and that you need to go easy on yourself. Finding compassion for yourself can be difficult but it's crucial for your well-being. Making friends and building a peer group is essential for support. Remember, you need each other – the group of peers you surround yourself with and the ones you don't want are equally important in your growth as a leader. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, it's not always easy but it's worth it.
Ever heard of the term “empathetic leadership”? But what does that really mean? In this episode, learn how empathy leads to kindness and compassion through our actions – rather than just emotions. Together, let’s explore how assuming others may be going through something and greeting them with care, tenderness, and support can positively impact others. This episode is a great reminder of the importance of focusing on how we make others feel!
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Empathy and its role in kindness and compassion
Empathetic leadership and kindness in the workplace
Episode Highlights:
[00:10] Empathy and Its Role in Kindness and Compassion
Empathy is the driving force behind kindness and compassion, shaping our ability to understand and connect with others. Teaching children these values is crucial, as they lay the foundation for empathy through behaviors like sharing and gratitude. In moments when we feel unsure, simple acts of kindness and asking how we can support someone can make a significant impact. Empathy goes beyond trying to fully understand another's perspective; instead, it allows us to be supportive passengers on their unique journey. Regardless of our differences, empathy enables us to connect on a fundamental human level and become skilled companions to those around us.
[01:52] Empathetic Leadership and Kindness in the Workplace
We believe in the power of collective work and turning those we lead into champions, ultimately allowing us all to grow and succeed together. Empathetic leadership is at the core of our values, reminding us to do the right thing and be a source of calm for others in their storms. We recognize that everyone is facing their own challenges, so let's approach each interaction with tenderness and intention. Our energy speaks volumes before we even say a word, leaving a lasting impact on others. Let's prioritize making others feel valued and remembered, knowing that how we make them feel is what truly matters.
My path wasn't always clear - I struggled in school with dyslexia but found my strengths in sports and connecting with others. After some exploring and setbacks, I discovered a passion for human behavior that led me to a career in advertising. My story shows that success takes twists and turns. Have faith that every experience, even the hard times, contributes to who you are meant to become. Tune in to hear how I kept learning from life and following my interests, which allowed opportunities I never saw coming. I hope my story inspires you as you walk your own nonlinear path.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
A struggle with dyslexia
Navigating the digital world
Embracing adventure and coaching
The power of versatility at VaynerMedia
Episode Highlights:
[00:09] Overcoming Challenges and Exploring Alternative Paths
Growing up as a dyslexic student, I faced significant struggles in traditional education. However, my passion for soccer and tennis allowed me to shine as a team captain. Despite my academic difficulties, I developed a love for people and embraced the messy journey of self-discovery. Taking a break from college, I delved into deep spirituality and energy work while living in San Francisco. This period of exploration eventually led me back to school, where I immersed myself in psychology and human behavior. The tools and knowledge I gained from studying Buddhism and energy work still guide me today.
[02:42] A Serendipitous Journey to London and Meeting Gary Vaynerchuk
In 1998, I started my career in the digital industry, quickly excelling as a project manager with a talent for teamwork and motivation. This led me to advertising agencies in San Francisco, where I transitioned from project manager to account manager and eventually became a strategist, propelling my career forward. A fortunate opportunity arose to work at JWT London despite the economic downturn in 2009, leading to four successful years in the city. It was during this time that I crossed paths with renowned business figure Gary Vaynerchuk, resulting in an instant connection and my subsequent move to New York City to join him.
[04:42] Embracing Adventure and Coaching Along the Way
Before my time in London, I experienced the challenges of post-9/11 layoffs in the dot-com industry. To overcome this setback, I co-founded an outdoor adventure surfing company called Girls Adventure Owl in San Francisco. Spending 256 days in the Pacific Ocean teaching surfing, rock climbing, and mountaineering, I discovered my love for coaching and cheering others on. This passion for guiding and supporting others remains a core part of who I am today.
[05:25] The Power of Versatility and Collaboration at VaynerMedia
Joining VaynerMedia unlocked a world of endless possibilities. The company fosters a culture of becoming practitioners in various fields, allowing me to explore and excel in different areas. With each opportunity thrown my way, whether it's catching the ball or passing it to a teammate, I embrace the challenge and contribute to the team's success. It is this collaborative spirit that defines our work at VaynerMedia and empowers us to achieve greatness together.
Discover the power of relational intelligence and unlock the key to building meaningful connections. Tune in to this episode as I delve into the importance of authentic communication, self-awareness, and nurturing relationships. I’m also sharing some insights on why younger employees may try to get all their needs met at work and some perspective on how to widen your lens.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
The importance of relational intelligence
Navigating the multigenerational workplace
Embracing the beautiful chaos
Episode Highlights:
[00:07] The Importance of Relational Intelligence
Our experiences, from unmet expectations to missed achievements, can leave us feeling invalidated and craving support. Whether it's parents not attending our soccer practices or failing to secure a trophy, these moments shape our family dynamics, chosen connections, and relationships. Navigating the complexities of life requires a deep understanding of relational intelligence. This essential skill empowers us to engage authentically, communicate effectively, and thrive in various social settings. In today's world, developing relational intelligence is crucial not only for personal growth but also for navigating everyday interactions with ease.
[00:37] Navigating the Multigenerational Workplace
In today's workplace, we find ourselves amidst a diverse mix of five generations. Managing such a dynamic can be challenging, especially when considering the differing needs and expectations of Generation Z, Millennials, Generation X, and Baby Boomers. Younger individuals often come to work seeking fulfillment, driven by unmet needs in various areas of their lives. However, it is important to acknowledge that work alone cannot meet all those needs, just as relationships fall short in fulfilling every aspect of our lives. As we navigate this complex landscape, it is crucial to broaden our perspective and recognize that relying solely on the workplace to provide purpose, job opportunities, and personal growth is unrealistic. While there may not be a definitive solution, understanding this reality can help us reassess our expectations and seek fulfillment in a balanced and holistic way.
[01:37] Embracing the Beautiful Chaos
Life is a beautifully messy journey for all of us, and I find joy in the midst of it. It's an honor when someone trusts me enough to include me in their mess. With boundaries in place, I see myself as a passenger, never taking control or steering the car. I'm there to offer validation and support, letting them know that they matter and they are safe within the walls we create together. No matter what challenges arise, we can find solutions and rebuild. In this space, they can spread their wings and soar, knowing I'll be there as their faithful passenger.
Our ability to handle feelings develops over time, that’s why it's so important to have strategies for sharing or containing emotions appropriately at your job. As leaders, we play a key role in supporting staff through challenging times by providing guidance – not isolation.
Today, let's talk about navigating emotional boundaries in the workplace and embracing emotional support in the professional setting. By creating a supportive environment where emotional well-being is prioritized, we can foster a healthier and more productive workplace.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Navigating emotional boundaries in the workplcae
Embracing emotional support in the workplace
Episode Highlights:
[00:22] Navigating Emotional Boundaries in the Workplace
In the workplace, it's crucial to have self-awareness and know how much to share with colleagues, how much to keep to oneself, and what to save for therapy or close friends. However, some individuals may choose to express everything they're going through. As leaders or HR professionals who genuinely care, it becomes our responsibility to support and help them rebuild without isolating them.
[01:04] Embracing Emotional Support in the Workplace
In the past, emotions were rarely acknowledged or valued in the workplace until the arrival of Gen Z. There was no concern for how employees felt, even for something as minor as having a splinter. Nowadays, everyone has their share of challenges. As a metaphorical duty, my role is to listen and acknowledge their struggles by saying, "I hear you got a splinter." I then guide them towards the available resources, like a first aid kit, empowering them to take control of their own healing rather than simply providing a temporary solution like a band-aid. This approach fosters a supportive environment where emotional well-being is prioritized.
In the workplace, emotions are contagious. The energy we bring not only affects ourselves but also influences those around us. In this episode, I talk about how we can make a conscious effort to create a positive and supportive atmosphere where everyone's emotions are respected and acknowledged. Together, we can build a thriving work culture!
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
How Gen Z workers want more openness and transparency in the workplace
The balance between sharing emotions at work and being too emotional
The importance of awareness of others and inclusive leadership
The role of emotional contagion and how leaders set the tone
The need for leaders to be aware of different workers' needs and situations
Episode Highlights:
[07:53] Navigating Gen Z's Emotional Expression in the Workplace
In our midst, we are fortunate to have an abundance of Gen Z individuals who are eager to open up and share their innermost thoughts, aspirations, challenges, and worries with you. It leads us to ponder the following: Where do we draw the line between appropriate and excessive emotional expression in the professional setting?
[08:28] Finding Connection Beyond the Screen
In this era of constant digital immersion, it is undeniable that a significant portion of our lives is spent in isolation, hidden behind screens. It is intriguing to note that despite the virtual barriers, we often remain oblivious to the most basic details about those around us, like their physical appearance. However, as we step into different cultural, professional, or social environments such as work, church, or soccer practice, we are bound to encounter individuals who share our experiences and stand alongside us, bridging the gap of solitude.
[09:10] The Power of Emotional Contagion: Spreading Positive Energy
In every social setting, whether it's a birthday party, a place of worship, or the office, there exists a fascinating phenomenon known as emotional contagion. When we enter a room, we carry with us a unique energy that has the potential to positively influence those around us. It is crucial to be cognizant of this power and the impact it can have on others, emphasizing the importance of being attuned to the emotions and experiences of those we encounter.
Join me as I take you on an incredible journey of growth within VaynerMedia. From my humble beginnings – to now overseeing the cultural aspect – I've witnessed the company's remarkable expansion from 289 employees to a global workforce of 2,000 in just 9 years! Let's dive into how I helped foster a thriving company culture and the power of long-lasting bonds among our amazing team.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
A successful career in advertising as a strategist
Introduced to Gary Vaynerchuk in 2013 and started working with him in 2014
The role evolved to becoming the Chief Heart Officer
The ability to connect with and mentor others
A strong sense of community and culture
A belief that culture is the heartbeat and pulse of the company
Episode Highlights:
[00:07] The Journey from Advertising Strategist to Chief Heart Officer
I've had an incredible journey in the advertising industry, working as a strategist for many years. It was a stroke of luck that I landed a job in San Francisco during the dot-com boom in 1998. I focused on digital advertising, helping clients develop effective strategies to bring their products to market. My career took an exciting turn when my best friend introduced me to Gary Vaynerchuk in 2013. We instantly connected, and in May 2014, I joined his team. It's been nine years since then, and I've had the privilege of working closely with Gary and being a part of this amazing organization.
[00:51] Embracing Connection and Culture
Working with Gary Vaynerchuk revealed that my role went beyond client work. People sought me out for mentorship and genuine conversations. On my one-year anniversary, I expressed my passion for focusing on people and the organization's culture. Surprisingly, Gary appointed me as the Chief Heart Officer, a privilege that speaks to his trust in me. This journey is incredibly special and meaningful.
[01:55] Building a Thriving Community: The Growth, Longevity, and Heartbeat of Our Organization
When I first joined, we were a team of 289 individuals. Now, we have expanded to a global workforce of 2000 people, experiencing remarkable growth. What sets us apart is the longevity of our team members, with most staying for four to ten years. This creates a rich environment of osmosis learning and shared experiences. I am truly appreciative of the shorthand communication and emotional efficiency we have cultivated, along with the deep bonds and friendships formed. It's incredible to witness the love that has blossomed within our organization, resulting in marriages and even the birth of our first Vayner baby, a name thoughtfully coined by Gary. For me, this culture embodies the heartbeat of our organization and represents the essence of who we are.
Resources Mentioned:
Creating a positive and compassionate working environment starts with leading by example. In this episode, we discuss the importance of leading with our hearts in a working environment. Leading by example is crucial to enabling and empowering others to do the same. The world in which we live can present triggers that affect our behavior, but consistency in how we show up is crucial. Learn how to create a positive working environment that enables everyone to lead with their hearts.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Modeling good behaviors to empower others to lead with their hearts
The importance of consistency
Showing up in a way others want you in the room
Seeing the best in people
Episode Highlights:
[00:01] The Importance of Leading by Example and Consistency in Empowering Others
Enabling and empowering others to be their best selves starts with modeling good behaviors and leading by example. By consistently demonstrating kindness, compassion, and positivity, we can inspire others to do the same. Whether it's holding the door open or simply saying hello, small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect that positively impacts the workplace environment. Our actions can influence and empower others to lead with their hearts. So let’s strive for consistency in our behavior and be a positive force in the workplace, inspiring others to do the same.
[00:08] The Power of Positive Presence and Seeing the Best in People
When we show up in a way that others want us in the room, we bring positive energy that can influence and empower those around us. By demonstrating compassion and kindness, we can inspire others to follow suit and lead with their hearts. Seeing the best in people, recognizing their potential, and supporting them in their growth can make a significant impact on the workplace environment.
Being consistent in our behavior, modeling good behaviors, and spending time understanding what might be preventing others from showing kindness is crucial. By taking these steps, we can create a positive and uplifting environment that enables everyone to thrive. So let's embrace the power of positive presence and see the best in people to empower them to lead with their hearts.
At VaynerMedia, it feels like you just arrived and also like you've been around forever. I've been here for nine years myself, but some days it feels like only two and others feel like 18. The secret to feeling at home is having a team that sticks together like glue!
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Why working at VaynerMedia feels timeless
The lack of intimacy in tech
Becoming a part of the glue in a team
Finding the momentum that works for you and your team
The importance of self-awareness and self-care as leaders
Episode Highlights:
[00:42] Why Working at VaynerMedia Feels Timeless
Working at VaynerMedia feels like you've been working there for a long time due to several factors. Firstly, the familiarity and camaraderie that come with being part of a close-knit team contribute to a sense of belonging and attachment that can make time seem to fly by. Additionally, the fast-paced nature of the company means that there is always something new to learn and keep up with, which can make it feel like you've been there for a shorter time than you actually have. The speaker also mentions that there is a certain flow to the work that can be established relatively quickly, which creates a sense of routine and comfort. Ultimately, the combination of these factors makes working at VaynerMedia a unique and engaging experience that can lead to a sense of timelessness.
