Sex With Dr. Jess

Do opposites attract? Are you really attracted to funny people or do you find attractive people funnier? And which type of dating couple are you? Researchers suggest that there are four types of dating couples and your type can influence whether the relationship lasts. Jess and Brandon explore these research topics in their last episode of 2023. Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 344 4 Types of Couples -- Which One Are You? [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Alright, alright. Are we ready to talk about four types of couples? [00:00:17] Brandon Ware: I'm always ready to talk about four types of couples. Which four types of couples are we talking about? [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: Four types of couples. Which one are you? It reminds me of like a quiz. What type of onion are you? [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: I'm a white onion. [00:00:28] Jess O'Reilly: You are a white onion. [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: Because I can only name two types of onions. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: What's the other one? [00:00:31] Brandon Ware: Red onions. [00:00:32] Jess O'Reilly: What about Vidalia? [00:00:33] Brandon Ware: I don't know what that is. [00:00:34] Jess O'Reilly: Green. [00:00:35] Brandon Ware: Sure. Green. [00:00:35] Jess O'Reilly: Yes. Spanish. [00:00:36] Brandon Ware: Okay. Listen, listen. [00:00:38] Jess O'Reilly: Shallot. [00:00:38] Brandon Ware: Onion connoisseur. [00:00:41] Jess O'Reilly: I like an onion. So we'll be talking about four types of couples and some research. But before we do that, I wanted to very briefly dive into some other research and data that I've come across this week. [00:00:51] Jess O'Reilly: And we have a little announcement at the end, I guess before we dive into it, I need to shout out adamandeve. com because they've got a big, big, big sale going on. And. You can save 50 percent off almost any single item plus free shipping and rush handling with code. Dr. Jess 50, [00:01:08] Brandon Ware: Dr. Jess 50. [00:01:09] Jess O'Reilly: Go buy something that vibrates something. Okay. Question for you. [00:01:12] Brandon Ware: Yes. [00:01:12] Jess O'Reilly: Are funny people more attractive to you? [00:01:15] Brandon Ware: Funny people are more attractive. [00:01:16] Jess O'Reilly: Like, are you attracted to funny people? [00:01:18] Brandon Ware: Yes. [00:01:19] Jess O'Reilly: Hang on. Am I funny? [00:01:19] Brandon Ware: Hold on. Yes. You're very funny, but what, but what else is like, what's the and [00:01:24] Jess O'Reilly: well, the question is, are you attracted to humor? Or do you find attractive people funnier? [00:01:29] Jess O'Reilly: Okay. I'm going to just say this. So I noticed that every little joke, like every little snide remark, every little kind of anything I say, that's even a little bit funny, I noticed you really laugh at, and I'm like, this guy's my biggest fan, but [00:01:41] Brandon Ware: I'm your biggest fan. For sure. [00:01:42] Jess O'Reilly: Is it because I'm funny? Is it because you get my jokes or is it because you just like me? [00:01:46] Brandon Ware: I think it's a combination of all those things. But I also think that I don't want somebody who's. Super funny and not attractive to me.

Isle McElroy joins Jess and Brandon to talk about intimacy, vulnerability and sex -- on paper and in the flesh. An award-winning non-binary author based in New York, McElroy's latest novel People Collide is a gender-bending, body-switching story exploring marriage, identity, and sex, which delves into questions about the nature of true partnership. Isle shares personal insights on what makes for a good sex scene, how inadequacy plays out in relationships and what they've learned from rethinking sex and pleasure. To learn more about Isle McElroy, check out their social media - Instagram and Twitter And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 343 Sex, Gender & Intimacy: People Collide with Isle McElroy [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Hey, hey, today we're talking about sex, gender, and intimacy with Isle McElroy, an award winning non binary author based in New York, whose latest novel, People Collide, is a gender bending, body switching story about marriage, identity, and sex, which delves into questions about the nature of true partnership. [00:00:31] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, and this story isn't your traditional kind of body swap, you know, thinking Freaky Fridays. So the story is... Eli, when Eli, the main character, leaves the cramped Bulgarian apartment, he shares with his wife, Elizabeth, who's more organized, more successful than he is. He discovers that he now inhabits her body. [00:00:48] Jess O'Reilly: So not only have he and his wife traded bodies, but Elizabeth living as Eli, has disappeared without a trace, and what follows is Eli's search across Europe, to America, to find his missing wife, and an exploration of gender and embodied experience. As Eli comes closer to finding Elizabeth while learning to exist in her body, he begins to wonder what effect this metamorphosis will have on their relationship, and how long he can maintain the illusion of of living as someone he isn't. [00:01:17] Jess O'Reilly: And the questions, you know, are will their new marriage wither completely in each other's bodies, or is this transformation the very thing Eli and Elizabeth need for their marriage? to thrive. So I'm really looking forward to this conversation. I've been reading the book. I'm almost done. I thought I'd be done by today, but I have a lot of questions about some of the messaging and themes, and I think it's going to be a great conversation. [00:01:37] Jess O'Reilly: Now, before we welcome our guest, I'll want to announce a partnership with fellow podcasters Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women. The podcast, season two, is out now and it's hosted by Nana Darkwa Sakiyama and Malaika Grant. The podcast explores African women's experiences of sex, sexuality, [00:02:00] and pleasure and they have a host of fabulous guests in their bedroom this season. [00:02:05] Jess O'Reilly: They have top sexpert Ohlone from the UK, fabulous comedienne Yvonne Orji. Feminist powerhouse, Mona Altahawe, and many, many more. And they're asking all their guests, what's your sexy secret? What's your secret, babe? [00:02:19] Brandon Ware: I can't tell you. It's a secret. That's why it's a secret. [00:02:21] Jess O'Reilly: So predictable. Okay. That and so much more in the new season of the Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women podcast out now. [00:02:30] Jess O'Reilly: Listen, wherever you get your podcasts.

What are the signs of burnout, and how do they - show up in relationships? How might the Conservation of Resources theory apply to personal relationships? And how can we use the Conservation of Resource lens to manage burnout and improve relationships? Jess & Brandon discuss these topics and more while exploring specific strategies for dealing with burnout in - the context of personal relationships. Check out the transcript below, and be sure to click here to learn more about the upcoming Temptation Cruise departing from Miami in February 2024. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 342 Managing Burnout In Relationships: Conservation of Resource Theory [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Mr. Brandon Ware, how you feeling today? [00:00:17] Brandon Ware: I'm good. I'm good. I'm a little bit tired. I'm good. [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: A little bit worn out. [00:00:20] Brandon Ware: Just, just a touch. [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: This is what I'm hearing across the board. [00:00:23] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I hear it from a lot of people these days. [00:00:25] Jess O'Reilly: I didn't even prep you for it. I'm like, if I ask how you're doing, I know you're going to say you're a little worn out because it seems like everybody's feeling that way. You know, I'm hearing from friends who describe their state as frozen. [00:00:36] Brandon Ware: I haven't heard frozen before. [00:00:37] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. Actually two different friends last week said that they feel frozen. Like they don't even feel like replying in our group texts. They don't even feel like talking about what's going on in the world because folks are feeling exhausted and sad. And I think there's a sense of. Hopelessness around some of the, the big issues and power and the way things are shifting and seeing how, you know, even economies are, are shifting so that it's making it harder for people to live. [00:01:05] Brandon Ware: I thought you were going to make reference to, so the feeling numbness, but also the inability to move, is that what you're saying? So it's kind of twofold. [00:01:12] Jess O'Reilly: Right. Cause we think about fight. Or flight, freeze is another response, fawn is another response, but we're not talking about that today. I want to talk about burnout. [00:01:21] Jess O'Reilly: So I think most folks have heard me talk about the bulk of my work is this marriage as a business program, where I take business models and adapt them to relationships for business leaders. And that's my favorite part of my job. It's super fun. And it's really interesting because it's not like every model can just be. [00:01:36] Jess O'Reilly: Shifted into another realm perfectly, but I think they can be adapted and no model is perfect. No theory is perfect, especially when you're looking at, you know, for example, organizational psychology. But I was thinking that it'd be interesting to apply this to burnout today because it seems to be the theme in all the private messages I'm reading and in my friend groups right now. [00:01:51] Jess O'Reilly: And yeah, I was thinking about applying. some theories to burnout today with a lens of an organizational psychology theory, conservation of resources, which I know you're familiar [00:02:00] with. Yes, I am. Studying organizational psych. And I was thinking that we could talk briefly about si...

How do you keep things exciting amid a repetitive routine? How can adults be more playful (because playfulness is associated with happier relationships & hotter sex)? What simple changes can you implement to make your daily interactions more fun, passionate and erotic — even if you’re super busy? You’re not a light switch, so you likely can’t get turned on in the blink of an eye. This week, to celebrate our wedding anniversary, we share 20+ specific strategies and action items you can use to make your relationship more romantic, intimate and erotic. If you’re looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 341 - Eroticize Daily Interactions: 20 Actionable Tips For Busy Couples Intro: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Dr. Jess: Hey, we've got a replay of one of my favorite topics, one of my favorite episodes on eroticizing daily interactions from April 2021, so you might hear some references to a totally different time. It's a time warp. Brandon: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I am your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, hey. How are you? Dr. Jess: I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. I'm interested in this conversation for the two of us as well. We're going to be talking about how to make your daily interactions more erotic and What are you laughing at? Brandon: I'm immediately thinking about eating a banana. Dr. Jess: Oh my gosh, because in my presentations I always talk about how [00:01:00] to eroticize daily interactions because you're not a light switch. You can't go from talking about your taxes and your work and your kids and whether or not your dog had a bowel movement on its last walk to just flipping the switch and being, oh, hi. Hey. Tear my clothes off, right? And my joke is when I say To eroticize your daily interactions. I don't mean make everything annoyingly erotic, right? I don't want to be eating a banana and have Brandon look over and be like, Oh yeah, you eat that banana. That's what I'm talking about. It's really more about playfulness and flirtation and I don't know, all these different ways to be erotic. It doesn't have to be super sexual or graphic. So we're going to be getting into that. I mean, I guess before we do, I should ask you, Do you feel like our interactions are particularly erotic? Brandon: I don't think that I'm an erotic person. I feel very self conscious whenever I'm [00:02:00] trying to do something that I think is erotic, whether I've seen it on, you know, TV, movie, somewhere, I feel like a goof doing it. So when I see people who are genuinely erotic and they just exude the sex appeal, I'm, I'm like, good on you because when I try that, I feel like I look like a goof. I don't know. Or I sound like a girl. Hey, Dr. Jess: yeah. No, but you are naturally charming. Like flirtation is sort of charming. You may not be overtly sexual about it.

Do you want to... Bicker less and catch yourself before you start? Stay calm and empathetic during conflict? Feel more at ease and connected so - that you're less inclined to fight? Tune in for a discussion - of why we bicker and 12 simple strategies to reduce conflict in relationships as Jess and Brandon weigh in on this listener question: "We love each other madly. He’s really the love of my life, and we don’t seem to have any big, deep issues because we’re really aligned - on values, family, spirituality, and the core issues. But we bicker a lot. I don’t like - the example we’re setting for our kids. How can we cut back on the daily bickering so our household is more at ease and we have more peace - because we both work from home." Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 340 How To Stop Bickering: 12 Strategies [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Let's bicker. [00:00:16] Brandon Ware: Let's, what are we going to bicker over? [00:00:18] Jess O'Reilly: You splashing all over the place in the bathroom. Like you're some sort of a hippo in the tub. [00:00:22] Brandon Ware: Well, I can't help it because the sink is too small. [00:00:25] Jess O'Reilly: Cause your head's big. [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: I got a big face. Well, you know what? You make a mess sometimes. [00:00:31] Jess O'Reilly: We absolutely suck. We suck at this. We're supposed to be talking about bickering today, but when you put us on the spot, listen, when we're in the middle of a bicker, we got it. [00:00:39] Brandon Ware: Things are real. [00:00:40] Jess O'Reilly: We've got it down, but to fake it seems really hard. [00:00:43] Jess O'Reilly: Uh, we're going to talk about how to stop bickering and having little daily arguments today. We have a question from, uh, from a listener, and this is a question I kind of get over and over. And over again, because life can be stressful and life can be busy. And I think that's one of the big reasons we bicker. [00:00:58] Jess O'Reilly: So before we dive into it, want to shout out our sponsors, Adam and Eve. com. They are offering 50 percent off almost any item plus free shipping, plus free handling, which is Brandon's favorite part with code Dr. Jess 50. So check out Adam and Eve. com. Bildos, vibrators, butt plugs, other fun things that you can use in your body. [00:01:19] Jess O'Reilly: Adam and Eve. com code. Dr. Jess 50. All right, let's dive right into it. [00:01:23] Brandon Ware: Let's, are we going to continue bickering or is, is this where it stops? [00:01:26] Jess O'Reilly: No, we're going to start bickering. [00:01:28] Brandon Ware: Let's do it. Yeah. Amazing. [00:01:29] Jess O'Reilly: Okay. So we have this note, uh, there's a bit of a preamble, but the bulk of it is we love each other madly. [00:01:35] Jess O'Reilly: He's really the love of my life. And we don't seem to have any big deep issues because we're totally aligned on values, family, spirituality, and all the core issues. But we bicker. A lot. I mean, nonstop. And I don't like the example we're setting for our kids. How can we cut back on the daily bickering so our household is more at ease and we have more peace because we both work from home? [00:01:59] Jess O'Reilly: [00:02:00] Yeah,

In this Q&A, Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener queries related to "work spouses", dealing with a partner who refuses to go to therapy and "love tattoos": "My husband has a coworker who introduced herself to me as his work wife. I didn’t even know how to respond. When I talked to him about it, he said she was just kidding around. I think it’s inappropriate. He says it’s no big deal. Who is right?" "What do you do if your partner refuses; to go to therapy - but the relationship is on the rocks? Asking for a friend." "I just turned 18, and I’ve been dating a guy - who is a few years older than me. He comes from money, so he’s shown me a lot of things I’ve never seen before. It has only been a few months, and he wants me to get a matching tattoo. What should I do?" Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 339 Candid Conversations: Managing the 'Work Spouse' and Therapy Avoidance [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, how are you doing? [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: I'm good. I can see that you're putting on a brave face. I am putting on a brave face. [00:00:26] Jess O'Reilly: You know how I know you're having a date. [00:00:29] Brandon Ware: How? What's my tell? What's my tell? Is it Terry's? [00:00:33] Jess O'Reilly: It's your, it's your left peck. It's my left peck. It's your left peck. It's that I saw the app from your ring on your phone and your stress was way up at the top. [00:00:42] Brandon Ware: So I have an Aura ring and it monitors all your vitals and they just released a stress feature. [00:00:48] Brandon Ware: I'm stressed out today. [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, left peck going hard. [00:00:51] Brandon Ware: I feel like some people need to talk it out with somebody other than me. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: So I think so many of us run into this. I'm not going to obviously speak specifically about your situation. I know what's going on, but I think that sometimes you have people in your lives. [00:01:05] Jess O'Reilly: Whether they be friends, or clients, or co workers, or just people in your family, who, they have their own anxiety, and they try and attenuate that anxiety through you. And I don't mean they're dumping their problems on you, but they may be actually, in your case, they are actually saying, here are my problems, fix them, even though you can't. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: But, They expect you to kind of jump and dance and twist and twirl around their anxiety as though their urgency is your emergency. [00:01:36] Brandon Ware: Ooh, that's a good one. I have heard that before, but their urgency is my emergency. Yes. [00:01:40] Jess O'Reilly: I think it's Luna who I first heard say that. [00:01:42] Brandon Ware: Was that Luna? Luna Matadas? [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: It rhymes, you know. [00:01:44] Brandon Ware: It rhymes. I love that. She's a rhymer. She's a plumber. Uh, I, I would agree with that wholeheartedly, and I think once you start paying attention to that, it's easier for me to realize that, Hey, listen, this isn't my problem. This is your problem. And I want to support you. I'm going to be compassionate in [00:02:00] understand...

How do you define cheating? And how do you recover once trust has been broken? How do you deal with sexual pressure from a partner? Womanizer Premium Eco Jess and Brandon weigh in on personal questions from listeners. They also share an offer from Womanizer in honour of Breast Cancer Awareness Month: if you're a survivor, request your Womanizer Premium Eco by emailing info at sexwithdrjess dot com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex & Relationship Q&A: Cheating, Trust & Sexual Pressure Episode 338 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey, hey, we're back at it after a week off. Are you, are you feeling rested? [00:00:19] Brandon Ware: I feel refreshed. [00:00:20] Jess O'Reilly: You do? [00:00:21] Brandon Ware: Not at all. [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: In 400 or so episodes, or maybe we're not quite at 400. I think we've only missed two weeks. [00:00:27] Brandon Ware: About three 50. And that's impressive that you've only missed. Two weeks. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: Is it? For me it is. For another person who's not as, uh, commitment phobic. Not that impressive, but apologies for missing last week. Not gonna get into it, but happy to, happy to be back chatting with you today, babe. Yeah, always happy to be here. [00:00:43] Jess O'Reilly: We've got some questions from some listeners that, uh, I'm always kind of intrigued by and intrigued to hear what you have to say and what others think. So we do have a bit of an alternative sponsor for Breast Cancer Awareness Month as well. Uh, because cancer diagnosis and treatment have repeatedly been shown to adversely affect sexual function. [00:01:03] Jess O'Reilly: We know that, for example, 83% of breast cancer survivors meet the clinical criteria for sexual dysfunction. We know that a very small percentage actually receive supports in this area. So our sponsored womanizer has. partnered with charity, the leading research hospital in Berlin for a breast cancer clinical study on sexuality and libido for breast cancer survivors. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: And they already have some preliminary data in this study showing that masturbating helps with libido loss and sexual self worth in breast cancer survivors who have undergone treatment. So I am looking forward to seeing some of those. Some of those formal results once published, and Erica Hart, who is a fellow sex educator, they're an activist, a breast cancer survivor themself, they advocate for an active pleasure approach to breast cancer survivors treatment. [00:01:51] Jess O'Reilly: They are also on board as part of the project. And the reason we're bringing this up is that Womanizer, you know I'm a fan of this brand, a huge fan of their [00:02:00] technology, Womanizer is giving away. a whole lot of premium ecos. So those are their premium version of womanizers, but they're recyclable. So they're made from recyclable material. [00:02:12] Jess O'Reilly: The product itself is recyclable. It uses less packaging, all that jazz. And so if you are a survivor and you're interested in a free womanizer premium eco, just let me know. So shoot an email over to our admin over here at sexwithdrjess, it's info at sexwithdrjess. com. Just let us know you'd like one and you need to send your name and shipping address and we'll have it shipped out to you. [00:02:37] Jess O'Reilly: So if you're a breast cancer sur...

In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome — for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on threesomes and discuss couples’ privilege. Check out the questionnaires below, and be sure to check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any item with FREE shipping + VIP rush processing. Threesomes: Self-Questionnaire Why do you want to have a threesome? Where did the idea of a threesome come from? How do you feel about this source? What benefits do you expect to derive from a threesome? What are the perceived risks/costs? With whom would you like to have a threesome? Do you know if they’re open to it? How might your relationship with your threesome mates change post-threesome? What excites you most about a threesome? What motivates you? What concerns you about a threesome? Do you have any hesitations? What emotional elements of a threesome have you considered? How will you manage potentially challenging emotions should they arise? Do you feel comfortable communicating your desires and boundaries? What conditions increase your comfort level with open communication? What does your ideal threesome entail? Consider the setting, relationships, involved parties, sex acts, etc... Threesomes: Managing Jealousy, Insecurity & Distress Am I comfortable admitting to feelings of jealousy, insecurity and distress? I tend to feel jealous/insecure/distressed when… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, it shows up in my body as…(emotional presence) When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I want to… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I can self-soothe by… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I’d like you to… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I don’t want you to… You’ll know when I feel jealous/insecure/distressed when I… Some other cues to look for include… Threesomes: Couples’ Questionnaire Whose idea was it? Do you feel any pressure? Have you (in)directly pressured your partner? Why do you/we want to have a threesome? What do you/we hope to get out of the experience? What are my/our concerns about the experience? Have we talked about jealousy, insecurity and other potentially challenging emotions we might encounter? What would it look like if it goes well? What might it look like if something goes awry? How will we communicate and respond? What do we value in a third party? What type of person do we want to connect with? Do we want to involve a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend and/or a sex worker? Have we considered our couples’ privilege and how we can ensure that all voices are heard and respected? And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 337 How To Plan A Successful Threesome [00:00:00] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. And I'm looking at Dr. Jess with a giant smile on her face. [00:00:05] Jess O'Reilly: You like that? It's a Terry Crews smile. [00:00:06] Brandon Ware: I do like that smile. [00:00:08] Jess O'Reilly: Okay. [00:00:08] Brandon Ware: Why are you so happy? [00:00:09] Jess O'Reilly: Because you walk past my laptop just now and I shut it. So you wouldn't see what was on it. [00:00:14] Brandon Ware: I, nothing shocks me. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Nothing surprises me. [00:00:16] Jess O'Reilly: It's not porn.

Most people fantasize about threesomes, but not many people - actually dive in. In part I of our Threesomes podcast, we dive into the data and get some practical advice from Justin Lehmiller - who answers your questions including: How common are threesomes? What counts as a threesome? How does a threesome affect relationships for couples? Who is having threesomes? How do people find threesomes (e.g. through apps like Feeld)? What’s the appeal of threesomes? Next week, we’ll dive into how to prep for a threesome with prompts, conversations and more! Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. All About Threesomes Episode 336 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are talking threesomes today and we are doing a throwback to a two part series with Dr. Justin Lehmiller on the doc today, because I received three questions about threesomes over the weekend and I think it's a sign. So here we go. Have a listen to this throwback with Dr. Justin Lehmiller. [00:00:27] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:38] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. [00:00:45] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are talking threesomes today and it fits that today's episode is brought to you by FIELD. And FIELD is the first dating app for couples and singles. They're a pioneer in allowing couples to kind of explore dating together as a pair, and they're open to all genders, all sexual identities, [00:01:13] Jess O'Reilly: all sexual orientations from basically for anyone who's interested in either ethical non monogamy or alternative relationship structures, or simply those who are curious and looking to kind of dip their toe into the pond. So do check them out. Field is spelt feel and a D so F E E L D and you can download the field app. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: It's free and you create a profile. And once you have liked someone and they've liked you back on the app. You become connections and you're able to chat. And if you want to, you can share photos and they also often offer an upgraded membership option with extra features. And yeah, so do check out FIELD. [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: They're one of the largest online communities for fun stuff like this. And it's interesting. I actually came across FIELD in my research a few years ago. when I was prepping a training for therapists on threesomes and ethical non monogamy and they really are the [00:02:00] perfect partner for this podcast because we're talking about threesomes and of course there are people on field looking for threesomes and later we're going to be talking with their expert Dr. [00:02:08] Jess O'Reilly: Justin Leigh. But before he joins us, I wanted to kind of dig into some of the data on threesomes. And later on, I also want to talk if we have time about how to prepare for a threesome, like in terms of communication and reflection and just topics to address before you start exploring. I don't know how much time we'll have. [00:02:27] Jess O'Reilly: I might have to split it into a couple episodes, but we will get there. It's interesting because when you think about. Threesomes. Don't you think porn has kind of made threesomes seem like, like they're the norm. Everybody's doing them. Yeah, I mean when

Curious about kink, spanking, ethical porn and how to have better sex? The inimitable King Noire shares his perspective of pleasure, pansexuality, performance and much more in this candid conversation with Jess & Brandon. King Noire is an accomplished and award-winning writer, porn performer, artist, Master Fetish Trainer, MC, and global activist using the proceeds of his album ‘Music Is My Weapon’ to build a school, freshwater well, and medical clinic in West Africa. He raises consciousness around kink safety for people of color, provides lectures on the decolonization of sexuality, and offers sex education to audiences ranging from college students to medical providers. Check out King Noire's website here, and follow him on his social media accounts - Instagram and Twitter. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Pleasure, Spanking & Masculinity with King Noire Episode 335 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are here in Atlanta at sex down south with the King Noir. I have to read your bio before you come on. It's the boys. King Noir is an accomplished award winning writer, porn performer. Artist, master fetish trainer, MC, we're going to be playing his music, global activist who uses the proceeds of his album, Music is My Weapon, to build a school, a freshwater well, a medical clinic in West Africa. [00:00:40] Jess O'Reilly: He raises consciousness around kink safety for people of color. He provides lectures on the decolonization of sexuality and offers sex education to audiences ranging from college students to medical providers to those of us in the field. You have a big following. Thank you so much for being here. [00:00:56] King Noire: Thank you. [00:00:56] King Noire: Thank you for having me. It's good to be back. All right. [00:00:58] Jess O'Reilly: So you just, you won a big award, a big award in the industry. So Urban X Awards, Pansexual Performer of the Year. [00:01:06] King Noire: Yep. [00:01:06] Jess O'Reilly: What's that mean, Pansexual Performer? [00:01:08] King Noire: Oh, shit. It's interesting because I think this might have been either one of the, either the first or one of the first years that they've actually had that as an award. [00:01:16] Jess O'Reilly: Okay. [00:01:17] King Noire: So I'm honored to win it either way. I think. Pansexual as I guess as a sexuality is kind of like you fuck who you're attracted to and you don't let Gender or orientation or anything like that get in the way of you fucking who you want to fuck. I like that That's that's how I define it and then I think for the award I think the reason that I was even nominated for that award is because I do a lot of work with trans performers as well as cisgender performers, so I was extremely honored to get it cuz We putting in work. [00:01:49] King Noire: So I want, I want to be honored for that work and it feels good to be honored by, you know, Urban X's is big in the industry. So it's like people are seeing it. People are acknowledging it. And a [00:02:00] lot of times they think that, you know, black men can't do it. So that's like one of those things. That's just another arena that we're looking to. [00:02:07] King Noire: Expand people's sexual pleasure and understanding. [00:02:11] Jess O'Reilly: And pleasure is pleasure, isn't it? [00:02:12] King Noire: Facts.

How do you cultivate deeper connections through communication? How can you summon compassion in the heat of conflict? How do you define non-violent communication? What is polyvagal theory? Sander T. Jones joins Jess and Brandon to explore these questions and share additional concepts from their book, Cultivating Connection: A Practical Guide for Personal and Relationship Growth in ethical non-monogamy. Sander is a licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and author in Atlanta, Georgia with over a decade of experience working with people in ethically non-monogamous relationships, people in the kink/BDSM/Leather communities, LGBTQ+ communities, and people doing voluntary sex work. As a relationship therapist they have taught hundreds of people the steps and principles for repairing relationship bonds and then deepening those bonds through collaborative communication, respecting the rights and autonomy of themselves and their partners, being aware of interpersonal power, and avoiding the abuse of that power when it arises in our relationships. You can contact Sander at SanderTJones.com and following on Facebook and Instagram. Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. A Guide to Compassionate Communication Episode 334 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: here in Atlanta at sex down south. And the reason you know, we're at six down south is that I have no voice left. [00:00:21] Brandon Ware: I was going to say, you got your sexy voice going on. [00:00:23] Jess O'Reilly: Oh my dear God. And it's not from being in the dungeon. [00:00:25] Jess O'Reilly: It's not from doing anything fun. I think it's just from dry air. [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: You should have said it was something fun. [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: I know. I know. I wish it was something more fun, but we are having a great time. And if you've ever listened before and heard me talk about Sex Town South, I think it's the most brilliant sex conference. [00:00:39] Jess O'Reilly: It is my absolute favorite. Uh, I'm such a massive fan of Marla and Tia, the founders. Marla, of course, is the coauthor of our latest book. And, uh, among the brilliant minds who are presenting here in Atlanta, we have with us right now, Sander T. Jones, a licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: Ooh, I want to ask you about that. author. Uh, you're located in Atlanta. You have over a decade of experience and you've recently released Cultivating Connection, a practical guide for personal and relationship growth in ethical non monogamy. Thank you for chatting with us. [00:01:08] Sander T. Jones: Thank you so much for having me. [00:01:10] Sander T. Jones: It's really an honor to be on your show. [00:01:11] Jess O'Reilly: Oh, well, we're, we're so appreciative. I'm excited to learn from you. I've looked over all of the wealth of info. in your latest book, Cultivating Connection. I think it's your first book, right? It is my first book. Yes. Congrats on that. Well, first and foremost, tell us about you. [00:01:24] Jess O'Reilly: Tell us a little bit about your background, professional, personal, anything you feel like sharing. [00:01:27] Sander T. Jones: Okay. Professional background.

Couples in The Lifestyle (AKA Swingers) practice a form of ethical non-monogamy that usually involves sex play with other singles and/or couples. In this quickie episode, Jess and Brandon discuss advice from three swinger couples who share their insights for happier relationships (and, by extension, hotter sex). If you're here for the Womanizer X Lovehoney Advent Calendar, CLICK HERE, and be sure - to use code DRJESS to save. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 3 Sex & Relationship Lessons From "Lifestyle" Couples Episode 333 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Dr. Jess, how are you feeling today? [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: I'm feeling all right. I'm feeling good. Talk to me. Why is that? We have just disembarked the Desire Cruise, and I don't know if this was maybe number six for us in terms of Desire Cruising, but we just came off a week in Greece with one stop in Turkey. [00:00:33] Jess O'Reilly: It was a lot of fun, but it was pretty intense. [00:00:34] Brandon Ware: Yeah, it was intense. [00:00:36] Jess O'Reilly: Lots of socializing. [00:00:38] Brandon Ware: Yeah, that's an understatement. I always like to party. Oh my gosh. I can't keep up. I don't know. I gotta, I gotta tell you, I don't know how they do it. They're up at like seven in the morning and they party hard until like three in the morning. [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: Is that, is that their schedule? I don't know. I'm asleep long before [00:00:52] Brandon Ware: that. I'm, I'm, I'm impressed. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: But it's super friendly crowd. Oh yeah. Like it's so much fun while you're on, but then, you know, when you come off of something that's so highly social, at least me. Oh, I feel like a total drop. I just need to be quiet for a bit. [00:01:07] Jess O'Reilly: Need some time to chill. Yes. Now we are also on route to Atlanta for Sex Town South via Toronto. Very excited for this. So this is definitely a quickie episode because we just don't have a lot of time. We're stopping in Toronto overnight. So that I can feed my dad and see my mom and my stepdad. Check on my plants. [00:01:26] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, drop off my cleats to my friend's house because I'm gonna, I need her to carry them to a tournament for me in Montreal. But what for? What are you playing? We're not talking about that right now. Okay, I play Ultimate and Brandon likes to make fun of it. [00:01:39] Brandon Ware: Hope Adam's listening right now. Adam Maurer. [00:01:41] Jess O'Reilly: Oh my gosh. [00:01:42] Brandon Ware: I feel like we've bonded over this. [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: Brandon calls it Frisbee. If I call it Frisbee, people who play Ultimate are going to get mad at me, but it's the least Ultimate. It's Ultimate. Anyhow, we have a short amount of time, so we are going to get in to three lessons that I learned from lifestyle couples on the cruise.[00:02:00] [00:02:00] Jess O'Reilly: Three lessons from swingers, basically. These couples are swingers now. Definitely not all the couples on the cruise are swingers or lifestylers. I want to say it's about 50 50. Yeah, I would, I would say so. But everybody's pretty open minded. There's a lot of, you know, playfulness. A lot of flirtation. A lot of flirtation, but not, uh, I don't know. [00:02:18] Jess O'Reilly: It feels pretty low pressu...

Happy couples from across the globe share their best advice for richer relationships. From the relational to the emotional to the sexual, the happiest couples - of all ages weigh in on what makes their relationships thrive. This episode is brought to you by Desire Cruises - a unique experience for adventurous couples! Join us as we cruise to the Greek Isles in August and the South of France next Spring 2024. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Top Relationship Tips From Happier Couples: 8 Secrets To Success Episode 332 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. [00:00:13] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. And today we are about to head out on the desire cruise. [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: That's right. We're hitting the Greek isles. We're hitting Turkey. You're going to make a cruise sound. [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: No, I'm, I'm so much more mature than that. [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: Don't you know me better? [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: I can see you. Yeah. Yeah. Why does your boat sound like a donkey? [00:00:34] Brandon Ware: I don't know. It just does. [00:00:35] Jess O'Reilly: If I heard that sound, I'm not getting on the boat. [00:00:37] Brandon Ware: Yeah. Okay. [00:00:37] Jess O'Reilly: So, pretty excited. This is, I don't know. Is this our sixth Desire Cruise? [00:00:41] Brandon Ware: I believe that it is. [00:00:42] Jess O'Reilly: We've been on pretty much all of them except the ones over New Year's because that's our week off. [00:00:47] Jess O'Reilly: And every time we're on board, I'm collecting information. Not necessarily... data, but people's insights and experiences because it's just such a broad range of guests here. So there are around 700 people on board. There are 44 countries represented. I don't have the breakdown of this specific cruise, but from the last one, a few months ago, from that, I know that there were of the 700, around 300 Americans, 50 Canadians, 57 Mexicans. [00:01:16] Jess O'Reilly: Handful from India, 16 Brazilians, another handful of Colombians, around a hundred from Europe. When I kind of look, okay, that's the UK. They've exited. I did. [00:01:29] Brandon Ware: I also did the German though, or maybe it was Austrian. [00:01:31] Jess O'Reilly: Actually UK is a big contingent. I don't know why I didn't write them down, but there's a good number from the UK. [00:01:36] Jess O'Reilly: Folks from New Zealand, Singapore, South Africa, Taiwan, a nice contingent from. Central and South America. So I met Chileans, Costa Ricans, Ecuadorians, Venezuelans, a handful from Lebanon. I met a couple from Korea. And so, and there's, there's kind of a broad age range, right there. I think there might be a couple who are quite young in their twenties, but just like a handful of, let's be [00:02:00] honest, women. [00:02:00] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. I don't think there's any guys in their twenties, then a handful in their thirties, many in their forties. And then a bunch in their fifties and beyond. And so for me, there's just so much learning here because people hail from all over the world. They come on this cruise for so many different reasons. [00:02:16] Jess O'Reilly: You know, I've spoken about this before that yes, it's clothing optional in certain areas. Yes, it's erotic themed. Yes, there are very interactive workshops and there's even a playroom should you deci...

Has your partner lied to you about their finances? Have you ever hid spending (or debt) from a partner? Do you and your partner disagree about money - saving, spending, sharing, etc? Do you struggle to talk about money without fighting? What constitutes 'cheating' or financial fidelity? Jess and Brandon discuss their experience with financial infidelity and dive into why people lie about money. They also share prompts & language to help you navigate sensitive conversations related to financial values. Be sure to check out Bloomi in a Target near you, or check out their website for your Bloomi needs. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Financial Infidelity & How To Talk About Money Episode 331 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:13] Brandon Ware: Today, we're going to be talking about financial infidelity, [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: talking about money, money, money, honey. Okay. Are we good at talking about money with each other? [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: I think we're good about talking about some aspects of money. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: Okay, let's start with the good. [00:00:31] Brandon Ware: I think we communicate a lot when it comes to certain investment opportunities. Oh, sure. Uh, things like that. Um, I think we're both generally on the same page in terms of how much money we have. So those are some good things. I don't know. What do you, what are your thoughts? [00:00:45] Jess O'Reilly: You know, it's funny. As soon as you start talking about money, especially, You know, with others in the room with us, so to speak, it's, uh, I get uncomfortable. Like I feel uncomfortable. [00:00:56] Brandon Ware: I grew up with the understanding that talking about money was something you did not do. And it's becoming much more open now where people talk about how much money they make at work and how much money, um, I guess they, they want to have in the future and how much they currently have. [00:01:10] Brandon Ware: But I did not grow up like that. You do not talk about money. [00:01:13] Jess O'Reilly: No, and we, we do need that transparency because one, you know, exercise of power from people who do have money, who control the resources involves convincing everyone that we shouldn't talk about it so we don't know about their billions and whatnot. [00:01:27] Jess O'Reilly: But I have to admit that it's definitely not in my background to talk about it. I can talk about it in specifics when it's relevant to the conversation. Like anytime I've done business with family, we've been very open, very straightforward about the projects themselves. But not about specifics that are personal. [00:01:45] Jess O'Reilly: So I feel a little bit nervous, but we're going to get into it. So, okay. You said we're good at talking about certain things. What do we struggle with? Do you think? [00:01:53] Brandon Ware: Sometimes I think that there's a difference in terms of where we want to spend our money and how we want to spend our money. [00:02:00] Um, so that's the first thing. [00:02:00] Jess O'Reilly: You mean I want to spend it? [00:02:02] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I want to spend our money too. I don't want to hoard. I don't want to hoard my money. Okay. I do want to spend it. I want to enjoy it. I think because of my upbringing, because about, I think there's an element of shame, of guilt,

Would you rather give up sex or social media? The results from a new Canadian study may surprise you! Jess and Brandon explore new research findings and answer a listener question about bellybutton fetishes -- the what, why and how. Find Bloomi in a Target near you, or check out their website for your Bloomi needs. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex Q&A, Alvinophilia & Sex vs. Social Media Episode 330 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight today. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: We are going to be talking about social media. And sex. And you've got a question about belly button fetishes. [00:00:24] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, really beautiful one. Okay, have you been on social media today? [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: Of course I have. Yes. [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: How soon after you wake up are you on social? [00:00:33] Brandon Ware: Within the hour. [00:00:34] Jess O'Reilly: Okay, that's not that soon. Yes. As soon as I get my phone, I'm like, I'm super important. Gotta scroll instagram. [00:00:41] Brandon Ware: I'm not interested in opening up right away because I know I also don't feel good when I'm on social sites. Uh, if I'm on. Instagram, like, why am I there? [00:00:51] Brandon Ware: If I'm there to, you know, to have a laugh or something like that, it's great. But what, what am I, what's the real issue? Like, why am I here? [00:00:58] Jess O'Reilly: I think you're there to, uh, look at dogs. [00:01:00] Brandon Ware: Yes. [00:01:00] Jess O'Reilly: Because your entire feed is dogs. [00:01:02] Brandon Ware: If you look at my search feed, it's all dogs. And it's also people. Slipping and falling when they're surfing and like snowboarding and stuff like that. [00:01:09] Jess O'Reilly: Shall we psychoanalyze that now? [00:01:10] Brandon Ware: Yeah, really. [00:01:11] Jess O'Reilly: Okay, so I bring, I bring up social media because this new Canadian study was published and in the study they looked at 750 participants between the ages of 16 and 30. So a little younger than us. Just a little. And they found that 8. 8% would rather give up sex than give up social media. [00:01:29] Brandon Ware: Really? [00:01:30] Jess O'Reilly: It's such, that's an easy one for me, sex or social media. [00:01:32] Brandon Ware: You'd give it up. [00:01:33] Jess O'Reilly: What? [00:01:34] Brandon Ware: The sex. [00:01:34] Jess O'Reilly: No, I wouldn't. You. Would you, would you give up sex or social media? No. Like, it's not even a thought for me. [00:01:38] Brandon Ware: Not even a question. I'd, I'd give up social media in a heartbeat. I want to give up social media right now. [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: I want to give up sex. No, just kidding. I got my fix. I'm good. [00:01:47] Brandon Ware: Yeah. [00:01:48] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. No, I, I mean, I'm on social media all the time. I definitely use it for work, but I use it for, I don't even want to say pleasure. It's just a distraction. for me, for the most part. I do a lot of learning on there. Like I [00:02:00] will say, I'm, I sit in admiration of a lot of accounts and do a lot of learning, but it's mostly just kind of random scrolling, uh, doom scrolling, as they call it. [00:02:08] Jess O'Reilly: So I would absolutely positively give up social media before sex, but. You know, I mean, still 8. 8% is a small minority, but a considerable minority.

Looking for a quick exercise to offset the potentially harmful effects of conflict? Jess & Brandon explore a 7-minute solution to support "cognitive reappraisal" as they share the details of their latest fight: the Popsicle incident. In one study, three simple 7-minute writing interventions over the course of a year were shown to improve relationship quality in newlyweds and long-term couples alike. Have a listen to learn more and give it a try yourself to improve your relationship in just 21 minutes per year. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Jess & Brandon's Latest Argument. And A 7-Minute Solution Episode 329 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Today we're going to be diving into an exercise that just brought to my attention and asked us or asked me to define or what would you say? Write out, explain our most recent argument. [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: Yes, from a neutral perspective. So we're going to try an exercise that has been shown to lead to happier relationships, and it relates to conflict and how we view it. And so basically, Brendan and I wrote out Why are you laughing? How we view because honestly, I can't even finish a sentence because we had to describe our most recent conflict from a neutral perspective, and I think we sound ridiculous. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: Like speed bags. It's about popsicles. I was going to say that. The conflict is about, it's about chill pops. [00:01:00] Brandon Ware: My headline for the, for this was the popsicle fight. [00:01:04] Jess O'Reilly: Oh my gosh. [00:01:04] Brandon Ware: I'm like, oh man. [00:01:06] Jess O'Reilly: Okay, let me give you a bit of background on this exercise. So, you know, it comes from this study where researchers from four different universities were working with 120 couples over the course of two years. [00:01:14] Jess O'Reilly: So some of these couples were newlyweds and some had been married for years. And during the first year of the study, all participants, all couples were assigned to write about the most significant marital conflict they had experienced in the previous four months. So they did this three times a year, and they were also collecting info on, you know, their relationship overall. [00:01:34] Jess O'Reilly: So intimacy, trust, passion, commitment, satisfaction, and love. So that's what they did in the first year. They, three times a year, they wrote about their most significant marital conflict. After year one, the whole group was divided in two. So one group, the control group, kept doing the same activity that they did in the first year, wrote about their most significant conflict. [00:01:52] Jess O'Reilly: But the second group, did an additional writing activity that took around seven minutes on average. And so the quote, [00:02:00] each partner wrote about the conflict from the perspective of an impartial observer who wants the best for both partners. So they did this three times a year and apparently it made a really significant difference. [00:02:12] Jess O'Reilly: Just writing about the conflict from a neutral perspective, from the perspective of somebody who wants. both parties to come out on top as a team. And with just three seven minute writing exercises or interventions, they saw really interesting results. And so I'll quote to you from the lead author a...

Do you struggle with rejection? How does your response vary from the boardroom to the bedroom? Do layers of your identity affect how you deal with rejection? We surveyed our community regarding their experiences of rejection, and we shared their insights in this week’s episode. We think it’s a great one! Thank you to those who sent messages. We appreciate you. Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save! And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 12 Strategies to Manage Rejection Intro: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Dr. Jess: Hey, hey, we are running a repeat podcast today on the topic of rejection because it's, it's a week of rejection emails. If you're going to rejection, that's my jam. I'm totally, let's go. Let's do this. It's your specialty? Receiving rejection or rejecting others? Both. Oh, really? Okay. Anyhow, we received so many questions about dealing with rejection this week. Sometimes these things come in waves and themes. And questions about rejection in and out of the bedroom. And a while back, we covered this topic, so we're gonna do it again, and I'm gonna share that episode with you, which is perfect for me, because we are down at my family reunion. Over 60 of us, Chinese [00:01:00] Jamaicans, Changs. Brandon: This is where the rejection came in. I tried so hard to talk to people, but they just kept rejecting and not listening to me. Dr. Jess: Well, my family's on transmit, not receive. Yeah, for sure. We talk more than we listen. Anyhow, we're down here, lots of distractions, lots of food, so much chaos, so much love, and I'm happy to get to enjoy it. So, without further ado, we'll throw it back to, I think March 2022. Here you go. Brandon: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess: Well, hello. Hello. We're going to be talking about rejection because we started talking about rejection last week by accident, sort of, and I got a lot of feedback actually on that episode and people had a lot of questions and maybe felt we didn't go as much into depth as we could have and also people shared their insights. So today we're going to talk about how to handle rejection and potentially boost confidence and I have insights from over a dozen people. who sent short messages, longer messages and all really helpful stuff, actually. Brandon: I feel like I did go very deep, [00:02:00] personally. Dr. Jess: Oh, it was to be clear, people weren't complaining, they just kind of wanted more of it. Oh, okay. Brandon: Well, I mean, rejection is something that everybody deals with, so let's Dr. Jess: do it. Yeah, and last week, actually, we talked about the fact that you don't feel badly when I reject you sexually. It's when it's otherwise. Mm hmm, yes. Yeah, and that's really interesting because one of the first comments I received, and then I received a number along this theme, is around why women can say no to sex, but when a guy says no, it's absurd or crazy, and there were a bunch of other kind of descriptions there. And it really does speak to these gender double standards that are rooted in, I think, social capital around, along gender lines, right? Men are supposed to always want sex, they're supposed to be good at sex, they're supposed to take it personally if a partner doesn't want them, and for women, it's a little bit different.

Rejection is a life skill. This week, Jess and Brandon revisit a previous conversation about how to deal with someone who pulls away without explanation. They share their own experiences, and weigh in on how to manage the "in-between" when you're not together but haven't quite split up. Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save! And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Manage Rejection Part 1 Episode 327 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are running a repeat podcast today on the topic of rejection because it's, it's a week of rejection emails. [00:00:10] Brandon Ware: If you're going to rejection, that's my jam. I'm totally like, let's go. Let's do this. [00:00:14] Jess O'Reilly: It's your specialty, receiving rejection or rejecting others. [00:00:17] Brandon Ware: Both. [00:00:18] Jess O'Reilly: Oh, really? Okay. Uh, anyhow, we received so many questions about dealing with rejection this week. [00:00:23] Jess O'Reilly: Sometimes these things come in waves and themes and questions about rejection in and out of the bedroom. And a while back, we covered this topic. So we're going to do it again. And I'm going to share that episode with you, which is perfect for me because we are down at my family reunion. Over 60 of us, Chinese Jamaicans, Changs. [00:00:40] Brandon Ware: This is where the rejection came in. I tried so hard to talk to people, but they just kept rejecting and not listening to me. [00:00:46] Jess O'Reilly: Well, my family's on transmit, not receive. We talk more than we listen. Anyhow, we're down here. Lots of distractions, lots of food, so much chaos. So much love and I'm happy to get to enjoy it. [00:00:57] Jess O'Reilly: So without further ado, we'll throw it back to I think March 2022. Here you go. [00:01:07] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:01:16] Brandon Ware: Welcome to sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other Dr. Jess. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: Hello. I'm glad you've stopped making those ASMR sounds. I can do it again for everyone. It's really creepy, your tongue ASMR sounds. [00:01:36] Jess O'Reilly: I like the sound. There you go. It's the look of your tongue coming out of your mouth I don't like. That's not the point. Ah, well tonight... We're having a quickie. It's the way I like it. I know. Cool brag. Cool, cool brag, bro. We're going to be talking about dating and what to do when someone pulls away. So not when they ghost you, but when they kind of back out out of nowhere. [00:01:57] Jess O'Reilly: So I did this interview. And people had sent [00:02:00] in this hodgepodge of questions. Hodgepodge? You're 90. Smorgasbord of questions about what to do when a love interest pulls back out of nowhere. So they said, for example, you're hitting it off and then all of a sudden things change. Text messages are sparser. [00:02:15] Jess O'Reilly: They used to text every day. They don't initiate contact like they used to, but they still respond to you or they're answering with like one word. Whereas they used to call and, you know, send essays, or they're saying that they're busy all of a sudden and don't have as much time, but then they come back and they're messaging you. [00:02:31] Jess O'Reilly: So basically, they're not communicating that they want to end things, but they're sort of dragging you along so you ...

A pregnant listener wants to know how to deal with hurt feelings; after her partner; interrupted a conversation to check out another woman. Jess and Brandon share their thoughts on how to deal with sensitive issues like body insecurity, affirmations and feelings of un-attractiveness during pregnancy and throughout life's transitions. Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Attraction & Body Image: Communication for Couples Episode 326 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. [00:00:14] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost Brandon here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess, and today we are talking about body insecurity and how we respond to our partners when they make requests. [00:00:27] Brandon Ware: I mean, it sounds like it would be very simple, but [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: there's always nuance, isn't there? [00:00:31] Brandon Ware: Always. [00:00:32] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. So we received a question from a woman who says she's pregnant with her third child. She's been with her partner for many years, and here's what she says. I've been entrusting him with my physical insecurities during this pregnancy, and I find it hard. [00:00:47] Jess O'Reilly: to see my body change in this way. So we were at the pool the other day, with our kids, and we were having this face to face conversation with, when suddenly, kind of mid conversation, he checks out this other woman getting out of the pool, in a very obvious way, very much in front of my face, so I'm feeling very hurt from this incident, because I've been really open about how I'm feeling about myself, and his attraction towards me, and I don't really know how to address this. [00:01:12] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, why don't you go? [00:01:14] Brandon Ware: You want me to start? I mean, okay, maybe he's a dick. Whoa. Maybe. Well, I mean, maybe it was also, he noticed something. I mean, I feel like in this circumstance, you got to pay attention to your partner and their request. They're saying, I need this from you. I feel this way. And I feel like perhaps this person didn't listen. [00:01:34] Brandon Ware: Isn't heeding their advice. Yeah. Heeding like, and responding to their request. [00:01:38] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. I'm thinking about folks who are going to say like, Oh, well you're responsible for your feelings, but come on. That's not the whole picture. Right. Right. I think we also. I know we have to be considerate of other people's feelings like we're not responsible for our partner's feelings entirely that but that doesn't mean we can't hurt their feelings you know if you're mid sentence with me and you stop paying attention not just to check someone out but just period I'm gonna have some [00:02:00] feelings if you stand me up I'm gonna have some feelings if you greet me with a big smile I'm likewise gonna have some feelings in response to you right so we say oh people are responsible for their own feelings but we don't live in a in a vacuum so um You know, if I've already told you that I'm feeling out of touch, I'm feeling uncomfortable with my body, and you're ogling someone else in an obvious way, I'm probably going to have some feelings. [00:02:21] Jess O'Reilly: And it's not necessarily that your ogling is entirely responsible for them,

Have you encountered scammers while dating online or in person? We received this query from a loyal listener: "I started dating after divorce (I was married way too young at 19 years old, I’m 28 now), and I’m devastated after being scammed. He took over 20K from me, which I know is not as bad as some of the stories in the media, but it’s a lot for me. The worst part is I really did love him, and now I’m nervous to even; date again. I live in a smaller town, so online is really my only option unless I want to date someone from my high school who has already dated half of my family. I’m exaggerating, but for real online dating is my only option. How do I make sure; this doesn’t happen again, and also; how do I deal with the embarrassment? I’ve had to move home with my parents (I’m lucky we get along so well), but I haven’t told anyone why." Romance scams are more common and sophisticated than you may think. According to the Federal Trade Commission in the USA, in 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam with losses of $1.3 billion. And it's growing year over year. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre received 1,928 reports of romance scams totalling $64,604,718 in losses, compared to 1,546 reports and $28,989,750 in losses in 2020. An estimated 5% of victims report romance scams, so this number is much higher in reality. Jess and Brandon share their perspectives on how to date with confidence and protect yourself in the changing dating landscape. Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Romance Scams & How To Date Safely Episode 325 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:14] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Brandon, your cohost here with the lovely Dr. Jess. [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, I'm a new woman today. [00:00:22] Brandon Ware: Why is that? [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: Because I discovered the excitement of an electric bicycle. [00:00:27] Brandon Ware: It's, it's, it's a whole new world. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: For the whole bike ride yesterday, I was like, this is a whole new world. Did you hear me screaming it? [00:00:35] Brandon Ware: Is it because you didn't actually ride the bike? [00:00:38] Jess O'Reilly: No, so I didn't know that these electric bikes, you just touch the pedal and then they move for you. So I'm not good on a bicycle. Yeah, we know that. Yeah, like I get on a bicycle for 10 minutes and I'm in pain and I know that I need to get like my pelvic floor fixed, but I've torn my hamstrings so many times that something about sitting on a bike doesn't work for me. [00:00:57] Jess O'Reilly: Like I usually rollerblade next to my friend Mel who cycles and I have to bust my ass on blades and I have no problem with that. But the. Bicycle hurts my butt. [00:01:05] Brandon Ware: Yeah, no, it's not. My sits bones hurt today. [00:01:08] Jess O'Reilly: Until yesterday, because it's still hurt to sit on it. But anyhow, you just touch the pedal and the bike moves for you. [00:01:15] Jess O'Reilly: And I'm probably 10 years behind everybody else, but I'm super excited about this because I don't know, it opened up a whole new city to us. We were able to go way across the city and here it's, you know, traffic's so bad that it's faster on a bicycle than getting in a taxi and I think...

