Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Dracularmy (X-Men Unlimited #21) In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters - some of us just smell better than others. X-PLAINED: Strong Guy’s hellacious history The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited X-Men Unlimited #20-21 Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson) What Asgard was up to in 1998 Magik vs magic The Snow Valley Harvest Festival Jubilation Lee, one of the guys Eagles vs Hats Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o Tic Tac Toe fundamentals Angry mobs Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom The many potential applications of Husk’s powers Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV Payphones & video rental stores X-friends Rutland, VT (again) Melvin J. Weals Helen Back The Donnybrook Country Club Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier Steel (the Shaq one) The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic Earth: the Hipster Planet Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties Fan-casting X-voices NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125) In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s. X-PLAINED: Captain Britain varieties The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged Excalibur #124-125 Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake The Crazy Gang (again) Meggan’s crush on Colossus Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus A surprise bridal shower The return of Captain UK Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair Glorious, glorious chaos Poor, poor Feron Multiple awkward conversations The return of Widget and also everyone else Lightning Force (dammit) A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain So many cameos ...Seriously, so many cameos Dai Thomas’s anti-iron Shockingly healthy communication Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage A bittersweet ending Nightcrawler’s best outfit The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we have grown to love Adam Pollina; the Vanisher is delightfully awful; Ekaterina Gryaznova gets a new look; Domino rejoins X-Force; superheroes actually have a conversation instead of fighting; Cannonball rejoins X-Force; we don’t even remember recording this one; and something cool is coming (stay tuned).

In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

In which moose are nothing to mess with; Cyclops requests a reality check; Bachalo does Kirby; Rogue absorbs a catchphrase; and the Shadow King needs a villain song.

In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.

In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man. X-PLAINED: Ghosts Excalibur #121-123 The Mutant Underground Empathic recon An extremely disgruntled kiss Kitty’s new costume Several of Legion’s personalities A mysterious disk A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker Ice cream of Cloud City A good dog Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance The devolution of Douglock Mimic (Calvin Rankin) Mimic’s facial hair Some Prime Sentinels Wedding planning Liking parts of things Villains who want to marry Storm Maddy Pryor NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which the X-Men’s membership is a complicated subject; not all angels know each other; we need to talk about Beast’s Wasp costume; Cecilia Reyes speaks for all reasonable folk; Storm gets a mysterious package; and reading comics day-and-date may not be for everyone.

In which one letter can make a big difference; it’s just not Arcade without giant pinballs; Colossus is nobody’s fool; Margali Szardos is not a relative you want to stay in touch with; Nightcrawler turns to the jerk side; and Jay and Miles pitch an X-Men kids’ show.

In which Jay sits down with scholar Christopher Michael Roman to discuss his recent book, Queering Wolverine in Comics and Fanfiction: A Fastball Special; alongside queer theory, porous bodies, and nontraditional mentorship.

Run, Penance! The retcons are coming for you! (Generation X #40) In which the St. Croix family is constructed largely of retcons; Generation X adjusts surprisingly quickly to a massive status quo shift; Psi-War is coming soon to a podcast near you; Snow White - I mean, Bianca LaNeige - has an intriguing but exceptionally minimal backstory; and if you die in this podcast episode, you die in real life. X-PLAINED: Hellfire Club history Generation X #40-43 MillXnials Mercy General Hospital vs Our Mother of Mercy Hospital Ambiguous psionic overlap Nicole & Claudette & Monet & Marius St. Croix The Downtown Stomp Synch, agreeable and bland (for now) Vincent Adultman The nature of Penance A glacial but effective pace Bianca LaNeige, evil Snow White from space Warpy, Stinky, Spiky, Windy, Greasy, Brainy, and Blurry The Enchanted Forest of Oregon Claremont:Body Swaps::Hama:Getting Stuck In Other Dimensions Jay vs. Accents Terminal Dream Syndrome A surprisingly gruesome fill-in An underrated era for Emma Frost Betty & Veronica, presenting like mandrills Zak the Neutrino Albert & Elsie-Dee (briefly) The Dodsons vs Mike Allred Dr. Bronner’s uncredited Marvel career Our coverage of Ultimate X-Men (or lack thereof) Dr. Phil Zimbardo’s xplainthexmen study NEXT EPISODE: Queering Wolverine with Dr. Christopher Michael Roman! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men, Episode 418 - Reignfirefighters: In which S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are scarier in suits; Reignfire is the new Erik the Red; “background assets” would be a very funny euphemism; it’s always either time travel or clones; and you should probably not get a corporate logo tattooed on the side of your head.

In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.

In which Gambit does Stardust; Wilbur Weston holds no one’s redemption; Gambit is unequivocally bisexual; Lucifer is kinda goofy; and we still don’t know what’s in the box.

In which Wild Child makes an unlikely Santa Claus; Sabretooth champions continuity; Random’s last name should’a been Violence; Forge doesn’t have to like you; and Mackie’s X-Factor run gets interesting—right before its untimely end.

In which X-Force goes to Exploding Colossal Man; Douglas Wolk may or may not have superpowers; Karma gets girlfriends; we are already tired of Reignfire; Meltdown and Sunspot initiate a love triangle; and Jay is writing some more X-Men.

In which Kelly and Seagle's X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm's past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes's job doesn't deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal. X-PLAINED: The Grey family reunion X-Men #71-72 What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference Baggage and also suitcases Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans Bone whiskers Telemarketer power moves Cecilia Reyes Marrow (Sarah) Sam Guthrie's tiny ponytail The ol’ wall-of-televisions trope The cost of one banana Sebastian Shaw vs the IRS (maybe) A mostly empty attic Wolverine’s etiquette lessons The dessert claw vs the salad claw The physicality of Carlos Pacheco’s art Cannonball, the grown-up in the room Magneto’s increasingly complicated past Magnus, Erik, and Max (again) Uncanny X-Men #351-352 Cecilia Reyes’s return-to-office Intersectionality Pyro, forever dying of the Legacy Virus Daredevil vs Cecilia Reyes’s bedside manner Kevin, Lord of the Jungle Ending conversations by turning into a bird A.I.M.* (*Advanced Idea Mechanics) Crows of Ill Portent A Box of Entity Condors and Cockatoos Logan’s denim proclivities Arcade vs. Mojo Special thanks to Dylan Higgins for edits and production assistance! NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Burning Man! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.

In which nobody is sure what Emplate actually eats; airport food is not a good peace offering; Larry Hama writes a good Jubilee; the St. Croix siblings merge; and we honestly have no idea what a token is.

In which Bishop gets another miniseries; splinter timelines make fun narrative sandboxes; the X.S.E. goes detecting; the Statue of Liberty never fares well in dystopian futures; “Booger” is not a name you give yourself; and we can’t believe it’s taken us this long to make a hanky code joke about Bishop.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: independent comics! X-PLAINED What makes a comic independent Superbutch Little Garden 44 Presidents and a Letter to a Cat Finder Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (again) Elfquest Nexus Prince of Persia Love & Rockets Jim Ottaviani's science comics Wet Moon

In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.

And now for something completely different. (Death's Head II #1) In which Death's Head gets around universes; AIM fails to recognize closed narrative loops; we need more huscarls in comics; time travel occasionally solves the problems it creates; and we bid a fond farewell (for now) to Al Kennedy. X-PLAINED: Death's Head Death's Head II #1-4 Marvel UK Death's Head I Minion Earth-8410 The far future of 2020 Dr. Evelyn Necker How to dress for time travel Reed Richards's mother's name Earth-12892 Robin Hood of Future Past Heavily armed nuns Tuck Spratt The Lord High Protector Huscarls Baron Strucker V Charnel A large number of deaths A deft solution to a complex problem Essential Marvel UK Marvel UK vs. Marvel US NEXT WEEK: Go outside and touch some grass! NEXT EPISODE: The return of Jay! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3) In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don't talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series. X-PLAINED: Possession Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again) Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3 A surprising helicopter Frictionless bed sheets S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. The word "obstreperous" The nefarious doings of nasty transom peekers, envelope steamers, and door kickers Larry Hama dialogue Rigby Fallon Yet another return of Ogūn One way to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to a Helicarrier Yet another fight on the astral plane Wolverine vs. technology The intrinsic power of life, I guess Visibility of psychic powers Live-action X pitches NEXT EPISODE: Death's Head II! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115) In which Marvel UK was a wild ride; everyone has a definitive Kitty Pryde; Sari St. Hubbins studies her X-Men; Moira MacTaggert discovers contagion theory; ideas do not stories make; Meggan is the heart of the team; and Excalibur inches towards its finale. X-PLAINED: Marvel UK Digitek Excalibur #114-117 What Excalibur's been up to Tunnels vs. sewers An unexpected callback Slang The mutability of Kitty Pryde Friendship Sari St. Hubbins Fashion One way to get around a power inhibitor A frosted tips outline Viruses Phalanx love Greebling A substantial retcon Excalibur vs. the Sidri Marvel characters' musical associations Whether there have been more X-Men or Avengers NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1) In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas. X-PLAINED Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy A new direction for Generation X Larry Hama Al vs. U.S. geography Generation X #32-33 Generation X Holiday Special New Mutants #92 Thing One & Thing Two St. Croix The Circus of Crime The Pirates of Dark Water (somewhat) Hacker T. Dog Why Wolfsbane is scared of clowns Skrull Kill Crew Carnie Voltron Chief Authier Phat beats A reality biscuit Emplate’s pocket dimension Chimera and Dirtnap Variant interiors Nanny & Orphan-Maker (more) (again) Santa Claus (in general) Benefits of inconsistent characterization NEXT WEEK: Break week NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things. X-PLAINED Spat The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics How not to back up your work Uncanny X-Men #350 X-Men #70 A shambles What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance A very fancy cover Insufficient outerwear Senses Justice as a decorating theme Baffling statuary The return of Erik the Red Erik the Red (again) Ferris Gambit’s big secret A large number of continuity errors A total dick move De-icing Untitled Marrow Game A big fight Living room surgery Legal documents Favorite anniversary issues Dangling plot threads NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the X-Force road trip era begins; Team X takes on a new dimension; Dani Moonstar gets her subtext back; pointing out a stereotype doesn’t excuse using it; Tabitha Smith generally deserves better; platypuses are underrepresented in the superhero genre; Hell becomes Stryfe; and Domino gets back in the game. X-PLAINED A dastardly plot X-Men 2099 Road trips X-Force #71-74 Team X A Love & Rockets reference Stan and Ollie The Triplets of Belleville How not to fund your film Michael Whitecloud Project Stepladder Colossal Man Several references to X-Force -1 Platypuses Edwin Martynec Weaponized humming The death of Warpath Hell Blackheart Friendship A mysterious villain NOTE: Whoa, The Cybertronic Spree is actually a real band! NEXT WEEK: The return of Erik the Red! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit's past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD. X-PLAINED Motormouth (Harley Davis) Motormouth and Killpower Uncanny X-Men #347-349 Grovel and Spat A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy An extraordinarily half-assed action figure Load-bearing backstory Landscape The other Nanny Elegant foreshadowing Beast's appearance as a mutant power Gambit's chest hair The end of playtime CCA-compliant foliage Deathbird and Bishop A vanity plate Eany and Meany One-off psychometry Psylocke vs. Maggott Decompression Havok's enduring lack of a Ph.D. NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road! NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel's voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing. X-PLAINED: Spider-Man's head cold Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1 Sabretooth (Victor Creed) Wild Child (Kyle Gibney) Horrible violence, expertly implied The ubiquity of sewers Saturday morning cartoons of R-rated movies Serial killers with G.I. Joe names Improbable tracking Bilingual crime Chekhov's waterfall DRUGS X-Factor #136-137 The Hound program Skeumorphism Doctor Valerie Cooper and Major Edmond Atkinson, excellent exes Questionable wound-dressing Holograms Government jobs The sad fate of the Chase family Nimrod disambiguation The Marvel Universe According to Doctor Seuss NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men return from space! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence! X-PLAINED: Jay's spatial and temporal whereabouts Cannonball, Mirage, Magik, Sunspot, Wolfsbane, Karma, Magma, Cypher, Warlock, and Douglock New Mutants: Truth or Death Kitty Pryde and Illyana Rasputin, gal pals Triple-dog dares Nova Roma, or not Mikhail F**king Rasputin The arrogance of reality warpers How to write Magma The Technarchy and the Phalanx Hardee's X-Men: Time Gliders Farmboy chic Bernard Chang's 21 Panels Branching vs. overwriting timelines The effects of de-aging and history rewriting on immunology Found family She Who Swam With The Acanti Sleep-Eeze Mattresses Starring The Hulk Arrako Continuity synchronicity S.W.O.R.D. as a workplace drama The moral downfall of Abigail Brand The leadership styles of Storm, Magneto, and Sunspot Himbo disambiguation The fates of Armor, Risque, and Peeper Mysterium Clicker Santa Claus The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence (Note: Our interview with Al Ewing contains spoilers for X-Men: Red!) NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay has exciting news, Rick Leonardo draws an impressively creepy mad scientist’s lair, the clouds are purple and so is the prose, Powers of X gets a subtle prequel 21 years early, Cable’s own tolerance has finally reached zero, and we summarize Bastion’s backstory way, way faster than Bastion does. X-PLAINED: Machine Man (X-51) (Aaron Stack) Operation Zero Tolerance (more) (again) Jay’s upcoming parental leave Bastion (Sebastion Gilberti) M-Tech Powerman 5000 Cable & Machine Man Annual 1998 Hobgits and their sound effects Street Fighter: the Roleplaying Game Batroc ze Lepair Jack Kirby’s 2001: A Space Odyssey X-51 / X-23 overlaps Classic Summers Family Bullshit Psionic soapboxes What makes Bastion a compelling villain The necessity of companions Master Mold 3.0 & Nimrod 2.0 Machine Man & Bastion Annual 1998 Terrible font choices ZORCH Cable vs. floors The carbon footprint of robotic fascism Marvel Comics Presents #17-24 (just a little) Incredible Hulk Annual #7 (just a tad) The Siege Perilous The future of Machine Man The hypothetical 2022 version of Bastion Historical events in which we’d love to see long-lived mutants take part NEXT WEEK: We take a break for the holidays! IN TWO WEEKS: The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men 2022 Giant-Size Winter Special! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Dave Tomaine and Rho Sovia's graphic novel, Keeper! LINKS AND FURTHER READING You can buy Keeper digitally at BigCartel or physically at Studio Two Boys! Check out Dave's band Cave People! Find Dave on Twitter (twice)!

In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.

In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.

In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about lawyers and law. LINKS AND FURTHER READING Follow Lyra Foster on Twitter! Check out the Trans Family Network!

In which the X-Mansion has unusually large vents; Cable’s hair should not be floppy; Nate Grey meets his maternal grandparents; and we would really like to know more about the Siege of the Vapor Ants.

In which Danielle Moonstar quiet quits; a bunch of people regular quit; we are pleasantly surprised by the survival of a minor character; tough guys wear hearts; and X-Force once again takes its place as the best comic of the line.

In which some puns are fundamentally visual; Jubilee is a really good kid; Bastion is a bad person but a good villain; Bachalo does Romita; Seagulls are assholes (but reasonably good narrators); Skin has no time for fantasies; Hitch does Cockrum; and Operation Zero Tolerance (unofficially) begins (again).

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about basketball. (Kind of.) LINKS AND FURTHER READING Check out donor Dave Buesing's site, Comic Book Herald!

In which there’s a lot of good television out there; Shang-Chi says the title of the story at every possible opportunity; Wolverine is probably not a Deadhead; Sebastian Shaw thinks he’s a bigger deal than he is; and Operation Zero Tolerance officially begins.

In which Colossus is good at friendship; nobody notices when Amanda Sefton disappears; evil peaked in the disco era; and Pete Wisdom had hot claws before it was cool.

In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Jadzia Axelrod and Jess Taylor's graphic novel, Galaxy: The Prettiest Star!

In which we make an omission; X-Factor’s concept of “underground” is somewhat unconventional; Trevor Chase turns uncanny moppet; and Strong Guy and Lila Cheney have some very stilly space adventures.

In which it’s hard to be a mutant post-Onslaught; two Chrises make friends; X-Force goes to off-brand Disney World; we are Team Risque; and you can go to the punch dimension but probably shouldn’t stay long.

In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back!

In which Brian Braddock has grown as a person; we remain unimpressed by the Crimson Dawn; Marvel discovers email; seven swords to two people is a pretty good ratio; everyone hates Spiral; and love may or may not save the world.

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

In which no one wants to be compared to Chris Bachalo; it’s always a holiday for Generation X; you may already be a Guthrie; M is a fascinating mystery; and Black Tom Cassidy (finally) makes his move.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Blindseer0.

In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.

In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawls is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.

In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike. X-PLAINED: Halloween Jack Domino (Neena Thurman) Domino #1-3 Milo Thurman The idiomatic Sam Hill Lady Deathstrike (again) The Reavers (again) Pico Boot pouches Puck (Eugene Judd) Dante’s Beatrice Several Skullbusters Robot tits The E.T. Atari game One way to get out of saying “I love you” Our unpopular favorites NEXT EPISODE: Giving in to D’Spayre! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Chuck Reynolds.

In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction; and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.

In which there is definitely a wrong way to enjoy your comics; Storm could probably use a more secure storage system; the Externals need more camp; and Joseph makes some valid points.

In which Frank Punisher is not a role model; Carl the X-Cutioner is not very good at secret identities; Miles tries his hand at poetry; and everything’s funny with a sidecar.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Andy Bartholomew.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others. X-PLAINED: Damian Tryp X-Factor (more) (again) Uncanny X-Men #340 X-Factor #128-30 More Drake family dynamics The Sword of Shannara The general vagueness of Graydon Creed Several ninjas Hound stuff Val Cooper’s pajamas An unexpected return Shapeshifting Overextended plotlines Some unusually threatening dad jokes The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed Some time travel bullshit Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.