[01:12] The Cost of Scale: Exploring the Lack of Intimacy in Larger Tech Companies
I've noticed that at larger tech companies, there is a certain lack of intimacy compared to smaller teams. While these companies have to run with high efficiency to serve millions or even billions of people, this focus on scale can sometimes come at the cost of personal connection. Even though I feel appreciated and liked on these teams, it often feels like these sentiments are just surface-level interactions and don't extend beyond that. This creates a sense of distance and makes it harder to establish deeper connections or a sense of community within the workplace. As a result, I aim to be part of the glue that holds teams together, cultivating an environment where everyone feels valued and supported. The "soundless glue" symbolizes our shared commitment to building a strong and supportive team culture.
[01:55] Finding the Right Kind of Momentum
To get your team going, you have to know when to mix things up and try new approaches with a can-do attitude. It helps to be around other people who are always learning and exploring too! But keep in mind, not everyone will react the same so be open to different energy styles. To keep the momentum going, make sure everyone knows what they're working towards and keep pushing for improvements and innovation. Just don't forget that change can be scary but it's necessary for growth.
[02:57] The Importance of Self-Awareness and Self-Care in Leadership
Good leaders know themselves well. They take the time to ask themselves tough questions or get help from their team if needed. When our team is feeling down and out, we have to be there for them. We can relate to their feelings and give them a hand by helping with fears, imposter syndrome, and emotional baggage. Just remember, we're human too, so we have to be careful not to carry too much on our own shoulders. That's why self-awareness and self-care are super important for good leadership
Resources mentioned:
Today, we focus on the power of asking for help from those closest to us, the importance of understanding and connecting with the human experience, and what we truly deserve in life. In this episode, we highlight how we can all strive for a more fulfilling life and support one another in our journeys. Join us as we explore these universal themes and gain insights that can help us navigate the ups and downs of life.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
The power of asking your people
Focusing on the human experience
What we all truly deserve
Episode Highlights:
[00:27] The Power of Asking Your People
It's fascinating to feel deserving enough to approach certain individuals, regardless of whether you're reaching out to one or multiple people. If they're your people, you'll feel comfortable being vulnerable with them. It's crazy to think that despite our vastly different backgrounds and ages, we can still have meaningful conversations about universal human experiences. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or what your beliefs are - we all go through struggles and can relate to one another.
[00:32] Focusing on the Human Experience
It's pretty amazing that despite our vastly different life experiences and ages, we can still have such an authentic and meaningful conversation. This just goes to show that real issues affect everyone, regardless of their background, ethnicity, religion, or relationship status. At the end of the day, we all share the human experience.
[01:05] What We All Truly Deserve
We all want to lead fulfilling lives and avoid getting caught up in negative patterns. We deserve more than just a mediocre existence, and as we grow and evolve, we learn how to rise above our challenges and limitations. As we meet new people along the way, we naturally want to support and uplift them in any way we can. After all, we're all on this journey together.
In this podcast episode, we explore one of the most fundamental human needs - connection. We delve into the origin of the word "connection" and what it truly means for us as individuals living in a society. As humans, we seek to bind ourselves together, to connect with others in a way that allows us to become one.
We discuss how the need for connection is wired into us from birth, how it shapes our work relationships, and why it's essential to belong. Join us as we explore the power of connection and how it can help us create magic in our lives.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Connection is a fundamental human need that comes from the Middle English word "binding together."
Seeking connection allows us to become one in a moment of trust and validation
Why validation is even more essential than connection
Connection and validation are crucial in building workplace relationships
Human beings are wired to connect and belong but fail to recognize the importance of both in our personal and professional lives
Episode Highlights:
[00:30] Connection = Binding Together
"Connection" comes from Middle English and means "binding together." As humans, we desire connection and a sense of belonging through trust and validation. In these moments, we become one with others, sharing our experiences and validating our existence. This speaks to our human nature and the importance of building meaningful relationships.
[01:20] Building Mutual Trust and Validation
In a moment of connection, there is mutual trust and validation, and we share our experiences with each other. We listen to each other with empathy and validate each other's existence to the best of our abilities. This creates a feeling of becoming one with the other person.
[01:42] Why Validation is More Important that Connection
Validation is the act of truly seeing, hearing, and understanding another person. It means giving them permission to go forth and pursue their goals with the knowledge that they have your support and validation as a witness and mirror. In many ways, validation is even more essential than connection because it represents the next step in forming a strong bond with someone. It says, "I see you, I hear you, and I've got you." This mutual sense of validation allows us to bind together and do great things.
[02:24] Connection in the Workplace
The power of connection is something that we can all benefit from, especially in the workplace. We are wired to connect and belong, and this is our time to come together, bind with one another, and create something magical. So, do something! Bind together and make things happen. With connection and collaboration, anything is possible.
In a world that constantly demands our attention, it's easy to overlook the little things that make all the difference. We don't need grand gestures or flashy demonstrations of affection to feel valued. Instead, it's the small moments - the validation in a conversation, the effort to check in on someone, the willingness to truly listen - that hold real meaning. Join us today as we discuss how these little things can create a big impact on our relationships.
Unfortunately, in our busy lives, these moments often fall by the wayside, and with them, the connections they foster. And yet, as many have pointed out, these connections are crucial. They form the foundation of psychological safety, the fertile soil in which trust can grow. In short, it's the little things that help us truly connect with one another and create a sense of belonging. So let's not forget to take a moment to appreciate them.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Why the little things matter in conversations
Why bypassing validation and listening hurts relationships
How creating a sense of belonging strengthens relationships
Episode Highlights:
[00:13] Why The Little Things Matter in Conversation
In our fast-paced lives, it's all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily tasks and responsibilities. We rush from one thing to the next, barely taking a moment to catch our breath, let alone connect with those around us. And yet, it's the connections we make that ultimately bring meaning and depth to our lives.
That's why the extra moments we take in a conversation - the validation we offer, the effort to check in on someone, the willingness to truly listen and understand - are so incredibly crucial. These acts may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but they can have a profound impact on our relationships and our sense of belonging.
[00:35] Why Bypassing Validation and Listening Hurts Relationships
When we let the busy-ness of life overwhelm us, it's easy to forget the importance of truly connecting with those around us. We may engage in polite conversation, exchange pleasantries, and even discuss pressing matters, but unless we take the time to really listen and understand one another, we're missing out on something vital. In fact, when we bypass the crucial step of validation, checking in, and listening to understand, we're not just skipping an interaction - we're bypassing a connection. And it's those connections that really matter in the end. They form the fabric of our relationships, providing a sense of support, belonging, and understanding that can sustain us through even the toughest times.
[00:44] How Creating a Sense of Belonging Strengthens Relationships
Creating a sense of psychological safety is essential for fostering healthy relationships, whether in the workplace or in our personal lives. It acts as the foundation upon which trust and belonging can grow. If we take psychological safety as our common denominator, it's like the soil that underlies the growth of any plant. Just like plants need fertilizer to thrive, relationships need psychological safety to flourish. By establishing a sense of belonging and acceptance, we provide the nutrients necessary for trust and connection to take root. Once psychological safety is in place, the fibers of trust start to get sewn into the connection between individuals. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together, and it allows us to take risks and be vulnerable with one another. This vulnerability, in turn, leads to deeper connections and a greater sense of understanding and empathy.
Giving feedback to employees is an essential part of leadership and an essential part of a person's growth. However, it can be challenging to deliver feedback that doesn't come across as cold, biased or too personal. I have the honor of giving people my “subjective” feedback daily, and what I have learned in these years, is before I speak, it's important to ensure I am coming from a neutral place, my feedback will be clear and specific and it will also be kind and actionable. Coming from a neutral place can help ensure that the feedback is received positively and is aimed at helping the employee realize their potential.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Checking your motivations behind giving feedback
Delivering feedback from a kind, clear and neutral place
Turning employees into heroes
Episode Highlights:
[00:08] Delivering Feedback from a Neutral Place
As a person who regularly gives feedback to employees, it is crucial to approach every interaction with care. It is necessary to avoid letting personal biases and opinions cloud our judgments. When providing feedback, it's vital to ensure that we are coming from a neutral place, with the employee's growth and development as the focal point.
Before giving feedback, it's important to check our motivations. We need to ensure that we are coming from a place of equality and neutrality. It's crucial to remember that feedback is not about us, but rather, it's about the employee's growth and success. A neutral approach fosters a sense of safety, facilitating open communication with our employees. This improves our ability to deliver feedback that can be impactful and well-received.
[00:31] Turning Employees Into Heroes
Giving feedback can be scary, but it can also be an opportunity to turn employees into heroes. As a leader, it's crucial to approach these conversations with kindness, clarity, and good intentions. When delivering feedback, it's essential to be kind and clear with your intentions. Coming from a place of empathy and respect can help employees feel valued and supported. Being clear with your message ensures that the employee understands your expectations and the areas they need to work on.
As a leader, you may not have all the answers. Still, you have a good idea of some of the solutions employees should take to improve. Sharing your ideas provides employees with actionable steps they can take to develop and grow. This approach shows you're invested in their success and committed to helping them progress in their careers. As a result, feedback becomes an ongoing conversation, and employees trust their leaders to help them achieve their goals and develop in their roles.
At times, being vulnerable can be uncomfortable and scary, particularly in the workplace where there is an emphasis on projecting strength and professionalism. However, it is this vulnerability that often brings us closer to our colleagues and allows us to connect on a personal level.
In this episode, we’re going to dive into how you can leverage vulnerability and turn it into a superpower. Let's break the stigma surrounding vulnerability. It takes courage to be vulnerable, and we want to celebrate that.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Creating a safe space where employees can be vulnerable and courageous is important for their well-being and performance.
Fear of being seen as weak or sensitive may prevent people from being vulnerable at work.
Encouraging vulnerability and offering support can foster trust and improve relationships between colleagues.
Showing empathy and appreciation for someone's vulnerability can make them feel seen and heard.
Episode Highlights:
“I said to him “I want this to be a place where people feel like they can be vulnerable, where they can be courageous, and they don't have to ask if they can share something with another"
[00:02] Creating a Safe Space at Work
I had this moment today with an employee who came in and asked if he could be vulnerable with me and he shared some stuff going on with him that contributed to his performance issues amidst being a high performer.
We all want a safe space for our employees to share their vulnerability, a safe space where they feel they can be courageous, where they don’t have to ask, and where their vulnerability is not seen as a weakness.
[00:39] Recognizing Strength in Vulnerability
As leaders, we must strive to provide a safe space where employees can share their vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or retaliation. It's crucial to create an environment where they feel safe enough to be courageous by speaking up.
Vulnerability has often been stigmatized as a weakness; however, it takes an immense amount of strength to allow oneself to be vulnerable. And as leaders, acknowledging and responding to vulnerability can go a long way in creating an inclusive and supportive environment.
Whether in business or personal life, a pivot happens in a person’s life, usually, when there is a certain rumbling or hunger inside for more or for something different. This feeling of restlessness or dissatisfaction is often our nudge that we probably need to explore new opportunities, take on new challenges, or pursue different goals.
In today’s episode, I’m sharing how I pivoted from my role as a client service strategist to now, in service of the people. That rumbling started six years even before I actually did it.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Listening to the rumbling inside
The value of a coach
The importance of self-awareness to stay attuned to the signs around us
Welcoming our signs and messages with open arms
Episode Highlights:
[00:16] The Value of a Coach
The decision to pivot is a deeply personal one, and the process will vary depending on the individual and the situation. However, it's important to approach the decision with an open mind, a willingness to take risks, and a commitment to makeing informed choices. Taking action can really be challenging and may require support, especially from a coach, to give you the confidence you need.
[01:08] The Importance of Self-Awareness
When we are self-aware and in- tune with ourselves, we are more likely to recognize the signs and messages that we receive from our inner voice or intuition. By developing our self-awareness, we can better understand our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and make more conscious and intentional decisions that align with our values and goals.
[01:21] Welcoming Signs with Open Arms
When we have that level of self-awareness, we can easily push away things in a relationship or bad habits or self-sabotaging behaviors that. It may come up and jump and get you in some way shape or form. But what’s important is you welcome them with open arms.
By welcoming these patterns with open arms, we can begin to understand why they are present and how they are serving us. This understanding can help us develop more compassionate and effective strategies for addressing these patterns and creating healthier behaviors and relationships.
Who wouldn’t want to be working for a company with the type of culture that’s kind and collaborative? If you are nodding your head, then you most likely relate to the vibes of that company - and you have that culture inside of you. You will then carry that with you, no matter where you go.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Figuring out different company cultures
Culture is everyone’s responsibility
Carrying culture with you
Episode Highlights:
[01:12] Identifying with the Culture That’s Already Within You
When you love what you’re doing in the company and you’ve already identified with it, then that culture is already within you.
[01:24] Asking About a Company’s Culture
As you go and interview places, you're going to want to ask around if they’ve got a happy culture and what way is it reflected. A good way to find out about a company’s culture is to ask the interviewers themselves.
[02:00] Everyone’s Responsibility
Fundamentally, culture is everyone's responsibility, for people to play a part in, and whether they want to cultivate it or not. And so, whether you’re a ray of sunshine or you wish to be cynical, whatever you do can impact the culture of the organization.
[02:19] Carrying Culture with You
By taking part in a company’s culture, then you’re also part of its growth. And so, even if you’ve already left the company, it’s still something that you can always take out of your back pocket whenever you need it. You’re carrying that culture with you and it’s with you wherever you go.