How does your relationship affect desire and libido? How do you rekindle connection and desire after breaking up and then reuniting? How do you rebuild trust when you get back together? In this episode, we respond to a listener question: her partner left her and then returned, and now she's dealing with low libido and painful sex. We discuss the complexities of rekindling desire, reigniting the flame and rebuilding trust. Don't forget to go back and listen to these related episodes: Painful Sex: It's Not In Your Head How To Get Your Libido Back If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Q&A Quickie: Sexual Desire & Painful Sex Episode 324 [00:00:00] You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we've got a quickie episode for you, babe. How are you doing today? [00:00:19] Brandon Ware: I'm awesome. Thank you. How are you? [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: I'm good. I'm good. We are in the heat of summer. We're in Barcelona, our now second home. [00:00:27] Brandon Ware: It's hot and it's hot. [00:00:28] Jess O'Reilly: I guess it's our first home now, but the streets are super packed with tourists. Of course. It's a really young city. Like, I definitely am on the, I feel like I'm on the older side here. I don't know when that happened. You wake up one day and then you're old. [00:00:43] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I mean, yes. Welcome to my world. [00:00:46] Jess O'Reilly: Young people here for a ton of music festivals, right? [00:00:48] Jess O'Reilly: I feel like there's just a music festival every weekend here, and so I stumble trying, trying to be one of the cool kids. I never go to the music festival, so no. I'm like, I'm in bed before they start dinner here in Barcelona. They eat dinner at 11 o'clock at night. [00:01:01] Brandon Ware: Yeah, you gotta gotta find that early. [00:01:03] Brandon Ware: It's kinda like being in Florida. [00:01:05] Jess O'Reilly: I need the senior special. Absolutely. Well, actually it's weird. It's easy to adjust to the lifestyle here, I've found, because the sun goes down at like 10 o'clock at night. [00:01:13] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I feel ridiculous when I'm wrapping up my day getting ready for bed and I can hear kids playing inside. [00:01:19] Jess O'Reilly: But it's also, I find we end up going to dinner later because it's so bright out, right? Like seven and eight o'clock at night. Everything's. Alive, sort of like the Sanka set, like the um, after work thing back, back in Toronto and in North America. But I was thinking about music festivals because you see, um, every weekend there seems to be a change of attire on the streets. [00:01:40] Jess O'Reilly: Cuz I guess different festivals attract different demographics and there tends to be a look, right? Like when you think about Coachella, there's a look, I know people dress differently, but there's some thematic elements and love honey with whom I'm good friends. They did a, a survey. To find out how many people are actually having sex. [00:01:57] Jess O'Reilly: At these music festivals. Have you, have you had sex at a concert? [00:01:59] Brandon Ware: [00:02:00] No, I have not had sex. I, no,

https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/Dr.-Antony-Chum-Website-Promo-1.mp4 What's the difference between an ally & an accomplice? How do health risks intersect with sexual orientation? What can we do to support those who are at greater risk? Why are discussions of interracial and mixed orientation relationships essential to DEI + justice work? Dr. Antony Chum of York University joins Jess and Brandon to discuss his recent research, which explores the link between sexual orientation and self-harm -- including the finding that bisexual women are three times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual women and gay men and lesbians are twice as likely as straight folks to engage in suicide-related behaviours. They discuss both causes and solutions -- on both personal and policy levels. Sexual expression and freedom for all are essential to pleasure for each of us, so this is an essential conversation for folks of all gender identities and sexual orientations. Antony is the Canada Research Chair (tier 2) in Population Health Data Science. Drawing on the disciplines of social epidemiology, geospatial analytics, and machine learning, Antony’s research investigates the social and built-environmental determinants of health and evaluate policies to build healthier cities and communities, especially for marginalized groups such as the homeless, low-income, racialized, and LGBTQ+ people. His research approach combines population health data sciences (“big data” analysis) and the application of rigorous social theories (e.g. intersectionality, social ecological theory, minority stress theory, etc.) to investigate social determinants of health and to evaluate interventions aimed at eliminating health disparities. And don't forget to follow Dr. Antony on his Twitter. Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Be An Ally & Accomplice Episode 323 [00:00:00] You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice You Can Use Tonight. [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: Hello. Hello. Good day to you. Today we are talking about a number of topics, including what it really means to be an ally, and we're gonna look at the distinction between allies and accomplices. You know, this week I just hosted a, a session. [00:00:28] Jess O'Reilly: That I, I loved working with this group on healthy relationships as a key component of d e I and justice work, and it was with Com community and government reps in Southern Ontario. Uh, and I think that, you know, a big part that of d e I or justice work that's left out is just the relationship piece around interracial relationships, mixed orientation relationships, and. [00:00:47] Jess O'Reilly: Brandon and I of course have talked about our personal experience, but the leaving out of these topics, their absence, I think is at a huge cost. So we're gonna get into that shortly. Quick reminder, since we're on the topic, we have an old podcast on our interracial and our mixed orientation relationship where we talk a little bit, well, really I talk about my needs and Brandon Ways in. [00:01:08] Jess O'Reilly: So if you can go back, uh, and have a listen to that one and please share. It's a few years old, but, uh, but still relevant. So we're gonna dive into that. But we're all. Also going to be talking about a really important study out of York University,

Why do we develop fetishes and kinks like heirophilia and small penis humiliation? How do you tell a partner about a specific desire, fantasy or kink? What are the costs of not opening up about a kink or fetish? If you’re into something and they’re not, how can you bridge the gap? Carli DeVille, the ultimate guide to all things tantalizing and titillating, joins us to answer these questions are much more. As a sexologist, licensed psychotherapist, and relationship coach, Carli specializes in kinks, fetishes, sissification, and domination training. With their unapologetically flirty approach and extensive expertise, they help individuals and couples navigate their deepest desires and embrace their naughty side. Carli's passion for empowering others to celebrate their sexuality shines through in their role as the captivating host of the Naughtylicious Sex Podcast. Here, they delve into sizzling topics, address intriguing intimacy issues, and ignite open conversations about everything from the every day to the forbidden. When they're not offering sex coaching or hosting their podcast - Carli can be found captivating their YouTube audience with their magnetic personality and salacious advice. Whether it's discussing the latest sex trends or providing guidance on spicing up your love life, Carli's wit and charm keep viewers coming back for more. As your guide to unlocking hidden pleasures and unleashing your inner vixen, Carli DeVille is the perfect companion on your journey to a more passionate, fulfilling, and deliciously naughty life. No question is too naughty, and no fantasy is too wild for this audacious expert. So go ahead, dare to explore, and let Carli show you the way with their irresistible wit, charm, and naughty sense of humour. Follow Carli online, on YouTube, and the Naughtylicious Podcast (Apple Podcast or Spotify). Also, be sure to check out their brand - new book. This episode is brought to you by Desire Cruises - a unique experience for adventurous couples! Join us as we cruise to the Greek Isles in August and the South of France next Spring 2024. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Explore Kinks & Fetishes Episode 322 [00:00:00] You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you Can Use Tonight. [00:00:13] Jess O'Reilly: Today we are talking kinks and fetishes, and this is gonna be a good one. We've talked about kinks and fetishes before, and just as a brief, Brief recap. Kink generally refers to anything unconventional, which of course, you know what's unconventional for me may not be unconventional to you. [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: It might be your regular Monday afternoon routine. And fetishism different than kink generally refers to an actual need for a specific act or object to be present in order to experience arousal and satisfaction. So again, kink is more of a preference, and then fetishism tends to be more of a strong, strong preference or need. [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: And here to help us break it down. We have sexologist and psychotherapist, Carly Deville, host of the Naughty Licious Sex podcast, and author of a book by the same name, Naty Licious. And first and foremost, tell us all about your brand new book. [00:01:04] Carli DeVille: Oh, hello. So good to be back. So my book, it's actually kind of like a hybrid. [00:01:11] Carli DeVille: It's a book. But more importantly, it's a game. So what I kind of did was, you know,

When is it okay to pass gas in front of a new partner? Is it ever okay to snoop in their messages? Should you ask about their past? When should you introduce kids to a new partner? We don't have their answers, but we share our imperfect thoughts on your "when is it okay to...?" questions. Get 15% off with by using the Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Q&A Quickie: Passing Gas, Snooping & Ex-Lovers Episode 321 You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. [00:00:14] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon here with my Love. The other half, Dr. Jess. [00:00:20] Jess O'Reilly: Hey. Hey, today's a quickie. [00:00:22] Brandon Ware: Yeah, I love quickies. [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: You do love a quickie. Just get it over, wham. Bam. Thank you, ma'am. [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: Yeah, just when there's time constraints, I'm down. [00:00:28] Jess O'Reilly: All right. So we are, we're on the road this week, so we're gonna keep it kind of short, but I think it's an interesting topic. I've been trying to kind of group together some of the questions that come in for the podcast thematically, and today is about timing. [00:00:41] Jess O'Reilly: Relationship milestones. So when is it okay to fart in front of your partner? When is it okay to introduce kids to a new partner? When is it okay to snoop on your partner's phone, et cetera, et cetera. I'm sure you have some thoughts on those. I do. Uh, but before we dive into that, I wanted to quickly talk about a study that's sort of relevant, not sort of extremely relevant to you and me, and, uh, let's make it about us. [00:01:06] Jess O'Reilly: This is a study outta Michigan that found that one in five adults do not plan on ever having children. [00:01:13] Brandon Ware: I found that number very high initially when you said it to me. 20% seems a lot higher than I I, I think the general population, but again, this is representative of the entire. Us? [00:01:24] Jess O'Reilly: Well, yeah, [00:01:24] Brandon Ware: that it's a sample. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: So this is a sample out of Michigan. But what they said in the study is that the, it's a state whose population is representative of the US more generally in terms of demographics. So it's a, it's a, it's a good sample and so they consider it nationally representative and 20% not having kids. Now, that sounds really high, but if you look around us, especially in our closest friend circle, so many of us don't have kids. [00:01:50] Brandon Ware: I mean, I, I, the last studies in Canada that I read, I think our birth rate was neutral. Without immigration, we would be alright. It might actually be negative, but I think we'd be [00:02:00] du our country would be shrinking. [00:02:01] Jess O'Reilly: Shrinking. Yeah. And our land is just like massive. We need some people. Well, we're bringing a lot, which is great. We need people to come in and, uh, yeah. Cuz you know, jerks like us aren't having kids. [00:02:11] Brandon Ware: Yeah. Yeah. [00:02:12] Jess O'Reilly: It's interesting because this is a huge topic and we're not gonna, you know, spend forever on it. Maybe we can do a full episode on it. But there definitely, for me as a woman, I do think I'm seen as selfish for not having kids. I don't know if you, you probably don't get that as a dude. I don't know.

What are swallowing disorders? Who can benefit from the support of a Swallowologist? Can you learn to control your gag reflex? What do therapists need to learn from SLPs? Scientist and professor; Dr. Ianessa Humbert joins Jess and Brandon to address these questions and more. Dr.Humbert has been on faculty at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, the University of Florida, and the University of Iowa. She has also co-founded a range of online learning tools including STEP (Swallowing Training and Education Portal), lovingly known as Swallowing Netflix. The content from Dr. Humbert’s courses are supported by scientific evidence from her laboratory, from the larger body of research literature, and of course, common sense! Follow along and learn more about her work on Instagram and Twitter. Get 15% off with by using the Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Swallowing, Gag Reflexes & SLPs Episode 320 [00:00:00] You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost Brandon here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: Happy to be back on solid ground. I bet you are. Yeah. The, the world is still moving for me. After getting off the cruise, [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: how long does that last for you? [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: For most people, it lasts like a day or two for me, I'm, I'm still going in, I, I don't know if it's because I feel like I'm swaying back and forth gently, like I'm still on the boat, but also just spending a week with so many happy couples. On the desire cruise. I just can't stop reflecting on all the lessons, all the conversations. [00:00:48] Jess O'Reilly: It's kind of interesting, right? Rather than having, you know, intense sessions with individuals or individual couples. You talk to so many people over breakfast, lunch, dinner, walks in the port, and the big lesson, my big takeaway, and I've been posting about this on Instagram with more specificity. My big takeaway from the whole cruise and all these couples is do not wait. [00:01:10] Jess O'Reilly: Like act now in your relationships, but also in life. If you're unhappy, don't assume that things will get better. Don't leave it the first sign, but also don't stick around or stay quiet because what, what we're hearing is, you know, you'll blink and 2, 4, 10, 20 years pass you by. And on the flip side, you know, kind of off the cruise from other people. [00:01:31] Jess O'Reilly: I'm hearing from so many people right now who are. Unhappy in their relationships. I mean, to the point that they're down so much of the time, like they can't focus on work because they're preoccupied with conflict or hurt or stress or betrayal in their relationships. And what I'm really saying seeing is that they don't wanna face it. [00:01:49] Jess O'Reilly: You know? So they focus on their kids instead, and there's an avoidance. They're really not ready for either the tough conversations or in many cases, the tough decision, right? [00:02:00] This is what I'm seeing. So the decision is, do I wanna stay? Partners, like life partners with someone who isn't a fit for me or whose behavior causes me ongoing distress for months, for years. [00:02:11] Jess O'Reilly: Do I wanna say with someone who cheats or someone who refuses to have sex or even talk about it...

Curious about anal pleasure and rimming? Luna Matatas has you covered. She shares tips for oral, seduction, confidence and more. Luna Matatas is a Sex and Pleasure Educator with over 15 years of experience teaching sex and empowerment workshops. She celebrates body confidence, self-adoration and building shame-free pleasure in and out of the bedroom. She teaches 30+ sexy skills topics - including threesomes, BDSM and sexual confidence. She created Peg the Patriarchy® and Meditate Medicate Masturbate® brands as part of her sex-positive and feminist merchandise. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Backdoor Pleasure with Luna Matatas Episode 319 [00:00:00] You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and Relationship Advice you Can Use Tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: I love Zeik belt. It's a belt zk accent is not good. So I am trying, you know, the bird, the hair on the chin is, uh, It's a build of z [00:00:27] Jess O'Reilly: dicks. If you try and order an oat milk latte in Paris, what do they say? [00:00:32] Jess O'Reilly: No, [00:00:33] Brandon Ware: no milk. The animal with the tea, [00:00:38] Jess O'Reilly: if it eat from a tea, it's not milk. Milk [00:00:41] Brandon Ware: is not milk. It's O water. [00:00:45] Jess O'Reilly: It's o, o, [00:00:46] Brandon Ware: o o o o [00:00:48] Jess O'Reilly: o. Folks. I don't know how we got here. [00:00:52] Brandon Ware: This is the Sex with Z. Yes. Podcast. Anna. I'm sorry, I, I default back to my original language and the is here today. She drew the penis on my Chapelle. [00:01:13] Brandon Ware: I'm sorry, my head. [00:01:15] Jess O'Reilly: Today we're at the Sexology Summit in DC and Luna took a picture of Brandon to post on Instagram, and I don't know why she put so many eggplant on his head. Was [00:01:25] Brandon Ware: very many eggplants I not enjoyed very much. [00:01:29] Jess O'Reilly: What is the perfect amount of dicks on your head? Um, in [00:01:32] Brandon Ware: this particular instance, it was perhaps southern [00:01:37] Jess O'Reilly: Exactly. [00:01:38] Jess O'Reilly: Is it seven? Cuz ice cream doesn't have [00:01:40] Brandon Ware: bones because Yes, that is correct. And oats do not have tits to milk. No oat milk. [00:01:46] Jess O'Reilly: Listen, our job as podcast host is, you know, it's really to make our guests shine, but this is all the Brandon show. I'm okay with this. Welcome today. who are gonna tune out of this just to get away from your voice. [00:01:59] Jess O'Reilly: So [00:02:00] Luna Matata is here. She's a superstar. You're an absolute superstar. Anytime. I can't. Make something, or even if I don't think I'm right, the right fit for it, Luna is my number one pick to stand in and every client raves about her. Every brand is thrilled with her. And you have basically a gazillion webinars online. [00:02:22] Jess O'Reilly: Everything from Eat Pussy, like a Champ to dominant skills. Do you do anything on submission? [00:02:27] Luna Matatas: I do. I have sexy skills for submissive and dirty talk for submissives. Hmm. Are you a switch? I am a switch. Okay. I'm a reading switch. I have a switch [00:02:35] Jess O'Reilly: skills class. Oh, you have a switch skills class, and then you have, do you have like dick pleasure classes as [00:02:40] Luna Matatas: well? [00:02:40] Luna Matatas: Yes. Uh, bj, like a boss. Uh, penis pleasure hand, job [00:02:44] Jess O'Reilly: skills.

Performance pressure can affect pleasure and sexual response from the desire to erections to orgasms and more. In this episode, Jess and Brandon discuss: The most common sources of performance pressure How to talk to a partner about your experience with performance pressure Strategies to reduce pressure and increase pleasure Mindful touch exercises to offset the symptoms of performance pressure Techniques to tune into pleasure Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Get Over Performance Anxiety Episode 318 [00:00:00] You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Oh, way to start the podcast. So you knew what I was doing. Yeah, of course I did. I'm making the cruise sound because we're heading out on a cruise tomorrow. [00:00:30] And that's, isn't that the sound They le they they make when they leave point. It's mine. It's not the tutut little engine that could woo your Sounds like a donkey. No, yours sounds like a donkey. You've heard a donkey go-to too? No. What you just did. You were he, have you ever ridden a donkey? Probably, yeah. [00:00:46] When? When I was a kid. I don't know why there were always donkeys in Jamaica to ride. No. Like they'd come by and try and get you to ride the donkey and, but did they say it was a horse? No, I don't know what they said, but there was definitely a donkey and I remember I never had on clothes. So all the pictures of just are genocide. [00:01:02] Naked? Not naked. I had on underwear. Oh, okay. Um, on a donkey. I'm gonna pull up those pictures. Make it the, the profile picture. Profile picture for this, for this one, for this episode. Anyhow, we're heading out on the Venice Rome Cruise with Desire Resorts Clothing optional. I'm there for work, which means I'll be hosting a couple couples workshops. [00:01:20] Will you be riding a donkey topless? Listen, if you wanna ride a donkey topless. Desire cruise, that is the place to do it. Well, actually, on the last cruise, we were on a cruise with them a few months ago, and we were, we went through the Greek aisles. And if anyone's ever been to Santorini, you know, there's a couple of ways to get up the hill when you dock at the bottom. [00:01:40] So you can walk mostly through donkey crap. You can, which is what we did. Which is what we did. Yes, yes. Because there was a six hour line to take the, uh, the funicular, or I don't know what you call it. Some sort of cable car. Yeah, there's a line for the cable car or you can take the donkeys, but I didn't have like five euros, so we walked up through the donkey poo. [00:01:58] It would be [00:02:00] very sexy if somebody had had taken off their top and wrote it up. This switchback mountains. Side full of donkey crap. There was no, there was nothing sexy about it. Do you remember? It was so incredibly hot and it smelled like poopoo. Yeah, we got, but then you got back on the boat and the boat was sexy. [00:02:17] The boat was amazing, and I have to stop calling it a boat. It's a ship. It's a yacht. Anyhow, this time we're going to, we're starting in cia, so just. You know, part of the Venice Lagoon, and then we're heading to two stops in Croatia. Then we're stopping in Montenegro.

Curious about how to overcome sexual repression and boost sexual self-esteem? Dr. Tara has you covered. She joins Jess to share her personal story of sexual empowerment -- from shame to She also shares tips to improve sexual communication even if your partner isn't 100% on board. Dr. Tara is a Los Angeles-based sex and relationship expert, a tenured professor of sexual and relational communication (CSUF), and the viral sex ed creator at Luvbites. Stay up to date with Dr. Tara by following her on her social media accounts. (TikTok, Instagram, Twitter). And take a listen the podcast Luvbites by Dr. Tara Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Improve Sexual Self-Esteem & Communication Episode 317 [00:00:00] You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. [00:00:16] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey. I am without Brandon today, but I am going to be interviewing in just a moment. The fabulous Dr. Tara. She's a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. She was tenured at a very young age at 33. She is an award-winning. Researcher, a sex and relationship coach. [00:00:36] Jess O'Reilly: She is the host of Love Bys by Dr. Tara podcast, and there she focuses on sexual wellness and sex exploration. Her work is featured in all sorts of media. I've seen her on K T L A News, Cosmo Women's Health Magazine, insider, and many more. And I'm excited to have this conversation and learn more about sexual self-esteem and sexual communication. [00:00:58] Jess O'Reilly: Dr. Tara, thank you so, so much for being here. I watch you from afar on Instagram, on TikTok. I know you have, you have a master's, you have a doctorate in interpersonal communication. Uh, tell me a bit about your story. How did you end up working in sexual communication? [00:01:14] Dr. Tara: Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited I follow you from afar as well, Dr. [00:01:18] Dr. Tara: Jess. So I'm really excited to be here. Well, my story really started, we have to start it from the very beginning. I am originally from Thailand, Bangkok. Have you been? I've [00:01:29] Jess O'Reilly: been, I love it. I have family there. It's one of my favorite cities. Like I prefer the city to the beaches. Yeah. [00:01:36] Dr. Tara: I swear people that know how to do Bangkok really love Bangkok. [00:01:40] Dr. Tara: So that's where I grew up. I went to an all girls Catholic school in Thailand where you know, As a woman, uh, you learn early on in life that your body is something that you shouldn't, like advertise or be confident about. Uh, because we wore these [00:02:00] uniforms and our skirt has to cover our knees. Because, you know, knees are sexy. [00:02:05] Jess O'Reilly: Every time I see a knee, I'm like, I wanna lick that thing. [00:02:09] Dr. Tara: Yeah. So our skirt had to cover our knees, and if the skirt doesn't cover the knees, we get hit on the hands. Oh. So imagine being like eight years old. That's first grade. Right. And that was your learning about your body. And how you should exist in the world as a girl. [00:02:27] Dr. Tara: You know, when I tell people this, some of my friends back home are like, oh, it doesn't matter. Most schools have like uniform code, but I think it's because they haven't thought about it deeply. And I have,

Curious about what other people get up to behind closed doors and online? Carly from AURORE is here to share. She collects confessional sex stories submitted by people from all over the world. Tune in for her story and; a sampling of real-life literary (and audial) erotica. Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: Real-Life Sex Confessions: AURORE [00:00:00] You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hello. Are you looking for a new job? Are you in the market for a new career? It depends what it is. [00:00:27] What are you selling me? Well, I'm proposing you try out for the Orgasm Advisory Board for love, honey. I'm, I'm intrigued. Tell me more. So they're looking to hire a diverse group of 10 sex toy testers from all experience levels. So from somebody who has all the sex toys, which is pretty much you, to somebody who's brand new and every. [00:00:50] Thing and everybody in between. In between. So they're looking to improve basically the quality and inclusivity of their products over at Love Honey. And that's really why, why I'm here today. I'm here in Toronto because there's an event in Toronto. They're going on the road. Basically, they're taking this not antique road show on the road to 16 different cities where we're going to be recruiting sex toy testers and doing a bunch of games and giveaways and stuff on the street as well. [00:01:14] But hold on, it's a real job. It's a job. I don't wanna mess up the details, but it pays a thousand dollars. For the year and every month you get around, okay, around $250 of sex toys that you test out and you provide feedback. I, I would 100% apply for this job. Are you going to, can I put in hold? You get paid to touch yourself and they're gonna send you toys to help you touch yourself. [00:01:36] That's exactly. That's it. Get paid for pleasure. They were in New York, I think over the weekend, this past weekend and this weekend they're heading to Austin, Texas. They're heading to Toronto, Ontario, which is where I'm going to be. They're also gonna be in Denver, Colorado, San Francisco, uh, Phoenix. And then next weekend they're in Philadelphia. [00:01:55] I'm kind of mad that I won't be there. I wish I could be in Philadelphia and next weekend they'll also be in [00:02:00] Chicago and Montreal. And Las Vegas and Seattle and Atlanta and Miami and Houston. And then they're heading to Cheyenne, Wyoming. And I think, you know, the reason they've picked these markets has to do with the way people are purchasing sex toys. [00:02:14] And I think that Wyoming one was, uh, at the bottom of the list in terms of per capita sex toy investments. So they need people to step up their game In, in what city again? Cheyenne, Wyoming, Cheyenne. There you go. If you're there, message me. I'm gonna get you a toy. I'm getting kicked. Yeah. Anyhow, if you are in Toronto this weekend, come on down. [00:02:33] I'm gonna be Saturday afternoon somewhere near the skydome, and we're gonna be, there's gonna be a whole recruitment team there. I'm not a part of the recruitment team. I'm there, you know, helping with any interviews or any questions that people have and there's games and there are probably going to be, Free vibrators if you participate. [00:02:49] So That's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. They sign me up. Well, there are only nine spots left cuz Brandon just took one. I just took, yes. I think it's a conflict of interest. I don't think you'll get in. I did, I, I think I bring an element of expertise given how much I have touched myself and how many toys I have. [00:03:04] Well,

Are your sleep habits adversely affecting your relationships? Is a lack of sleep affecting your sex life? Do you want to sleep better and wake up rested? Board-certified sleep expert Ellen Wermter joins us to share her top tips for a better night's sleep and why sleep is essential to happy relationships. Ellen Wermter is a Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner through the American Nurses Credentialing Center and a member of Sigma Theta Tau National Honor Society. She earned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing at the University of Virginia and her Masters of Science at Virginia Commonwealth University; and is a member of the Virginia Council of Nurse Practitioners (VCNP). Ellen is a dedicated sleep professional both board-certified in behavioral sleep medicine (DBSM) as well as being certified in cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia and who actively treats patients full-time. In her free time, Ellen prefers to be outside in nature - and stays active running; and practicing yoga. She lives on a farm with her husband and four children - where she grows apple trees and keeps honeybees. She also enjoys singing loudly in the car and rarely gets the lyrics right. Check out the BetterSleep.Org to learn more about the Better Sleep Council. Stay up to date with the Better Sleep Council by following them on their social media from Twitter to their Instagram accounts. Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to improve sleep for better relationships (and better sex) Episode 315 [00:00:00] You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Jessica O'Reilly: Hey, babe, are you well rested? No, I am not. When was the last time you felt well rested? [00:00:21] Brandon Ware: It's been a very long time. I can't remember the last time I woke up and felt refreshed. I don't think I ever wake up and feel refreshed. [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: You know, some people wake up and they spring outta bed. Me, I fall outta bed because I'm still [00:00:33] Jessica O'Reilly: asleep. So Did you have a good sleep last night? I slept well, but not very long. Yeah, it was a little bit of an nap. We had an early morning flight today. [00:00:40] Brandon Ware: Yeah, we did. When was the, here's the real question. When did you last have a full night's sleep where you felt well [00:00:45] Jessica O'Reilly: rested? [00:00:46] Jessica O'Reilly: Okay, so I do sometimes feel well rested, but I swear I don't [00:00:49] Brandon Ware: sleep. Oh my God, you 100%. You don't sleep. I like [00:00:53] Jessica O'Reilly: sleep with one eye open. [00:00:55] Brandon Ware: You're like a dog. You always got one eye open. [00:00:57] Jessica O'Reilly: Yeah. Just to see what, what happens next. Don't miss anything. We're gonna be talking about how sleep affects our overall health, our relational health, sexual health, all that jazz. [00:01:06] Jessica O'Reilly: We have an expert because I am the anti expert, not anti expert. I'm the antithesis of an expert when it comes to sleep. I suck at it. So Ellen Morter is a board certified. Family nurse practitioner through the American Nurses Credentialing Center. Uh, she's a member of Sigma Theta Tao National Honor Society. [00:01:22] Jessica O'Reilly: She has a long resume. Okay? She has a Bachelor of Science in nursing,

Family lawyer Justin Lee sees relationships and marriages from both sides: couples come to him before they get married (or move in together) and when the relationship has come to an end. His perspective offers a view of the good, the bad and the ugly. He joins Jess and Brandon to discuss: The benefits of prenups & marital contracts Why marriages fall apart Why all couples should talk to a divorce lawyer before getting married Infidelity clauses Why he still believes in true love despite seeing so many breakups https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/IG2-Marriage-Advice-from-a-Divorce-Lawyer.mp4 Justin is a Toronto-based family & divorce lawyer. He is a graduate of the University of Toronto Law School and is a founder of his own family law firm, JLEE Family Law. He practices in all areas of family law, including high-conflict parenting disputes, complex property issues, domestic contracts, and child and spousal support. You might know him better as the divorce lawyer or “jleejd” on TikTok and Instagram, where he posts divorce-related content to over 450,000 followers across both platforms. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Marriage Advice From A Divorce Lawyer Episode 314 - Marriage Advice From A Divorce Lawyer [00:00:00] You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware and I'm very excited. For today's conversation because we are gonna be speaking with Justin Lee, who is a divorce lawyer, gonna be giving us his take on relationships and relationship advice. [00:00:30] So we're gonna start right off. Justin, a Toronto based family and divorce lawyer. He's a graduate of the university Toronto's Law School, a founder of his own family law firm, Jay Lee, family Law. He practices all areas of family law, including high conflict parenting disputes, complex property issues, domestic contracts, and child and spousal sup. [00:00:49] Port, but you might know him better as the divorce lawyer or j Lee JD on TikTok and Instagram where he posts divorce related content to over 450,000 followers. I'm one of those followers, so am I. I'm one of 450,000 and I, I gotta say, I really like Justin's perspective, his insights on Instagram, so I'm excited to dive just a little bit deeper because of course you're getting short form. [00:01:14] Content on those platforms and it, it's interesting because I think everyone in the public eye these days, all the influencers, everyone has something to say about relationships, which I actually think is fabulous. I think it's really cool to hear so many perspectives. I do think the challenge is when people either pass off their experience as expertise. [00:01:31] Or assume that their experience can be globalized or is universal. That's when I get into kind of murky waters in that space. But, uh, Justin to me is the exception. I've kind of gone through all of his content I've been following for a while, and, uh, man, the relationship advice or insights really are really sound. [00:01:48] So I'm excited to dive a little deeper into this conversation now. Thank you so much for being here. Um, I'm a huge fan of your content. I have gone through all of your relationship advice on the [00:02:00] other end, and it seems like all of it is. Really sound, and I guess you have this super unique perspective as a divorce lawyer.

In this quickie episode, Jess and Brandon reflect upon a recent argument and share three conversations to address relationship issues. They share their personal perspectives and delve into the importance of addressing three main points when you're struggling: 1. Why you want to work on the relationship 2. How you're feeling vs how you want to feel 3. What you want & what you're willing to compromise If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 3 Conversations To Save A Relationship: Why? How? What? [00:00:00] You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. [00:00:16] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: Well, hello. I have a question for you. How. How are your stress levels right now? I'm [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: feeling pretty good. Not very high. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: Really? Yeah. On a one to 10 today I'm like a three. Okay. What's your baseline? [00:00:36] Brandon Ware: A seven. No, that's what I was gonna say. Uh, the last six months, probably [00:00:42] Jess O'Reilly: like a five. Okay. And lifetime? Like adult lifetime? [00:00:45] Brandon Ware: Adult lifetime, probably. Yeah. Probably like a six to seven. [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: Oh man. Yeah. [00:00:51] Brandon Ware: Okay. I didn't realize before how high my baseline was until I started to pay attention to it. And, you know, recognizing some of the feelings that I would feel on a regular basis. [00:01:01] Brandon Ware: The, the, you know, the butterflies in my stomach. I was like, oh, it's I'm hungry, or it's whatever. No, it's like, man, this is [00:01:05] Jess O'Reilly: stress and has your, Stress overall come down over the last few years as you become more aware of that? Uh, [00:01:11] Brandon Ware: yes it has, but I mean, it's obviously spiked at different points because of different things that have happened. [00:01:15] Brandon Ware: Like I remember, you know, the uncertainty when the, the pandemic first started, like, yeah, I was a bit more stressed out. I remember having some pretty intense dreams those first like four or five weeks or six weeks of the pandemic when it started. Um, and then there have been other things that have happened over the last handful of years that have caused pretty significant spike in stress. [00:01:33] Brandon Ware: But today you're three. [00:01:34] Jess O'Reilly: Today I'm a three man. Why are you feeling [00:01:36] Brandon Ware: good? You know, I don't know. I woke up early, got in, um, did a bit of work, and then got in a good workout, which I wasn't expecting. Mm-hmm. And, uh, after a six hour [00:01:46] Jess O'Reilly: time change Last [00:01:47] Brandon Ware: night. After, yeah, after like a really big time change and, uh, just in a general good mood. [00:01:53] Brandon Ware: So I'm just gonna keep rolling with it. Well, I'm [00:01:55] Jess O'Reilly: here to ruin it. No, just kidding. What? Thank you. No, there just seems to be a lot of stress [00:02:00] in the world. Like the headlines. Yeah, the tragedy. And I am finding that I'm receiving more and more messages from people in distress about life, but particularly about relationships. [00:02:11] Jess O'Reilly: And so that's why I asked about stress, because I, I'm curious, like, does the world feel more stressed right

Mike and Denise are one of the happiest couples ever. They've been together since they were teenagers, raised two kids, run a family business, and they're still loving, happy and playful. Have a listen to their story and "secrets" in this casual, candid conversation with Jess and Brandon (Mike is Jess' cousin BTW). There are no magic pills for happy marriages, but every story counts. Warning: gushing contained herein. Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Secrets of A Happy Couple (After 35+ Years!) 00:02 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 00:16 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, hey, I'm excited for this conversation and we are going to dive right in because today we are chatting with and getting insights from one of the most happy couples I have ever met. So we are here with my favorite. I'm not going to say cousins because I'll get in trouble. Also, they're not both my cousins. Only Michael is my cousin. My favorite couple. 00:45 I think when you say somebody's your favorite, but then you don't finish it, I think you've just now said they're your favorite. I know. We have a problem in our family, right, Mike, about favorites? Well, you're just stating the obvious. There's a whole bunch of us. So Mike is my eldest cousin, right? Thank you for that. A favorite cousin. Favorite cousin. There's a lot of us. Denise is his wife, and we spend a ton of time with you. We prioritize spending time with you, even though we spend... 01:13 even though we live far, far away from one another, because we love being around you. And Denise has been on the podcast before, so you may remember her from a Christmas episode with her daughter, Annabella, who wrote her dating profile. And if you haven't listened to the dating profile episodes, please, please, please go back and listen to the dating profile episodes. One of them is called, The Greatest Gift Ever and it's free, but definitely check those out. So you might remember Denise from there, but I'll give you a little bit of background on them. They haven't given me their bios. 01:42 but they run a family company with many, many employees and extra special stresses because it's in Jamaica. But they're just the happiest couple. They have two grown kids who are also my favorites. And I wanted to chat with them because they're happy. And I think we all just wanna be happy like they are. Mike, you're happy. I'm always happy. You bring joy. So why don't we just start with how you met? Tell us the story of how you met 30. 02:11 Six years ago, 30, a lot of years ago. A lifetime ago. I think 1989, right? 85. No, 85. How old was I in 85? Mike was a year younger than me, but we met freshman year at RISD. So we were at school and we met a couple of times, I think, at the dormitory, just around campus. And I remember just shaking my head and thinking, no, this guy's crazy. That's most the charm. 02:39 But you also weren't happy at RISD. And I think that's what I was picking up is that you were not happy there. I think it was just coming from South Florida from high school and coming to a Northeast school. I was again, in a whole different world. Right, which was my happy place, but not your happy place. Again,

Is scheduling sex a good idea? And how do you deal with a partner - who is struggling with erection issues? Is avoidance of sex but engagement with porn an indication of a Madonna-whore complex? We discuss all this and more with the therapist Kat Kova. Don't forget to check out the Womanizer Starlet, which is on sale this week & you can save an EXTRA 15% with code DRJESS15. Kat Kova is currently; a Ph.D. student in the Social and Personality Psychology Program at York University. She holds a Master of Science Degree in the Couple & Family Therapy Program from the University of Guelph, an Honours BA Degree in Psychology from York University and a Certificate in Sexuality Studies from York University. She is an Associate Member of BESTCO (Board of Examiners of Sex Therapy and Counselling in Ontario) and has completed the Sex Therapy Intensive Training at the University of Guelph. She is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT), Narrative Therapy and mindfulness approaches and personalizes treatment according to your specific needs and the concerns you wish to address. Kat is also trained in embodied experiential dreamwork practices, an effective treatment for alleviating suffering from trauma-related nightmares and PTSD symptoms. Learn more on the Kat Kova Therapy website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Scheduling Sex, Erectile Issues & Sexual Avoidance 00:02 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 00:17 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Good morning. It is 10.45 on a Monday morning for us here. Yes it is. And at 10.45 in the morning, would you like to schedule some sex? I would sure like to schedule some sex. Where are we going with this? Do you feel like we schedule sex at all? No, I don't. Okay. So I feel like we sort of do. I know that it doesn't go in our calendars, but I feel like we make time for it. Who are you having sex with then? 00:47 I'll invite to the wrong Brandon. Another Brandon. It's another realtor named Brandon. It's really good if anyone's in the market. At multiple things apparently. Okay. I know we don't put it in the calendar. I know we don't say, hey, at 3 PM on Saturday, would you like to have the sex with me? Sexy time. I do feel like we carve out time. I have an idea sometimes of when you're going to want to have sex with me. Do you? Yeah. I've got to tell. I've got to tell. You don't know you want it, but I know you want it. 01:17 I don't know what the tell it. Okay, I'm going to give one example. When I... Please do share more of Brandon's secrets. When I'm on the road for work and I know that I'm leaving, you carve out time the night before. Yes, I do. Not just for sex, but just to be with me, to try and be home, to try and not be working, to try and not have phone calls. And it always leads to sex. It usually does. Yes, you're right. I do do that. So there's some scheduling of sex. And you know, we've got an expert who's going to help us kind of parse whether or not we should schedule sex 01:47 There's research on the topic. Let's schedule in this time to start right now. Let's do this. Before we welcome our esteemed guest, quick note, the Womanizer Starlet is 50% off at lovehoney.com or lovehoney.ca or lovehoney.uk,

Pelvic floor function is essential to sexual health a pleasure, but how much do you know about this key region? Do you know… At what age should you start thinking about the pelvic floor? What daily activities are hard - on the pelvic floor? Which movements can support pelvic floor health? How to care for your pelvic floor during pregnancy? How menopause affects the pelvic floor? We didn’t know the answers, so we asked the fabulous Dr. Kamaria Washington to weigh in on these questions; and much more in this content-rich episode. Dr. Kamaria Washington is a proud product of Detroit, MI - and she received her Bachelor of Science in Movement Science from the University of Michigan’s School of Kinesiology before pursuing her Doctorate of Physical Therapy from the MGH Institute of Health Professions in Boston, Massachusetts. She then went to Therapeutic Associates Bethany in Portland, Oregon for extensive pelvic floor training in conjunction with Herman and Wallace pelvic floor continuing education. Dr. Washington is the founder of Pelvic Noire Physical Therapy & Wellness, where she serves as the CEO, a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist for women's health, and a Birth Prep and Postpartum Coach. Appointments can be held at their office in Metro-Detroit, MI, or virtually; from all over the world. She sees clients' preconceptions through menopause with pelvic pain, urine/fecal leakage, low back pain, reproductive concerns, prolapse, and more. You can keep up with her work and learn bits of pelvic floor education from her on Instagram & Facebook. And you can set up an appointment (virtual or in-person) at Pelvic Noire website. Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 00:02 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 00:16 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir here with my lovely other half and Dr. Jess. Hey, hey. Today we are talking about pelvic floor health across the lifespan. And we're going to be joined by Dr. Camaria Washington, also known as Dr. Cave from Detroit, Michigan. She has a Bachelor of Science in Movement Science from the University of Michigan School of Kinesiology, like you, baby kinesiologist. Shout out. But then she went on to do her doctorate of physical therapy from the MGH Institute. 00:46 of Health Professions in Boston. She has a lot of schooling. She then went to therapeutic associates Bethany in Portland, Oregon for extensive pelvic floor training in conjunction with Herman and Wallace pelvic floor continuing education. She is the founder of pelvic noir physical therapy and wellness where she serves as the CEO a pelvic floor physical therapist for women's health and a birth prep and postpartum coach. She's amazing. I've been following her on Instagram for some time. I highly, highly, highly recommend 01:16 you follow at dr.kwashington underscore. That one's a bit hard, so I'm going to make sure it's in the show notes and I'll do a shout out on Instagram because her content is so good. On the personal side, Dr. K likes solo traveling, spending time with the locals, food experiences, dancing, spoken word, hiking, reading, spending time with her family and friends and she is a sucker for thrifting. I like that. And big pairs of handmade earrings and she joins us now. Thank you so, so much for being here. 01:46

What questions should you consider if you’re thinking of opening up your relationship? What issues do couples commonly face when considering polyamory? What is brainspotting? What should solo polyamorous folks consider when dating couples? Which dating sites are best for open relationships? We’re joined by marriage and family therapist Joy Berkheimer who weighs in on these questions and shares her personal experience with swinging and polyamory. Joy is a radical force for self-expression that helps women cultivate self-love, and empowers them to fully embody their sexuality so that they may become their best authentic and liberated selves. To learn more about Joy, follow her on her Instagram or on the Joy Berkheimer website. Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. speaker: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half who's dancing, Dr. Jess. I was really in the mood for this today. You're grooving today. I heard a little scobbyed in the background. It makes me happy. That's your jam. Mm-hmm. Literally, that's your jam. And today, I've been up all morning talking about relationship deal breakers. Do you have any relationship deal breakers? Oh, I have a whole list. I have one that immediately comes to mind. What's that? Smoking. Cigarettes. Cigarette smoking. I'd have a hard time with that. Other substances are acceptable. other substances totally fine. Because you like the smell of other ones, but you don't like the smell of cigarettes. Yes. Yeah. You know, I had, I grew up with one parent who smoked on and off. And I remember that you just turned to them at some point and you're like, listen, I love you and that's going to kill you and I need you to stop. And they did. Yeah, I think I said that to somebody who wants to. They were very disciplined, though. My parents who smoked, like they would smoke in certain places and not in others. They never smoked in the house and they would smoke in certain social situations, but then quit in between for like a year. But I got it. that that's a deal. But I mean, if you were to start, I wouldn't really understand, especially why you'd start at this age. What if I started smoking cigars? Well, I mean, how often would you smoke them? This conversation is getting very detailed. Well, I'm just thinking that a lot of people smoke cigars once in a while. And so I wouldn't always have to be around it. I don't know. I don't know, I really like the smell of a pipe. I was just gonna say, I love the smell of a pipe. My grandfather smoked a pipe and I was like, man, that smells good. Yeah, it's sweet, sweet, but I think it still causes harm. Yeah, I think so. So we were talking this morning about the top relationship dealbreakers and they categorize them into six categories But what comes out on top for all types of relationships is Grossness okay, that's a very vague topic. So do you want to give me some details? Like what was what was gross? So another study found that it's basically if somebody has it disheveled or unclean appearance and then down the list There's lazy too needy lacks of sense of humor lacks of sense of humor. I know all about that one Here's one Have you ever You've seen me first thing in the morning? Speaking of disheveled, the first one? I know,

Sex therapist Dr. Donna Oriowo joins us to answer your questions about sex and relationships. How do you manage sexual incompatibility? What do you do when one of you wants sex all the time and the other has trouble getting in the mood? And how do you get yourself in the mood to be a "giver" when it doesn't come naturally? Dr. Donna Oriowo (oreo-whoa!) LICSW, CST, is an award-winning DEI advocate, international speaker and certified sex and relationship therapist in the Washington D.C. metro area. Dr. Donna is the owner of private practice, AnnodRight, which specializes in working with Black women on issues related to colorism and texturism and its impacts on mental and sexual health. Dr. Donna specializes in working with Black women to feel Free, Fabulous, and F*cked! She is the author of Cocoa Butter & Hair Grease: A Self Love Journey Through Hair and Skin and the host of a weekly community space for Black women called In My Black Feelings. Dr. Donna collects inspiring quotes, eats donuts, loves pasta, travels to learn, and gives COVID-safe handshakes, warm hugs, and (figurative) knocks on the head. Dr. Oriowo served as DEI Co-chair and Communications Steering Committee Chair for AASECT. She is a member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN). She can be found on social media @Dr.DonnaOriowo (Instagram and Twitter). OR you can visit her on the interwebs at DonnaOriowo.com OR interact with her by joining the Free, Fabulous, & F*cked Community on Facebook. Be sure to check out Dr. Oriowo's 5-Day Pleasure Challenge Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. Save 25% with code PODCAST at Happier Couples.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Help! We're not sexually compatible Speaker 2 00:00:05 You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight. Speaker 0 00:00:14 Welcome Speaker 3 00:00:14 To the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Speaker 1 00:00:20 Hello from Washington DC Speaker 3 00:00:23 Is there a more enthusiastic way to say that? Speaker 1 00:00:25 Good morning, Washington DC Good morning. This is our second stop here in the last couple of weeks. Yeah, Speaker 3 00:00:31 It Speaker 1 00:00:31 Is. We are here for the Sexology Summit in inaugural conference hosted by the folks from Sexpert Consultants and they're doing a great job. It's, it's so nice to be back with colleagues and surrounded by non civilian sex people. Speaker 3 00:00:46 Yeah, I mean, I'm having a great time. I haven't been to a lot of sex conferences. I've been to Sex down South. I've been here. I'm trying to think where else I've been. And definitely meeting people that I've met online and through the podcast. And it's interesting because now I'm actually seeing them, but I feel like I already know them. Like we met Courtney, we saw Courtney Bra the other day. Hang Speaker 1 00:01:05 On though. Courtney Bra is a lot taller than I expected. Yes. He, he's a tall man. Speaker 3 00:01:09 He's, he's a muscular, tall gentleman Speaker 1 00:01:11 In a soft cashmere sweater. My favorite convo, my favorite I you wear He's cashmere. He's a really nice guy. If you let me, I'm gonna touch you. , like, people should really be wearing cashmere pants. . If you want a butt rub, say for, Speaker 3 00:01:24 For the holidays, I, I get cashmere underwear.

Do you have trouble expressing your desires in bed? Are you nervous - to open up about your fantasies? Do you have difficulty tapping into sexual turn-ons? Perhaps the constraints of gender (and the associated shame) are holding you back from experiencing deeper pleasure. Fret not. Dr. Candice Nicole joins Jess & Brandon to help you shed gender shame and bend gender all in the name of hotter sex. Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is an award-winning associate professor of counselling psychology at the University of Kentucky, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. She is the host; of F*ck the System: A Sexual Liberation Podcast and How to Love a Human, a liberation podcast that asks people with multiple marginalized identities what the world would be like if it loved them. Save 25% with code PODCAST at Happier Couples.com. (See courses below.) If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Can Gender-Bending Improve Sex? Speaker 2 00:00:05 You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight. Speaker 3 00:00:14 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Speaker 1 00:00:20 Jess. And we're back because we skipped last week. Speaker 3 00:00:22 We did. How do you feel Speaker 1 00:00:24 About that? Not gonna talk about, not gonna talk about it. Honestly, that's the first podcast we've missed in all the years doing this podcast. Speaker 3 00:00:31 All the years. A lot of years. Speaker 1 00:00:32 Many a year. But we're, we're back. And I'm happy to be back and super excited for today's topic because we're talking about gender and sex. And we're going to be joined by Dr. Candace Nicole, who is an award-winning associate professor of counseling, psychology, a sexologist. They work at the University of Kentucky where she studies sexual wellness and liberation and she hosts multiple podcasts herself. She's published over 50 research articles. You probably have seen her in Cosmo, the New York Times, and the like. And she's here to help us break down how considering the possibility of redefining gender can lead to happier relationships and hotter sex. Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Candace. How you doing today? Speaker 4 00:01:12 I'm doing wonderful, Dr. Jess. It's so good to be here with you. Speaker 1 00:01:15 And tell us, what are you working on these days, Speaker 4 00:01:18 Girl? Trying to get this book proposal accepted by an agent. So that is the word. Speaker 1 00:01:24 Can you tell us anything about the book? Can you tease a little, Speaker 4 00:01:27 Okay, here's a little teaser. So it's going to be about sexual liberation and how these systems of oppression try to fuck it up Speaker 1 00:01:36 And why sex, why? I mean, they're attacking everything, but why sex in particular? Like what? What is it about sex that lets systems exert greater control? Speaker 4 00:01:45 I don't, I don't even know if it's greater control. I just think it's an area where we have an exam, how capitalism and racism and sexism and heterosexism and elitism and all that stuff gets in the way of good sex. Speaker 1 00:01:57 Yeah. And when you say all of those things, I think about performance and I think about pressure and I think about roles, which is really why you're here today. Yes. To help us break down gender roles. And I think when people think about gender inequality,

How much can you ask a partner to change? And how do you know if non-monogamy is the right choice for you? Jess and Brandon discuss these listener questions and share their (imperfect) perspectives in this quickie episode. Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral: Clit and the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis course on the Happier Couples website. . If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Quickie Q&A: Should you change for a partner & how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you? Speaker 1 00:00:05 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Speaker 2 00:00:15 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess, Speaker 3 00:00:21 Are you ready for a quickie? Speaker 2 00:00:22 I'm always ready for a quickie. Are Speaker 3 00:00:24 You though? Speaker 2 00:00:25 Yeah, I'm usually ready for a quickie. Speaker 3 00:00:27 is all, all we really do is quickies. not in the podcast, but I feel like we've been squishing sex into smaller Look at your face. Sorry. I'm like, I'm, I'm getting tripped up from my words, but I'm gonna keep going. I feel like we've been squishing it into tiny little, what do they call it? Time blocks. Speaker 2 00:00:44 time. We're time blocking. We're the Harvard Review. We're time boxing. Speaker 3 00:00:47 Time boxing our sex lab, but we're getting it in. Speaker 2 00:00:50 We're smooshing booties and time boxing. Speaker 3 00:00:52 Bumping uglies. Speaker 2 00:00:52 Bumping uglies. I Speaker 3 00:00:53 Don't like that cuz I think they're very pretty. Speaker 2 00:00:55 I like it. Speaker 3 00:00:56 We're actually in a hotel right now with, uh, curtains where the, the decor. They really look like Volvos. Speaker 2 00:01:02 Yes, they do. You brought that up the other night and I didn't realize it. And you're spot Speaker 3 00:01:06 On. I think it's supposed to be something from the sea, but they really remind me of Volvos. Anyhow, we're doing a quickie because I am off to Dubai for another couple's retreat. I feel so good to be working and meeting people and I'm just, I don't know. I'm having the absolute best time, but have a long couple of flights today. So we have two questions for you and one is about getting your partner to change and the other is about non-monogamy. So big topics, but we're gonna try and be fairly succinct so that I don't miss my flight. Speaker 2 00:01:34 Sounds good. All right. Speaker 3 00:01:35 What's the first, so the first they're asking how to differentiate between getting your partner to stop doing something that bothers you versus trying to change them. So they say we're told to accept our partners just as they are, but also to speak up if something they're doing makes us unhappy. So where's the balance? Speaker 2 00:01:52 I mean, this totally resonates not with, not so much with me, but just the question is kinda like, at what point are you crossing that line? Right. Speaker 3 00:01:59 Um, you don't ask me to change much. Speaker 2 00:02:01 No. Again, I think we're constantly having conversations about things. I think I feel like you ask me to change things, more things, would that be wrong? I think I'd agree. But it's you, I think I agree with that, but I don't feel like you're trying to change me as a human being, like as a person. Speaker 3 00:02:16 It's trying to make you better. No,

We are riding a high after appearing on The TODAY Show this morning! Hoda and Jenna were the warmest hosts and in this week's episode we dig a little deeper into one of their viewer questions about housework and how to stop keeping score. Tune in for 6 specific strategies you can use to reduce tension, conflict and stave off resentment in the long-run. Don't forget you can save 25% off all of our video courses at HappierCouples.com with code PODCAST. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! You can watch the interview on Today With Hoda and Jenna here. See below for a rough summary of the podcast: Earlier today we were on The Today Show thanks to Kieran, producer extraordinaire, who has a new segment series called Relationships Dilemmas. My partner and I are constantly keeping score over who's doing more at home -- between the dishes, cooking dinner, taking out the trash. So my question is, what's the best way to delegate or balance routine chores at home? Keep score but play for the same team. Focus on all the things your partner does. Make a list of everything that needs to be done - break it down into small parts. Really break it down. And let yourselves add to it as things come up. Then run through the chores like a draft taking turns opting into specific tasks. I’d suggest you do this monthly as opposed to making it a one time thing because the list will change, your schedules will change and it’s good to switch things up. The point is to look at the tasks as a team as opposed to tracking who does what. Get to the underlying issues. If making a list and going through it feels triggering, if it hits a sore spot, if you’re resistant, if you get defensive, consider whether or not chores are the issue or if it’s a relational, emotional or attachment need that’s not being met. Is it really about dirty dishes or is it about feeling unheard? Is it about laundry or is it about resentment for the fact that you gave something up to support your partner’s career?It’s easy to place blame on the superficial issues like chores as opposed to examine the root issues.I see this often. You argue about something rather innocuous like the way they put the food in the fridge, but really you’re annoyed that they don’t put effort into the relationship. Don’t expect it to be 50/50. That’s not the way life works and if you’re obsessed with making sure your partner does as much as you, ask yourself why. Your lives are different. Your skills sets are different. There are going to points in the relationship when you do more domestic labour. And there will be times when your partner does more. Examine gender roles and other identity layers that may be contributing to engrained biases. Did your mom do all the cooking and you now expect your wife to do the same? Was your dad handy and you now have the unrealistic expectation that your boyfriend should take care of repairs? Express gratitude profusely. It’s so easy to take all the little things for granted. And even if you do appreciate all the things your partner does. The gratitude gap refers to the distance between feeling grateful and actually expressing it. Lower your expectations. Just because you want things done a certain way to a certain standard doesn’t mean your partner affords the same value to the same tasks. Maybe you’re angry or annoyed that they don’t clean as thoroughly as you. And maybe that’s a legitimate concern. But maybe you’re being unrealistic. Maybe they do a perfectly decent job and you take comfort in laying criticism because of past issues. Maybe it gives you a sense of control. Or meaning. This happens with kids. One parents has expectations that the other finds unrealistic in terms of how involved you should be in your kids lives, how much you should influence (or in some cases control) them and this leads to arguments that are seemingly about childrearing but they...