In which Douglock is Douglock; Kitty Pryde gets lost in nostalgia; it continues to suck to be Colossus; Professor Xavier is a jerk; the MLF makes one and only one valid point; Ben Raab’s Excalibur run begins; the Acolytes try to get the band back together; and the land mines are a metaphor that are also real land mines.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week's topic was chosen by Play Comics.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl's telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris's parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron's origin story shall never be questioned. X-PLAINED: The Locust (Dr. August Hopper) Uncanny X-Men #46, 52, and 60 Genuine tragedy Funereal fashion Frederick "Amos" Duncan The Juggernaut (Cain Marko) (again) The Crimson Cosmos Energy globules Charles Xavier's telepathy lending library Jean Grey, spiteful seamstress Erik the Red (the first one) (Scott Summers) Lorna Dane, fashion icon Filially-obligated villainy Psychic-delia The sadly short-lived Roy Thomas / Neal Adams run Suspension of disbelief Pteranodons Sauron (Karl Lykos, fantasy nerd) Alex Summers, perpetual captive and/or villain battery Miles's favorite two-page spread How to choose the perfect supervillain name X-Men: The Animated Series, 1960s Edition Our Silver Age X-creator wish list Magnetism NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur X-PLAINED: Uncanny X-Men #339 Spider-Man disambiguation A. Kubert disambiguation J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!) Sneaking songs The history of smoking regulation on airlines Creed disambiguation Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants Bonding while falling out of planes X-Men #59 The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington Well-drawn Wolverines Hercules vs The Tick Wolverine Annual 1996 The tragic death of Mariko Yashida Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada) Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions Josef Stalin, apparently? Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors Our logo fonts James Howlett, guidance counselor Onslaught but not evil Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we return to Rutland, Vermont; Emma Frost faces her salad demons; Banshee is not even supposed to be here today; no one should ever have to drive in New York City; Fenris is both evil and obnoxious; and we’re still not over that one Senator Kelly action figure.

Sometimes when the world's a trash fire, it's hard to figure out where to start. We talk activism, figuring out how you can help, and what we're doing to fight back against anti-LGBTQ+ legislation in Florida. Click through here to find out more about our campaign to raise funds for Equality Florida!

In which Jay and guest X-Pert Connor Goldsmith explore approaches to podcasting about X-Men; difficult characters; costume preferences; our mutual mistrust of horses; owning our perspectives; and good on-ramps.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the Beast miniseries is actually a cleverly disguised Karma miniseries; Gateway’s moral alignment remains a mystery; Cannonball rocks some sideburns; there are many reasons to dislike Viper; and every #1 is somebody’s first. X-PLAINED: An off-panel death X-Force #62 Beast #1-3 Karma’s family and backstory (again) Twin absorption MacGuffins and/or children Clearcut and Mindmeld Unconsciousness Spiral (again) Marios What to do (visually) with six arms Spiral’s mutates Some very impressive body horror MId-fight stalling Misplaced revenge Hank McCoy’s multiversal offspring The history of Karma’s sexual orientation NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Connor Goldsmith X-Plain X-Plaining! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along. X-PLAINED: The worst mutant power Generation X #20-21 X-Factor #127 Bachalo critters Bastion (more) (again) Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of) Chevy the janitor (again) Mean Cuisine Harker the cat A threatening salad Yet another time-traveling Nate Flirting A movie reference U.S.1 and Baron von Blimp Several ways to fail a midterm “Autism” Miguela Torres Trevor Chase A series of interviews Richard Starkings and Comicraft Destiny’s absence from film NEXT EPISODE: Baseball! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.

In which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

Inferno #4 is out; and, as promised, we've got a bonus interview with Jonathan Hickman--unedited this time, so please forgive the audio--going into the gory details of the miniseries and its finale!

In which Hub & Lisa X-Plain Howard the Duck; Jay & Miles X-Plain Daydreamers; and Jonathan Hickman X-Plains his tenure on the X-line!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Professor X has no time for your sympathy; there are too many people in the bathroom; everything’s more fun with J. Jonah Jameson; psychologists dress better in the 616; the Rainbow Bears have your back; and Onslaught finally, actually, for-real ends. X-PLAINED: How Logan got his adamanitum back (again) Onslaught (briefly) Uncanny X-Men #337 X-Men #57 Onslaught Epilogue #1 What we wish Onslaught had been The anti-mutant agenda Alarm clocks Ruby quartz storage and cleaning Optic-blast sound effects Googol vs. google Breakfast A familiar cover homage The semiotics of regret Disappearance-montage photos Accountability Polychromatic world-building Prisoner M-13 Prisoner M-9 (Nina) The Manite Project The Rainbow Bears Renee Majcomb Getting through Operation Zero Tolerance Our favorite continuity tangles NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL (feat. Jonathan Hickman) Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! 7Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends. X-PLAINED: Heroes Reborn Return Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial Onslaught so far X-Men #56 Onslaught: Marvel Universe Jay’s definitive Bond Joseph (more) The physical evolution of Onslaught Sense of scale Hawkeye (TV series) Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist The three genders A really big fight A miracle of magnetism The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes Beast’s scientific career Chamber’s voice NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans. X-PLAINED: The Clone Saga (briefly) How not to dispose of a dead clone Ben Reilly Amazing Spider-Man #415 Spider-Man #72 Green Goblin #12 Punisher #11 Onslaught’s increasingly nebulous goals Sentinel timing Coffee shop AUs Sentinels in Manhattan Several fights with Sentinels Green Goblin (Phil Urich) Uncles Ben The Lunatic Laugh Punisher (Frank Castle) (briefly) Yet another helicarrier crash The happiest cannon fodder The Junkyard Dogs Rashid Hammer Jones The surprisingly exciting world of NYC maritime salvage Make-believe superpowers Deadlines NEXT EPISODE: A Big Fight Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook. X-PLAINED: The Golden Archer Wolverine #104-105 Generation X #18-19 Portions of Elektra’s deal Stick Wolverine’s nose Gateway and Onslaught Several flashbacks The Onslaught goblin Retcons and character accountability A wet open A somewhat atypical plane flight Toad by way of Chris Bachalo The mysterious DL Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff Cooking with Emma Frost Quasi-benevolent mind control Surgeon A bonus Shadowcat power Digital invisibility NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)! As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.https://www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/X349.mp3

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot. X-PLAINED: Teenage Iron Man Onslaught thus far What Onslaught wants Uncanny X-Men #335 X-Men Unlimited #11 Avengers #401 The rebirth of Apocalypse The Apocalocophagous The Age of Wonders X-Man vs. Professor X Nate Grey-sitting Humanity’s Last Stand Simon Trask Bastion Rogue and Joseph Avengers fashion Assumptions Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about school.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need. X-PLAINED Hyperstorm (kinda) Wolverine #11-16 A very full week What Wolverine has been up to Madripoor Several supporting cast members “Patch” Archie Corrigan Burt Corrigan Several things to do in San Francisco Vampire humor Ba’al The Gehenna Stone Penis bones The Hand of God Doomsday Mutual fratricide A midair brawl Secret identity problems Claw problems Other metals with which one’s skeleton might be bonded Bisecting Logan Team-ups we’d like to see NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, honestly, we promise. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which author and friend of the podcast Douglas Wolk joins us to discuss his upcoming book All of the Marvels; his epic quest to read all Marvel Comics, ever; and what he learned along the way.

In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about large things.

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone. X-PLAINED: Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING Archangel: Phantom Wings Unorthodox artistic decisions Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III) Angst, renewed Bird ichor Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit How (not?) to flirt Uncanny X-Men #333 Various Roberts Kelly Graydon Creed, doin’ Mom proud Bastion, Nimrod, & Master Mold Operation Zero Tolerance X-Teams and their lanes A naked murder-uncle Pink villains Obscure callbacks Event synergy X-Men #53 Day to-day challenges of telepathy Super-Saiyan Magneto Phoenix (Jean Grey), actual adult Onslaught That scene from 1964’s X-Men #3 A surprisingly insightful look at Professor X’s dark side Logan’s assorted friendships with teen girls XMEN Disease NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets, predictably, x-treme. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Chris Bachalo returns to Generation X; we briefly forget that Mondo exists; Synch is an extraordinarily good kid; not everybody gets a jetpack; Jubilee takes a turn as team strategist; Chamber has Onslaught problems; the X-Cutioner has no discernible dignity; the M does not stand for “metaphorical.” X-PLAINED: Jubilee’s aunt Hope Generation X #15-17 Generation X (more) (again) Emplates (more) (again) An instance of possession The Thomas family Intersectional bias Passing privilege Narratively-determined technology Giovanni the janitor Synch vs. Mimic An exceptionally slow-burn reveal Possession as a vehicle for character development The X-Cutioner (Carl Denti) (more) (again) Metaphorical DNA Fun times at the fair Ruby quartz adaptive technology Mutant names NEXT EPISODE: Fun with flechettes! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.

In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.

In which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.

In which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and guest hawk Tea Fougner talked about pirates. You can find Tea at @teaberryblue on pretty much all of the social medias!

In which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.

In which writer Si Spurrier joins us to talk Nightcrawler, the unsustainability of Krakoa, bringing back Legion, the stuff growing on Dr. Nemesis’s head, Welsh accents, founding (and not founding) a mutant religion, and—yes—Onslaught.

In which we cover somewhat peculiar content under somewhat peculiar circumstances; nobody does it like Alan Davis; in this house, we appreciate Gracie Gamble; nominal errors are not what they appear; and you should probably not leave your children with most of the X-Men.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards. Topics, roughly: Fantasy wizards Space wizards Beards and wizards and gender Vancian spellcasting Wizard taxonomy The Baal Shem Book learnin' Towers and Discworld wizards Dragonlance wizards Tolkien wizards Iceman with a wizard beard Which animals make the best wizards Magic: the Gathering Our wizardy D&D characters

In which William Stryker is exceptionally difficult to kill; the terminology around Emplate’s powers is absolute nonsense even by comic-book standards; inkers deserve more credit; we would totally read comics about Murmur the Softpoken Mummy; Bishop comes to the rescue; and nothing really resolves. X-PLAINED: What happened to William Stryker Gratuitous use of the adjective “genetic” Emplate (again) Generation X #12-14 Inks Penance’s original backstory Pining A really unpleasant reunion Accent problems Gayle Edgerton Vincente Bulwark D.O.A. A somewhat chaotic victory Mutant teams from non-anglophone countries X-characters Miles would like to write NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK NEXT EPISODE: ClanDestine! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Dardevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

In which Swimsuit Catalog is not an actual style of martial arts; Onslaught dabbles in vandalism; Crule is a special guy; we identify briefly with X-Force; and Charles Xavier is the Keyser Soze of Onslaught.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, in honor of the 1995 film's 1337-week anniversary, we talked about the finest movie about technology ever made, Hackers. Topics, roughly: Hackers Mister The Plague What David Bowie and Angelina Jolie have in common Razor & Blade The glory of Matthew Lillard Counterculture Queer (sub)text Focal characters Jay's sequel pitch In retrospect, we should have talked way more about Phreak, played amazingly by Renoly Santiago. Sorry, Renoly! That's what we get for doing Hawk Talk without our usual outlines.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat. X-PLAINED: Mutant Brood The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2 Theological origins of John Ostrander Hair An unspoken motif in pin-up art Reverend William Conover (more)(again) Hannah Conover (more)(again) The Brood (more)(again) The Brood Empress The Firstborn Atypical Queen-Broodling power dynamics Brood of the future A strange angel What Gambit’s trench coat is made of NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk NEXT EPISODE: The end of the Externals! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.

In which Nate Grey has the soul of a man in a mesh shirt; Black Air is somehow even worse than you thought it was; Hulk does not want to be x-treme teen from alternate dimension; we are excited as hell for the upcoming Frasier/Ewing Gamma Flight; and Moira MacTaggert is (sometimes) the adult we need.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Internet. Topics, roughly: Blazing fast 28.8 Kbps dial-up AOL CDs Final Fantasy, MIDI-style Angelfire vs. Carrd The Gaming Intelligence Agency The Brunching Shuttlecocks The finest memes of the early 2000s Chaos Social media, as explained by Jay Social media, as baffles Miles Podcasts vs. the Internet

In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X. X-PLAINED: X-Force #49-51 Haircuts The return off Sebastian Shaw Stansfield A series of kidnappings Solar-powered superpowers Attempted murder Memories Cable as an audience surrogate Tabitha’s new codename The first Tick live-action series Warpath’s running speed Risqué What gravity sounds like X-leisure activities Magneto’s human name/s NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Topics, roughly: Daredevil parodies The nature of mutation The four humors Archetypes of masculinity Legal status of mutant animal people Questionable toys Adaptations and adaptations of adaptations Miles's favorite Mirage comic story The excellently weird Archie comic series Girl turtles and naming conventions Movies good and bad Milesangelo

In which we recommend against having a birthday in the Marvel Universe; Shinobi Shaw was a proto-Quentin Quire; Lee Forrester returns under the best possible circumstances; Bloodscream lives his best unlife; Belasco is apparently master of the cat people now; and a former Marvel intern returns to solve a mystery.

In which Cordelia Frost is a terrible friend; Mondo is better than the story arcs that surround him; and we’d really love to see a series about Sean Cassidy’s super groovy past.

In which we spend a large amount of time on a group of small characters; X-Babies stories cover a wide range of quality; Mojo is relegated to public access; the ‘Vengers rebel against their creator; the X-Babies excavate Star Comics; we adjust our opinion of the mid-‘90s; and WandaVision is probably not connected to the Mojoverse.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about vegetables. Kind of. Topics, roughly: Vegetables. Like we said. Is Apocalypse a fruit? Ghost vs. slime trees Dwarves in the rutabagas Ramen mishaps How to be less terrible at cooking Cherimoya, that weirdo

In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.

In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

In which Pete Wisdom is the guy you love to glare at; Nightcrawler is right (and a delightfully complex individual); Colossus has a lot of issues; and Wolfsbane gets the confrontation we’ve been waiting for since the New Mutants graphic novel.

In which Jay and Miles receive a mysterious missive and are visited by three of our favorite X-writers; Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix is a pleasant surprise; Nathaniel Essex is the most dramatic man in the Marvel Universe; the sewers of Victorian London were a happenin’ place; Apocalypse isn’t even French; Beast is the flip-side of Sinister; community is for everyone; the Internet is (kind of) Krakoa; and death is fixable, but trauma might take a little more work.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked (exhaustedly) about This Freaking Year. Topics, roughly: This year was pretty rough Maybe next year will be better? Some things are cool, though NOTE: Miles watched Knives Out immediately after recording this episode, and Jay was right: it is delightful.

In which we are broken by leprechauns.

In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.

In which we review the New Mutants' film debut.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about holidays, winter and otherwise. Topics, roughly: Time, which used to make sense Several holidays and feelings, media, and traditions related thereto Flash Gordon Mixed-faith families A New York Christmas Wedding (the lesbian time travel gay dead baby angel movie) Gingerbread Secular rituals Night in the Woods: Lost Constellation The Dark is Rising (again) The Spirit of Christmas (which is to say, exploding) J. Michael Strazynski's The Real Ghostbusters Community's first three holiday specials Justice League: Comfort & Joy Passover and that time Moses gave Pharaoh a frog Passover and Miles trying very hard to play it cool Chocolate bunny funerals Easter basket comics Being excellent to each other and partying on Links and further reading: In Defense of Humbug by Jay Smooth

In which Jay and/or patriarchy ruin everything; Archangel is dubiously aspirational; we need a moratorium on Jack the Ripper stories; there are a lot of Masterminds; and Arcade is a whole bundle of psychosexual weirdness.

In which Haven deserved better; Cyclops and Havok have a lot of feelings in Alaska; X-Factor is the cop team; breaking up with your girlfriend between issues is a massive faux pas; Haven got a bad deal; no one cares about Random’s feelings; Spiral is weird Twitter; and Alex Summers once again fails to finish his dissertation.

In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably have been an annual.

In which author Bob Proehl joins Jay to discuss the Resonant Duology and what it means to write original work rooted visibly in the X-universe!

In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

In which we take a substantial detour; Minipax is no Raul Julia; Corsair tries (and fails) to retire; everything is cooler in space; vengeance is more of a vocation than a career; the Starjammers win an intergalactic war with a slide show; and we pitch some television.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about our current, and Jay's favorite, season. Topics, roughly: Beatni(c)ks Spoopiness vs. Spookiness Fat bears Seasons (and hemispheres) Symbolism and secular ritual Jay's very specific Halloween costumes Disappointing bats Asymmetrically recognizable couples' costumes Inaccurate TMNT journalism Over the Garden Wall Costume Quest MediEvil Silent Hill playthroughs The Adventures of Pete and Pete Corn and/or mud mazes Knitting Ginger Snaps (and elaborate homages) Curious chickens Vincent Price Internal hairdo buttresses Flannel and layers and warm drinks

In which ballistics get weird; Black Air is no W.H.O.; we have surprisingly mixed feelings about Pete Wisdom and Kitty Pryde as a couple; there is an actual creepy clown bar in Portland; blood eagles are excessively ostentatious; the Uncreated just want to be cool; and Rory Campbell continues his descent into supervillainy.

In which writing X-books requires a somewhat different approach to continuity than writing about them; time is weird; Jay overthinks fictional publications; Scott Summers is (at least sometimes) Autistic; Sinister is not subtle; and no story is the whole story.

In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, our producer Matthew Hunter subbed in for Jay and he and Miles talked about the video games they grew up on! Topics, roughly: Crystalis Power Blade Fighting robots (in general) Super Mario World F-Zero Final Fantasy II (which is to say IV) Street Fighter II Rockin' Kats Shatter Hand Battletoads Lemmings The Incredible Machine The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past Turtles in Time Mario Paint Doom Secret of Mana Mega Man X Disney adaptations Final Fantasy III (which is to say VI) Donkey Kong Country Super Punch Out Illusion of Gaia BioForge DWANGO (Dial-up Wide-Area Network Game Operation) Full Throttle, Quest For Glory, Gabriel Knight... Wild ARMs Wipeout Stun Runner Resident Evil Final Fantasy VII Fallout Parasite Eve Xenogears Baldur's Gate Tetris DX Pokémon (Blue) LUNAR Silent Hill You can find Matt on Twitter and his music on Bandcamp!

In which we continue our ongoing tour of the post-Age of Apocalypse X-Universe; Onslaught gets a name; nobody’s sure what Noah Dubois is doing there; Iceman gets to be the practical one, for once; T&A should not generally appear on the same visual plane; someone needs to talk to Cannonball about kink safety; and Emma Frost lets a call go to voicemail.

In which X-Factor gets its own roster shakeup; most bartenders will look at you funny if you order a flight of superheroes; Kaboom is a great name for a nightclub; we lack significant feelings about the clone saga; Yukio probably sends love to everyone’s girlfriends; Forge has terrible coping mechanisms; and Jay’s current life is not conducive to consistent acoustics (sorry!).