So many of us have a deep desire to “fix” people. We often feel so fulfilled when we think we are helping out, thinking we are the wise ol’ owls who have the answers. However there actually is no need to fix people, because we can’t. We can’t change anyone, only ourselves. In today’s episode, we talk about how you can get over this desire to “fix” people, the power of checking in with yourself, and the beauty of allowing certain things to take their time.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Fixing people is not what causes happiness nor is it your role
The value of checking in with yourself
The importance of emotional bravery and taking bold steps
On courage and patience
Episode Highlights:
[00:14] Fixing People Doesn’t Define Happiness
Fixing people doesn’t make you happy - being a passenger with them is what’s going to make you happy. Be someone that provides a safe shore or an island for them to swim to and to achieve calm, steadiness, and hopefully, good insight. And so, fixing people is not what’s really going to fill you.
You can't fix anyone, and you can only be with them to witness what's going on. Maybe offer some advice if asked, and just be an ear for them so that whatever comes out of their mouth will help them in course-correcting. They can then rewrite the story so that they're not the victims, and that it speaks the truth, and not just from the fabrication of our negative minds.
[03:13] The Value of Checking In with Yourself
It is very important to be constantly checking in with yourself every day, throughout the day. If you've fallen 12,000 times then be sure to get up 12,001 times – and that's the key. And so, check in with your energy all day long because you might only need to take a walk or drink water for you to feel better and somehow reset.
[05:49] Courage and Patience
Take a bold step, be courageous, and be emotionally brave. Be around people who are on the same frequency as yours, even if you completely have different lives and challenges. Things actually take time and it's worth it.
It takes a village to run and grow a business. You have to become committed and consistent to show up in the right community and for the right community. And even when you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, you will still have to show up for you every day.
Our imposter syndrome is a close cousin to our limiting beliefs. These are both false narratives. They're a negative talk track, which isn’t true, but we have to outsmart it. And the only way to outsmart it is to get rational.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
We’re all beginners and students of life.
The 3-column exercise to combat imposter syndrome
Episode Highlights:
[03:27] We’re All Beginners in Life
Many of us, if not all, are still beginners in different aspects of our lives. We're all students. And we are all Teachers. Having this kind of mindset brings us together.
[04:09] Exercise to Combat Imposter Syndrome
Column 1: What is that negative voice telling you and what is the imposter telling you? Maybe, it's telling you that you're not good enough or you're not smart enough. However, you cannot usually find the evidence to say, “Yes, I’m an imposter. You're right.”
Column 2: This next column is about where you write down how you know it’s true. How do you know you’re not good enough? And you look around and you say, “Actually, I don't know that because I'm just as smart as everyone else.”
Column 3: Here, you say, “Look at the body of evidence. Look at the work I've done that tells me I’m actually good, I am smart, I am average height, and I am whatever it is."
Why is it easier to be negative? Well, it's not really easy. But it's a choice people make to see the world. But what happens if you refuse to see the world as half-empty, and instead, see it as half-full? Positivity is a choice as much as happiness is a choice. Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to only focus on the negative side of things and refuse to see the other side of it. What will you choose?
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Choose to see the world half-full.
Life is a work in progress.
Abundance is everywhere.
Episode Highlights:
[01:02] See the World Half-Full
Negativity is such a drag on the system. Choosing to see the world with the glass empty or almost empty only defeats you. It defeats the narrative that one must tell themselves in order to stay in that place of being right.
[01:48] Abundance is Everywhere
Life is a work in progress, yet there’s so much abundance out there. There's an abundance of happiness, joy, and possibilities. There's so much waiting for us with open arms if we just learn to take it, grab it, embody it, and share it.
Today Nov 21st, marks the 15-year anniversary of my cousin Dayn taking his life. We had adopted Dayn as our brother. A phenomenal, gorgeous, handsome, funny, and grateful human being, Dayn was a light in this world and his light went out. In this episode, I’m sharing some things I’ve learned over the years that I would have told Dayn today – although he might be listening to me right now as well. So I’m sending all of these thoughts out into the universe today.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- On nurturing relationships
- On love, courage, patience, and belonging
- On joy, gratitude, and forgiveness
- On passion, purpose, and presence
- On acceptance and action
Episode Highlights:
[00:58] On Nurturing Relationships
- Family first, last, and always. Blood will always run thicker than water.
- There is nothing like lifelong friends. Cherish them, keep in touch, don't disappear, and don't ghost them. They will be your memory when you forget, but they will also love you always, and most often, laugh at any of your bad jokes.
- Answer the phone when you know the person calling needs to hear your voice. We may not use the phone much anymore these days since we use a lot of text messaging and everything else. But when that phone rings, pick it up.
[01:35] On Love, Courage, Patience, and Belonging
- True love is like water. True lust is like lightning. Learn the difference. Make your choices wisely.
- Courage – when you taste it, don’t give up. Keep moving with it and life opens up.
- It's never too late to let love in. And it's never too late to let someone love the real you. It's never ever too late in the day to tell the people you love that you love them.
- Limiting beliefs – we all have them. Once you spot them, do your best to not let them take over. When you can acknowledge them, smile and put them all in the backseat.
- Worthiness, recognition, belonging, attention, love – these are essential to us just like oxygen.
- It's okay to be a late bloomer. Be patient, your time will come.
[02:33] On Joy, Gratitude, and Forgiveness
- Music – find what moves you and crank it up!
- Bow down to each sunset, moonrise, and dawn… Bow down, rise up and give thanks!
- Happiness is your birthright – and it is a choice.
- Forgive yourself. Shame is a real killer of the soul. If you can’t kick it yourself, find someone to work it out with. You are bigger than it is.
[03:04] On Passion, Purpose, and Presence
- Never ever let someone steal your sunshine. There will be people who feel the need to do so… detach from them and walk into the light. Find stillness somewhere.
- Pause enough to look and see the goodness in others. Do this on purpose. Take time to listen. And be curious.
- Find a career that is not a job. Find what turns you on and lights you up and makes you want to get out of bed daily!
- Keep the past in the past.
[03:42] On Acceptance and Action
- You are I and I am you. We are all the same. With that, there is no judgment.
- It’s one thing to listen, and another thing to listen and act. Take action. Without it, there is no motion and there will be no outcome. You don't get points for holding back.
Don't take yourself so seriously. We are all in this together. Finally, in the words of Dayn, dance as though no one was watching. Wishing everyone beautiful sunrises, gorgeous sunsets, and a warm holiday season!
We can really never truly feel a sense of belonging if we are constantly betraying ourselves.
You might have heard of the term self-sabotage and wondered what that even means. Well, it’s actually the same thing as betraying yourself.
And part of that self-sabotage is having that feeling that you’re not worthy of anything. You’re not worthy of being loved or worthy of loving yourself. You can mask the pain with all the substances and relationships you have, but that will never go away unless you face it head-on. Don’t come looking for the solution outside when all the answers you need are right inside of you.
You are worthy of loving yourself. You are worthy of being loved. You are enough.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Your self-awareness journey is your birthright
- Looking into the ways we’re sabotaging ourselves
- Our responsibility to take care of one another
Episode Highlights:
[02:43] How to Find a Sense of Belonging
Some people might say emotions shouldn’t be in the workplace. But then as leaders, what are we running from? Finding a self of belonging is everybody’s work. And in order to do that, you have to find ways to develop self-awareness and practice vulnerability as a leader.
If you’re sabotaging or betraying yourself, there’s that feeling that you’re not worthy of anything. And that you don’t even have the right to be vulnerable. But this is everyone’s responsibility, not just yours.
It is our responsibility to take care of one another. And the only way to truly do that authentically is to be vulnerable with ourselves. Look at the things you might be running from and ways in which you are sabotaging and betraying your own sense of belonging.
It takes time, it takes work, and it takes support. But you can definitely start this journey of silencing self-sabotage by reaching out to others who might also be silencing their own selves through their own self-sabotage.
Gone are the days of leadership when leaders would never show an ounce of weakness. Vulnerability used to be seen as a flaw, .but it can actually be a superpower in the toolbox of anyone on their own hero journey.
In this conversation, Colonel J. Scot Heathman, a retired Air Mobility Wing Commander, shares his love of Star Wars, skills he learned and developed in the Air Force, and the power of spreading positivity in leadership.
Whether it’s getting involved in the community or serving his country, Scot has always loved doing something bigger than himself. Joining the Air Force was a way for him to accomplish his dream while serving at the same time. Scot is now getting into coaching and consulting, with the mission to help elevate others.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- How Star Wars was based on the hero’s journey
- The power of having a vision
- Being vulnerable enough to talk out loud as a leader
- How to spread a higher level of positivity in your team
- The power of servant leadership in the military
- Working with different generations
Episode Highlights:
[05:35] How to Stay Optimistic as a Leader
It's important for a leader to have that vision that they can also give to their team to make sure everyone is headed in the same direction. Having that vision fuels your optimism, which also fuels how you lead the team.
Surround yourself with people who have a high level of optimism and stay away from those who are fond of using the victim card.
[16:47] How to Spread Positivity in Leadership
As a leader, be vulnerable enough to talk out loud to your team about some things in your weekly meetings. Tell them not to take things personally if, at times, you just don’t feel at your 100% best. That little dialogue with them wipes out any perception, judgment, or defensiveness.
Understand the psychology of positivity in the workplace because it leads to a higher level of performance as well as better relationships.
Take subtle risks to show somebody or a team that there is some good out there. Kindness on display is not a bad thing.
There are a lot of crises happening right now and people need a bit of level-headedness. Even a little pick-me-up or telling them you got their back is so subtle. That level of optimism could change the nature of a crisis and how you work through it.
Be able to see your team from 20,000 feet up to know what's going on in your organization. See how you can connect people with each other and foster diversity in thinking.
At the same time, don’t just stay at the 20,000-foot perspective. Go down and get the frontline perspective and see it from there to get a richer picture. That probably means more listening and watching than talking.
[50:38] Working with Different Generations
If you have Gen Z members in your team and they’re not used to struggles, give them challenging experiences in a safe environment. Let them work through things on their own. You have to zoom in and out to see how beautiful things are at all levels.
Resources Mentioned:
Website: www.elevating-others.com
Instagram: @jscotheathman
It’s not about winging your answers to the questions thrown at you. The point is – if you’re a great leader, your leadership skills are not something you need to read about before any conversation. It’s all common sense.
And so, the next time you’re asked to be interviewed, you can tell the interviewer to save their questions. Besides, there’s nothing better than having a natural and spontaneous conversation about something that is so intuitive to you.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Staying in your strength
- Kindness and empathy are common sense if you’re a great leader
- Some traits of a leader that should be a natural part of us
Episode Highlights:
[00:58] Should You Prepare for Leadership Conversations?
If you’re a great leader, there’s no need for you to prepare or read about leadership before having any leadership conversations because everything you do is just common sense for you. You don’t need to know the questions ahead of time to talk about the things you’re passionate about because that should naturally come through.
[01:46] A Natural Part of You
Your ability to listen and your desire to better something for someone else are things that should be a natural part of you. Empathy, kindness, and vulnerability are as natural as breathing , and not something that you need to study before talking about it.
As a leader, you’re standing at the ready – with heart, intuition, and common sense. You’re ready to serve, take care of people, be with them and ride with them. You’re there to guide them. And all of that is who you are already. It’s not something you need to think about when you’re asked about these things.
In this episode, I’m switching chairs with my good friend, Andrea Wetherald, as she interviews me. We go in-depth about starting life over again at 40, leading people, and walking together on this journey.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Claude’s dream at 9yr old to be a movie director
- Finding your creative outlets
- Starting life again at 40
- Everyone’s responsibility to cultivate the culture in your workplace
- Making people seen and heard
- Dealing with burnout
Episode Highlights:
[16:32] Building a Healthy Work Culture
Develop a mindset in your workplace that gives off a vibe where everyone is just walking each other home. There are minutiae, but as humans, there's not a whole lot of difference. We all experience similar emotions. We’re all going to experience traumatic situations at some point because that's just how life is. We’re also going to go through our own healing journey. We're all going to experience loss, joy, happiness, and wonder.
As a leader, you have to be able to instill in your managers the importance of caring about people and what they’re working on outside of work. Think about how you can serve and show up because that is what you’re called to do. As a leader, you’re there to hold your people’s hearts and help them hold their own hearts.
[25:24] Getting Past Your Fear of Advocating for Yourself
When you’re in a room full of people, it’s normal to have that fear of speaking up. But you’re not going to get any points for holding back. You’ve got to learn how to advocate for yourself.
If you're invited to a meeting, you're there for a reason. Speak up. There are a lot of things that may get in the way – hierarchy, limiting beliefs, etc. – but cultivating the culture of a workplace should be everyone’s responsibility.
Look to create a space where everyone can share their ideas because no idea is wrong. It doesn’t mean every idea is going to be accepted, but at least they know there’s a safe space for them to be seen and heard.
In the wake of the Great Resignation, there's this real desire to make "work" work for everybody. And so, we have to unpack what that means and what that looks like. In this episode, Deepa Purushothaman shares her journey as a woman of color who, although an ultra-achiever in corporate America, made the decision to walk away and serve a deeper purpose.
Growing up, Deepa had a lot of questions about identity as one of the five students of color in her school. Her mother and her sister were very light-skinned while Deepa and her father were darker-skinned. They didn't talk about race at home and this happens to a lot of immigrant families. There was a lot of confusion and Deepa didn't have a sense of feeling she belonged. She ended up questioning herself– why she was not enough–when nothing ever had to do with her.
Deepa served as a corporate executive and a partner at Deloitte, being the first Indian female that made partner. After 21 years, Deepa left at the height of her career and in the early stages of COVID because she knew she was just done. She eventually started a company focused on creating a community and helping women of color advance, and she also wrote the book The First, the Few, the Only: How Women of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Growing up in an immigrant family of color
- Walking away at the height of her career
- Reflecting on the way people work
- Three questions for self-introspection
- Trusting your body to find that wisdom
- Signals that your workplace is not for you
- Redefining leadership and how we can change the future of work
Episode Highlights:
[10:21] The Power of Community
Deepa wrote the book realizing that in these spaces where we're navigating and having to figure it out, we have these shared stories around microaggressions, racism, and othering or just feeling like you didn't belong. There's magic in those rooms where we can unpack what needs to be unpacked and hold space for each other.