Jess & Brandon weigh in on why they don't love V-Day and answer questions from listeners; who wants to have a happier Valentine's -- free from pressure. They weigh in on what to do if your partner refuses to celebrate and offer; some alternative ways to celebrate beyond chocolates and roses. We hope you don't use this as an excuse to avoid celebrating. Instead, we hope it inspires deeper conversations about the meaning we attach to holidays, celebrations and expressions of love. Regardless of whether or not you celebrate, if you're into luxurious lingerie, Lunatic Femme is still running their contest to win this gorgeous eco-silk kimono with removable sleeves (because all of their pieces are designed - to layer, morph, mix & match), and you can enter to win in two simple steps: 1. Subscribe to the Lunatic Femme newsletter HERE 2. Follow them on IG HERE View this post on Instagram A post shared by luxury lingerie (@lunatic_femme) If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Why We Don't Celebrate Valentine's Day Intro 00:00:05 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight. Speaker 3 00:00:16 Welcome To the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Speaker 1 00:00:21 Happy freaking V-day . We're almost there. Speaker 3 00:00:24 We're, is that it? Are you looking at it like something you need to overcome? Speaker 1 00:00:28 No, no, no. like, we've almost made it Valentine's. This is the biggest time of the year in my field. Speaker 3 00:00:34 It sure is. There's photos of Dons everywhere, Speaker 1 00:00:38 , Speaker 3 00:00:38 Sex dogs, Speaker 1 00:00:39 Sex dogs and all sorts of things. Right? All the brands, all the labels. Every possible industry is now into Valentine's Day. Speaker 3 00:00:48 Yeah, I mean the, in like companies that I wouldn't have thought would've touched the sex toy industry are all about it. Speaker 1 00:00:55 Well, and not just sex toy industry, but Valentine's altogether. You should see some of the, oh yeah, the pitches. I'm getting like the reaches to make some random product about Valentine's Day. So it's, it's a commercialized holiday. Commercialized holiday. But we are gonna talk about it because we don't celebrate Valentine's. And you may celebrate Valentine's, but I hope you'll hear our perspective. And I really want to reinforce all perspectives on this cuz there's no right, there's no wrong, there's no judgment around, ah, it's a Hallmark holiday. So what all holidays are made up, I Speaker 3 00:01:24 Was just gonna say, a lot of holidays are Hallmark holidays. Speaker 1 00:01:26 It doesn't matter. And they're all made up, right? So many holidays are commercialized and so much of what we do is, so I'm not gonna sit here in criticism of that, but we are gonna talk about the fact that we don't celebrate Valentine's. But because it's February 9th, if you're listening today, you have a few more days to go check out the lunatic fem contest. This is to me, just my favorite contest. I think it's gonna be my favorite contest of 2023 because the quality of their goods is just on another level. And the contest over on lunatic fems Instagram, they're giving away a custom silk kimono. So this is a small batch, super high investment item that you're gonna keep forever silky, smooth,

Intimacy is about so much more than sex. It can be emotional, relational, practical, physical, spiritual and so much more. This week, Jess and Brandon share prompts to help cultivate emotional connection as they work their way through the Intimacy Interview. And just in time for V-Day, we have a luxurious giveaway from Lunatic Femme, a luxurious lingerie brand that uses the finest materials for their small-batch collection. They're offering up a gorgeous eco-silk kimono with removable sleeves (because all of their pieces are designed to layer, morph, mix & match) and you can enter to win in two simple steps: 1. Subscribe to the Lunatic Femme newsletter HERE 2. Follow them on IG HERE View this post on Instagram A post shared by luxury lingerie (@lunatic_femme) If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Emotional Intimacy Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Ready to talk how to build emotional intimacy to see? I am ready to talk about that. Okay. What does intimacy mean to you? Intimacy is closeness. It's connection, but it's deeper than, like, friendship level connection. You don't think you can have intimacy with a friend? Okay, I take it back. Take a foot out of my mouth. I guess it was meant to be rhetorical. I guess I think intimacy, I think more sexual, and that's kind of where I was going with that. But yes. No, you can definitely have intimate relationships with friends. Okay. And I don't think you're alone in thinking about intimacy and sexuality or sexual pleasure or sexual intimacy as one thing, but I think it's more than that, and we're going to get into that. You don't have to agree, of course. Language is language. Like, define it however you want. But before we do, I'm really excited. I have a contest that I think you should stop what you're doing and go enter it now. So I'm thrilled to announce this partnership with it's a small batch lingerie brand that's really I don't know. It's a mindful brand that's totally different than anything I've ever seen. It's called lunatic femme. And when I first came across them, I read their tagline, you're not one thing. Your lingerie shouldn't be either. And when I read that, I was like, oh, that really resonates. You're not just one thing. But then I saw their lingerie, and it is wow, it's so beautiful. It's luxurious, and it's just a really cool brand. So it's layerable, it's changeable, it's strip offable. And most importantly, to me, it's exposable because it's definitely 100% doubles as fashion wear it under a blazer or without a blazer that would be hot. And you can mix and match and detach all the different pieces to create all these different looks and feels and moods. For example, they've got this balcony bra that you can wear, I think, six different ways. They've got bodysuits that have different removable harnesses. They have this sexy waist sensor that also turns into a choker or a corset. And the materials are just really, really luxurious. Something called levers lace and organic eco silk. And the metal wear is custom made. They even have some that are 24 karat gold plated in the details. So luna tick femme. But I'm not just sending you to shop there, although you're going to want to.

Take a few minutes to slow down and reconnect with this simple exercise designed for emotional connection, physical intimacy and mindfulness. It's not a magic pill, but just two minutes may be worth a shot. Jess & Brandon give it a whirl and share their honest reactions. If you're looking for the Lovehoney sale products (use code DRJESS15 to save an extra 15%), here they are: Hitachi Magic Wand - 'Most amazing orgasm I’ve seen her have in 10 years!' 'Be free from cords, without sacrificing power!' 'I truly believe it's strong enough to make nearly anyone come.' Forget hand massages. You can shake your whole house from its very foundations with the jaw-rattling vibes of this extra-powerful wand. Your cordless Magic Wand harnesses AC power from the wall before firing it out in 8 vibration styles. Brace yourself. Soft silicone creates a smooth surface for transmitting the vibrations, with 4 speeds and 4 patterns operated with ease via the 3-button controls. Lovehoney Juno - Make love to the beat with the Juno music-activated panty vibrator. Designed to slip into your pants, this cute little vibe tantalizes your clitoris by buzzing along to your favorite tunes. Choose something with plenty of base and get ready to party. Harnessing the power of synch technology, the removable bullet vibe buzzes to the beat of your music. Simply place the remote next to a music source, turn up the volume and let your tunes take control of your pleasure. Each set includes the ingenious remote control, a bullet vibrator and a silicone sleeve jacket. The remote works from up to 8 meters away from the bullet vibrator. Please note: The bullet vibrator is for external use only. Lovehoney X We-Vibe Nova 2 We-Vibe's Nova Rabbit Vibrator is back and better than ever. Still boasting app controls and a sensational arced, clitoris-kissing arm that stays in contact while you thrust, the Nova 2 also boasts a posable internal arm for top-tier G-spot stimulation. Sculpted from smooth, seamless silicone with a bulbed end for G-spot pleasure, this sleek toy is as ergonomic as they come. Its whisper-quiet vibrations are ideal during late-night bedroom bliss-outs, and the waterproof body turns your bathroom into a playground. Use the buttons on the toy to explore its default vibration modes, or switch on to the free We-Vibe app to create your own personal pleasure patterns. Plus, with the app you can share control with a partner and play together with multiple toys, no matter how physically near or far apart you may be. Music provided by Lesfm from Pixabay If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Reset Your Relationship In 2 Minutes Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half of Dr. Jess. I am here and I am ready for what we're about out to get up to. This is the two minute reset, and I need it, so I need it badly. You really made it sound like we were going to do something else there. Oh, we could do that for two minutes as well, but then what would we do with the other 90 seconds? Weren't weren't worn? Brendan Lakes. Any excuse to make a sound effect. So we're going to be talking about a really simple and hopefully useful two minute relationship reset. We're going to do it. We're not going to make you listen to our two minutes because it'll just be Brandon doing this.

It's time to debunk the myth of the "dead vagina syndrome" and overcome hangups about vibrators - so that; we can all enjoy more pleasure! If you're looking for Jess' product picks from the Lovehoney sale, check out: Womanizer Starlet 2 Lovehoney Rose WeVibe X Lovehoney Nova 2 Lovehoney’s wide selection of kink & fetish gear. Use code DRJESS15 to save at checkout. And if you're interested in the Oasis Aqualounge event in Toronto, you can learn more here. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 7 Minutes of Sex: Desensitization? Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. We are three weeks in to 2023, and I'm seeing all these Instagram posts about the word of the year. So 2023. What's your word? It's an expletive to where I'm at so far. It's anal. Not that anal is an expletive, but fisting. It's my word of the year. I like it. I'm seeing ones, like, perform, take action. I think if I had to pick one, I need calm. Calm. That's what I need right now. Great. What? Relaxation. That's not happening. No. What are we we're about 20 days in right now, and it's the farthest thing from that. So if I could pick a word for 2023 and as the kids say, manifest, I'm picking calm. But we we've had a we've had a crazy week, a wild week, but we have big news, and I don't I think we've maybe alluded to it, but we've never actually talked about it. But B and I got our Spanish EU residency this week. Hola migos. I'm learning Spanish, and it's not going well. It's actually really funny. Brandon's using some sort of an app to learn Spanish. What's the app called? I need a code here. No. It's Pimsler and duolingo. Okay. And my neighbor yeah, not the app, my neighbor. We have a neighbor named Carlos who's helping Brendan to learn Spanish. Yeah, he's awesome. He's incredibly patient, thankfully. But the app, I just see Brendan kind of walking up and down either the street or the beach or wherever we are, and he's just talking to himself on this app. Yeah. People think that there's something wrong with me as I speak random sentences and words and repeat them multiple times. Los gatos. How many times you have to learn about the cat drinking? The cat's drinking? Many times. Anyhow, really good news? We're super excited. We're here in Barcelona, where we have been since last year, actually. Half time Barcelona halftime. Toronto. Splitting our time just because so much of my work is over on this side of the world. So it makes it so much easier for me and for some of my clients and some of my events. But I'm loving it here. It's sunny out. It's a lot warmer than Toronto. The food is amazing. The wine is amazing. Got a vibe. That's what it is. It's got a great vibe. Do you mean the fact that there's a parade down our street pretty much every other weekend? Always a celebration here. Spanish people love to celebrate, and I love it. I love the desire to celebrate life. Or Tuesday mornings or another public holiday. Yes, there are a lot of public holidays, it would seem. Anyhow, that's some good news on our end for 2023, and it actually happened last year, but we finally got our official documentation just a couple of days ago. Today we're going to be talking about something called dead Vagina syndrome,

What’s the difference between a fetish and a kink? How common are kinks and fetishes? What are the most common fetishes? How do I move when thrusting during sex? What are some household objects that I can use as kinky pervertibles? Jess and Brandon weigh in on your kinky questions in this quickie episode. And check out Lovehoney’s wide selection of kink & fetish gear. Use code DRJESS10 to save at checkout. Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral course (Clit and Penis Edition) on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Kinks, Fetishes & Pervertibles Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. 2023. I am finally getting used to writing writing it because I kept typing 2022, even in Contracts. Yeah, I usually do that for the first few weeks of the year and then catch on. I'm liking this year already. Well, that's great. Yes. And we have a quickie for folks today, real quickie on kinks versus fetishes, because we've got a super limited amount of time, and we just got off three flights, one of which was a very, very long overnight flight because we have some work overseas. Yeah, that was a bit of a milk run, but glad to be where we are. Yeah, it was an accident. But we did get to stop for a really good club sandwich. Always about a good club sandwich. Actually, there were two really good stops. We also had a really nice meal in one of the airports that never really happens. Oh, yeah, that's right. We had a stop in Toronto. It feels like a million years ago. But yeah, if you're lucky enough to fly through the Signature Suite in Toronto, their food's always been good. It's from Chef Hawksworth, who's a Canadian chef who has restaurants on the west coast. But the food's gotten even better. Yeah, well, I mean, you loved it. You were happy. I was just pleased not to be sitting on the ground working for an hour. I live for food. I live for food. All right, so we're talking kinks versus fetishes, and this person wants to know something fairly straightforward, which is perfect, because we've got this quicky amount of time. They've asked, what is the difference between a kink and a fetish? How common are they? What are the most common fetishes? And they say, I think I may have a few fetishes. So, Brendan, do you know the difference between a kink and a fetish? I do not. Okay. I'm just straight out, I mean no. Do you think you're kinky? Yeah, I think I'm a little kinky. You're a little kinky. You're not, like, dress up kinky. I don't think you're identity or community kinky. Like, you're not at the dungeons, you're not at the parties. But I could. You could. I took you to one once and they sort of tore you to shreds. Do you remember that? You know, I don't, but I feel like you should tell me that. It was the one that was up high in that apartment for a specific celebration. They did. I recall now because you were in a suit. I was in a suit. I definitely was the one that was singled out as someone who hadn't partaken in some of the activities before. One of these things just doesn't belong to be fair, it was a wedding it was a collar. And so you showed up in a suit. Yep, I did. I wore a very kinky I wore a kinky dress. Anyhow okay, so kinks versus fetishes.

Why am I only attracted to "toxic" partners? How can I heal & move on from old wounds? What do I do when I love my partner, but I'm no longer "in love"? How do you define love? How do I deal with a partner who blames everyone else for their problems? Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon joins Jess & Brandon to answer your relationship questions. She explains why we sometimes avoid healthy relationships and; why we might; be drawn to harmful ones. And she also provides a nuanced look at how learning and healing from old wounds can help us to change the future -- without dwelling on the past. Finally, they discuss how couples can deal with the challenge of loving one another while no longer being "in love". Follow Dr. Alexandra Solomon's work: Reimagining Love Podcast Alexandra's Website Instagram Thank you to Lovehoney for their support of this podcast! Save on toys, lingerie, and much more at Lovehoney.com with code DRJESS15 And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Help! I'm only attracted to the "wrong type" & what to do when I'm no longer "in love" Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Happy New Year. Happy New Year 2023. This is going to be a good one. And I'm excited for our conversation today because we're going to talk about being in love versus loving someone. We're going to talk about the paradox of healing. I'm hoping to talk about attraction to people that you don't want to be attracted to and lack of attraction to the people you do want to attracted to, be attracted to. With Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a psychologist, she's got a huge following on Instagram. She got her own podcast. I'm super excited for that. Before she joins us, big shout out to our sponsor launching us into 2023. My friends at Love Honey and I have been working with Love Honey for a long, long, long time. Long, long, long, long time. And you can check out all of their goodies. They have a whole bunch of New Year's sales. And I've got an extra discount code. Dr. Jess Ten for Lovehoney.com. Lovehoney CA all the different Love Honey sites. So if you're looking for lingerie, if you're looking for latexware, if you're looking for all the good vibes to start the year with good vibes, love Honey.com code Dr. Jess Ten to say. All right, without further ado, we are going to get into this. Joining us now is Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, a psychologist and author, the host of her own podcast, Reimagining Love, that covers everything relationship related, from your background in therapy to academic approaches to pop culture, representations of relationships and how that affects how we relate in real life, basically all the practical aspects of relating. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. This is such a treat to get to spend some time with you. Yes. And a great way to start 2023, because you're brilliant. You have you have a couple of books. You have not only the podcast Reimagining Love You Have Taking Sexy Back How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. Best Selling Award winning book. And you have another book. Loving bravely 20 Lessons of Self Discovery to help you get the love you want. And you have a big following on Instagram and everyone needs to go check out Dr. Alexandra Solomon on IG.

Let's start 2023 on the right foot with some easy strategies for happier, more fulfilling relationships of - all kinds. Jess and Brandon share; 7 simple resolutions ranging from the sexual to the practical. Thank you to Lovehoney for their support of this podcast! Save on toys, lingerie, and much more at Lovehoney.com with code DRJESS15 And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Revolutionize Relationships In 2023 Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Last one of 2022. Wow. 2022. Done. There you go. Oh, how was your year? It was good. Are you surprised that I said good? I know Brandon's response to everything is good. Like, we had the most delicious meal last night. Our friend took us for wow. Yeah, that was great. That was really okay. The wagyu it was great. Okay. That's an extreme response for Brandon, but every time we cook something delicious, he's like, yeah, it's good. You're not a pleasure to cook for wow. You are correct. You're not a pleasure to eat with jazz. No, I didn't mean it that way. But you don't even mean no, I get it. If you cook for me or my family, we're like, oh, my gosh, you guys are so good. You're making noise while the food you're like, what is happening over here, man? But, yeah, no, I generally respond with it. Yeah, it's good. Okay, so was this a good year for you? Yes, it was. Okay. I'm asking that because there's some key findings that came out of the Ipsos Global Advisor Predictions goal for 2023, and I want to look at some other predictions and talk a little bit about the topic at hand today, which is resolutions to revolutionize relationships in 2023 and beyond. But before they got to the predictions for 2023, they offered a very brief 2022 in retrospect, and 73% say this year was a bad year for my country, which is down 77% from 21 and down from 90% in 20. So we're seeing improvement, although 73% saying, this is a bad year for my country is pretty high. This is a global survey, by the way, and the range was from 44% in Saudi Arabia, so the most positive in the lower to 87% in Hungary. And 56% across the globe say that this year was a bad year for me and my family, which is down only 2% from 2021 and down considerably 14% from 70% in 2020. So overall, we're still seeing negative perception, and in the predictions I'll go over in just a moment, we're seeing pessimism, but it's all of those negative trending in the right direction. Exactly. So the negativity is trending down. So I wouldn't say this year was a bad year for me and my family. I guess I'd fall into the 44%. Yeah, I would agree. I feel the same way. I mean, again, perspective challenges, like, what are you up against? But for me personally, I thought it had a good year for me and my family, and there was some stuff that happened, too, and 2022 for me flew by. Yeah, I agree. Wow. Reflecting back now on the entire year, it whipped by, and maybe because there's so much happening globally. Like, when you think back as to the news that hit at the beginning of the year, it's hard to believe that it was a year ago. I don't have a reference right now. You could put me on the spot, but I'm trying to remember major, significant events that happened in January. Well, a year ago today, it was the big was it Omar Crown breakout? Not today today,

Naked News host & producer Laura Desiree joins us to talk about her career in journalism and her journey to living a life free of shame and full of pleasure. She discusses the stigma associated with nudity and the erotic and shares strategies for letting go of the self-judgment that holds us back from living our best lives. Follow Laura Desiree's work: Instagram and you can find the Licked and Loaded Podcast here. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Let Go of Judgment & Shame Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Happy holidays to you, Mr. Ware. Happy holidays to you, too. I've been in the holiday spirit for, like, two months, and Brandon is finally in the holiday spirit. And why? Why? Because you were throwing snowballs at your nephews yesterday. Because my nephews were lobbing us snowballs to whip at them. They've got terrible lateral mobility, and I stung one of them right in the butt when he was making me another snowball to throw at him. I caught your brother in the butt when he he was walking out of our house, and I don't even think he felt it. He has five children, Brandon's brother, and I think once you have five children, you don't even feel things hit you from behind. I just want to describe our snowball fight, although it's totally unrelated to the topic at hand. We had the ultimate snowball fight yesterday because somehow, I don't even know how this happened, we were standing in our front doorway, like, not even outside of the house, and the kids were all outside making snowballs and gently throwing them to us so that we we could whip them at them. How does that even happen? I have the dream life. That's the dream life. It was wonderful. We were warm. We didn't have to make snowballs. The snow was extra hard, so it's really stung when you hit them with it. And these kids are so polite, they didn't even throw the snowballs at us. They lobbed them to us so that we could throw them at them. And as I had said, they haven't really developed all of their motor skills yet, so they're chucking and jiving and diving just wasn't on par yet, so we won. Basically. It's winning anyhow. Makes you want to have kids, if that's what happened. Kids. That's what kids is all about. Sign me up. Don't at me on that one. Okay, so we're very close to the holidays. If you are in the gifting spirit for yourself or for a partner or for a loved one or for, perhaps your boss, we have some fabulous courses@happiercouples.com. We have mindful sex. We have how to last longer in bed and get over premature ejaculation. Not for your boss. Unless your boss has expressed, this is my wish list. I'm hoping for a promotion. Here's a course I thought might help. Yeah, this one's on blowjobs, and then there's one on how to pleasure the clip, but you're familiar with it, so check those courses out. Happiercouples.com. Save 25% with code podcast. And I do think that they're all really valuable learning opportunities for you, your friends, your family, and maybe not your code workers. It depends on your relationship with your coworkers. If you work in my field, you can buy it for your coworkers. Yeah. And if you work in the corporate environment, you know what? You've got Brandon's endorsement. Do not buy them the courses. Do not do it. Okay,

Want to experiment with orgasms? Explore pleasure across every square inch of your body with this head-to-toe pleasure guide that will help you get out of your head and into your body. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Full Body Orgasms Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. This is the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, throwing me off by giving my oneliner that I practice in the mirror. Here's your oneline. Go. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast asked. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half. And Dr. Jess. What are we talking about today? What full body owes? I feel like my voice is a little off today. I had a late night. You did have a late night. I've been trying to stay on European time. How's that working? Because I like waking up at 430 in the morning. I love being up before everyone else. 4 hours later the sun comes up here in Toronto. The problem is you go to bed at 01:00 in the morning, so getting up at four is a bit of a challenge. I went to bed at about two last night. Yeah, I did hear it. Yes, I did. Because I did not stay up that late. I don't know how you slept through us making all that noise. I'm obviously super loud, but I have another extremely loud friend. Oh, really? Brandon has learned to tune us out because our house is small. Like, you can hear everything in the house, but somehow you were asleep. Yes, I was. That's my superpower. I can sleep through anything. No, your superpower is you can tune me and Mel out. I'm going to send this to my friend Mel. So holidays are upon us. This is a super social week for me. Every day and every night I've got events and social gatherings and parties and I'm excited. I'm a little nervous because everyone's sick and I'm trying to stay healthy. It's a two cough, two sneeze threshold for me. Unless you're one of those eight sneeze consecutive people where I'm like, okay, I get it. Someone close talked to me last night, so I started kind of breathing really hard. You're disturbing the air around because I'm sure you looked really normal doing that too. I was hoping he would just kind of back off a little. So you did essentially a candle blowout in his face while he was talking and I was moving my head around in a circle. Was it sexy or was like, what was going on there? It was not sexy. I'm envisioning that right now and it does not look and sexy. No, but I don't know. I'm thinking about social Burnett. I was thinking about how much fun I'm having right now, kind of being back with people. We've got work parties. I've weaseled my way into parties that are not my work parties. We're going to an amazing work dinner on Thursday night for a company we don't work for. I'm hoping to get an employee of the year. This whole easing back in, it's not easy. Listen, a lot of people have been back at it in full steam for a year or more, and some people aren't really going out at all. Obviously, there's people who are higher risk. Of course, there's both ends of the spectrum, but what I'm noticing is that sometimes people are out, and that initial climatization back to social settings was weird. I had somebody full on just let one rip. No, yeah, it was my dad or your mom, in which case it wasn't unusual. It was normal. But no. We're standing in a circle talking, and all of a sudden, I'm like, that wasn't like, wow, that was definitely noticeable. And the odor is also noticeable,

Jess & Brandon share techniques for mind-blowing nipple orgasms and uncover some of the hottest pleasure-zones, including the F-Spot, the 3-Spot & the R-Spot. They also share strategies for supporting a partner who can't orgasm because he "gets in his head." And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Nipple Orgasms & What To Do When Your Partner Can't Orgasm Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey. Hey. This is Brandon and Jess coming at you from the new Fantasy See podcast studios, the Sex with Dr. Jet Podcast Studios, also known as the tiny guest bedroom in our Barcelona apartment. It's super high tech. We got pillows everywhere to try and get rid of those pop pops. But I do want to kind of shout out Brandon for changing his intro. Yes. That took a lot of extra planning. He's been working on it in his little red book for, I don't know, the last couple of dozen minutes, and he came up with, hey, it's Brandon. Hey. That's it. That's all I got. Today we are talking about nipple orgasms, and I'm going to answer one of your questions about what to do when your partner can't orgasm, when they can orgasm on their own, but not with their partner. And we've talked about this before more from a goaloriented perspective. Like, here are some ways you can learn to have an orgasm with your partner. But I want to talk about it from a different angle because this question came in just a little differently. And beginning of December, we're here. The holiday season is upon us. People have been throwing holiday parties already from a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I got invited to a holiday party, I think the end of November. Don't brag. I'm getting, like, no income. I'm just saying I got one. That's all I've got so far. But you didn't go. No, I didn't go. I wonder if people are throwing as many parties because of this terrible cold and flu going around. People are knocked off their feet, sick. So I hope that you are not at home listening because you're stuck at home sick. But I want to say to everyone, I mean, this maybe doesn't apply, but I love you, but please don't come near me if you have a colder you get two random cough or sneezes. Once we get to number three, you're sick. Stay away from me then. I'm counting. I'm counting. It's all over. So, busy season. Hopefully a more relaxing season than in previous years. I think that obviously there's less stress around COVID because most of us are triple quadruple vaccinated, where many of us are still practicing social distancing and wearing masks. It seems like everyone here in Barcelona is sick as a dog. I'm really excited about this year. I'm going to go around licking random objects on the street. Right? If you know Brandon, that's not true. He does not like germs. Keep the sick people away. But yeah, I'm going to go around licking things. Yeah. Well, anyhow, I hope everyone's doing well. Hope you're doing well. I wanted to mention the fact that it was just World AIDS Day a couple of days ago, maybe a week ago for you now, and want to talk about the fact that HIV and conversations around HIV AIDS have really, I guess, fallen to the wayside. In light of the fact that we're going through this global pandemic and with the focus on the pandemic over the last few years, resources, whether it's related to press coverage or money or agency supports, have actually really dwindled, which means that millions of more people are at risk.

From clitoral orgasms to prostate orgasms to G-Spot orgasms and everything in-between, Jess and Brandon share tips & personal insights & experiences on orgasm. They also discuss how height affects sexual pleasure and chat about the Peony & Mushroom sex toys. If you're shopping for toys, be sure to check out LoveShopToys.com and use code DRJESS to save! And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Have Different Types Of Orgasms Part I Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your hostess, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Suggest, here to talk orgasms today and all the different types of orgasms. Brandon, how many types of orgasms do you think there are? 1010. Different. Just a random number I've thrown out. Yes. What we were going to talk about, about ten or eleven. Okay. I don't have the answer to that. I think it would be sort of infinite. There could be all not infinite. All right. Okay. Not going to be thousands of different types of orgasms. Maybe there are, though, depending on how you classify an orgasm. So we're going to be talking about them quitoral, cervical, Gspot, prostate fullbodied blended. I'm going to see how many we get to because, I don't know, there's a lot of them. So we're going to go through I also want to talk about Short Kings, because I've been watching the Sex Lives of College Girls on HBO. Max and I did this press up for Elite Daily the other day, and they were asking me to either confirm or debunk the idea that short men are better in bed. So we're going to get to all of that. But first I want to shout out Love Shop, because Love Shop has been supporting our podcast, and we share so many of our missions in common in terms of just destigmatizing sex, talking about sex, which is obviously what we are here doing. And I had mentioned last week that they sent me a whole bunch of toys. I've been using a handful of them. I don't think I talked about the mushroom last week, so it's a little also known as the Mushroom. Mushroom, mushroom, mushroom. The Mushroom. You say it wrong. I'll tell you what, I'm not going to go put a poll out on this one on Instagram because I'm going to lose. There's going to be, like, four Jamaicans who agree with me, and the rest of the people are going to agree with you. So the Mushroom is a small to medium sized wand that I was I'll be honest, I was a little bit reticent and suspect of it to begin with because it's very, very flexible. It has this really flexible head. It's quite soft and plush. But I am actually loving it again for the same reason I loved the peony from last week. Sorry, go ahead and correct me on peony. Peony. Okay. That one's hard, though. I don't know. I'm going to put the pull out on that one. So the mushroom wand available@loveshoptoys.com. It has a flexible head, and I'm loving it because it feels very diffused, and I like that it's kind of soft. It has some give to it. But if you want to add your own pressure as you kind of get closer to orgasm, you can. So I'm going to shout out the mushroom. I'm going to shout out the Pionee. I love the pionee. I mentioned last week that it has all these little gentle nubbins on it. And I've never, ever in my life used a product like this. So very, very cool. And then finally the Kala lily. I love the Kalalai because it's a lily with a little tonguelike device sticking out of it.

What makes an orgasm bigger or better? How do you know if you or a partner has had an orgasm? Can some bodies orgasm more easily than others? Tune in for an orgasm Q&A on everything from faking to mindfulness and more. Brought to you by our friends at Love Shop. Don't miss their Black Friday & Cyber Monday 50% off sales. And if the sales are over, save 15% and get discreet 2-4 day shipping with code DRJESS. Be sure to check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your moves and learn some new skills all while laughing along to Dr. Jess' hilarious jokes. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Have More Fun With Orgasms! Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware, are here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. We are talking orgasms today. Give me your best orgasm. I'm not going to. Oh, no. And we're done. Why is it an oh, no? I was going to say no. I wasn't going to do it, but it happened too quickly and I rolled with it. Okay, we are answering your questions about orgasms. They have been piling up. I have a whole heap of them in my email, and we're going to try and get to as many of them as possible today. And before we get to your questions, I want to announce a new partnership with our friends over at Love Shop Toys. And I'm super excited to be working with them because I've been chatting with them recently and we're really aligned on, obviously, the mission of destigmatizing sex talk and just starting more conversations around the topic. And they have sent me a box of goodies that are totally different than any of the other goodies and toys I've talked about in the past. So I'm going to briefly tell you about three of them. They sent me a whole lot more than three. So it's been a busy week. But I started with three flower toys. So the rose in the thistle, the pionee and the callalilli. And Brennan's going to say it's. How do you say pionee? Peony. Fine. Peony. Whatever. But my mother said, pioneering up. I'm going to start there. Always start with your mom. And I'm biased because the pionee is my favorite flower. My mom grows them in her garden. They only boom for this short period of time, which for me, makes them feel special. So I was totally ready to love this toy and I did. So it is very different in its design than any other product I've used because it has these kind of tiny bristles or silicone ticklers, sort of like the very, very soft bristles of a head massager. Or when I was growing up, we had this really soft potato cleaning brush. But anyhow, you'll see bristles like this or massagers in facial products, right? The kind that sort of vibrate on your face to clean up the skin and improve circulation. And I hope I'm describing it properly, but if you want a visual, head on over to Loveshoptoys.com. Dr. Jess. I really like this one because it's really gentle. And here is the kicker. For me, the sensations felt really diffused and dispersed, as opposed to being kind of pinpointed. So if you're more sensitive or you just like a more diffuse sensation, this one is for you, the pionee. Next, I tried the Kala Lily, and this one was interesting because it mimics the movements ...

How do you talk about porn in relationships? What if you disagree about porn? Why would a partner opt for porn and masturbation over partnered sex? Jess & Brandon weigh in on a listener question related to her fiancé's porn use. They share communication prompts and strategies for discussion porn when you and your partner are not on the same page. And once again, if you are looking for The Sex Spreadsheet, check that blog post here. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Be sure to check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your moves and learn some new skills all while laughing along to Dr. Jess' hilarious jokes. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Q&A: Help! My partner picks porn over me Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other or half and Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey, how you doing? I'm great. How are you doing? I'm excellent. I've been unpacking sex toys all morning. Yes. Got sex toys on sex toys. It's boxes and boxes of new vibes. What else did you do with them while you were unpacking them? Why are you saying that? Oh, I juggled them. I juggled them. Yes, I've been juggling sex toys. I'm not very good at juggling. And a circus show at our house this morning. I do juggle for the gram. Just for the gram. People are always like, oh, you can juggle. I'm like, no, I can't juggle. I can only juggle long enough to do a loop on the gram. Same thing with headstands. I'd like to credit my filming abilities because it looks like you juggle for hours on end. Oh, yeah, I wish. I wish. Yeah. Every time people see me, they ask about yoga. They're like, oh, you're doing more yoga. I have no clue what they're talking about. It's because I put headstand pictures on Instagram. People think I do yoga, but all I do is a plain headstand. You got crazy headstand abilities. Like, you can hold a headstand for days, and you can do it on it. I'm going to throw it over to you right now. You can hold a headstand on a paddle board, angled surfaces on the beach. Well, not for days. I'm falling down just walking on them. And you're doing headstands. Your headstand is getting good, but it's performative. People listen. I'm just doing it to get the picture and to get the video done so that I don't have to learn any TikTok dances. Well, I like it. It works out well. So these sex toys, I have a small house and too many sex toys, but I'm really excited because I got some new ones that I've never seen before. So LoveShop sent me a whole bunch of toys. One is a mushroom or mushroom for people who don't like mushrooms. Mushroom. Say it again. A mushroom. A mushroom. That one feels really, really good. Even I liked that one. And then I got a pionee or peony. I don't know. My mom said pionee.

Journalist, hip-hop artist, and porn performer, Malcolm Lovejoy, joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on music, sexual rights, the adult industry, orgies, sex clubs, and more. What makes for a successful orgy? What really goes down at a porn shoot? Why do sexual rights matter? What is the porn star experience? We've extended the Mindful Sex sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Lessons From A Porn Star: Orgies, Love & More! Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Or Jess. Hey. Hey. And today we are joined by Adam. You Malcolm Lovejoy, whom we ran into just a few weeks ago at the Taboo show in Toronto. And it had been a couple of years. I just want to tell the people about you before we dive in. So you are a hip hop artist, a journalist. You are an adult entertainer. You are the winner of two International porn awards. Feminist porn. I think that's right. And you're just a lovely person. You're passionately, devoted to providing safety, satisfaction, sexed, inspiration, and everlasting memories for folks of all genders and exploring just intimacy, needs and sexuality. Your services range from I was looking at your website. You have massage, you have cuddling, you have the boyfriend experience, the porn star experience, love coaching. You do it all. And I know that that short bio does not do you justice. So what did I miss? Tell us about you. Oh, I am honored and I'm thankful that you spread the truth. I don't know if I could say all, but I do as much as my body and mind and soul possibly can in a day for somebody who needs love and truth and help in this very violent and cold and beautiful and crazy wild world we're all in. I do my best. It's been ten years. I have won a couple of awards, and I've got X amount of experience in what I like to call the trenches of love and relationship. I also do music. I'm working on a book, and the book has been my Achilles heel for some reason. I could write articles and I could write BIOS for other people and I could write about poly all the time, but finishing my book has been a problem. But I'm a big book nerd about sex, so I'm doing what I can in this life to spread love and joy and truth. Well, we look forward to the book, and I think we need to talk about that connection between hip hop and porn and your journey from hip hop to porn and back and forth. And, of course, we're dealing with this week the brutal and tragic death of takeoff from Migos. And I've seen numerous reactions across social media platforms ranging from kind of accusations around hip hop and the supposedly inherent violence to reactions that are really informed by love and reasons why it can be difficult for so many. Folks to access love and why we turn oftentimes to violence and being territorial and how that's rooted in, you know,

Do you sometimes feel like you talk a lot, but your partner doesn't really hear you? Have you told them what you like, but they don't seem to get it? This week, we weigh in on how to overcome blockages that hinder sexual communication. We've extended the Mindful Sex sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Are you looking to add some excitement to your love life? Whether you're enjoying solo sex or having fun with a group, check out some of these vibrating, pulsing and stimulating toys from our friends at We-Vibe to spice up your sex life. Use code DRJESS to save! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexual Communication Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my my lovely other half and Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. Today we are talking about how to get a lover, a partner to understand what you really want, how to really communicate and listen and push through the nonsense, the fog, the sociocultural conditioning that maybe makes it difficult for us to listen and hear. And we have a question from you, dear listener. And last week we talked about the spreadsheet, the sex spreadsheet, and a bunch of you emailed me asking for it. So if you do want to copy, I'm happy to send it out. I haven't put it online, but if you want to copy, shoot us an email info@textbookdoctorjust.com and we will send it your way. I also had some follow up questions from the Blow Job Blue Job sessions. We did a couple of couple of those episodes about lube, and I was talking a lot about Loo, and they wanted to know what kind I recommend. And honestly, there are really great lubes on the market, so I have to share. Full disclosure, I work with Astro Glide, so I tend to use Astroglide Organics, which is paraben free and fragrance free and glycerin free and all that jazz. I also like pure woman P-J-U-R. But I've tried dozens and dozens of lubes. Brandon kind of just reaches, I think, for whatever is next to you. Right? You're not picky at all. Yeah, I'm not picky. Whatever is in the cupboard, I'm happy to use. Yeah. So some people just aren't that particular. So I would suggest if you're able to go to a local sex positive shop, you can kind of feel the lubes and taste the lubes to see what works for you. And there are a ton of tons of different brands out there. Organic stuff, water based stuff, silicone based stuff. The silicon based lube will last a little bit longer, and you can use it in the shower because it doesn't wash away as easily and it tends to be a little bit slicker. And then the waterbased stuff is just a little bit more generally, a little bit more viscous, and will wash away more easily. And a lot of people will opt for that. For example, oral play and anything to do with the vagina, but you can use both kind of anywhere. Anyone who's having anal generally uses a silicon base lube just because there's a little bit more padding to it. It's a little bit thicker and longer lasting. Yes, you might have been away recently, and I might have used one, and it didn't wash away in the water and had to use something to get rid of it. Like just soap, right? Soap and water. Yeah. Okay. Yes,

This week, Jess & Brandon are sharing tips and tools from some of the happy couples they've met over the past month. Tune in to find out about sex spreadsheets & boobs-around-the-world. Thank you to AdamandEve.com for their ongoing support of our podcast. Use code DRJESS to save 50% on almost any single item + get FREE shipping and a bunch of free gifts. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! And if you want to use the Sex Spreadsheet yourself, click here to access. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Sex Spreadsheet Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex withDoctor Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost Brandon Weir, here with my love of the other half, Dr. Jess. Who's got the giggles? I don't know why. Halloween's coming up, and I can only think of the French song say Halloween. Hey, say lauene. Who knows next line? No one does. Ever. I think about one in five of you are Canadians. Maybe you didn't go to French Immersion, but we all sang that song. Yeah, but I'm serious. I do not know any other lines from that song. No, there were no other lines. No one listening knows what we're talking about. They might. They might have watched a French Canadian show called WADA Tao. Oh, my gosh. Seriously, man, we are going down rabbit hole. Okay, we need to get back on track because we just started here. So I've been doing a bunch couples retreats. Been back to work, feeling good, pretty excited, feeling super motivated. I'm always surprised at how much I want to do when I'm doing more. Like, the less I do, the less I want to do. And the more I do, the more I'm like, yeah, I can do it all. So I've been flying around, working with some amazing groups. My back is hurting, though, because I think I've been flying for 16 hours over the last weekend with no WiFi, by the way. That's an experience to fly with no WiFi. Well, for somebody like you who enjoys being engaged and being able to send out messages, yeah, I like to work. I can't watch a movie on a plane or watch a television show. It doesn't work for me. I can do that. Yeah, I know. I hear you laughing from behind me. I'm that guy on the plane. I like that, though. That always kind of boosts my spirits when someone's having a really good time with a movie next to me. But I'm not a movie person, so I was just working and not sending out emails. You know, when you write, like, you respond to, like, 50 emails and they all go out at once, people wonder why you're emailing them at midnight when you land anyhow back now. And every time I finish a retreat, I have notes on not only what I can do differently, but also what I took away from the participants. And so one of the things that I took away this time around was really, really cool and tangible. I can touch it because it's a handout. And at the end of the session, one of the participants came up to me and said that he has a list that he used with his partner about, I think, a year or so after they met. And it's sort of like a yes, no, maybe list. And it's interesting because he hadn't heard of those. And most of you have probably heard like yes, no Maybe lists for King, for BDSM, where there's a whole bunch of things you can do and then you kind of fill out yes, no, Maybe, and you can find a bunch online. But he made this totally from scratch for their personal use and he told me that I could share it,

From "The Tunnel" and the "Claudia" to "The Twist N Shout" and "The Cheater", tune in for advanced oral sex techniques designed to take pleasure to new heights. You'll learn to stimulate the inner penis, intensify orgasms and explore new hot spots to keep your lover coming back for more. And if you really want to take your blow jobs to the next level, check out our Mind Blowing Oral video course and use code PODCAST to save 25%. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Best Blow Job Tips Pt II Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess, four times a charm. Hi. Tongue tied today, and I don't know why. I know many words. We've been talking all weekend. We have. It was a great weekend. Yeah. We spent the weekend in Toronto at the Taboo Nativa Night Show, and a bunch of you all came out to say hi, and it felt really good. Yeah, there was such great news and feedback from the peeps. I really appreciated it and and energy. We have to give a shout out to a gentleman, a very well dressed gentleman. Yes. Best dressed at the show. But also he got us a couple of massages and just kind of dropped off the gift certificate and left, so you know who you are. Thank you so much. It was super sweet. It was so cool to just be around people and getting feedback. It's so interesting because I'm used to being in kind of workshops and seminar spaces where you know what's going on, you know how people are responding, if they're laughing, if they're squirming, if they're coming with extra questions. But when you're doing, like, television or podcast, there's none of that interaction. So it's really cool. There are so many people who are swing fans. Back from my Playboy TV days. I don't know if everybody if you know that. We used to host a show on Playboy TV about swingers, and it was a reality show with a bunch of swingers living in a house. And every weekend I'd bring in a new couple who thought they wanted to try swinging, and I'd kind of walk them through this TV contract. I mean, it was a contract for the relationship, but it was for TV production and take a pulse of where they were in the relationship and make sure they were feeling comfortable and help perhaps bring up any concerns. And then they'd spend the night with, I can't remember, maybe eight other swinger couples, and they'd have the opportunity to swing if the compatibility and the attraction existed. And then the next day, I'd go back and do a little debrief with them. And I still so many years later. I don't think I've worked on the show in at least how long do you think it's been? Six years? Five years? Seven years? I was going to say. Yeah, it's been a while. But I still get emails from folks asking to come to the Swinghouse, and I get emails from folks who want to come to the swing house but don't want to be filmed. Seriously, I still get these emails every single week. Isn't it just a sex club? Well, what it is, though, is an environment that made people feel safe, right? Not only did you feel safe, but I guess all the attention was also on you because I...

Boost your confidence and skills when it comes to giving (and receiving) oral sex. There are no sure-fire tips or techniques for better blow jobs, but Jess & Brandon have some insights to help you discover new pathways to pleasure. From the "Liquid Trace" to the "Air Head" to the "F-Spot", tune in to discover novel approaches to blow your lover's mind. And if you want to take your blow jobs to the next level, check out our Mind Blowing Oral video course and use code PODCAST to save 25%. Thank you to Womanizer for their ongoing support of our podcast. Use code DRJESS to save at Womanizer.com and be sure to check out their SALE section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. Find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Better Blow Jobs Pt I Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other other half, dr. Jess. You're smiling. Is it because we're talking about blowjobs? Tis is it? It's one of the many reasons I'm smiling. Why else are you smiling? Because our conversation has us very close together today. We are coming at you recording in a very different spot. Today we have to sit very close to making it work. Studio is very different. Today. When we say studio, we use that term quite loosely. I can feel his breath on my cheek. I can feel your heat. Something like that. But we are we're talking blow jobs? Let's do it. You like blow jobs? You know, they're all right. Okay. One to ten. Not in comparison to any physical experience. Like a kick in the balls, for example. One to 1010 being the greatest. One being the least greatest in terms of sexual acts and sexual pleasure and things you've done. Where does the blowjob register? People are going to judge me. I'm going to get some hate comments here. I'm probably like a six and a half or seven. That's actually not a reflection of you. It's a reflection of me, the blowjack. I know, and I know that that's where it's going to go. It's just that there are other things that rank higher for me. Okay, what's higher? The sex. Oh, like intercourse? Yes. Okay, what else? The sex. Anything else? It depends how I feel. I mean, I love a good handy. More than a blow job? It depends on the day. For real. Okay. And the sensitivity. Okay. Yes. All right. So we're going to talk about blow jobs and some techniques. I got a whole bunch of questions on blow jobs. Let me find them here. Okay. I got a message from someone who wants to know how important are blow jobs? How long should they last? What position should I be in? What techniques are best? How do I use my hands? Should I avoid the balls or go right for them? That's a lot of questions about it. I like the last part of that. Just should just get right at them. Should I stab them, or should I do give them a good tug, just give them a flick. Well, it's interesting because obviously all these answers are highly subjective. What did you put? Blow jobs that on a scale of one to ten, make a six and a half to seven. Okay. All right. And so other folks can send us their numbers. Nice, simple, short emails and messages. Where does the blow job register on my end in terms of blow jobs? Obviously, I don't receive blow jobs because I don't have a dick, but I like them. I like them. I'm glad that you put them higher than you. Really? Okay. But I mean, if you're not valuing them,

What is hot husbanding, and how can you pursue a threesome safely? Jess weighs in on a question from a hot-husband wife in this quickie episode. Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE VIP rush processing at AdamAndEve.com with code DRJESS50! If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Hot-Husbanding Threesome Q Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey. Hey. I am flying solo today, excited actually, for a listener question on Hot Husbanding. So we've talked before about hotwifing and we had a hot wife and her partner on the show not so long ago, but we have never talked about Hot Husband and not easy to say husbanding. So I have a lovely note here and I'm going to read through it because it's a little bit long and I want to keep in all the pieces. She says I'm a straight woman who is very happily married to my husband of more than 30 years. He is an incredibly devoted husband and father. We are very interested in participating in FFM. Threesome. So two women, one guy. He proposed it early on in our relationship before we were married or had kids, but I wasn't ready at the time and we are both totally on board now. I've done a ton of research, I've extensively read online articles and forums, I listened to every podcast on the subject, I watched your Ted Talk about monogamish marriages, among other things. And we're very open in our relationship in that we discuss crushes, discuss what we would like to do in bed, what our fantasies are, et cetera. I would like to participate in what is called Hot Husbanding. I have no interest desire to have sex with other men, but I find the idea of watching him be intimate with another woman super hot. I've always gotten very turned on talking about his previous partners early in our relationship and when we've gone to strip clubs on two occasions. I found it incredibly erotic when he received a lap dance and I had no issues with jealousy. I don't want anything hardcore as we want to ease into something like this, but thought we could bathe hot tub together, all three of us rubbing, touching each other and move on to massaging each other. Maybe end with an orgasm for her and a hand job or blow job for my husband to see how we would react to the situation in real life. We don't want to swing or have a poly relationship, but we'd like to experiment with this to see if it would be something we could see ourselves enjoying on occasion. We have talked a lot and we both feel we are ready to make the leap. But I have some concerns. Number one, we are on the older end of the spectrum. I'm 52, my husband is 53. We look like we're in our mid forty s and she asks sorry, I'm just skipping some of the identifying information here. Is our age going to make it impossible to find a match? Number two, we're concerned about contracting an STI even if we practice safe sex. Number three, we're really concerned about uploading pictures with our faces to an online app. We have two adult kids and wouldn't want them to find out. And number four, lastly, from what I understand, lots of bisexual females are interested in couples as they like the idea of playing with a male and a female partner. And in our situation I feel that would really limit our possibilities because we just want to participate with me above the waist only. Any advice would be much appreciated. So firstly,

Boost your sexual confidence and pleasure with some very specific tips and techniques for hotter oral (clitoral edition). From the "cross-my-fingers" to the "pussy pocket," Jess shares 15+ approaches to hotter sex in this quickie episode. If you're feeling 'inspired' after listening to this podcast and want to add some excitement to the bedroom, check out WeVibe and their extensive list of products to tickle your pickle, vibe your vulva or pleasure the prostate (and more). Use code DRJESS to save when checking out! Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral on the Happier Couples website. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Better in Bed: 15 Oral Sex Tips Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey. Hey. I hope you are in a good mood already to be put in a good mood because I'm in a good mood right now, mostly because of the topic I'm going to be tackling today. This is better in bed. 15 oral tips and techniques for hotter pleasure, greater excitement, intense orgasms. All for the vulva and the clitoris. And we are just going to dive right in. I've got 15 tips for you today. I think some of them are practical, but many of us need the reminder and some of them are a little bit more technical. Some specific moves and techniques you can try if you want to pleasure yourself or pleasure a partner. I mean, you can't do all of them on yourself unless you're super flexible with your ribs and your ABS and your tongue, but I'm sure you can make do. So let's get started. I'm going to run through these 15 tips. I think it's a bit of a quickie episode today because I am heading out on the Desire Cruise to the Greek Islands and Turkey as well. And I will not have the WiFi on the ship that's strong enough to actually upload a podcast. I'm doing it before I go on my own because Brandon apparently has his own job and I can't afford them. So here we go with 15 oral tips and techniques for the clit and the vulva. So, number one, if you are going down on a partner, regardless of gender, this applies across the board. It doesn't matter what your gender rules are, what your gender identity is, get yourself turned on, okay? So focus on your own pleasure while you go down on them. I think good lovers, generous lovers, sometimes hold themselves back by being too hung up on their partner's reaction, by being too hung up on the technique, by being too into being good in bed. So kind of counterintuitive. But focus on yourself. So get yourself turned on. The more you enjoy yourself, the more your partner will enjoy the experience, the more you'll follow the natural rhythm of their body, of their hips, rather than getting hung up on their specific response or a specific outcome or whether you can do a specific technique. So how do you do that? How do you get turned on? Maybe you fantasize, maybe you touch yourself. Maybe you rub yourself. Maybe you insert or wrap a toy, whatever, around your body. Make sure that you are aroused while you go down on them. And this is also going to help them, especially folks who have evolva have probably received negative messages about our genitals, right, growing up and into adulthood. It doesn't taste good, it doesn't smell good, it doesn't look good. It doesn't look like a Barbie, it doesn't look like a porn star. And of course,

Emma and Fin met in middle school, started dating in college, and have been practising non-monogamy for 15 years. They share their story of falling in love, navigating double dates with other couples, and eventually exploring polyamory as part of a quad. We promise that - their story and insights are valuable regardless of whether you're monogamous or non-monogamous, so have a listen! Emma and Fin's podcast, Normalizing Non-Monogamy can be followed on their Instagram and check out their website here. Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE gifts at AdamAndEve.com with code DRJESS! If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Non-Monogamy: One Couples' Story Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm co host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Today we are talking about non monogamy with MN Finn, the host of Normalizing Non Monogamy. This is a podcast, and they've been exploring non monogamy themselves for over 15 years, personally together. And each week on their podcast, they interview different people who are exploring ethical non monogamy totally in their own individual ways. And their hope is that if they can get enough people to share those stories and get them out into the world, that it'll really provide a resource and community for anyone who is considering non monogamy, because it's not always an easy path, given the toxic monogamous culture in which we live. And overall, their mission is really just to inspire people to embrace their true selves so that together we can all open minds and live authentically without shame. No easy task. Thank you so much for being here. Ms. Fan, how are you doing today? Thank you so much for having us. We're really excited, and we're just doing great this morning. We're really excited for this conversation. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having us. And this as your mission. So helping people to embrace their true selves and live authentically without shame, my goodness, that's a heavy task. A fun one, an interesting one, I'm sure, a very meaningful one, but not easy. And I think what you're doing is really exceptional because you're sharing real stories and you also share a lot about your story. And I absolutely encourage people to go check out your podcast, Normalizing Non Monogamy. And also, before you get there, I would love to hear your story. So I read that you met in 7th grade, and you've been together since freshman year in college, and you've been together a long time, and you're now in this happy non monogamous relationship. So let's start with the story of how you met and kind of how this relationship came to be. Yeah, sure. So we met yeah, as you just said, we met in 7th grade. We were friends throughout high school, middle school, and high school. And then we started dating in college. And from very early on, we started to have the conversation, probably about a year after we started dating, about opening our relationship and what that might mean and what that might look like. We were very naive. We didn't know what we were doing at all, but we were open to having the conversations. And I'll let Finn tell a little bit of that story since he was the one to bring it up to me originally. Yeah, I think that the main sort of catalyst for it was neither of us really dated in hig...

Do you know how to offer support when a loved one is stressed out? Do you feel supported when you're distressed? This week, we share an exercise to help you talk about; your specific needs to deepen your understanding and get more of what you want (and less of what you don't want) in your relationships. Our friends at We-Vibe have an extensive list of toys to help you spice up your bedroom (or any room) adventures. Use code DRJESS to save when checking out. Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE VIP rush processing at AdamAndEve.com with code DRJESS50! If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to be more understanding & supportive (and get more of what you need) Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We are here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. So today we are talking about understanding your partner, how to really understand your partner's feelings and needs and how to support them when they're maybe not feeling as good as they'd like to be feeling. I think today might be case in point for me. One of those days I want to understand. Well, let me start there. Do you feel you understand me? Well, yes, I think that I understand you. Well, you're smiling. It makes me wonder. Maybe I don't, but I think I do. How do you know either how I'm feeling or what I need? Through your words, you're very clear and literal communicator. No, you really are. And I think people interpret that as being very what's the word? Atype dominant. But I think that you're a very literal communicator. So that's one way. And the second way is your body language and another way yeah, well, I was going to say the noises that you make. Do you make a lot of noises? You make a lot of noises. Yeah, and I usually can infer from the noises what it is. Actually, if you ever see Jess and you see her working on a computer, you know who she's talking to, you know, if it's a funny email, she'll be sitting on her computer and drafting an email. And it's like watching someone practicing facial expressions. It's like the big smile. I'm like, I'm actually waiting for you to bust out in a laughter, and then you'd be typing another email, and then all of a sudden, you actually frown. Like you full on frown. And I looked at you one time, I'm like, Are you okay? Are you reading something? And you're like, I'm reading this email, I'm so upset right now. And I'm just like, well, I could tell because your face was crunched up. And that face that you make when you're disappointed when I'm typing my emails, and I guess when I read my emails, I don't even realize it, but there's like a whole dramatic play going on that plays out on my face. People wear their emotions on their sleeve. Mine is totally on my forehead, my nose, my mouth, my eyes. Those are three ways that I feel like I understand you. Your literal words, your body language, and then your sounds and your facial expressions. It's interesting that you say that I'm literal, and I noticed that with you. I'm very clear about how I'm feeling, what I want. But with other people in my life, I'm not. I really struggle to, I think, honestly show anything but, like, excitement and happiness and always be up. And I think it's this role that I've gotten into.

Jess and Brandon discuss research - related to the most common sexual fantasies — from threesomes and group sex to sex with older partners and more. They also share a bit about their own fantasies, and Jess talks about the fantasies she hears about from clients. Finally, they share strategies to open up to your partner(s) about your most intimate fantasies. For further reading on fantasies, check out these links below: What exactly is an unusual sexual fantasy Is it my overactive imagination. The effects of contextually activated attachment insecurity on sexual fantasies Sexual fantasies and viewing times across the menstrual cycle. A diary study Are sex toys a part of your fantasy? If so, use the code DRJESS when shopping with We-Vibe to save! Have fun and let the vibrations elevate your arousal! Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE VIP rush processing at AdamAndEve.com with code DRJESS50! If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Most Common Sexual Fantasies (And How To Talk About Them) Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, are you ready to talk sexual fantasies? Are you in a fantasy mood? Like, I know you're not in a great mood today. What? I'm not talking about I'm in a great mood. You're not cranky, but you're something that rhymes with cranky. Okay, yes, I might have been somewhat irritable earlier today, but that phase has passed to a new phase. I'm in a great mood now. You keep telling yourself that. Yeah, exactly. Okay, sexual fantasies. All right. Do you have a lot of them? No, not right now. When did you have a lot of them? Between the ages of twelve and probably 22. Do you think it was an age thing or do you think it was a lack of sex? I think it was both. Probably a lot of the first point there. Actually, no, it was the latter. It was definitely the latter. What am I talking about? Let's be real. You met me at 23. I did. That's why I had a lot of fantasies before because I didn't have that much sex. Well, you had that year in between, I guess, 22 to 23 where you had a lot of sex. No. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, no. Super awkward. Yeah. I'm kind of like stumbling over my words because as a teenager, I fantasize a lot. Did not have a lot of sex. What did you fantasize about? Inanimate animate objects. The chair, the lamp, grass. Wind you up. A grass. You know what? Maybe I should say these are the things that got me going at the time. Oh, you didn't fantasize it. But rubbing up against them. They were just things that caused me to think sexual thoughts. So what were the sexual thoughts when you eventually got there? I've always been somebody who's been more interested in fantasizing about non celebrity people. It was always attainable. People. No, really? It was never. People would be like, oh, I love to get with I'm going to date myself when I start talking. Are you going to say? Carmen Electra? No, I wasn't going to say cartra. I thought you're going to say Carmen Electra. Cindy Crawford. You really are old. Yes, I know, right? She's beautiful. She is. But my point is that friends that I was around would be like, oh, so and so, or this movie star or that person. And for me it was like, that's never going to happen.