In which Jay discovers a continuity loop; phonetic spelling reaches a new level of implausibility; it’s always already Onslaught; X-Force’s roster gets shaken up; Siryn goes undercover; and the Upstarts remain vaguely plot-relevant despite our fervent wishes.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the movies we grew up on! Topics, roughly: The glories of VHS Flight of Dragons Fantastic Planet Star(s), both Wars and Trek The Princess Bride, which is objectively perfect The Dark Crystal My Dinner With Andre (again) The Crow Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy Help Yellow Submarine Wayne & Garth & Bill & Ted Defending Your Life Ghostbusters Various musicals

In which writer and editor Laura Hudson joins us as we take a break from X-Men comics to discuss the complicated ethics of consuming and covering comics by creators we’re not comfortable promoting. LINKS: Read more of Laura's work! We were going to discuss this very germane Orwell essay but ran out of time. CW: Description and discussion of abuse and harassment: So Many of Us An overview of some of the Lobdell allegations and Jay's response to 2013 discussion of same. No visual companion to this one, for obvious reasons; see the links listed above. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which you should probably not mess with space junk; Exodus is terrible at many things; Rusty Collins deserved better; X-Men #100 references are dirty (but effective) pool; Magneto goes through a lot of orbital bases; Nate Grey makes things worse; Frenzy is generally the most competent member of any team she’s on; and we sincerely regret not making more Satellite of Love jokes about Avalon.

In which we enter our fourth century of podcasting with brand new theme music; we have both Wolverine questions and wolverine questions; it is extremely rough to be Bishop; the creator of Garfield may or may not live in a sewer on Earth-616; Rogue needs better coping mechanisms; bigotry is depressingly timeless; and everything is Onslaught now.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the television shows we grew up on (and a few current ones)! Topics, roughly: Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood Masters of the Universe She-Ra The Real (vs. non-Real) Ghostbusters Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Little Shop of Horrors Beetlejuice Toxic Crusaders Attack of the Killer Tomatoes The Adventures of Pete & Pete (and the not-so-secret origin of this podcast) Les Schtroumpfs (and the time they maybe fought Satan) Batman: The Animated Series X-Men: The Animated Series X-Men: Evolution Wolverine & the X-Men The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour The X-Files Star Trek: Voyager Earth 2 VR5 M.A.N.T.I.S. The Simpsons Daria Tuca & Bertie Gravity Falls Over the Garden Wall You can check out Waiting for October, our zine based on The Adventures of Pete & Pete, on Gumroad!

In which the Age of Apocalypse comes to an end; Angel briefly lives up to his potential; Bishop was sometimes right; It’s not a climactic ending without an X-Men #137 reference; Colossus breaks our hearts; X-Men: Marvels Snapshot will be out in September; and somehow we have made 300 of these things.

In which some universes are more pleasant than others; Havok is basically a Care Bear; Wolverine is a P.R. nightmare; Nate Grey tries; stealth is not among the Silver Surfer’s strengths; Night Thrasher ascends to godhood; Jay and Miles dive down the What If rabbit hole.

In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.

In which Nate Grey is a drama kid; Forge-295 is the hero we need; Mister Sinister is a graduate of the Danielle “Moonstar” Moonstar school of secret identities; and we really, really, really wish that the theater troupe had gotten the ongoing series.

In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about a whole bunch of random topics suggested by you! Topics, sorta: Good birds Dinosaurs Florida Nostalgic video games Booze Avatar: The Last Airbender Probably some other stuff I'm forgetting

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which this episode may or may not be a temporal aberration; Gambit is bad at marketing; Jubilee’s sixth birthday was probably worse than yours; Earth-295’s chronology doesn’t make that much more sense than 616’s; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau wears this timeline well; Rictor makes a terrible Javert; Jubilee has no time for your makeouts; superheroes are basically preschoolers; there is only one Jahf; babies are bad at stealing; and Apocalypse is not a tactician. X-PLAINED: How Magneto got his own country A numerical convergence Earth-295 Gambit and the X-Ternals #1-4 X-Ternals The human resistance The Temple of Human Redress A terrible way to celebrate your birthday Lila Cheney of Earth-295 The Nuclear Naked Super Doctor Astronaut (mermaid) Peter Corbeau of Earth-295 Julio Richter (Earth-295) Mudir Homage Cross-timeline vocabulary Cosmic peril The state of the Shi’ar Empire in Earth-295 The Starjammers of Earth-295 Varyingly versatile energy absorption Jahf An exchange Some fancy sewers Guido Carosella’s devil’s bargains Earth-295... IN SPACE The nominal justification for Apocalypse’s society Which Apocalypse is currently running around Earth-616 NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk! NEXT EPISODE: “Amazing” might be pushing it. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can't be "real" literature.

In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talk about the (non-comic) books we grew up on! Books we mentioned, alphabetical by author: The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams Start with: The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander Start with: The Book of Three The Magic of Xanth by Piers Anthony Start with: A Spell for Chameleon Incarnations of Immortality by Piers Anthony Start with: On a Pale Horse Letters to Jenny by Piers Anthony Lots of stuff by Dave Barry Start with: The World According to Dave Barry or any other book Midnight Hour Encores by Bruce Brooks The Shannara series by Terry Brooks Start with: The Sword of Shannara The Magic Kingdom of Landover series by Terry Brooks Start with: Magic Kingdom for Sale - SOLD! Ender’s Game series by Orson Scott Card Start with: Ender’s Game The Dark is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper Start with: Over Sea, Under Stone (But you might want to start with the second book The Dark Is Rising instead and then go back) Bored of the Rings by Harvard Lampoon The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver Dragonriders of Pern series by Anne McCaffrey Start with: Dragonflight, or Dragonsinger works too The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley Lots of stuff by Cristopher Moore Start with: Island of the Sequined Love Nun or any other book He, She, and It by Marge Piercey Lots of stuff by Tom Robbins Start with: Another Roadside Attraction or any other book Sophie's Choice by William Styron Dragonlance series by Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman, etc. Start with: Chronicles, Book 1: Dragons of Autumn Twilight

In which it is probably not actually possible to be too nasty for Earth-295; Sinister is on nobody’s side but his own; Vulcan is still the worst Summers in the multiverse; the Bedlam Brothers are too delightful for the EMF; Heaven is just straight-up Rick’s Bar now; Polaris of Earth-295 is the saddest Polaris; Scott Summers and Jean Grey make a good team in most universes; and the metaphors of 1995 read very differently in 2020.

In which we celebrate a birthday; nuclear war is never a good Plan A; every Logan is Old Man Logan; we are underwhelmed by the Pretty Boys of Earth-295; Jean Grey is one hell of a pilot; there are so many reasons not to like Donald Pierce; teleporters are the narrative nuclei of the Age of Apocalypse; and Gateway of Earth-295 deserves significantly more in-depth exploration than we can provide.

In which it’s kind of a relief to be talking about a fictional apocalypse right now; Joe Madureira defines the look of the mid-late 1990s; Sunfire is less cheesecake than crepes Suzette; it all comes back to capes; Wild Child is more than he seems; Holocaust sucks about as much as you’d expect of someone who picked that code name; Jay has surprisingly strong feelings about Morph; Miles is all about judging some babies; resistance is fundamental to the X-Men’s identity within a superhero-universe paradigm; nobody deserves to be quarantined with Quentin Quire; and our two-week lead is making proofing these podcasts an increasingly surreal experience.

Normally, this would be a skip week and there wouldn't be an episode - but things are pretty weird in the world right now. Let's talk X-Men comfort reads - with bonus complete lack of editing!

In which this episode is way more topical than it was when we recorded it; Apocalypse makes a terrible Statue of Liberty; there are no reliable narrators; Robbie Robertson and Carmen Sandiego are your new OTP; Emplate is creepy in any universe; lawful evil is still evil; and partial universe reboots come with some fairly silly problems.

In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.

In which we enter the Age of Apocalypse!

In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.

In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

In which we sit down with writer Chip Zdarsky to talk crossovers, continuity, metaphors, and X-Men/Fantastic Four!

In which Jay is writing a Cyclops one-shot; It is honestly truly almost Legion Quest; Mystique plays the long game; sometimes filler is a good thing; Havok is a geophysicist, not a geographer; Lila definitely stole it; and more stories should be set in space junkyards.

In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.

In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.

In which the future is not great at codenames; spot foil is cool as hell; Mountjoy is bafflingly business-themed; Bishop goes full Point Break; Jean Grey and Lorna Dane should absolutely be friends; and Jay & Miles are heading to ECCC 2020!

In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.

In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Page makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.

In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

In which we’re finally both back in the virtual studio; Generation X is the new Inferno; the Phalanx Covenant begins; we’re not talking about Hickman in our coverage of this story; Banshee is the adult in the room; the Phalanx is pretty sexist; and gross powers are cool.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we hear from two generations of Stokeses for the price of one, buying comics for your son is a great way to rationalize reading them yourself, you should probably be reading The Immortal Hulk, and a 30-year comics hiatus ain’t stopping Steve. X-PLAINED: A well-loved copy of Fantastic Four #1 Marvel vs. DC in the Silver Age Requirements for an acceptable Doctor Doom The perils of competitive newsstand shopping Comics conventions: the days before Hall H The Long Game Bill Sienkiewicz: best of the best The Worst Comic Book Guy What makes the X-books special The experimental storytelling of New Mutants The Original Five The Long Box (and the Easter basket) Contagious enthusiasm Returning to the Marvel Universe as a lapsed reader Art styles over the years Tragic tales of mail-order chameleons The joys of the mainstreaming of nerddom Superhero movies as message pill pockets Fin Fang Foom HoX/PoX freakouts as father/son bonding Acid in vampires’ faces and other childhood traumas NEXT EPISODE: The Phalanx Covenant (finally) begins! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Seanan and Jay break down their favorite X-Villains; technically everyone is always cosplaying Mystique; Magneto remains the gold standard; and we have some concerns about Eye Boy.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Excalibur addresses a number of dangling plot threads, Britanic finally gets (somewhat) interesting, Kitty really wants Douglock to be Doug, Professor Xavier and Moira MacTaggert are the best exes, and the future has peculiar priorities. X-PLAINED: The life and death of Jamie Braddock Excalibur #81 Douglock (more) (again) Inker ambiguity Britanic and Meggan’s Christmas costumes The Excalibur Lighthouse’s sudden and inexplicable resurrection Mo’ time travel, mo’ problems 20,097 rocks on a shoreline Douglock: overly literal, dryly funny, or just plain thirsty? The Emotional Beat of Damocles The problems with crunch time Princess Diana: Excalibur vs. X-Statix Language and time Excalibur Annual #2 Appropriately bombastic narration Fashions of the future Psychic psychotherapy Sibling rivalry Mr. Poo Braddock moppets Oversimplification vs. ambiguity Spooling chambers (more) Excalibur as an X-leftovers book Air travel: leg-room vs. sorcerous doom Hannibal King: vampire detective and/or penciler Shadowcat and the pain of hope A Doug’s-eye view of New Mutants Emma Frost and aging Dazzler and roller derby NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Seanan McGuire talk villains! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Havok goes surfing; Malice eats a poodle; Strong Guy’s ex is a big jerk; Sinister’s gotta Sinister; and Miles learns about a meme. X-PLAINED: The Puppet Master X-Factor #103-105 Comparative Summers brooding Perks of being a mutant geologist and/or geophysicist Malice and Polaris’s complicated history A somewhat convoluted plan Several reasons to go to Rhinebeck, NY Friendship The extended Carosella family Candy stripers Mary, who is a big jerk A Sinister entrance The Nasty Boys (more) (again) Karate pants 14-year-old Chris Gethard’s feelings about Jamie Madrox Ionic vampirism Misguided vengeance Pushing back against whitewashing in comics NEXT EPISODE: Emma Frost takes a joyride Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants. X-PLAINED: Some guy from Earth-1610 X-Men: Unlimited #5 X-Men #34-35 Shi’ar sexting A rude awakening (literal) Rococo Stryfe Some uncomfortable fashion choices X-pajamas Definitely nude Charles Xavier Breasts Shi’ar imperial bullshit A very impressive headdress Reality TV... in space! A rude awakening (metaphorical) Shi’ar childhood Negotiation A total dick move Another total dick move Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men The return of Threnody The titles of several sex tapes High-tech spelunking Sinister’s secret DNA library Controversial outfits Nick Fury’s stuff Sunset Grace The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again NEXT EPISODE: Malice! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which we celebrate our 100th episode with producer Matt Hunter; you should always be kind to robots; Stryfe has a lot of very petty contingency plans; Britanic is bad at helping; we explore a peculiar pairing of book and arc; Charles Xavier has his moments; and Zero and Douglock defiy destiny.

In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.

In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

In which we return to our favorite convention; writer Vita Ayala remains an absolute legend; everything was always already queer; and nobody should ever have to wait 37 years for a kiss.

In which we explore the aftermath of Multiple Man’s death; X-Factor has a lot of feelings; it probably sucks to grieve with Charles Xavier; neither power nor responsibility is particularly fun; we finally find out who was trying to kill Polaris; Professor Power makes it to the big leagues; and the ‘90s were one long leg day.

In which fix-it fic goes canon (or vice versa); Psylocke is a complicated individual and/or individuals; assassins have complicated personal lives; it is probably ethical to tell your teammates about your camera eyes; Beast takes over Blue Team; we get our first tease of Generation X; Sabretooth is a surprisingly fun narrator; that Hickman fellow seems to know what he’s doing; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Lisa Winters pinch-hits for Jay, we take a trip to the newspaper funnies and back, Spider-Man and Beast are natural BFFs, nothing good ever happens at the Brand Corporation, and "mutant" can be a pretty fuzzy concept. X-PLAINED: Bessie the Hellcow Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the newspaper strip storyline) Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the comic book miniseries) Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the cartoon episodes) Four-color hoards Three-panel newspaper comic structure Sunday strips (and their Mark Trail deceptions) Hero Jaws - a breakfast-based theory Spider-Man (Peter Parker) The Brand Corporation The Beast (Henry McCoy) Narratively convenient Spider Sense Hobgoblin (Jason Macendale Jr.) Goblin gliders Picket signs (*air horn sound*) Finger blasters (heh) Laser cages Arcade’s superpower flowcharts Mutants: newspaper versus comic continuity Coming home to the 90s Lisa’s favorite X-Man Beast’s versatile character design Spider-to-X ratios Dark, tortured heroes Herbert Landon’s selective memory Confirmation bias Anti-mutant cancer goo Ironic reversals Wolverine, the most marketable mutant Evil British accents The most adaptable Spider-Man / X-Men crossovers The X-Men and the newspaper funnies NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor mourns and moves on. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Rachel Summers’ continuity somehow becomes even more complicated; X-Men: Phoenix is pretty much a Star Wars (minus the stars); cultural appropriation remains a problem in the distant future; we are surprisingly into the origins of the Askani; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!

In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

In which the Upstarts are the worst at Calvinball; Moonstar remains a non-mystery; Speedball gets a new costume; Shinobi Shaw never gets to finish a bath; Gamesmaster comes perilously close to getting context; Cable gets a new superpower; and Rahne Sinclair is too good for your crossover.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Nicole Miller is fashion designer to Earth-1218 and Earth-616, Jay rejects the word “bestest”, we kind of want to just read every word of X-Men #30 aloud, One is a perfect wedding song for Scott and Jean, and you save the last dance for who brought you. X-PLAINED: The perils of animated weddings X-Men: The Wedding Album Nonstandard trim sizes Misattributed Oscar Wilde quotes Shatterstar’s favorite Olympic event Jean Grey’s short-lived modeling career Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive A most excellent wedding dress Cursive fonts in comics Jean Grey and Jubilation Lee, ambiguously excellent chosen family X-Men #30 An event decades in the making Wolverine, Master of Penmanship Charles Xavier, reader stand-in The largely forgotten Madelyne Pryor The understandably tentative Rachel Summers The bow-tie scene A phenomenal two-page spread A set of perfect vows A bittersweet song for a bittersweet couple Victor Creed, vengeful kitty-cat Rogue and Gambit, best worst wedding guests Video albums vs. Instagram Beast and Banshee, jazz combo Scott and Jean as a couple vs. individuals The necessity of Scott and Jean’s relationship context NEXT EPISODE: Goodbye, Phoenix. Hello, Britanic. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

In which Miles invokes Freddie Mercury; Polaris is more competent than the rest of X-Factor put together; Armageddon theology does not intersect well with superpowers (or politics, or anything else); Val joins a cult (kind of); Random joins the team (kind of); Haven is a surprisingly nonviolent mass-murderer; Havok is confused by women; and good guys don’t have orbital lasers.

We had a long conversation about Dark Phoenix; and we have uploaded it here for your edutainment! WARNING: CONTAINS A WHOLE LOT OF SPOILERS FOR DARK PHOENIX.

In which Jay proposes a new way of comparing superheroes; Beast faces an ethical dilemma; Mister Sinister has an Xavier moment; Sabretooth is a terrible houseguest; Cyclops totally gets what you see in Wolverine; Psylocke would absolutely be into hunting humans for sport; Sage probably vapes; rich people are definitely not like us; Shinobi Shaw is his own best friend; and Classic X-Men backup stories are canonical as hell.

In which writer Fabian Nicieza joins us to talk ‘90s crossovers, narrative legacies, and what Adam X’s word balloons really sound like!

In which Sabretooth is weirdly ubiquitous; Maverick is a terrible guest; not all second chances are equivalent; Graydon Creed is the red delicious apple of people; Mystique is the master of murder monologues; and the Darkholmes give the Summers family a run for its dysfunctional money.

In which Tom Cassidy and Cain Marko may be the most stable couple in the Marvel Universe; Rory Campbell is no Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; Siena Blaze remains a big jerk; the Cassidy family has some issues; and we are dismayed by an inexplicable dearth of leprechauns.

In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.

In which Danielle Moonstar is not a master of disguise; the MLF are bad enough dudes to kidnap a guy who works near the president; Tempo wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Reignfire is no Magneto; we now desperately want X-Force matryoshka dolls; Feral quits the team; Henry Peter Gyrich fails to learn from experience (or anything else); small children are bad at everything; Shatterstar gets a tagline; Sam Guthrie REALLY needs a vacation; and it’s surprisingly difficult to choose a favorite resurrection.

In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

In which we celebrate a red-letter birthday with a look back at five years of milestones, favorite moments, dubious headwear, and our own convoluted continuity!

In which we encounter one of comics’ greatest rarities; Spider-Man cannot actually do whatever a spider can; Flash Thompson subscribes to the X-Factor school of child endangerment; alliteration is the source of a very specific sort of powers; Spider-Man is not Phil; guilt is Spider-Man’s greatest motivator; we root for the antagonists; Guido Carosella would be an epic Twitter monster; a lot of people have hung out with the X-Men; and Glob Herman is a lovable, gross mystery.

In which Quicksilver wants you to know that he’s not cool; X-Factor gets a new government liaison; a danger room on a jet is a terrible idea; this team is bad at feelings; Forge is a pretty okay boss; and it remains exceptionally difficult to be Rahne Sinclair.