[11:53] Questioning the Way We Work
Although the book is focused on women of color, it does apply to so many people. It's a critique of the way we work and the model we're in. There is a real overworking, overperforming, and a real deep sense of security ingrained in so many women they don't even realize it.
Coming out of COVID, everyone is asking questions such as: What is the space I want work to take in my life? How do we do more fulfilling work? The book opens up a whole conversation around people's willingness to understand so we can make work work for everybody.
A lot of us are measured by external accolades and success. Deepa shares these three questions you should start asking yourself:
- What would you do if you didn't do this job?
- Do you have to do a big job like this to feel worthy?
- Don't you see that you are worthy of just being you?
We should not lose this moment that we're in, in terms of how we work, where we work, and all the questions in the last few years that have opened up an opportunity to do things differently. We're in a moment where we need more people to stay. But more of us are also awakening to the disconnects. And so this is a fascinating time to be asking these questions.
Resources Mentioned:
The First, the Few, the Only: How Women of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America
Do you have FOMO (fear of missing out)? Or are you just a voracious reader or avid learner who wants to constantly learn new, different things? At some point, you just have to learn to pause, take the time to read your mind, and ultimately realize that you don’t need anything else – because you are enough!
In this episode, sales and business growth coach and consultant, Martin Stellar, shares his insights into the power of reading your own mind as well as how to change your perspective in dealing with problems. Martin also stresses the importance of getting over yourself so you can focus on your customers or buyers instead.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Entering the monastery
- Changing your perspective on problems
- Living in the monastery vs. the outside world
- Dealing with external vs. internal struggles
- Why you need to get over yourself
- The “good egg” problem
- Not a numbers game, but people game
- The power of reading your mind
Episode Highlights:
[05:19] A Change in Perspective on Dealing with Problems – Both Externally and Internally
There is really nothing for you to make a fuss about because if you change your perspective, the problem becomes irrelevant and completely immaterial. When you’re experiencing external struggles or worldly problems, you can always deal with them by reading about them, Googling them, or getting a mentor or a coach. You can always find the solutions.
On the other hand, when you’re fighting against your internal battles, like self-arrogance, for instance, you may try to ignore that for years. But at some point when a pivoting moment finally happens, you have no other choice but to face yourself. And you can only deal with it either by letting that go or by learning to accept yourself despite your shortcomings.
[14:26] Get Over Yourself – and Focus on the Buyer!
Stop making it all about yourself when you're running your business. It's not about you, but your customers. Focus on them, be curious, and ask questions about them. Price is irrelevant at this point and you'll get that later anyway. But first, connect with your customers, show empathy, and see where that takes you. Once people make that switch, then sales and marketing will just come naturally without having to feel that you always have to do something.
[14:59] Not a Numbers Game, But a People Game
Realize that we are all separate beings and each of us is just a drop of water in this vast ocean. Now, what if you could stop thinking about your own droplets? Look at the other drop, and ask yourself questions about that person.
Instead of pitching yourself, step in with an open mind. Find out what is going on in the other person's life. what their concerns and visions are, and how they should solve them. Once you have sought permission to join them in that conversation going on in their head then both of you can create a shared vision and move forward together because you're not trying to sell something to somebody.
[37:00] The Power of Reading Your Mind
You could be a voracious reader, but how much do you actually remember what you read? How much of the knowledge, insights, and connections do you actually deploy in what you do? Sometimes, you have to let your thoughts meander and see what connections come up and just process everything in your mind instead of constantly adding information to it. Sometimes, you don’t need anything more than what you already have because you’re already complete as you are.
“It’s impossible,” said Pride.
“It’s risky,” said Experience.
“It’s pointless,” said Reason.
“Give it a try,” whispered the Heart.
This popular quote is a perfect depiction of this new era of leadership in the future of work. Leadership used to be something that just came from the top. People were bound by the confines of an organizational hierarchy that lead with fear and at times held them back from growing and flourishing.
But we’re now ushering into this new space of leadership where more and more companies have taken the courage to add color and texture to their culture, and have become more intentional with their leadership – which is to lead with a heart.
In today’s episode, find out how you can change the kind of leadership in your business today and what your next practice should be for your company?
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- The new era of leadership
- How we can change our leadership today
- Focusing on your next practices instead of best practices
Episode Highlights:
[00:50] The New Era of Leadership
We are now headed into an era where leadership at work is now filled with heart, courage, vulnerability, grace, curiosity, resilience, generosity, humility, acceptance, and so much more. We see humanity and empathy at work that the workspace now has never felt more alive and fluid.
We’re moving into a space where it’s okay for leaders to embrace and express vulnerability – they know they don’t have to have all the answers, nor do they have all the answers. It’s not always about being right, but about being better in the world.
Author Daniel Pink says, “Companies are finally realizing that we’re full-fledged human beings, not single-minded economic robots.” And that’s the way forward – 100% human at work.
[02:20] Transforming Leadership
Leadership transformation begins with those tough conversations. Have open discussions with your people and teams about real-world events. Make sure your employees feel seen, heard, valued, and that they matter. Provide them with challenges and opportunities for growth. Now, how are you able to do that?
This is all about the next practices, not the best practices. It’s no longer about what you did in the past that contributed to your business’ success. But what are the things you can do moving forward to help you evolve, and where are you evolving to?
Coming out of this pandemic, we all find ourselves in a space of great transformation. Now, it’s up to you how that transformation is going to look like for your company.
Ultimately, it takes courage for you to set aside your pride, experience, and reason, and start listening to your heart to become the space where all the magic happens!
Forgiveness is the most important skill you can have as a leader because it takes courage to take accountability and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. In this discussion, Andrea Flack-Wetherald talks about how you can use forgiveness as a superpower in leading so you can find joy in your life and your work.
Author of the book, The Funny Thing About Forgiveness, Andrea highlights lessons from improvised comedy and mindfulness practice, teaching leaders how to master the art of forgiveness by making it a part of their daily lives.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Why forgiveness is the most important leadership skill
- How she found her love of improv
- Choosing curiosity instead of judgment
- How forgiveness gives support and accountability together
- The concept of motivational interviewing
- The coming together of mindful improv with motivational interviewing
- Building a culture based on trust
- What forgiveness looks like in confrontation
Episode Highlights:
[11:33] Finding Her Love of Improv
Andrea did an improv workshop for the first time with a group of social workers who were helping refugees that had come to America and then found themselves becoming victims of domestic violence. Andrea reminded them that they were already living improv and they were even good at it. It was just a matter of identifying the tools they have so they could readily call upon them as needed. At that moment, Andrea realized her purpose on earth.
[13:05] How Improv Helps Your Daily Life
Through improv, you’re able to connect with people and explore with curiosity rather than judgment because you’re creating that safe space to just be who you are. It’s a tool belt you can use where, sometimes, you may need a chisel, or sometimes, you need a hammer. And so, you just use whatever comes in handy at that moment. Improv teaches you the principles of being present and trusting that everything you need is inside of you.
[16:52] Forgiveness is the Most Important Leadership Skill
Forgiveness is the most important leadership skill because everything else that you aspire to do as a leader hinges upon whether or not you’re carrying around shame, resentment, or fear. And only through forgiveness – forgiving yourself and giving yourself the grace to be authentic – are you able to free yourself up from those things.
[36:14] Why Forgiveness Has to Come First
It’s commonplace that when we forgive, we do it backward. We muster the courage to enter into confrontation and then see if somebody earns our forgiveness. But forgiveness has to come first. Don’t put your freedom in someone else's hands because once you’ve forgiven first, you’re also inviting the other person on this growth journey with you.
Resources Mentioned:
The Funny Thing About Forgiveness
Twitter: @andreawetherald
The word "mental" is often thrown around, and it does make sense considering how the term is often associated with academic fields like psychology and psychiatry. However, the mere use of the term somehow ignites this stigma, which has been used by society for many years to signify crazy, deranged, or out of mind.
Mental health, mental fitness, mental issues – these are words that are still creating some stigma. And so, people who are going through something feel like they don’t have a safe space to be who they are, afraid that they would be judged.
As a society, we have to be more conscious and aware of how we’re using the term “mental” to de-stigmatize what someone is going through emotionally. This then shifts how we look at things from a mental perspective into focusing more on a person’s emotional health and wellness.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Using mental illness as a label on someone or something
- Using emotional health or fitness instead
Episode Highlights:
As a society, we loosely use the term “mental” to label people, things, and even soft skills and hard skills. But someone hearing it who’s going through something may probably be feeling shame or embarrassment that they want to run away because they don’t want to be labeled as such.
Now, what if we could all be more aware and more intentional with not using the term at all and instead, use the word “emotional” when referring to health or fitness?
Not only does it take help to take the sting away, it also makes people who are going through these emotional challenges feel like they’re seen, heard, and understood. And knowing they have that safe space to be who they are is a good start.
Quote:
“When we use the term mental illness as a label… there is a person who is cringing and hiding their head in shame and embarrassment.”
“Words like mental health and mental illness ignite this stigma… why not use the word emotional health?”
How do you create a culture of kindness in the workplace? In today’s episode, Linda Cohen talks about the power of doing intentional acts of kindness and the ripple effect that can transform your life and your business.
After her father died, Linda started a 1,000-Mitzvah (act of kindness) project in his memory. Five years later, she translated her project into how it affects businesses and organizations and how leaders can bring kindness in the workplace.
In her book, The Economy of Kindness: How Kindness Transforms Your Bottom Line, she talks about how successful organizations are thriving because they make their people feel like they are humans – not just a number, not just doing a job, and not just punching a clock.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Living an intentional life of kindness
- How her 1,000-mitzvah project changed her life
- Intentional acts of kindness
- Kindness in the workplace
- What holds people back from being kind
- The ripple effect of kindness
- The grace of receiving kindness
- Creating a culture of kindness
Episode Highlights:
[06:41] Acts of Loving Kindness
Doing acts of kindness doesn’t have to be pre-planned. It could be whatever idea that comes up on any given day. Pick up garbage on the way to the park or help someone in the grocery store. Open the door for someone, say thank you, or write a quick text or note to someone. These acts of kindness don’t require much of our time. It costs us nothing and it pays us everything. It’s something that you do for another human being just because you took the time to put your phone down and look at another human being.
[09:14] Kindness in the Workplace
Kindness sometimes gets a "bad rap" because people call it a weakness. They think a leader who shows kindness is too vulnerable, too unguarded, and doesn't have the authority needed to run the organization. But the opposite is true.
Especially during the pandemic, people are now talking about hiring for soft skills and training for the hard skills, because you can't necessarily teach an employee to be a kind, giving, caring, empathetic person but you could teach them the hard skills.
[11:50] What Holds People Back from Being Kind
Three things that hold people back from being kind are stress, time, and overwhelm. Research shows that engaging in acts of kindness intentionally reduces feelings of stress and anxiety because you are now "othering" and there's a giver's high that comes from them.
[13:42] Three Lessons About Kindness
3 Lessons about kindness:
- The size of the kindness might not matter.
- There is often an unexpected ripple effect.
- Giving and receiving kindness are different gifts.
Kindness is no longer a "nice to have" soft skill in the workplace. A kinder employee will make a better employee, a better manager and a better leader. Leaders that develop their kindness skills will excel. Organizations that cultivate intentional kindness practices as a core value will have improved employee retention and morale. They will also have an enhanced bottom line!
[19:40] Creating a Culture of Kindness
If you create a culture where people feel valued, respected, and seen, you’re creating a work environment that people want to be in. Consider hiring for soft skills to make sure the people you bring into your organization fit the kind of culture you want to create.
Resources Mentioned:
The Economy of Kindness by Linda Cohen
What differentiates luxury service from ordinary service is that it’s not transactional – it’s relationship-driven. But how do you communicate in a real, authentic manner that grabs on to the hearts and souls of your customers?
With 32 years of experience in hospitality, Bart Berkey, former Ritz-Carlton Global Executive, shares some best practices in exceptional customer experience. Bart is the author of Most People Don't (and Why You Should) where he shares inspiring ideas about exceptional doing, going above and beyond, and sharing kindness.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- How Bart got into the hospitality world
- What led him to write his book
- Customer service – should there be one?
- How to create exceptional experiences for customers
- Best practices in the world of human interaction
- Feeling worthy about giving and receiving
Episode Highlights:
Customer Service - Should There Be One?
Luxury hotels are built on the premise of customer service – not just any transactional customer service, but authentic, exceptional experience. For instance, a lot of sales people representing hotels will talk about square footage or about their 43-inch television screen. But these are only table stakes that poor customer service can trample down easily.
At the end of the day, it’s all about the stories that people tell about your company. As a business, it’s important to cultivate a culture of exceptional customer experience as you’re building and growing your brand. But how do you do that?
Luxury service is all about going above and beyond. Do what most people don’t – and that’s anticipating their unexpected, and often, unpronounced needs. It doesn't need to cost you a lot of money. It’s as simple as getting the door for someone or delighting your customer with the little things like extra towels, free-flowing coffee, or whatever that looks like for your business.
These are things you can do simply by listening and observing. And the key to making that happen is to hire the right people who have that propensity to deliver amazing, exceptional service.
Best Practices in the World of Human Interaction
When interacting with customers, keep your eyes and ears open. Ask questions and understand what their needs are and what problems you can solve for them.
Make customer (and employee) experiences unique and memorable, and also make them fun and interactive.
Be authentic and let your passion fuel your actions.
When having conversations with your employees, you want to see and feel that you're affecting them.
Remember their birthdays, celebrate for no reason, show your gratitude, and recognize the little things they do.
Doing what most people don't is what makes all the difference.
Resources Mentioned:
Matthew Zaremba is a multidisciplinary artist best known for his minimalist illustrations examining the human condition and the intricacies of the head and the heart. Boston-based and internationally recognized, Zaremba is a published visual storyteller whose work spans a myriad of mediums from print to paintings to public murals.