When should you start talking about porn (literacy)? How can you support a teen who has been sexting? How do you explain where babies come from to a 4-year-old? What is the first thing parents should teach kids about sex? What are some ethical porn sites for 18+-years-olds? Dr. Karen Rayne, author, educator, and executive director of UnHushed, joins us to answer your questions about sex education and how to talk to youth about sex & relationships. UNHUSHED curricula empower people, making it possible for individuals of all ages to make honest, ethical, and empathy-based decisions about their sexuality. Their resources provide the knowledge needed to make crucial decisions and the tools to communicate with current and potential partners. Their curricula and lessons plans are comprehensive (covering birth to adulthood), innovative, fun, inclusive & revised yearly to be on the cutting edge of the constantly evolving sexuality education field Check them out and be sure to check out our sponsors AdamAndEve.com — save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping with code DRJESS. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Talk To Youth About Sex, Porn & Sexting Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Hey, it's the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. And today we're talking about the most important topic. In my opinion, this is the reason I got into the field. Most of you know that I was a high school teacher, that I saw the gaps in the system, and I went back and did my research around sexual health education. And of course, we talk about all sorts of things on this program. But we're getting back to me, really what the roots of my work in this field really are, and that is sexual health education. Today I am joined by Dr. Karen Rain, who has been working in education for 20 years with expertise in sexuality education. She has a PhD in Educational psychology from the University of Texas at Austin, where she focused on ethics education and the choices that adolescent mothers make. She is the executive director of UnHushed. This is sex ed done right resources and curriculum that I hope you will all check out. Dr. Karen Rain, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. Jess it's a pleasure to be here. Tell us a little bit about anhushed this project that you have launched and you are leading, and I know you have an entire team alongside of you. I do, yeah. My formal education started in being a high school teacher as well, actually. And I don't know how many people know this, but I was going to teach English with chemistry as my secondary subject. And then I got into the schools and I was like, oh, I can't use these really fun, innovative methods that I've learned about in my college career. So I'm back to college and got a PhD in educational psychology, learned a whole bunch of new fun ways to talk with students in classrooms and ways to do education. I was kind of casting about for what to do with this PhD in educational psychology that I was walking away with and kind of fell into sex education because I had a friend who had a 14 year old who had a pregnancy scare. And so I was like, well, my friend was like, bemoaning the lack of comprehensive sex education in Austin. The kid's school didn't do anything and planned parents here to do things on contraception,

This week, we share advice for shy couples at a sex club -- how to meet new people, language to open conversations, and how to prep for awkward conversations. Shout out to AdamAndEve.com, out wonderful sponsor for this podcast. And remember you can get 50% OFF almost any single item and received some Free gifts and Free shipping with my my code DRJESS. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to meet at a sex club Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, how are you? I'm good. I'm interested in this topic today because it's about shyness. That is something that I don't think you are I'm not familiar with. Although I was shy when I was younger, and in certain environments, I'm not really shy, but I'm intimidated. Do you mean right now? What do you mean? When you were younger? No, now, like, you know that there are certain groups that I find where I don't feel like I fit in, where I feel like I'm an outsider. I'm not shy, but I'm uncomfortable, so maybe I actually overcompensate for my discomfort by being extraverted. You're definitely not shy. No, I'm not shy. I don't know if I find myself being the same as you being uncomfortable, like, not saying anything in certain environments, but I have found myself saying less in certain environments these days. But I think you're more comfortable with yourself. I think you were raised to make conversation with people in a culturally appropriate way, where I was raised to just, like, chat nonsense to everyone or stay hidden in a corner. I'm good at talking small talk. Yeah, you are good at small talk. I think I am. I will make a quick comment that post pandemic or I know we're not the pandemic is not over. Let me be clear. However, I do find myself at a loss sometimes. The first few social vest, you may tell, is like, I breathe. You breathe, too. Let's be friends. We have so much in common. Hair. Hair. It's getting better. So, yeah, I actually have found myself in the same boat where conversation used to flow more freely. And since the onset of the pandemic, I feel maybe I have a little less to talk about or things feel very heavy, so I don't want to make the same type of small talk. But then people are also tired of talking about COVID, and then there are more awkward silences. Yeah, there's a lot happening here. But before we jump into this very interesting conversation, let's give a show to the sponsor, Adam and Eve.com. Promo code. Doctor Jess, what did you say the last time? Rub your knob, tickle your pickle. All sorts of great things. And what are they also offering in addition to the 50% off discount code? So it's 50% off almost any single item, free shipping and a few free goodies with code Doctor Jess at Adam and Eve.com. Amazing. All right, let's get to your question. So this lovely person wrote in and says, my partner and I recently ventured out and attended Oasis for the first time. So for folks who don't know, oasis is a wicked sex club downtown Toronto, just around the corner from my place, actually.

Should I use Kegel balls? What's a good prostate toy that's not too big? Can I isolate my vaginal and anal muscles in pelvic floor contractions? Do I have a wedding ring fetish? Jess answers your questions on this week's quickie episode. Here's a special offer for our listeners: save 25% off on Happier Couples Inc with code PODCAST. Check out the Mindful Sex course or learn a few techniques with Mind Blowing Oral. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex Q&A Quickie Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey, Jess O'Reilly here for a quickie episode of the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast, and today I will be answering your questions. If you have questions, head on over to Sex with the Doctors jess.com and send them in, and I will do my best to get to them in the upcoming weeks and months. Today we're going to be talking about the pelvic floor vaginal eggs. I have a question about prostate toys and looking forward to hopefully sharing some useful insights that benefit everyone, whether you are the person who sent in the question or not. Before we get started, I want to mention that I am running a promo on my website, happiercouples.com, and you can save 25% off all of the video courses, so mindful sex last longer in bed. The oral sex course is all about blow jobs, hand jobs, touching, cunningas, going down, and anything else you see on there that might interest you. So use code podcast to save 25% at happiercouples.com. Let's dive into these questions. The first one is short and sweet. I love it. Do vaginal eggs work? Okay, so vaginal eggs or balls are inserted into the vaginal canal and people usually use them to work on their pelvic floor. But here's the thing. Eggs or balls, what they do is they help to give you some biofeedback so that you can actually feel your pelvic floor muscles and identify them. They give you something physical to feel inside of you, but they're not necessary. They're not actually doing anything on their own. So it's not as though or doing kegels with a pelvic floor ball or egg is more beneficial. That's not the case. People just find them useful because it helps them to identify those pelvic floor muscles. But once you've learned to identify your pelvic floor muscles, they're really not necessary. And pelvic floor therapists will tell you to use them with supervision because they are not good for all conditions. So, for example, they might maybe recommend them for someone with weakness, but they definitely wouldn't recommend them for someone with pain or tension oftentimes. And again, I'm not a pelvic floor therapist. So if you find them useful and they're not causing any issues for you because some people will find that they are more prone to infection or pain, you know your body best, right? So if it's working for you, sure, go ahead and use them. But if possible, please see a pelvic floor physiotherapist so that they can tell you if they're going to do more harm than good. And they can also show you how to use them and how not to use them. Next question is actually from the same person. They say when I do a kegel, I can't help but tense my anus.

How can you prepare for a hookup if you'll be partying with drugs & alcohol? What protection should you use for different types of sex? How do I talk to my teens about hookups? Jess discuss hookups -- in college and beyond. Check out our sponsor AdamAndEve.com and remember to use my code DRJESS to get 50% OFF almost any single item + FREE gifts and FREE shipping. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Hooking Up Safely Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey, Jess here all on my lonesome to talk about hooking up safely, specifically in the context of college. But I think it applies across the board because I received a question, a lovely question from a lovely listener who I've heard from you before, actually, and she says, my twin daughters are going into senior year, so that's grade twelve for Canadians, so they're not far off from college. I've always talked to them about sex, everything and anything, but now I realize that I haven't talked to them about sex, culture and hooking up and what specifically they can do to be safe and make sure it feels good for them. Can you share some language to help me talk about drugs and drinking and what protection to use for different sex acts? I'm sharing some specific questions below if that helps you to understand what I'm looking for. All right. This is perfect because we were recently talking about the culture of sex on college campuses in the United States and across North America. And I think we need to talk about the specifics of like, how do we plan for this and make sex pleasurable and consensual and amazing and positive. We're just neutral because not every experience is going to be amazing. And I think that talking about drinking and doing drugs is a really important piece. And the first part of this person's question asks, if you're going to be drinking or doing drugs, how do you make sure hookups are safe? And of course, once we introduce substances that impair our judgment and affect our emotional functioning, our cognitive functioning or physical functioning, it can change sex. So I think one of the most important pieces and when I do work with young people, I ask them to consider what do you want to do before you start drinking or using drugs? Because if you plan on doing either or both of these things, of course you can always have the option to stay sober. But if you do plan to do these things, your desires can kind of change over the course of an evening. And you may find seems as though your boundary shift as you get to know a new partner. And so identifying your desires in advance while your mind is clear, while you're sober, can help you to make decisions that feel good in the heat of the moment, right, that you're going to feel good about the next day. So you might find that chatting with a friend helps you to kind of identify your desires and delineate your boundaries. And the conversation, it can be broad,

Not everyone loves having their clitoris touched. In this episode, we hear from a listener who has a specific list of dos & don'ts - when it comes to sexual pleasure. We explore different types of orgasms and pathways to pleasure beyond the clit. Here's a special offer for our listeners: save 25% off on Happier Couples Inc with code PODCAST. Check out the Mindful Sex course or learn a few techniques with Mind Blowing Oral. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. When the clitoris doesn't work Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, brad Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half of Dr. Jess. Hello. Today we are answering one of your questions about the clitoris and orgasm, and I'm going to dive right into it. It's a bit of a long question, but hopefully we'll have a fairly succinct answer for you. All right. This person writes in to say, I am a female in my early thirty s and finally settling into a safe, long term relationship. He is an amazing partner, but currently our intimacy is on some sort of a pause. He has a pretty active sexual history, past partners, but in terms of variety, he's pretty limited. This has posed a problem for us as it's difficult for him to understand my list of sex do's and don'ts. I know that sounds horrible that I even have a list. No, it doesn't. But I find that this is the only way I can enjoy the moment. Number one, no direct clip play. Number two limit nipple play. These two are without a doubt the most confusing. They both feel great to me at first, but I find myself literally going into sort of a system overload within minutes. From there, I'm no longer interested in the rest of the romp. No more touching, nothing. I'm just learning this about myself. So I'm finding it hard to communicate to him without him feeling like he isn't doing it right, particularly because this is what he's used to. We do have open discussions about our sexual preferences, but this one is a mystery. I'm even at the point where if this is an orgasm, I can firmly say that I hate it. This has created serious bedroom anxiety for both of us. And then she asks, is this common? Is this a thing? How can I strike a balance where he isn't under so much pressure? And I'm calling out instructions. How can I experience another type of orgasm? I am so grateful that you wrote in to share your story because the short answer is that you're totally normal. So many people aboard having their clitoral, head and nipples directly stimulated, especially as arousal builds, because these highly sensitive, highly innovated erectile zones just become too sensitive. And in our conversations around not jamming things in the box and doing more than jack hammering, there has become so much focus on hey, stimulate the clit. But what we need to emphasize is that the external head of the clitoris is only the tip of the iceberg. When you vibe, when you lick, when you touch, when you suck, flick, rub against it, it can actually feel like too much, just as it would if you did those things over and over again to the very tip of the penis because they're homologous. So overstimulating the head, so the external part the little round part that sticks out at the top can actually be annoying and it can quash desire and arousal.

What do sex and music have in common, and what's the best music to enhance your sexual experience? Jess and Brandon explore the erotic-musical connection and share their ideal sex playlists. Check out Brandon's playlist here (remember to sign into your Spotify account to access the playlist) and enjoy Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture here. Check out our sponsor AdamAndEve.com and remember to use my code DRJESS to get 50% OFF almost any single item + FREE gifts and FREE shipping. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex playlists! Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Doctor Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. I'm here with my lovely other half, Doctor Jess. Hey, how are you? I'm good. I'm ready to talk music and sex. This is going to be a quickie episode. You're going to be getting many more quickies over the course of the summer. YouTube. Brandon well, thank you for that. I thought I was doing the intro today. But before we jump into things, let's give a shout out to Adam and Eve and their discount code for anyone shopping online for sex toys, lingerie, things that tickle, things that vibrate, things. What else tickle? Your pickle, rub your nub. These are all my one liners. Adam and Eve.com use code doctor Jess for a 50% off discount. Yes, that's right. 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. And they're throwing in some free goodies for you as well, Adam andeve.com all right, let's get into it because like I said, this is a quickie episode and it's all about music and sex. So I'm trying to get to some of your questions, and they're piling up, so I'm getting to them. Now, this person says, I heard you say that we should play music to get in the mood and drown out the sounds. In our house. We have three little ones under six. Man, they've been busy. Yeah, they've been busy. A lot of kids. All right. And he goes on to say, but we can't agree on what music to play. So do you have a playlist you recommend? All right, so we don't listen to music as much as I would like to in the bedroom. We listen to music in the house all the time. There's usually always music playing on the main floor. But what's going on in the bedroom? Why aren't we playing our music? Don't have time to get to it. Can't hit play on the playlist, man. We're done. By the time the music starts, it's over. Would that be your playlist? I'd be like, yeah, I can't get a heart on do you know who that is? That's from your era? No. Is it like Corey Hart? I have no clue. Is Corey Hart the one who wears his sunglasses at night? He does wear his sunglasses at night. I got some pop culture references. I'm excited to talk music and sex because they have so much in common. So we know that music just moves you. It moves you physically, it moves you emotionally. And sex, of course, does the same thing. And one thing I notice as someone who loves music is that you naturally find yourself kind of swaying to the beat for me, at least moving my hips for you. And maybe it's your shoulders. Does my whiteness come out? I'm swaying to the base. Hey, man, I actually hear the base, but my people hear the trouble. You can boogie.

Why does sexual desire plummet and how can you get it back? This week - Jess shares specific tools, tips, and strategies to reignite sexual desire. She also explores the concept of responsive vs. spontaneous desire, the Fire & Ice list, and more! Here's a special offer for our listeners: save 25% off on Happier Couples Inc with code PODCAST. Check out the Mindful Sex course or learn a few techniques with Mind Blowing Oral. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with Lovehoney, Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS15 to save at and be sure to check out their sale section for amazing deals. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to get your libido back Dr. Jess: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey, hey, it's Jess here and today we are talking about how to get your libido back because I receive many questions around this topic but the latest is from a mother of two kids who's been married for five years. And she says, I've always liked sex, but after two kids and five years of marriage, I'm just not into it anymore, and it's causing problems in my relationship. I'm totally attracted to my husband, but I'm just never in the mood, and I want to get my libido back. I think this is a pretty common experience. I think so many of us will see ourselves in this person, whether we have kids or not, whether we're married or not, regardless of gender or relationship arrangement. And I want to begin. by talking about the [00:01:00] reasons we lose our libido, because each of the reasons that we lose libido, or interest in sex is probably a more appropriate language, can hold a potential pathway to getting it back. And that's a piece that I think maybe I should begin with, that libido can be a bit of a misnomer when we consider it a sex drive. Because a drive, you know, the drive to eat, the drive to sleep, the drive to drink water, those Drives are essential to survival of the individual, but sex drive is not essential to the survival of the individual. Yes, you know, theoretically we need to have sex to reproduce, but now we've got all these new technologies So we don't have to and many of us are having types of sex that aren't going to lead to reproduction anyway So i'd like to use the word sexual desire as opposed to Libido or a sex drive and there are so many factors that affect sexual desire. So first i'm going to say that It's okay to not be in the mood for sex. Some people actually never desire sex. And this can be a really perfectly healthy baseline for those folks. Just as some [00:02:00] people don't crave sugar or salt. Some people don't want to have sex and that is okay. I realized that this is not the case for this listener because they say they always like having sex, but if you don't desire sex and you don't want to have sex, that is perfectly fine if that is your baseline. It doesn't mean that you're broken. I know that we love to pathologize and say that, Oh, if you're not in the mood for sex, it's your diet or it's your exercise or it's your attitude or you have to relinquish shame. But for some people, they're just not into it and that's okay. And then the second piece, before we get into the factors that affect desire for sex, is that many people, most of us, do not find ourselves in the mood for sex spontaneously, right?

How can you recognize sexual harassment & what can you do to stop it? What language can you use to interrupt a harasser? How can you start a conversation with a stranger in a respectful way? We share strategies for being an ally, speaking up, and stopping harassment at the gym and beyond. Consent & pleasure go hand-in-hand. Explore pleasure (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and Womanizer.com be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to stop sexual harassment Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, today we've got a serious topic. We are talking sexual harassment. Let me ask you, what do you know about sexual harassment? I know that it happens all the time, every day, to every woman out there, everywhere we go, everywhere. So you can never let your guard down. So growing up, did you learn about sexual harassment? Was there anyone who taught you how to not sexually harass people? The basics where you're not I mean, my parents telling me to be respectful, but there was no kind of context. There was no examples, no role model behavior, no suggestions on what to do, what to say, how to stop it, anything like that. And I'm sure over the course of your lifetime, you've said and done things that were harassing. Yes, I have. So was it just when you think about being a kid or a teenager, was it normalized? And that's not to make an excuse. You're still responsible for your behavior, was it normalized? Yes, it was. In the environments that I'm reflecting back on, it was okay to speak about women in a misogynistic way. Misogynist way? Yeah. I mean, these environments, it was encouraged, and no one stepped up. And I'm thinking a lot about group sports, hockey, some of my workplaces where it was primarily men, and just the way that it was constantly discussed and how no one really stepped up to say, this isn't okay. When you think about some of those male dominated workplaces, there were women there. Yes, there were. And so do you remember seeing incidents of harassment, or was it more just like a vibe you remember? Not the specifics. It's more a vibe. And the women worked at the so I'm talking about when I worked in warehouses when I was in high school and in university, and the women where I work tend to work at the front facing administrative coordinator roles. And the men worked in the warehouse, moving boxes and shipping trucks and doing things like that. So there was a separation of space, but in those maledominated spaces in the back, it was common to speak about women in a demeaning manner. When I reflect back on it, for sure, here's what I'm going to suggest. I'm going to suggest that the women who are in the front heard you. Yes, of course they did. And I should also kind of go on and just add to that. It's not just when I worked in warehouses and when I played hockey and when I played sports. It was most definitely in more corporate environments as well. Absolutely. Behind closed doors when women were out of earshot, or at least that's what they assumed. And in some cases, I'm sure, if I really think back. They weren't out of your shot. Like it was blatant.

Want to have hotter sex on your summer vacation? It starts with a harmonious relationship. This week, we share tips and strategies to help you enjoy a smooth ride -- whether you're traveling by plane, train or automobile. From the 80/20 rule to love letters at 30,000 feet, we've got you covered. Have fun on your trip and try something new! Check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Fighting on vacation? How to have a happy (& hotter) trip Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hello. Hey, how are you? Excellent. I'm excellent. It's the start of summer. It's warm. There are hibiscus growing on my back deck. They're blooming. I am so happy about this. My plan for the summer was to take a break from the podcast, which is why we are not I thought you were going to say why you're doing quickie episodes. We'll be doing quickie episodes throughout the summer, so hopefully there's still going to be some really good content here for you. But it will be a little bit shorter. Not as short as I would like it to be. Probably not as short as you would like it to be. Hey, listen, I can do quick. Yeah, I can do quick. Whatever you need. I have this idea for seven minutes of sex, but I talk too much. Danny, think done in seven minutes. But lots of people going on holiday these days, and today we're going to be talking about just that, because I received a question on Instagram that I love from a listener who writes in, we are going on holiday for the first time in two and a half years. Every time we travel together, we have blowouts. I love to travel. My wife doesn't mind it, but she's not as comfortable in hotels and planes and foreign countries. Once we almost got kicked out of our hotel resort, but that's a story for another day. I like those kind of blowouts, that's passion. You two are always traveling together, and you look so happy. But maybe not just Instagram question mark. We do look happy. I mean, I feel pretty happy. Doesn't mean we don't have the occasional debate. I'm happy if I'm fed. Yes, you are. I don't post pictures until I've eaten, and most of my pictures are food. Okay, so back to the question. Any advice for traveling together and keeping things calm? We leave for Europe for the very first time in July. Well, that's awesome. I'm super excited that you're going to visit Europe for the first time. Yeah. That's exciting. I want to ask, where are you going? But there's no one to answer. I don't know. I'm sure we talked about our first trip to Europe together and the fight that we had on the sidewalk in Barcelona. I remember level headed. Yeah. It was pre smartphones, or we probably had smartphones, but we didn't have the money to activate the data plan. $100 a day, so we didn't have maps. And we were fighting I'm sorry for the repeat, for folks who have heard the story already,

What’s sex like on college campuses? Who is having more sex/hookups? What role does religion play in college sex? Have college students bridged the orgasm gap? Dr. Aditi Paul, author, researcher, and professor joins us to share the results of her research with college students. She shares insights on international students’ sex habits, sugar-dating, Greek life, and much more. Check out Dr. Aditi Paul's book "The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture," and be sure to follow her on her Twitter and Facebook pages. Thank you to AdamAndEve.com for their ongoing support of our program. Please use code DRJESS when shopping to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Hookup Culture, Sugar-Dating & College Sex Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Today we are talking hookup culture and the current collegiate hookup culture with Dr. Adity Paul, the author of the book by that same name, the Current Collegiate Hookup Culture. So we're going to find out what is happening in college. I can tell you all about my hookup experience in college. What was that? It was nonexistent other than you that one night. That one night at one time you hooked up with me. There were people who hooked up with you before me? Very few. There was that exhaust pipe incident. There was a banana peel. There was. You used to hang out at a bar called Hooterville. I did what? Hooterville the Rock. And was it $2 drinks? It was. Hey, don't knock the two dollar drinks. I'm pretty sure you worked at a place that was $2 drinks. Yeah, I bartended and no, I waitressed at a bar called My Apartment, and it was $2 drinks. And as a waitress, you could sell back then, like, $3,000 a night, and there were a gazillion of us waitresses. When it's $2 drinks, people can drink. Well, you can waste drinks when they're $2. You don't care. You didn't waste drinks. I didn't waste drinks. I had no money. I'm going out tonight with $6. You drank people's left and bridge drinks. Admitted, no, but I had a friend that did that. We had a friend that did that recently. Who? Did you remember? No. Where were we? Mike. Yeah, I know it's Mike. We're throwing Mike under the bus here. We were out, and now, in his defense, he accidentally grabbed a drink. He thought it was his drink, and he just started drinking it. I don't remember. I don't think he stopped drinking it. But he drank somebody else's drink. Well, you know, two dollar drinks. All right, so two dollar drinks can often lead to other things, and that's what we're going to be discussing today. Before we get to that, a big shout out to Adam and Eve.com. They are still offering 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. Free. Goodies. So go get your vibrators, go get your latex wear,

What do you do when one partner wants to open up the relationship; and the other wants to stay monogamous? How do you broach the topic? What issues tend to arise among discordant couples? Dr. Liz Powell is an author, sex educator, keynote speaker, and licensed psychologist specializing in non-traditional relationships. They join us to weigh in on this topic and share their perspective as a therapist who also identifies as polyamorous. Over the last 4 years, Liz's book, Building Open Relationships, has helped non-monogamous people around the world grow and strengthen their relationship(s). One person even said it was the “most helpful, up-to-date book on ethical non-monogamy.” Building Open Relationships is a practical, applied resource to help you navigate the world of ethical non-monogamy. As a sex educator and psychologist, Liz believes that Great Sex Can Change The World; and is on a mission to help as many people as they can - to understand and embrace the sexual revolution that’s happening in the world right now. While they are so glad the book has been able to reach so many folks and provide them with some resources, they know that there are folks who haven't been able to access it yet because, until now, it's only been available in print and e-book. Because their mission is to help as many people as they can, they believe that they have a responsibility to make their work accessible to all, so they're doing an Indiegogo campaign so that they can finally record an audiobook! Click here to find out more. Don't forget to give Dr. Liz a follow on Instagram and Twitter! Thank you to AdamAndEve.com for their ongoing support of our program. Please use code DRJESS when shopping to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Discordant Couples: When One Partner Wants An Open Relationship Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your coach co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, we are going to get right into it because our guest is ready to go. The lovely Dr. Liz Powell is a psychologist, a sex educator, a speaker, an incredible author of Building Open Relationships, which is a guide that I've recommended in the past. It's a really practical resource to help you navigate the world of ethical non monogamy. It's not just the theory. It's also like, well, here are some things I should think about. Here are some things that I might want to reflect upon. Here are some ways to start that conversation. This book has been super helpful to me, super helpful to many clients. So I'm super excited to have Dr. Liz with us right now. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me again and for all those compliments on my book. That's so lovely to hear. Thank you. Now, your book has been in print and it's been an ebook,

What are erotic embodiments? Why should we all consider erotic role models? How do we embrace and expand pleasure in our bodies? What are the benefits of learning about gender beyond the binary — personally and professionally? How can thinking beyond the gender binary lead to more pleasure? Dr. Lucie Fielding, therapist and author of Trans Sex: Clinical Approaches to Trans Sexualities and Erotic Embodiments, shares her experience, insights, and advice. Lucie Fielding (English: she/they; Français: elle/iel) is a queer, non-binary femme, and a therapist practicing in Virginia and Washington. She holds an MA in Counseling Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute (2018) as well as a PhD in French from Northwestern University (2008), where she specialized in erotic literature. Their background in literature attunes them to the many ways that cultural scripts inscribe themselves on our bodies and can inform our embodied erotic lives. In addition to their work as a therapist, Lucie is an Adjunct Professor in the Sex Therapy Certificate Program at Antioch University-Seattle as well as a sex educator and workshop facilitator. Thank you to our sponsor, AdamandEve.com — they're still offering 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping by using my code DRJESS. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. If you haven't yet, take a listen to Patricia Nilsson (reporter) and Alex Barker (global media editor) from Financial Times podcast, Hot Money. Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Erotic Embodiments & Polymorphously Perverse Playgrounds of Pleasure Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and Relationship advice you can use Tonight welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I want to say a big thank you to folks who have been sending in questions and comments, but also well wishes, I guess because we sounds sick or we've been saying we're sick. A bunch of people have written in and I've received more questions for the podcast over the last couple of weeks than I normally do. And I promise you we're going to get to them ASAP and try and get to all of them. I always do my best. I know I can't address every single thing, but if you did write in, thank you for the well wishes and we've got your questions and I promise we are slotting them in to share some thoughts. And oftentimes what I'm trying to do, if you're wondering why I don't get to them right away, is I'm trying to find a really good expert who's perhaps better equipped to address than just the two of us. And I'm excited for today's conversation. Before we get to it, a reminder about the Hot Money podcast, which I've just started digging into. And I mentioned it last week, but I'm happy to offer a reminder again that this is a new series about the porn industry and the money behind it. It is hosted in research by Financial Times repo...

How do you begin to process trauma? How do you know if you need to process past trauma? Is it ever too late to process trauma? What are some ways to process trauma beyond psychotherapy? Why do we sometimes become “evangelical” about going to therapy? How can writing be therapeutic? Author and psychotherapist; Farzana Doctor - shares her personal story of breaking up, falling in love & exploring polyamory — all while going through peri-menopause. She shares insights on processing trauma later in life, rethinking self-disclosure in therapy, and writing as a form of healing. She also shares a reading from her new book of poetry, You Still Look The Same. Stay up to date with Farzana; by following her on social media - Twitter and Instagram. Special thanks to our new sponsor this week. Wherever you get listen to your podcasts, take a listen to Hot Money with hosts Patricia Nilsson (reporter) and Alex Barker (global media editor) from Financial Times. Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST. Have fun and explore your body (and your partner's) in the bedroom with We-Vibe and Womanizer! Use code DRJESS to save at WeVibe.com and be sure to check out their sale section this week. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Trauma & Therapy & Writing As A form of Healing Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co co host, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. I like hearing your voice through the mic. It's a different Brandon. Is it sultry and raspy? It's better than real life Brandon. No. Yeah, it is. Well, it's a little deep right now because you're sick. But we'll get to that. This week. We have a brand new sponsor, and it is a new podcast altogether, the Hot Money Podcast. So this is a new series all about the porn industry and the money that fuels it. It's hosted in research by two Financial Times reporters who kind of started digging into the porn industry. And they found that even though porn obviously relies on performers to literally bear it, all the information about the people and the businesses and the money running the industry is hidden away like some sort of a state secret. So on the Hot Money Podcast, their hosts, Patricia Nielsen and Alex Barker, they're taking listeners inside the porn industry to uncover who is really pulling the strings. So their reporting reveals a story that goes way beyond a single person. It's really a story that includes billionaires and tech geniuses and some of the most powerful finance companies in the world. So this is the Hot Money Podcast. And you can listen to the Hot Money Podcast wherever you get your podcast. And hopefully you're already subscribing to this one. So you can go ahead and check out Hot Money. Now, Brandon and I, you may be able to hear are under the weather. And actually we're feeling really good, but our voices and throats are not. So we're lucky that not too long ago we actually sat down with our friend and a former guest, Farzana Doctor, to talk about her experience with dating with trauma, with her new book, Writing as Therapy. As far as on a doctor,

From physical techniques to setting the scene and riling them up, Dr. Jess shares tips, strategies, and approaches to pleasure and orgasm. Be sure to shop WeVibe.com with code DRJESS to save on all toys including the We-Vibe TouchX, Nova 2 & the beautiful Melt. Don't forget to check out www.HappierCouples.com and Dr. Jess' Mindful Sex, Mindblowing Oral (Penis and Clit Editions), Last Longer in Bed and other courses to liven up your sex life. Get 25% OFF when you use code PODCAST. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How do I give my partner an orgasm? Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Participant #1: Hey, this is the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Am. Jess O'Reilly sexologist. And I am totally too on my own today. Brandon is off at work making up for lost time because we have both just returned from a couple of weeks on the road over in Europe. So we were hosting two couples retreats together, and then we were on board the Desire clothing optional couple's crews also hosting workshops. And because that was really more of a work thing for me, he was away from away from the office, away from clients. And he is out making up for lost time today. So it's just me. But I'm quite thrilled to be talking about today's topic on my own. You will hear from my voice that I am definitely under the weather. So this is going to be a little bit of a quickie, but I think still rich in detail and hopefully useful information for everyone out there. I received a couple of different emails from two very different listeners, if I understand these emails correctly. So one is a young guy in College, and one is an older gentleman who has been with his wife for decades and decades. And I got some very specific questions about how to make your partner orgasm. And I really appreciate these questions. I'm really thankful that these two guys and many people out there are really thinking about their partner's pleasure and really looking to prioritize their partner's pleasure. And so the questions came in kind of similarly, even though each of their circumstances is quite different. So without reading the long letters, the first guy is in College and he's been with his girlfriend for only a couple of months. And he doesn't know if she's enjoying sex. And he really just wants to know, how do I make her orgasm? And then the other guy has been with his wife for many, many decades. They really didn't have a lot of sex when they were younger. They're now empty nesters. And he's looking to kick things up a notch. And he acknowledges that maybe her experience with sex hasn't been quite as satisfying as his over the years. And he wants to change that. And he has some very specific questions about how to help out with clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. So, yes, very specifically, how do I give her a clitoral orgasm? How do I give her a vaginal orgasm? And so we're going to get into all of that. And I can feel myself actually, as I start talking that I'm a little bit out of breath from this illness I'm dealing with. And I'm sure, of course, millions of people around the world have been sick over the last couple of years. So many of you out there know what I'm feeling. So I will try and keep my breath up and keep my voice up for this conversation. So let's start with from the very beginning,

What is masochism and why can pain feel so good? How do you differentiate between safe indulgences and pain versus self-harm? How can you begin to explore masochism for your own pleasure? How do you ensure consent while playing with pain and pleasure? Researcher and journalist, Leigh Cowart, joins Jess & Brandon to discuss the interface of revulsion and arousal. Their latest book, "Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose" is about all the ways humans consent to feeling bad, to feel better. And be sure to follow Leigh Cowart on Twitter at @voraciousbrain. Don’t forget that we’re offering 25% off our Mind-Blowing oral courses at HappierCouples.com with code PODCAST. Learn tips, strategies and techniques to ignite the spark & blow your lover’s mind with these 5-part video workshops for the clitoris and the penis. If you have questions, please send them our way, right here. We love hearing from you. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Masochism and The Pleasure of Pain Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Your cohost, Brad Brandon Ware. And today we are going to be talking pleasure and pain and why pain can be so hot and how to explore pain consensually for maximum pleasure and excitement. I like that. And we have some industry news before we dive into pleasure and pain. And I want to shout out a company who isn't a sponsor, but I'm just really excited for them. This is Laurels, and this is a brand who just had their underwear approved by the FDA for safer oral sex. And I always get questions about oral sex and protection and going to play parties or swing clubs. And of course, you can use condoms on a penis, you can use dental dams on a vulva or a butt. But this is really a game changer because Laurels makes these kind of really sexy, ultra thin, latex undies that are they're silky to the touch and they're stretchy. And honestly, they're adorable. And you use them one time for oral play and FDA approval for I think a product like this is obviously so important, but also a bit revolutionary because everything has been so focused on just one type of kind of penetrative sex, especially in sex education and safer sex. Of course, those of us working in the field have moved beyond that. But now the FDA is finally jumping on board. And oral sex is really one of the most direct routes to pleasure and orgasm for those of us with Vulvas. So this is really cool. And you can use it, of course, on a Volvo or a butt. And yeah, when you have oral sex, of course, there is risk. There is a risk of STIs. And I think people are now more aware of the link between oral sex and STIs and STIs, like HSB and the potential for throat cancer. And of course, I'm not here to scare people off. Like, when you have sex, there's going to be risk. Just like when you get into a car, there's always risk. But if you can reduce your risk, sex is just going to be so much more relaxed and pleasurable and hot. And I have to say, I really a lot of us like the sensation of touch and oral through a really thin barrier, like, you know, how it can feel so good to be touched through the clothes as opposed to just straight on the skin. Do they make them in larger sizes for people like me who want to wear a pair? They do. They do. They come in multiple sizes. So, yeah, big. Congrats to Laurels on the FDA approval. Very cool for folks who are wondering, Laurels is get Laurels on IG LORALS.

What are some signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist? Does narcissism exist along a spectrum? How can you manage narcissistic behaviours — with a partner, parent, or other loved one? What does it say about us if we love toxic TV (like The Ultimatum)? What are trauma glimmers? Psychotherapist Tasha Bailey joins us to answer these questions and many more! Tasha Bailey is a creative psychotherapist, facilitator, educator & content creator based in London, England. Her platform @RealTalk.Therapist shares her knowledge of self-care and mental health and spills the tea on therapy to break down the stigma of asking for help. And follow Tasha on her social media accounts from her Instagram to her Facebook. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 15% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Narcissism & Toxic TV with Tasha Bailey Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon, and we're here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I'm really excited for this topic. Today we are going to be talking about toxic TV. I've just started watching The Ultimatum as research for this conversation. We'll also be talking about how to deal with narcissistic, partners, parents, siblings, friends with the fabulous Tasha Bailey, a creative psychotherapist, a facilitator and educator, an amazing content creator based in London, England. Her platform at RealTalk Therapist shares her knowledge of selfcare and mental health and spills the on therapy to break down the stigma of asking for help. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. It's such a joy. I'm excited for this chat. I'm so excited to hear from you. So you're a therapist. I have to ask to begin with, what made you become a therapist? So I want to be a therapist at a very young age, which is very unusual. Most people who become therapists, it's such in the UK, it's like a second career. Like maybe you're a teacher first and you realize that actually mental health has been important. Whereas I wanted to become a therapist at the age of about 15 and it kind of transpired by Nickelodeon. There was this film called Harry at the Spy on Nickelodeon and she was like a twelve year old kid. She went to go see a child psychotherapist. And I remember being like, wow, that's a really cool job. It's just a guy sitting with toys everywhere and helping children talk about their feelings. And so from there I was like, that's the job that I want to do. And initially I only want to work with children. I never saw myself working with adults. I just want to work with children and trauma and probably that's from my own story as well.

How do you build compassionate open relationships? How do attachment styles show up in non-monogamous relationships? What is a non-hierarchical arrangement? How can you heal from previous trauma? How can you be more conscious in your relationships (and in life more generally)? Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Kate Loree, joins us to address these questions and share insights from her new book, Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. Kate Loree is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist and with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities. In addition to her master’s in marriage and family therapy, she also has an MBA and is a registered art therapist (ATR). Kate is an EDSE certified sex educator and an EMDR certified therapist with additional training in the Trauma Resiliency Model (TRM) for trauma treatment. She has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003. Her private practice resides in Encino, CA. For more information, please visit her on the web at KateLoree.com or follow her on social: Instagram TikTok Facebook Twitter YouTube If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 15% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Open Relationships: Psychology, Attachment Styles & Communication You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Jess O'Reilly here on My Lonesome without Brandon, it's just you and me. Plus, Kate makes three. We are going to be talking open relationships and how they're affected by our attachment styles, by past trauma, as well as different models for empathetic communication with Kate. Laurie and I'm Super excited about this before Kate joins me, a reminder that Adam and Eve.com is back with us again for 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping and a bunch of free goodies with code Dr. Jeff. So if you are in the market for a butt plug, for anal beads, for lube, for sex furniture, for any sex toys, lingerie, latex fetishwear, all that jazz, Adam and Eve.com code Doctor Jess will get you that big, big savings of 50% off almost any single item. All right, let's talk open relationships. Joining us now is Kate Lori LMFT, a sex positive, licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non monogamous, kink, lgdbq and sex worker communities. They are the author of Open Deeply, a guide to building conscious, compassionate, open relationships. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I love your podcast. Well, we're so excited to chat with you because this book is in many ways very groundbreaking. Now, there are many books, of course, on open relationships,

What are the most common issues in therapy today? Should new couples go to therapy? How do you know if you’re a good fit or if you’re forcing it? How do you invest in the relationship without overanalyzing it? April Grigsby joins us to weigh in with insights from her practice. She is a licensed clinical social worker based in New York City and is focused on empathic listening and building up her clients’ strengths so they can solve problems. She empowers individuals to manage anxiety, depression, life transitions, and identity challenges. She also works with couples to improve relationship dynamics. April attained her BS from Yale University and her MSW from Columbia University. April is currently a candidate in the NYU Silver School of Social Work DSW program. You can learn more about her work, research, and practice here. And don’t forget, we have a sale on Mindful Sex: Deeper Connection, Intimacy & Pleasure. Save 25% off with code DRJESS. Click here to learn more about this online course, which includes videos & audio guides that walk you through cognitive, behavioural, and practical exercises for more mindful sex.  Click here to save 25% off Mindful Sex! If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Couples’ Therapy: Issues, Trends & Advice Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I'm excited for today's topic because we're going to be talking about couples issues in therapy, talk a little bit about couples and how we interact online. We'll be discussing Privacy, empathy, Fidelity, and I'm sure a whole lot more with a really brilliant, brilliant therapist, Aprilgriggsby. And before we get started, I want to talk about something that I'm promoting because I'm running a sale on my mindful sex course, which I cocreated with my friend and fellow sexologist and sex therapist, Dr. Reese Malone. We are offering 25% off of mindful sex, deeper connection, intimacy and pleasure. And this is video, audio and online course in cognitive, physical, behavioral, and really just practical exercises to be more in the moment, to slow down, to enjoy sex in new and more pleasurable ways. So if you have trouble getting in the mood, if you lose focus during sex, if you feel pressure to perform in any way, or if you just want to experience something kind of new and exciting, more deep sensations and more pleasure across the entire body, this course is for you. It really can help with everything from premature ejaculation to full body orgasms. And mindful sex is@happiercouples.

Board - certified urologist; Dr. Joshua Gonzalez joins us to answer your sexual health questions. What can I do about ED? Are there natural treatment options for someone on blood pressure meds? How can I deal with Interstitial Cystitis? What can I do about vaginal atrophy, itchiness, and irritation? Should I be worried that one testicle pulls up into my body at orgasm? Can I speed up my orgasm? I have delayed ejaculation. What can I do to improve the taste of my ejaculate? Our guest, Dr. Josh Gonzalez is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine and specializes in the management of sexual dysfunctions. He completed his medical education at Columbia University and his urological residency at the Mount Sinai Medical Center. Throughout his career, Dr. Gonzalez has focused on advocating for sexual health and by; providing improved healthcare to the LGBTQ+ community. You can follow Dr. Gonzalez on his social media accounts from his Twitter to his Instagram. He also; recently started a men's health supplement focusing on enhancing ejaculatory volume and taste, POPSTAR - check it out! And we have a new promo for you! Save when shopping at Womanizer.com with code DRJESS. Here are my quick picks: For travel: Womanizer Liberty If you’re looking for a deal: Womanizer Starlet (on sale) For blended orgasms: Womanizer Duo For the best in class: Womanizer Premium 2 Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com and use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your skills (and add a few more to your repertoire). Become a better lover and have a few laughs with Dr. Jess while learning some new moves. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexual Health Qs Answered: Erections, Orgasms, Hormones & More! Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess feeling extra lovely because I'm thinking about penises and vaginas and balls and all of your sexual health questions. We are going to be answering them today with sexual medicine urologist doctor Josh Gonzalez. We're going to find out where your balls go when you orgasm. If you've been wondering, that's a great question. You know what? You should have led with that. Where do your balls go when you orgasm? Well, we're going to find out because Dr. Josh is here. And before we invite him on, I just want to announce that I've got a new sponsor that I'm really excited about because this is a sponsor that I've worked with in other capacities. But now we've got an even better discount code for you because these premium toys don't generally go on the deep sales. But womanizer.com is offering 15% off with code. Dr. Jess, Dr. J-E-S-S. They keep it simple. And if you don't know about Womanizer, they are a sex toy brand that revolutionized the sex toy space. There was nothing like it on the market when they broke into it. And actually, it comes from Germany. They are based in Berlin. I was just there doing some work with them. What were you there for? Thanks, Charles. I was there for a female rap camp. So it was a bunch of female rappers with Warner Music creating music over the course of this week. It was so cool. The Soho House in Berlin,

Take your pleasure to the next level by exploring the emotions that intensify the experience. Your elevated erotic feelings (EEFs), can heighten physical pleasure, psychological thrill, emotional fulfillment, intimate connection, spiritual experience, and much more. In most cases, no physical technique or position can compare to exploring the emotional dimensions of pleasure, so this week, we dive deeper into the emotional-erotic connection. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Intensify Sex: Elevated Erotic Feelings Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use Tonight welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, we are talking feelings today. How are you feeling? Feeling good. What does that mean in your body? How does good feeling up in your body? Good. Feels relaxed. Good. Feels a little excited about maybe what the future holds for the world. For you today. I hope for everything. Oh, God. World's on fire. We all need that hope. Yeah. So that's how I feel. How do you feel? I'm a little antsy today. I've got an evening flight. I prefer to fly in the morning and just, like, get it done, go where I'm going unpack. So I always feel a little antsy because I don't feel like I can get quite as much work done when my flights in the evening. But we're going to be talking more about feelings and specifically your elevated, erratic feelings today. Before we dive into that, a big thank you to Adam and Eve.com for continuing to sponsor and support this podcast. Be sure to use Code Doctor Jess to save 50% off almost any item, plus free goodies, free shipping. All that jazz on everything from good vibes to lingerie to latex to butt plugs and everything in between. And there is a whole lot in between a butt plug and lingerie. So Adam and Eve.com code Doctor Jess. All right, last week we talked about your core erotic feeling, which is the feeling you need to get in the mood for sex. It is indispensable to sex. For most of us, we have some sort of emotional needs or need. We need met. It doesn't mean that every time you feel your chorotic feeling that you automatically want sex, but it makes sex possible. And now we move on to the fun stuff, your elevated erotic feelings. And those are the feelings that take sex to the next level. They're the feelings that make sex more intense in a specific way. So it could be related to physical pleasure. It could be about psychological thrill. It could be about emotional fulfillment. It could be about intimate connection. It could be a spiritual experience or any other benefit that you personally associ...

How do you need to feel in order to get in the mood for sex? Relaxed? Loved? Safe? Desired? Your core erotic feeling (CEF) is the feeling you require in order to get in the mood for sex, and it can revolutionize the way you approach pleasure, seduction, and sex. If you or a partner; have trouble getting in the mood, or if you find that erotic touch often isn’t enough - this episode will help youbetter understand the emotional-erotic connection, so you can have all the hot sex you desire. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney.com. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. This comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Emotional Seduction: The Core Erotic Feeling Emotional Seduction: The Core Erotic Feeling Intro: [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Brandon: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess: Hey, hey, I'm excited for the topic today. Amazing. We are talking the erotic emotional connection. We're going to be talking about your core erotic feeling. And to me, this is the most interesting, meaningful, impactful piece around sex because I've said this before and I'll say it again, every human experience is emotional. Every experience, every interaction, every transaction, every conversation, everything intimate, anything that involves a human being is an emotional experience, right? It's, and, and we, we [00:01:00] see this in business all the time where if you make someone feel important, if you make someone feel valued, if you make someone feel as though they're a part of something, right? That buzzword of community. Everybody's always, you know, all the brands are talking about creating a community in order to sell you things. When you make people feel something that they want to feel, they want more of you. So that could be super simple, like going into a restaurant and being treated like you belong there, right? Being treated like a regular, being told welcome back, um, being prioritized in some way. It makes you want more and more of that. Similarly, when brands effectively create communities online. where, you know, you feel like you're a part of a social movement, or you feel as though you found people who understand you, then you keep coming back for more. And so we get this in business, we get this in marketing, we get it in relationships as well. Of course in relationships we're always talking about feelings, but I think so often it gets left out of the bedroom, out of sex, right? We talk about like, how to touch somebody, the words to say to them, [00:02:00] how to But what underpins almost all of that?

What is the appeal of sissification? How do you introduce kinky play to a partner? What are the 7 types of sissification? How can consensual humiliation become erotic? Sexologist & psychotherapist Carlos Cavazos (pronounced Kuh-Voss-oh's) joins us to share his experience and perspective on kinks, fetishes, gender-bending, and much more! Check out Carlos’ The Naughtylicious Sex Podcast, and learn more about his practice at Counseling By Carlos. And don't forget to give Carlos a follow on his Twitter account! If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sissification, Fetishes & Chastity Play Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We are here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, are you ready to talk fetishes? I am. Do you know anything about specification? I absolutely do not. Or chastity kinks. I could infer as to what chastity kinks might be, but I'd love to learn from somebody who knows a whole lot more than I do. We're going to be doing just that. We're going to be talking about even understanding our kinks. Like, why are we into what we're into? I'm hoping we're going to delve into kink and fetish play as potential avenues for healing, for working through restrictive trauma, that relates to sex, that relates to eroticism, that relates to our identity, especially to our gender, especially when we think about things like specification. And we're going to be talking with a fabulous personality in just a moment. Before we get to them, a big thank you to Adam and Eve.com for their continued support of this program. Code Doctor Jess at Adam and Eve.com gets you 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping. And I think they're throwing in something like ten free gifts. Some of them are little gifts. Yeah. That they wrap up and some videos, all that jazz. Adam and Eve.com code, Dr. Jazz. All right. Are you ready to get into it? Let's do it. All right. Joining us now is sexologist Psychotherapist, host of the Naughtylicious Sex podcast, Carlos Cavassos. Thank you so much for being here. Oh, thanks for having me back. Now, last I saw you, we were in Austin. That feels like a gazillion years ago. Yeah. Your YouTube channel, as Carlos has taken off. I saw you hit the million Mark just the other day. Yeah, it was doing really good. It was doing so well. And then it was recently removed. And then it was recently removed for sexually gratifying content. Yeah, exactly. Which is so crazy to think that when I met you here in Austin, the channel had just kind of started,

How often should you get tested? What are the risks of oral sex? What are the risks of giving oral when you have a cold sore? How can you reduce the risk of STI transmission? What do STI tests entail? Can you get any STIs from a toilet seat or bed sheets? How soon should you get tested after potential exposure? Dr. Ina Park, author of Strange Bedfellows, Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs joins us to answer all of our questions about making sex safer and de-stigmatizing STIs. You can follow Ina on Instagram to learn more! Thank you to our sponsors AdamAndEve.com. Please let them know you heard about them here by using code DRJESS to save 50% + get a bunch of FREE gifts + free shipping. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS to save! We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your oral sex skills and enjoy a few laughs with (the always funny) Dr. Jess. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Safer Sex & STIs: What You Need To Know Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. So I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Today's show is brought to you by Adam and Eve.com. They offer everything from Dillos to vibes to butt plugs to lingerie. All the saucy stuff you can imagine. To spice up your bedroom, Adam and Eve.com use code doctorjesd Rjess to save 50% off almost any single item. Plus free shipping and some free goodies. What do you want, Babe? I know you get. You get stuff in the mail every day. You don't get it. What, do we not have any dogs looking around? I don't even know what we need for me. Sure. Another cock ring? Another one? Okay. Why not? Ready for sure. You have enough. You know what? Maybe I'll wear it on my hand. Put it on a couple of fingers. Actually, there is a maker in Toronto that makes these beautiful leather straps or leather cuffs, but they also double as you can put your hands. Please don't tell me it's a penis ring. No, they're harnesses because I was like, that would go on my wrist. Well, you have a very big wrist. Oh, my. What? I could put this somewhere else. No, they're harnesses, so they have like a built in harness so you can put your strap on. Okay, very cool stuff. Actually, today we are going to be talking about STIs, safer sex herpes when to test how to have safer oral sex. What testing entails. And we have solicited the help, the insights of the ultimate STI expert to help us facilitate this conversation. Dr. Ina park is a physician and professor in the Department of Family and Community Medicine at UCSF. She's the medical director of the California Prevention Training Center and a medical consultant for the Division of STD Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, also the author of Strange Bedfellows Adventures in Science History and Surprising Secrets of STDs. You just came back from promoting your book in London. Was it great to be across the pond again? It was incredible.

How can I use my breath to explore multiple orgasms? Are there different types of multiple orgasms? How many orgasms can you have in one session? How do I have full-body orgasms? We explore these questions and more while sharing techniques and strategies for more pleasure (and more orgasms) — from the “cup and pulse” technique to the blended orgasm, you’re sure to find something new to try whether your partnered or solo. Be sure to check out Dr. Jess' Mind Blowing Oral: Clit Edition if you're looking to perfect your moves or add a number of new moves to your repertoire. Use code PODCAST to save 25% when checking out. Thank you to our sponsors AdamAndEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any item + get FREE gifts & shipping. And if you’re shopping for Womanizer and We-Vibe toys, also use code DRJESS to save at checkout. And if you’re interested in checking out the adults-only Desire Cruises, you can learn more here. As always, we love to hear from you, so submit your podcast questions and insights here. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! And check out the computer-generated (unedited) transcript below: Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Have Multiple Orgasms: Part II (For Clitorises) Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Bran, Brandonware here with my lovely other half, Doctor Jess. Hey, are you ready to talk multiples sure I am. Multiple orgasms. Multiple O's last time, not too long ago. Just a few weeks ago, we were talking about multiple orgasms for you, Brandon. Where? Just for me, that is it for you and all of your bread and penises. And I'd like to know how that was for everyone. Yeah, some people did write in. Some people actually wrote in about dry orgasms and shared their experiences of also feeling like you did, which was confused. Sorry, I'm just laughing because, yes, that often is the case. I'm confused. I remember the first time you were like, did I just come did I come inside of you? I've had that happen a couple of times where I don't know if I can, if I finished. So you orgasm, but you didn't ejaculate, and that was creating this super confusion. Yes. Cloud of confusion. Well, today we're going to be talking about multiple orgasms for people who have vulvas or clipportruses. Multiple orgasms. The better kind part, too. Before we dive into that, I want to say thank you to our sponsors, Adam and Eve.com. Still extending that offer of 50% off almost any single item, plus free shipping and a whole bunch of goody gifts for you with code, Dr. Jess. So if you are shopping for vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, lube, lingerie, latex wear, fetishware, sex furniture, anything that can help you to get your rocks off, I do need to furnish another apartment. So perhaps we just do sex furniture. Okay, that's it. Is that going to go into your staging budget? It will for folks who don't know Brandon's in real estate, so sometimes he has to stage properties. Actually, you did have a property once, and we won't talk about the owner. But you had a property that was super kinky. Yeah. Big time. That was years ago. Yeah, it was a massive, well, massive for Toronto. For Toronto, small for Texas, 5000 square foot loft, hard loft, exposed brick and beam. And basically it was a dungeon. It had all of the different benches and devices for tying up. And there were a number of torture devices because the person had purchased an old Museum of some sort. Yeah,

Luna Matatas & Marla Renee Stewart join us to offer a sneak peek into their Kinky Tapas retreat. They answer all of our questions including: How do I begin to explore my dominant side? What’s the difference between Dominance & submission versus Topping and Bottoming? How do I ensure safety when exploring psychological kink? How do I introduce a bit of kink into our existing sexual routine? When can pain be pleasurable? How can I explore genital worship and torture? Check out the Kinky Tapas seminar in Oakland, California April 29th - May 1st. (Use code KINKMEUP to save!) Hosted in two beautiful dungeons, the event includes catering & kinky photography and explorations of a range of topics including: Luna & Marla will take you to two dungeons in California where they’ll cover: Confidence and erotic creativity Scene Setting, Safety & Communication Commanding a Room Developing confidence and presence Dominant Do’s and Don’ts Submissive Communication Skills Rope Bondage Spanking & Other Impact Play Choking & Breath Play Sensation Play Genital Worship & Torture Strap-On Play Butt Play Fluid Fetishes Skills for Subs Common Fetishes Any additional fetishes that you’d like to know about! If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit video courses at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect and learn new skills all while laughing along with Dr. Jess and her hilarious jokes. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! And check out the computer-generated (unedited) transcript below: Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Kinky Tapas: Psychological Kink, Dominance & More Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Denwear here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. How are you? I'm pretty good. I'm excited to talk kink with you. Amazing. I'm always excited, Doc kink. Do you consider yourself kinky? I do not. Okay. But do you practice kink? I think we practice, yes. I don't think that we're very kinky in comparison to maybe the people and the professionals that were around. Right. And so even though we maybe do the things that are kinky, it's not a part of our identity. Yes. Like it's something we do, but not something that we feel we are. Is that maybe and I don't know that the people that were around, maybe they do feel like it's a part of who they are, their identity. But I'm comparing it to the people that we've talked to where their kinks that they've played into or out. Sorry, have been like, I'm going to get strapped into a dental chair and play out all sorts of and have my teeth pretend to be removed and all of that. And I'm like, wow, I am not kinky at all, if that's your barometer of what's kinky. Right. And you've seen people suspended from the ceiling by their skin at Kinky Dungeons,

Do you struggle with rejection? How does your response vary from the boardroom to the bedroom? Do layers of your identity affect how you deal with rejection? We surveyed our community regarding their experiences of rejection, and we shared their insights in this week’s episode. We think it’s a great one! Thank you to those who sent messages. We appreciate you. Check out the 12 insights on managing rejection below, as well as the full transcript (scroll down). If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit Edition sale. This comprehensive video course was designed to help you perfect and deepen your skill set, all while laughing along to the hilarious jokes of Dr. Jess. If you’re looking for an episode on sexual initiation techniques, click here. Check out the 12 insights on managing rejection below, as well as the full transcript (scroll down). 12 (+ 1 bonus) Insights on Rejection from Our Community (Some of these have been edited for clarity/brevity.) Why can women say no to sex, but when a guy says no, it’s crazy? For me, it’s all about connection. When I get rejected over and over again, it brings up feelings of unlovability, unworthiness, being unimportant, etc. I’m working through some of that, but I also think it’s normal; in a monogamous sexual relationship. Taking care of myself doesn’t provide an emotional connection, and it can even hinder connection when it’s all I’m left with. Rejection is just God’s Protection (it’s supposed to rhyme).Yes. Can we re-frame rejection to be something that safeguards us against things that aren’t good for us? Didn’t get that job because you didn’t click with the hiring team, maybe, you wouldn’t have liked working with them anyway? You approached someone to make a new connection, and they were aloof, maybe that’s not the energy you need in your life? Don’t take it as a negative. Don’t take it personally. People have many different preferences. It’s not about you. Accept rejection. Don’t let it turn into dejection. For me, it’s about not personalizing it. My GF isn’t in the mood? Cool. It has nothing to do with me. And honestly, I don’t feel like it’s my job to get her in the mood. Sometimes I will, but if she knows what she has to do to get herself in the mood too. She likes sex as much as I do. I know that for sure. So if she is working too much, or going out too much and feeling tired or not doing the things that facilitate her mood, it’s not about me. But this only applies since we started talking about sex. 10 years ago, I know she said no because the sex wasn’t so good for her. Now that I know what she likes. Now that we’ve both learned to be better lovers, we don’t personalize things as much. So I guess it begins with making sure the sex is good and learning to be an open, caring, attentive lover. And then you don’t personalize it when they say no. Everything changed for me when I finally talked to my wife about the all one-sided initiation. I was in your workshop in _______. You said that we need to share initiation because when one person does all the sexual initiation, they’re the only one who has to deal with sexual rejection. The other is often avoidant. So when my wife and I finally had that conversation, and we both agreed that we should both initiate, I learned that sometimes I’m not in the mood when she’s in the mood. And she learned; what it feels like when I say no. The first part — my finally saying no to her because I wasn’t finding myself in the mood made me realize that I’...