In which we sit down live at Emerald City Comic Con with writers Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams to talk Age of X-Man, the intergenerational legacy of X-Men, and telling stories in the pauses.

In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.

In which X-Force is the new New Mutants; Professor is what Cable has instead of a burn book; Cable develops emotional literacy; Jay has a lot of feelings about Shatterstar; Cowboys can be wizards, too; you really shouldn’t call adult people “child”; privilege is truly the greatest superpower; Cameron Hodge remains improbably difficult to kill; Candy Southern gets to write the ending to her own story; and Emerald City Comic Con is coming up REALLY fast!

In which there is only one Big Pine Key; Empyrean is actually a pretty sensible dude; the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are ride-or-die; you should probably avoid setting X-Men stories in Phoenix, Arizona; Adam X the X-Treme is the Longshot of the 1990s; Miles adopts a ship; and heteronormativity is why we can’t have nice things.

In which Decimation was kind of sketchy; you should definitely come see us in Seattle; Wolverine has a rough day; Colossus has yet another rough day; Excalibur plans for the future; and Fatal Attractions comes to a close.

In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

In which the Acolytes are pretty terrible; Exodus considers his options; Val Cooper is not wildly trustworthy; Cable uses his words; and people with significant metal implants should probably stop confronting Magneto.

In which X-Men Unlimited begins; Cyclops’s powers remain wildly inconsistent; electromagnetic fields are the gamma rays of the early ‘90s; Siena Blaze should probably take some science courses; Magneto is a complex dude; and the Marvel Universe could really use adequate mental healthcare.

In which we’re still not over Into the Spider-Verse; Excalibur becomes an official X-book; Feron tries to help; Butts are fundamental; we care about the weird stuff; threats are unnecessary; and we were all always already Erik the Red.

In which DC is out of our bailiwick; Random gets around; someone finally makes an explicit reference to disability politics; death has not improved the Chalkers; Strong Guy can’t catch a break; we’re all whole other people; Sienna Blaze has a crayon name; we totally want to play D&D with Evan Skolnick; a trading card does not a memorable character make; and we are 100% here for the mutant episode of Sesame Street.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which tragedy strikes; leisure suits are underappreciated; Jubilee is fundamentally opposed to feelings; that MCU joke would definitely have been hilarious; we have trouble accepting Beast as a 20-something; when Gambit and Rogue work, they work; Wolverine makes an unlikely agony aunt; Dr. Strange was the mentor Illyana Rasputin really needed; and What If: Magik is pretty much a perfect comic. X-PLAINED: The Human High Council Many terrible things that have happened to the Rasputin family Uncanny X-Men #303 X-Men #24 What If: Magik A tonal disconnect Leisure Suit Larry A prospective movie marathon Insecurity Molecular Cohesion Unit The death of Illyana Rasputin (and its aftermath) Death in America A dubious idea for a theme park A reunion Papa Gumbo’s Cajun Cookout Illyana Rasputin and Dr. Strange Navigating vs. erasing trauma Why What If: Magik is absolutely amazing How to cite X-Men volumes Earth-242 (Earth on Fire) NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force. X-PLAINED: Peters Parker The Merry X-Men Holiday Special Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM Uncanny X-Men #301-302 Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting 21st Century Torture Devices Risky mood fonts Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week) Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex Russian tragedy (more, again) Charles Xavier and his poor decisions Shi’ar tech support Pants and villainy Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions TIME PARADOX Weirdly specific contingencies Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury X-Force #24 Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends) Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie Action vs. public perception Vinz Clortho Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is The dramatic return of… well, you know Spacesuit logistics Numerical universe designations Plastic Warlock NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which Cowboy Poet Wolverine is the best Wolverine; the Masters of the Universe basically had Internet Cat names; Miles has an Early Metallica moment; Wolverine: Killing is just ludicrously excellent; and the hawk joke is somehow still going.

In which Havok actually used to be pretty great; there are at least four attorneys in the Marvel Universe; Genosha continues to be wildly problematic; Hieronymus Bosch was not Comics Code-compliant; Quicksilver goes on vacation; Polaris has no time for your love triangle; Wolfsbane can maul as many magistrates as she wants; and Multiple Man makes a choice.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony. X-PLAINED: Vance Astro(vik) Penance (but not that one) Austin Gorton's X-Aminations New Warriors #10 Firestar (Angelica Jones) The New Warriors Visual representations of invisible mutant powers The Hellions (more) (again) Tarot and her Morrisonian powers Bevatrons Oxy-cution The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins The Miracle of Microwaves New Warriors #31 Nova Roma Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess) A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation Empath and his large collection of red flags Gender-based intuition A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon Super-nature versus super-nurture The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full '90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67. X-PLAINED: Origins of Phoenix mythology Excalibur #61-67 The Phoenix Force (more) (again) Rachel Summers (more) (again) Earth-811 (more) (again) Phoenix vs. Galactus A pep talk from Death The One True Phoenix The dark, distant future of 2013 The dark, even more distant future of 2015 The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde Rory Campbell / Ahab What may or may not be Ahab's theme song Moby Dick, kind of That one time Widget was a car Resistance Coordination Executive Dark Angel Killpower Albion Grace Tangerine Arthur An Excalibur #54 callback Excalibur (the gun) Kitty's new image How to hack the robot apocalypse Saved by the Bell: The College Years Where Excalibur should have ended Tactical use of Magneto's hat Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton) Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Dracula probably doesn't drink his blood from a World's Greatest Dad mug; Miles massively underestimates the cultural ubiquity of Sexy Dracula; Bill Sienkiewicz may or may not have ever seen a bat; Kitty gets possessed; and Dazzler is singularly well suited to a Vegas residency. X-PLAINED: Dracula's ungrateful children Marvel Dracula A fortuitously named writer Rachel Van Helsing X-Men #159 (again) (briefly) Sexy Dracula The secret origin of sexy Draculas Fastball Special body mechanics X-Men Annual #6 A nightmare "Bats" Yet another Castle Dracula The Montesi Formula Sound effects, spoken or otherwise Lilith Chairs The relative efficacy of holy symbols against Dracula X-Vegas Characters we have grown to love as a result of the podcast NEXT EPISODE: Fix the future! Check out the visual companion to this episode--along with Jay's convention sketches--on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins. X-PLAINED: How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers X-Cutioner's Song fallout An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons X-Men #20-23 How not to repair an airplane One way to get out of an awkward conversation Several Betsys Braddock Revanche Dubiously organized crime Kwannon Nyorin's diary Awkward family conversations Mike Milbury Twin Peaks Season 3 Akira Yoshida NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase "face jam"; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar's hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit. X-PLAINED: A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did Several cats X-Force #20-23 The Externals (more) (again) A deeply unlikely hairstyle Graymalkin / Ship / Professor A somewhat one-sided reunion Yahoos Inaccurate arithmetic Why Feral sounds like that Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry War Machine (James Rhodes) Salvage Sam Guthrie's long trail of dead father figures Shatterstar How to fight an External The seventh plague What Domino's been up to Hammer's mom Tigerstryke (more) (again) Sluggo (but not that Sluggo) Learning to appreciate the '90s NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we approach the end of Alan Davis's Excalibur run; "duopenultimate" is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart's death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats' good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire. X-PLAINED: Warpies Excalibur #61-65 The Jaspers Warp (more) (again) The RCX (more) (again) Agents Gabriel and Michael What happened to Jay's mom's Hypercolor™ T-shirt What not to do with a dead parrot Several Hamlet references Scott Wright (MicroMax) The Cherubim Cloud Nine Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe) Warpie naming conventions Beetroot Screen tone An idiom Evasive makeouts A specific thing on The Gifted Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay recruits X-writers Seanan McGuire and Leah Williams, cosplayer Tea Fougner, and innocent bystanders Kel McDonald and Diana Fox, for a night of Emma Frost appreciation. X-PLAINED: Why Emma Frost is amazing; why we love her; and why you should, too. NEXT EPISODE: Return of the RCX! WHITE QUEEN COCKTAIL RECIPE: Combine: 1.5 oz gin .5 oz rose elderflower syrup Splash of elixir vegetal Prosecco to fill glass Top off with: Smoke bitters No visual companion this week! Go read some comics about Emma Frost! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which X-Cutioner's Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill. X-PLAINED: Jay & Miles at VVCBF Uncanny X-Men #298-300 The Acolytes (more) (again) The Upstarts (more) (again) Several important lessons A very fancy room A very fancy brain The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander The all-new, all-different Acolytes Carmella Unuscione The return of one of our favorite antagonists A sick burn The fate of Asteroid M Molting A debate Graydon Creed (more) (again) The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly How to lose a debate with Joe Biden A large number of prescient political references Friends of Humanity How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate Noah DuBois Fatale A generic rural mob Milan A narratively convenient superpower Amelia Voght Seamus Mellencamp Neophyte The gospel of Magneto A joyous reunion The helmet that wouldn't die Ponytail ethics Timelust Several accents The current state of Rogue's powers NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it sucks to be a Rasputin; X-Men and Uncanny X-Men muddy the waters; Cyclops and Psylocke's weird flirtation somehow manages to get even more awkward; Colossus has a long series of bad days; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival. X-PLAINED: An atypical curriculum Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival X-Men #17-19 What Colossus and Magik have been up to X-Men title disambiguation The terrible fate of the town of Neftelensk Blind Faith (Alexi Garnov) Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna) Darkstar Beard auras Cathartic interdimensional landscaping Flagwatch 113 Red Flag 113 An awkward encounter The Soul Skinner The tactical value of cute little ears Dubious cold-weather apparel Jude the Obscure Weaponized angst An inopportune coloring error Lack of pants Whether Pyro could control Jubilee's "fireworks" How to enjoy dated comics NEXT EPISODE: Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which Dr. Andrea Letamendi of Arkham Sessions joins us to analyze some analysis; Doc Samson has major scope-of-practice issues; Ren & Stimpy references continue to fail to age well; it's hard to be Quicksilver; Val Cooper is not your friend; Polaris pretty much always deserves better; Charles Xavier should not be allowed to inhabit positions of power; and labels are often not the best tools for good representations of mental illness and neurodivergence. X-PLAINED: A very high-stakes 3-D puzzle X-Factor #87 Doc Samson Making talking heads interesting Wolfsbane's relationship to pop culture Appropriate boundaries Several remarkable fashion choices Pietro Maximoff in perspective Therapeutic assessment vs. intervention The extremely tragic backstory of Jamie Madrox Imposter syndrome A brief history of Polaris's brushes with possession A really poorly planned and presented sequence Consequences of armchair diagnosis Interactions of telepathy and psychology Legion as a portrayal of mental illness Writing mental illness in fiction NEXT EPISODE: Rasputin Family Reunion! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we finally emerge from the other side of X-Cutioner's Song; rich people are different from us; Brian Braddock is probably not comfortable with menstruation; Dai Thomas cleans up pretty well; someone FINALLY remembers Sat-Yr-9; Psylocke knows how to defend herself from a man armed with a banana; the (non-Internet) trolls return; and we are fairly sure that Gambit does not actually speak French. X-PLAINED: Winzeldorf Excalibur (so far) Excalibur #55-58 Lip massage The death of Alysande Stuart A banana fight Alchemy (again) Many trolls A fairly joyous reunion The Brussels Sewer Museum A fake heel turn Our hopes and worries for the New Mutants movie Comics covers NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Therapy, with Guest X-Pert Dr. Andrea Letamendi! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which "wolves" proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner's Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit's powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay's penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every "WHAT?!" you hear on this show is fresh and original. X-PLAINED: Wolves, to a very limited extent Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC Transcripts X-Cutioner's Song Stryfe's Strike File Uncanny X-Men #297 X-Force #19 A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation Shades of me Shades of you Shades of them Our first-ever music challenge Some foreshadowing Nostalgia A very nice hug The one good side effect of Stryfe's technoorganic virus Charles Xavier vs. disability politics Several practical jokes in very poor taste Teacher-student bonding An excellent epithet Some lettering choices An extended Hail Caesar riff The Clooney Scale An enduring mystery Clone powers Exclamatory logistics NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur? MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe's Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner's Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to 'em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Leah dives headfirst into the world of con panels; Magdalene will burn down your idols; Sina is a fashion icon; none of the X-Men are straight (but they do share a sweater); you can't spell "gay sex" without X; and we are all very, VERY in love with FlameCon. Special thanks to Sina, Mags, Leah, Matt, Maya, Tea, Anna, the Discord crowd, and all our amazing listeners and patrons! NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe's Burn Book! Check out some of our FlameCon photos and sketches on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which nobody but Stryfe's diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner's Song finally concludes. X-PLAINED: How Cable dies The Story So Far Still more trading-card taxonomy Uncanny X-Men #296 X-Factor #86 X-Men #16 X-Force #18 An AU we'd like to read The not-Stüssy S How to effectively reference X-Men #137 A decoy baby An abortive escape Moon gravity Revelatory vandalism A trip to the moon A probably excessive number of hawk facts Various daring rescues How to kill time in space Cathexes A very fancy moon base The cavalry, kind of Stryfe vs. Cable An X-Cellent epilogue Several Silent Hill 2 references Stryfe's Legacy Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel Sexy high-security prisons of the future NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams! Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode's cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay's gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe's real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music. X-PLAINED: Kuurth Various Juggernauts The Story So Far More trading-card taxonomy Uncanny X-Men #295 X-Factor #85 X-Men #15 X-Force #17 Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love What happened Good Cop / Sleazy Cop A deal A tragic absence of Draculas The Coen Brothers' X-Cutioner's Song Thanksgiving with Cable Miles's summer camp hijinks Murderbots in space (again) A dubious strategy MLF Redshirts The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space A dropped plot thread Things you shouldn't do on space stations Additional awkward reunions Whether Stryfe is a Summers The X-Cutioner's signature karaoke song NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner's Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential '90s crossover event begins! X-PLAINED: The Black Bug Room A good deal of pre-event status quo Uncanny X-Men #294 X-Factor #84 X-Men #14 X-Force #16 Trading card taxonomy The opening strains of a crossover event A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice An abduction Several attempted murders A large number of awkward reunions An even larger number of inter-team brawls Two villains pretending to be other villains Cape logistics Peak Cable Many pouches Many guns The origin of Hope Summers Our hopes for mutants in the MCU NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no. NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said "X-Force" when he actually meant "X-Factor." If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot). Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we welcome Marvel editor Jordan D. White to the podcast to talk about the current state of the X-Universe! X-PLAINED: The cosmic luck balance Mr. Dapples A remarkable concurrence of luck Our FlameCon live show lineup What an X-Men group editor does How X-books happen Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe Shatterstar Jordan's history with X-Men Uncanny X-Men: First Class Wolverine: First Class Whether Deadpool is an X-Man (No.) Mercurial mutancy What defines the X-Men Queer X-characters (and their absence) Problematic namesakes Sailors X Drawing lines on social media Why to read modern X-Men Uncanny X-Men NEXT EPISODE: X-CUTIONER'S SONG BEGINS! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you. X-PLAINED: Jay & Miles at FlameCon Advantages of recording remotely X-Factor #81-83 What Genosha's been up to Prodigal An impassioned speech An unfortunate accident Yet another return(ish) of Sauron Chain of command Lukas Pirouette Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants Phantazia (again) Immovable vs. unstoppable What you do on a boat Taylor When Havok still cared "The Mutant Rap" Adventures in New York How to bond with Quicksilver An angry mob A derailed storyline The ignominious death of Rick Chalker Our opinions on the revolving door of death X-Men vs. electronics Superheroes from the Balkans Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Miles has a Dracula problem; we are really, really excited about FlameCon; Fabian Nicieza is the unsung hero of the early '90s; Jay doesn't explain the Iranian Hostage Crisis; Cable does not have a good history with trademark disputes; Cable: Blood and Metal is secretly an allegory for the X-books of the early 1990s; friendship and explosions don't have to be mutually exclusive; and history evokes but doesn't quite repeat itself. X-PLAINED: Dracula disambiguation One way to stop a vampire invasion Wang beams Cable: Blood and Metal #1-2 The continuing miracle that is Fabian Nicieza Cable (as established in 1992) Stryfe The Wild Pack and/or Six Pack The ongoing evolution of John Romita, Jr. Tolliver Several heists of varying quality Numerous patches and their contents How the Wild Pack became the Six Pack An idiom, examined A total dick move Muscles-and-guns power creep Guns of tomorrow The McNinja point A brief flirtation with Magic: The Gathering A typo that became canon The new She-Ra The new, improved Garrison Kane European nipple lasers Mr. Richter The evolution of Cable NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn't like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending. X-PLAINED: Evil Shadowcats Jay & Miles at FlameCon Excalibur #51, 52, and 54 A brief history of Excalibur The Phoenix Force A recap of a recap What this episode isn't covering Lizard Excalibur The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse Several long-ago Halloween costumes Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476 National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha Earth-99476 and its Savage Land The Fantastic Five A vow of vengeance Feron as an antecedent to Kubark Alan Davis's modern authorial counterpart A telepathic journey The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991) Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof) The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers Several retcons yet to come Jean Grey's inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force A mysterious disappearance What the Crazy Gang has been up to The nicest kind of twist A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer Differentiating X-teams The X-Plain Discord Strong Guy's new hobby NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon's wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it's probably impossible to explain Joseph too much. X-PLAINED: The secret origin of Gideon How to get deported from Latveria Marvel en français X-Force #11-15 Some gratuitous posturing Pico What the actual Domino has been up to One hell of an outfit Peacock powers Crule A comical mix-up A somewhat radical cosmology A very dramatic strike force Tygerstryke X-Force post-Liefeld Weapon P.R.I.M.E. A four-page spread A fight for one is a fight for all Vance Astro The death of Copycat Things only Cable and Domino could do Joseph (more) (again) Marvel style and its evolution NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which Jay runs away to Latveria (but Hub is here to save the day!); you shouldn't eat the brown promethium; Magneto and Cap fight over the world's tiniest man; Rom is somewhat set in his ways; all anyone in the 616 really wants out of a disguise is plausible deniability; and Hub was inside your heart all along (and you might want to see a doctor about that). X-PLAINED: Several Limbos Captain America Annual #4 Captain America vs. Magneto The return of the theoretical Magnetostache The Great Mutant Massacre (but not that one) Drunk-at-a-wedding Magneto Mister One Mister Two Ghost Writer Peeper Lifter Burner Slither Shocker Skin suffocation Rom #17-18 The Toy Collector Dick Warlock, revisited, more, again Bill Mantlo Rom: Spaceknight Dire Wraiths The secret lives of inanimate objects Brandy Clark and Steve Jackson Jacob the Dire Wraith and His No-Good Son Jimmy The smell of evil Swiss army eyeballs Sidekicks for the Transformers NEXT EPISODE: The Return of Rictor! Special thanks to Emergency Back-Up Cohost Hub of Titan Up the Defense! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love. X-PLAINED: Marrow’s internal organs The post-Image Exodus era Judging books by their covers Uncanny X-Men #291-293 Sexy dead girls (again) The Morlock leadership vacuum A significant Callisto personality retcon Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard Science Made Stupid Storm’s claustrophobia (again) MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood 90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic The Br’er Rabbit Technique Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers Bobby Drake’s potential Morlock organizational techniques Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan Jean Grey’s real talk The Home for Infinite Losers Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector Copyright law and Fair Use Queer headcanon X-beards NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which music is dangerous and confusing, Jamie Madrox has a weakness for femmes fatale, the term "f-holes" makes Miles turn 12, and we bid a fond farewell to Larry Stroman. X-PLAINED: That time Havok was the nexus of all realities How to get to Florida, Magneto style X-Factor #79-81 Lesser-used applications of super-speed Rhapsody (Rachel Argosy) Mutant late bloomers The surprising convenience and safety of fictional shop windows Excalibur-weird vs. X-Factor-weird Tiny cellos The worst kid in the neighborhood A creative use of mutant powers Whether Madrox creates duplicates during sex (again) Astral wheat fields Musical manslaughter Sean Young (who is decidedly not Catwoman) Hell's Belles Rahne's World Polaris's body image issues Beefiness disambiguation Wolfsbane's conditional poker face Cyber (Silas Burr) Strong Guy, who just works here, man Alex Summers, inspiring and/or deceptive authority figure Bringing back the classics (and when not to) The surprisingly homogenous Multiverse NEXT EPISODE: Mikhail Rasputin ruins everything. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don't; and plasma is the new magnetism. X-PLAINED: Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants Fontanelle Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men An upcoming event X-Men #10-13 A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche Those who like to go both ways A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed Several of Cyclops's uncoolest Dad moments Zima Moist Alley Mojo II: The Sequel The Image exodus Mojonium™ An announcement Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616 A Maverick adventure Alexander Ryking The other Xavier File Warhawk The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research A poorly defined power set Technicolor skeletons When and where paper was invented A likely-irrelevant pattern The devil who haunts Stryfe's dreams Some non-X Marvel recommendations Rusty Collins's codename NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we celebrate a major milestone with the coolest person ever to work on the X-books and look back at the last four-plus years of the podcast; and nobody ends up on trial at the Hague. NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a much-needed vacation. NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men take the fight to Mojoworld! Check out our blog for links to the stuff we discussed in this episode! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it's hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out. X-PLAINED: Astra Content-to-story ratio The Mojoverse (more) (again) Longshot Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven) Spiral (Ricochet Rita) Arize X-Men Annual #1 Uncanny X-Men Annual #16 X-Factor Annual #10 X-Force Annual #1 A pivotal battle Mujahideen A callback Several denizens of Mojoworld X-Team disambiguation The Death Sponsors A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario Whether Arize is a mutant Telepathic favoritism Spiral's origin story A new regime Earth-84309 Powerpax (Frankie Power) Darkchild Cyberlock A metasingularity A large number of back-up features The X-Men's top ten enemies Amalgam (but not that one) Darick Robertson's juvenilia The return of Taki The Cable Protocols Brazilian Marvel characters Our feelings about Laura Kinney's backstory NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts. X-PLAINED: Invisible Boy Human heralds of Galactus Excalibur Special Editions Excalibur: Air Apparent Excalibur: XX Crossing Dr. Jonothon Cayre Norm the LMD Lava pits of Scotland Some dubious herpetology Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7) Robert Cop Special Man Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam A cosmic explosion Captain Britain's extra costume Sidestep An exceptionally awkward job interview A counterintuitive plan The other time-displaced X-Men The best version of Angel Angel's third-greatest nemesis Gladiator Hank A very fancy vest The best Excalibur Special Edition The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy Warlock vs. gender Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information! NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Wolverine is an eternal teenager; most of what Jay knows about Hawaii comes from Lilo and Stitch; Shiv is a complicated fellow; Nightcrawler represents an unattainable beauty standard; the Easter Bunny flies at dawn; Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure is delightful; Logan inadvertently starts a cult; Gahk does as she pleases; Jay and Miles are going to FlameCon; and we are all now Honkers forever. X-PLAINED: What Bloodscream and Roughouse have been up to Albert and Elsie Dee An unorthodox vocal warm-up Wolverine: Bloody Choices Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure The Wolverine formula Kamehameha Day (which Jay mispronounced; sorry!) Mr. Bullfinch Mr. Kapeland Shiv Doc Corbel Nick Fury's penmanship How retail works Secret agents, maybe A stimulating combination Karate pants A darker, grittier version of the Easter bunny Wolverine's apocryphal childhood Characters who can pull off the Wolverine hairstyle Don Adams as Wolverine Win/win murder scenarios Two adult men discussing their feelings Honkers Cargo cults The Tribe of Fire Gahck Some romance A Spiny Honker The Honker of Doom Pit traps, with and without shallow holes A dastardly but ineffectual plot Apocalypse, kind of One of Wolverine's many kids (who may or may not be Erista) Jay & Miles at FlameCon 2018 How to get us at your local convention Reading comics with Miles's dad Seriously, though: honkers NEXT EPISODE: Even more Excaliburs Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which space bugs break time; you may already be a member of Excalibur; Earth-616 remains somewhat baffled by basic telecommunications technology; you should absolutely not order monkeys from an ad in a comic book; Widget gets a new look; Excalibur gets a new logo; Merlin X-Plains everything; and Rachel gets in touch with her roots. X-PLAINED: The Timebroker Excalibur #48-50 What "fair use" doesn't mean Penis bones, revisited Feron Prophylactic levitation Several inaccurate flashbacks Someone who is neither a Nazi nor Charles Xavier Necrom (again) The art of heroic exposition Monastic population maintenance Mail-order monkeys Widget's new look Kylun's mutant power Several alternate Excaliburs The True Secret Purpose of Excalibur The new Excalibur logo Fighting weird with weird A whole lot of history Phoenix vs. Anti-Phoenix Some very epic thwarting The end of an era Alan Davis's Excalibur How we work alternate timelines into coverage Bishop and Deathbird as a couple NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure and Bloody Choices! UPDATE: Apparently the dead mail-order monkeys were apocryphal, although we were able to dig up some fairly nightmarish accounts of live mail-order monkeys. ...Yay? Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable's legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles's grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget. X-PLAINED: Brother Mutant X-Force #8-10 X-Force (again) A protracted flashback The Wild and/or Six Pack A heist A trap Yet more Ed Wood references A future The Professor (Ship) Gratuitous face shadows A mystery Cable casting Several misplaced word balloons The logistics of tentacle arms The High Lords (Externals) Michael Bay's Johnny Got His Gun General Clark and his diving suit Good Magneto stories How to get your dad into X-Men NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit's past catches up with him; it's always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow. X-PLAINED: The Tithe The Momentary Princess The T'ieves Guild Why real New Orleans doesn't have catacombs X-Men #8-9 Ghost Rider #26-27 The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage Genesis The last of the X-Men A sick burn A picnic Boundaries Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes Ghost Rider Psegway Julian Boudreaux How not to respond to a speeding ticket The Bootie Man Horse names vs. katana names Cathartic excess X-holidays Doomsday Good characters from awful events NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can't tie bow ties; Iceman's dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it. X-PLAINED: Whether Professor Xavier is dead Marvel time vs. podcast time Uncanny X-Men #287-290 The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy A dance of death and destruction Styglut Future flashbacks Sewers of tomorrow The Witness "Fun" Blood math A mysterious letter A terrible date Several capes The return of the cyburai A theoretical Hackers crossover NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Alan Davis's Excalibur is a spiritual sibling to The Muppet Show; Captain Britain gets a Captain Britain lesson; Opal Luna Saturnyne has no time for your nonsense; Meggan and Rachel take a brief detour into a Hammer film; Earth-148 is extra heroic; no member of Excalibur will ever use a bathroom in peace; Cerise joins the team; Technet embraces the future; and the end of the world is nigh. X-PLAINED: Pixie's powers and parentage Several eccentricities of Jay's apartment Excalibur #45-47 Earth-148 (Ee'rath) Comics pacing vs. podcast pacing Technet (more) (again) Amelia Witherspoon and several references related thereto The N-Men How to Captain Britain The multiversal significance of the lighthouse A portentous chess game A particularly aggressive retcon The return of the Neuri The real Meggan Necrom A heroic death The true curse of Excalibur Some very specific citations A reunion Kylun (Colin McKay) A blessed event Cerise Whether Rogue can control Cyclops's powers Laura Kinney's upcoming reversion to X-23 NEXT EPISODE: Bishop joins the X-Men! ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT UPDATE: The wall on which Jay was attempting to mount a desk turned out to be plaster over sheetrock. Office plans are being revised accordingly. Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which writer Kelly Thompson joins us to talk Rogue and Gambit; Antarctica is Earth's answer to the Blue Area of the Moon; Kelly unfreezes one of the great X-romances; Rogue has walked a mile in everyone's shoes; you should probably not take romantic cues from fictional characters; Gambit should always wear hot pink; and continuity is fundamentally messy. X-PLAINED: What happened in Antarctica The Trial of Gambit Rogue and Gambit Narrative tension vs. growth Dueling accents Kelly's defining Rogue and Gambit stories The cool-versus-creepy line Making deep cuts accessible The evolution of Rogue The future of the X-line Favorite costumes Equal-opportunity objectification Fundamental contradictions of continuity Hawkeye team-ups Date night with Rogue and Gambit MTV's Are You the One RomCom hybrids NEXT EPISODE: Meet the N-Men! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which the term "bloodlust" shows up a lot in popular culture; Wolverine pees between panels; Michael Higgins has a lot to answer for; Jay wants to fight a comic book; Nightcrawler's limbs have never seemed more potent; Florida kids don't understand basements; and Doug Ramsey didn't die for this. X-PLAINED Chaos War Destiny's diaries Wolverine: Bloodlust Excalibur: The Possession Bloodlust Several approaches to sound effects The greatest sound effect Perfect binding Several men who may or may not be Santa Claus The Christmas spirit Saskia The Hair Some varyingly graphic murders The Alshra The Neuri Wendigo rules Adamantium vs. healing factor Where Wolverine pees A statement of enmity Potent limbs Mr. Kaplan Weird happenings A man who is very obviously Merlin Some pedagogy An unfavorable Ed Wood comparison The Changeling (again) X-Force P.R. Space bros NEXT EPISODE: Romance and Banter with Kelly Thompson! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which Jay's mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable's pouches are definitely full of menstrual products. X-PLAINED: The Franklin Richards of Earth X The One True Cable X-Force #5-7 Pocket-Size Juggernaut A novel approach to trauma surgery A moment of intersectionality Teeth of the early '90s Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh A villain speech X-Force's bathtub Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes Cooking with Boom Boom Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the "Evil" in their name Thornn (Lucia Callasantos) Phantazia Writers vs. Scripters Sex Ed at the Xavier School The Worst Twitter Thread NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.) Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