Fashion brand 2006 Bodega has been curating the finest selection of footwear, apparel, and accessories for men and women from over 100 brands.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- The counterculture to internet access
- Grounding yourself by going analog
- Fostering creativity in your kids
- Tapping into the creative realm of kids
- Matthew’s definition of emotional optimism
Episode Highlights:
The Counterculture to Internet Access
While the internet is a bridge for communicating with other people, sometimes, you can also get lost in it. Therefore, it’s important to ground yourself by going analog. It's part of dealing with the human experience – emotions, feelings, and reactions to the world.
For example, if your art is known through the lens of a digital presentation, people are absorbing it with their eyes through a screen. But at the same time, the substance of it is so far from that. Although there are pieces that are reactionary to that, a lot of it actually is social commentary.
Using a typewriter or recording on a tape or a reel where you're connected to a physical conduit makes everything more intentional because you can't just delete it off your feed. There’s a ground effect that allows you to be present.
Tapping into the Creative Realm of Children
As adult artists, they try to find that unbiased, unjaded realm of creativity that only kids can do. For instance, abstract artists get back to the naive state of not being influenced by the outside world. In other words, it’s untethered. It exists. It just is.
On Emotional Optimism
Matthew relates emotional optimism to survival. As bad as it gets, it's most likely going to be a temporary thing. No matter what this is right now, it's got to get better than this. People are getting anxious and it is a huge inconvenience. It is very taxing on all of us for a myriad of reasons, but it has to get better. If you're breathing, things are still moving.
Resources Mentioned:
One of the things I love so much about life is you can learn anything from anyone at any time. Today, I’m sharing with you this 15-minute conversation I had with a media resident out of our West Coast office. He specifically asked me about this quote that you’re a product of the five people you surround yourself with.
As humans and social beings, we want to feel we belong, not just comfortable. We want to feel safe enough to become learners, students, and teachers, and feel safe even when we get things wrong.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Creating a safe place for people to learn and grow
- The 5 people that you surround yourself with
Episode Highlights:
The 5 People You Surround Yourself With
Heard of the quote that you become one of the five people you surround yourself with?
Now, even if we surround ourselves with those people, we do some ebb and flow and morph into one another because of our energies. And for some reason, we're attracted to those people and vice versa.
Whether that’s five people in our squads, or six people or 10 people, or even just two people in our squads, our squads are everything to us because they make our tribe, our people.
Chris Ferreiras, also known as @ItChris on Instagram, is an author and poet, who calls himself observant, but really, he's a sage. Chris is also a teacher, which for him was an inherent calling. Not only a student of the game but a student of life and his craft, Chris constantly finds a way to do that, mostly through writing and just letting the words come to him – and the way he does it is just amazing and soulful.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Who is Chris Ferreiras?
- How he developed his gift of words
- The power of writing
- The role of a Chief Heart Officer
- Listening to the heart and letting it lead your way
- What brings you validation
Episode Highlights:
The Power of Writing
Writing is a useful tool for self-expression that allows you to let go out of urges or whatever is within you. Whether writing words in your journal or sketching, such expression allows for more creativity in your life.
Following Your Heart
As a Chief Heart Officer, you have to speak to your heart, which has a gravity of its own. If you don't listen to your heart, it makes things weird for you – for your body and your interactions. Therefore, seek to do everything in service to your heart. Now, this can be challenging, especially since we are living in a material world, but this only makes the dance of life all the more exciting.
Letting Your Heart Lead the Way
Your heart can lead you to where you need to be. However, this is the type of awareness that’s missing in the dynamics of many people. We do strive for answers because the unknown can be scary, and whatever we have at hand is just a byproduct of discovery. Hence, even when you don't really have the answers, just give yourself the space to be with the “non-answers.”
In Search of True Validation
The number of followers you have on Instagram doesn’t mean enlightenment. What validates you as a human being is that you got up today and you're breathing oxygen. It’s that feeling a sense of sheer gratitude, meditating, and finding joy in everything you do each day.
Resources Mentioned:
IG: @ItChris
Martin Atkins is an English drummer and session musician, best known for his work in post-punk and industrial bands including Public Image Ltd, Killing Joke, and Pigface, which has been around since 1990. Martin is an entrepreneur, educator, and musician who has been in the music business for 40 years now.
In this episode, Martin shares his crazy experiences being in a band, joining an initiative that impacts the community, and writing a book, Band:Smart, which probably holds the World Guinness Record for the number of f#%* in a book.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Martin’s band journey
- Finding empathy inside music despite all the chaos
- The transfer of energy from music to coffee
- Why Martin thinks optimism is “naive stupidity”
Episode Highlights:
Finding Protection From Charisma
In a music world where spit and piss were commonplace back in the 70s, Martin believes there’s this swirling dark side of charisma, which is a powerful magnetic force. He recalls seeing their vocalist, Johnny Rotten, magnetize 10,000 people who protected them at a time when no physical security guards or barriers could protect them.
The Tiny Things
Many people want to be a worldwide superstar, a global person, or number one in whatever field or industry they’re in, and so, the tiny things can seem useless and not worthwhile. But this pandemic has definitely shown us how it’s those little things you do to help other people who are struggling that actually make a huge impact.
Martin’s Thoughts on Optimism
Martin thinks optimism is “naive stupidity” because what really matters at the end of the day is how you’re able to express little acts of kindness to the people around you.
Resources Mentioned:
Here’s a confession: I don’t journal. In fact, I've been afraid to journal and write things down. I know I am an emotionally brave person - I talk through my processes, share with friends, have deep thoughts.....that’s why I’m not quite sure where such resistance comes from.
One thing that actually prevents me from journaling is my handwriting.
Another reason is that I've been afraid to ask myself certain questions because probably I’m not ready to see what might come out on the page.
During my conversation with Marc Champagne back in Episode 54, he left me with three prompts to start this process. Marc recently wrote a book called Personal Socrates where he talked about the power of journaling – and it's really about asking yourself questions.
And so today, I want to hold myself accountable to, at least, try to journal this week. I'm going to give this a shot and I'm going to write it down in a notebook.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
My resistance to journaling and 3 prompts to help you get started with journaling
During my conversation with Marc back in Episode 54, he left me with three prompts to start this process. Marc Champagne recently wrote a book called Personal Socrates where he talked about the power of journaling – and it's really about asking yourself questions.
And so today, I want to hold myself accountable to, at least, try to journal this week. I'm going to give this a shot and I'm going to write it down in a notebook.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- My resistance to journaling
- 3 prompts to help you get started with journaling
Episode Highlights:
3 Prompts to Help You Get Started with Journaling
Don't spend more than 15 minutes. Do it like on a Thursday or Friday morning so you can go into the weekend feeling lighter and freer, and not carrying any baggage around.
What about you? If you’re struggling with journaling, what do you think has kept you from doing it? Or have you been journaling for a while now? I’d be more than happy if you could share some useful strategies!
Resources Mentioned:
Personal Socrates by Marc Champagne
Kindness should never ever be mistaken for weakness. Whether we experience kindness, we deliver acts of kindness, or we witness other people being kind – we all get the same emotional payout. It's called feeling good.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- The science behind kindness
- Why kindness shouldn’t be mistaken for weakness
- Kindness is the glue.
Episode Highlights:
The Science Behind Kindness
Known as the hugging drug or the love drug, oxytocin is a type of hormone that gives us a sense of calm, confidence, and a sense of love. It creates safety and removes fear. This happens either when we are giving kindness, watching someone else be kind, or someone is kind to us.
Kindness is Not a Weakness.
Kindness should never ever, ever be mistaken for weakness. Nor should kindness just appear as a strategy that encompasses your well-being, nor a strategy at work or a sign you often see on the wall. It should be seen through your actions.
Kindness and empathy guide us through failures and springboard us into innovation because they create a sense of true psychological safety. It gives you a sense of belonging and that someone has got your back.
Kindness is the Glue!
Every single organization benefits from fostering kindness actively and proactively. There's a domino effect that happens which is exponential. Whenever a person receives an act of kindness, they are more likely to pay back an act of kindness. And they pay it forward, whether with a stranger and whether it’s as simple as holding the door for someone else.
It leads to an expanded heart which leads to a feeling of generosity as well as a culture of generosity in the workplace. Kindness is the glue, hence, it should never be mistaken for weakness because, in truth, kindness is strength.
Today, Sope Agbelusi gets as real as real gets, helping clients shift their mindsets and become comfortable with risk and uncertainty. Born in Nigeria, Sope moved to the UK when he was a teenager and later realized that he was living a life to please other people and behaving in ways that were not aligned to his true inner self and his true inner character. From then on, he made a decision to not live for others, but to live for himself.
As an executive coach, Sope helps leaders in organizations and startups grow to develop, as well as lead themselves and their organizations really well. He helps clients understand the value of inclusion, equity, and belonging to help create a culture that embodies these values in a practical way.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- People over profit
- Sope’s struggles as an immigrant in the UK
- Asking people how you can help them grow
- The idea of belongingness as you work from home
- Disruption from the lens of authentic leadership
Episode Highlights:
The Value of People Over Profit
In business, our people are your greatest asset. But a lot of times, people haven't been focused on. You see resignation and people just leave their spaces that they are no longer willing to tolerate being treated a particular way. Because now they have more options and opportunities to go to other places and because they've been treated as commodities, rather than being valued.
Organizations need to focus more on their people and look after their mental health. They have to create spaces where people can grow, evolve, and develop so you're going to be the best that profit just naturally follows.
Building a Culture of Trust
When you ask people how you can help them grow, a lot of times, they're taken aback by it. They think you're trying to trap them because they’re not used to it. But when they start to get to know you and you start to share a bit about yourself, they will realize that you're genuinely interested in them as people.
The more you get to know them, the better you'll understand what motivates them, not just inside of work, but also outside of work. Then the more opportunities you're able to create for them. When you approach people that way, the way they're also going to say thank you is to work hard. If you look after your people, you get the profit back.
The Idea of Belongingness When You’re Working From Home
The reason why people are crying out for change is that sometimes they feel unheard and they feel powerless to do anything about it. It's so easy to slip into a space and you start to deceive yourself into thinking you belong.
When you're at home, you can be yourself. You can wear what you want to wear and eat whatever you want to eat. But when you're at work, you're spending so much of your mental energy to fit into the crowd and to get involved with conversations, or to present yourself in a very particular way. All of that drains who you are from a mental aspect, and then it flows into your physical psyche.
Disruption from the Lens of Authentic Leadership
Disruption isn't necessarily a bad thing. First, it creates some fear and some anxiety. That's why you get peer pressure or conformity. But in authentic leadership, you don't get that fear because you're leaning into curiosity. Balancing yourself and balancing others are centered around self-awareness.
Marc Champagne is a mental fitness strategist and host of Behind The Human Podcast. Marc previously worked in medical sales. He loves to connect with another person, especially in sales when it doesn't feel like sales. It's just two people having a conversation and there's no hidden agenda. With all the rejection and the struggle that come with sales, that’s when the idea of mental fitness came up for him.
From medical sales, Marc leaped into the mental wellness space, creating an app, which is a combination of daily reflections and a gratitude journal. Out of that experience came his book, Personal Socrates: Questions That Will Upgrade Your Life from Legends & World-Class Performers – the vehicle has changed but the path and the work remain the same.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- When his mental fitness journey started
- The power of journaling
- The pivotal moment for Marc entering the mental wellness space
- Staying out of your autopilot
- Connecting the unknown to the opportunity
- The experience of deleting his app business and writing his book
Episode Highlights:
The Road to Mental Fitness
When you're able to shift your mindset into gratitude or something positive in your life, you become more aware and awake regardless of whatever situation in life you're in. Instead of complaining about your life, default your day with a morning routine such as journaling.
The Pivotal Moment
If you're working towards a certain goal, you need to have a solid plan and strategy. Be excited for the unknown versus fearing the unknown. Marc’s leap into the mental wellness space wasn't because he couldn't stand driving to work anymore, but more like he would regret not trying it.
Connecting the Unknown to the Opportunity
Do everything now as humanly possible to stay out of the autopilot. If your life has been structured and so planned out and you jump into a new world full of uncertainty, replace fear with excitement. Be excited for the unknown and connect the unknown to opportunity.
The Idea Behind Personal Socrates
The idea was to write a book of profiles that opens up the dialogue around mental fitness from all these different perspectives in different industries and different people. And then have the question be the lead-in to basically meet people wherever they're at in life.
The first step is asking questions about getting clear. Step two includes questions to help us be more intentional with our activities, and habits, thoughts, or how we react. If you do the first two, the third one just happens naturally, which is the expansion of possibility. Ultimately, for you to hold space for others, you have to first hold space for yourself.
Resources Mentioned:
It's important that we're changing the paradigm of what leadership looked like back in the day to where we need to go with leadership today, based on the problems we're trying to solve and the talent we're trying to attract as well as our bottom and top-line growth. Today, David Robinson shares some great insights into leadership as well as some actionable steps we can do to improve as leaders.
David selected the military route as his career choice, which led him to the U.S. Naval Academy but ended up spending 25 years as a fighter pilot in the U.S. Marines. For him, it was the best thing that ever happened because it helped shape and develop him as a leader, something he's really passionate about.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Why David chose the military route and the life lessons he got
- 3 common denominator traits in leaders today
- The marathon mentality vs. the sprint mentality
- Responding in adversity
- 3 questions when debriefing with your team
- Retention strategies and ideas
- The 3 P’s of developing a high-performing mission
- The power of emotional connection to influence others
Episode Highlights:
Things David Learned in the Military
Self-leadership comes first. You have to be able to discipline and lead yourself before you can effectively lead others. With that comes emotional awareness, pressure, and how you respond emotionally to that pressure.
3 Common Denominator Traits in Leaders Today
1. Persistence
The burden of leadership is real. Perseverance and persistence are important components of being able to lead an organization because things don't always go well every day. There are fires to put out and challenges to overcome.
People can be complicated at times, and getting people to work together toward a common goal is quite a challenge. And that takes a level of marathon mentality. Many leaders take a sprint mentality, which can be harmful not only to themselves but also to the people that report to them.