What should you do when a love interest pulls back out of nowhere? Perhaps you’re hitting it off and then all of a sudden things change — texts messages become sparser, response times are longer or they simply wait for you to initiate. They’re still engaged and don’t seem to want to end things, but you’re left feeling confused and rejected. Jess & Brandon weigh in with their thoughts and scripts to help you respond and they also talk about their experiences with rejection. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit video courses at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect and learn new skills all while laughing along with Dr. Jess and her hilarious jokes. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Rejection: What To Do When Someone Pulls Away Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my liver. Lovely. Other half, Dr. Jess. Hello. I'm glad you've stopped making those ASMR sounds. Now I can do it again for everyone. It's really creepy. Your tongue ASMR well. You're supposed to listen, not look. Oh, yeah, true. I like the sound. There you go. It's the look of your tongue coming out of your mouth. I don't like it's not the point. Well, tonight we're having a quickie. That's the way I like it. I know. Cool brag. Cool brag, bro. We're going to be talking about dating and what to do when someone pulls away. So not when they ghost you, but when they kind of back out out of nowhere. So I did this interview, and people had sent in this hodgepodge of questions. Hodgepodge, you're 90 mortgage bargain of questions about what to do when a love interest pulls back out of nowhere. So they said, for example, you're hitting it off, and then all of a sudden, things change. Text messages are sparse. They used to text every day. They don't initiate contact like they used to, but they still respond to you, or they're answering with, like, one word, whereas they used to call and send essays, or they're saying that they're busy all of a sudden and don't have as much time, but then they come back and they're messaging you. So basically, they're not communicating that they want to end things, but they're sort of dragging you along so you feel rejected but also confused. Okay. It's a lot, right? One word answers. Okay. You know when somebody texts you back. Okay. I hate when I write, like, a whole bunch of messages, and then I just get closer and then I give you a thumbs up. Although I kind of like when I do that to other people, especially, like, work things. Double tap. Yeah, exactly.

Can you recognize the signs of human trafficking? Would you know what to do to support someone who is being victimized by a trafficker? February 22 is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, so this week we’re discussing prevalence, signs, and what you can do if you or someone you know is at risk. Call the Canadian Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-833-900-1010. Or chat online at www.canadianhumantraffickinghotline.ca And don’t forget to go back and listen to Episode 147: How to Help Someone in an Abusive Relationship Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit video courses at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect and learn new skills all while laughing along with Dr. Jess and her hilarious jokes. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Healthy Relationships & Human Trafficking Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Getting lovelier by the day because I just had a birthday. You did? So you're extra lovely today. Yeah. That's how I'm going to frame it. Yeah. February is a big day for me. And Brandon was February 12, but I missed it. I was away. That's okay. I mean, I cried a little bit, but then I was okay. You got over it. I got over it. You got over it. So moving through February very quickly and February 22, just a few days ago, was the International Data End Human Trafficking. And if you're on my IG, you know, I've been working with the Canadian Center to End Human Trafficking to just raise awareness because really I have a lot to learn. And I was reading through some of their recent research. And I have to say the findings don't surprise me because I fall into the vast majority around 77%, who don't know how to recognize the signs, especially the more subtle ones. And I don't think I would know how to respond if someone I saw, if I was concerned about someone, especially if it was someone I didn't know. And I've been learning as we go. So we're going to be talking about human trafficking and sex trafficking today, including what it is, how to recognize the signs, and how we can all be a part of the solution. And just before we get started, I want to be really clear that we're not confusing trafficking with sex work because somebody brought that up on IG. And I know there are some folks who conflate the two, but I think, you know from listening to this podcast that we know that sex work is real work. We have sex workers on our show sharing their perspective on all things.

Want to boost connection & appreciation in a matter of minutes? In this episode, we work our way through this short activity, One Thing I Love About You. You can try it with a partner or anyone else you love. It’s simple and you can power through it in a few minutes if you keep things short and sweet. Use these prompts to get started: One thing I love about your body… One thing I love about your voice… One thing I love about your energy/aura… One thing I love about your touch… One thing I love about your personality… One thing I love about your character… One thing I love about how you interact with others… One thing I love about how you treat me… One thing I love about your… This exercise is excerpted from The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay: Techniques & Strategies for Mind-Blowing Pleasure by Jessica O’Reilly & Marla Renee Stewart. This book is full of advice and activities designed to help you better understand and communicate sexual needs, desires, and values. Order your copy here. AdamandEve.com isextending their offer of 50% off almost any item + FREE Rush Shipping. Be sure to use code DRJESS50 to save! If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney, Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer. andWomanizer. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save! We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. This comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Updated - Quick Connection Exercise for Couples Intro: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess: I'm just here celebrating man. I'm celebrating you. It's your birthday. It was yesterday. Kind of a big deal. Yeah, such a big deal that I was out of town for work and just flew in this morning. That's all good. Made you come pick me up. Not made you, but you came to the airport at 6 a. m. I've been up since I guess the equivalent of 2 a. m. here and we're feeling good. I'm, I'm actually feeling fine. I've got the adrenaline rush because I just have started another speaking tour. I'm finally feeling like I'm getting back to work. Pretty excited. We are going to do a quickie podcast on that note. Yes. Because we have, I have another flight to catch. Yeah, which is great. A farther flight off to an exciting place for other work [00:01:00] prospects. So, and Brandon's joining me. Mm hmm, looking forward to it. In Barcelona. Barcelona. You have a friend in Spain. Brandon has a, the equivalent of, I guess it's the modern day pen pal. Yes, I have a pen pal. I do. But they, what do you, explain what you do, because I think it's really cool. I Brandon: went onto a website where you can communicate with other people who are trying to learn your language. So I've been trying to learn Spanish for years, and I'm off and on and off and on, and I think speaking the language is a great way to learn it. So I went on and posted a message, and Jose, who lives in Spain replied, and we're now great friends.

Phone sex can be smokin’ hot — for auditory lovers, long-distance play partners, and anyone who wants to spice things up with dirty talk and fantasy exploration. Jess and Brandon share their thoughts and tips for the hottest phone sex, along with a few lines you can use to get started if you’re feeling shy or awkward. Are you looking for body butter, hand cream, massage candles, and/or oils (Body/ Massage/ Bath) - check out our wonderful podcast sponsor this week, High On Love. And for those who'd like to take a listen to our previous episode on Dirty Talk, you can check out "Master Dirty Talk: 60+ Tips & Examples" here. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit Edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your skills and learn a lot more, all while laughing along to the hilarious jokes of Dr. Jess. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Hottest Phone Sex Tips Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my loved the other half, Doctor Jess. Am I so lovely? Because we were just not talking about lovely stuff. No, we weren't talking about lovely stuff. But you're lovely. Brandon made us espresso with a little drop of Baylies. We're actually working in the evening, which we don't usually do. We usually record super early in the morning, but it's evening, so it's a decaf espresso with a drop of Bayleys. Maybe you should say that. It's a shot of Baileys with a drop of decaf espresso. Oh, is that what it is? I don't know. Anyhow. You drink yours before you even sat down? I did. And I said, do you even save her it? I do not. Do you just swallow it like hotcom? I do not savor it. Yes, I swallow it like hot cup. And then I asked you if you've tasted your own cup. Yes, I have. And did not warn you that we were going to be discussing. No, I didn't know. We weren't talking about that. So, yes, let's go down that rabbit hole. But did you taste it when it was hot or did you want to get cold first? Well, I read the warning on the side. It said, Get caution hot. No, it came in a cup. I think it's important to taste yourself. Yeah, I did it by accident. But how? I shot it up in the air. You shot it up in the air and your mouth was open. Yes, that's it. That sounds like I landed on his Dick by accident. Well, anyhow, I'm glad we were talking about that off air. I thought we should also talk about how we should start a podcast today. Yeah, because it's good to taste yourself. I don't know. I wonder if for women, there's less shame around it. I have no problem saying that I've tasted it. I remember I mentioned this before on the podcast. There was a guy when I was a teenager playing hockey, and that was what he did on the bus when we were going to a hockey game.

Want to explore dry orgasms, multiple orgasms, edging, and more? We’ve got specific strategies and techniques you can experiment with tonight — all in the name of multiplying pleasure. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit Edition sale. This comprehensive video course was designed to help you perfect and deepen your skill set, all while laughing along to the hilarious jokes of Dr. Jess. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to have multiple Orgasms - Part 1 - DrJess Episode 251 Brandon: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess: Hey, hey, we are talking about multiple orgasms today. We, we were going to talk about the Build A Bear, you know, the, the like bear shop in the mall where you take your kids and build a bear. I read a headline that apparently they get, they're getting into the adult space, but then I went and checked out their adult bears and they're not all that exciting at all. Brandon: They're not that racy. Come on, like. Dr. Jess: It's wine o'clock. Brandon: If there was a Build A Bear with a butt plug or something, I'd be, I would say yes, you're getting, you're definitely getting into the adult business. Dr. Jess: But that's like 2023 things. Yeah. Brandon: Yeah. This is Build A Bear, it's wine o'clock, yeah, great. Dr. Jess: Those things are expensive too, I think, if you go in and actually build a bear. I think it's a, it's a costly thing. Anyhow, I don't know if we have any in Canada, but I've definitely seen them, seen them in the States with big lineups too. Canada has Build A Polar Bear. [00:01:00] Okay, let's switch gears and talk about multiple orgasms because last week we talked about how do I intensify orgasms and I think there's a little bit of overlap here but of course multiple orgasms can be super hot because they can prolong the orgasmic experience and what's interesting is that people of all genders All genitals are capable of having more than one orgasm in a single session, but also, before we get into this, I want to say you don't have to. All right. One and done can be just as good. I'd say, okay, sometimes I have multiples. I'm just thinking about my own experience here, but I'm more of a, a one and done, or there's the one that's like most satisfying. And for me personally, multiples doesn't necessarily make that last one more intense. Like that's not the way it goes for me. And so I wanted to [00:02:00] ask you babe about multiples because you've had multiple orgasms by accident. Brandon: I have, I didn't know what was happening. The truth is I thought I was finished. Like I thought I had orgasms. And that's what we're talking about. I know, but I thought I had to, I had to take a minute and just. Realize that I hadn't finished. Dr. Jess: Okay, so you're saying you thought you had orgasm, but also you had an orgasm So do you mean ejaculate? Yes.

You don’t have to intensify your orgasms, but if you want to explore techniques to do so, we’ve got you covered. We share easy strategies you can try tonight! We also discuss the Foot Locker ejaculator incident and sex in public parks. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibratebringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney.com— use code DRJESS15 to save when checking out. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! We've extended the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your skills and learn a lot more, all while laughing along to the hilarious jokes of Dr. Jess. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Have Bigger, Better Orgasms Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and Relationship advice you can use Tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my always lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, I have a question for you. Do you love sneakers? I do love sneakers. Do you make love to sneakers? I do not make love to sneakers. But you had to pause to think about it. I did have to think about that. Okay. Where is this going? We've got a story about sneakers and your home town of Brampton that we're going to be talking about. Brampton. That's right. The Btown. Okay, let's get started. I'm very curious. Okay. So we have a couple of stories we're going to cover before we get into one of our listener questions, which was short and sweet, how I like it. They want to know how to have better orgasms and we're going to talk about better orgasms. But there are a couple of stories in the news, one about sneakers and one about sex in public parks that I'm here to talk about. So there was a city park sting in Cincinnati that was cracking down on sex in public parks. At twelve, people have been charged. I was reading about the story and it seems that the police want to crack down on it. And the Mayor is saying, yeah, okay, fine, we can prosecute these things, but can we please focus on violent crime? And it makes me think about who gets targeted oftentimes. Gay men have historically been targeted for cruising or sex in public spaces. And it's a reminder that oftentimes people have sex in public spaces because they don't have a safe private space to go to. And then also I thought the story was interesting because separate from people who don't have a space to go, I think so many of us are drawn to having sex in public and having sex in the great outdoors with that nice kind of warm breeze on your bike. We've had sex in a park. We have had sex in a park. And I do enjoy a warm wisp of air on my buttock. Well, I don't know if Cincinnati is that warm this time of year. It might be like a cold cracksnap or something. A little chilly tickling the nads, something like that. But we had sex in a park. I remember. I imagine we've done it more than once. But the time that comes to mind was a gazillion years ago and we were in a park kind of in the forest, and we found kind of a private place totally off the trail. But then when we walked back onto the trail, a runner ran by. And then I knew him. He was like a kid that he wasn't a kid anymore.

Today’s quickie answers a few viewer questions about why ghost-facing is all the rage and how to spice things up when mobility is limited. Just a reminder, our wonderful sponsor Adam and Eve is offering 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + some FREE goodies if you use code DRJESS. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Ghost-facing Q&A You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Sex and relationship advice you can Use Tonight. Welcome to Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm Jessa, rally your friendly neighborhood sex here, not with my lovely other half, Brendanware, because he had to run. We are back in Toronto, back at our regular work schedules, and a client needed something at last minute that he had to attend to. So I'm on my lonesome and I can't even remember the last time I did a podcast all by myself. So I'm going to try and power through. I want to let you know in advance that this is a quickie episode because there's so much on the go right now. Today I am shooting two episodes of my still newish television show on City TV Fridays at midnight, intimately. You with Dr. Jess, and I'm going to be interviewing actually some really cool guests. Matchmaker Maria, if you don't know, matchmaker Maria. She got some really good advice. She's pretty funny, very blunt, straight to the point. You can check her out on IG. So she's going to be on the show. And Java debate. The millennial sex expert is going to be on that show. Anyhow, I'm running into studio today and it's one of those days. And I know that the last thing I'm going to get to do is eat. And so that is why I'm going to do a quickie episode because I'm going to prioritize my eating over you. Oh, it's so weird to laugh by yourself on the mic, but I enjoy myself. Anyhow, the plan today is to answer a couple of really simple one really interesting question, actually, that I have received from you. So I'm going to start right there with the first one, which I think is quite fascinating. It's around Ghostbased. And so you've probably seen with the new scream horror movie out that people are doing Tik Toks with the ghost face. They're doing sexy things with the ghost face. People on Webcams are wearing the ghost face and it has become this sex symbol. And somebody is. I actually got two requests about Ghostface this week. One person just wanted me to kind of explain why it's a sex symbol and make sense of that. And the other person is, I think, from how I understand it, because it's a long message is looking for validation in terms of enjoying Ghost Face and not just the scream Ghostface, but all types of Ghostface masks and all that jazz. And of course, you know that I'm going to say this is perfectly fine and normal in terms of the reason why Ghost Face has become a sex symbol. There are so many, I think, beginning with the fact that the anonymity of the cloak and the mask leaves so much to the imagination. And that can be very arousing. Right. You don't know what lurks below the surface and the unknown creates this anticipation, which is associated with of course spikes and dopamine. And you want to find out what's below there. Right. The mystery alone can kind of be very enticing and intoxicating. And all types of masks create intrigue and spark curiosity.

How much time should you spend together? What constitutes quality time? How do you talk about your need for alone time, and time apart? How do you divide your time when you’re busy and there never seems to be enough time? In this episode, Jess and Brandon share their personal responses to the questions in the “Talking About Time Discussion” — questions and reflection prompts for better time management in relationships. You can utilize it with a partner or any other loved one and use these prompt to get started: How much time do you like to spend alone and why? How much time do you want to spend with friends? Why is it important to you to spend time with friends? How much time do you want to spend with your family? Why is time with your family important to you? Are you happy with the time we do spend together - would you like more or less? Would you like to spend our time together differently? What benefits do you attach to spending time apart? What do you see as the greatest impediment to spending quality time together? How can we address this? What change can we make this week to improve the quality of the time together? How did your family spend time together growing up? What might you change if you could do it again? What is your definition of “quality time”? Do you have any experiences; with quality time, lack of time, or time apart from other relationships that might help me understand how you feel about how we allocate time together and apart? Are you interested in spicing up your love life? Whether you're having solo sex or group orgies, We-Vibe and Womanizer have an extensive array of toys to intensify your orgasms and increase your pleasure! Use code DRJESS to save when checking out. Special thanks to our sponsor Adam and Eve. Use code DRJESS to get 50% off almost any item + get FREE shipping + some Free goodies If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, it's 2022. It is. We're hanging in surviving. How are your New Year's resolutions going? Last week, we talked about different resolutions for couples. And you talked a little bit about your plans for the year. What's on your mind? Yeah, my resolutions are going reasonably well. Ask me again next week. Well, you're working out. That was sort of one of your resolutions. Yeah. Just to maintain physical activity every single day and to also read a little bit more. So I've definitely checked both those boxes so far. What are you reading? You really want to know? I've been reading up more on NFTs and decentralized finance in the basement with my hoodie on and the lights off. No, it's actually really interesting stuff. There's really interesting stuff happening in that field. I know that it's still on the margins in some ways. I know that it's a specific group that's involved in it primarily. Okay. What have you learned any, like, Pearls of system? I still don't know. I've been reading up for about ten months on it, and I'd like to give a shout out to a couple of good friends of ours who kind of introduced us to it so that,

Want more pleasure and passion? How about more mindful connections and a boost in self-esteem? We don’t have all the answers, but we’re sharing a few resolutions and intentions for the new year — for happier relationships all around. "Why Do I Love You Again Exercise" Questions from "The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay", co-authored with Marla Renee Stewart. Tell the story of when we first met? What was the first thing you noticed about me? What songs remind you of our early time together? What first attracted you to me? How have I changed for the better and grown since our early days? What stood out about our first date? Describe our first kiss. What do you remember about our first sleepover Or the first time we had sex? What is an awkward moment that I wouldn't want to re-live but we're able to laugh about now? What was the most memorable or hottest sex we've ever had? And what made it so memorable? Our amazing sponsor Ioba Toys is offering 40% off this month with my discount code DRJESS! You can use my code on the OhMyG and OhMyC toys! The OhMyG is a G-Spot massager while the OhMyC is a clitoral massager that's silent and fits in the palm of your hand. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Recently, Jess joined Jeff and Carolyn on The Morning Show to discuss Relationship Resolutions. Check out the video below.  Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Relationship Resolutions for 2022 You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon, and we are here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess. How are you? I'm good. Happy New Year. I know you and I are already happy each other up, but to all the folks out there, to you, I hope the first couple of days have been treating you well. I like a rebirth. You know? I like a rebirth. Yeah, I like a rebirth. I don't like the visual that I get of thinking of a rebirth stop, because that's literally what I was just thinking when I said rebirth. I thought about a giant man sized human coming out of a body with, like, mucus all over them. Welcome to 2022. We're really messed up. No, but did you think of that for rebirth? Yeah, of course I thought about that. I think some people would think about religious rebirth born again. But for some reason, I think about the literal, I guess, visual not you thinking about or us thinking about a human full sized human jumping out. Do you not remember there was an old Saturday Night Live skit where she has a full sized human baby and she's so annoying. I wish I knew the name of the actor, but let's maybe take it back enough. Let's take it back to normal. It's the New Year, and we are going to talk New Year's resolutions. Amazing. Let's do it. Yeah. And this is going to be a quickie one, folks, because we are on a light work week. This was supposed to be like a holiday week, but it didn't end up happening, but that's okay. We're just going to keep it a quickie and talk about New Year's resolutions. Not everybody wants resolutions, but it doesn't matter when you're listening to this. I think any time you can set ideas or goals or strategies for yourself, it's totally worth it. Before we dive into my seven ideas, I want to say thank you,

This week, we share (and try out!) a simple 3-step exercise to reflect upon 2021 and plan for a happy 2022. Coach Sonia Zarbatany also joins us to talk about our new coaching program and share her tips for better dating and happy marriage. Thank you to our sponsors Adam and Eve. You can get 50% off almost any item + get FREE shipping + some Free goodies too if you use code DRJESS Make the most of your relationships in 2022 with our 30-day program! There is no better investment than an investment in connection. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Year-End Reflection Questions for Fulfilling Relationships You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess. Happy New Year's Eve. Happy New Year. Yes. Will we make it? Stay awake until midnight tonight? Oh, I don't know, man. I'm up early. You're up early? No, I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it. I'm going to enjoy this evening. I have this silly superstition that whatever I'm doing at midnight sets the tone for the year, which, by the way, lying in bed with you fast asleep wouldn't be a bad thing because I'd like better sleep in 2022, I would be relaxed. Exactly. Yeah. So we'll either be toasting with a bit of champagne and some nice fresh air, or we'll be fast asleep. Can I just say that I would like very much for next year at this point to be raging somewhere. I want to be partying. Yeah, I want to light my pants on fire. You know what? I know that desire has some sort of party going on in Brazil, 20, 22, 23. So let's just hope, sadly, I don't think the world is going to be that far ahead that we're going to want to be partying in Brazil, but hopefully something just a little bit more exciting overall, things can be looking up, and we want them to be looking up, certainly in your relationships, which is something we're going to be talking about today. I think folks know if you follow me and if you listen to the podcast, I have a new program starting in five days, six days. And Sonya, my partner in the program, is going to be joining us to chat a little bit about dating and coaching and the program, and also just her general insight and advice on how to make relationships work. So before Sonya joins us, I wanted to get to one of your questions because this one is about vibrators. So this person says they want to incorporate vibrators into their sex lives. They're really great help for having an orgasm, but they find that their orgasms with vibrators don't always feel good. The ramp up is amazing and feels great, but just at the point when it feels like the orgasm is going to start happening, the sensation suddenly becomes overwhelming and kind of unpleasant if they keep the vibrator right there. So they said they've tried quickly turning down the vibrator intensity right at the point of orgasm. But this can feel jarring and sort of interrupt the sensations. And then if they completely take the stimulation away at orgasm, it doesn't feel good either. And the orgasm sort of just stops. So it sounds like a ruined orgasm, which feels frustrating. So any thoughts on why the vibrations become so overwhelmingly intense at the point of org...

We’re doing it again! There is almost nothing better than sharing how you feel about your partner, and this “dating profile” gift is a simple, powerful gift that keeps on giving. Jess’ cousin Annabella & her cousin-in-law Denise (Anna’s mom) join us to share this homemade, no-cost, gift: a thoughtful and simple dating profile written for a loved one. Jess also shares one she wrote for her Mom, and Brandon and Jess share one another’s. We encourage you to try this one yourself and let us know how it goes! Huge shout out to our sponsor, AdamAndEve.com — Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE VIP rush processing with code DRJESS50! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Best Gift Ever! Its Free & Last-Minute Friendly You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight! Hey! Hey! Happy Holidays. Hope they are going well. Hope you're hanging in. Hope they're fairly harmonious and joyful and healthy and delicious if you... If you love to eat and are celebrating. It's so weird to think that the holidays are already upon us. Because I think back to December 2020 and I think about where I was and what we were doing. And whom we were with. If feels like. It feels like five years ago honestly, but at the same time it feels like this year has kinda flashed by in the blink of an eye. I know everyone is talking about this concept of time both zooming and standing still. And you know when I think about the holidays, I I feel that. I feel that so much. And our plan was to produce a new episode on The Best Gift Ever. So this gift that I just... I think is so incredible for all relationships. And so I went back and listened to last year's version with my cousin-in-law Denise and my cousin Anna. And has I was listening and I was just like Oh I wanna listen again. Love hearing them. Uh. I love the experience for myself and so I decided we're just we're gonna run it again. Because, honestly I just love it and I feel good about it. And I... you know I don't always feel good about every piece of content I produce. But I feel pretty good about this one. So, without further ado. Here she is. The Best Gift Ever 2020 version. You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the ex. Doctor just podcast. I'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half doctor jess this is pretty much the the last one of the year. I guess we have on next week. But i don't know christmas for me. Always feels like the end of year. I would agree. i mean. there's a wrap up vibe. That's going on right now. Yeah but a weird year where we almost don't even know what's coming right. People are asking for meetings for january. And i'm like january. That feels so long ago. But i guess it's here again now it's the end of the year and there is no better time to check in with your health so our partner. Let's get checked. Lets you do all of your health testing from home from hormones to thyroid to. Sgi's to cholesterol. Iron lime disease test from home send it in and get secure results online go to. Let's get checked dot com and please use code dr jess to save and to let them know you heard about their services here now babe last year around this time we did an exercise bas...

How do you know if opening up is right for you? How do you tell your partner that you’re interested in ethical/consensual non-monogamy? What’s the difference between swinging and polyamory? What if you want a different ENM arrangement than your partner (e.g. they want to swing and you want to explore polyamory) Sex Goddess & Erotic Educator Taylor Sparks joins us to share her experience and advice. She is the founder of Organic Loven, the largest BIPOC owned online organic intimacy shop & works to improve sex lives around the world. You can check out her YouTube channel and follow Taylor on her Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. We're also excited to announce a new program for 2022: 30 Days to Master Your Relationship! 4 Group coaching sessions Week 1: Relational Values & Blueprint Week 2: Emotional & Relational Communication Week 3: Bedroom Mastery Week 4: Re(Ignite) The Spark + Ladies Night Event in Montreal If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Ethical Non-Monogamy & Open Relationships You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess's podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess, how are you doing? I'm really good. Why is that? I don't know. I like the Christmas tree in my house. I'm just really liking the way my house looks this week. I will say that the Christmas tree smells great. It smells so good. And I was reading this is not a purposeful segue, but I was reading that more couples are now putting their Christmas trees in their bedrooms. Really? Yeah. Because it gives it does surprise me. It's the glow and the smell and all the health benefits of feeling like you're in a forest. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm serious. I feel like you're in a forest. I think it just has to do with it. All of our houses are getting so much smaller and there's nowhere to put, like, the Christmas tree takes up like a third of our living room. Yes, it does. It's blocking the whole patio door. It's a great third, though. It looks really good. It does look really good. Yeah. So I'm in a good mood and we're going to be talking to my friend Taylor Sparks from Organic Lovin in just a moment. Yes, I'm looking forward to it. It should be a good chat. Absolutely. I think we're going to talk about she sent me so many topics, but we're going to talk about non monogamy and get some perspective and personal experience on that. And before Taylor joins us, I wanted to chat to folks for a moment about a new course I have coming up. It is a group coaching course for 30 days. It's a four week program to master your relationships in 30 days. And so this is for the New Year. I'm really hoping folks will either sign up as singles or as couples and jumpstart the new year focusing on relationships because so many of our resolutions really center on. I think the body and habits. And I think it's actually really cool. I love the New Year. I love the idea of a reset. It's the same reason I love Mondays. Really? You love Mondays? For that reason, you feel like it's a reset. Yeah. I'm just like, okay. This week is going to be the week I start working out. Or this week is going to be the week that I get a better night's sleep.

We’re answering your questions this week including: Can you please talk about fart fetishes? Should I be worried that my new boyfriend finds pleasure in pain? Can you share some embarrassing ways people masturbate? How do I clean my vagina? We're also excited to announce a new program for 2022: 30 Days to Master Your Relationship! 4 Group coaching sessions Week 1: Relational Values & Blueprint Week 2: Emotional & Relational Communication Week 3: Bedroom Mastery Week 4: Re(Ignite) The Spark + Ladies Night Event in Montreal Use code* DRJESS25 to save 25% off on even the higher-end toys on TSC's Intimately You website. Code is still valid for another week! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Fetishes, Pleasure In Pain & Masturbation You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Air here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess. How's it going? I'm good. We're on an early early morning this morning for the podcast. Has the caffeine kicked in? Oh, well, I didn't sleep much last night and I'm actually having a caffeinated coffee, which, for me, is rare, which means everybody better hold on. This unfiltered version of jets. No, I literally just drink it. It's going to be people in an hour who have to deal with me. Okay, where I'm like, let's do this. We can build an airplane. I can improve upon airplane. That's my dream. I have some exciting stuff to announce today, starting with a contest that we're running over on Instagram. I don't know if you know about it. It's called Mask and Masturbate. Do I know about Instagram? Yes. Instagram is a social media platform where you can post your photos and it's worth billions of dollars. It's actually part of the Metaverse. Don't mess around. I'm venturing down the rabbit hole. Okay. All right. So I'm running a contest called Mask and Masturbate in partnership with Consonant and Consonant on Instagram is Consonant Life. They were started locally, I believe. Here in Canada. They are a queer owned brand. My mom has been shopping at Concentrate for a while, which I have to say is the greatest testament to their products. Because my mom,

This week we discuss therapy and emotional expression with the mental health practitioner and author of Man, Just Express Yourself, James Harris. He shares advice for those who are resistant to therapy, as well as tips for opening up and getting your loved ones to do the same. You can order your copy of "Man, Just Express Yourself" and the Cheesy Date Board Game. You can find James' book and board game on his website. And follow his Instagram and YouTube channels to stay up to date with James. Holidays are coming up, and TSC's Intimately You has holiday prices going on. And you can get an additional 25% off with my code* DRJESS25 - Toys from Lelo, We-Vibe, Romp, and so much more. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/James-Harris-Promo.mp4 *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Emotional Expression: How To Open Up Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hello. Hey, how are you doing? I'm good. How are you feeling today? I feel good. Is there something you want to add to that? Well, we're going to be talking about emotional expression and specifically men expressing themselves emotionally interesting. But all people. Yeah. I mean, I think talking about men expressing themselves is interesting because growing up, I didn't express myself very much. And even now, I don't know that I express myself the way that I should with other men in my life. Do you feel like you express yourself to me? I think I do. And then I have these moments where I think I should tell you what I'm feeling. And maybe I'm just feeling super emotional. I had a moment the other day when I was just wanting to come up and tell you how much I care about you and how much I love you and what you mean to me and how much you do for me. And you know what? I didn't do it. I'm telling you that I thought about it then. So you're listening now. But in the moment, I didn't think about that. Now I have so many opportunities to tell you that, whereas with because I'm always because you always. But with the friends, the men in my life, the male presence in my life.

Want to give a hotter hand job? Check out our quick tips, and then join us as we switch gears and have a candid discussion with a Hotwife couple, John & Tiffany. They talk about their story -- from high school sweethearts to the parents of two teens — to a very happy couple in the Hotwife lifestyle. They share how they got started and explain why they find Hotwifing so fulfilling — and why you might too! To stay up to date with Tiffany and John's hotwife lifestyle and with them. You can follow their Instagram. If this podcast has you intrigued and considering spicing up your sex life, be sure to check out We-Vibe and their extensive list of products. Use promo code DRJESS to save! You can check the courses mentioned in the podcast on the Happier Couples website. Mind Blowing Oral: Penis Edition and Mind Blowing Oral: Clit Edition . If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/Tiffany-promo.mp4 Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Hand Job Tips & One Hotwife's Story 0:05 You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 0:14 Welcome to the SexWithDrJess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. I'm here with my always lovely other half Doctor Jess. Hi. How are you feeling? 0:24 I have a piece of frozen meat on my forehead. 0:26 Yeah, it's the door your head they met today. 0:30 I just went to turn off the dryer so that there wouldn't be noise in the background and coming. 0:37 Welcome to our home studio. 0:39 I pulled my I pulled the door right into my head and smacked it and then saw stars. That's awesome, but we're unscheduled. We got to do 0:46 to get it done. Yeah, you gotta you gotta meet up on the head there. And 0:50 it's, it's frozen for you. What do you call it when it's a ceiling range? Free Range. It's vacuum sealed, sealed. It's vacuum sealed corned beef on my head that my mom bought me that we're having for dinner. No, it's not for dinner. I don't know if we're gonna be able to eat it after my heart had melted. Anyhow. Welcome. Oh, I'm out of breath from that. Today we are talking about hot wifing Yes, and hot wifing and handjobs. Yes. And earlier today I was shooting with TSC in Canada doing little clips of I don't know how many sex toys like 40 different sex toys for the tsc.ca/intimately you where you can shop 1:30 where you can shop online for phallic devices 1:34 and other sexual wellness products. So they carry everything as you know, folks, I have a show with city TV up here in Canada NTSC and I have a private discount code that isn't on the website. It's Dr. Just 25 So if you are shopping for anything in terms of we vibe, womanizer LELO blast dildos, those beautiful glass dildos high on love, shots, America and a whole bunch of other really cool brands, please, please do your shopping in Canada at tsp.ca/intimately. You and use code Dr. Jess 25. To save I'm trying to think what the most interesting toy I got to play with was today, I think it was the glass butt plug. It's the cristalino plug are really, really pretty thing 2:13 you promoted those when the show that I was on. And they really I'm not just saying that because I was on the show. They were really nice and does that that code applies to everything, right?

What does it mean to be non-binary? How about gender fluid? And queer? Why does language matter? How can we reconnect with our bodies? How can we liberate ourselves from gender roles in the name of more pleasure? How can we effectively communicate our needs to partners? Non-Binary Gender & Sex Therapist-Turned Coach, Rae McDaniel joins us to answer these questions and more. Be sure to follow Rae's Instagram and Facebook accounts. As well, check out the Gender Fck for more information. And take advantage of holiday pricing and discount code* DRJESS25 at TSC.ca where you can shop for: High On Love The Minis Pleasure Collection Romp Toys We-Vibe Moxie Chrystalino Glass Dildo If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/Rae-McDaniel-Promo.mp4 *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Finding Pleasure in Liberation: Gender, Body Image & Communication 0:05 You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 0:15 Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half Dr. Jess. 0:22 Hey, today we are talking about gender. So we're going to go over some terminology talk about gender roles and how they affect pleasure and sex and relationships. And so a lot of pressure right around gender, I would think kind of growing up you had expectations as a boy what you're supposed to do what you're not supposed to do, even as a man, you're an adult man now, right, 0:41 right. Yeah, I've been told I'm physiologically an adult man. Yeah, you're still a boy. 0:46 Okay, but so much pressure. I didn't I mean, certainly for women. I just feel like the pressure kind of comes from all angles. And it you know, it happens in the bedroom, in the living room, in the boardroom, all across the board. And so we're going to be talking with Ray McDaniel, who's going to just help us to unpack some of the the messaging and maybe make some small changes for happier lives and better sex and before we welcome ray to the conversation, I want to give a big shout out to TS see and intimately you so intimately you is the show that I host in partnership with TSC it airs on Citytv Fridays at midnight in Canada and if yo...

What is pegging, and how do you get started? How do you choose the right harness and strap-on? What are the best positions for pegging? Why do you lose your erection during butt play? What are the best toys for all types of orgasms? What is the difference between a fetish and a kink? Luna Matatas joins us to answer these questions and much more as she walks us through sex across Canada — from Charlottetown, PEI to Lions Bay, BC. Check out our recommendations below, as well as Lovehoney’s Sex Map of Canada: Best quiet toy (oral simulator): Womanizer Premium Best quiet toy (newcomer): Ioba OMG Best Clone-A-Willy: Lovehoney Best Stroker: Lovehoney Blowmotion Real Feel — Save 25% this month with code* DRJESS25 Best Advanced Penis Toy: ArcWave Ion Follow Luna on her Twitter and Instagram accounts. As well, check out her website and her podcast, The Plug. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/Luna-Matatas-IG-video.mp4 *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Pegging, Fetishes & Sex Toys 0:05 You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex of Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. We're here with my always lovely other half to Dr. Jess. Hello. How are you? 0:23 I'm amazing. I'm kind of like I'm on top of the world because my work is getting back to normal. I got to host a couple's retreat last weekend over in the UK. And that felt so damn good. I mean, you were there. You know, you weren't at the retreat. But you were at the bar after with me. 0:39 Yeah, and you were definitely in great spirits. And I got to walk around London, which was amazing. Because London is an amazing city. 0:46 It really is a cool city. All the Marvel they took from all over the world made it a beautiful beautiful place a story for another day. But yeah, I'm feeling really good. It feels just I'm sure everybody's having kind of small victories as we slowly very very slowly inch our way back to some normalcy depending on where where folks are living. And yeah, I guess we probably get these glimmers of hope or excitement and then I'm sure there are of course setbacks as well. But I'm also off to Boston tomorrow, or Harvard sex week. 1:18

Harper The Fox joins Jess & Brandon to share her story — 2 weeks postpartum. She talks about her work in camming, cartoon cam models, working on OnlyFans and Chaturbate while pregnant & the importance of supporting mental health for sex workers. Check out Jewelry.sex if you'd like to support Harper and, even better, support Pineapple Support. All 2021 profits will be donated to help provide free and low-cost mental health support to any and all active sex workers with the therapists at Pineapple Support. And to stay up to date with Harper, follow her Twitter, and learn more about when her new book, "The Grateful Winter" (working title), comes out, get notified from HarperTheFox Books. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Camming, Mental Health & Motherhood 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight in welcome to the sex with dr podcast. I'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess. Hey how are you feeling feeling all right. Pretty good getting back into the groove of things. Yeah and today. We're actually going to be chatting with harper. The fox awesome name. Es and you weren't here. The last time harper was on the program but harper is a performer and digital entrepreneur and her unedited sex tapes feature her having real loving sex with her partner of a boat. I think ten years. Now 'cause i think it was around seven years the last time we talked. And i definitely recommend you go back and listen to the old episode with harper. Because in our last conversation she shared like just kind of really unique sites into camping into porn. She's also a poet. I think she talked about how to use toilet. Paper rolls sex dolls. There was a lot of a lot of conversation there. So she's she's coming back to update us on her work post pregnancy because she just had a baby like two weeks ago. I'm very intrigued on multiple levels here. I'm still going back to thinking about the sex dolls toilet paper rolls. So i will need to revisit dot podcast so Before harper joins us. I wanted to talk about a topic. That has come up in a couple of my recent interviews and then when i've posted about it i've received a lot of what would be the word passionate response from folks around going to bed angry. Well told me more. I'm not really sure where to take this charles so basically we started with this conversation around. Is there any truth to the phrase never go to sleep angry at your partner or is it a myth and so thinking about our relationship. We've definitely gone to bed angry. You try not to go to feel. We've i've tried to rectify an issue. But i still am angry when i go to. Bed doesn't happen very often but it more but i think back. We used to fight at night. Do remember that we still do fight. It just tends to happen and actually. That's something i should probably reflect on. Why do i start fights. Or why do i get into arguments late at night and don't feel like it happens as much as of late but i remember like a time where it would be an i mean i know why i. I don't know why. I think. I know why we fought at night. That's when you come together it will only time. We have privacy right downstairs in the living room. My dad's the dining room. It adds to the office.

We love hearing from you, and this week, we answer your sex and relationship questions including: How do I help my partner relax and enjoy hotter sex? Should we open our relationship up to swinging? How do I deal with my friends shaming me for making porn? Should I share my secret erotica with my wife? To learn more on the Mindful Sex Course mentioned in the podcast, check it out here. https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/Womanizer-Premium-Eco.mp4 You can save 25% off all sexual wellness products (including the high-end brands!) at TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou using *code DRJESS25 Includes whole suite of products from Womanizer including the Premium Eco and the Arcwave Ion (the penis version). The code also works on the Tightra, a device that helps you work on incontinence, bladder control, lubrication, and sexual functions. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Seduce & Make Sex More Pleasurable 00:00:05 - 00:05:16 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast. i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess willow. Hello how're you doing. Good how about you. I'm great thanks for asking Angry because today we're doing a qna. And i get to read a bunch of questions and put you on the spot as to what the answers are gonna put you on the spot. I i know you are. We've been receiving so many questions and so many emails. And i want to quickly note to folks that if you can send them the our website that's easier for me than through instagram. I tried to get to the ones on instagram. But sometimes they get lost. And i can't always get to them. So if you sent your questions and we haven't gotten to them please feel free to resend them via the website. Because i do try and get to them. And even if i can't answer them here i try and send you links and stuff like that. But i've been having trouble keeping up with instagram. And it's funny. Because i don't know where this message went but somebody wrote me a message and i can't find it. Now so this is you please resend it about how i guess. I said something about not writing a five paragraph essay.

Sex educator Justine Ang Fonte joins us to talk about porn literacy, how parents can talk to kids about pleasure, and how we can set boundaries with friends, loved ones, and partners. She shares the three things parents should consider when talking to kids about sex and online content as well advice on how to get over our discomforts talking about sex. She also walks us through some challenging scenarios and provides scripts for saying no and asking for what you want. If you need help setting a boundary, DM @_good.byes, and Justine will do her best to help you out! And be sure to follow Justine on her Instagram and Twitter accounts! And if you have any questions about sexual health, be sure to tune into Tightra’s Facebook Live on October 27th at 8 pm ET. Tightra is an at-home device to improve urinary incontinence and improve sexual functioning. Learn more here and use code* DRJESS25 to save. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! https://www.sexwithdrjess.com/wp-content/uploads/IY-S2-E1-Tightra-Social.mp4 *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Porn Literacy, Communication & Setting Boundaries With Loved Ones 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight! Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half Dr. Jess. Hello today. We are going to be talking ghosting and boundaries and porn literacy and much more with the lovely Justine Ang Fonte. Are are you good at boundaries. Not good at all boundaries really. Think you're good at boundary. I'm terrible but i think you're much better than me like i guess next to a f- student like me. If you're a see that that looks pretty good. You look like a bar is low. I've got a. I've got a low bar. I mean in some ways and with some people. I'm getting better. But i find that if i've if i've been poor at setting boundaries for awhile. It's hard for me to start them whereas in newer relationships. I can be a bit better. So we're going to have to get into. It would just dean but before she joins us. I wanna let you know about an online event. I have coming up with tight tightrope by silken so. This is on october twenty seventh so this coming wednesday at eight pm.

Dr. Sonjia, the author of the best-selling book Sex in South Beach, joins us to talk about the intersection of sexuality and medicine, how to have better sex, and the ultimate date night indulgence. Follow Dr.Sonjia on her Twitter and Instagram accounts to stay up to date. And to learn more about her practice drop by her website and listen to her podcast, Sex in South Beach. Check out our amazing sponsor Ioba Toys for their OhMyG and OhMyC toys! The OhMyG (G-Spot massager) and the OhMyC (clitoral massager) fit in the palm of your hand and are both super silent. Don't forget to use my discount code DRJESS to get 30% off. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Date Night Special & Sex In South Beach 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight the podcast. I'm your host brandon. Wear here with my always. Lovely other half. Dr jess you've been. Mia i have been in a long time. Since i've heard you say you're the i don't even know what you say you're the co host the co-pilot i i'm here back and today. We're gonna be talking about some interesting topics at the intersection of sex and medicine. What makes sex good. What makes a date night. Successful this also. I'm very interested in what makes sex good. I really miss that. Will what makes good to you. Who excitement while. That's so vague. I know you're put me on the spot. I think it kind of just depends how i'm feeling. Sometimes they want you to do new things sometimes what you do the same things. So what determines like whether sex was good or bad we've had sex in the last week and you know one time was good and one time wasn't as good. What's the difference. I'm trying to think so for me. It's just being in the right mindset being relaxed in one time there. I find the sex a whole lot more intense like i find. I can really zone in so for me. It doesn't sound sexy at all but what makes sex is just being in the right head space like being present. Yeah being present. And being into the moment because i find what undistracted i just don't enjoy sex's much will you say it doesn't sound sexy but that's a lot of what the data says right is like good lovers good. Lovers are present in the moment and not thinking about performing yet. And i think people want i mean i talk to people and i think they're hoping for a magic pill. If you do this everything will always be awesome. And just like the arch position. Please tell me. I have this Press up out right now. I have to respond. To and it's about how to do the arch position so for the arch position I guess person okay. So one person does a bridge like you know like they put their hands already. Hurt myself so i don't even know what breast gymnastic bridge not like the yoga bridge. Okay beginning this wrong so please. Don't you talking about a back bridge back. Bend liquid hanan. I do on the paddleboard. So folks you imagine you're standing straight up and you're standing with your feet on the ground and then you lean back and put your hands on the ground. Of course you can do it from lying on your back as well. It's like a backwards. You yes yes. So you're like a rainbow so is descriptive people. But the rest. Because i feel like. I've already pulled my penis points so you would get into a back...

What is a trauma trigger? How does it show up in the body? How can you recognize your triggers and communicate your needs to your partner? As the partner of someone who has experienced trauma, how can you be more supportive? Therapist Anna Baxter joins us to share their knowledge about therapy, trauma, working with couples, and more. They’ve also kindly shared this resource to help you communicate your needs to your partner. Follow Anna on their Twitter and Facebook accounts to stay up to date. Check out the Love Positive Counseling website to learn more! And don’t forget to check out Intimately You With Dr. Jess — Fridays at midnight on CityTV presented by TSC. You can save 25% off all sexual wellness products (including the high-end brands!) at TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou using *code DRJESS25 If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Trauma Triggers In Relationships 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight today. We are talking about trauma and how it affects sex and relationships and i am by gender and relationship therapist ana baxter thank you so much for being here very welcome now. You work with folks in relationships singles groups all of the above. What have you been seeing over the last little while any shifts in challenges or reasons why people are coming in. oh yeah with the pandemic. We've had so much more. Just general depression and anxieties and stuff like that And lots of relationships who are starting to realize like. Oh when i'm trapped in a house with somebody Necessarily work anymore. And i'm to try this poly-amorous thing but she didn't know how it goes. When people try us. Paul pauline marie to fix broken relationship. Yes and is is it often one person hoping to. Yeah yeah what do you do when one partner really wants to open up. Especially when they started as monogamous and the other partners not so keen. We usually start with kind of understanding that. Paul amory's a valid option. And then we kind of get into a little bit of education about neurological change of thoughts and feelings. Is that sort of thing to kind of support the partner who's not early thinking about all.

Superstar Tyomi Morgan shares her advice and insights on Authentic Tantra and how you can integrate the practice into your life for more pleasure and connection — in and out of the bedroom. To learn more about Tyomi, follow her on her Instagram and Twitter accounts. And don’t forget that TSC’s Intimately You With Dr. Jess is launching for season 2 on CityTV tonight (October 1, 2021) at midnight. Tune in for a great discussion on sex and aging with Dr. Jessica Shepherd. And if you’re shopping for sexual wellness products at TSC.ca, be sure to use DRJESS25 for a deep discount!* If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! *Promo Code DRJESS25 is valid from September 29, 2021 at 10:00pm ET – December 18, 2021 at 11:59pm ET. Promo code may be redeemed on regular purchase price, This Visit Only Price, Event Price and Blockbuster Price before S&H charges and taxes on products as identified on Intimately You with Dr Jess (tsc.ca/intimatelyyou). Promo code cannot be redeemed on our TODAY’S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer, Encore TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ offer or Exclusive For You TODAY'S SHOWSTOPPER™ Presale offer, or redeemed for cash, or used towards payment of the TSC Credit Card. Offer cannot be combined with any other offer or discount (including Rogers employee discounts). All "Last Chance Price Final Sale" and "Clearance Price Final Sale" purchases are final, no returns or exchanges. Offer subject to change without notice. To redeem your Promo Code when making a purchase online at tsc.ca, enter it into the PROMOTIONAL CODE area upon checkout. If shopping by phone call 1-888-2020-888 and quote the Promo Code to the Customer Care Representative. ©2021 Rogers Media. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Tantra with Tyomi 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey hey it is a good day for me today. I hope it's a good one for you as well. I even though i'm without brandon. Today i'm about to be joined by superstars sexologist model instructor sex educator tie you mean morgan who is just honestly so incredible. And i think you're really going to going to enjoy this conversation and we're gonna be talking about touch and taunt tra and breath and so much more and also really excited. Because i have some really good news october first so for many of you. That's today is the launch of season. Two of intimately you dr just presented by tse and it is a tv show on city tv across canada fridays at midnight and you can also watch the replay from anywhere in the world that tse dot ca slash intimately you which of course is quite the mouthful. Maybe not good kind of full. So i'll definitely put the lincoln the show notes. It's also you can always get these key links. My instagram bio. We've got all of those there if you wanna check them out anyhow with the show i'm going to be hosting weekly discussions exploring a bunch of exciting and also explicit topics related to relationships and sex and intimacy with some really incredible experts and medical professionals. And this week's episode is all about sex post menopause so we're going to be talking. Menopause menopause postmenopausal with the fabulous. Dr jessica shepherd a friend of mine so do please make sure you tune in and every week to catch new episodes on just a a broad range of themes.

Maggie (our student intern), interviews Dr. Ryan Conrad, an activist, artist, and scholar. They discuss activism within academia, issues within queer politics, radical openness, sex work, and more. Dr. Conrad shares insight on his contradicting feelings related to academia, gay marriage, and intersectional versus co-constituted identity. And of course, Dr. Conrad shares his career story and advice for those looking to work in the field of sexuality. To see more of Dr. Conrad’s work, check out http://www.faggotz.org. Thank you to our sponsor, AdamAndEve.com — use code DRJESS for 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE gifts today! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Maggie (00:00): Hi everyone, my name is Maggie, I’m a student at Concordia University in the Simone de Beauvoir institute, and I’ve been working as Dr. Jess’ intern over the summer. I initially started this mini podcast series initially to explore different jobs in the sexuality field, as a resource for people who might be interested in a career in sexuality. However, during my interviews I found that much more interesting topics came up, like sex education, “sexperts,” racial and social justice, sex and disability, activism in academia, sex and substance abuse, sex and cancer, queer and sex worker politics, prison abolition, health care, and a whole range of topics related to sex and sexuality. So in this podcast, I’ll be speaking with Dr. Ryan Conrad, who I know because he was my first professor within the sexuality program. And Dr. Conrad is really interesting because he is both an anarchist and an academic. He’ll be talking about some really important issues like queer politics, activism in academia, sex worker research, and more. Hi, Ryan, thank you for talking to me today. How are you? Dr. Ryan Conrad (01:10): Hi, Maggie, I'm doing well. Maggie (01:12): That's good to hear. So jumping right in, on your website, you describe yourself as an activist, an artist, and an academic. Can you briefly go over some of the work that you do? Dr. Ryan Conrad (01:20): Yeah, so I sort of go by all of those titles, when it's useful to be one of them, if that makes sense, in terms of making oneself legible in certain situations. So sometimes I'm an activist, sometimes an artist, sometimes a scholar or an academic, and sometimes all three at the same time. But I'm very much by any medium necessary, if that makes sense. So depending on the goal of what I'm doing, I'm more of an activist or an artist or a scholar. And so I work sort of at the intersections of sexual liberation, queer politics, sex worker politics. And I do everything from teaching in sort of more academic settings, to running workshops and stuff in more community based settings, as well as making cultural production or cultural work, whether it's film or video or performance, sometimes just visual art. So maybe what I'm trying to say is I'm a multidisciplinary, interdisciplinary kind of person, and depending on what the goal of a particular event or situation or experiences I engage in, in different forms, different practices, to sort of make things happen, so to speak. Maggie (02:26): I love that. And I think those three titles, you know, academic, artist,

Can you handle rejection? Have you practised this essential life skill? What can you learn from rejection? And how can you check your avoidance behaviours? Couples and Intimacy Therapist, Brittanni Young, joins us to share her powerful insights on rejection, expectations, avoidance, and more. Follow Brittanni on her Twitter and Instagram accounts to stay up to date with her work. To learn more about the Sex Down South Conference held in Atlanta, GA, check out their website for past guests and workshop information. And follow their Twitter and Instagram! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Manage Rejection 00:00:05 - 00:05:06 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey hey and welcome. This is jess all my lonesome. Because i am down at sex down south in atlanta. And if you're not familiar with sex down south it is the sexuality conference to attend. It's run by my friends. Marlene stewart and the lovely tm. Marie and it is a life changing conference for so many of us in terms of its capacity to build a really special community to make connections to make space to hold space to even galvanize movements and honestly so much more. I was learned so much. Not only in the sessions and keynotes but also just in the conversations in the hallways and the after hours dance parties and i just really highly recommend it for anyone who has any interest in sex. It is is really just a must attend if you're working in the field or thinking about it and i really believe it's just as meaningful if you're not and of course. It costs money to attend conferences. But they do have scholarships available for those in need. And i'm also happy to support with some additional scholarships if you're someone who has financial barriers and you do want to attend in the future so start by following along to see what sex down south is about and see what they're doing next. It is on instagram. They are s. d. s. con like sex down south conso. Sds khan and it's sex down south everywhere else. And yeah i just really wanna thank sex for bringing me back welcoming me back kind of i just feel like they very quickly welcomed me into the fold and a had a lot of my. I hear one thing i think about is my first crying in public strangers. Because i was just honestly so moved i think by the feeling of being cared for and feeling safe and even fitting in which is A little bit hard for me. So i really hope to be coming back every year. Because it's just. I don't know such a special place so do check them out. And now we're gonna talk about a topic that super important topic that they are covering at the conference today. We are talking about rejection. Would it is what it feels like some of the evolutionary holdovers how to handle it how to respond how to even lean into rejection and practice being rejected and really how to learn from it and this is such an important life skill. I'm just. I'm so glad we're talking about it because i personally. I know i have so much to learn here joining me. Now is britney young couples and intimacy therapist. Is that how you describe yourself. i'd say so. It covers the basis. All right and so. You see primarily couples. Do you also see individuals or triads or anything like that.