In which Jay makes a sartorial switch; Hope Summers is less confusing than you might expect; we are very happy to present our first all-artist convention special; Ramon kills his idols; Rachelle deciphers the past; Bret (re)defines New Mutants; a long-time mystery is resolved; colorists deserve more respect; the Xavier School probably has an actual curriculum; and a lot of X-Men have really cool hair. X-PLAINED: The adventures of Hope Summers Several Phoenix hosts The time Quentin Quire became a Shi'ar god Jay's mom Our panelists' definitive X-Men E for Extinction Killing your idols Coloring as archaeology Visually defining the X-Men New Mutants that might have been Favorite costumes The actual color of Storm's '90s costume Editorial direction vs. editorial mandate Practical considerations in costume design Actual education at the Xavier School Wolverine's assorted children The best hair in the X-Men NEXT EPISODE: Cannonball dies (briefly)! No visual companion to this one, but check out the first part of our ECCC gallery over on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Lee Forrester deserved better; we have somehow made 187 of these; Bizarre Adventures is accurately named; the Grey sisters do not steal a yacht; trite jerks are doubly offensive; Black Panther is everything and you should go see it right now; Namor has a type; Attuma reads like an import from Game of Thrones; Florida is the Australia of North America; Iceman has a good weekend; half of the Vanisher materializes in Poughkeepsie; and Jay's mom is the best Cable. X-PLAINED: What Lee Forester has been up to How this happened Bizarre Adventures #27 The not-particularly-secret lives of the X-Men Jay's Book of Irrelevant Headcanon "The Brides of Attuma" Sara Grey Several incidents in the life of Jean Grey A plan as ineffectual as it is dastardly "Winter Carnival" "Titan Up the Defense" The peculiar predominance of ice sculpture in the Marvel Universe Bubba The Apple Profile Festive bandits A heist A very fancy cane "Show Me the Way to Go Home" Nightcrawler's favorite movie The Count Duckula theme song Some very friendly ladies ECCC cosplay Sev the Oracle Whether Buffy is a Summers sibling Whom we would merge with cosmic forces The Queen of Nevers NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which you are the wind beneath our wings; Sunfire doesn't quit the team even once; the X-Men do "Judgment War," kinda; Iceman's clothes are mostly incidental; Mikhail Rasputin is a surprisingly accomplished vintner; Colossus has a bad day; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau is a core value; and we are REALLY excited about our plans for Emerald City Comic Con! X-PLAINED: Colossus vs. Breakworld Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con Uncanny X-Men #284-286 "Judgment War"-Lite Byrne burns The collective noun for Edidins Sunfire's new threads The evolution of Whilce Portacio Emma Frost's dropped plot threads Iceman fashion (or lack thereof) Sha-har-a-zath The Savior A mysterious vintner Archangel's hair Mikhail Rasputin Space-Person disambiguation Peril and the vanquishing thereof The continuing adventures of the XSE Chuck Cherkle Sara Gray's unrealized potential The Great Excalibur Bake-Off NEXT EPISODE: Bizarre Adventures #127 COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON, MARCH 1-4, IN SEATTLE! Find links to the stories mentioned in this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which All-New Wolverine and X-Men Red writer Tom Taylor joins us to talk friendship, heroism, pelican statues, and how to build on legacy without being bogged down by it. X-PLAINED The epic awesomeness of Gabrielle Kinney All-New Wolverine The evolution of Best Wolverine Character-first story Family X-Men Red Finding Jean Grey's voice Gentle (Nezhno Abidemi) Transcending the Silver Age Laura Kinney in Logan Wolverine-style brain surgery Editing down to the bones Tom's comfort reads Secret origins of Tom Taylor Writing like a street performer Koalas vs. reavers NEXT EPISODE: The Boringest Rasputin Find links to the stories mentioned in this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