2. Commitment to Self-Improvement
Exceptional leaders have an element of humility where they are committed to self-improvement. They know they have blind spots, and they are looking for other people to help them fill in those blind spots. Acknowledge that we all have growth areas. And the first step is to get into a mentality that there is room for growth. Ask feedback from others and
3. Ability to listen
As a leader, you have to listen first and then speak last. Say, "What do you think we should do?" as opposed to saying, "This is what I want you to do." Because when you listen to your people, they have great ideas most of the time, much better than your ideas. And if you stifle that conversation, expressing your opinion early on can inhibit innovation and finding the best solutions.
Allow your team or two or three sub-teams to go come back to you with some answers on how they would go about accomplishing the task. This opens the aperture and allows them to think innovatively and creatively. It allows them to bring their own experience and expertise as well as ownership to their solutions.
3 questions when debriefing with your team
Resources Mentioned:
The Substance of Leadership: A Practical Framework for Effectively Leading a High-Performing Team
Hannah Brencher joins us today to share inspiration through the power of words. An author, blogger, and a TED Speaker, Hannah initially moved to New York City for what she thought was a dream job yet she found herself struggling with depression. As a way to cope, she started to write love letters and leave them around New York City for others to find and draw inspiration from. Today, she runs a global organization called More Love Letters, which marks its 10 years now, inspired by those first letters to strangers in the lonely city.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- The power of words to either cut people down or build them up
- What productivity means and ways to be inspired
- What it means to be with it all
- How to show up for other people
- The story behind More Love Letters
Episode Highlights:
Utilizing the Power of Words – for the Good
It’s wonderful to make others feel that there are other people in the world that’s cheering for the, and that they can show up and do something for somebody who needs it at that very moment. And with how people use words nowadays to cut others down mercilessly, why not do the opposite of it since words hold power. And we need to use words that build people up.
What Productivity Means and Ways to Get Inspired
Productivity doesn't necessarily refer to what you produce, but how you show up to this moment. Inspiration comes through reading great books and reading great words, as well as through prayer and meditation. But first, you need to figure out how to be present. And sometimes, it takes shutting off your phone to be in the present moment and feel everything around you. It's all about giving yourself the gift of being present.
What It Means to Be With It All
It's about knowing how you're in this dark day but also realizing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And you will get there not not in a toxic way. Not everything is great and it’s hard and it hurts. You’re going to stub your toe a million times because it’s dark. But having that support from people around you, and being able to support one another, you will get out of that darkness. It’s a matter of being a beacon of light for the person next to you. Showing up for other people comes in a lot of forms. You could just sit down with a friend and hold them in your arms. Or bring someone a meal or give them something to do. More importantly, you also need to figure out ways for you to pour into yourself so that you can show up and pour into the people you need to pour into. Self-care is key because you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Resources Mentioned:
In this day and age, so many people are still afraid to seek treatment with regard to their mental health issues. Hence, specialists like our guest today, Dr. Jen Wolkin, work hard in destigmatizing what it means to be abnormal and what mental health versus illness is.
In today's episode, learn more about the segmentation of mental health and mental illness, and what we all can do about it to bring more belonging, mattering, and acceptance into the world.
Dr. Wolkin is dedicated to advocating for people with mental health challenges as well as for the accessibility of treatment. Unfortunately, we're in a society that still stigmatizes and likes to label and put down people. And that's not okay because we're doing a great disservice to not only ourselves but those who are really struggling.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- What got her interested in Psychology
- Changing the language around mental health
- Why she named her class from Abnormal Psych to (Ab)Normal Psych
- The life-changing exercise Dr. Wolkin did to her class
- Using the DSM book just as a guide, not a gospel
- Seeking therapy as an act of bravery
- The power of rewriting your story
Episode Highlights:
Changing the Language Around Mental Health
Dr. Wolkin changed her class at NYU from Abnormal Psych to (Ab)Normal Psych. She wanted to use it as an opportunity to educate people that the mere use of the label "abnormal" is detrimental. She used it to have a dialogue about what normal versus abnormal really means.
Normal is just a percentage under a bell curve and what's abnormal is anything outside a certain percentage, both on the lower end and the upper end. And so, in theory, when people talk about brilliance or Mensa, that's abnormal. Hence, these metrics and the way we use these words like "disorder" or “abnormal” can hurt people. Using slurs like – idiot, retarded, or schizophrenic –are hurtful and we don't really feel its magnitude until we put ourselves in such a position.
It's then important to just conceptualize "abnormal" as something that deviates from what wellness is, impairs your overall functioning, decreases your quality of life, and creates suffering for you. We don’t want to minimize what they’re going through because it’s real and painful. But we can talk about it in such a way that will ultimately take the stigma away.
Seeking Therapy as An Act of Bravery
Recognizing there's something going on, and you may not have the tools for, or you don't know how to decipher is an enormous act of bravery. Unfortunately, a lot of people are still afraid of seeking treatment.
The Power of Rewriting Your Story
We try to tell stories to make sense of ourselves in our worlds. And oftentimes, we tell a story that maybe once helped us survive. But that no longer serves us and just holds us back. And so, try to figure out what story are you telling and how is that holding you back? How is that not serving you? How is that even contributing to anxiety and mood struggles?
Then you have to rewrite your story. This doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes we have to delve deep into why that other story was told and written. At the end of the day, the story we tell ourselves should shapeshift as we evolve and grow.
Today, let's talk about voice. Voice is an expression. It's a form of communication. It's a seed for creation. It's a manifestation of confidence. Voice can also be power – because each one of us has a voice that can change the world.
All of us have unique and very important stories to share. And sharing our stories allows us to connect with others so we can experience joy and free ourselves from any pain or shame we're carrying by keeping our secrets to ourselves.
Now is the time to let our voices be heard and use your voice to create the change you want to create in this world.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- How voices come in different sizes, shapes, and forms
- It takes practice to use your voice and train those muscles.
- Encouraging other people to voice out their messages
Episode Highlights:
How Our Voices Come in Different Forms
Our voices don't all sound alike. All of our differences can create a stronger quilt when we can encourage others to step up, put their courage capes on, and express themselves in any way they wish to. It's not only through speaking that we can voice out our message. It may be through a cello or through a paintbrush, or a guitar.
It Takes Practice
But staying quiet does nothing to build up our confidence, nor does letting others speak for us. It doesn't help us train those muscles. And in order to do that, you need to practice. Sometimes, you may not even know what your voice sounds like or what your voice could possibly do for others.
Pass It Forward
Now, if you have already found your voice, it's just as important to be able to give encouragement to others so they, too, can find their voices and share their message.
Reach out to someone who needs the courage to use their voice today. Whether that’s a quick text message, a short email, a tweet, or a DM, you’ll never know how much the phrase “I got you” could mean to them.
Let's spread kindness Let's spread love. And let's spread the word!
It is time to move into the full expression and the best possible version of you. But you have to be able to find that person and become that person as those shoes are just waiting for you to step in. However, when your head is in a lot of negative self-talk, it doesn't matter if anyone and everyone tells you how amazing you are – unless you consciously change that self-talk and make it a habit.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- What is an imposter syndrome
- How to overcome imposter syndrome
- Making it a habit to find evidence
- Changing your self-talk
Episode Highlights:
What Is The Imposter Syndrome
The imposter syndrome is telling us we're not worthy. We're not good enough. We're a fraud and we're going to get found out. It's super fictitious, but it seems incredibly real in the moment. Now, it's time to outsmart this negative self-talk.
Finding Proof and Evidence
Here's your challenge: Look around and see where there's proof, or evidence that we actually do know what we're doing. Find the proof and evidence that you are good at this or that, and here's the reality of it.
People may come to you time and time and time again because they may want to be mentored by you. Or maybe someone just sent you an email telling you how great of a mentor you are.
Make it a habit to find that evidence. And make sure to catch yourself in that negative web. No one else can do it for us – that negative story that goes on and on. You have to change the story legitimately.
Changing Your Self-Talk
No matter how many Instagram posts you're seeing about how you are so worthy and how you're deserving of so much, and that you are enough. But it all starts within us. So it is time to internalize your successes. It is time to change the story you are telling yourselves. You need to change your self-talk and what your subconscious is picking up on. No one else can do it for you, but only you.
"You’re not a good fit." – what does that even mean? Saying such a phrase is impersonal and it has no humanity in it. In fact, it can be dangerous in the workplace because it’s devoid of emotions. And oftentimes, people are not conscious of it.
When I took the role of CFO, I changed the way we hired from culture fit to skillset fit and culture addition. Culture addition because we want people that come in and add to the wonderful quilt that we've created and bring curiosity and different ways of thinking and different languages. While skill set fit allows us to line people up in the right roles and play to their strengths based on core competencies and what they're great at.
Today, find out why even our language should be aligned with your intentions, actions, visions, passions, and purpose – to make sure you’re able to create a space where people go to feel ignited and where people come to feel loved.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- How “fit” is devoid of emotion
- Following it up with a why
- How you can change the language
Episode Highlights:
Why “Fit” is Devoid of Emotions
The only time you really want to use the word "fit" is when "your shirt fits perfectly" or "These socks fit me perfectly." It's devoid of emotion. And so when you use that word, it creates this real "us versus them."
People who say that don't mean they're being rude or disingenuous or they don't want to build inclusivity. But many of us are just unconscious whenever we use that word.
Putting Intention Behind Creating a Culture
When we're creating cultures of bravery and belonging, we are following up and acting on that. We're putting intention behind that.
People already feel "other" and are dealing with not fitting in – whether racial issues, religious issues, sexuality issues, seen and unseen disability issues, whatever it is – they are already feeling that they don't fit in.
So let's not add to that and find another way to say “this role doesn't align with your skill sets or with your strengths.” Instead, say something like: "We want to put you in another role because we want to set you up for success."
Dr. Jeremy Goldberg is a writer, a speaker, coach, podcast host, and spoken word poet. His mission is to make kindness cool, empathy popular, and compassion commonplace. He believes that kindness and empathy are a life hack that allows people to navigate their lives with the least amount of strife, struggle, pain, and then the most amount of acceptance, love, and belonging.
In this episode, Jeremy talks about how to cultivate emotional bravery and how to create an authentic space for people to come to.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Becoming a man at six years old
- How to create a space for people to come to
- His thoughts on emotional bravery
- The three-step framework to cultivate emotional bravery
- Discovering and exploring what you truly want
Episode Highlights:
Becoming a Man at Six
When Jeremy was six, his parents got divorced. One day, his dad got down on a knee and told him that he was going to be going away for a while and so he needed Jeremy to be the man of the house. And he asked Jeremy to look after his mom and his sister. And so, at age six, Jeremy became a man. He was partly angry about that because he felt his childhood was stolen from him in a sense. But he took on the responsibility nonetheless.
How to Create an Authentic Space for People to Come To
It's hard to make big ideas small, and small ideas felt because life is complex and there are so many intricacies to address. And so, it's hard to communicate easily and to convey your message in a way that's short, snappy, memorable, and fits into the Instagram character count limit, but also tackles important issues fundamental to the architecture of life.
Thoughts on Emotional Bravery
The most vulnerable courageous person is the one that takes their guard down first, or puts their sword down first, and drops the bravado and allows themselves to be seen, felt, and heard. And so, Jeremy thinks of emotional bravery as authenticity or sovereignty. It's about being okay with whatever it is you're feeling. And being brave enough to share that with the world, or with someone, or even with yourself.
The Three-Step Framework to Cultivate Emotional Bravery
The A-team of emotional bravery is awareness, acceptance, and action. Develop an awareness of what you're feeling. Accept that without trying to judge, shame, change, or negate it. And then take action from that place that is most aligned with your integrity, courageousness, and the most loving, generous, best version of yourself.
How much do you love yourself? How much do you like yourself? How much do you accept yourself? These questions are very important to ask yourself. Then know what you want because a lot of people don’t really know what they want. So you have to start from there.
Resources Mentioned:
www..longdistancelovebombs.com
Follow Dr. Jeremy Goldberg on Instagram @longdistancelovebombs
Mental health used to be non-existent some 25 years ago. Now, there's this huge awareness when it comes to taking care of your brain and mental health.
Mark Metry is a coach, author, and speaker. Today, he talks about dealing with social anxiety as well as some tools you can use daily to improve your mental health. His book, Screw Being Shy: Learn How to Manage Social Anxiety and Be Yourself in Front of Anyone.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Dealing with social anxiety
- Being an introvert vs. social anxiety
- How mental health is the same as your physical health
- Social anxiety in the guise of shyness
- Everyday tools you can carry in your pocket
- The benefits of meditation
Episode Highlights:
Being an Introvert vs. Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a result of placing different limitations on your life and then seeing years go by, you realize you were never really able to be yourself. And that inner judgment that is just built-in for a lot of people.
An introvert's brain is just the way it's made. It has an inclination to think more internally. You're more introspective. And then in turn, the way you perceive the world, and how you act in the world is a little different.
An average person may experience moments of being socially anxious. Oftentimes, it starts when you're around 9 to 11 years old and a lot of people are not conscious of this. And it's a moment where your brain basically breaks. Maybe it's because of an experience that triggers them and traumatizes them to a point where the hardware in their brain is just damaged.
Ultimately, when you're an introvert, your brain is operating more inwardly whereas social anxiety has the potential to really mess up with your brain.
The Parallels Between Physical Health and Mental Health
For instance, if you break your leg, you're going to feel a lot of pain and so you go to the doctor. They're going to give you crutches, and then you come back in a month for a different cast. Then after three months, you're out.
A lot of times, this is the same with mental health. There's a part of your brain that is seriously suffering as a wider result of different issues. And so, you have to do the same thing – put yourself in a crutch and a cast. And imagine that happening to a 9, 10, or 11-year-old. Social anxiety leads to a host of other issues such as weight gain, social isolation, and depression – and for some, it could even be suicidal.