Feeling tense or distracted? Looking to feel more connected to your body and/or more present in the current moment? Carve out a few minutes to reset with our guided body scan from our Mindful Sex course. In under ten minutes, you should be on your way to feeling more relaxed and more open to all types of connection (and pleasure). And if you want to explore additional exercises and strategies for mindfulness with a focus on pleasure, connection, and intimacy, be sure to check out our self-paced Mindful Sex course. It includes over 20 video/audio guides and dozens of strategies and exercises to help you slow down, de-stress and savour every last moment — in and out of the bedroom. If you’ve got questions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen allow="autoplay" Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Body Scan 00:00:05 - 00:05:06 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey it's just here. And i am flying solo this week because we are doing something a little differently this because been a little bit of a stressful week and one thing i've noticed. Is that my tolerance for stress seems to be lower than usual and i've been chatting with friends who are basically saying the same thing and i i guess i don't know so much has changed. I think a lot of us are feeling like our patients is thinner than usual. And i know for me. It can be tied to anxiety for other people. It can be tied to depression or hyper vigilance. Or the unknown and other issues as well. What i'm finding is that it's hard to nail it down like i find myself snapping over the smallest little things earlier today. The the closet door wasn't opening properly. the carpet was in the way and in the moment i was so pissed like it was the end of the world at the carpet was blocking me from. I don't remember if i was open. Air closing the door and those types of experiences like being irritated with those little things. They're really new to me. I've just never felt this way kind of at any point in my life. And i don't think i ever really let little stressors get to me. And even big stressors have always felt manageable. In fact i actually think. I enjoy stress which i know. Some people can't believe but that's that's a whole other conversation about you know dopamine and thriving and disruption and i know my therapist would say it's a function of adhd. And that. i. I need things to raw me up to create dopamine and i guess my i'm talking a lot about myself here about my life has always been full of those things that are a little bit stressful but positive with my work and of course a lot of them are on hold the pandemic and then so the negative stressors they start to rally up in a nice way but they don't have the same effect right. You get a little riled up which i need but you know unlike running late for a flight or being nervous about getting on stage which can be exciting. The stuff that i'm dealing with so some families staff somehow staff These stressors obviously don't get my dopamine going us or gives me that tees of the feeling in my body but not the excitement and the anticipation. I'm used to and so bottom line is i'm just snappier than usual and kind of wish. Brennan was here to make fun of me.

Board-certified gynecologic surgeon and author of This Is How You Vagina, Dr. Nicole Williams joins us to share her knowledge and wisdom on the following questions and more. What makes discharge normal? How can you tell if something is awry? What myths hold us back from loving our vaginas? Why might your vulva be itchy? How do fibroids affect sex and pleasure? Follow Dr. Nicole on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and The Gynecology Institute of Chicago website. And don’t forget to check out our awesome video course, Mind Blowing Oral: Clitoral Edition. Use discount code PODCAST for 25% off! And if you love a penis, you can use the same code to save on the Penis Pleasure version as well. If you’ve got questions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Happy Vaginas, Fibroids & Discharge 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the second doctor. just podcast. i'm your co host brandon. Where here with my lovely other. Half dr jess hey. I'm ready to talk vaginas. Are you ready to talk vaginas. I'm ready to talk vaginas and learn about vaginas. Did you learn about vaginas. Growing up. In what i learned in school. Which which probably everyone learned that was about it. Okay what did you learn in school. Specifically about vaginas. What did you learn. I can't remember what. I just remember basic sexual anatomy so what it was what its purpose was and we definitely didn't learn about any pleasure. Okay so what did they teach. You was the purpose. Well there was babies. Which i know not in the vagina per se and then obviously other anatomical functioning. I mean if you had you know that you re thrown going p but that was a bit okay so they actually taught you that there was a separate whole to piazza. Yes i recall that. Yep because we didn't. I don't think i learned that. Like i think i kind of for longtime thought the vagina and the youth for with the same interesting. No i do remember it being separate. Because i remember you learning about the you. Re threat for penises as well okay. So let's talk names. did you have like. What did your parents call the penis. I only remember it being called the penis. I can't remember if i was a kid if it was called something else when i was a little little kid i mean maybe my pb or something like that. But i never. It was never called anything else and did your parents use the word penis freely. Like i can't picture your dad's saying penis. I definitely wouldn't say that it was used freely but when we had to address it if there was something it was what it was. Which was the penis. Okay okay. now i'm thinking about my childhood. My parents call. I guess the vagina the pongy. So pongy i. I don't know if it's from the jamaican side. It could be the chinese side. Or probably some combo of chinese jamaican it was always called the pongy And i can't for the life of me. Remember when i learned that it was actually called vagina or vulva volvo. I learned when i was in. I think university. But i did have a book called. Where do i come from. Which was this cartoon illustrated book out how babies are made so pongy was the word. I'm wondering if anybody else's parents called it the pongy like i'm saying oh maybe it was for my jamaican side. Maybe it was chinese jamaican.

Are you holding onto resentments? Is resentment holding you back from being present and full of joy? Do you have difficulty expressing how you feel or do you feel confined to specific roles? Tune into this conversation with psychotherapist Roxanne Francis as she guides us through: How resentment builds How to let go of resentment in relationships How resentment is tied to avoidance and vulnerability Techniques to move through the process of managing resentment — from both sides Ways to process emotions constructively Keep up to date with the registered social worker and psychotherapist Roxanne Francis through her website or on her Instagram and Twitter accounts. This episode is brought to you by AdamAndEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% on almost any item + get free shipping and some extra free gifts too! If you’ve got questions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Let Go Of Resentment 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. We'll come to the doctor jazz. Podcast i don't know i'm singing. You just wanted to change it up a little. Yes are you taking requests. Absolutely not but i am going to throw a karaoke party wants to do it. What i am in iraq out kariuki is the last thing to come back because of all of the screaming into the night. There is no singing. It is just screaming and spitting everywhere. I would like to hear return of the mack. I'm a throw some d's on it is what i'm gonna do okay. Fine fine today. We're not talking karaoke. We are talking resentment We're gonna talk about what it is how to let go of it. And we're about to joined by the roxanne francis an award-winning registered social worker and psychotherapist at consultant and speaker. She has been working with companies and people all over the world to achieve their mental health goals for over a decade. She is the owner of francis psychotherapy and consulting services where she provides psychotherapy to individuals in the community. She also does clinical supervision for other therapists and does a whole bunch of consultation with organisations around mental health in the workplace around diversity equity and inclusion around burnout who a lot of us are feeling that right. Now around children's mental health around parenting. She's also a media mental health expert. Which is how. I got to know her. And you'll see her on newscasts and print and online publications. Pretty much everywhere. How did she find time for this podcast so busy i know. I just forced my way in their into her. I g fox in joins us. I want to send a huge shout out to our sponsors adam and eve who have yet extended their promo for fifty percents off almost any item plus free shipping and a whole series of free surprise gifts with code dr jeff so be sure to check them out at adam and eve dot com. I was actually online shopping. And i noticed a bunch of their lingerie and hot fetish wear is on sale right now so i have my eye on something called the scandal. Full length bodysuits or brennan. You should actually go check it out. I know you're none of them in my size. Probably that would be amazing. Look great at it. I mean. I know you're not a shopper. By the talking about for me you know the last time you bought me closed remember.

This week, we flip the scripts and our intern, Maggie Lee, interviews Jess about her journey into the field of sexuality. They talk education, equity, the business of sex and Jess shares her insights for the next generation of sexuality professionals. Womanizer and We-Vibe is having a sale! Use code DRJESS to save a few extra from products such as the Starlet to the Wish. And do check out the latest book by Jess and Marla Stewart, "The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay," right here. If you’ve got questions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 1 Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. This week, we’re doing something a little different. Our lovely intern Maggie, who is studying Sexuality at Concordia University, is doing a series of interviews on working in the field of sexuality and I was her first interviewee, so we’re going to share that conversation with you. Before we dive into that, I want to shout out the Womanizer & We-Vibe sales. We-vibe has my favourite toy, The Touch on sale as well as a number of others like the Wish, and the Tango at We-Vibe.com and Womanizer also has a few products on sale including the Starlet, which is under $50 at Womanizer.com - please use code DRJESS to save a few extra $ and to let them know that you heard about them here. I told you last week about all the positive feedback I’ve been receiving regarding the Womanizer Starlet from online messages to people stopping me in the airport, so do check it out at Womanizer.com Alright, without further ado, let’s get to our interview. In this conversation, I talk about my personal journey into the sexuality field, the challenges, the rewards, how I carved my path, what I’ve learned and what I foresee for the future. Check it out. Here’s Maggie taking over the mic... Maggie: The first person I'm going to be interviewing is Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, otherwise known as Dr. Jess. She's a sexpert, a media personality, the host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, she’s an author and educator, amongst other things. So Hi, Dr. Jess, thanks for chatting with me today. How are you? Dr. Jess: Great. Thanks for having me, happy to be chatting. Maggie: Happy to have you. So because we're talking about careers, I'm going to start with, what is it that you actually do for a living? Could you please describe your professional work in the sexuality field? Dr. Jess: Absolutely. So I'm a speaker and an educator. So I work with groups, primarily adults, and primarily couples, who want to work on their relationships, want to enhance their sex lives, want to improve their communication skills, their intimacy, their connection. And my work really entails traveling to host a range of different workshops. So I'm not really seeing people one on one, it's all group work. Sometimes it's what we call a brief intervention, or I guess they're all fairly brief interventions for hours, maybe a couple of days, and we work through the group process. So that's what the bulk of my work entails. And then I support that work, and I suppose promote that work via the media side. So I host a television show. I have, of course my podcast, the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, I write for publications, and I contribute to mainstream media publications on a daily basis. Maggie: That's so interesting. Thank you for that.

This week we share our relationship check-in -- short(ish), sweet and unscripted. Most couples invest in the start-up phase of their relationships (e.g. the wedding and honeymoon) and then they set themselves on autopilot without formally discussing their feelings, desires, goals and needs — until something goes wrong. By scheduling weekly or monthly check-ins, you can reduce tension, improve understanding and nip issues in the bud before they erupt into bigger problems. Relationship check-ins do not need to follow a specific format. They can be semi-formal (e.g. a conversation with notes over brunch) or more casual (a text chain you update every afternoon). It’s up to you to decide what works for you knowing that the more you talk about your feelings, needs and concerns, the more likely you will be to meet one another’s expectations. You might start with these three simple prompts: How are you feeling right now? How are you feeling in this relationship? How can I support you at this moment in time? Or you can take a little more time to delve into some additional topics: 1. How are you feeling today? This is your opportunity to let your partner know where you’re at emotionally. This can help set the tone for the meeting, so be honest so that your partner understands how you’re feeling and responds with support. 2. How are you feeling about our relationship? This is also an important question to ask yourself. Consciously consider how you feel about the relationship so that you can make changes and requests as needed. With kids, work and other commitments, we don’t have the time to resolve every conflict, discuss every moment of discomfort or talk about every concern. 3. Is there anything on your mind that is bothering, worrying or stressing you out? Because you have your own life outside of the relationship, your partner may not know what’s going on with your work, business and friendships. 4. Is there anything you’re working on that you’d like to discuss? This question might relate to health or fitness goals, something your therapist suggested you work on or a desired mindset. 5. What is on the horizon for the next week/month? This is an opportunity to ensure you’re both on the same page. You might discuss schedules, workloads or family responsibilities. Planning ahead is essential to happy, harmonious relationships. 6. What can I do to support you? The previous questions focus on how you’re feeling, and this one allows you to shift the focus to your partner. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and be as specific as possible when making requests. 7. How are you feeling about our sex life? Most people don’t talk about sex until something is wrong, but couples who make sex talk a habit have more frequent and satisfying sex. When they run into sexual challenges (e.g., lack of desire or a decline in frequency), they’re equipped to work through the issue, as sexual communication is the norm, not an exception that becomes associated with problems. If this broad question feels too daunting, consider an alternative: What did you like about the last time we had sex? And we can't forget about our sponsors, save 50% off almost any item in the store at Adam & Eve. PLUS free shipping PLUS a bunch of little free gifts this week use code DRJESS. Or check out Womanizer and We-Vibe with code DRJESS to save a little more on their products! Pre-Register for the Couples Master Class: 50 Exercises For Successful Relationships. The course designed to increase passion, boost communication, heighten intimacy and spark eroticism within your relationship. Get 50% off this course when you pre-register! If you’ve got questions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean,

We respond to your questions about sleep orgasms, ruined orgasms, forced orgasms, vaginal taste and more. Check out our sponsor Adam & Eve. They have restarted the discount code DRJESS for 50% off almost any item in the store PLUS free shipping. And on top of that a bunch of free gifts included. Take this opportunity to save and try something new tonight! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Q&A: Ruined Orgasms, Sleep Orgasms & More 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight welcome to the sex with dr just podcast. I'm your co host. Brendan where here with my always. Lovely other dr jess he he. How's it going feeling good today. I'm excited for jonathan. Who's jonathan and. Why are we excited for them. Thanks for loving that. Charles boyle jonathon s. is the winner of our contests are review contests. So i wanna say thank you to everybody for submitting reviews and shooting us messages and a special thanks to folks who also sent feedback personally to two invalid sex with dr dot com because we do read it all and we do find it really helpful and we try and take it into account and change things for the better. Of course. we can't do every single thing because not everybody wants the same thing but really do appreciate i did get some comments about sound about sometimes the interviews being too quiet from the guest and then we're too loud and so we are always working on those things. I'm hoping that the course of the last year the quality has been significantly better in terms of sound. But you know we are recording from home right now. We have a one room in our house. Set up a studio but it's not a professional studio we call it the studio but it's it's not and we recorded from wild places like hiding in a closet to try and find not here at home but will more on the roads so really do appreciate your patience. Your feedback really open to hearing from you as well. So thank you so much in a big congratulations to jonathan ass. Jonathan has one on lobbying it up for you. We vibe touch my absolute favorite toy of all time personally and we're going to be sending it out so they've come up with a new version called the touch ex but the we vibe touched that original is still my favorite. And i have a feeling they're going to be i'm guessing discontinuing soon since they have the new version so jonathan's going to be receiving one of those touches and hopefully they love it as much as i do and we will be in touch with you jonathan to set that up again. Thank you so much to everyone who entered and please do keep sending your feedback and your questions and that's exactly what we're going to do today and that is answer some of your questions because there are so many questions coming in and honestly i'm not able to keep up with all of them on many of them come in through the website some through instagram and We're gonna talk about the first set of questions on ruined orgasms. So i have these questions on. What is a ruined orgasm. Is it the same as forced orgasm does ruined orgasm mean. You don't have an orgasm. Is it really just edging. Have you ever had a ruined orgasm. I'd love to know what a ruined orgasm is. But i have ruined my own orgasms.

What’s really average when it comes to penis size and does it really matter? How do we get over our hang ups around size so that we can all feel confident in our bodies? Should you use certain positions according to size? And are condoms really one-size-fits-all? Jess and Brandon share their perspectives and are joined by Milla Impola of ONE condoms. Milla Impola is the Director of Marketing at ONE® Condoms, a brand of premium condoms and lubricants. ONE® is passionate about sexual health education and innovation. ONE® also launched the myONE® brand of 60 condom sizes. Knowing proper condom fit is key for pleasure and confidence in your condom, myONE helps resolve issues such as condom slippage, squeezing, and erection loss due to condoms being too tight or small. All ONE Condoms are vegan, non-GMO, made from natural rubber latex, and without any harmful chemicals. Follow One Condoms Instagram and Twitter to stay up to date with all things condom. And just a reminder! Adam & Eve has restarted the discount code DRJESS for 50% off for almost any items in the store PLUS free shipping. Take this opportunity to save and try something new tonight! And highly recommend a Penis Ring, We-Vibe Pivot, to enhance the penis. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Does size matter? 00:00:05 - 00:05:07 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex just podcast. I'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my always. Lovely other half. Who's trying to trip me up today on the intro. Not no. we're gonna talk penises there you go. We've been talking erections for the last few weeks and today we're gonna talk penis size because i get so many questions about pena size and they all start with dear mom or something like that and then they tell me their size sometimes they tell me how often they masturbate. And honestly you're all just fine like really you're just fine. Whatever measurement they send however many times a day or weekday masturbate. They're gonna be just fine. That could be the whole thing. That's the ted talk. Yeah you're fine okay. So we're going to be talking today about both penis size and condoms size and we're going to be how to properly fit a condom with milan. Poll from one condoms. I think is a really important conversation. I've learned a lot from her over the years. But i wanted you here to begin with to talk about your penis. Great grace okay. When did you become aware of the size of your penis or concerned about it. Why are you laughing okay. So i'm sorry. When did i become aware of the size of my penis. Start thinking about it. Did you do you even care. Probably started paying more attention to it when i was in or like the size not paying attention to. I paid attention to it a lot. Let me tell you. But i started paying more attention to size and perhaps being impacted by this intense desire or need to have a gigantic penis when i was in middle school. So what grades. Maybe like six through eight or maybe create five. You started just hearing about it and whether you knew why you were saying it like it started just becoming a thing that you said probably more middle school i did you say which just talking about this. About how big your penis was or how just talking more about it....

Urologist, Dr. Denise Asafu-Ajei, joins us to answer your questions about erections: How can you prevent erectile dysfunction? How do you treat erectile issues? How do you know if erectile issues are psychological or physiological in nature? What can you do if you lose your erection? How do you manage anxiety to reduce negative feedback loops? Dr. Denise Asafu-Adjei is a urologist with subspecialty training in sexual dysfunction and male infertility. She completed a Fellowship in Andrology at University of California Los Angeles (UCLA). She will be joining the Urology Department at Loyola University in Chicago as the Medical Director of Male Reproductive Medicine. She completed her Urology residency at Columbia University Irving Medical Center and received her M.D. from the University of Michigan Medical School. She obtained an MPH in Health Policy and Management from the Harvard School of Public Health and a Bachelor of Science from Carnegie Mellon University. In the future, she aims to utilize clinical research and physician leadership to help healthcare systems achieve access to equitable and high quality healthcare for sexual dysfunction and male reproductive services. Follow Dr. Denise's Instagram and Twitter. Be sure to check out our sponsor, Lovehoney, as they’re having a big sale this week and you can save a little extra with code DRJESS10 If you want to enter our contest to win the awesome We-Vibe Touch, be sure to leave us a review on any of the podcast sites and then email us at info@sexwithdrjess.com so we can be sure to enter your name in the draw. We’ll choose (and notify) the winner August 2nd and announce on the podcast on August 6th. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Better Boners: Erection Facts, Fiction & Advice 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr jazz. Podcast i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my always. Lovely other half doctor jess how you doing. I'm great today. we are. we're talking boehner's love me again boehner. Sometimes i love a good. Sometimes i can live without it. Yeah we're talking directions and we're going to be answering a listener question. That is a little bit similar to last week's but from this side of the person with the penis and of course there's no one better to weigh in on erections than our guest today. Urologist dr denise software agyei the incoming director of male reproductive medicine at loyola university in chicago Her resumes too impressive. She went from carnegie mellon to the university of michigan to harvard. To columbia to ucla. And she's going to help us. Better understand erections erectile dysfunction and discuss some preventative measures since erections tend to subside with age. And of course. You don't need a raging like joke about taking it or leaving it but the reality is there are so many ways to enjoy pleasure insects without a boehner as well i agree and i. I couldn't agree more that that c. I mean there's no one better to talk about this. Dr tennessee absolutely. I mean we won't say boehner doctor because it's much much more than that. Her specialties are run. Quite deep including male fertility so really looking forward to that conversation an...

This podcast is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app for couples and singles where they're a pioneer in allowing couples to explore dating together as a pair. Feeld is for everyone from the experienced to the curious. Jess & Brandon answer listener questions related to erection loss, anxiety, libido, social norms and how to start difficult conversations. This episode is brought to you by Lovehoney. They’re having a summer sale and you can save a little extra with code DRJESS10! Here is a sampling of the questions we address: #1. My partner is able to get and retain a really bangin' erection and can reliably orgasm during any type of penile stimulation (hand jobs, oral, even just putting lube on my body and rubbing himself back and forth on me), but he quickly and consistently loses his erection during penetration. The only time he is able to maintain an erection during PIV sex is in roleplay situations where I'm pretending to be someone other than myself. Logically I know this issue isn't caused by anything I'm doing or not doing. We also have an amazing relationship and a strong emotional connection. But as this continues to happen it's starting to erode my self esteem--a nagging voice tells me that he's bored of having sex with me and doesn't want to make the effort unless I jump through hoops to make it extra exciting for him. I'm wondering what exactly is really going on here, how I can bring this up to him without making him feel like there's something wrong with him, (I don't want to make the problem worse by adding extra anxiety to him), and what we can do to help him maintain his erection during PIV sex. #2. Hi Dr.Jess, I’ve been listening to your podcast for a couple months now and I have a question dating focused: do you think leagues are a thing? Like when someone says “they’re out of their league” or “dating or marrying up” or “you’re a 5 and they’re a 10”. Although sometimes this refers to socioeconomic divides in terms of education, income rather than just physical attractiveness alone. But I wanted to know your thoughts on how you think these divides can be overcome as I hear this enough or have seen it sometimes get in the way of my friends’ relationship. #3. Firstly thank you for all you do. Your podcast is a huge source of comfort, inspiration and knowledge for me and I am excited every Friday to listen! I'm 27, my boyfriend is 26. We've been together for 7 months. He recently told me that he fantasizes about being dominated. Other than the occasional light choke or spank, I have not taken on that role before. I tend to prefer to be dominated, too, so while I'm happy to try it out, I am unsure how to begin and how to feel confident doing so. Separately, we are working on our communication in sex but I still struggle with initiating sex and talking about it for fear of rejection or being humiliated. I've been feeling like I want sex more than him but, because I don't know how to start it, I end up waiting for him to be in the mood. I end up feeling unattractive, like I'm unable to seduce my boyfriend. Even though logically I know that he sometimes might just be tired or not in the mood, and that's OK. Last week, after months of my internal agonizing, he brought up the subject and asked how I would describe my libido. He told me his was "changeable" and that sometimes he can tell I'm trying to make it happen but he just doesn't feel like it. He suggested I try telling him that I want him and that can sometimes get him in the mood, too. I now feel pressure to assert myself in a way I feel uncomfortable doing. I feel very vulnerable stating that I want sex, especially since I know that if he wanted it he would have initiated it already! I told him once that I felt the patriarchy made me less sexually assertive, because woman are taught to be passive, and he told me to stop blaming my problems on external factors. Any advice on both of these topics would be VERY much appreciated!

In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome — for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on threesomes and discuss couples’ privilege. Check out the questionnaires below and be sure to check out our sponsor Lovehoney, as they have the most innovative toys, props and lingerie. Use code DRJESS10 to save. (And if you’re curious about the Greedy Girl Thrusting G-Spot Vibe, check it out here!) Threesomes: Self-Questionnaire Why do you want to have a threesome? Where did the idea of a threesome come from? How do you feel about this source? What benefits do you expect to derive from a threesome? What are the perceived risks/costs? With whom would you like to have a threesome? Do you know if they’re open to it? How might your relationship with your threesome mates change post-threesome? What excites you most about a threesome? What motivates you? What concerns you about a threesome? Do you have any hesitations? What emotional elements of a threesome have you considered? How will you manage potentially challenging emotions should they arise? Do you feel comfortable communicating your desires and boundaries? What conditions increase your comfort level with open communication? What does your ideal threesome entail? Consider the setting, relationships, involved parties, sex acts, etc.. Threesomes: Managing Jealousy, Insecurity & Distress Am I comfortable admitting to feelings of jealousy, insecurity and distress? I tend to feel jealous/insecure/distressed when… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, it shows up in my body as…(emotional presence) When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I want to… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I can self-soothe by… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I’d like you to… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I don’t want you to… You’ll know when I feel jealous/insecure/distressed when I…Some other cues to look for include… Threesomes: Couples’ Questionnaire Whose idea was it? Do you feel any pressure? Have you (in)directly pressured your partner? Why do you/we want to have a threesome? What do you/we hope to get out of the experience? What are my/our concerns about the experience? Have we talked about jealousy, insecurity and other potentially challenging emotions we might encounter? What would it look like if it goes well? What might it look like if something goes awry? How will we communicate and respond? What do we value in a third-party? What type of person do we want to connect with? Do we want to involve a stranger, an acquaintance, a friend and/or a sex worker? Have we considered our couples’ privilege and how we can ensure that all voices are heard and respected? If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 221: How To Prep For A Threesome (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. me. Brandon (00:16): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (00:23): Hey, and it’s just the two of us here to talk threesomes. This is part 2,

Most people fantasize about threesomes, but not many people actually dive in. In part I of our Threesomes podcast, we dive into the data and get some practical advice from Justin Lehmiller who answers your questions including: How common are threesomes? What counts as a threesome? How does a threesome affect relationships for couples? Who is having threesomes? How do people find threesomes (e.g. through apps like Feeld)? What’s the appeal of threesomes? Next week, we’ll dive into how to prep for a threesome with prompts, conversations and more! Justin Lehmiller the Scientific Advisor to Feeld, and host of the Sex and Psychology Blog and Podcast. To stay up to date with The Kinsey Institute research fellow, follow his Instagram and Twitter! Feeld is the first dating app for couples and singles. They're a pioneer in allowing couples to explore dating together as a pair -- from ethical non-monogamy to alternative relationships and everything in between. Feeld is for everyone from the experienced to the curious. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 220: Threesomes: Who, What, Why & How? (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:15): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (00:22): Hey, hey. We are talking threesomes today. And it fits that today's episode is brought to you by Feeld. And Feeld is the first dating app for couples and singles, they’re a pioneer in allowing couples to kind of explore dating together as a pair. And they're open to all genders, all sexual identities, all sexual orientations, basically for anyone who's interested in either ethical non monogamy or alternative relationships structures, or simply those who are curious and looking to kind of dip their toe into the pond so do check them out. And you can download the Feeld app, it’s free, and you create a profile and once you have liked someone and they've liked you back on the app, you become connections and you're able to chat. And if you want to you can share photos and they also often offer an upgraded membership option with extra features and yeah, so do check out Feeld. They're one of the largest online communities for fun stuff like this. And it's interesting, I actually came across Feeld in my research a few years ago, when I was prepping a training for therapists on threesomes and ethical non monogamy. And they really are the perfect partner for this podcast, because we're talking about threesomes. And of course there are people on Feeld looking for threesomes. And later, we’re going to be talking with their expert Dr Justin Lehmiller, but before he joins us, I wanted to kind of dig into some of the data on threesomes. And later on, I also wanna talk if we have time about how to prepare for a three some, like in terms of communication and reflection and just topics to address before you start exploring. I don't know how much time we'll have. I might have to split it into a couple episodes, but we will get there. It's interesting because when you think about threesomes, don't you think porn has kind of made threesomes seem like the norm? Everybody’s doing them.

Sydney Rae Chin joins us to share her personal experience as a closeted queer woman who grew up Chinese-American-Catholic. She shares some really valuable advice on how to navigate emotional consent and leaves us with tools for navigating boundaries and honouring our own values. They dive deep into conversation around polyamory, monogamy, and coming out to their family answering these questions and more! Can you have monogamous relationships as a polyamorous person? Can polyamory & monogamy co-exist in a relationship? How do you cultivate emotional consent and communicate emotional boundaries? How do you come out to family — as polyamorous or queer? How do culture and gender intersect with experiences of polyamory? To stay up to date with Sydney, check out her website and follow her on Instagram. Our wonderful partner Adam & Eve has extended their promo. Use code DRJESS to get 50% off almost any item including shipping PLUS a bunch of free goodies. Take this opportunity to save and try something new tonight! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 219: Polyamory, Coming Out & Emotional Consent (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:17): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my always lovely other half, Dr Jess, who is currently squeezing my nipple. Dr. Jess (00:26): I just wanted to see if he could keep going, and he did. Brandon (00:28): I did, I threw you a curve ball by telling everybody what you were doing at the beginning. Dr. Jess (00:34): How you doing today babe? Brandon (00:36): I'm great my nipples little sore. But otherwise I'm great. Thanks for asking, how are you? Dr. Jess (00:41): I’m good. I feel like your nipples have played a prominent role in the podcast the last few weeks. Because you were talking about I don't know, pinching nipples on my instagram and people were having a good time with that. I think my family unfollowed us, but we're okay with that. And I don't know, I feel like things are going really well right now because life is getting back to normal here in Canada. They're opening up some restrictions. Or I guess they're loosening the restrictions around travel. We are fully vaccinated, you and me. I got a pinch in my vaccination. The pharmacist pinched my arm and said “I like to pinch,” then she pinched my arm and then she gave me the jab. And I'm unclear as to whether or not she liked to pinch for the sake of the vaccine or she just generally liked to pinch and took the opportunity to pinch me, but either way I'm happy because I'm vaxxed. Brandon (01:29): Got my jabs in, and it feels so good. Dr. Jess (01:34): Anyhow, lots going on, just wanted to mention that my new show on CityTV presented by TSC is still running Friday nights here in Canada at midnight on CityTV. And it's called Intimately You With Dr. Jess and we’re already, I don't know almost two thirds through the season. We're at least halfway through season one and it's going pretty cool. I think it's so much fun to get to hawk sex toys on national TV. And I've got honestly, we have the coolest guest tonight. We're joined by Shanae Adams,

Dr. Lexx is a phenomenal sex therapist, educator, and media consultant. The #CouplesClinician runs The Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy, LLC and is an Amazon best-selling author! She’s the coolest nerd you'll ever meet and she’s passionate about helping clients build, maintain, and perpetuate true intimacy with #shamefreesexed. This week, Dr. Lexx joins us to talk about adipositivity & enmeshment in relationships. She shares insights on how to recognize enmeshed dynamics and strategies for managing enmeshment. Follow Dr. Lexx's Instagram and Twitter . To learn more about the MUSICARES event Dr. Lexx will be moderating next week on the 16th, check out the information on her website at LexxSexDoc.com. Our wonderful partner Adam & Eve has extended their promo. Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE VIP rush processing at AdamAndEve.com with code DRJESS50! Take this opportunity to save and try something new tonight! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 217: Signs Of Enmeshment In Relationships (And what you can do about it) (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:17): Welcome, to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (00:24): Hey. We've been given away free vibes. So last week, we ran our first podcast contest, which is not as organized as it should have been. I learned my lesson. But we got a whole bunch of entries for these free vibrators from Romp Toys, and we've selected our winner. And I've got permission to share their name, so congratulations to Rebecca Bassett, who will be receiving in their mailbox a Romp Shine, which is one of those clitoral toys that fits around the head of the clit and uses pleasure air to create that fun suction/kissing/licking sensation. And Rebecca, you'll also be getting the Romp Jazz, which is a rabbit vibe, also by Romp. And I I love their packaging, love their branding, really cool new brands. So I guess, keep an eye on your mailbox. We have more good vibes and giveaways to come. I'm going to do the next one. On IG because it's just a little organized, a little bit easier for me to organize, so be sure to follow @sexwithdrjess on IG. And hey babe, should people follow your IG? Brandon (01:27): Ya, why not? @veritybrandonverity, come and see what I'm up to and what I'm commenting on. Dr. Jess (01:32): But it's not sex toys. Brandon (01:34): It is definitely not sex toys Dr. Jess (01:36): You can do a sex toy giveaway on yours if you want. Brandon (01:38): Sure. I'm sure that all my clients and friends would be wondering what I'm changing and doing, what I'm up to. Dr. Jess (01:45): All right so you'll give away sex toys on your channel and I'll give away a condo on mine. You donate the condo. I'll donate the sex toys. So of course if you are shopping for vibes, http://www.adamandeve.com has extended their promo for fifty percent off almost any item plus free shipping and some free goodies with code DRJESS so do checkout http://www.adamandeve.com. Well I want to dive right in because today, we’re going to be talking about enmeshment in relationships with a brilliant sex therapist.

On this week's podcast, Jess & Brandon discuss sexual compatibility and share their personal experiences while addressing these Qs: How do know know if you’re sexually compatible? What can you do if you’re not sexually compatible? What are the keys to sexual compatibility? What’s the difference between desire and identity? Should you break up if you’re not sexually compatible? How can you find middle ground if you’re not feeling compatible? Jess & Brandon weigh in on these questions and much more! Plus we’ve got a sex toy give-away from Romp Toys, so be sure to tune in! And don't forget to check out our amazing sponsor Adam & Eve. They are offering 50% off almost any item including shipping with code DRJESS. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How Much Does Sexual Compatibility Matter? (00:05): You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:18): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co-host Brandon Ware here with my always lovely other half Dr. Jess. Jess (00:25): Hey. Brandon (00:26): How are you? Jess (00:27): I’m good. It's been a bit of a heavy week. We keep having heavy weeks don't we? Brandon (00:31): Seems to be the trend. Jess (00:33): Yeah, with the news, with some stuff going on in life. And yeah, I'm actually excited to be having this conversation, because it's just you and me. And I feel like it could be an opportunity to decompress a little where nobody else interrupts. No producers, no nobody today. And we're going to be talking about sexual compatibility, which I don't think we always use the word sexual compatibility but it is a huge issue that comes up in all of the messages I receive from people. Brandon (00:59): Don’t you think the people often reach out to you with sex problems and is it always a sex problem or is it a compatibility problem? Jess (01:08): I mean a lot of it does go down to compatibility, or I see it actually more as expectations when people reach out. Cause they're you know, upset that their partner won't do something or disappointed that their not on the same page, or frustrated that they're not having sex at all. I do think a lot of it has to do with expectations and boundaries, and the fact that honestly folks wait months and years and years and years and years and years before they reach out. And you know, now that I'm so far into this field right? It feels like I just started. But it's been over a decade of doing this full-time, actually it's been longer than a decade. It gets a little frustrating. Because you do want to help people, and also I don't wanna say people are too far gone, but one conversation or a series of conversations or one workshop or one book oftentimes can't resolve this pent up resentment and frustration and shame and hurt that has built up really. It’s over a decade in some cases. So yeah I mean with compatibility, it's really interesting, because people will often reach out and say “oh Dr. Jess, I tried this, I did what you said, I bought them this, I presented them your Ted talk ‘monogamish.’ And they're just not into it, like what do I do?” And the bottom line is if they're not into it they're not into it right? You're not,

Backdoor play can be highly erotic, but it can also be uncomfortable if you don’t know how to prep and play. Surgeon and sexual health expert, Dr. Evan Goldstein, joins us to share his expertise so that you can enjoy even more pleasure — before, during and after anal sex. He answers a range of questions including: How can we make anal sex more pleasurable for first timers? What positions are best? Can anal sex stretch/damage the anus or rectum? What’s normal when it comes to poop? What is Future Method and how can it help with preparing for anal sex? What is anal training and why is it important? How can you facilitate relaxation before you start to play? What is the structure of the butt in terms of musculature and why is important to get to know your own butt? Follow Dr. Goldstein's Instagram and check out Bespoke Surgical to learn more about his practice. And a reminder, Masturbation May is almost over but our new partner femtasy.com - an all audio streaming platform is running a 99 cent special. Have a listen and let us know what you think! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Anal Play: Positions, Prep & Pleasure! (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:15): Welcome to the podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware, with my always lovely other half Dr Jess, surrounded by a table full of dongs. Jess (00:26): Why are you laughing so hard? Brandon (00:28): Because I just said that we are surrounded by a massive table full of all sorts of sex toys. Like ridiculous amounts. Jess (00:35): Dongs on dongs dongs. Yeah I've been receiving massive shipments of sex toys over the last couple of weeks because of this new show I'm hosting with TSC and CityTV in Canada. So it's a shopping channel type show. TSC doesn't stand for The Shopping Channel. It stands for Today's Shopping Choice. But that's a whole other thing, but anyhow it's like the Home Shopping Network in the States but it's here in Canada and it's a sex toy show and it's Friday nights at midnight. And it's interestingly not on TSC , its on CityTV, which is a regular national network so folks can definitely check it out. But these boxes of sex toys I've been receiving, their massive. I can fit in these boxes. So my whole office, the floor, the desk, the chairs covered in sex toys from LoveHoney from Shots America from Lelo, from Womanizer, from Romp, Arcwave, from We-Vibe, from High on Love and then some. So there's kind of I feel like Ariel, is that her name? In the little mermaid. Where I'm like, “look at this stuff, isn't it neat? I got dildos and anal plugs aplenty.” Brandon (01:48): I like that's where your mind goes, to a Disney film. Only ours is about dongs and butt plugs and lube and all sorts of sex toys. Jess (01:55): But she says, ‘how many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here, she’s got everything.” Brandon (02:05): The lyrics here really jive with what you've got going on. Jess (02:08): Right? She had who’s its and what's its galore. She even had a thingamabobs. I feel like there should be a sex toy called a thingamabob. Anyhow, I wasn't intending to plug my new show, but do check it out. CityTV Fridays at midnight.

Dr. Ali Mushtaq joins us to share his journey from a conservative upbringing to leather title holder and discusses how BDSM education can be more inclusive and justice-oriented. Some of the questions he covers includes: When and why is it important to talk about race in BDSM? How can we bring anti-oppression frameworks to kinky spaces? How do you walk to a partner about racial inequality? What is sexual racism and how does it cause harm — physically and emotionally? How do power dynamics develop in relation to erotic associations? To learn more about Dr. Ali’s work, visit GettingWolfie.com And check out our sponsor, OhMyG at IOBAToys.com and save 30% off with code DRJESS. Don't forget, for couples who are interested and would like to participate in a study with Couples and Sexual Health Lab, to check them out on Instagram for more information. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Kinky Sex, Race & Social Justice (00:00): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Jess (00:19): Hey, hey, Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist here with my always lovely other half Brandon Ware. Brandon (00:27): Got to be honest, I'm not sure what to say. Now I feel like that's my my only line. Jess (00:33) I am in a really good mood this week. Lots of good stuff going on, including a big celebration. We are celebrating twenty years together sometime this week. We don't know what day but sometime this week, we hit twenty years. Like it's just, it's such a crazy feeling every year at this time. I reflect on that week that we met that lucky for you, I hit on you because you never hit on me. And you had your mom's purple Ford Escort and we hung out the Escort and then basically moved in together the next day, but twenty years is just so mind blowing to me, 'cause I I feel like a kid. I don't know if it's because we don't have kids, but I feel like I'm still in my twenties, I don't know. Brandon (01:22) Time flies. I will say it's surprising to think that twenty years has whipped by. And what feels great for me is that I'm excited for what the next hopefully sixty years brings. But yeah, I looked at that photo that you post and I was contemplating my style selection twenty years ago. But I'm glad that you still decided to hit on me. Jess (01:48) You’re talking about the photo I posted on instagram. I was dressed as a cat, so I I had on cat ears. I think it was a halloween but it may not have been halloween. Yeah like thinking back to twenty years ago just feels so good, and it's interesting because one of the activities sometimes we do with couples, is we get them to retell the story of how they met, when they met, and what it felt like, and what they remember. And sometimes just reflecting upon the past kind of reinvigorates some of the passion chemicals that you experienced in the beginning. And I definitely feel that, like when we were in lying in bed the other night kind of just chatting about what it was like when we were younger and I I really don't feel older but I feel, I don't know, like life obviously isn't as, I don't know if I want to say chaotic as it was then. We used to stay up so late, we'd eat our dinner at the convenience store at like 3 ...

To celebrate Masturbation May we’re joined by Dr. Megan Stubbs, author of Playing without a partner, a single’s guide to sex, dating, and happiness, who weighs in on these questions and more! What are the advantages of being single? Is it okay to keep going back to my ex? What does it mean if my partner of over a year hasn’t said I love you? Is autocunnlingus possible? What is edging? Why is everyone always complaining about dating and what can we do about it? How can you talk to a new partner about sensitive topics? What can you do if you’re gassy on a date? Megan's book discusses embracing and enjoying life as a single, while steering people away from the idea of what they think a single lifestyle should look like. Follow Megan on Twitter and her Instagram. Thanks to our wonderful sponsor Adam & Eve. Offering 50% off almost any item including shipping with code DRJESS. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Solo Sex, Dating, Edging & More (00:00): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Jess (00:15): Hey, hey, Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist here, on my own without Brandon this week. But he will return for next week's episode, I promise. And I'm excited today. Because we're talking about auto cunnilingus, when to say I love you, sex with an ex, and most importantly, it is masturbation may so we will be talking about self pleasure with an old friend of mine Dr. Megan Stubbs, a sexologist and now an author who has a brand new book all about self love, and self pleasure, and navigating life on your own. It's on the shelves coming at you right about now. Before Megan joins me, I want to answer some of your super interesting questions you sent in, as well as say a big shoutout to our sponsors at AdamandEve.com. AdamandEve.com. They're offering fifty percent off almost any item plus free shipping and a host of other free gifts with code DRJESS — d. r. j. e. s. s. AdamandEve.com cells pretty much everything, from lube and massage oils to plugs and vibrators, dildos, restraints, and lingerie, and all of the fun stuff you can use to spice up the bedroom. So check them out — AdamandEve.com, and again use code Dr. Jess to save. Jess (01:46): Now I wanna start with the topic of auto cunnilingus, because the other day I got a couple of questions about auto cunnilingus from somebody who wanted to know whether or not it's possible and how to do it, and it's not something I've spent much time talking about or thinking about so I had to spend some time looking up what I could find, chatting with some clients, and basically auto cunnilingus refers to going down on yourself, so on your labia. So not on a penis, which might for some people potentially be easier to reach, still pretty unrealistic for most people, but auto cunnilingus, so going down on yourself, just in the end isn't realistic for most of us. If you are a really talented and probably professionally trained acrobat or contortionist, maybe it's doable. But in all of the spaces I've been in, where I see people doing all sorts of sexual things, like festivals and parties and gatherings, I've never seen it happen. It doesn't mean it's impossible.

This week we explore surprising hot spots on the body including the Million Dollar Mark as well as a variety of erotic touch techniques from the Liquid Trace to the Breath Kiss. We also answer a listener question about whether or not to invite an ex to your wedding. Thanks to our amazing sponsor OMG by IOBA. I love this toy! Save 30% with code DRJESS And don’t forget to tune into Intimately You with Dr. Jess on CityTV Fridays at midnight starting May 14th -- presented by TSC! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 212: Exes, Erogenous Zones & Erotic Massage (00:05): You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:16): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my always lovely other half Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (00:24): I'm not so lovely today. Brandon (00:27): I think you're lovely. And I'm not just saying that for brownie points. Dr. Jess (00:31): You're being sarcastic. Brandon (00:32): You’re hot. Dr. Jess (00:33): Oh, I’m nice to look at. That's not what I meant. I have a bad attitude. Brandon (00:37): You got the bad attitude all right. You got a bad-a-tude. Yeah you hot. Dr. Jess (00:41): It's been a day. Brandon (00:43): It has. Dr. Jess (00:44): I have to say. So I had such a wild day today, it was a bit of a rough one where I started with a live shoot, and our internet went down, and I pissed off the live audience, and a whole bunch of other things went down. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But then I had therapy, so I just talked to my therapist Carla and I feel, I don't know like nine notches calmer. Brandon (01:03): That's great. Dr. Jess (01:04): Yeah. Brandon (01:05): I went upstairs and banged my head into the wall. Dr. Jess (01:08): It sounded like you were working out. Brandon (01:10): Yeah I did. I did some calisthenics. Dr. Jess (01:13): So you did your work out. I got my therapy. Are you feeling calmer? Brandon (01:16): I always feel calmer after I am physical. Dr. Jess (01:20): I thought you were gonna say you feel calmer after I go to therapy Brandon (01:25): I always feel better when you have therapy. No, I feel, I feel better all right. Dr. Jess (01:28): You've got your outlet. I've got mine. Now we're gonna be talking about erogenous zones today. Hopefully we'll get into some erotic massage techniques, we have a question about exes. Before we dive in, I want to say thank you to OhMyG, they are our sponsor today. This is a super quiet toy by Ioba that massages the G zone internally, with this come hither kind of swirling motion. It's really, really, cool. So if you picture a dildo with a kind of c-shape shaped curve to it, so that it gets really nicely into that G zone and at the tip of it, it has sort of an elongated pearl the size of a chocolate covered almond at the inner end, and it curves and pulses at varying speeds. I like the lowest speed, like slow and sensual. But you can turn it up if you like more intensity, and it's nice and quiet. It's made of body safe silicone and you can check it out on my reels on instagram if you wanna see how it works. Or you can head over to http://www.

Dr. Shemeka Thorpe is a brilliant sex researcher, post-doctoral fellow and the founder of the Minority Sex Report. She joins us to talk about her latest research and we answer some of your burning questions including: I can't get into receiving oral sex. Is something wrong with me? What's the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? How do I get over my partner's past? How can we improve sexual communication? How do we manage pain during sex? How do I advocate for myself with health professionals? Check out Dr. Shemeka Thorpe's work (including her database of BIPOC Pelvic Floor Therapists) & follow her on Instagram where she is #MakingResearchRelevant. And be sure to check out our new partner femtasy.com -- an all audio streaming platform that will help you to uncover new fantasies, explore latent desires and put you in the mood for pleasure. Whether you like romance, kink or something wild, Femtasy has you covered and they're running a 99 cent special for Masturbation May. Have a listen and let us know what you think! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 211: Sexual Communication & Research with Dr. Shemeka (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:14): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half Dr. Jess Dr. Jess (00:21): Hey. Today we are answering a few questions from some of our college student listeners. Looking forward to those and we're going to be digging into the latest research about sexual pain and getting some advice on how to communicate our needs and improve our sex lives from Dr. Shemeka Thorpe. And I'm such a fan of her work. So yeah I'm really excited for this one. And I'm also really thrilled to announce a new partnership that we've just formed with a platform that I have been following and recommending and using personally for quite some time. They're called Femtasy. So Femtasy is an audio only streaming service with short erotic stories, and because my seduction style is audio, I love this concept right. No videos no photos, just narrated fantasies geared at women, but I think folks of all genders will actually be drawn in. It's designed to be a safe space, so the stories are ethically produced with their voice actors, they have over five hundred short stories, that for me are way more likely to get in the mood then visual depiction so. And this is great timing because we're coming up on masturbation may and they've actually dropped their prices really significantly to celebrate so full access is just ninety nine cents a month or ninety nine for the year, so if you do want to explore your fantasies or learn more about how to even figure out what your fantasies are, because so many people say they don't have fantasies. I think Femtasy is a great place to start. It's just one way to take time out for yourself and escape reality. And I've been listening to their audio for a while now and I'm actually going to see if I can play a sample in one of our upcoming episodes, because I think it will give you a taste. For in the meantime you can head over to their site and listen to some samples for free, so you can see if it's a great fit for you at htt...

Got sexual and pelvic health questions? We’ve got answers! Dr. Rachel Gelman, Doctor of Physical Therapy and pelvic floor specialist returns to answer your questions related to sex, pleasure and pelvic floor functioning including: What is bumper sex? What can I do about leaking when I laugh? How do bowel movements affect pelvic floor function and sexual response? Why is anal pleasure so much hotter after my second child? What causes painful erections and how do you treat them? How do you promote stronger erections — for penises & clitorises? How does sitting at your desk all day affect sexual functioning? Why does oral feel so good after childbirth? How can changing the way you breathe promote pelvic floor function? Learn more about Dr. Rachel Gelman at www.pelvicwellpt.com and follow her on social: IG: @pelvichealthsf twitter: @rachelgdpt FB: @pelvicwellpt And if you're shopping for goodies, be sure to use code DRJESS at AdamAndEve.com to save 50% almost any single item + free shipping + bonus gifts! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 210: Erections, Orgasms & More! Advice from a Pelvic Floor Specialist (00:02): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:10): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (00:17): Hey hey. Brandon (00:18): Hey, how’re you doing? Dr. Jess (00:20): Good good. Today we’re talking about some hot topics. We're talking stronger erections, oral sex, anal sex, and how it changes after childbirth. I don't know about that. But I want to hear about that. Leaking when you laugh. Do you leak when you laugh? Brandon (00:33): I do not leak when I laugh. Dr. Jess (00:36): Do you laugh? Brandon (00:37): I mean I'm hilarious, so I laugh all the time. Dr. Jess (00:39): You laugh at your own jokes. Brandon (00:40): I do. You know I woke up last night laughing to a dream. Dr. Jess (00:44): Do you not remember that I actually thought you were crying? So I was like, “baby it's okay” and you're like laughing. Brandon (00:50): I was laughing for real. I woke up. It was something, somebody farted in my dream. And I thought it was funny. Dr. Jess (00:54): Is that true? Brandon (00:55): Yeah that's the truth. I don't know who farted. But it was real funny. That's all it takes. That's all it takes to make me laugh. So if you ever see me chuckling, I'm probably thinking of somebody farting okay? Dr. Jess (01:05): So you don't leak when you laugh but you laugh in your sleep when someone farts? Brandon (01:09): Yes. Dr. Jess (01:10): Well that's funny because we're also going to be talking about bowel movements and constipation. We're going to be talking about bumper sex, the pussy pocket. Brandon (01:19): I'm thinking of bumper cars now. Dr. Jess (01:21): I just pictured people walking around with erections bumping each other. Brandon (01:25): I feel like that could be so painful so quickly. Dr. Jess (01:27): That's probably why it's so funny to me. Brandon (01:30): Maybe to you yeah. Dr. Jess (01:31):

How do you keep things exciting amid a repetitive routine? How can adults be more playful (because playfulness is associated with happier relationships & hotter sex)? What simple changes can you implement to make your daily interactions more fun, passionate and erotic — even if you’re super busy? You’re not a light switch, so you likely can’t get turned on in the blink of an eye. This week, to celebrate our wedding anniversary, we share 20+ specific strategies and action items you can use to make your relationship more romantic, intimate and erotic. If you’re looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at Lovehoney, We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS15 at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 341 - Eroticize Daily Interactions: 20 Actionable Tips For Busy Couples Intro: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Dr. Jess: Hey, we've got a replay of one of my favorite topics, one of my favorite episodes on eroticizing daily interactions from April 2021, so you might hear some references to a totally different time. It's a time warp. Brandon: Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I am your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, hey. How are you? Dr. Jess: I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. I'm interested in this conversation for the two of us as well. We're going to be talking about how to make your daily interactions more erotic and What are you laughing at? Brandon: I'm immediately thinking about eating a banana. Dr. Jess: Oh my gosh, because in my presentations I always talk about how [00:01:00] to eroticize daily interactions because you're not a light switch. You can't go from talking about your taxes and your work and your kids and whether or not your dog had a bowel movement on its last walk to just flipping the switch and being, oh, hi. Hey. Tear my clothes off, right? And my joke is when I say To eroticize your daily interactions. I don't mean make everything annoyingly erotic, right? I don't want to be eating a banana and have Brandon look over and be like, Oh yeah, you eat that banana. That's what I'm talking about. It's really more about playfulness and flirtation and I don't know, all these different ways to be erotic. It doesn't have to be super sexual or graphic. So we're going to be getting into that. I mean, I guess before we do, I should ask you, Do you feel like our interactions are particularly erotic? Brandon: I don't think that I'm an erotic person. I feel very self conscious whenever I'm [00:02:00] trying to do something that I think is erotic, whether I've seen it on, you know, TV, movie, somewhere, I feel like a goof doing it. So when I see people who are genuinely erotic and they just exude the sex appeal, I'm, I'm like, good on you because when I try that, I feel like I look like a goof. I don't know. Or I sound like a girl. Hey, Dr. Jess: yeah. No, but you are naturally charming. Like flirtation is sort of charming.

What are the causes of pain postpartum? How can you soothe your own pain and what exercises and massage techniques can help? What does self massage entail — both directly and indirectly? And how do you assess readiness for sex postpartum? How does a Caesarian birth affect sexual functioning? Perinatal Therapist, Janette Yee, joins us to answer these questions and more. Janette's Caesarean Birth Selfcare course is now available for sign up at any time. Previously the four lessons were taught live; now they're available pre-recorded, along with over 20 how-to videos illustrating self-massage techniques and exercises. Cost: $199 Introductory bonus: access to 6 months of weekly live online group classes with Janette every Wednesday at 1pm EST. She teaches a mini-lesson, runs a mini-workout, and answers questions. All recorded and available to all students within 24 hours. (Value: $2600) Follow Janette on Instagram & LinkedIn. Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. This podcast is sponsored by Adam & Eve. Use code DRJESS to save 50% off 1 item + bonus goodies! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex After Childbirth: Techniques & Strategies From a Perinatal Therapist 00:00:05 - 00:05:15 You're listening to the sex with dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can you off tonight? Hey, hey, this is Brandon. We're ready to talk sex and relationships with dr. Yes. How's it going? I like that voice now. I just want to shut it off just you and me. Let's just go. Let's get out of here sexy time. Yeah, not if you call it sexy time game. Well, the mood is over. So back to the show. We actually have a new retail partner for our podcast and they are offering a bunch of free stuff to our listeners as well as some deep discounts. So most folks have probably heard of Adam and Eve and they sell everything from lingerie Vibes two rings to toys to King Kong. Have and with code. Dr. Jess Jess, you get 50% off one item plus a bunch of free gifts. So they're giving you six free movies free shipping and three extra treats you can use to spice things up in bed. So please do go check out your options and use code d r j e s s office to save 50% off your one item and get your bonus goodies at Adam and Eve, It can be sexy time right now for everybody. This is why I'm still here. Well, at least I'm having a good time. You know, sometimes we in life we run behind and twenty Twenty-One has been a year for me off of just falling behind. So today we're actually going to Aaron interview that we recorded a few months ago, and we had intended to release it earlier, but you know, Bob If circumstances got in the way and we didn't get to and this was such an interesting interview for me because it's all new stuff related to postpartum Wellness bought a pleasure and overall health that relates to all of us not just people who are postpartum and our guest Jeanette. She is passionate perinatal therapist a mother of two months or more competitive Runner and rugby player and she's working really hard to improve perinatal health care and this really includes quality of life issues around sexual relationships in April is actually cesarean birth awareness month. So our delay makes for good timing. So without further Ado,

A listener shares their story and feelings after having had cheated on their long-term partner. They ask for help managing the guilt and shame and Jess & Brandon weigh in on the topic with a discussion of: Whether or not to tell your partner about an affair Why talking about cheating can be helpful in all relationships How to talk about affairs in the hypothetical to improve understanding in relationships How the language of confession can feel burdensome How to manage feelings of guilt How to forgive yourself How to work through feelings of shame How to practice self-compassion How to learn from previous regrets Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Forgive Yourself After Youve Cheated 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr jasser. Podcast co host brandon. Wear here with my always. Lovely other half dr jess. Hey hey how's it going and good today we're gonna be we're gonna be talking about something serious going to be talking about how to get over an affair. I look forward to your answers. I wanna know what you think. I think this is an important conversation for everyone in a relationship. But we're actually going to be talking about it from the perspective of the cheater Interesting how to move through the guilt and the shame so before we get to the question that somebody sent in one a shout out our sponsor. Let's get checked dot com. They offer all sorts of home wellness and health tests including s. t. is and. I was actually looking at some research out of canada this morning by going to try and get this right. The sex information and education council of canada came out with data showing that young people are reporting lower access to sexual health and reproductive health services since the onset of the pandemic make sense when you think about them perhaps not being on campus and having access to different sexual health counseling And free hall centers especially when we think about so. Many people may be living at home. And maybe they need their parents to drive them someplace. And don't wanna ask so. This is an option for folks. Let's get checked. You receive a box at kit and you take your sample by yourself. At home you mail it in and they provide your results securely online anna matter of days so folks please do check it out. Let's get checked dot com and please please use code dr jess to save and also so that they know you heard about it here. All right so. I'm going to read out the question that i received about how to get over the guilt and shame and other associated feelings of cheating because this is a tough one. I wanted to actually spend some time on it with you. So this person writes in and says i've been in a serious relationship for almost twelve years. We've been cohabitating for eleven years during our ninth year together. I had an affair after sleeping with the other person for the second time i felt tremendous guilt and i cut off all ties. Haven't told my partner. And at this point i don't think it's worth it.