David is still on vacation. Please enjoy this reasonable gentleman and his fancy accoutrements! In which the 616 was inside Age of X all along; everyone is very sassy; an attempt at political commentary falls very flat; Wolfsbane kills a straw man; everything is better with Larry Stroman; the Rule of Cool is not transitive; X-Factor Quicksilver is the best Quicksilver; and some allegories are subtler than others. X-PLAINED: How to hide a universe Bees "War and Pieces" X-Factor #76-78 The Incredible Hulk #390-392 Open-ended vs. trade pacing Rick Jones, professional tag-along Trans-Sabal The Eisenhower Doctrine The Reagan Doctrine The ethics of cannibalism Fictional pigeon aficionados As story that isn't about abortion but is definitely about abortion X-Factor vs. due process A very hazardous game of tug-of-war Gratuitous X-planation An unnecessary but well-intended rescue attempt The death of Vic Chalker Irresponsible parenting The second generation of mutants NEXT EPISODE: Tom Taylor talks X-Men Red and All-New Wolverine! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other's company. In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn't seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers. X-PLAINED: Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse Creative use of teleportation X-Modifiers Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con X-Men vol. 2 #4-7 The sitcom model of creative logistics One way to bring someone back to life Mutant Death Factor Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich) Wolverine's school pictures Gambit's ponytail and the logistics thereof Sex at the X-Mansion Fenris fashion Ritualistic facepalming Moira MacTaggert's nightmares Formalwear and motorcycle safety An elegantly choreographed cockblock Retracting tentacle logistics Carbonadium synthesizers Dr. Pepper Twizzlers Ponytails as moral compasses Sabretooth's excellent taste in formalwear Ornithology Those big, weird tube handcuff things Cyclops and Wolverine's eventual friendship The return of Longshot What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood Some X-Cellent fanfiction X-details we'd change NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk! Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Alan Davis spins dangling plot threads into gold; comics artists are storytellers; Technet is a feature, not a bug; Brian Braddock's issues reach their boiling point; if you're going to learn about Earth from TV, you should probably stick with PBS; and our Lila Cheney t-shirts are officially canon! X-PLAINED: An unlikely alliance Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con Alan Davis's return to Excalibur Excalibur #42-44 Breakfast with Excalibur Hard-Boiled Henry Horatio Cringebottom Bert Earth-148 (Ee'rath) Kylun (Colin McKay) Unlikely houseguests A romance A fracas The trial of Captain Britain Multiversal moral relativity Micromax (Scott Wright) Lunch with Technet Why public television funding is important How Shadowcat's phasing interacts with extreme temperatures Our opinions on X-Men: Gold Annual #1 NEXT EPISODE: Omega Red! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which X-Force is the cotton candy of comics; Jay & Miles overanalyze; eye spots are not the new domino masks; Feral is all about some murder; Black Tom and Juggernaut remain a delightful criminal power couple; Siryn's costume is on point; over the edge is where we live; Jay gets briefly and intensely into Todd McFarlane; nothing will convince us that Fabian Nicieza did not know exactly what he was doing; and Kelly Thompson is a national treasure. X-PLAINED: Rumekistan X-Force #1-4 Spider-Man #16 Leaping, both literal and metaphorical Cannonball Boom Boom Cable Domino Warpath Feral Shatterstar Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) (again) MLF The second and third-best-selling issues of all time The Profit$ A very violent catchphrase Chalet Shwartzkopf Power Poses™ with Gideon™ The All-New, All-Different Weapon X (Garrison Kane) 6-Pack Good vs. Awesome George Washington Bridge A moment so dramatic that it produces a second Shatterstar in a single panel Some sports stuff, kind of Uncomfortable anachronism The stylistic necessity of healing factors Marvel Unlimited view options Rogue and Gambit NEXT EPISODE: The not remotely triumphant return of Technet! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner. X-PLAINED: The Chronomancer and his Chronobots The Gifted Lucas Bishop's creative origins Trevor Fitzroy Goatee Theory X-Factor #67 Uncanny X-Men #281-283 Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw A briefly useful mnemonic Cybernetic fuckboys The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III's hair Beef and Bevatron The deaths of the Hellions Warhammer Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the '90s Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight Bantam A bunch of bad guys from the future Bishop Randall Malcolm Earth-1191 The Gamemaster X-Men we'd like to see come out as trans (revisited) Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which X-Factor gets a revamp; Larry Stroman is the best part of 1991; Havok used to have principles; Multiple Man is his own worst enemy; Jay's Doonesbury knowledge finally becomes relevant; Strong Guy breaks the Washington Monument; and Val Cooper may or may not have married Mister Sinister. X-PLAINED: The Madrox who got away Alan Disambiguation The X-Factor that might have been X-Factor #71-75 Banter™ A small selection of a gratuitously large volume of pop-culture references An evil individual One of the many deaths of Multiple Man Larry Stroman extras Professor Vic Chalker A Sinister scheme The iteration of X-Factor most likely to end up naked on television Your real-life Jamie Madrox reference GeeCees A canonical Doonesbury reference One way to get out of writing a term paper The proper plural of Madrox Ricochet The Nasty Boys Death by irony The evolution of Magik's Soul Sword Why female superheroes rarely date civilian men Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence. X-PLAINED: Loa The 1991 relaunch of X-Men X-Men vol. 2 #1-3 Chris Claremont's departure from Marvel X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men Blue Team Gold Team Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont's vision for the X-Men Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1 How comics sales are counted Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1 A space fight Revision vs. reversion What may or may not be in Nick Fury's pouches Daring loungewear worn well Fabian Cortez Flatscans Disproportionate escalation The Acolytes Delgado, kind of, maybe Several notable absences The Magneto Protocols That one time Magneto got turned into a baby Some dubious science A semi-invisible plane Code Silver Further miracles of magnetism Producer Matt Hunter Chiptunes Podcasting about video games The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence Best X-Toon holiday episodes NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job! Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you're doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA! X-PLAINED: The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men VHS tapes Blockbuster KidPrint Mariano Nicieza Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs A man who may or may not be D-Man Terrence Why Cable should deliver more PSAs Why D.A.R.E. doesn't work Varying coherent cautionary tales The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas A tragic lack of carnies Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas Big Tex Activities Smokescreen Bret Jackson Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency The South Side Social Club Jake Etiquette of following teenagers around A villainous plan so ineffective that it's actually kind of sad X-Men you should hire for your PSAs Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger Where to find Bloodstorm Baby Jumping NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special! LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to XPlaintheXMen@gmail.com with the subject PSA by December 27! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we were on public radio; it's probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn't seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams. X-PLAINED: Wolverine's CIA contacts Murder-related birthday traditions Wolverine #48-50 The ship Righteous Indignation and the 'ship Righteous Indignation Wolverine size creep Injudicious footwear Serial sidekicks Miles's continual failure to watch The Prisoner The Summers Crash model of flashbacks Panties and/or grenades Several varyingly reliable flashbacks How memory works Mastodon Andre How memory doesn't really work Kids' toy licensing Quasimodo's hangout Women in Refrigerators Secret agent skills The Dalton school of argument A legitimately cool cover gimmick Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier Adamantium handicrafts Shiva (but not that one) Silver Fox (again) (kind of) A cataclysmic memory backlash Antarctic X-Hijinks Jay & Miles's adventures in YOUR DREAMS NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner's girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator's trope--not Hal Jordan's, as Jay stated in this episode. You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man's Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine's WWII adventures. X-PLAINED: Why Gambit isn't welcome in the United Kingdom X-Men: True Friends #1-3 The poor man's Alan Davis Trad night Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality Inexplicably absent familial relationships Queen Lilibet the Second Lady Regina Windermere Several notable British fascists of the 1930s A snazzy airplane Several nefarious plots Formal pajamas The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer Kitty Pryde's best costumes Weaponized cosmic queerness (again) Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga How characters end up with their specific mutations. NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again. You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay sits down with cartoonist Ed Piskor to talk about the upcoming X-Men: Grand Design! NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Gal Pals! The visual companion to this episode can be found in X-Men: Grand Design #1, available from your local comics shop this December! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; "slightly traumatized" is basically the default state of Xavier's original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey. X-PLAINED: X-Men: Red Namor's beard The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga Uncanny X-Men #280 X-Factor #70. Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy Off-brand Magneto hats Literary terrors of our childhoods Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.) Casual use of nuclear weaponry The cavalry The end of the Shadow King The most dysfunctional timeline Uncanny X-Men #200-278 The case for an eclectic X-Universe X-Campus Resurrections, and when they do and don't work NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor's Grand Design The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay's lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay? (Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.) Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase "fist-o-rama"; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon. X-PLAINED: Universes where people are other people What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free) The Muir Island Saga (Part 1) Uncanny X-Men #278-279 X-Factor #69 Teflon continuity Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki An alternate timeline Corpse telepathy A diabolical plan, sort of Topicality Theft Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert Improbable aerodynamics The greatest thing The death of Peter Nicholas The uncanny genital valley Interesting ways to expand Cyclops's powers X-Pokémon NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes! ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!) You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which 1991 runs right into 2010, X-Factor: Endgame (and everything after it) never happened, Jay covets the hell out of Cyclops's X-Factor: Forever jacket, Apocalypse’s alternative universe motives are actually pretty fascinating, and Miles will never call his junk Traitorous Unit. X-PLAINED: The Strucker siblings (and the Strucker siblings) X-Factor Forever #1-5 Earth-TRN237 What makes a good Forever comic The best jacket in the X-universe (and some other redesigns) MaXimum pants Ship the ship The Celestial Host Dan Panosian’s Smug Apocalypse The Master Meld variations Force versus heat (and art versus word balloons) En Sabah Nur, thoughtful employer Gammenon the Gatherer and honey-related implements Combat (and podcasting) maneuver names The Apocalypse Journal Eternals versus Deviants versus Inferior, Shitty Humans Slow, crappy science and adorable mutant rats Mutant fertility Arishem the Judge and his magic space-thumb Definitive versions of characters and their relationships En Sabah Nur and Your Changing Body That time X-Factor threw a baby at a robot to save the world DC Comics’s Hellfire Club Trans X-Men But no seriously that jacket NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, part 1 You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Miles speculates about superheroes' sex lives; Doctor Doom is an incorrigible scamp; the Lady of the Lake visits California; Captain Britain lacks basic superheroic social skills; Jay has strong feelings about doggerel; the warwolves know how to commit to a bit; and Excalibur and the X-Men continue to have terrible communication skills. X-PLAINED: One aspects of doombot functionality Excalibur #37-41 The Soul Sword's origins and current status Promethium Semantic disambiguation with regards to Limbo The West Coast Avengers The Lady of the Swimming Pool Doctor Doom's personal demons Several team-ups The heart of Limbo Phoenix science Darkoth the Demon (Desmond Pitt) The Trial of Lockheed A long-awaited reunion that isn't actually a long-awaited reunion A theoretical Frost-Summers wedding What happened to Jen Askani post- "Endgame" NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Justin Thyme is a forgotten superstar of comics; Nazis should pretty much never be used as a metaphor; Charles Xavier is somehow even worse than usual; Excalibur may lack object permanence; Phoenix defeats Hitler with the power of gayness; we may have hit Peak Nocenti; Brett Blevins should draw Boom Boom forever; and the New Mutants get a taste of media theory. X-PLAINED: The exact nature of Shatterstar and Longshot's relationship Excalibur: Weird War III New Mutants Summer Special: A Mutant in Megalopolis Justin Thyme Bad Kansas Nazi Charles Xavier Kinda-Nazi Moira MacTaggert The Reichsmen Lightning Squad (again) Naked Space Xavier Largely unsuccessful denouement The Wobbly Sneaker Gang Megalopolis Media theory and several of its anthropomorphic personifications Socially conscious comics The Gifted The New Mutants trailer NEXT EPISODE: Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which X-Legends Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson join us for our first-ever live show on the East coast! NEXT EPISODE: Bits 'n' Bobs No visual companion this week, but keep an eye out for our NYCC gallery! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which things are not as they were; "yaybopunk" is definitely our aesthetic; Cable is officially foreshadowed; and the NYCC live show did in fact go really well! X-PLAINED: Cable's childhood Some ECCC plans X-Factor #65-68 The Riders of the Storm "Riders on the Storm" Some X-Factors that might have been Babies as drawn by Whilce Portacio Medieval cats Yaybohunk vs. yaybopunk A red herring Jen Askani A kidnapping Visual representations of hacking How to effectively evoke the Dark Phoenix Saga The plural of "Apocalypse" Rad fights on the moon Something you should definitely cosplay Cyclops narration A psychic duel A choice Resets vs. returns The Apocalypse Manifesto The Crafters of Apocalypse NEXT EPISODE: Live at New York Comic Con, with Chris Claremont & Louise Simonson! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don't actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along. X-PLAINED: Penance (but not that Penance) Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details "Kings of Pain" New Mutants Annual #7 New Warriors Annual #1 Uncanny X-Men Annual #15 X-Factor Annual #6 The Alliance of Evil Harness Piecemeal Genetech IDIC Symbolic chess The New Warriors The Clean Plate Club from Hell The Pec Twins ReBoot A really screwed up debate Magneto vs. Human Nature Privilege and Callouts NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon! COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Charles Xavier returns to the pages of Uncanny X-Men; Storm is out of our league forever; Miles would be a terrible president; Psylocke picks up the frequent-shower torch; everyone gets possessed; Gambit acts more Sinister than he is; and our NYCC panel is definitely on THURSDAY, not Friday. X-PLAINED: The Pantheon Uncanny X-Men #275-277 Dinosaurs in space A very impressive cover Several kinds of manacle Small children we'd like to see beat up Gladiator Varying levels of Evil Charles Xavier A nefarious plan Double death FailCat Logan Two bad, beautiful babes with really big guns Some excellent sound effects Awesome space fights Shopping with Deathbird Mall vs. maul X-archenemies NEXT EPISODE: The Kings of Pain! NOTE: Seriously, the NYCC Panel is on THURSDAY. Not Friday. THURSDAY. It's official now. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay and Miles finally sit down for an in-depth discussion of the political weight of superheroes and what the X-Men mean to us in America's current political climate. Correction: In the episode, we said that Kyle Yount produced this one. In actuality, Kyle recorded the episode and Kurt Loyd produced it. Sorry, Kurt! You can find our photos from Rose City Comic Con on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work. NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991. ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY. X-PLAINED: Sentinel Aesthetics Prime Sentinels "Colossus: God's Country" Butt physics The Cold War Colossus's feelings about porn The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library Some varyingly dubious politics The Cold Warriors Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes Bipartisan satire Jay's grandfather An uncomfortable picnic Limbs Number Six (but not that one) Terrible neighbors "Cyclops: The Retribution Affair" Bobbie and Mary Campbell Master Mold (again) Stephen Lang (again) Servitors A well-honed lobster alert system The Retribution Virus Conscience A terrible party Kitty Pryde's Gal Pal Squad Community Organizer Magneto NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which almost everyone is better than Romulus; Barry Windsor-Smith continues to draw the best naked X-Men; Jay has strong feelings about Wolverine's origins; Miles still hasn't seen The Prisoner; when in doubt, it's probably Kang the Conqueror and/or Mystique; we remain unqualified to give bear-fighting advice; you should not hide out in a nuclear reactor; and the Coffee-a-Go-Go has probably been turned into a new-wave sushi bar or something. X-PLAINED: The Professor (Truett Hudson) Romulus Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con Marvel Comics Presents #72-84 "Weapon X" Backstory attrition A really good opening montage Some very effective use of color Healing hair The original villain behind Weapon X A retconned origin of Wolverine's claws Dr. Abraham Cornelius Carol Hines Terry Gilliam's Weapon X Audio vs. text-based mind control An action figure in dubious taste The Milgram Experiment An adaptation we'd like to see A bad place to hide Subsequent "Weapon X" retcons How Cyclops's powers have (and haven't) developed Jay's general failure at X-tourism NEXT WEEK: More MCP, featuring "The Retribution Affair" and "God's Country"! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; "Girls' School from Heck" is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations. X-PLAINED The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin Perks of home recording FlameCon 2017 Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con Excalibur #32-36 "Girls' School from Heck!" St. Searle's School for Young Ladies St. Trinian's and a large number of references thereto Regional variations in boarding school hijinks Miss Rutherford A poorly staged panel Phoebe Huntsman Kitty Pryde's penmanship Margaret Thatcher's weirdly wholesome fantasies The kinda-reformation of Mesmero The end of Chris Claremont's run on Excalibur Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption An abduction The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda) Mariner disambiguation A rescue An unlikely partnership Darkmoor Research Center Dr. Walshe A somewhat convoluted plot Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom The physics of Asteroid M NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle's marginalia!

Thanks again to James and Sam for letting us use their hotel room for this ridiculousness! WHAT?! Less than a month back, and it's a brand new mid-week bonus episode! In which Jay, Niki, Sina, and James drink fancy Scotch and talk FlameCon; what X-Men means to us as queer readers and writers; the difference between the bat family and the X-Men; mutant metaphors; favorite 'ships; and more! GUESTS: Sina Grace Niki Johnson James Tynion IV This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the ladies love Hank McCoy; feelings are terrible; wereStarlins stalk the night; Stan Lee is definitely trying to sell you a car; Iceman has a lot to prove; we bid a reluctant farewell to Louise Simonson's tenure on X-Factor; and yes, video reviews will be back eventually. X-PLAINED: The Intelligentsia Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con and New York Comic Con Prestige Format comics X-Factor: Prisoner of Love X-Factor #63-64 A possible cameo Synthia Naip Several ways to identify individuals from outer space Visual conceits of supernatural noir A deeply unhealthy relationship The mysterious wereStarlin The hickey of destiny Whether Starfox would fuck a crystal Cyburai and/or cyberpunks What makes for good team costumes Post-Iceman cleanup The secret origins of Opal Tanaka Tatsu'o Hiro The Gal Pal Squad Assorted macho bullshit The end of Louise Simonson's involvement with the central X-line Where to find Dr. Nemesis Magneto's D&D alignment Whether and when video reviews will return NEXT EPISODE: Girls' School from Heck! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

***NOTE: We're aware of the audio issues in this episode. We're still troubleshooting our cross-country setup. Thank you for your patience!*** Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Stryfe is the Jan Brady of the Summers family; Miles's dreams are trampled beneath tiny, delicate feet; Rictor goes on an unnecessary rescue mission; Cable is Washington to Cannonball's Hamilton; the New Mutants may or may not time travel; Boom Boom scarfs up some chow for the bohunk; you should definitely not mess with Feral's pigeons; Liefeld fights are pure rule-of-cool; Jay is absolutely not qualified to give legal advice; and we bid a bittersweet goodbye to New Mutants. X-PLAINED: Zero Production transitions The end of New Mutants New Mutants #98-100 Plotting vs. scripting The most valuable issue of New Mutants Gideon Liefeld butts (more) (again) The very dramatic death of Emmanuel da Costa Tolliver Some Spider-Man looking jerk Domino (Neena Thurman) A specific and likely inaccurate timeline Feral (Maria Callasantos) The signature Liefeld Kick™ The Tavern on the Green Five or six kinds of mutants A sad goodbye Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven) Cadre Alliance Nesting habits of the urban bohunk Some rad moves A prologue that is also an epilogue The Stryfe that might have been How Logan fits into the X-Men movie timeline X-Men mostly likely to watch Yuri!!! On Ice Jay at FlameCon!! NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a sexistential crisis! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we return triumphant from hiatus; it's still always Inferno in here; no one should ever under any circumstances date Cameron Hodge; Kenneth is a fundamentally hilarious name; Magneto's family gets retconned to death; Pterosaurs are still the absolute worst; and Magik totally deserves a sidekick. X-PLAINED: Ka-Zar's real name Shanna the She-Devil Our new production set-up What we did on our summer vacations Previously on X-Men Further limits of the mutant metaphor Uncanny X-Men #273-275 A crisis of leadership A comic that is a metaphor that is also a comic Cable's OkCupid profile Changing creative dynamics on the X-line Archangel's middle name Gambit vs. Wolverine Censorship Steam The protean X-bathroom Magneto's retconned family Colonel Semyanov A perhaps ill-conceived team-up The Self-Styled Mistress of Magnetism Some remarkably lucky timing The semantics of heel turns Gender and sidekicks Mr. Sinister's powers NEXT EPISODE: The end of New Mutants! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don't get to make a threatening speech about someone else's powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous! X-PLAINED: The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements Uncanny X-Men #272 New Mutants #97 X-Factor #62 The Story So Far Glasses fashions in comics The difference between Batman and the Punisher How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong Acceptable pants Some really sketchy judicial process A ruse Several retcons concerning Wolverine Consequence-free impaling Chekhov's genetic engineering Louise Simonson's final issue of New Mutants The relative durability of mutants A number of prescient threats This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs Summers Brothers team-ups A very cathartic fight Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited Our plans for the hiatus THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it's hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge's severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta. X-PLAINED: Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61 Laura Kinney's brief babysitting career Our upcoming hiatus Dramatis personae A figurative battering ram Focused totality Best insults of the 1990s A debate Ethics of rhetoric Housecat Havok Skittering Mutate numbering systems The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables The slow disintegration of reality as we know it Sneaking with Cable A singularly anticlimactic cover A lushly illustrated report Increasingly petty revenge S.H.I.E.L.D.'s most advanced bald cap A rising storm Art teams What we'd like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which the X-Tinction Agenda begins in earnest; Jim Lee rocks our world; Cable doesn't need any Mickey-Mouse schedules; Jean Grey is not paid by the word; Havok makes a heel turn; Boom Boom's pretext of self-interest fools no one; Cameron Hodge is STILL the worst; and Jay and Miles make an announcement. X-PLAINED: Warlock across the multiverse Uncanny X-Men #270, New Mutants #95, X-Factor #60 X-Tinction Agenda The first modern crossover The creative state of the X-line Limitations of Marvel Unlimited Dramatis Personae Mickey-Mouse schedules The X-Men, who do not die the old-fashioned way One-way nude teleportation Magistrate Summers The return of Cameron Hodge's angry severed head Wipeout (again) Mutates The death of Warlock The esoteric paraphernalia of war Silver Age misogyny What we'd do differently if we introduced the X-Men in 2017 Our upcoming hiatus NEXT EPISODE: It gets worse. You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which incoming Iceman writer Sina Grace joins us to talk about the coolest X-Man; Adult Bobby Drake gets the spotlight; no one looks too closely at the jokester; the mutant metaphor works both globally and personally; and we are all a little horrified by how long ago Grant Morrison's New X-Men run happened. X-PLAINED: The Apocalypse Seed What ice powers sound like Ice puns and Memento-style tattoos Adult coming-out stories Intersectionality and representation Iceman on his own The most Sinister of teases Cargo shorts Bobby's assorted ex-girlfriends Omega-level ice powers vs. anxiety Mike Carey’s X-Men Bobby’s buds Cannonball and Rogue Yas Northstar Respecting continuity, avoiding overwhelm Advice for your younger (and older) self Find Sina Grace on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook! NEXT EPISODE: The X-Tinction Agenda begins! No visual companion this week! Check out Iceman in June! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which Miles gets an etymology lesson; Nightcrawler is the most dateable guy in the X-Universe; Meggan is basically all the cryptids; Michael Higgins must be stopped; Alistair Stuart is terrible at adulting; we really hope Brian wasn't too attached to that airplane; and in retrospect, there probably should have been a Spalding Gray joke in there somewhere. X-PLAINED: The Montesi Formula Excalibur #28-31 The Gilded Lady The quintessential post-college experience The word "cooter" Relative gullibility A generally unacceptable issue Loungewear Vampires, kind of Some uncomfortably colonial imagery Krakoa, Jr. The Vega Men The aftermath of Axis Colossus's probable politics NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) Share this:

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone's got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment. X-PLAINED: Nightcrawler's brief clerical career Days of Future Present Annuals, in general Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon Fantastic Four Annual #23 New Mutants Annual #6 X-Factor Annual #5 Uncanny X-Men Annual #14 Franklin Richards Several statuses quo The reproductive potential of Doombots Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura) Ahab A Code Red Time Emergency One of Jay's dream pitches Your sad cyborg dad The worst tea party One hell of a kiss Robocop vs. Terminator NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic! The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which Laura easily is worth a dozen Old Mans Logan; Charlotte Jones is the EveryCop; Genosha remains a fairly versatile allegory; Hydra are totally Nazis; Jubilee gets the best sound effects; Rogue has a bad day; and it'll take more than a sun to stop Lila Cheney. X-PLAINED: Graydon Creed Logan oversaturation (more) (again) Uncanny X-Men #264, 268, 269 A somewhat convoluted status quo Death by Derrida New York's sewers (kind of) (maybe) The Misty Knight rule Jackets of the '90s Cap's cape Mustache metaphysics The Press Gang (again) VR.5 The Doctrine of Hot Pursuit Dazzler, in handy grenade form A prescient scenario Jim Lee signature cocktail dresses A dubious approach to first aid Wolverine's sexy friends Nazi ducks Seraph Ivan Petrovitch Sexy subversion Rogue vs. Carol Danvers Mutants vs. the Terrigen Mists TaXonomy of ambiguously X-characters NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which writers Dennis Hopeless and Charles Soule join us for a live episode at Emerald City Comic Con, Age of X is the world's worst morale boost; Charles and Dennis X-Plain the Marvel Universe; we still can't get Hieronymus Bosch's X-Men out of our heads; and apparently somehow we've recorded and posted 150 of these things. X-PLAINED: Age of X Evil Moira MacTaggert Disambiguation The post-Secret Wars Marvel Universe Major X-Men turning points ResurrXion Planning events A profoundly unexpected crossover Namor's definitive qualities Our dream X-creators Where to find Havok in current comics Earned deaths The pronunciations of several words Teams we'd like to see revived or revisited NEXT EPISODE: The road to X-Tinction Agenda continues! No visual companion this week, but wait 'til you see our ECCC photos! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. href="http://particlefiction.bigcartel.com/">Contact David to purchase the original! In which Old Man Logan is probably better than it deserves to be; Steve McNiven is magical; the post-apocalyptic future probably belongs to the LARPers; Miles's dad may or may not secretly be Hawkeye; all babies are supervillains; every movie should have a dinosaur chase scene; Emma Frost is our queen forever; and you should never trust a Hitler cosplayer. X-PLAINED: Wolverine: Lord of the Vampires Mark Millar Wolverine vol. 3 #66-72 Giant-Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan The Hooded Man "Old Man Logan" vs. Old Man Logan The difference between Logan and Wolverine Old-timey apocalypses The Hulk Gang Old Man Hawkeye The Spider-Buggy Moloids Hammer Falls Ultron-8 Several generations of supervillains How the world fell under darkness President Red Skull Some very cathartic violence Narrative functions of the rampage NEXT EPISODE: Live from Emerald City Comic Con, with Dennis Hopeless & Charles Soule! Special thanks to the Protomen. The visual companion to this episode will be up when Jay has a working computer charger again. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original! In which Archangel falls in with the LARP crowd; all yuppies are (probably) vampires; Beast is kind of a jerk; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Forge; and you should totally come hang out with us at ECCC! X-PLAINED: A peculiar scheme X-Factor #54, 56-59 Crimson The Ravens A gallery opening Several varyingly tortured souls Charlotte Jones (more) Archangel vs. Archangel's wings Ethical reporting An accidental bank robbery The return of a long-lost villain Timmy Jones NEXT EPISODE: Old Man Logan! Special thanks to Lillian Cohen-Moore! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original! In which the New Mutants get a new status quo (and new costumes); we have deeply mixed feelings about Rob Liefeld; Cable is the comprehensive sex-ed to Xavier's staunch denial and Magneto's abstinence-only; Rictor gets a new dad by right of arms; and you should totally come party with us at Emerald City Comic Con! X-PLAINED: Feral Wolverine Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con New Mutants #90, 91, 93, and 94 Early Rob Liefeld Caliban vs. Sabretooth Vertical spreads Stately Xavier Ruins How to confuse Freedom Force Imaginary fashions of the early '90s How Rictor's father may or may not have died The New Mutants' new uniforms A lovingly-rendered butt Improv with Apocalypse The mystery of Rictor's shirt Seismic weaving The Japanese branch of the MLF (Kamikaze, Sumo, and Dragoness) The Mutual Liberation Front Diana, Warrior Princess (again) Several kisses Sleet NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Fights Yuppie LARPers or Something CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay referred to Bob Harras as Editor-in-Chief of Marvel in 1990. Tom DeFalco was in fact Editor-in-Chief; Harras was the X-Men line editor. The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original! In which Elisabeth plans for her reign as Omniversal Majestrix; Hulks and moons are two great tastes that go great together; Nightcrawler takes the lead; Alastair gets a new gadget; it's just not a cosmic event without Alan Davis; Mastermind is still the absolute worst; Excalibur fixes problems by playing dress-up; Moira MacTaggert desperately needs to hire some staff; and Jamie Braddock is legitimately terrifying. X-PLAINED: M’gubgub Nth Man Excalibur #25-27 Nova (Frankie Raye) The continually poor decisions of Brian Braddock A convergence of cosmic forces Lumberjack Death Character growth both literal and metaphorical A cosmic snit Asshole Factor A villainous ruse Several rounds of reality warping Definitive incarnations of characters NEXT EPISODE: Rictor has issues! You can find a visual companion to this episode on the blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at RedBubble, or contact David to purchase the original! In which Val Cooper remains the club queen of U.S. Intelligence; the Shadow King is a huge jerk; Storm is a badass at any age; Gambit gets off to a surprisingly good start; "flesh and spirit" is the new "body and soul"; and we are guardedly optimistic about an upcoming release. X-PLAINED: Unconventional evidence of nefarious influence Uncanny X-Men #265-267 Storm's early origins The Shadow King Deb Levin A kind of pointless revenge plot Trouble in space A great deal of larceny Counterintuitive costuming The debut of Gambit An unnecessarily complicated plan Charm, and charm Regrets Our thoughts on the upcoming Legion series NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur meanders, with guest X-Pert Elisabeth Allie! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original! In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless's version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain--to nobody's surprise--the best listeners of any podcast, ever. X-PLAINED: Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan) Portland Snowpocalypse 2017 "Return of the King" Rapping in character Beats in the gutters A vehement defense of Nate Grey Wolverine: Rahne of Terra Earth-1991 Geshem Many puns of varying quality EiC Cable A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit! In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song "Beards Going Nowhere" during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. In which the Cross-Time Caper has finally outstayed its welcome; we bid a reluctant farewell to Alan Davis; Inferno may or may not finally actually be over; Evil Doug Ramsey rocks our socks; the Shadow King is not a particularly nuanced villain; Kitty Pryde celebrates a birthday; and Courtney Ross represents an awful lot of dangling plot threads. X-PLAINED: Nocturne Excalibur #21-24 The end of the Cross-Time Caper Post-Alan Davis Excalibur Chris Wozniak Crusader X Earth-2122 How to track Excalibur Phoenix-related telepathic idiosyncracies Our general indifference to the Shadow King An alternate history of Earth-811 Earth-23238 An extended Judge Dredd riff Puberty Another John Byrne cameo Several variations on Courtney Ross Kitty Pryde's 15th birthday Nightcrawler's beard The Siege Courageous NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse & Dennis Hopeless! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original! In which Jay and Miles make a personal announcement; moles (probably) don't lay eggs; Angel is full of angst and flechettes; there's always room for cello; and no matter how complicated our personal lives get, X-Factor's will always be worse! X-PLAINED: The Tanaka family business Jay & Miles vs. time travel Some personal stuff that's going on Our definitive Iceman artist A whole lot of child endangerment Two reasons not to eat cereal from the 1980s X-Factor #51-53 and 55 Cable's first word Slightly dubious zoning Charlotte Jones Opal Tanaka Mole Chicken Wings Grover, but not that Grover B-grade Sabretooth A double date Giant bugs The Locust (August Hopper) A walk in the park A failed proposal What we talk about when we talk about retcons NEXT EPISODE: Happy Birthday, Shadowcat! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. No print this week, but you can contact David to purchase the original! In which we ring in the new year with Cable's on-page debut; it's really the '90s now; we enter the third major era of New Mutants; what Liefeld lacks in craft he makes up for in energy; we pitch a new "What if--" line; Rusty and Skids are terrible superheroes; X-Factor has probably given up on a lot of things; we speculate at gratuitous length on the content of Cable's pouches; you have reason to go to the devil; and Cable makes a lot more sense when you realize he's of, by, and for teenagers. X-PLAINED: How the Legacy Virus got loose New Mutants #86-89 Cable's on-page debut Rob Liefeld The third major era of New Mutants A shift in the balance of power A comics shop to probably avoid if you time-travel back to the mid 1990s The stupid adventures of Rusty & Skids Yet another Acts of Vengeance tie-in Nitro An accidental prison break Cops, or maybe protestors The Mutant Liberation Front Feet A goody two-shoes man-stealing redheaded werewolf Wildside Reaper Strobe Thumbelina Tempo Forearm Zero Stryfe Stryfe's armor Spooning with Cable NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor kicks it Silver Age. You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) No prints this week. Contact David Wynne to purchase the original illustration!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which writer Dennis Hopeless returns to the show for an informal introduction to the (first) mutant messiah; Cable is the best-case retcon scenario; Summerses don't get to retire; calculating relative character age remains functionally impossible; Cable is Marsha to Stryfe's Jan; and there's probably already a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta about all of this. X-PLAINED: That one time Cable and Stryfe shared a body Cable (Nathan Christopher Charles Summers) Spinning nonsense into gold Cable and X-Force Cable's controversial creative origins Collaborative character creation Cable origins that might have been A whole lot of time travel A whole lot of Summers family nonsense Professor (Ship) Tyler Dayspring (Tolliver) Hope Summers How to make Cable interesting What to do after you save the world Still more time travel Look, there's a lot of time travel, okay? Old-man strength Stryfe David Willis's theory of Batman humor (and Jay's derivative theory of Stryfe humor) Muscle March Cable's role on teams Stryfe vs. Hope Cable's theoretical legal career Quantum operetta theory NEXT EPISODE: Cable's on-page debut! There is no visual companion to this episode! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Spotlight on Starjammers is basically a RPG module; Jay may or may not have developed superpowers; artfully tattered clothing is a Summers family tradition; the Starjammers kill a planet; Raza may or may not be super progressive; and Professor X dies (again). X-PLAINED: The T-Bomb Spotlight on Starjammers #1-2 The Starjammers (more) (again) Phlazers Keel-hauling The space plank Phalkon The Groff System Vam & Mer Cr'eee's dubious past Several really on-the-nose planets Doki-Doki Universe A critical comma The expected endurance of the Starjammer A Shi'ar imperial poop fight Zenith Many cameos An entirely gratuitous superhero slugfest Death Phoenix Bald Phoenix Several dropped plot threads Our thoughts on ResurrXion Creative teams vs. characters NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable (feat. Dennis Hopeless)! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne In which we continue to follow the post-Siege Perilous X-Men; Dazzler finally makes her big-screen debut; Callisto gets a day job; Colossus gets a ponytail; still more X-Men fake their deaths; Jean Grey gets tentacles; Professor Wolverine is a jerk; and Jay overthinks Community. X-PLAINED: The new-new Howling Commandos Hit-Monkey Uncanny X-Men #259-263 Dazzler: The Movie (again) Freddie Stanacheck Eric Beale What Dazzler would do Peter Nicholas Jenny Ransome and Phillip Moreau (again) Twin Peaks references, canonical and otherwise Genoshan foreign policy The value of allegory Some regrettable X-costumes That time Jean Grey got tentacles Molly the cat Dubious medical ethics Hardcase and the Harriers An unlikely pizza party A theoretical Community/X-Men costume party NEXT EPISODE: Spotlight on the Starjammers! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which author Sarah Kuhn joins us to talk about Asian-American and Asian-British representation in superhero comics; Psylocke is the literal embodiment of British imperialism; Jubilee speaks for us all; representation isn't a Boolean state; Wolverine fails at pop culture references; and somewhere there's probably a really dark alternate universe where Betsy teamed up with Jamie instead of Brian. X-PLAINED: Crimson Dawn Sarah Kuhn Uncanny X-Men #256-258 A proactive approach to career advancement Matsuo Tsurayaba The Mandarin A highly symbolic dream sequence A controversial transformation Kwannon What badass looked like in 1990 Several varyingly successful Batman references Rose Wu A fairly novel approach to hallucination Some high-quality invective Psylocke as a villain NEXT WEEK: What (almost) everyone else is up to! You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.) Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which we find the idea of Jack Kirby as G-d deeply comforting; "Jercules" is our new favorite insult; the difference between camp and divinity is good backlighting; Zeus does not have the moral high ground; Ron Lim's Captain Britain is the definitive cad; the Demon Druid is the saddest supervillain; Archangel broods like it's his day job; and Jay gets to do all the fun voices for once. X-PLAINED: The Upstarts An inflatable Batman New Mutants #81 Excalibur #20 X-Factor #47 Our favorite Magma story The best insult Pugilistic impunity A context-inappropriate oath The worst film festival Fighting fire with Magma The Demon Druid A Satanic pirate tavern Reactorhenge The depths of fuchsia Archangel's deeply weird comfort mechanisms Some dude named Greg Publishing delays NEXT WEEK: Lady Mandarin, feat. Sarah Kuhn You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! We're in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven't moved yet at Redbubble.) Buy prints (or mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which the Cross-Time Caper continues; alliteration is awesome; someone else's geopolitical conflict is not an appropriate place to play out your pirate fantasies; we are definitely not actually going to eat Alan Davis's brains; Jamie Braddock is Evil Rex Racer; Widget eats a car; Rick Leonardi is the definitive fill-in artist; the problem is patriarchy; and everything's sticky in Madripoor. X-PLAINED: X-Manga Excalibur #16-19 Crosstime A John Carter riff A mysterious and dubiously reliable narrator A terrible pick-up line Kymri Anjulie Gender-neutral fantasy armor Implicit fellatio in several media Space Fred Savage An alternate Jean Grey (and her untimely demise) Tullamore Voge A grand tourney A deeply disappointing pastiche ORZ-1 Dirty Pair (and a sustained riff thereon) What makes a train sexy Wolverine's table manners Jim Jaspers vs. Jamie Braddock vs. Jamie Jeffers NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Deadpool and X-Men '92 artist Scott Koblish joins us to present the Summers Family Tree as you've never experienced it before; the X-Men go to Dante's Hell; Dr. Strange gets his Virgil on; Wolverine sniffs snakes; Iceman has probably killed a lot of people; and X-Men fans have remained remarkably consistent over the years. X-PLAINED The Summers family Birthdays at the Xavier mansion A package as sinister as it is stylish Uncanny X-Men King-Size Annual #4 One version of Hell A demon who is also a sorting hat Another X-Men crossover conspiracy theory The X-Men's religious affiliations and lack thereof Nuance of self-narration Snakes with arms, and the vocalizations thereof Dangers of encasing people in ice The death of Stefan Szardos An overly complex revenge plot The origin of that one angry mob from Giant-Size X-Men #1 Kinda-incest Reader responses to the Dark Phoenix Saga X-Men vs. board games The appeal of the Outback X-Men Artist-character associations NEXT EPISODE: Kurt Wagner: Warlord… of our hearts! DEAR MISTER SINISTER lyrics by Jay Edidin & music by Tea Fougner. Performed by Scott Koblish. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