Tools for Better Mental Health
Meditation has been done for thousands of years and it has been backed by science. It shows you first-hand that you've got voices in your head. Your brain is feeding you information. And when the brain does that, you never question what you think because you think that's you. But when you start meditating, you then begin to differentiate yourself from that thought. Meditation builds that muscle that helps you slow downtime and is able to make a decision. On top of that, make sure your brain is healthy. Another thing you could do is to talk about your experience. Understand neuroscience and how your brain operates. And when you understand that there's this biological experience occurring because of social anxiety, it could completely change your perspective on life.
Resources Mentioned:
Screw Being Shy: Learn How to Manage Social Anxiety and Be Yourself in Front of Anyone
Bart Scholtissen, Lars Schmidt, and Dalia Feldheim share their thoughts on emotional optimism.
Bart Scholtissen
Based in the Netherlands, Bart is the Founder of Back To Your Nature Coaching and is a Wim Hof Method Academy instructor.
With a background in neuroscience, he earned his PhD degree in Neuropsychology. Feeling burned out in the field of science, he felt he needed to reinvent himself and get back to his core. But it was also through science that he got into the Wim Hof method. Through his coaching strategy, he helps people who don’t know how to deal with the changes in their lives to reconnect to their own nature.
***
Lars Schmidt is the Founder of Amplify, an HR executive search and consulting firm that helps companies build progressive people teams and capabilities. He's spent over 20 years in the industry working in and alongside a range of leading global companies.
In 2015, Lars co-founded a not-for-profit aimed at democratizing access to modern HR practices - HR Open Source, a free global community of practitioners who collaborate and share learnings to prepare themselves, and their organizations, for the future of work.
Part of his foundation is being centered on the employee experience and the impact to employees. This is the lens through which he sees decision-making in HR is done.
***
Dalia Feldheim is an ex-CMO (Chief Marketing Officer) in the corporate world who now calls herself Chief Magnificent Officer. She's an organizational psychologist and an adjunct professor. Upon completing her army service as a platoon commander (a crash course in leadership in and of itself), Dalia studied Psychology and Business and landed her first job at P&G, the world’s largest consumer goods company, and thrived there for 17 years. Dalia’s passion for teaching and coaching has led her to find her purpose deeply rooted in women empowerment leading some of the world’s most iconic advertising campaigns such as the award-winning Always #LikeAGirl and Whisper’s "Touch The Pickle”.
Episode Highlights:
Join Claude Silver as she and her guests shared their thoughts on emotional optimism.
Listen to the full episode Here:
E40 : Getting Out of Our Boxes and Getting Into Nature with Bart Scholtissen
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e40-getting-out-our-boxes-getting-into-nature-bart/id1441782924?i=1000521299541
E44: Skateboarding is to Open Source as Redefining HR is to People with Lars Schmidt
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e44-skateboarding-is-to-open-source-as-redefining-hr/id1441782924?i=1000525785066
E43: Dare To Lead Like A Girl with Dalia Feldheim
Blankets of Hope Founders Mike and Nick Fio deliver blankets to homeless people during the winter and so much more! Inspired by their mission is to bring kindness to the entire world by 2025, what started out as a simple project has now become much bigger than themselves as they’re now teaching the future generation to think with a mindset of kindness and compassion, and giving back to their community through experiential learning. Fast forward to today, five years later, Blankets of Hope partner with schools in over 40 states across the U.S. and have delivered over 40,000 blankets of hope.
Episode Highlights:
Join Claude Silver as she and the Founders of Blankets of Hope, Mike & Nick shared their thoughts on emotional optimism, on a deeper level.
Resources Mentioned:
Listen to the full episode Here:
Mike McHargue is a Purveyor of empathic skepticism and a science expert. He has a podcast called The Cozy Robot Show. He has worked with companies like Marvel, Apple, and the New York Times. Today, we cover all kinds of territory from the science of empathy to the psychobiology of mythology and emotional optimism.
Episode Highlights:
Join Claude Silver as she and Mike have a deep connection around his thoughts on emotional optimism.
Resources Mentioned:
Listen to the full episode here:
Lars Schmidt is the Founder of Amplify, an HR executive search and consulting firm that helps companies build progressive people teams and capabilities. He's spent over 20 years in the industry working in and alongside a range of leading global companies.
In 2015, Lars co-founded a not-for-profit aimed at democratizing access to modern HR practices - HR Open Source, a free global community of practitioners who collaborate and share learnings to prepare themselves, and their organizations, for the future of work.
Part of his foundation is being centered on the employee experience and the impact on employees. This is the lens through which he sees decision-making in HR is done.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Lars’ career background in recruiting
- How his mentor has paved his way to success
- What planted the seeds towards his embrace of open source
- Dealing with imposter syndrome
- Understanding the culture of skateboarding
- Skateboarding is an individualistic sport within a collaborative community
- The biggest challenges in HR today
- His thoughts on emotional optimism
Episode Highlights:
Dealing with Imposter Syndrome
People look at imposter syndrome as being lacking confidence. But you can be supremely confident in your ability, and still feel imposter syndrome at the same time. You just have to believe in yourself even though you're questioning your competence. And the lack of fear of failure is the antidote to imposter syndrome.
You're going to take some risks, and you know you're going to do some things that are not going to work out. But you also know you will learn from that. And you're not going to beat yourself up by that. Just chalk it up as a lesson and incorporate your learnings the next time you try something similar. You're going to fail a lot before you get it right.
The Culture of Skateboarding Analogy
In the culture of skateboarding, unless you're in an actual contest, but for the most part, you're competing with yourself. It's more of individual individualistic support, but everybody is supportive of everybody else. Everybody rallies around everybody else. Nobody wants to be proprietary about their tricks and approaches. They want to help each other up because you elevate everybody together. Translating this into the field of HR is why Lars got so passionate about open source projects.
The Biggest Challenges in HR Today
Most HR leaders are burned out at this moment in time but they're massively in demand because companies are realizing the value of HR now. As an HR leader, you have to understand the financials of the business and understand the market positioning strategic roadmap. You have to design a custom people strategy that moves all of those things forward. You're overseeing and supporting the most volatile asset that the business has, which is their people. And people have been through a lot in the past year. And so, this puts HR leaders in an incredibly difficult position.
On Emotional Optimism
Optimism is a choice although, for some people, it comes very naturally. And for other people, they have to work to be a bit more of an optimist. In emotional optimism, your default is assuming good intent. It's a belief in the good in people. It's a belief in humanity and human nature. And you trust that positivity is going to be more of a default for people than mistrust or that they're here to do harm to you.
Dalia Feldheim is an ex-CMO (Chief Marketing Officer) in the corporate world who now calls herself Chief Magnificent Officer. She's an organizational psychologist and an adjunct professor. Upon completing her army service as a platoon commander (a crash course in leadership in and of itself), Dalia studied Psychology and Business and landed her first job at P&G, the world’s largest consumer goods company, and thrived there for 17 years. Dalia’s passion for teaching and coaching has led her to find her purpose deeply rooted in women empowerment leading some of the world’s most iconic advertising campaigns such as the award-winning Always #LikeAGirl and Whisper’s "Touch The Pickle”.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Her career background and her passion for coaching
- Seeing the value of women empowerment
- Focus on purpose and the golden link
- Purpose-led brand-building
- How the famous campaigns came to be and the inspiration behind them
- The value of empathy in business ad the workplace
- When zero-tolerance works
- How Dalia defines emotional optimism
Episode Highlights:
Purpose-led Brand-building
It's not a choice between purpose and profit. Companies that invest on purpose outperform the market 12 times. Find your own purpose, what really lights you up, and find a way. Link your personal purpose to the company purpose and make sure you bring it to life every day. And when you’re able to connect your own purpose with the brand’s purpose, you have one plus one equals three.
The Value of Empathy In Business and The Workplace
Empathy is about making your employees feel good and all these soft factors. Take care of your people and the business takes care of itself. Empathy is immensely important for employee engagement and passion. People perform at their peak when they are nourished and when they are cared for. Empathy is a muscle you can train even if you don't have it.
Empathy is critical for innovation as well because how can you innovate if you don't understand and if you don't listen between the lines to the unmet needs of your consumers? Therefore, it’s important to hear from consumers and how you can make their lives better. And being able to leave your thumbprint or heart-print on another person is an incredible gift you have every day.
When Zero Tolerance Works
You can't change someone that doesn't want to change and there are cases where empathy is not the right strategy. One in two employees experienced some element of abuse of the workplace, either directly or even seeing it impacts them. When you find yourself in an environment that’s really toxic, the only strategy that works is zero tolerance.
On Emotional Optimism
Emotional optimism is about emotional bravery, which is about accepting all emotions even those that are negative. And it's when you reject them that you become sick. Emotional optimism is even when you're sad. So stay with it and let it flow through you so that you can ultimately make room for the positive emotions. We are in the midst of a major mental health crisis and it doesn't have to be that way.
Robert Barber is the author of CEO for Life: Gain Full Control of Your Life and Your Business Forever. He realized he had to walk the walk of the CEO in his everyday life and take responsibility for everything. He had to become the CEO of his life, for life. And today, he shares his journey. He talks about where he gets his optimism from and his fuel.
Robert is the founder and lead coach of Return On You Investment Academy, a learning academy around the concept of investing in yourself, creating a culture, and having a company around that culture.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- What is the CEO for life?
- Your job description as a CEO
- His mom as the most powerful influence in his entire life
- The best relationship you can have
- How to create a culture of trust in a remote environment
- Leading with your heart
- Robert’s thoughts on emotional optimism
Episode Highlights:
Becoming a CEO for Life
Start seeing yourself as a CEO of your life. You may not have a huge company with thousands of people working for you. But you do have an impact on people. You impact your family, your colleagues, your clients, etc. So start acting like a CEO, and a CEO for life! We've all been forced into a situation that we didn't plan for, but we still can be the CEO for our life. We still can be accountable, make the decisions we need, and take care of the people around us.
The Best Relationship You Can Have
The best relationship you can have is somebody who doesn't need you but needs you. Your partner doesn't need you but they need you to be their partner because you both have equal footing. Translating this into the workplace setting, treating each other as equal creates so much more empathy within the workplace.
How to Create a Culture of Trust in a Remote Environment
You can still hold space for someone on screen and show up. You can still create safety together. That could be in the form of eye contact, validating someone, or listening. These are skills you would do whether in-person or not. But in order to reach across a screen and make people feel seen and safe, you have to show up with more emotional courage. Make sure you're using the word "trust" more. It's just another word for having your back and that you're in this together.
Leading with Your Heart
You can love people without having to like their behavior. This means that whatever you do, you can always come from a place of love. If you start there as a person, the rest of it is going to work itself out. If you lead with love, and you may have an adverse agreement, then love is still going to win. Even though you disagree or you may not like each other, love will always win.
The individual has the ability to have an impact that will ripple forever if we just care for each other. And even if you believe in nothing, if at least you went through the intellectual process of discovery, and trying to figure out what you believe in, that's awesome.
On Emotional Optimism
Not much grows on the mountaintop while everything that grows is in the valley. And so, the valley is where our growth happens. Now, we are going to have valleys and mountain tops, and knowing that life is going to go through that is an optimistic way to look at life. It may suck right now but there's growth happening.
Blankets of Hope Founders Mike and Nick Fio deliver blankets to homeless people during the winter and so much more! Inspired by their mission is to bring kindness to the entire world by 2025, what started out as a simple project has now become much bigger than themselves as they’re now teaching the future generation to think with a mindset of kindness and compassion, and giving back to their community through experiential learning. Fast forward to today, five years later, Blankets of Hope partner with schools in over 40 states across the U.S. and have delivered over 40,000 blankets of hope.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- How they got into creating the Blankets of Hope
- Getting support from a venture capitalist
- Their real mission behind this simple project
- How you can get involved in this project
- The kindness workshop: How the experiential learning works
Episode Highlights:
The Beginnings
In 2016, they both quit their jobs in the hope of getting out of the corporate hamster wheel. For the next six months, they jumped from one project to the next until they went broke. Inspired by the idea of wanting to help a homeless guy on the subway, Nick went to GoFundMe and started writing about how he wanted to raise money to give blankets to people outside the world. Soon after, they got picked by a Californian venture capitalist.
Although they grew up in a household full of Italian-Americans constantly yelling, there was an undercurrent of unconditional love they've always received. And so, they've always felt this pull to share that love with others because they felt so blessed to have it. And seeing how Italians value the concept of family. For the next six months, they jumped from one project to the next until they went broke. Then they started dreaming bigger about the impact they can make with this simple project.
The Mission
There is a much deeper purpose than blankets being donated to people experiencing homelessness. It's to inspire a movement of kindness and how we treat each other. People living out on the streets or in shelters need human kindness more than anyone else. The real value is in going into classrooms and teaching these students how to impact someone's life in their local community.
How the School Partnership Works
If you are an educator or know of an educator, or even if you are a youth leader of some sort, you can go to Blankets of Hope and schedule a time to meet with Nick. And he'll walk you through three simple steps.
The first step is funding for them to be able to send you blankets. You can either donate a lump sum for those blankets which will be shipped to you or launch a fundraiser to raise that money, where they'll help you set it up.
The Kindness Workshop: How the Experiential Learning Works
Kids go through a guided visualization of empathy exercise. Then they would write their handwritten letters of encouragement and attach them to their blankets. Next, they’re guided through a loving-kindness meditation where they send love to themselves, to the person receiving the blankets, or their classmates. This creates an energy of love in the classroom that hopefully ripples on so they would also pass this experience. And then the teacher collects them and delivers them to a local homeless shelter. The whole workshop is done virtually.
We’re living in challenging times. But we need to go through those in order to create the new world that we want to see. It's necessary for us to transform into a new level of living –and one of the ways to achieve that level of personal development is going back to your core and going back to nature.
Today’s guest is Bart Scholtissen. Based in the Netherlands, Bart is the Founder of Back To Your Nature Coaching and is a Wim Hof Method Academy instructor.