Adam Maurer joins us to crush on Brandon, sass Jess (with love) and answer your sex questions including: How do I pick between partners — a safe partner versus one with whom the sex is hotter? How do I deal with the fact that I love my boyfriend, but I’m no longer find him physically appealing? How can fetishes reduce stress and cultivate connection? What can we do to maintain attraction over time? What can we do to make the relationship run more smoothly? How can individual's growth potentially threaten a relationship? How do trauma responses affect partner and relationship decisions? How do I deal with a dental visit knowing that I have a dental fetish? Follow Adam on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Fetishes as Healing & How to Build Attraction 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess. How's it going. i'm excited. What four going to be talking to my friend and we. We need to dive right in. Because i know they have a lot to say so much to say you know what we should really spent some time catching up on our frisbee skills with adam. I feel as though you and our guests are gonna gonna pick on me today. I'm very much looking for this conversation before we welcome them. I wanna give a quick shout to. Let's get checked folks if you have any health tests that are overdue or do anything. From s t is to hormones to cholesterol to diabetes to lyme disease to seal eac. It is covered by. Let's get checked. They send you the test. You take your own sample you mail it in and you check your results securely online. It's let's get checked dot com. Please use code doctor jess to save at checkout and also to let them know that you heard about it here during a pandemic can't be a better time than doing your own testing at home. You know if. I don't have to leave my house i won't. That is the absolute truth unless it's to go on a plane unless it's gonna play. I want my haircut here. My teeth cleaned here also. So let's get checked using her own code. I have have actually alright without further ado. Let's dive right in. Adam is a gender queer straight friendly therapist. From austin texas she is a defender of pleasure and a slayer of shame bitch who loves to dish out wisdom on sex love and mental health here with us. Today is the fabulous miss adam. Our how you doing. I'm so good. I was just thinking man. You having on once and shame on me for tricking you into that without you to what you're getting into and so you have all the troubles on you well. Last time you complained. That brand wasn't here. And so i was a little late to the meeting today. Actually i wasn't late. You both were early. And i walked in and you were you were chatting with one. Another unsupervised discussing the terms of our recent pro frisbee sponsorship agreements. And how amazing they are because as everybody knows just is a frisbee fiend and call it desk tonette just keeping up to...

The brilliant Luna Matatas joins us to answer your sex and pleasure questions including: How do you stimulate the prostate? What are the best anal toys for beginners? What are lactation fetishes? Does size matter? How do I get over body image issues before I go to a play party? How can I bring up fetishes to a partner? How can we normalize anal play and pegging? How can I pleasure my partner externally? Follow Luna on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube & Instagram. Be sure to listen to The Plug Podcast with Luna Matatas. Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. And drawing from this podcast, be sure to check out Womanizer's sale on their Starlet & Pro. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Fetishes, Butt Play & Does Size Matter? 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess hello brandon. Whoa hello there. I'm why did you say like. I don't know i like. I like saying your name brandon brandon. Because i don't really call you britain in real life you do not call you. Hey you know. And i respond. I call you babe. Yaeko call you babe to let's it. It's easy so we never forget each other's names we never screwed up. Oh i'm gonna mood today. I'm so excited because one of my best. Tease is about to join us in just a minute. She's the best in the business. She is funny and punny and creative and empathetic and full of the best sex ed info. We are talking about sex and pleasure educator luna matas who teaches people how to build better relationships to their bodies helps people to practice empathy with their partners in terms of insecurities needs and really encourages people to get curious about all things erotic and all of her work is trauma and equity informed. She talks about pleasure. Topics like anal play and feminine dominance and threesomes and unicorns and she hosts a podcast. Herself called the plug. And we're going to be chatting with luna about body image and pegging and normalizing anal play. And i we have a question about a small penis some fetishes and more so before luna joins us. It is great. I mean she's just fantastic confer excited to. I know i love chatting with her. And i chat with almost every day offline now. I guess it's online technically. Everything's online now. But i wanted to just draw attention to the fact that my friends at womanizer are having a sale right now. I just noticed on the starlet and pro and if you're not familiar with womanizer toys who they are among my personal favourite they are. This is a brand that is really an industry disrupter in that they patented created brand new technology a few years ago that never existed in sex toys before they hit the scene and they call it. Pleasure air so pleasure. Air technologies technology is one of the most direct paths to orgasms for so many people who have clitorises and i would describe this. Sensations as sort of a cross between pulsing inviting and sucking and kissing. And it's all around the sensitive head of the clitoris. So it's kind of a tiny little opening that fits around the head of your quit.

Dr. Shari Nicole, Psychologist and Key Consultant of Everyday Psychology, joins us to talk about the importance and challenge of adult friendships. We discuss cutoff culture, attachments styles, boosting confidence and more including answers to these common questions: How many friends do most people have? How do childhood experiences affect adult friendships? How do you know if a friendship is worth saving? How do you know that it’s time to break up with a friend? How do you go about breaking up with a friend? How do friendships affect intimate relationships? How do friendships differ according to gender? How can you be more confident in your friendships? Follow Dr. Shari on Instagram and Facebook. Be sure to check out her podcast 3 Psychs and a Mic. Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Break Up With A Friend 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess how are you. I'm good man. You know. I'm excited for today. Because i have a lot to learn about this topic we are going to be talking about friendship and it is such an important topic because friendship's just like intimate relationships can have such a significant effect on your mental health. You're physical health happiness life. Ill meant and as i started digging into the research while one thing i found is that social isolation has actually increased over the last few decades in north america. And i'm talking far prior to covid. And i was looking at the two thousand six study found that the number of friends people feel they can discuss important matters with reduce to well. There's two in there. That's pretty good. Yeah so it fell from two point nine four so almost three in one thousand nine hundred five to two point. Zero eight thousand four. I'm sorry but that's all right is does does your partner. If you're in a relationship does your partner count as a friend to the in this study. Do you know that's a great question. I'm not sure. Because i feel like i don't know that i would have two point nine or three friends with whom i would feel comfortable discussing serious matters. I think i can think of one. Maybe two depending on the topic. But if if you're not in that mix it's it's now you know you can't tell mysterious That's interesting because i start to think about my numbers. And how do i say this. I'm not sure it's particularly relevant. How many there are right. I don't know that it's that. I need eight versus four. Or you know. It's so easy to say like when i was counting. You know as i do this. I have you and there are four others in my life whom i feel. I can approach with really serious stuff. There are probably actually more than that. But there's four that i'm kind of close with and i don't wanna look at this and say oh i'm above the two point zero eight. I think really what matters is the quality of the relationship as opposed to the number of friends. But as i did dig into the research.

Thanks to medical research and breakthroughs, we now have the tools to end the HIV epidemic. Unfortunately, we’re still a long way off on account of stigma, misinformation and a lack of awareness with regard to prevention options. So it’s essential that we talk about it. Brad McElya, joins us to take a deeper dive into the topic of HIV and answers your questions including: How have approaches to HIV shifted since the 80s? Is HIV transmission possible if you have an undetectable viral load? What is PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) and how does it work to prevent transmission? Who should consider PrEP? Why is HIV still an epidemic when we have the tools to eradicate it? How do we chip away at the stigma that hinders testing, prevention and treatment? How can we normalize conversations about HIV and how can your local pharmacist help? We also discuss the new ArcWave Ion and Brandon provides a very personal and detailed review of his first time using this stroker + pleasure-air technology. You don’t want to miss it! Brad is Walgreens' Director of Specialty Health Solutions. Walgreens pharmacists receive specialized training in confidential and compassionate HIV care. Learn more at Walgreens.com/prep or visit your local Walgreens and request a consult in a private room. And you can chat online 24/7 with a pharmacist here. Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. What You Dont Know About HIV 00:00:05 - 00:05:11 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess how are you. I'm good. i'm so happy to have you back. Because i was on on my own last week and i promised everyone that brand would be back. And that i'd hand you the reins to talk about touching yourself. Well i'm glad and i was also wondering. Where was i last week when i was busy with work and i am sorry that i missed it. I love these podcasts. I love learning and listening and asking questions. I know i know well today. I'm going to be handing you the reins To talk about your with the arc wave but we're also going to be talking about the hiv epidemic and how it can be a radical added. We have the tools to eradicate it. And i was thinking about. You know when we look back to the eighties there was so much fear around hiv aids and so much misinformation. That was fueled by but also reinforcing of you know homophobia and racism and hiv. I remember when i studied social movements in school Hiv was such an important piece of you know so many social uprisings at the time and we had groups like aids action now and i remember studying it and then now it seems as though it's just kind of taken a backseat in part. Because the fear isn't as strong which is a good thing. We now know that you know an hiv diagnosis is not a death sentence which we saw it as back. Then we knew. And we know that you can live a long healthy high-quality life being hiv positive. Especially if you have access to resources like medications and we know that quality of life is really now the focus of hiv care but we also know that like all medical care.

How are trauma and liberation linked? How does trauma show up in the body? And how can you begin to heal? How does trauma play out in sex and relationships? How can you support a partner who has experienced sexual trauma? How do you talk to a new partner if you’re a survivor of sexual assault? How can therapists improve the way they support clients and what can clients ask of therapists to improve their experience in therapy? Therapist Rafaella Smith-Fiallo of Healing Exchange & Afrosexology joins us to share her perspective, expertise and advice. She explores pleasure politics, liberation psychology, social justice, and embodiment as approaches and tools for healing. Follow Rafaella on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Based on the discussion in this podcast, check out the latest events from Afrosexology here. Click here to learn more about Healing for Bibliophiles. Also, consider the You For You Retreat in October 2021, I hope to see you there! Please see here for a rough version of this transcript. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Trauma Responses in Sex & Relationships 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey i'm on my own. Today's songs brandon because he got tied up with something big at his work. Bud i am thrilled to get the chance to chat with and interview. Rafael follow of healing exchange. She is a brilliant therapist specializing in relationships sacks trauma she is also the co creator of a powerhouse in our industry. Afra- sexology doing incredible work. That is pleasure centered sex positive and really centers the sexual liberation of black folks but before raffaela joins us. I i want to quickly talk about our leaders. Partnership with walgreens because this partnership is intended to raise awareness around hiv prevention including access to prep which is pre exposure prophylaxis. It's a daily pill to prevent hiv transmission and it is over ninety nine percent effective at preventing transmission via sexual activities. So your are your local walgreens. Pharmacist can help to ensure that you access it at no cost possibly through the ready set prep program and you can just walk into a store to your walgreens and asked to talk to the pharmacist in pharmacist in private. You don't have to give any more information than that or you can learn more at walgreens dot com slash prep. That's walgreens dot com slash p. r. e. p. Now i also wanna talk about another project. I'm working on called the you for you retreat and. I'm really excited for this. I know we've all obviously pulled back from retreats and in person events and travel for the last year. But i'm optimistic that you know with the current vaccination plan hopefully will be able to travel again at the end of twenty twenty one and so i'm going to be part of a retreat at temptation. Resort in october and temptation is actually topless. Optional resort with a. It's very cool very modern and it's got a really definitely an erotic vibe at. It's actually the sister resort to desire resorts which i talk about. Autumn and this retreat is the retreat. I'm working with is specifically for women but people of all genders will be there are many people will bring their partners...

The unapologetic sexologist, Michelle Hope, joins us to chat about HIV stigma, forced sterilization, COMMUNITYx, reproductive justice and more. We also address listener questions about anal sex, positions for a tilted cervix and loss of libido. Follow Michelle on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. The COMMUNITYx App is the premier Social Network for Social Good. Built by changemakers, for changemakers, COMMUNITYx puts organizing and connecting around vital issues at the forefront, without the distractions of other social platforms. The App allows like-minded people from around the world to connect and mobilize in an effort to address some of society's most pressing social issues, allowing members to create a variety of calls-to-action all in one place. Founded in 2019, by Chloe Cheyenne, since its launch, Chloë and COMMUNITYx have earned major accolades such as being recognized by Forbes 30 Under 30 as the #1 Startup of The Year and is also a Techstars Portfolio Company. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE #201: Reproductive Justice: Power, Positions & Pleasure (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:18): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, who’s celebrating her birthday week. Dr. Jess (00:27): Yeah it’s my birthday week but you know we're on what, day twelve of our fourteen day quarantine right now? This is a condition of our travel back home, that we can't go outside or let anyone in or even meet anyone outside. Brandon (00:43): It's amazing how I miss walking in the really cold weather. Dr. Jess (00:47): I've never wanted to go out in winter so badly. Brandon (00:50): The other day I was like, I wish I could put it in the garbage. Dr. Jess (00:53): That's the exciting point. So I guess we'll be celebrating my birthday with takeout. And maybe my mom will come by and wave from the door, even though it's what, negative twelve degrees celsius out there? Brandon (01:05): I think that's without the wind chill. We talk about the wind chill and the humidity all the time. Dr. Jess (01:09): And it was your birthday last week. Brandon (01:11): It was. Dr. Jess (01:12): You turned… Brandon (01:14): forty three. Dr. Jess (01:15): I swear to god, Brandon, so I met you when you were what, twenty three? Brandon (01:19): Yes. We moved in together when I was twenty three. Dr. Jess (01:24): It kind of baffles my mind. I don't know like, it just, I can't imagine you as forty-three year old. Brandon (01:31): Why? I hope you can envision me as sixty three or even eighty three. Dr. Jess (01:34): I don't know you still look, you look young to me now. I mean everybody says that, but no really like, I don't know. I don't see a big difference between forty three year old Brandon and twenty-three-year-old Brandon when I look at you guess. Because I see you every day. Brandon (01:47): I think the changes are felt internally. It's like a few extra aches and pains, i don’t want to tell you how difficult it was to get out of bed yesterday or something like that.

This week Jess and Brandon discuss a new project with Walgreens related to PrEP, medication that reduces the sexual transmission of HIV by over 99%. They discuss Jess’ early work in sex education and answer listener questions including: How can I initiate sex with confidence? How do you flirt? What are the “apology languages”? How do you keep your cool during conflict? How can I get my partner to be more dominant in bed? To learn more about Walgreens PrEP, click here. Rough transcript of this podcast below: Brandon: Welcome! Hope everyone is well. Jess: I’m really excited because I’m swamped this week and I like the buzz. I have lots going on with V-Day on the horizon and a big announcement as well, so I’ll start with that topic, as it relates to HIV prevention and involves a new partner and I really think that raising awareness of this topic can make a big difference because While rates of HIV in the U.S. have continued to decrease, but the epidemic is far from over. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many people have faced barriers to HIV testing, prevention and treatment. Obviously sexual health and pleasure intersect with overall health and I really want to increase conversations and understanding when it comes to prevention of HIV through the use of tools like PrEP, or Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. This is why why I am excited to be working with Walgreens to encourage anyone at risk for HIV to reach out to their local Walgreens pharmacist to discuss their options. Walgreens pharmacists are specially trained to offer compassionate, confidential HIV care, including prevention options such as medication counseling and how to qualify for free programs like Ready, Set, PrEP, a nationwide effort led by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, which provides PrEP medications at no cost to those who qualify. These confidential discussions with a pharmacist can take place in private rooms in stores, by phone and online via Pharmacy Chat. To learn more, visit walgreens.com slash prep. That’s walgreens.com slash P-R-E-P.” Now most people probably don’t know that I started my career in sexuality working in HIV. My focus when I was doing research in teacher training involved three topics: healthy relationships, HIV/AIDS and sexual pleasure, because these were the topics that Toronto teens identified as their top priorities via the Toronto Teen Survey, which was a partnership research project between three universities that spoke with teens who wouldn’t normally be included in research — so newcomer teens, more queer students, and other students forced to the margins. And when or while I completed by research, I started working freelance with some AIDS service organizations as a trainer, as a speaker and I worked with the ASO up in Fort Mac Alberta to help launch a sexual health & STI counselling line in a region that was hit hard in terms of HIV and STI rates on account of the way the oil economy had affected population movement and growth. The ED of that ASO, Daven Seebaran really focused on sexuality as a part of the HIV discussion — this was over a decade ago and he really realized that you can’t talk about HIV prevention without also talking about sex — pleasure, options, activity, behaviour and not just condom use. He was young at the time and way ahead of his time. And he gave me so many opportunities in this field at a time when many people in public health still refused to talk about sex and definitely were leaving pleasure out of the equation. Back then, PrEP was in its infancy and was, in fact, still in clinical trials, but fast forward a decade plus and we’re in a very different situation now. PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, is a daily pill that can reduce the risk of sexually transmitted HIV by about 99% when used consistently. You may have heard of the brand names for PrEP. Truvada was the first drug approved for use as PrEP for both men and women by the Food &...

Kevin Patterson & Dr. Liz Powell join us to talk about their new course, Unf*ck Your Polyamory Pro — for both individuals, couples, groups and professionals. They discuss shame, stigma, stereotypes, metamours, toxic monogamy, hierarchies, compersion and lessons that we can all learn from — regardless of whether we consider ourselves monogamous, ethically non-monogamous or otherwise inclined. Follow Dr. Liz on Twitter & Instagram. Follow Kevin on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. To learn more about the We-Vibe Tango X that Jess referenced in this episode, click here. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 199: Polyamory, Toxic Monogamy, & Ethical Non-Monogamy: What Therapists & Practitioners Need to Know (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:18): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr Jess. Dr. Jess (00:25): Hi, hi. Brandon (00:26): Hello. Dr. Jess (00:27): How you feeling today? Brandon (00:30): I'm feeling pretty good, you? Dr. Jess (00:31): I'm good. I woke up in a bad mood. But I'm feeling much better. I’ve have had really wild morning, some exciting meetings, learning about some new topics. And I'm really looking forward to today's topic here on polyamory, and toxic monogamy, and compersion and a whole bunch of other hot topics. Brandon (00:51): Should be a great conversation. I'm looking forward to it. Dr. Jess (00:54): Yes, before we dive in. I want to thank http://www.letsgetchecked.com for their ongoing support of our program. Check them out http://www.letsgetchecked.com for all your at home health testing needs, and use code DRJESS to save. And I thought I’d mention something. My friends over at We Vibe, which is really my favourite sex toy brand honestly. I've been working with them forever. I've been using them forever. And my favourite toy is called the Touch. I've had my Touch forever. It sort of looks like a flat thick purple tongue. Is that a good way to describe it? Brandon (01:27): Yeah I would say so. Dr. Jess (01:29): Or like a skinny computer mouse. Brandon (01:32): Yes both of those. Dr. Jess (01:34): I've been pulled over by TSA, and they've asked what's in the bag. They’re like “are those computer mice.” Cause I always have a bunch of them. I’m like not exactly. I always just tell them they’re sex toys and they let me go on my merry ways, because they don't want to go into my suitcase. Brandon (01:47): That’s one that I've used on the plane, as a neck massager. Dr. Jess (01:51): It might have been. You've also used the Wish, the blue one. Brandon (01:56): They all work. Dr. Jess (01:58): Anyhow. We Vibe has come out with a new and improved TouchX, as well as their new Tango. And I'm super excited because these are kind of our old stalwarts. These are the toys that I've had in my personal kit for so long. And now they've been upgraded and yeah, I'm just really excited to try them. I'm not gonna lie and say I've tried them yet. Because I'm still in Jamaica.

Courtney Brame founded Something Positive for Positive People after his own herpes diagnosis and through his non-profit and podcast, he shares real stories and resources for people with positive STI diagnoses. He joins us to discuss shame, stigma, dating, suicide prevention and more including: How he felt when he was first diagnosed How he navigated the dating world post-diagnosis How people respond when he shares his positive status How to disclose to a new partner How herpes serves as a compass for the body and self-care The costs of herpes jokes How we can reduce the shame and stigma How to build a support system after a diagnosis Check out the Something Positive for Positive People Podcast. Follow Courtney on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 198: Dating with Herpes: Disclosure, Stigma & Healing (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (0:18): Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my always lovely other half, Dr Jess. Dr. Jess (0:26): Feeling somewhat lovely this morning. I feel like we're getting into our 2021 groove. And you know if we go back to the Dionne Roberts podcast on rest, I've been getting more rest and sleep than I ever have in my life. I think I'm growing. I think I'm an inch taller. Brandon (0:41): I'm gonna attribute it in all seriousness to shutting my phone off earlier, making that commitment. And I've been trying to stick to it in 2021. I mean we're only a short time into that, but having that alarm set on my phone or whatever the setting is, to shut off my phone, is really I think helping me sleep. Dr. Jess (01:01): So we're getting more sleep, but my sleeps are a little bit tormented. I feel like my body is still adjusting to this whole eight hours plus sleep, like I think my body was more used to five and now it's like after five hours, even though we're going to bed earlier, I'm waking up. But I think it's getting us into a groove. I don't know it feels good in the body. Brandon (01:21): I agree. It feels good. Almost embarrassed to admit how early we have gone to bed some nights Dr. Jess (01:25): Don't tell the people. Brandon (01:27): We used to have dinner later. Dr. Jess (01:29): We used to go to remember, we used to make fun of the people who went to the club before eleven when we were young? Brandon (01:35): You're going to the club at at ten thirty, eleven? What’s wrong with you? Dr. Jess (01:40): Now, we’re fast asleep, fourth cycle of REM. I don’t know how that works, so don’t quote me on that. Today, we are going to be chatting with an old friend of the podcast who is really doing incredible work in this field via his nonprofit organization, "Something Positive for Positive People". And so he helps to provide therapy and support to folks who are diagnosed with herpes, and other STIs. And through his podcast, he shares his own story of diagnosis and the stories of other people who are diagnosed. And if you tune in or follow Courtney, his name's Courtney Brame,

Psychotherapist, Farzana Doctor, joins us to discuss her latest novel, Seven. She shares her own story as a survivor and an activist and discusses the role the body can play in healing. She also sheds light on the practice of female genital mutilation and cutting, which occurs in all corners of the globe, including North America. We discuss somatic therapy, labiaplasty, and the perils of white saviorism as well as her journey of healing post trauma. Follow Farzana on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Use code DOCTOR25 for 25% off Seven at Dundurn Publishers! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 197: Somatic Therapy, Sexual Healing & FGMC (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Dr. Jess (0:18): Hey hey. Brandon how you doing today? Brandon (0:20): I'm doing pretty good. How are you? Dr. Jess (0:22): I'm good. I saw that you had a big day today. Brandon (0:26): I did, big morning. Dr. Jess (0:28): You had your first friend date since like, their first virtual friend date, since the onset of COVID. We're like ten months in and you told me you were going to have coffee with a friend online and I was like, “Oh my god. That's so exciting.” And I mean I know we talk about relationships. But I wonder if we should spend some more time talking about friendships. Brandon (0:52): Yeah I had a great, I mean just caught up with a friend over coffee. And like you said it was the first time since this began that I haven’t kind of jumped in on your group of friends to have some connection. So there's this friend of mine who we would meet once every week or two, have coffee, catch up, and honestly just talk. And not like surface, superficial conversations but deeper conversations. We've shed some tears together. When our dog passed away he was one of the few people that I shared the story with. And it was really hard for me and honestly I hope he doesn't mind me saying this but we were both like in tears, at this coffee shop which was a little different. Dr. Jess (01:37): So that was a few years ago. Darkhorse, in the Canary District district right? Brandon (01:43): Yeah coming up on about two years ago that happened. And since then we've shared in other things that have been going on in my life, and things that were going on in his life, and it doesn't always get deep, but it's nice to have a friend where you can dig a little bit deeper and you can open up because it's not something that I felt like I grew up with. I had a lot of friends that we that we really shared, I guess intimately about, like things of it. Dr. Jess (02:09): Yeah and I bring it up because you know, I'm super social and you tend to kind of pop in and pop out. And I think sometimes and correct me if I'm wrong, my friend group fills your social cup right? Like you kinda just come and hang with us for a little bit. Then you pull a Brandon and leave us. But I guess during these different times where I'm not seeing any of my friends right now, we are with two of my cousins here, that's who we're living with actually. They're moving out though tomorrow,

This week we explore the research that connects sleep and rest with sex and relationships. Dionne Roberts joins us as we discuss: How your sleep affects your connection and conflict How Yoga Nidra can be used to address sleep deprivation and improve relationships Sound baths How to reduce stress in the name of overall health and happier relationships How to let go of the mindsets that cause stress and hinder relaxation Follow Dionne on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. It's not too late to sign up for her Rest & Digest Virtual Retreat happening today! Check out her Youtube channel, and let her walk you through one of her Yoga Nidra practices below! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 196: Yoga Nidra, Rest & Sleep Habits: How They Affect Sex & Relationships (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (0:19): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (0:26): Hello, how did you sleep last night? That's what's on my mind. How'd you sleep? Brandon (0:30): That’s what’s on your mind. I slept okay. Wasn't bad, had a hard time falling asleep. But once I'm asleep I'm usually out for the count. Dr. Jess (0:38): Except when I wake you up in the night. Brandon (0:40): Except when you wake me up, and my default has been to start to rub your hand before I fall back asleep. Dr. Jess (0:46): I think you just hold it. Brandon (0:49): What do you know? You don't even know anyways, you’re probably asleep. Dr. Jess (0:52): I'm feeling actually a little bit better today. My sleep has been so poor lately. With everything that's been going on, you know my schedule has been turned upside down. I don't know if we talked about the fact that we've been going to bed so early and I've been waking up by five. Brandon (1:10): We go to bed embarrassingly early, the last six weeks. Dr. Jess (1:13): But it's so weird because my whole life I've been a night owl, like my ideal would be to stay up 'til about 2:30 every night and get up by 6. Brandon (1:23): Really, 2:30? I'd be asleep by 12, 12:30, and I'd like to get up around the same, around 6. Dr. Jess (1:32): Yeah but I can't do that. I mean it's not enough sleep. I did it for so many years, and it's not healthy and that's what we're going to be talking about today. About how important feeling rested and getting a good night's sleep is to overall health and wellbeing, but also to relationships and to your sex life. So before we dive into that. I want to say thank you to “Let’s Get Checked”, check them out if you are looking to do any medical health testing at home, http://www.letsgetchecked.com. Use the code DRJESS, you can get tested for everything from hormones to STIs and a whole bunch of other tests, so do check them out. And I also wanted to shout out an event I’m pretty excited for next week, because I'm working with a brand that I've been using personally for a long time and this brand is Consonant. So Consonant was introduced to me by my mom,

How does a survival mindset affect sexuality? How does history and oppression shape sexuality for Black women? How do you learn to love your body and give yourself permission to embrace pleasure? How do you really fall in love with yourself? How does code switching affect sex and relationships? How do we unlearn embedded messages that hold us back in life and in love? Community Psychologist and Sexologist, Author and Professor Dr. Hareder McDowell joins us to share her experience and insights. Follow Dr. McDowell on Facebook and Instagram. Follow P.R.E.T.T.Y. INC. on Instagram and Twitter. And if you need to do some belated holiday gift shopping, use code DRJESS for a small discount on Womanizer products! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 195: Overcome Shame & Oppression in the Name of Self-Love & Pleasure (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:18): Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co host Brandon Ware here, with my lovely other half, the doctor Jess. Dr. Jess (00:25): Happy, happy new year. Brandon (00:28): Yeah, happy new year. Do you feel any different? Dr. Jess (00:31): Well as you know Brandon, and other folks may not know, we didn't exactly ring out or ring in the new year because we were dealing with a family situation with somebody being diagnosed positive with COVID, so we had a nice quiet new year, Chinese food and champagne. You know I don't really like anything more than that. Just the two of us and my one uncle, Dee, from a distance, shout out to Uncle Dee, totally taking care of us in the middle of this family, I don't wanna say crisis, but hiccup for sure. And it's the start of 2021. I'm definitely excited for it. It's interesting if I were to get into it, I didn't get all the things done I had wanted to complete in 2020. And I was talking to my therapist today, and her big question is why? Like, why do you need to do these things? Why is it so important? Because I feel so torn between wanting to do them but also not wanting to do the work you know? Brandon (01:31): You just want it to magically happen? Dr. Jess (01:34): Not so much that, because I love the work. But this I think feeling torn between what you feel you should do and what you really enjoy doing. And one of the questions she posed to me had to do with like, “why? What’s your vision?" Right? “What is your mission? What is your purpose?” She said, “Avoid mission creep.” I thought this was really interesting, where other things are creeping into my mission and distracting me from what I wanna do. So if I'm in the privileged position to not have to do things I don't wanna do, why do I? So we got into that you know, the scarcity mindset that I struggle with, some of the fear of saying “no”, wanting everyone — and this is a word that comes up for me — desperately to like me, and that's a really hard thing because you're setting yourself up for failure. So I guess I just came out of my therapy session, so I'm letting loose. But I am excited for 2021. Do you have any resolutions?

This is your ultimate guide to the G-Spot, G-Zone, ejaculation, squirting and more! We answer all of your questions including: Can everyone have a squirter orgasm? How do you learn to squirt? What is the G-Spot and what is the G-Zone? Is there a difference between squirting and ejaculation? What is a squirter orgasm? Can you ejaculate without having an orgasm? How can you stimulate the G-Zone? What are the best toys for G-Zone stimulation? What toys can help you to squirt? Does the volume of ejaculate relate to the intensity of the orgasm? And much more! To learn more about the products that can potentially stimulate the g-spot, check out the Womanizer Duo, the We-Vibe Rave, Crave's Flex Vibrator, and the We-Vibe Nova 2. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. G-Spots, G-Zones & Squirting 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr jazz. Podcast i'm your co host brandon. Where here with my always lovely. Other half dr jess. And it's the last podcast of twenty twenty last conversation at twenty twenty. Dr justice decided. She's not going to speak to me for a couple days. We know i'm not gonna stop speaking. I'm always going to be talking. I think it's funny. When you call me dr jess it's only on the podcast and where was whereas the other in bed in bet anyone has to call me. Dr been the running joke for what fourteen years. Yeah although i heard someone use it the other day they stole it stole. my joke. Stole your jokes patent in these things. So today we're going to be talking about squirting and ejaculation ejaculation orgasms. And i think when we think about ejaculation. We tend to think about penis says. But it's for all bodies. Squirting of course is not a sideshow trick. You don't get points for volume or distance force and it doesn't even mean you have a bigger or better orgasm although for some people that's their experience but i think for most of us what we know about squirting or what we believe about squirting comes from pornography and i get so many questions about squirting people wanna know you know how to do it. Can everybody do it. what do you use to do it. What is it is it p. How do i get my partner to do it. Does it really feel good. What do i do and my partner doesn't want to do it. And i have to admit that. I'd seen ninety percent of the questions i receive around. Squirting are really rooted in performance. And i think even beginning with the language it's important to note that squirting is a bit of a misnomer because unless you've got us super soaker two thousand hidden in your vagina. It's not always a big squirt across the room again in porn. I know that it's a very visual medium. So it's always going across the room taken camera two camera. Tuesday only got a switch to camera. One go to the wide angle but in real life it might be more of a drip or a dribble as opposed to a really visible gush. And if you've ever had the sex and then gotten up after the sex and there's a wet spot in bed and then you tell your partner. Hey switch sides with me. I can't sleep in that wet spot.

There is almost nothing better than sharing how you feel about your partner, and this “dating profile” gift is a simple, but powerful gift that keeps on giving. This week, Jess’ cousins Annabella & Denise join us to share this homemade, no-cost, gift: A dating profile written for a loved one. Jess also shares one she wrote for her Mom, and Brandon and Jess share one another’s. We encourage you to try this one yourself and let us know how it goes! Rough transcript of the podcast below: Welcome. It’s the end of the year and there is no better time to check in with your health. And our partner LetsGetChecked lets you do all of your health testing from home — from hormones to thyroid to STIs to cholesterol to iron to lime disease — test from home, send it in and get secure results online. Go to LetsGetChecked.com and please use code DRJESS to save and to let them know you heard about their services here. Last year around this time, Brandon and I did an exercise based on a 2017 article in the NYT entitled, 'You May Want to Marry my Husband' by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. In the piece, which she wrote from her deathbed, Rosenthal writes about her husband’s many appealing qualities as though she is writing his dating profile. Now back in 2017, I was away on a long business trip and I read her article on a plane — I was messy crying the whole time. She sings his praises after 26 years of marriage and she passes away 10 days later. I was so moved by the piece and inspired that I used it to write Brandon’s dating profile — just in point form and I sent it to him via text and of course, we both ended up in tears. And so I ended up using the column as inspiration for a group exercise. I was working with a group of couples in Prague and I asked them to to read Rosenthal’s column and then write a dating profile for their partner as a reminder of why they love them and to help reignite the passion. Every participant (and even their two Czech translators) struggled to contain their tears as they read the article and made a list of their partners best qualities. When they were done, they reported feeling more present, grateful, in love and intimate with their partners. The shift of energy in the room was palpable and they were grateful that I excused myself so they could bask in the afterglow without my clinical interference. So last year on the podcast, Brandon and I redid the exercise. I wrote his dating profile, he wrote mine and we shared them with each other on the podcast. We’re going to briefly read these and you u can definitely go back and listen to that episode now (it’s Episode 89) to listen to our reactions, but this year, I wanted to try something different. I want to try this process for other folks we love in our lives because the expression of love, of course, extends far beyond romantic or intimate partners. So I’ve written my mom’s dating profile, which I’m going to share. And my cousin Anna is here and she has written her mom, Denise’s profile. And they’re both joining us now. Anna’s dating profile for her Mom, Denise: There's a lot to be said about my Mom which needs more than five minutes. A quiet, calm, strong base of the family. The best listener, and because of that - the best advice giver. She's so understanding it's annoying. She has this ability to see all sides even when tensions/emotions are high, and speak rationally about it. She always helps me from cakes to school work. She always gives her time, her emotional capacity, she ALWAYS cares. She gives the best hugs. She's funny in a nice way, she doesn't pick on people for jokes. She's quirky. She's able to enjoy the moment so well. She's dedicated and hard working. She's graceful like the fairytales. She has a crazy amount of patience even when you don't deserve it. Her baking and cooking :) And she loves to share that love. I also wrote my Mom’s dating profile (she’s the best):

After 46 years of writing about sexuality and the more than 12,000 sex questions answered, Michael Castleman is well positioned to weigh in on all things sex. He joins us to discuss his experience as the world’s most popular sex writer and together we address a buffet of questions including: What is sex like in your 70s? Why is full body pleasure so important? What were Brandon’s early sexual experiences? How can we master ejaculatory control and deal with premature ejaculation? What really makes a penis better in bed? What myths are destroying sex for men? What are the most common questions men (Playboy readers) had in the 90s? How do you spread arousal from head to toe? How do you replace genital focus with playfulness? What is sensate focus? How to get over penis preoccupation? Is sex addiction an industry or a diagnosis? Check out Castleman’s upcoming book, Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure at Any Age. Follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter. This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. EPISODE 192: Former Playboy Advisor Weighs in on Full-Body Pleasure (00:05): You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Brandon (00:18): Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Dr. Jess (0:25): Hey hey, we're coming at you today from Jamaica. We’re still isolated in Negril. I think we're going on around thirteen days. And we've been asked to isolate for fourteen. And we're going to be I guess seeing my family in a couple of days, which is making me a little bit nervous. Obviously I'm super excited to see them. Especially my cousin Annabella, but it's an interesting time of course to see people or bubble with people. And I know babe you're not feeling one hundred percent, like actually bubbling with the family and, there’s only five of them. I mean there are hundreds of them down here but five that we’ll be staying on property with. Not in the same house but on their property. Brandon (01:16): And it's not that I'm not excited to see them. But I think our opinions of distance and safety are a little bit different. And let me be clear. I'm excited to see your family too. I'm excited to see your family at a distance, or with a mask on or outside. Dr. Jess (01:35): Well Jamaica makes it easy obviously to be outside, which cuts our risk. And I thought I'd this up, because I think it's something that we don't fully agree on. And I also don't think it's something that we’re necessarily going to meet in the middle on. So I'm of the mindset that I'm pretty comfortable seeing my family outside, even sitting at a dinner table outside. And that could change, I think that's the thing with comfort levels. You know, if I see something happening with other people in the picture, and it makes me uncomfortable, maybe my perspective shifts. But oftentimes relationships, we think about, “Oh how do you meet in the middle?” And I'm thinking that anything I do, you’re essentially doing. So let's say you decide to always stay six feet apart,

In this episode, we chat about our own issues with food as a couple — fights from our past, lessons we’ve learned, and the ways in which individual and cultural differences influence our expectations. We also answer some listener questions including: How do I get over feelings of worthlessness related to my partner not having an orgasm? How do I get more comfortable with masturbation? How can I learn to orgasm without a toy? Is it normal to not enjoy clitoral stimulation? What is mindful masturbation? If you’ve got questions for the podcast, please send them our way! And feel free to share your food fight (or harmony) stories as well. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Food Fights, Orgasms & Mindful Masturbation 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr jazz. Podcast i'm your co host brandon. Where here with my lovely other. Half dr jess hey. Hey i'm feeling. I'm feeling excited today. Exceptionally excited because this is first podcasts. Since we moved down to jamaica temporarily permanently not forever and ever but for a while and it was. it was an ordeal. the build up was very nerve wracking. Because i don't know there was just a lot to wrap up in toronto but excited to be down here we are. I guess what you'd call isolating. We're not forced to stay in our hotel room. But we're not seeing anybody else for fourteen days and then we're going to move over to the north north east coast north kind of in the middle of the island on the north coast to iraq abassah to be with my family. Which will be interesting. Because oh my gosh. I miss them so much. But also i definitely think. Brandon has a different expectations of distancing than than maybe other people. You err on the side of caution distancing distancing. i mean. we've been told in canada to keep our distance. Wear a mask if you're inside and to limit your your group your your circle your bubble in canada now. So i think that to say distancing as distancing. It's definitely different wherever you are. You know we have folks who are listening in the states and even across the states. The standards are different. I'm not saying that you know i get that. They're saying six feet masks limit indoor exposure but people's notion of bubble so i don't know if they're using the language of bubble everywhere but in ontario. They're talking about the size of your bubble on how how big it's allowed to be in. It depends on the area that you're in so certainly i think it's a challenge and we have to learn from a relationship perspective to communicate our needs and our own boundaries. I think people who are not receiving hugs and physical affection from me when it's safe to do so and with your consent. I will be hugging the crap out of everybody. So perhaps joy this period right now where. I'm not hugging you. And i'm a little more comfortable with hugs with some people. It was my mom seventieth birthday yesterday so before we left we saw her. And i mean. I'm not gonna lie. I gave her a hug. We were wearing masks. But i gave you give her a hug to give her a hug but again it was one of the few that i have given out over the last ten months. So you can imagine.

Do you talk about the role technology plays in your relationships — for better or worse? This week, we discuss some of the ways in which technology interferes with connection and explore an important conversation all couples (and singles!) can use to minimize technoference. We also discuss anxiety related to tech and the pandemic, share strategies to change the way we use technology, and answer a listener question about how to respond to a sticky situation with a new beau. Consider these prompts to start this important conversation: Technology 1. How do you feel the use of tech devices affects your relationship? Be specific. 2. How do you feel about electronics in the bedroom or at the table (or elsewhere)? 3. How often do you want to be connected/disconnected? 4. Why are you drawn to your phone/device? 5. Would you like to reduce your use of technology when you’re together? If so, why? 6. How do you feel when your partner is on their phone in different scenarios/environments (e.g. in bed, at the table, while watching TV, in the car etc.)? 7. What commitments can you make to minimize technoference? 8. How can you use technology to enhance your relationship? We are extending our Black Friday & Cyber Monday sales on our Happier Couples video courses! Use code PODCAST at checkout to save 40% on Mind Blowing Oral: Penis Edition & Mind Blowing Oral: Clit Edition. Use code FRIEND to save 25% on Mindful Sex and Last Longer in Bed: 6 Steps to Master Premature Ejaculation. These savings won't last, so take advantage today! This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Technoference: How to Talk About Tech & Ditch Bad Habits 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast i'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess. How are you hanging in there. Ready to talk some techno fearance. Always it's a buzzword but it's a real thing you had something that i've struggled with. I think that we've we've had lots of discussions about yeah. I think you're a lot more patient with me around tech use than maybe i am with you. I'm a little bit more reactive. I would agree. I think that. I also tend to just assume that whenever you're working on your phone or your laptop or whatever device it is it's urgent or it's pressing so i'm okay with it whereas on the opposite and look if you're on your phone you're just ignoring me. I have felt that way at times but Generally speaking over the years been trying to make an effort to try and find some boundaries. And well we're gonna be talking about technical because last night we hosted a session called conversations for couples via good for her which is a local shop. Sex positive independently owned boutique in toronto. That has been you know. Providing toys and educational materials and online courses as well as been an important support in in the queer community here in toronto They're called good for her any. We hosted this online session for a group of couples and in the session we worked through ten. Actually it was really like twelve but it was supposed to be ten essential conversations ranging from ...

Psychologist Dr. Gina Di Giulio joins us to discuss Covid anxiety, CBT, and the ways in which attachment styles affect our relationships. She walks us through the three dimensions of attachment theory as well as the four main styles of attachment. Jess and Brandon open up about their own irritability and frustrations and they discuss cognitive strategies to increase feelings of security. And on a totally separate note, Jess also weighs in on a listener question regarding how to ride like a pro! Check out Dr. Gina's notes below... Attachment theory: How we attach to other adults strongly corresponds to how we attach to others, especially our primary caregivers, as a child. Adults with different attachment styles will differ in terms of how they deal with emotional intimacy How they communicate in relationships, in terms of their needs and wants, how readily they are willing to consider others' as well How much they trust others, how vulnerable they're willing to be in relationships How they respond to interpersonal conflict What they expect from their partner There are 3 dimensions that underlie attachment styles: Closeness - how comfortable someone feels being emotionally close and intimate Dependency - how comfortable someone feels with needing or having to rely on others Anxiety - the extent to which someone worries about their partner abandoning or rejecting them The four attachment styles are: Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant & Disorganized. Secure Attachment: Low on avoidance, low on anxiety Are comfortable relying on their partner, and their partner relying on them in times of need Trust that their partner will be around, don’t worry about abandonment Trusts partner to lead independent life without feeling threatened Doesn't smother their partner Healthy self-esteem Comfortable with closeness Better in conflict, doesn't avoid it Forgiving and empathic Effective communicators Regulate their emotions well Ambivalent (Anxious) Attachment: Low on avoidance, high on anxiety Insecure in relationships Fearful of being rejected or abandoned, react by becoming clingy Worried about being too little or too much for their partner Sensitive to partner’s moods, take them personally Clingy, demanding, possessive, “Needy” - can scare partners away Don’t regulate their emotions well Moody, argumentative, blame others, poor boundaries Avoidant (Dismissive) Attachment: High on avoidance, low on anxiety Uncomfortable with closeness Prefer to be alone Keep partner’s at arm's length Values independence and freedom (intimacy = a loss of independence) Dismissive, fearful Scared of being hurt Don't communicate openly and effectively Fear of being vulnerable or “weak” “Emotionally unavailable” Avoid conflict Good in a crisis, “stoic”, action-oriented Emotionally distant and rejecting Disorganized (Unresolved, Fearful-Avoidant) Attachment: High on avoidance, high on anxiety Fearful of being rejected or abandoned, react by distancing themselves from others Uncomfortable with intimacy Uncomfortable with closeness, difficulty trusting others, can’t depend on others Unresolved emotions, mindset from past traumas Often abusive and dysfunctional in relationships Lack of empathy, punishing, narcissistic, disregard for rules Often a traumatic past, PTSD, intrusive triggers, anger, dissociation to avoid pain Attachment Styles and Infidelity There are many reasons why people cheat, complex and varied - attachment styles is one of them and the dynamic between partners is one of the strongest predictors of cheating. The Ambivalent (Anxious) is most likely to cheat. Anxious Attachment: Running toward closeness. Might cheat as a means of feeling closeness and feeling an emotional connection and affection from someone else (esp. if their partner is dismissive)

Sexologist Ashely Cobb joins us to talk about her new program Hoe and Tell as well as to answer a ton of sex & relationship questions including: What is pegging? What sexual secrets are your friends and neighbours harbouring? How do I get my shy partner to make noise in bed? How do I introduce something new? Does everyone need lube? Can you get good sex ed on Tik Tok? How do you let go of sexual shame that is tied to religion? What are might-as-well relationships and what can we do about them? How to ditch pressures related to family and cultural expectations. Should a couple really operate as a unit? What questions should you ask before you get into a committed relationship? Is it okay to not like blow jobs? Follow Ashley on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. Also, check out Ashley's podcast, Hoe and Tell. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Bisexuality, Religious Shame & Might-As-Well Relationships 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with dr jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr. Just podcast i'm your co host brand. Where here with my lovely other. Half dr jess hey. How's it going very good. Are you feeling good today. I like the sound of your voice. In my headphones. It's even hotter than just in the general atmosphere. Lots going on today. We're going to be talking with another sexologist. Sex educator sex influence her and new podcast host sex with ashley. And i'm a big fan of tiktok and instagram's gonna want to check those out very excited here. What she has to say about her upcoming podcast. Before we invite ashley to join us. I want to answer a few questions. I know we have so many questions coming in from the podcast. And i'm not good at keeping up with them and i'm working on it but this first one is dear doctor jess please. I need to know if you can give me. Oh this person wants to pay me but you don't have to pay me for this answer. All right. I want to formerly know if all men like to receive fillet xio or is it more of a personal preference and then it says i'll pay for such service and i think the answer not the felicia so i think that it's different for everyone. I think most penises. Enjoy a good suck. I would have to concur or some form of touching generally. But i mean every body is different so i just want you to know that if you don't enjoy it that's perfectly fine and if you've got a penis or a dickel in your life i really liked that word. The best if you have a penis in your life. That doesn't really like being sucked. That's also okay. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing it wrong. It doesn't mean that they can't enjoy other types of pleasure. So i want to be really clear that whatever you experience is perfectly valid. Now if you don't If there are certain types of sexual pleasure that you associate with distress that might be something worth exploring but generally speaking everyone's different so we'll we'll leave it at that and you don't have to pay for it all right. I have some more questions here. This person says hello. I have a shy wife who doesn't scream or moan during sacks. I really need to moan for me. How do i achieve this well. I think there's some layers here that i'd i'd want to explore S...

We talk labia, penis size, public relationships, consensual non-monogamy and more with Taylor Nolan. Taylor is a psychotherapist who appeared on ABC's The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. She hosts her own podcast and is recognized on social media for being outspoken and vulnerable on issues around intersectional feminism, animal rescue, and mental and sexual health. Follow Taylor on Instagram & Twitter. Check out Taylor's podcast, Let's Talk About It! Here are a few notes on our discussion of labia... Why are we so obsessed with the way our labia looks? Because we have very few opportunities to see real naked bodies, we tend to draw our expectations from porn. But porn, as we know, is not generally representative of the general population. The bodies depicted tend to reflect one specific standard and oftentimes don’t align with what we see in ourselves. When it comes to how we view our labia, we may want to thicken, shorten, lengthen, or lighten ours to match what we see in porn. These unrealistic expectations are only intensified by the fact that we don’t tend to talk about our labia with our friends and this silence around our genitals can reinforce feelings of shame. How can I get over thinking my lips are ugly? If you don’t love your labia, that’s okay. You don’t have to love everything about your body at every moment in time. It might be useful to consider where these negative messages and feelings come from: Were you told that it was “dirty” when you were young? If so, do you know otherwise now? The vagina, for example, is like a self cleaning oven. Were you shamed for touching yourself as a child or teenager? Can you reframe these messages to enjoy your body and derive pleasure from masturbation? Can you consider the health benefits of masturbation? These include stress reduction, lower anxiety, improved mood, a better night’s sleep and heightened sexual functioning. The more pleasure you learn to derive from your body and the more you allow your body to perform for you in functional ways (e.g. dance, sport, self expression), the more likely you’ll be to develop a neutral or positive attitude toward it. An ex said they were long and I can’t get it out of my head. I’m always wondering what my BF is thinking... If your partner is shaming you for your labia or any part of your body, they might want to consider how they feel about their own body - and how they might work on their self-esteem in general. Oftentimes when we’re critical of others, it’s because we’re avoiding confronting our own self-criticism. Is labiaplasty a valid option? Note on labiaplasty: This is a personal choice. I do know one woman who found that her labia got in the way of comfortable intercourse (especially post menopause) and she found many clothes uncomfortable. She therefore opted to have a labiaplasty to reduce the length of her lips and is happy with the results. I also know others who feel pressured to alter their labia by unrealistic portrayals of beauty. This podcast has been sponsored by Let'sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex Clubs, Open Relationships & Setting Boundaries with Taylor Nolan 00:00:05 - 00:05:01

How’s your penis doing? How’s your diet and how does it relate to the pleasure you experience? And how can you have better anal sex? Sexual Medicine fellow & LGBTQ advocate, Dr. Josh Gonzalez, MD, joins us to discuss arousal, orgasm, ejaculation, erection, pain and more. He shares his expertise and answers your questions including: What’s the best diet for your penis? How can you deal with painful ejaculation? What is a muted orgasm? How can you deal with delayed ejaculation? What are excitatory neurotransmitters? What is soft glans and what are your treatment options? What is Peyronie’s and how can it be treated? How do some antidepressants inhibit and help and harm sexual pleasure including orgasm and desire? Follow Dr. Josh Gonzalez on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. Check out his recent articles on the Astroglide blog here. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. All About Your Penis: Pleasure, Curves, Diet, Erection & More! 00:00:05 - 00:05:07 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr podcast. I'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half dr jess how you doing. I'm all right man. It's a weird week. We got the election results dragging out. We've got good weather here in toronto to the point that it almost felt normal yesterday to sit on patio and which is unusual to because we don't normally get t shirt weather in november now but i'll take it on. I guess i probably shouldn't if it's bad for the environment. But i did enjoy a moment of normalcy yesterday sitting on the patio. Feeling as though i don't know we weren't in the middle of covid for just a moment. Yeah felt really good. First time for me. About seven months where. I felt relaxed for a moment and i remember looking around and the sun was shut. Maybe everything was rosy. Because the sun was shining. I was into t-shirt the weather was comfortable. We were on a patio. Doing what we normally have have done in the past which we haven't been able to do you mean daydream. that too. yes yeah it's it's a strange time but it was nice to have that moment where you kinda forgot that the world is imploding. Your mixed me look very much look forward to the normal see that will once again be upon us. Yes the new normal before we dive into today's topic which is the pinas and sexual health and sexual medicine and managing sexual dysfunction with our guest. Dr joshua gonzalez. I wanna say thank you to cleveland for their ongoing support of this program. Folks be sure to check out. Cleo von dot com this is sound way of technology that enhances orgasms cellular level by treating the clitoris directly. And it's a totally noninvasive. No downtime no scalpels no needles. Nothing like that. So follow along at cleveland and check them out. At cleo von dot com now today we are going to be talking about iraq shins and ejaculation and delayed ejaculation and muted orgasm. And all of that. Fun stuff centering on the penis. So how's your penis doing today filming. Thank you for asking. What do you think about your penis. Much i don't normally think of my penis much ado at least one of us guys. I tend to over.

The brilliant Dr. Lexx Brown-James joins us to share their insights and answers your sex & relationship questions including: How to deal with feelings of rejection. What’s the real difference between truth and honesty. What to do when you or your lover lose their erection. Managing feelings related to weight gain and why more weight can mean more pleasure! How to get over fears of initiating sex. How to feel worthy of love, sex and pleasure without the pressure to “do more” in bed. Follow Dr. Lexx on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Lingerie Humiliation, Sex Sans Erection & Sexual Worthiness 00:00:00 - 00:05:08 You're listening to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast sex and relationship advice you can you off tonight? Welcome to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon. We're here with my always thought the other half. Dr. Jess. How are you? Oh, wonderful. It's going to be 6 with Dr. Lex today. Oh mixing it up. Yeah, but it's not me playing a role. It's an actual other person doctor Lex the therapist and we're going to be answering some of your questions and I have to say we do receive so many questions and we fall behind and I always feel badly that we don't get to all of them Faithfully. We're going to power through a few today and I want to open with a question for Brandon. It's a nice short and sweet one that I received on Instagram before we dive off. In want to say thank you to our October sponsored Cleo Vana. You can learn more at cleveland.com. Cleveland uses sound wave therapy to induce a number of biological responses, like cellular reaction and nerve stimulation and improve blood supply and improve nerve functioning and neovascularization. All of which are intended to lead to be improved orgasms. So cleveland.com check them out. And now let's dive into Brandon's thoughts on a short and sweet question. This person says, so I'm single and people say I should lower my standards. I think that is total BS. Do you agree with me or them while they really only gave me two choices there so I don't ever standard question because is it specific to me? Did you have to lower your standards for me? I don't know if I had standards when I was dating know honestly. I'm putting it back on you. I know when I am. No, no. No, I don't know that I had specific standards when we met I was young and I don't think I was specifically looking for a relationship or not looking for a relationship. I didn't grow up with much in mind in terms of you know, having a partner or not having a partner had like a boyfriend in high school that I we kind of just fell into it, but it was not one of those people that you know dreamed of my wedding or dreamed of a specific life. I didn't think that far ahead. So I don't think that I don't even want to say you met my standards or exit or you know, exceeded my expectations. I mean, you're you're fabulous. I don't want to I don't want to say I mean I'm going to save you right now, but by interjecting I blah blah, but I I mean on so many levels you say you you were you exceeded everything I could have possibly hoped for in a partner and I think the more I got The more I've gotten to know you over the last almost twenty years t...