In which the plot thickens; Jay and Miles fix Avatar; Ship is a good bro; you are in space right now; the Beginagains go full This Island Earth; Cyclops weaponizes love; voting is really important; and you're listening to ten straight hours of soft jazz and subversion on ZZ-105 X-PLAINED: The other Dazzler (Bertram Worthington) Our newest t-shirt X-Factor #48-50 A metaphor within a metaphor, in space The first half of Judgment War (briefly) (again) A prisoner exchange Hairstyles of the possessed and famous Proper use of Cable A case for retcons Iceman vs. Archangel A feisty little fellow from the stars The secret origin of Ship The Celestials The core of Iceman's personality Several kisses Beast and the Rejects Some terrible hats An unfair fight A nefarious plot Contagious heroism Arishem The power of love Why we use the word "queer" Several theoretical and unlikely crossovers NEXT EPISODE: Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, with musical guest Scott Koblish! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Rusty is an honorary Bluth; we bid a sad farewell to Bret Blevins; Hogan the Grim is probably the best at bedtime stories; Asgard has really tight hat game; Hela is a remarkably competent supervillain; there are some sound effects you have to earn; Rusty and Skids fight the Vulture; and Miles has so many feelings about Thor. X-PLAINED: Cortex Damian Tryp Our weird 2016 recording schedule Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest 2016 Recent ResurrXion announcements The second half of the Asgard Adventure The end of Bret Blevins' New Mutants run New Mutants #82-85 The Odinsleep A fairly upsetting board game Volstagg's awesome kids Tiwaz of the Wastes Many excellent hats Ula and the Savage Swarm Garm Miles's favorite Fenrir story A remarkably clever villainous plan A signature sound effect Karnilla the Norn Queen Cable's relationship to Longshot Recommendations for a comics newcomer NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials, as Judgment War concludes! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Jubilee is the sassiest Xenomorph; Lady Deathstrike is way too good for the Reavers; Wolverine gets a sidekick; Forge arm wrestles the Shadow King; Moira takes a cavalier approach lab safety; Magneto's motives get kind of reconciled; Legion is a chaos gamer; Mystique and Destiny break our hearts; queer erasure in fiction reflects erasure in life; and the Shadow King is not even a little bit subtle. X-PLAINED: That one time Donald Pierce pretended to be Cyclops for like a year The post X-Men X-Men What may be our deepest cut yet Uncanny X-Men #252-255 Where's Wolverine? The Reaver Bunch Major-League lumpoids Robot dingoes A prescient vision Trouble at sea Several significant deaths Subtext and queer erasure The key of agony Smile noises Non-mutants we'd team up with the X-Men NEXT WEEK: Back to Asgard! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which writer Charles Soule joins us for a (spoiler free) discussion of Death of X and how to make mortality matter in universes where death is a revolving door. X-PLAINED: Fang Who's really trying to kill off the X-Men Death of Wolverine Death of X Charles Soule's favorite death scenes Several reasons to care about the Inhumans Unpacking Cyclops The correct pronunciation of "ResurrXion" NEXT EPISODE: The Makeshift X-Men of Muir Island There's no visual companion this week! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which "Cross-Time Caper" is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde's expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive. X-PLAINED: Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme The Cross-Time Caper Excalibur #12-15 Three love triangles Jay's mom's late iguana Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm Prince William Butch the ogre Princess Kate Fisticuffs Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style Bagpipe Vader An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem Sorcery 101 Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship Arrested Excalibur The Campsite Rule of relationships The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering A protracted parody A very large number and several names for it A theoretical team-up Ultimate Hunger An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger Some less-than-ideal creative choices A multiversal montage Jamie Braddock (more) (again) A duck The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile Pairing mutants with metal genres Inconsistent flight safety measures NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which X-Factor goes to space; Miles gets judgmental about spelling; Paul Smith returns to an X-title; Celestials are a pain; Judgment War is the Star-Trekkiest story that doesn't actually involve Star Trek; monster ladies are super important; if you can be a green dude, you should be a green dude; and Cyclops gears up to fight some gods. X-PLAINED: One way to kill a Celestial Judg(e)ment War Drunk Mark Trail X-Factor #43-46 Walls you should maybe not bust through even if you're X-Factor A completely inappropriate show pitch Celestials The true secret purpose of Ship The Chosen The Rejects Dualers Perfect Seera Rask Zarka Monster ladies in cultural context Lev A stupid way to die Jammers Plot-relevant amnesia The Most Perfect ZZ-105 Baby theft (more)(again) Ryest The Beginagains Whether and when there'll be another all-question episode The current status of the Jean Grey school NEXT EPISODE: The Cross-Time Caper begins! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

We're celebrating International Podcast Day with a bonus mid-week episode! In which Jay and Al settle down in the living room to talk about cats, conventions, X-karaoke, Summers Brothers road trips, and what Al has planned for those New Mutants he's been collecting in New Avengers! SOME RELEVANT LINKS: You can find all of our RCCC minicomics right here! Here's the original SPLINK PSA! David Malki's Magneto voicemails are a gift to the world. You can find the full collection here. This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which we get back on the continuity train; everything is the aftermath of Inferno forever; you should never fight a tractor or a horse without first putting on some damn pants; Vincent Price would've made a terrific Doctor Strange; Rusty Collins never really gets a fair break; Boom Boom is in over her head; and Brett Blevins takes his place as the definitive New Mutants artist. X-PLAINED: Mirage's on-again-off-again Valkyrie career Asgardia The New Mutants' previous Asgard adventures The best single issue of all time The Naglfar A proposal for a new calendar New Mutants #77-80 The Ust-Ordynski Collective (again) (more) There's Stuff Going On: The Doctor Strange Story A very bad decision Why unicorns are the worst Doctor Stephen Sanders / Doctor Strange / Doctor Dad Let's Make a Deal Whether arson counts as a personality trait Several nefarious plans Creative growth Disaster City Fun with the Technarchy Mindful representation Miles's dad's comics collection NEXT EPISODE: Judgment War! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. No prints this week, but you can contact David to purchase the original! In which we return to Rose City Comic Con and somehow manage to one-up last year's Stryfe cold open; Greg Pak has secretly written all of the X-books; Cullen Bunn may or may not be watching you RIGHT NOW; the X-Men distill down to murder and kissing; Toshiro Mifune should be everybody; Miles swears first (for once); and we can't wait to see all of your X-Men roller derby names! X-PLAINED: Cold open escalation Onslaught Greg Pak Continuity exegesis Marrying history and narrative Murder and kissing X-Treme X-Men vol. 2 Reimagining characters across the multiverse Governor-General James Howlett Magneto: Testament Where superheroes should and shouldn't intersect with geopolitical events Our X-Men buddy-cop duos of choice X-Commencement speakers X-Men roller derby names Contemporary vs. retrospective representations of current events NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants go to Asgard! There's not exactly a visual companion to this episode, but you can find a Rose City Comic Con gallery on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! No prints for sale this time, but you can still contact David Wynne for the original of this week's illustration!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Logan Bonner, Max Carleton, and Crystal Frasier hike up their boxers and join us at the gaming table for an X-Men: Evolution tabletop adventure; what happens in virtual reality stays in virtual reality; Shadowcat is great at boats; Jubilee and Boom Boom blow up everything; Havok tries; and Team Reckless Endangerment wins the day! FEATURING: Logan Bonner as Writer and Gamemaster / Erik the Rad Max Carleton as the Shadowcat / Pirate Kitty Crystal Frasier as Jubilee / the Genie Jay Edidin as Havok / the Corsair Miles Stokes as Boom Boom / Boomavara NEXT EPISODE: Live from RCCC, with Greg Pak! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which everyone dies (or something); every Summers is miserable in their own way; we are pretty done with Nanny and the Orphanmaker; Lady Deathstrike is a surprisingly astute art critic; the X-Men's digital invisibility does not extend to the White Pages; we venture into slightly less charted territory; Wolverine has a really bad day; and you should totally come hang out with us at Rose City Comic Con! X-PLAINED: Origins of Lady Deathstrike Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con X-Ray party etiquette Uncanny X-Men #248-251 The precise inverse of an anticlimax The Siege Perilous (more) (again) Dramatic parallels Summers tragedy disambiguation Jim Lee's first X-issue The apparent death of Storm (this time) The merged Reavers What it takes for Jay to play a sidescroller An X-band Longshot's departure A really ineffective rescue Art-critic Deathstrike Administrative assistant Jubilee Zaladane An unconventional approach to genealogy The ickiest method of mind control Dark Claw NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; "Having a Wild Weekend" is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators. X-PLAINED: The Agent Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016 What Excalibur has instead of annuals Competing theories of Eriks Larsen "Having a Wild Weekend" (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38) The Community reference that keeps on giving How to fight on the Internet without being a dick A large number of thinly veiled TV references The X-Babies Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem Ricochet Rita (again) Psychonauts Exploding children (more) (again) The House of Ideas The New Universe Major Domo Minor Domo Jay's dream vacation Cats Laughing (more) (again) Cosplay you should totally do Why you should always read the EULA The classic X-Men spirit Some of our favorite cameos The return of Judith Rassendyll One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding Where to find Havok in comics X-Men we'd like to see as wizards NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which the back-up stories of Atlantis Attacks are way better than the main event; the Serpent Society is hilarious; Longshot finds a rock; the S.U.R.F.E.R.S. are no Neutrinos; our volume of digressions is inversely proportional to our investment in this crossover; Jay overthinks sunglasses; and somehow we still aren't entirely done with Inferno. X-PLAINED: Leonard McKenzie Princess Fen Tiger Shark A dubious crossover event and three splendid backup stories The best thing in Marvel Puzzle Quest Skateman Atlantis Attacks Uncanny X-Men Annual #13 New Mutants Annual #5 X-Factor Annual #4 Ghaur Llyra Homo mermanus The Serpent Society Boomslang Why snakes don't wear vests The Maple Hill Farm books The Horn of Doom (again) Namorita Impractical swimwear Surf, or S.U.R.F.E.R.S., or whoever the hell they are Zak and the Neutrinos The trouble with mobile landmarks A case of mistaken identity The true meaning of something, probably Ralph Macchio, but not that Ralph Macchio Circumstances in which it is acceptable to throw a small child down an elevator shaft The definitive Boom Boom Eligible gentlemen of the Marvel Universe Boom Boom Von Doom A false dichotomy Sally Pashkow A really great outfit Presidencies rated by X-Books Best and worst moral inversions NEXT WEEK: Mojo Mayhem! ART CHALLENGE: Send your best Boom Boom romance stories, covers, and pin-ups to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com by SEPTEMBER 15, with the subject line BOOM BOOM RULES. NOTE: In this episode, Jay briefly confused two Marvel villain teams: the Serpent Society (snake-themed villains); and the Sons of the Serpent, also known as the Serpent Men (hate group). We would like to offer our apologies to the Serpent Society, who are ridiculous but not, as far as we know, racist. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. In which Jay may or may not have sold their voice to a sea witch; Gambit and Deadpool are somewhat lackadaisical superheroes; everything Fat Cobra does is amazing; Miles is a prepared gentleman; Gambit is there to look pretty and throw something; and there is now a Ben Acker vocaloid hovering around the studio. X-PLAINED: Acker & Blacker Thrilling Adventure Hour X-Men #214, but not the real one Deadpool v. Gambit As-needed approach to continuity The ontology of Deadpool The time the Absorbing Man turned into cocaine Wolverine Season One What makes Gambit creepy The roadtrip miniseries you didn't know you needed A theoretical poker game and its theoretical outcome NEXT EPISODE: Atlantis Attacks! There is no visual companion to this episode! Go read Deadpool v. Gambit! It's great! Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Contact David Wynne to inquire after the original of this week's illustration.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which everything is worse with Nazis; Excalibur gets its groove back; Meggan has an identity crisis; Kitty gets a crush; a dragon gets interdimensional sanctuary; and the Cross-Time Caper starts not with a bang, but a foomp. X-PLAINED: The death of Lilandra Neramani Excalibur #8-11 The best name in Hollywood Still more of Inferno's aftermath A basketball game Blackbird disambiguation Several long-delayed reunions and one subsequent resolution Alastaire Stuart (and his banana) Tourists who are also lizards Lightning Force A number of unfortunate encounters The difference between Errol Flynn characters and Errol Flynn The fall of Nigel Frobisher The switch that turns the engine invisible What may be the world's least subtle euphemistic use of the term "roommate" How the discourse around comics has changed since the '80s Jubilee vs. power creep NEXT EPISODE: Deadpool v Gambit, with Ben Acker! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don't understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he'll still be a huge nerd. X-PLAINED: The S-Men New Mutants Forever #1-5 Magma's revised family tree Updating the New Mutants The delicate balance of the Forever line The web Idiom confusion A flawed cultural analogy Tiberius the Generic Several profoundly dubious costumes Family resemblance Skull v. Skull The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis Miles here - in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies - I’m still learning! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which you really can't compete with Cable; the X-Men may or may not ditch a funeral; Nanny extrudes the grappling arms; Boom Boom is more responsible than she looks; Jean Grey is the cool stepmom; we posit an alternate explanation for Brexit; and ravens are the best dinosaurs. X-PLAINED: What happened to the Inferno babies X-Factor #40-42 Madelyne Pryor's funeral Post-Inferno X-Factor Archangel's inconsistent appearance Secret origins of Nanny and the Orphanmaker Teenagers (more) (again) Tom Jones (Alchemy) Conversations we probably shouldn't have with Neal Conan Trolls of London Dubious super-parenting Phy Phay Phee Phough Phumm Troll economics A grocery list The Ravenmaster Miles's mom NEXT EPISODE: Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain New Mutants Forever! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn't get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells "IMPERIUS REX" more than is strictly necessary. X-PLAINED New Son/New Sun Post-Inferno New Mutants New Mutants #74-76 Babies Ship shipping Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette A long-anticipated showdown Magneto's on-again-off-again children The Mutant Wars The Grey King (but not The Grey King) Undersea creatures that have no business near New York An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus Recycled powers Friendly sentinels NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin. NEXT EPISODE: Trolls! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by Marc Silvestri from Uncanny X-Men #244. David Wynne's art will return next episode! In which Jubilee makes her fabulous debut, the X-Ladies visit Hotbods, the X-Dudes accidentally (and drunkenly) save the world, Longshot is Sexy Johnny Karate, the only thing worse than one anti-mutant super-robot is two, and we say goodbye to a quarter of the team. X-PLAINED: Hellfire Club leadership Uncanny X-Men #244-247 Team-relative Inferno after-effects Jubilation Lee Teddy girls The surprisingly not-dead M Squad Chaos (but not KAOS) Dazzler, heart and/or steamroller of the X-Men Miles's alternate career as alien archivist DC's Invasion Logan's Guide to Kissing Etiquette Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown continuity disambiguation Sexy dead girls Perils of the Siege Perilous Sharon Kelly Rogue, Carol Danvers, and relative (im)maturity The MTV Generation Wolverine's hair X-(misc.) Forever Storm's threads NEXT EPISODE: The New Mutants drop out. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! No illustration this week, but David Wynne's art will be back next episode!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Jay and Max brave the X-Men anime; the problem isn't in Wolverine's pants; Xavier is for once less villainous than he seems; Emma Frost gets ruffly; Cyclops wasn't even supposed to be here today; and we both really want to hang out with Scott Porter. X-PLAINED: Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd Waiting for the Trade The X-Men Anime Marvel Anime Scott Porter Jay's ongoing attempts to assemble a coherent X-Men/Speed Racer conspiracy theory Floating Hands Theater Wolverine An unlikely T.A. Several recurring flashbacks The U-Men The other U-Men Armor (Hisako Ichiki) Emma Frost, but ruffly Evil Moira MacTaggert (Yui Sasaki) The Sasaki Institute The other Inner Circle Marsh Rat Neuron Takeo Sasaki Potluck night at the Hellfire Club Living vs. dead Jean Grey NEXT EPISODE: Jubilee! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Havok and Wolverine head to Mexico; Havok tries his hand at noir; Wolverine gets serious about hair gel; Meltdown is probably not actually a common Russian surname; Susan X-Plains nuclear reactors; and we are pretty thoroughly besotted with Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown. X-PLAINED: Age of Apocalypse Corsair Epic Comics Marvel Comics Presents #24-31 Leila O'Toole (Plasma) The Cold War Samantha Smith Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1-4 General Meltdown Dr. Neutron The varying deadliness of vices Scarlett McKenzie (Quark) Some exceptionally gorgeous artwork Why we love Havok Chernobyl How nuclear reactors do and don't work Other characters we'd like to see in Meltdown-type stories Adamantium vs. vibranium NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men Anime Special thanks to guest reactor X-Pert Susan Beaver! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

CONTENT NOTE: Episode 113 contains fairly extensive discussions of fictional violence, including gun violence. If you don't want to listen to that right now, that is absolutely okay. If you want to listen to it later, it'll still be here. And if you never want to listen to it, that is absolutely okay, too. We were on the fence about whether to post this episode today. We ultimately decided to go ahead, for two reasons: There's value in routine in the face of tragedy. There are times when continuing to exist visibly and publicly is itself an act of defiance. Love and solidarity to everyone who's grieving right now, and especially to our Florida friends and family, and to fellow members of the queer community. -Jay & Miles EPISODE 113: PLAY IT AGAIN, PATCH Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Wolverine gets an ongoing series; the constitution of Madripoor is probably just a list of pulp noir genre conventions; Tyger Tiger is a kinder, gentler crimelord; Jessica Drew gets possessed a lot; the Silver Samurai and Lindsay McCabe are our dream team; Joe Fixit is a font of endless delight; and someone should probably sit Wolverine down and explain how disguises work. X-PLAINED: The Murasama The other Murasama Life after Inferno Madripoor Wolverine #1-10 The Princess Bar O'Donnell The hierarchy of Casablanca references Roche Razorfist The Inquisitor Sapphire Styx Tyger Tiger What makes a good solo series Lindsay McCabe Wolverine's signature drink Possession pants Silver Samurai (again) Patch Bloodsport & Roughouse Archie Corrigan and his plane Landau, Luckman, & Lake Chief Tai General Nguyen Ngoc Coy Prince Baran and His Remarkable Pants Joe Fixit The worst possible way to celebrate someone's birthday NEXT EPISODE: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown! You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which we cover (almost) all of the Inferno tie-ins with the help of writer Sam Humphries; the Marvel Universe used to be really X-Centric; Jarvis is unstoppable; Daredevil fights a vacuum cleaner; it's probably best not to ask about the whole Celestial Madonna thing; Power Pack gets incredibly upsetting; working in comics makes you appreciate crossovers on a whole new level; and we'd all really have liked to have seen Guy Davis's Inferno. X-PLAINED: Peter Quill's brief music career Widget The Amazing Spider-Man #311-313 Spectacular Spider-Man #146-148 Web of Spider-Man #47-48 Avengers #298-300 Power Pack #42-44 Daredevil #262, 263, 265 Cloak and Dagger (vol. 3) #4 Fantastic Four #322-324 Inferno, as a whole The fate of Madelyne Pryor Jay's Madelyne Pryor song How working in comics taught us to appreciate crossovers Our ideal Inferno artists NEXT EPISODE: So. Much. Wolverine. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

In which we release a mid-week bonus episode and generally spoil the hell out of X-Men: Apocalypse! This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free--and unlock more cool stuff--you can do that right here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original. In which Wolverine gets a wolverine; the Crazy Gang meets their match; Inferno is business as usual for Excalibur; Alan Davis covers are the best covers; David Wynne makes his on-air debut; Courtney Ross is more competent than you; Murderworld operates on a dubious economic model; Nightcrawler is the anti-Nice Guy™, and everything basically works out for the best. X-PLAINED: Wolverine's wolverine A subtle but critical spelling difference Excalibur #4-7 The greatest comic-book cover of all time Dialogue on covers Courtney Ross Edwardian power suits Arcade (again) The dubious economics of Murderworld The Looney Toones school of sexploitation Search terms Fashion in Excalibur A mundane but useful superpower The death of Courtney Ross Perils of transatlantic flight The Goblin Princess A really excellent gargoyle Several cinematic references A very revealing outfit Brigadier Alysande Stuart Sinister fashion Still more Limbo disambiguation NEXT WEEK: Infero Post-Game, with Sam Humphries Special thanks to David Wynne. You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!