With a background in neuroscience, he earned his Ph.D. degree in Neuropsychology. Feeling burned out in the field of science, he felt he needed to reinvent himself and get back to his core. But it was also through science that he got into the Wim Hof Method. Through his coaching strategy, he helps people who don’t know how to deal with the changes in their lives to reconnect to their own nature.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- His journey into becoming a Wim Hof Method Academy instructor
- How the Wim Hof method allows you to go out of your own limiting beliefs
- How travel gets you out of your comfort zone
- Why go back to nature
- Recognizing the dark to experience the light
- Why balance isn't a flatline
Episode Highlights:
Going Out of Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
Through the Wim Hof Method and Bart’s nature coaching, one is forced to look inwards in order for transformation to occur. Being in a survival mode in nature brings you to your stress and fight mode. And in the process, you learn to embrace it and get out of your limiting beliefs. You stop fighting – and you start living.
How Travel Takes You Out of Your Comfort Zone
People have created this comfort zone of what life should look like. But when you travel, you go to other places. You get to experience and embrace different cultures, as well as letting yourself be embraced by these cultures so it keeps you enlightened and connected.
Why Go Back to Nature
Nature is more uncut and less domesticated. We have been domesticated as a Western society that we have been spoiled. And that's not good for our system. And so, going back to nature realigns you and helps you get back in touch with your superhuman powers.
On Emotional Optimism
Only by knowing the dark side, can one appreciate the light. If everything would be light, it would be boring. We need to hit our head sometimes and get hurt to feel alive. We need to actively seek discomfort to become more comfortable within the uncomfortable.
People are afraid of dying. And by being afraid of dying, people unconsciously decide not to live. They're only paying attention to the negative stuff that is there. But even in these challenging times that we're living in now, there is so much positivity going on. You just need to open up not your eyes, but your heart a bit more.
Why Balance Isn’t a Flatline
Sometimes people think that balance is a flatline. That's not life. Life is ups and downs and embracing the ups and the downs – embracing the journey.
Highs only exist by the grace of the lows. If the lows aren't there, the highs aren't there. This is life. Life is cyclical. It's a phase, everything is passing and everything is renewing again.
And so, we better make it an enjoyable, comfortable, crazy ride. We're not here just to be innocent bystanders, leaning backward, and letting opportunities pass. Instead, you’re here to make a lasting impression. Show your gifts and lead life in a different way. Don’t just wait for things to happen. But go for it and live it!
Mike McHargue is a science expert. He has a podcast called The Cozy Robot Show. He has worked with companies like Marvel, Apple, and the New York Times. Today, we cover all kinds of territory from the science of empathy to the psychobiology of mythology and emotional optimism.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- Understanding the psychobiology of mythology
- How a given spiritual belief system impacts the culture of a society
- Having a sense of intellectual humility
- What is empathy?
- What is empathetic skepticism?
- Empathy comes from the deep brain, not the right brain
- Mike’s thoughts on emotional optimism
Episode Highlights:
Understanding The Psychobiology of Mythology
Psychology and biology as two interconnected things that are not divisible. In other words, you can't conceptualize the brain without the mind. The psychological groundings in human behavior don't make sense unless you look at the brain. The notion is that our thoughts and feelings come from our bodies, but our bodies also shape our thoughts and feelings – forming an interconnected system.
Having a Sense of Intellectual Humility
We seem to be excited to learn from each other. It is easier to see all of the worlds when we share and receive the perspectives of others as well as the tools they've used to understand reality. And when we have that kind of sense of intellectual humility, it opens up an opportunity for us to grow.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to be in touch and aware of our own emotions, and to be aware that other people have their own emotions as well. In some way, our feelings are shaped by our experience with another person. And we're aware that each person has their own emotional life.
Unfortunately, there's a massive collapse in the awareness and practice of empathy in people's lives. Empathy alone can actually lead to some dangerous places. Because if our empathy would cause us to dismiss or ignore the harm of what a serial killer did to the victims, for instance, then that empathy is incomplete, which introduces a real potential for cognitive dissonance in our lives.
What is Empathetic Skepticism?
Empathy is absent in a lot of skeptical people who think critically and who are aware of the conflicting value systems in our world as well as some of the harm that happens in our society. They think so critically that they tend to forget that human emotion is the primary motivator for human action.
Therefore, it's important to be able to combine being in touch with our emotional, intuitive core, and having our thoughts and feelings work as peers, instead of having our thoughts stand superior over our feelings.
That way, when we're faced with real, polarizing issues in our society, we can lean into empathy to act as a bridge, where we make people safe and at the same time, and at the same time, have an informed discussion so we can come up with pragmatic solutions that will further expand our empathy.
The Deep Brain
Empathy doesn't come from the right brain, but from the deep brain, composed of our brain stem and our limbic system. Those are the older parts of the brain trusted to solve our problems. But most of the problems in our society today come from too little awareness of deep brain activity, hence, too little connection with our feelings.
Shasheen is a high performance coach and author. His upcoming book is called The Kid and The King. He navigates business outcomes and brings personal change to people. Shasheen has been a trusted adviser to an incredible group of high achievers on everything from business and strategy to personal relationships, communication, and leadership.
Being the only Indian kid in an all-Jewish community, Shasheen didn't feel he belonged. But this set him off on this journey of trying to figure out how to navigate this world effectively. And along the way, he found his interest in business, in people, and strategy.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- What blocks people from being good to great
- The role of our past, childhood experiences in becoming who we are today
- Understanding and mastering self-awareness
- About his book, The Kid and The King
- 3 hard questions to ask yourself
- Embracing the duality of the kid and the king in you
- How to re-engage and reignite your life
Episode Highlights:
What Blocks People From Being Good to Great
It's all about emotional survivability. There are a lot of studies about the biology of the brain and how we go into this fight, flight or freeze mechanism. As humans, we're just trying to emotionally survive everything. We're trying to look good and gain admiration. We make sure we use the right words or say it the right way. That voice inside our head is just incessant.
Now, people deal with that part of the human experience in a variety of different ways. Some people can navigate it really well. They have it under control and they will go out and accomplish things. And others haven't yet developed the skill sets needed to navigate it.
This adversarial relationship we have with that part of ourselves is responsible for a lot of the reasons that we end up pulling back. We fight, flee, or freeze and we don't take a risk because we want to keep it together.
The Role of Our Past
We underestimate the extent to how our childhood is affecting us in our modern day world. And so, we need to understand how we got to be the way we are today. There's also the complexity of recognizing the depths of those emotional wounds. And part of the work is recognizing those patterns. Be familiar with the conditions, situations, the tonalities, the language, the environment, and your body, whether you're hungry or tired, whatever it might be, and the conditions under which that part of you is going to show up.
Understanding and Mastering Self-Awareness
People want a quick fix. But instead of evading and avoiding things to numb the pain away, try to flip the conversation. Know your triggers and know that what's coming is an opportunity for those to get resolved once again. Those voices will never go away. But what it comes down to is developing a new relationship with that side of yourself.
The idea is to come to understand how you got to where you were. What are the components? What are the stories? What is the wiring of your survival instincts? Then how do you look forward and create from a place of not the past, but from where you want to go?
3 hard questions to ask yourself:
- What do you want?
- Why do you want it?
- What are you willing to do to get it?
The Duality of the Kid and the King in You
Allowing both to coexist is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. There's a relationship between your younger self and your big self. And it comes out with the people that we have the greatest vested interest in – with our loved ones, our family, our intimate partners, or even our co-workers.
***
Joel Leon is a TED talk giver-creative-copywriter-rapper-father-and-the-list-goes-on – a perfect example that as humans, we’re all multi-hyphenated – capable of doing multiple things being the multi-heightened beings that we are.
Today, Joel gives us some enlightening insights into how we can hold space for ourselves and for other people every day, as well as how we can bring awareness to diversity through empathy and compassion.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
- The grind of agency life
- Bringing your heart to work and holding space
- The goal of meditation and how to find inspiration through exploration
- How we’re all multi-hyphenates
- Understanding the cultural nuance and intersectionality of people
Episode Highlights:
Holding Space for Yourself and Others
Bring your heart wherever you are because it’s important to hold space for yourself. While we strive to be the best versions of ourselves each day, we also need to recognize we're going to fall short of that, on some days. And so we have to create space for that as well.
You then feel more inclined to lean into the heart spaces of others more because you see people are doing the same. And even if you're not necessarily looking at the results, you're looking at the energy the person brings into the spaces. This then creates room for that conversation to happen and instances that wouldn’t normally have otherwise.
How to Find Inspiration Through Exploration
It's okay to treat the things that we consider to be mundane or “the every day things” as part of our exploration. Every single moment is an opportunity to be inspired. Our brains are tracking everything – whether it be conversations or interactions. Creativity gets to show up in different ways and as you become aware, you become inspired and you open to the things in the spaces and the people you’re engaging with.
Humans are Multi-Hyphenates
Humans are multifaceted beings. We're multi-hyphenated because we all do more than one thing. We also have a level of creativity alongside the other roles and responsibilities we have as humans. You could be a photographer-copywriter-designer and that list could go on. We’re built to do more than one thing and be good at more than one thing. After all, we’re all multi-heightened beings.
Understanding The Cultural Nuance and Intersectionality of People
The way a person greets you in Japan is different than the way a person greets you from the Bronx. You may have clients who may have come from other countries whose way of saying yes or no is how they position their bodies.
The way we read people is different. So we have to understand. We can’t be too presumptuous or make decisions or judgments about people without recognizing the cultural nuance of those situations.
Distinguishing Empathy and Compassion
Empathy lays the foundation for compassion. Compassion is the action, empathy is the feeling. And compassion is that empathy being put into action. The distinction is paramount.
And so, a person is not only able to feel what you feel, but feel what you feel in a way that creates space to do something about it – whether by lending a helping hand or using your voice as an ally.
Resources Mentioned:
https://www.ted.com/speakers/joel_leon
https://www.instagram.com/iamjoelleon
https://twitter.com/joelakamag?lang=en
In this episode, Claude sits down with Shasheen Shah and covers inspired work, getting in our own way, and the importance of John Nash in the film " A Beautiful Mind."
For more than 20 years, Shasheen has delivered breakthrough results to successful leaders around the world, navigating business outcomes and the personal challenges that go hand in hand with the journey.
High-achieving professionals from Tesla, Hewlett Packer, IBM, Sotheby’s and Martha Stewart crafts are but a few who have benefited from.
Shasheen’s life-altering coaching skills. His razor-sharp intuition, combined with his unique ability to tactfully navigate and address life’s most confronting conversations separates him from the rest, allowing him to cut through the barriers that stand in the way of the people with whom he works
Understanding the work and world of Shasheen is to understand who he is from the inside out. Readers, clients and friends will benefit from the values that serve as his “operating system.” They include:
* Living in and contributing to a kind and compassionate world.
* Cultivating the art of listening
* Teaching people how to put down their arms – pointed at themselves! Stop trying to fix what isn’t broken.
* Learn and practice acceptance.
* Mentoring young people, entrepreneurs and our next generation of leaders.
* Share the lifelong commitment to our inner life as a practice not just a quick-fix, short-sighted theory.
* Serving the greater good (not just ourselves).
* Living the life we imagine – starting now!
Find him here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shasheen/
Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver
Joel Leon is a performer, author and storyteller, born and raised in the Bronx, who writes and tells stories for Black people. He's been featured in the Columbia Journal, BBC News, Sirius XM, Forbes, Insider, Medium, Philadelphia Printworks, Blavity and the Huffington Post. He has spoken and performed at the Apollo Theater, Joe's Pub, Rockwood Music Hall, Columbia University, NYU and Webster Hall. He lives in the Bronx and is the father to Lilah and West.
In this episode, Claude and Joel cover topics such as bringing your heart to work, how creativity isn't limited to a title, and the value of understanding cultural nuance.
Find him here:
Twitter: @JoelakaMaG
Medium: https://iamjoelleon.medium.com
https://www.ted.com/talks/joel_leon_the_beautiful_hard_work_of_co_parenting#t-551994
Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver
Voted to Forbes' 30 Under 30, Inc 30 Under 30, & Adweek Creative 100 lists - John Henry is a Dominican-American entrepreneur, investor, TV show host, real estate developer, vlogger, and podcast host. You can find him at:
Instagram: @johnhenrystyle
Twitter: @johnhenrystyle
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/johnhenrystyle
In this episode, Claude asks John about his journey from humble beginnings as a New York City doorman to becoming a Co-CEO of a fast-growing startup. Together they discuss growth and bringing your whole self to work.
Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Officer at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 900+ people, infusing the company with empathy, kind candor and strength! You can find her here: https://www.claudesilver.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/ https://twitter.com/claudesilver https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver https://medium.com/@claudesilver
I had the incredible pleasure of interviewing Mark Crowley for my first ever vlog on The Silver Lining Podcast. Mark began speaking about a radical way to lead a handful of years back - his "radical" approach was called "Lead from the Heart" and he captured my attention immediately as he was speaking my language! I was nodding my head pretty much our entire conversation, as Mark shared where his empathy and incredible passion for the reinvention of traditional leadership thinking comes from.
When it comes to employee engagement that moves people to do extraordinary work, Mark C. Crowley is an innovative, tested, and celebrated leader. We sit down together, and Mark tells the story of his life, his success in business, and the moments that lead him to his ground-breaking book "Lead From The Heart: Transformational Leadership For The 21st Century."
Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Office at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 800 people, infusing the company with empathy.
You can find her here:
https://www.claudesilver.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/
https://twitter.com/claudesilver
https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver
https://medium.com/@claudesilver
Leadership is about Love. Full Stop. Let’s work together to create cultures where people actually want to go to work on Monday morning. Let’s Go! Let’s bring more humanity and reality into our workplaces ❤️
Claude Silver is the Chief Heart Office at VaynerMedia, where she serves over 800 people, infusing the company with empathy.
You can find her here:
https://www.claudesilver.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/casilver/
https://twitter.com/claudesilver
https://www.instagram.com/claudesilver
https://medium.com/@claudesilver
Uniqueness in the workplace creates belonging and contributes to the growth of the company.