Author and Astrologist Mecca Woods joins Jess and Brandon to weigh-in on whether or not you should consider your Zodiac sign in dating, and shares her insights on: The relational and sexual strengths of each Zodiac sign How air, earth, water and fire signs differ from one another How we can benefit from embracing elements from all Astrological signs The areas you may want to work on according to your Zodiac sign How Astrology can support self-development Astrology as a motivational tool as opposed to a destiny-focused blueprint Follow Mecca on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. Also, check out her podcast: Stars On Fire This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Astrology of Sex & Relationships 00:00:00 - 00:05:09 You're listening to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast sex and relationship advice you can you off tonight? Welcome to the sex with dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other page. Dr. Jess. Hey, hey, hey, you're ready to talk about you as an aquarium. I am I'm I'm definitely ready to dive into that Wormhole. I you know anything about being an aquarium. No other than having had been born in February. That's about it. Okay, so your your birthday, thank you. Yes, I think our eighteen-month-old nice note both day. There you go. We're going to be talking about astrology and sex and relationships and personality and all that fun stuff before we dive in I want to say a big change. Q to our October sponsor Cleo vanes Oakley Ivana uses sound wave technology to enhance orgasms at the cellular level by targeting the clitoris, you know, I love the clitoris and the treatment boost the process of regenerating cells in the clitoris which results in improved blood flow to the area. Sounds good. Hun. Sounds amazing. I wish they had something like that for those of us with penises. No, no don't even stop it stop honestly because there's so many treatments for penises Cleveland earlier response to the lack of treatment for clitoris has well, it sounds great. All right, let's talk. Let's talk astrology. So not too long ago. I was part of a press event for the whole bunch of the nova-2 from Levi, which is just an incredible toy. So it is like a Rabbit vibrator, but it actually works. So it has an internal team that presses against the G'zOne that area on the upper wall and it has its own separate motor and it's adjustable and then it has the outside arm in the old days. These are like little bunny ears, but it has a full bulb that presses against the external clitoris and you can control each arm the internal and external separately so you can yep. Obviously you can control it at the source or you can pair it with the app. Anyhow, we've I've had this big launch party online for the nova-2 and they hired an astrologist Mecca Woods to to discuss the ways in which the stars and the planets are used to predict and understand love and relationships. So all of these journalists show up with their questions about their jobs and sign and their moon sign and where are the different planets are and I was completely lost like just so lost. I know that I'm a monkey in Chinese. I know that I am an aquarium like you bought a birthdays are just a few days apart,

Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator. She joins Jess & Brandon to discuss all things sex, pleasure, wellness and bourbon! How can pleasure mapping improve sexual communication and pleasure? How do you deal with a hypersensitive clitoris? How do you assess pelvic pain and endometriosis? How can therapists and other helping professionals take care of their own physical and mental health? What is vaginal stretching? How can we assess racism and oppression in healthcare? What are Bourbon Talez and what can you learn from them? Follow Uchenna on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Pleasure Mapping, Clitoral Response & Redefining Healthcare 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast sex and relationship advice you can you off tonight? Welcome to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast on your co-host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half a. HS. Hey, hey, how're you feeling today? I'm okay. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I sense there's a lot of tension in there not just with you but just with the world. Yeah you commented before on down on hyper vigilance. And for me, it's an intensity. That's this overarching feeling making all my other feelings exaggerating all of my other feelings, whether it's good or bad. Yeah, we talk about hyper vigilance in you know, in these times where everything is changing where our freedom of movement is restricted. We're we're walking around with a little bit of fear, or if not dead. Fear simply the unknown right walking down the street. You don't want to walk too close to people either because you want to protect yourself and likely because you might make them uncomfortable as well. So just everything in life has gone up in intensity and I can feel it. So I just was thinking we could take a nice moment to take a couple of deep breaths and encourage people listening to also do the same just to take an inhale through your nostrils and then hold for a moment and exhale through your mouth. Are you doing it? I was doing it when you first started talking about it and then I started reflecting on how I might have physically assaulted a banana putting it into the freezer what happened I shoved it in because I was so frustrated. Yeah. He's this breathing really helpful. So maybe a little bit more context there because you're feeling frustrated all the little things get to you. So when I saw you earlier like the freezer was wasn't going to close. I saw you just punch. Even the frozen fruit to get it looser true it would fit. Yeah trying to shake it up a little bit but that's just more reflective of the overarching. Like I said frustration intensity. Yeah, so often, you know that aside at least we get a moment to sit and talk about some topics that are of interest to us because today we're going to be talking about pleasure mapping and self-care and racial Justice jobs in healthcare. We're going to be talking about the pelvic floor and much more with. Dr. You see from you see logic so doctor you see they host bourbon take off on Instagram where she answers all sorts of questions ranging from what do I do if my clitoris is...

We’re joined by pelvic health physiotherapist, Michiko Caringal, who answers all of our questions about how the pelvic floor affects sexual health including: Why might ejaculation be painful? How do you address delayed ejaculation? Why do penises require pelvic floor therapy? Can my vagina fall out? Why is pelvic floor therapy important for cis and trans folks alike? What does a pelvic floor consultation look like? Who might benefit from a rectal exam? How can we improve patient experience to ensure more active vs. passive care? How do you clean your vulva and vagina? What does it mean to “release the tailbone”? How is back pain related to pelvic health and how can posture affect pelvic floor health? Follow Michiko on Instagram & Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Vaginismus, Delayed Ejaculation, Penis Health & Posture: Change Your (Sex) Life Via Your Pelvic Floor 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast sex and relationship advice you can you off tonight? Welcome to the sex with dr. Jazz podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half a Jess. How are you? I'm feeling good. We've got a great guest today who's going to answer so many of our questions regarding pelvic floor health and more. So not just penises and vaginas, but we're going to be talking about delayed ejaculation painful ejaculation pelvic floor therapy for Trans folks for sis folks what a pelvic floor consultation looks like the role of rectal exams in some pelvic floor treatment how we can make patient experiences more active vs. Passive. We're going to be talking about how to clean your Volvo. How long In your vagina what it means to release the tailbone so much more all in the name of sexual health and of course pleasure and that brings us to our October partner for the podcast Cleo Ivana and Cleo Ivana is a treatment that uses sound wave technology to stimulate the growth of blood vessels and nerve tissue and it's completely non-invasive treatment that actually targets the clitoris. So it's not about the vagina and we know the clitoris is responsible for all the pleasure down there and across the body and so with no don't down. It's an exciting new treatment folks can learn more at Cleo Vana.com. Now we are going to be speaking with Michiko caring gal from Happy down there who specializes in pelvic Health physiotherapist all genders Michiko went to U of T and have a couple of master's degrees in physical therapy as well as a master of Health Science in bioethics. Thanks so much for being here. We're happy to chat with u always learning off of Explorer therapists. Tell me tell me about your journey. How did you end up working in this field? Yeah, so I actually experienced pain with sucks for so long for two years actually about ten years ago and I went through so many medical professionals and people were saying, you know, it's in your head or you know, what? Why don't you just a baby in your pelvic pain will go away and all these like, it's like I can't even say how am I supposed to have a baby? So I just went to a pelvic Health physiotherapist and with wage Long commitment and like a lot of work I've got bett...

OBGYN Dr. Nicole E. Williams joins us to answer listener questions, discuss sexual wellness and weigh in on how to: Have sex on your period (if you want to) Manage heavy bleeding due to fibroids Get in the mood post-hysterectomy Find your clitoral legs! Deal with burning post-orgasm Consider options other than a hysterectomy Explore more frequent and intense orgasms with Cliovana & other approaches Follow Dr. Williams on Instagram & Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Cliovana. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Intensify Pleasure & Orgasms! 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sex with dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can you off tonight? Welcome to the sex with dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon. We're here with my always lovely other half. Dr. Jess. Hey, hey, how are you? Feeling? Good. Yeah good. Yeah, we had a nice little getaway. We were working but we've we've been doing some hiking and I don't know it always feels nice to get out in nature, but also up high we've seen some great views. Yeah with the with the colors changing here in Southern Ontario to the Views last weekend on that hike were spectacular. Yeah. So if folks no no the region where we're in Toronto and we headed out toward toward Niagara and Grimsby has this beautiful hike that's it's not particularly hard, but you get a great view of birth. Lake and the Niagara escarpment and it's all changing colors and I'm super excited for the full because I'm not usually here in the fall. Normally I'm traveling. In fact, I was supposed to be in India right now and save the rest of Southeast Asia, but I'm excited to be here because I never get to see the Fall colors. So I'm hoping that we get out again this coming weekend. It folks know any really fabulous hikes. If you look on my Instagram use like the list of hikes we've been doing but if you know anymore, I totally want to hear about them. Yeah, definitely need some more hikes of great views for the Fall colors. Yeah and some real climbs cuz a lot of the hikes in Southern Ontario, like we don't usually have mountain mountains the last how you could 70 vertical meters. And we're still laughing. And yeah, every time we go hiking I'm huffing and puffing and I feel like you're just humming along. That's just because I'm sucking wind behind the scenes every time you look away. I'm taking a deep breath. That's the trick. You you breathe through your behind, I guess so sure like that one did yeah. I kind of put me on the spot didn't know how to respond respond. You know today. We are going to be answering some of your questions with an OBGYN doctor and Nicole Williams and we are excited to introduce a new partner and podcast sponsor Cleo Vanna and Cleveland has developed a non-invasive technology to intensify and increase the frequency of orgasm and what they use is sound waves to stimulate the growth of new blood vessels and nerve endings and this results in increased sensitivity and responsiveness. So I'm looking forward to both having some questions answered and learning a little bit more about this and if you're interested you can learn more about Teavana.com or you can call +188-580-300-5134 joining us today is dr.

Emeka Menakaya joins Jess & Brandon to talk about how his studies in tantra have opened him up to improved relationships all around. He shares his insights on how cis men can be more vulnerable and open with one another and discusses his spiritual, emotional and sexual journey. Follow Emeka on Instagram & The Hustler's Corner Podcast on Instagram. The podcast episode is brought to you by Femtasy. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. I Love You, Man. Tantra, Emotional Expression & Opening Up 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Jasser podcast. I'm your co host Brandon where here with my lovely other half Dr Jess Hey. Hey. How's it going today? I'm good. How are you? I'm alright. I'm having a I'm having a day. I had I had such a great night last night because I saw a baby owl. I mean a tiny little baby our shorter than your fist bigger than my fist. But shorter than your fist, and this is maybe this comes you know I'm a city slicker I get it we live downtown. We give some context here. We don't live anywhere where you normally see our indefinitely not baby. They're so cute. So had this great night last night, but then I also. Made. The mistake of looking at facebook late at night, and of course, you know we tell people to digitally detox every night at the end of the night which I didn't do and a news article came up about A. Who had who passed away two years ago right now This week and he's been on my mind it's weird like I didn't really think about the Dayton it and I don't think I even commemorated the date in any way consciously. But subconsciously he's been on my mind and I brought him up to you a few days ago, and then this article came up that his death is suspicious and they posted pictures of people in the news that they were looking for in in his death and in a an associated robbery with his death. And I couldn't get the pictures out of my head of these people. So I stayed up all night. really couldn't fall asleep I probably did sleep for a couple of hours. So all that being said feeling tired and I feel anxious today and my anxieties been higher I wouldn't say I'm a particular like I wouldn't say I'm particularly anxious person but since some this big shift in in life and in the news and in what's going on in the world, I, felt a lot more anxious and as I feel more anxious I notice i. Feel. More frustrated like soul frustrated. So easily little tiny things that I would never. Ever be set off by are just pushing my buttons and I feel like the idea and frustration being connected, and also you know the stuff that's going on in the world You know obviously Kobe and then all the racist stuff and the awful news that that we're seeing and they just racial injustice being brought to the forefront obviously weighs heavily on me. It's you know this topic that I've been privately talking about with friends for so many years and that's been on my mind to I've been thinking about how this is like dear diary. I've been thinking about how? Over the years I've had all these different discussions and debates and I'd say arguments with friends with white friends about racial justice with about white fragility about white privilege...

Amira de Vera joins Jess on the podcast this week to share her experience after a breakup with a long term partner at the age of 34. They discuss how she went from lying on the floor crying to feeling happier than ever. Amira opens up to discuss: Overcoming the fear of starting over in your 30s How to identify what you really want in a partner and relationship Multiple approaches to getting over a tough breakup The importance of sitting in the pain and using pain to heal How to shift from focusing on others to focusing on yourself Getting over the idea that you must hit specific milestones by a specific age Breaking free of negative spirals Amira’s path to self-love The role of journaling, therapy, nature, friends, and creativity in healing The fallacy of someone “completing” you Follow Amira on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. Follow Project Four Public Relations on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. This episode is brought to you by Provacare. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Starting Over After A Breakup 00:00:05 - 00:05:20 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Pay Hey just a rally here your friendly neighborhood sexologist and I'm flying solo today without brandon but I will have a guest joining me in just a moment to share her story Amirah is going to talk to us about her recent break-up and her story is real and raw and really inspirational and interestingly I think what she has to tell us really aligns with what the research says about getting over a breakup and I also want. To answer a question related to this topic that somebody sent in about an extra cheated on them. But before I do a shadow to Provo care a brand I'm partnering with four pro. V. Talks on instagram be sure to follow them because their product uses probiotics to treat and prevent yeast and bacterial infections, and they're also working to create content and really community around overall sexual health vaginal health all that good stuff they are by Provo care. On instagram and you can find them in my profile as well in the show notes so. You know I'm excited to talk to Amira. But I I want to answer this question about how to get over an axe. Who Cheated, and you know this is a question that I get often because I think that you know cheating sexual infidelity, whatever you call it is is more common than we realize that the data puts it in the range of twenty, four percent. So about a quarter of all relationships, but that data only reflects people who are willing to admit to it. So the reality is. You know many of us have cheated and we want to admit it to ourselves. We've kind of told ourselves the story that we've erased that and people certainly move on after cheating either with the same partner with a new partner and so what I'd say to this person who who sent me this message is that first and foremost really give yourself permission. To feel. Sad or mad or scared, or insecure, ensure, or excited or embarrassed or hopeful that full range of emotions that you inevitably experience after a break-up because breakups are. Inevitably going to involve a period of grieving and the feelings of loss are not necessarily lightened or swayed by the fact that your ex cheat...

Andre Shakti joins Jess and Brandon to share their journey and story as a stripper, sex worker, educator and activist. They discuss: What Andre loves about stripping and what drew her into the strip club in the first place How to cultivate intimacy (in person and online) Strap-on strategies for beginners SANCTUARY, the virtual strip club How strippers connect with their clients on a more personal level How COVID and digital dates have changed connection for the better Creating community for sex workers Andre’s experience in the porn industry and prop 60 STI testing in the porn industry and what we can learn from The Bella Thorne OnlyFan debacle Follow Andre on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Also check out Andre's weekly advice column on non-monogamy, "I Am Poly(amorous) & So Can You!". Andre's image was shot by Tristan Crane. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Stripping, Strap-Ons, Porn & Digital Intimacy 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jeff. PODCASTS I'm your co host. Brandon we're here with my lovely other half. Dr Jess I'm failing lovely. You're looking lovely. Just throwing the compliments at you this morning. Yeah. Well, IT'S A. It's a weird time of the year because for most entrepreneurs and students and parents this feels like a new. Year. Yeah I usually struggle leading up to the day after Labor Day because it reminds me of going back to school which was a long time ago. and all of these sorts of feels right now. Yeah and for folks who go back to school at a different time of year in in. Toronto we've always gone back to school the day after Labor Day it's always been the way it is, and of course, this year is different because some kids aren't going back to school. Some are doing a blended hybrid type learning some have been postponed until next week because I guess the government's in the school boards couldn't agree on what would be safe for staff and students, and I would say about fifty fifty percent I'd say fifty fifty in terms of our friends. in terms of sending their kids back to school or keeping their kids at home. Yet and I mean, maybe people are gonNA. Think I'm a lot younger than I am now that I said that I'm nostalgic about going to school no no, one thinks here. Yeah. Thanks. Before we dive in today, I want to say a big. Thank you to Provo Care, which is a natural way to restore the healthy bacteria and normal Ph level required for a balanced vaginal ecosystem, and so it perfectly has been clinically proven to treat and prevent recurring yeast and bacterial infections, and you can check them out online provo care dot. Ca and you can I believe you can find them on Amazon as well. Now today, we're talking a whole lot of things. You're talking sex work online stripping, which to me feels very intimidating but I'm interested to learn more the porn and Industry Sti testing maybe some strap on sex. How about that sounds like a whole lot of interesting stuff and yes online stripping sounds like something that I would not be very good at would you strip for me? I would but I'm super conscious. I feel I feel ridiculous listen I can dance to the base not the trouble,

Emmy-award winning, Jeannie Mai, host of The Real, joins us to talk about love, relationships, and moving on via forgiveness. She is newly-engaged (to Jeezy), full of energy, good vibes and insights on: What it's like to live your life and share your love with millions of fans. How to build a happily-ever-after relationship. How to forgive family, friends and partner after heartache and trauma. The importance of creating a shared vision as a couple. Her personal formula for self-love. How her upbringing affects her relationships. How to better manage arguments and deal with triggers. Follow Jeannie on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. Also, be sure to check out her Youtube series, Hello Hunnay and podcast, Listen Hunnay! This podcast is brought to you by Femtasy. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Jeannie Mai On Forgiveness & Living Happily Ever After 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Just podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other have Dr Jess Hey. Hey. How's it going? Good Gin on digging the sound of Your Voice because I'm an audio person and folks who know my co Author Marlene? Stewart she talks about the fact that. You are learning style whether you're more of a visual learner or an audio learner or a kinesthetic learner affects your sexual and seduction style, and so people who learn better by listening and through words and through reading tend to be really Dronne to sounds and voices the pitch, the tone, the volume, the speed at which you speak and I'm I'm such an audio person I love the sound of your voice first of all. I I find it hot like I'm probably more attracted to people. Based on the way they talk than the way they look. You've always said that you've always said that the sound of someone's voice is the first thing that attracts you to somebody. It really is, and I recognize voices more than faces. I don't know if I've spoken about this here before but I have difficult difficulty recognizing faces so much so that I think I might be able to be diagnosed because I, really really struggle to recognize faces I, remember names I, remember details all even remember the sound of voice but I struggle with faces I've mistaken you for multiple people know I've I've mistaken other people for you in the past. So it's all about the voice for me. And so that makes me excited to bring on our new sponsor FEM to see. So Feminazi is this streaming platform that has short erotic audio stories and they're read by different voice I don't call them actors they read by different people, different themes they get into like setting the scene, but also into the raw sexual acts and yeah, I'm just I'm a fan a new fan of to see was really excited when they called because just voices do everything for me not just sexually but emotionally like even to help me relax the sound of your voice is really what does it and I wonder if it's been enhanced by the fact that for years. We were separated oftentimes because I was overseas for work and you you would talk to me on the phone and so I think that I found a lot of comfort in that but every night your use your voice?

Mother-son duo Karen Lee and Cam join Jess and Brandon to share their story of loss, love and podcasting. They chat about: Grieving the loss of Karen Lee’s husband and Cam’s dad How to have more sex-positive conversations How to date with confidence Cam’s dating struggles and stories How to be more vulnerable with your parents and children Leaning into the awkwardness of dating and talking about sex How Cam and Karen Lee came together and started this podcast How they dealt with the death of Cam’s father together How they get over the discomfort and were able to be vulnerable with one another How Cam as a young man brought more sensitivity to dating and sex Karen Lee's advice as a single woman, getting past the grief from her late husband Follow The Sex Talk With My Mom Podcast on Youtube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. This podcast is brought to you by Let’s Get Checked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex Talk With My Mom: Cougars, Confidence & Grieving The Loss of a Spouse 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex, with Dr, Jeff Podcast I'm your co host Brandon wear here with my lovely other half. Dr Jess, how you doing good. Let's see how lovely. When's the last time you talked about sex with your mom? Nineteen Ninety Four Sixteen Probably what did they talk about? I've said this before it was a one liner don't come home with a kid. And I also went to a Catholic school even though I'm not Catholic and we've learned about the rhythm method. And abstinence what did you learn about the rhythm method? I don't remember very much which is scary and they just said I mean especially time. To your partners or you know the the person with whom you having sex time there period which essentially. Kind of erodes away any sort of hookup culture or anything like that also. Requires. Quite a bit of communication to understand your partners period. I just wanted somebody to touch my junk. Did you get that no I mean if I count myself. Yeah. All the time but you're pretty good at it. Right? I was I thought I was excellent. So What if your mom came on the podcast you think she talked sex with us I think she would what would it be like? What would we talk about? I want to say that it would be awkward but I don't know how awkward it would be and I don't know what we would talk. We talk about our sex life. We certainly wouldn't talk about her sex life. Now that wouldn't be fair. Yeah I mean? I. Don't know how open my mom would be about having this conversation about what she hasn't hasn't done. Well, the reason I bring it up today we're going to be talking to the host of a podcast mom and son team their podcast. It's it does very well, it's called sex talk with my mom. So you're going to get to talk to mom about sex just not your mom about sex and not my mother. I'm cool. The one day as she get my mum on the PODCAST Lot's Giggling, she would giggle a lot a lot and then she'd talk and talk and talk and talk. We wouldn't give her headsets then she wouldn't be able to hear, right. Before. They join US I want to say thank you to. Let's get checked dot com.

Samia Burton, founder of Sexual Essentials, joins us to share her unique experience and insights as an unconventional sex educator. We discuss: Deep throat yoga-yawning Oral sex techniques Building up stamina How to body-roll like a pro Hands-on sex ed for adults Using fruit snacks to spice things up The dos and don’ts of DMing strangers: language, approach, tone and your elevator pitch Jump rope, donkey kicks & other exercises for better sex View this post on Instagram Let’s discuss something, how SOME of y’all treat us via DM is why we scowl in public & walk across the street when we see a group of men. SOME of y’all don’t make us feel safe. ⁣ ⁣ At some point it has to get TIRED trying to hit on every woman that you see⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ In the grocery store with a mask & folks legit just come up & are trying to get with you ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Yes I know what you’re going to say ‘but how do you think folks get together ..but a lot of relationships start like that’⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! But what’s present in those SUCCESSFUL outcomes is some indication that the person was interested and IF there was no indication the woman was able to let her guard down because she was approached with proper communication & no sexual undertones from a stranger! ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Idk about every woman but personally when I see someone that strikes my eye for whatever reason there is a eye catch that stays just a little too long and right there in that split second a guy knows aye she saw me too...but she walks to pump her gas she watching over her shoulder staying safe and you just coming to the pump in her personal space not even offering to pump the gas (as you see I did not say PAY) and saying Hey Ma you got a man with absolutely no thought outside of just laying eyes on her ... the shit is TIRED and wayyyy too many men do it. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Don’t be that guy that hits on every woman he SEES and if you are make it original & stop mentioning sex ANYTHING in a Effing DM. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Women are being attacked, stalked, murdered every Effing day Do SOMETHING to make her feel safe not make her feel like this is a effing creep. Because i assure you asking her for sex is not the way. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And for the dumbass that’s going to say ‘well you’re a sex page he probably thought that was ok’ JUST STOP. If I sold sex I would SAY SO. But I don’t and me discussing sex does not give any person a RIGHT to speak to me any type of way. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Telling women that you DONT KNOW that you would eff the shit out of them is NOT OKAY. Because clearly you don’t know her all we think is RAPE !!! do not be that guy. I would hate to have to put some hot shit in somebody son because of this simple shit. A post shared by Sexual Essentials LLC (@sexualessentials) on Aug 11, 2020 at 7:40am PDT Follow Sexual Essentials on Instagram and Facebook. The podcast is brought to you by Provacare. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Top Tips for Oral Sex, Riding & Sliding Into DMs With Grace 00:00:05 - 00:05:11 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half Dr Jess Hey. Hey It's early mornings today very early. Yes.

Sexologist Shamyra is back and she’s here to share her knowledge and thoughts on Cardi B’s WAP and so much more including: Mysogynoir Pick Me culture What “Big D” really means What we can learn from song lyrics How music videos can motivate (or empower) us to be better & live better Lube-shaming Small penises Sexual double standards The orgasm gap Sexuality & race Sex work as real work! Follow Shamyra on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram! Check out the WAP music video below... This podcast is brought to you by Let’s Get Checked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. WAP: Wet AP & How To Be Your Best Sexual Self 00:00:05 - 00:05:28 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey Hey. This is just so Riley your friendly neighborhood sexologist here with another friendly neighborhood sexologist all the way from Baton Rouge Louisiana sexologist Shemaya, how you doing today power you good I'm a I'm following along with your adventures. You've been online on I g talking about all the hottest topics including the I. Don't know if we should say rap or WABC by the wet ask Pussy video and song by our Cardi B. Featuring Meghan the stallion and I see that you. You just put a video on your instagram and it's gaining a lot of traction. Let people know where to find you on instagram first and foremost because they should be following along. Yes. I'm on Instagram at sexologists shown Myra. Yeah. We're gonNA link to that. Now before we dive into this conversation, I wanNA, give a quick shout out to our sponsor. Let's get checked to dot com. So let's get checked offers at home health tests ranging from thyroid to iron to CEAC test lime disease tests, of course, ovarian reserve tests for tippety tests, and all that jazz they send you the test you send them a sample and you get your results confidentially on line. Are you familiar with them Chamara? I'm not I am not I was thinking that it would be good for people who are maybe a little bit more remote you know to test for anything like from from Cortisol, to all the various sexual health tests. So that's, let's get checked dot com. If you go there folks please use code Dr Gesture to save a few dollars and let them know that you heard about it here. So Chamara, let's let's talk. Cardi. B.'s or you Cardi B. Fan. So I think everyone face. So when she came when she first I'll tell you what my husband. Really Loves Cardi B. Like he loves Cardi B.'s music. So she first came out I really enjoyed her her debut album. And in terms of this W. A. P. Video. So folks if you haven't heard the song, we'll play a little clip for you. But. Also, if you haven't seen the video, you have to go watch the video. Now there's a censored version and an uncensored version definitely watch the uncensored version. So, what do you think about the video the lyrics all all the fun stuff. Oh I think so much about it, I right so I. Listen to it about seventy two times. Just to make sure it was actually when I was hearing. So I actually heard the lyrics in saw the video at the same time. So of course, I was scrolling on Instagram and I saw that Cardi B. posted graphic with she and Megan the stallion who's als...

We’ve compiled some of your questions for Brandon and he weighs in sharing his personal experiences in response to the following: You’ve opened up about some heavy feelings on the podcast and talked about the benefits of being more vulnerable. How can I get my boyfriend to open up and be more vulnerable? My husband is often too tired for sex. When we have it, he’s full of energy, but I feel like he says no at least 50% of the time. Should I be worried? Last week, you said you have no game and that you would never have gotten together with Jess if it had been up to you. I don’t want to let my moment pass me by, so how do I work on my game and my confidence. You’ve also talked about how your confidence has increased over time, so any tips would help. My GF listens to your podcast and follows Dr. Jess. She wants to follow in her footsteps, but the idea of her talking about sex with strangers and travelling all around the world doesn’t feel great for me. I don’t want to hold her back. How do I get over it? Can you explain why men want to have anal sex so badly? Like what’s the appeal? You talked about a toy called the Pivot, but you didn’t describe what it feels like. Can you elaborate? How curious are you about Jess’ past? I know you’ve been together a while, but lately I’m more curious about my wife’s past and specifically why she had one night stands. Should I be so curious or just get over it? If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Brandon Answers Your Sex & Relationship Questions 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr, Jess podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey Hey your friendly neighborhood sexologist here. Jessica. Riley. With my lovely other have brandon wear are looked locally. Feel so good you can. You can tell I was mocking you I know you were mocking me but I'm GonNa roll with it listen babe. This episode is all about you finally if it's the Brandon episode. Because nothing's ever about me. I'm just going to hand over the MIC to you go. I'm GONNA pull my candid Silence so I receive many questions for the podcast from listeners and many folks are curious about you brandon and what your perspective so I've been compiling some of the questions directed at you. He shaking his head through people don't want to know what's going on inside my mind. They do frightening in their people. Let me be clear I get questions for you. I, never get criticism level that you always at me. Here we go. This is your debut. Debut. Here we. So, let's dive right in. This person asks how curious are you about justice past I know you've been together a while but lately, I'm more curious about my wife's past and specifically why she had one night stands I don't care what the sex was like. I just WanNa know why she had them. Should I be so curious or just get over it. I am curious about your past only about your experiences I am not curious about how many partners. How good or bad it was I mean I'm open to listening but I I'm not really that interested. In it. It wasn't that interesting either was not well, it could have been listen I think when we first got together and I was a lot younger I was uncomfortable with the idea.

Jess is Chinese-Jamaican-Irish-Canadian. Brandon is Canadian of British descent. Race and culture have always been central topics in our relationship and this week, we’re sharing our perspective as a mixed-race couple. We don’t speak for anyone but ourselves, but we hope this conversation leads to more meaningful ones in your own relationships. We discuss: Jess’ mixed race experience and expectations as a model minority The importance of creating safe spaces for your partner in mixed-race relationships How to deal with family members’ blatant and subtle racism 5 insights for white folks looking to support POC in relationships To learn more about how you can navigate difficult conversations about race, check out Jess' interview on Global TV's The Morning Show here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Navigating Interracial Relationships: One Couples Experience 00:00:05 - 00:05:07 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jasser podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half. Hey, doing today babe. I'm good. How are you? Feeling good. We had a weekend away in our nation's capital. A lot of people who aren't Canadian don't know that our capital is Ottawa. They either think it's Toronto or as non-canadians say Montreal. More. Real Montreal. But your nation capital nation's capital Ottawa is Ottawa and we were in town for the weekend enjoying the city mostly enjoying one of the parks nearby Gatineau Park, we did a number of big hyphen and went swimming and paddle boarding. So I'm feeling pretty good to have gotten out of the city. Agree weekend. It was a beautiful city. Access to parks the downtown core not so busy knows quiet. Yeah it was. It was very, very quiet. It's it's a pretty city. They have all the old beautiful parliament buildings in the old. Library, and Supreme, court of Canada and all those things but it is a it's a smaller city even though it's our nation's capital. Yes I would agree but at the real advantage and what makes me so drawn to it even over the course of the weekend I kept saying I think I. Could live in Ottawa is the fact that their fifteen minutes from getting know park, which is fabulous for hiking and skiing and swimming, and exploring and all that jazz. This is my second time and get to know this year I mean I never go there but I had a GIG this year in February and went on some winter hikes but it was nice to be back with you. You do on those winter hikes. Amazing. Yeah. Really. What do you mean because it's it could be. I'm trying to think of the conversion of temperatures it could be sixty, five degrees and. And you're freaking out about how you're freezing cold. It's the coldest day of your life. I know it was much colder than sixty five. It was all snowy when I was there we're talking back in February generally I'm a human heating machine rarely I cold or at least I, think rarely no enjoyed the winter hike you were always cold. So I'm surprised that you felt okay you know what it was I was in town just for the day basically and I I when I'm traveling for work member those long days I remember seems like so long ago when I'm traveling for Work I. was like to do something fun.

This week, Jess teams up with April Lampert and Amy Baldwin from the Shameless Sex Podcast to tackle listener questions including: 1. How can I deal with sensitive genitals (e.g. labia)? 2. How can I make sex less threatening after sexual assault? How do I talk to a new partner about past trauma? 3. What should I do about labia hypertrophy and how do I get more comfortable with my body? 4. How do I get over body shame related to things my ex said to berate my body? 5. I hear so much about eye contact as a tool of flirtation and connection. How else can I flirt without using my eyes since I’m almost blind? 6. How do Canadians pronounce the word about? ;) Follow the Shameless Sex Podcast on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Let’s Get Checked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dealing with Trauma, Learning to Love Your Body & Flirtation Techniques 00:00:05 - 00:05:07 You're listening to the sacs with Dr, Jess, podcast, sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Hey hope you're having a great day. A great wherever you're at, I'm without my partner in Crime Brandon today he had to run off, but we're doing something just a little bit different. Because the other day I sat down well, I called in because it's cova times and chatted with some new friends Amy Baldwin and April lampert over at the shameless sex podcast. Now you may be familiar with them if you're not. You're about to become acquainted because we are taking your sex and relationship questions and collaborating to answer some of these out. Amy is sex and relationship coach. April educates people about sexual pleasure, health and wellness, and it's always interesting. To hear other people's perspectives and collaborate, and of course, three minds are much much better than one, and so. That's what we're going to be sharing with you today now before we pull up that that interview that conversation I wanNA show at checked. If you're looking for any tests in the health field that you can do at home whether it's fertility tests, thyroid tests, Cortisol Kidney Celia cholesterol, testosterone liver kidney I said that all of all of these options checkout. Let's get check dot com, and please use code Doctor Jess to save twenty percent at checkout and also make sure they know that. You heard about them here on the sex with Dr Jess podcast so without further ado. What we're GONNA. Do now is launch into the conversation that I had with. Amy, April and here we go I. Hope you enjoy it. What we're here to do. Today is to bring to podcasts together to answer some of your sex questions. We have some sex questions over here. We get them. All the time got every day I. Feel we get more and more questions. And then Jess has some as well for her listeners, and and and this is a wonderful opportunity to learn just can you just tell our listeners and your listeners? Of probably we heard this? If this is going on your podcast there's a little bit how you got to be where you are today. Sure share. Yes, so I was a high school teacher and I had all my students coming. Coming to me with all of these issues related to Saxon relationships whether it was abusive. Relationships are unplanned pregnancy, or as is,

Sexual pain is not in your head. Dr. Sonia Bahlani, founder of PelvicPainDoc.com and author of The Holistic Guide to Navigating Pelvic Pain joins us to answer so many questions including: How do I deal with painful orgasms? It feels like the head of my penis is being pushed through broken glass. How do my bowel movements and constipation affect sexual functioning & orgasm? How can an anti-inflammatory diet improve sex? How can yoga improve sexual functioning and pelvic floor tone? Why does sex hurt? Why don’t I feel anything during sex? Are there injections, creams or medicines that can help with pelvic pain? Dr. Sonia also discusses why preventative medicine is essential to sexual health, various diagnoses related to sexual pain and how holistic approaches can revolutionize your (sex) life. Also be sure to listen to our episode on pelvic floor health, postpartum sex, perineal massage and de-stressing your vagina. Follow Dr. Sonia Bahlani on Instagram and Facebook. This episode is brought to you by Womanizer. Use code DRJESS for a small discount at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Painful Sex Is NOT In Your Head: Holistic Solutions From a Pelvic Pain Doc 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast, sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. How's it going? I'm hanging in there. How about you? Much the same. Yes, the same, still a lot of weirdness going on with the changes to the schedule acclimatising to the norm completely zoom meeting. Are you. It's a thing. It, I'm totally exhausted I. started doing what you've suggested. which is turn off the video? If you can. Yeah there's this pressure to have video on actually I was on a conference call the other day, and while other people were talking I turned off my video and I got called out for it, they said. Are you still there? Yeah, I'm still here. I just felt like having my video off I. Don't always want people looking at me and you know what I'm distracted by myself. In Real, no, of course you'd like. You're looking at yourself, so you looking at yourself as other people are looking at you. And Yeah. You need a break from it for sure and we've talked about this and there's research on how exhausting video calls can be. How much more exhausting they can be than in person meetings so? One thing I'm noticing that folks are consistently requesting zoom calls when in fact, these could easily be phone or emails. Yeah the the the effectiveness of a very concise email I said that last week to a gentleman, he requested amino acid. Can we just have a phone call? And it was fine and it works out. They don't see your face. I mean be honest. You just don't do your hair. Completely one hundred percent Brennan's hair was out of control for a while there three and a half months with a haircut news, looking pretty pretty wild treat. My neighbors kept calling you different names like I don't know if they were actors or Singers or something, but we're so much younger that I had no clue who they were talking about. Did you know the names they were calling? You know I thought I kind of looked like sideshow.

Urologist and sexual wellness expert Dr. Jed Kaminetsky joins us to talk about all things sex including: Multiple approaches to lasting longer in bed The role or testosterone in sexual desire and functioning Orgasm difficulties Premature ejaculation Delayed orgasm The role of muscle memory and neuropathways in orgasm Promescent (Use code JESS15 at checkout for 15% off!) Follow Dr. Jed Kaminetsky and University Urology on Instagram. Not everyone wants to last longer in bed, but if you’re interested in learning more about ejaculatory control, check out our Last Longer in Bed: 6 Steps to Master Premature Ejaculation course which includes exercises in mindfulness, muscle mastery and communication. This podcast is brought to you by Let’s Get Checked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Testosterone, Muscle Memory & Lasting Longer in Bed 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr, Jess, podcast, sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Chess podcast I'm your co Host Brandon? Where here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. How you doing I'm hanging in there. Seems to be the trend lately. Yeah, doing pretty well, actually so today we're going to be talking about lasting longer in bed seems like it's the topic on many men's mind. Yeah, and so many women as well people of all genders and I hear from women who have sex with men I hear split. Some of them complained that their partners don't last long enough. And some of them complained that their partners last too long. We're GONNA. Talk about that as well. It's very interesting to hear because I remember growing up that the thing was. You need to last long. It's never. Focus on her pleasure or your partner's pleasure. You learn growing up. No I was saying I didn't if I said that I meant the opposite, it was like we didn't learn about that. We learned about the idea that you should just last a long time because that was what you needed to do. And that's what you saw in porn. You saw these videos. People lasted forty five minutes and you watch porn for forty five minutes. No I didn't. I knew that there were forty five minute long porn videos we're done with. The listen I watched the squiggly late at night. You needed late thirty seconds and a half boob. So. was there pressure when you think about early on in your? In your sex life. Is there pressure to last longer? You embarrassed if you didn't did you talk about? It certainly did not talk about it with my first few partners I. Remember the first time that I ever had sex that I was embarrassed after because it was not my most memorable performance and you know open book Brandon here. Disclosing all the details I remember feeling embarrassed after because it wasn't what I had. had seen on the videos, or at least my performance was, and so I was performance well I. Mean You mean by that performance I? Just mean how long I lasted and what I did, and and no I I mean listen. It was a short initial experience and I remember thinking feeling embarrassed, being around my partners friends after because I thought to myself if she had said something to them. Wow, that was not. At all what it was supposed to be now, I remember and I'm not just saying this to redeem...

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin helps Jess and Brandon to explore their sex personality types and how we can use them to better understand our own needs and our partners’. The 11 sex personality types include: The Explorer : sex is your playground, the element of unknown The Prioritizer: to know that sex is something you and your partner are willing to prioritize The Decompresser: sex is a form of stress relief The Fair Trader: generosity is the most important quality of sex, balance of giving and receiving The Giver: sex and pleasure is a gift to give to their partner The Guardian: safety and security is of the utmost importance during sex The Passion Pursuer: you want sex to feel all encompassing, losing yourself in the moment and letting go The Pleasure Seeker: the pure physical pleasure to sex The Romantic: sex is all about connection, emotional intimacy with your partner The Spiritualist: a way to connect to a higher purpose, sex feeling like a transcendent experience The Thrill Seeker: taboo or forbidden element to sex, this can contrast with the explorer They also discuss learning to orgasm, communication and the many dimensions of sexual fulfilment. Follow Vanessa on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram! This podcast is brought to you by Let’s Get Checked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The 11 Sex Personality Types 00:00:05 - 00:05:08 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr, podcasts. I'm your Co Host Brandon? We're here with my lovely other half. Dr Jess how you doing? Amazing amazing was that. Last. Good life is good. Not, as good, as it was a couple of months ago, but it's good, no so healthy still here, still feeling good. We're going to be talking about sexual personality types today. How would you describe my sexual personality? Adventurous. Wanting Pleasure wanting an orgasm. Yes, greedy. Yes, thank you and me you. You, you're give her. Which is nice, but also can be annoying. Yes and we've had that conversation before. You didn't say annoying for Mine I don't know why I was just thinking of annoying always ends well. How are you in bed? You're annoying. Do I know you in bed? No, you don't annoy. Tap on your shoulder while you're sleeping. TAP stuff the. Yield On your flap of skin. There you go, thank you. Yeah, I would say. You're very open. Okay and I would also say that you. I don't know the the adjective for it, but you. You push through sort of like even if if it doesn't work out in the first five seconds, you kind of work at it. Does that like I don't WanNa? Say. How do I say it? Listen I'm struggling here but I. think that you put a lot of effort into it. We've been there before where you have not been in the mood or perhaps been in the mood initially and then fallen out of the mood and. It's not working. Or You? Haven't said anything. I'm not into this anymore so I do think that I'll make a second or third effort. To try and get us there so now we've broadly and kind of Messily described care, sexual personality types, but Now. Let's figure out what our actual sexual personality types are before we invite our guests on to join US I.

Antuanette Gomez, CEO of Pleasure Peaks joins Jess & Brandon to talk about sex and cannabis. Pleasure Peaks is a sexual health company that develops products for women to have an optimal and healthy sex and this week, we discuss: How cannabis can be used to assuage pain and symptoms related to Endometriosis, PCOS, trauma, infertility, and menstrual pain Topical uses of non-psychotropic cannabis products Cannabis baths CBD vs THC Cannabis as a superfood The role of our endocannabinoid system How cannabis suppositories have been used to treat endometriosis Pleasure Island retreats Strain journaling Advice for newbies Her role as a young WOC in a now white-dominated field Follow Antuanette on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook. The podcast is brought to you by Womanizer. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Cannabis, Endometriosis & Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:50 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Ex Dr Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon wear here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess Hey, hey, how's it going awesome? We're going to be talking about sex and cannabis today. Yeah I've had some experiences with cannabis. And sex or just can't. This, just no I mean with both but my experiences cannabis have been. Up and down back and forth. For a while, it was for a while. It was great and it wasn't once. Since, then it has not existed here of staining I have abstained for over a decade. Has it been a decade been over? Ten or twelve years. Since that fateful night since that night while yeah, that was that was not great for me. Do you remember when we used to enjoy Friday nights a little bit of cannabis and a lot of sour candies, chocolates kraft dinner and chips and I would get upset if I didn't get all four of my food groups. Engage in some cannabis consumption, and then you would send me and a good friend over to the store to load up on. All of those goodies and it was great walking over there. I'm sure we look like a couple of fools. Do you remember on sex while we were high? Not at all? No, no, not really I remember. It was great. I remember a few times where it went on and on and on and on and I'm sure it didn't. Complaints No, no, it wasn't it. Sorry, did I say it that way. No actually. It wasn't I mean I have no problem complaining. For those of you behind the scenes. She lets me know when it doesn't work totally. Not Working. The, I remember feeling like this one experience just lasted and lasted and lasted and the I. We're going to be talking about things a little bit more. I think interesting and complex than our recreational, totally civilian use and I'm curious about what can be used now. That doesn't necessarily result in that psychotropic effect right, though because it's not just about getting high there, so many of the benefits exactly and so our guest is the expert in that will will leave that. That to her, and before we welcome her on, I want to say thanks to womanizer and encourage folks to check out the womanizer premium, so even if you don't love the name, this toy is incredible. It's what we call pleasure air technology people describe it as a section toy, but it's not a section. It's got this little loop this little opening that go...

Marla & Jess wrote a book, The Ultimate Guide to Foreplay & Seduction! They’re having a virtual launch party to celebrate: Wednesday, June 24th at 7pm EST. Register to attend for free! In this week’s episode, Jess and Marla chat about their book launch as well as: Marla’s thoughts on BLM Pleasure as resistance Sex Down South What makes us seductive How we entice our lovers How we manage rejection They work their way through one of the Lovers’ Inquiries in the book and encourage you to consider these questions/discussions prompts too: What is the most seductive thing about you? What have other people told you about your sex appeal? What do they say turns them on when it comes to your personality, behaviour or appearance? What makes you anti-seductive? Would you like to change anything about your behaviour or approach? What do people find curious about you? How do you entice others to be curious about you? Do you consider yourself open-minded? Is there anything you would like to work on when it comes to keeping an open mind? How do you handle rejection? How did you respond the last time you faced rejection (not limited to sex)? Do you want to adjust the way you think or behave moving forward? Do you tend to take things personally? What might you do differently in the future? Do you find that you are present and mindful when you spend time with your lover(s) or on your own? What helps you to stay in the moment? What detracts you from being mindful and present? And a special thanks to our sponsors: Good for Her, Naughty in N'Awlins, Charis Books & More, We-Vibe, Womanizer, Macton Housing Group & Astroglide! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: An Exercise for Singles and Couples 00:00:05 - 00:05:07 You're listening to the sacs with Dr. Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Hey Welcome to the sex with Dr Jazz podcast Jess Riley here without my regular co-pilot, brandon wear, but just as fabulous I won't say better because Brennan might listen to this this podcast, but just as fabulous I have with me today via distance Marla Renee Stewart of fabulous professional sexologists, intimacy, relationships, sex, coach, speaker, and author, and she is the CO founder of sex down South which we'll talk about, but also the CO author of our most recent book, the ultimate guide to seduction and four play. MARLA thanks so much for chatting with me. Yes thank you so much for having me here. It makes cited to be here again. Incited to talk to you and you and I have been on a ton of podcasts promoting our book, but we haven't really sat down together and talked about it. No No, we've sat down and talked about other things. Yes met many things as of late, so I mean I should ask how you're doing right now. I know there's a lot of stuff going on in the world, a lot of heavy emotions being processed and oftentimes I think people want a separate sex as this mechanical or light or purely pleasure base topic from the political, but sexuality is highly political. Yeah? It's so interesting because you know. This is my life's work and I always believed that the personal is political.

Marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis joins us to talk about X-Men, therapy, vulnerability and emptying the jug. She helps us to explore the following questions: How can the “emptying the jug” approach lead to more fulfilling relationships? How can we even begin to open up and let our guard down? What language can we use if we’re new to opening up and letting others in? How can empathy transform experiences? How is self-esteem tied to vulnerability? What does it mean to be vulnerable — the good and the bad? How can distraction be useful when dealing with difficult experiences? How can we improve communication around challenging topics? How can we open up and be more open to being emotionally impacted? Follow Shadeen on Twitter and Instagram. This podcast has been sponsored by Let'sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Empathy Is A Superpower: How to Cultivate Trust, Have More Fulfilling Relationships & Work Through Trauma 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast I'm your co host, Brandon wear here with my lovely partner Dr Jess Hey. Hey, now before we get started, I want to show our sponsor. Let's get checked. Use Code, Dr Justice Save on at home. STI testing hormone testing, other health tests go to let's get checked. Dot Com, and please enter code Dr. Justice Save and let them know that you learned about them here. Now today we are joined by Shea Dean Francis, marriage and family therapists with a specialty in sex therapy and social justice sheer to talk about her work, and how you can learned open up and be more vulnerable, and how this can improve your relationships and change your life welcomed. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me now. You Are Toronto. Born like me. You are a transplant and you're. You're in Philly now. So what brought you into the field of sex therapy So the short version of the story was that my original plan was to join the X men, and it. It felt like a reasonable extension. To then get really into the world of sex kind of my. My link was through Sue Johannesen Henson talk, sex with sue and I. Came across her work at a time when I was really realizing that there weren't open dialogue, there weren't places where people could go to have. These conversations and someone had called in to her show I was. This is probably the summer for seventh grade and as a pragmatic and realizing like shit, I might be enormity so my powers were not manifesting and I'm thinking payable. Let me have something working on in the meantime while I wait for my obvious mutant. to become apparent to everyone else. and someone called into her show and said thank you so much for your work. You saved my life. So my great I'll just do that like what whatever whatever it is. She's doing obviously is important. She was like waving around with a big purple, like but plug and I'm like okay well, whatever that is helps people so I should probably do that, so the X. men didn't call not yet, I'm I'm still hopeful and so you know if you're out there. Professor Clavier I'm ready. Superpower shown. Come forward,

Andrea Werhun, author of Modern Whore, joins Jess and Brandon to share her personal story as a sex worker, performer and author. She discusses her beautiful journey into sex work and how her work has shifted during physical distancing and isolation. They also discuss: What makes an escort enjoy the experience with a client How sex workers and their clients build trust and connection in their relationships Andrea’s Hire-A-Muse packages The coming out process and Andrea’s story of sharing her truth with her Mom & Dad How to be an ally to sex workers and how to be sex worker-positive Jess’ experience with sex workers at her first SAR Sex work as a healing profession The benefits of sex work Insights from sex work that can benefit all daters Stripping vs. Escorting and the whorearchy The importance of labour rights for sex workers Follow Andrea on Instagram & Twitter. Follow Modern Whore on Twitter & Facebook. This podcast has been sponsored by Let'sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Modern Whore: One Sex Workers Story & Insights 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. How's it going good? Good happy to be back chatting with you. I I know you you say you always feel nervous when we begin these podcast but feel way more relaxed after and I think we could both use that right now. Yeah I mean these are source of therapy for me. I hope you don't mind. I'm not paying you therapy session here. I don't think I'm the one therapist using you. Well it's it's It's it's self therapy then self therapy had just kind of talking about what's going on. Yeah it feels good to get it off. Your chest feels good. I mean especially for somebody who doesn't have a lot of relationships with people where I can open up the way that I do here with thousands and thousands of listening in today. I'm excited because we're going to be speaking with the author of modern. Hor and we need more sex workers on this podcast because if we're talking sex education if we're talking about relationships this is a big part of sexuality and often ignored often kind of treated as a footnote and. I think that many of us live in this world of an kind of a divide of US versus them right You know maybe we have interactions with sex workers in their professional capacity Maybe we have friends who are sex workers and we don't even realize it and they're new. There are many sex workers in my field who are educators and who are also therapist and hearing the stories of how stigma adversely affects their life their work. Their friendships is heartbreaking. But on the flip side. I think we're going to be having a conversation about the positivity about all of the wonderful outcomes of sex work and you know I I have always in my adult. Life regarded sex work. As and of course Wanted to support sex workers but I had a really enlightening moment when I did my very first SAR so SAR stands for a couple of things. But it back then. The course I took was called sexual attitude reassessment and in Sr you learn about old types o...

Wendy Miller, host of Sex Ed The Musical Podcast, joins us to discuss her experience as the former Head of Production with PlayboyTV. She shares stories from the Playboy set shoots as well as insights from the Under Covers series, which explored the real stories of women from all walks of life. They discuss PlayboyTV’s Swing, the toll TV representations can take on body image and their “Sexual Golden Tickets”. Listen now and learn more! Follow Wendy on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex Ed The Musical & Sexual Golden Tickets 00:00:05 - 00:05:11 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Pye. I'm your co host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other. Half Dr Jess Hey. Hey we are joined today by my friend. Wendy Miller and Wendy and I met working on playboy. Tv's swing and Wendy is the host of sex. Ed The musical the is just following you around. I've heard Wendy. I can't get away from it. No matter how hard I try so I think most people know the show swing but I'm sure there are listeners who don't I O was. This is how I describe it. And it's your your baby so you can correct me if I'm wrong but it's basically a reality show about a bunch of seniors living in a house and every weekend we'd bring a new couple who thought they might. WanNa try swinging and I'd introduce them to the group they'd have a little bit of fun overnight and then I'd come back and do some debriefing you know. Tv therapy with them to think I hit the mark. Did I miss anything? You absolutely the only thing you missed was a cock ring. Tossed one of our favorite item. We need to talk about your podcasts. So who met working on playboy you have worked for everyone from the all the big networks to Oprah and now you're still in television production correct. That is correct. I'm working for a another network right now which I don't want to talk about because It would be very scandalous but Suffice it to say I am still working in mainstream television. Yes yes and definitely not in anything to do with sex anymore. You're you're basically working at the opposite playboy flavored one hundred eighty degree different by the way. That's one of my favorite things that people get wrong when they say. Oh I've completely changed. I did a three sixty well then so I did at one eighty and I'm working at a place that is absolutely no sex whatsoever and that's totally fine But I'm still doing my podcast. Which is all about sex. And I'm podcast and just you probably Brennan you to. You probably encountered this a lot. People WanNa know am I normal? What is normal am I normal? Is this way my normal? Everybody's sort of judging themselves against this ideal of normal do you encounter that a lot. I definitely feel like People WanNa know what normal is and that goes without saying sex money relationship kids vacation you name it. Yeah everybody wants to be within the range of normal but at the top. If that makes sense well I think that a lot of people are worried that their choices their lifestyle. What they've experienced. You know what turns them on? Whatever is abnormal and they think that may be something wrong with them so I decided to do these series of episodes calle...

Therapist Todd Baratz joins Jess to discuss the costs and potential benefits of avoidance behaviours. He shares his thoughts on: The ways in which avoidance can be functional The stress and anxiety associated with sexual avoidance How to manage conflict avoidance The importance of conflict in relationships Specific strategies to break the avoidance cycle Follow Todd on Instagram here. Check out his podcast, Your Diagnonsense. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Your Diagnonsense: How to Break the Avoidance Cycle & Set Your Own Relationship Goals 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey Hey Jessica Rally here your friendly neighborhood sexologist and I'm here with psychotherapist todd. Barrett's you're in private practice in New York City you specialize in relationships and sex and I found you through your instagram page. So your instagram page is your diag- nonsense grand and it's full of gems. I I really admire people who are able to sink convey these really meaningful messages with takeaways in such a short amount of taxed. There's another therapist based in Austin Texas. Who's able to do the same atom our from Moon Tower counseling? Soy follow the both of you so excited to talk to you because I'm always green grabbing your stuff saying Oh man I need to ask him about this so happy to have you here. You just came back from Mexico City I did. I'm happy to be here to We've been deeming here in there And it's nice to finally meet you to be here with you to chat about this stuff so I'm super excited but yes just back from Mexico City Great City. Great Time what was the highlight. The highlight was definitely the food The food like literally everything I ate was so so effing good The pyramids are also super cool to Did you go and you have you been no. I've been to the Pyramids along the Mayan. It's a it's an hour trek outside the city. Yeah it's an hour. Wasn't that bad though. It went by pretty quick Especially because if you're driving around an area that you don't know it's Kinda Nice to look at everything The tour was kind of a bit long so I'm not a person it's like. Okay I've seen it like I'm done So it's a little bit longer but still super cool. So is the other highlight. Well I think we're on the same page. If the food was your highlight for sure. Mexico City is so good so good and you live in New York City. You live right down here in the meatpacking. So you've got everything at your fingertips and you still love Mexico City. Oh yeah totally. I mean the food and New York great to But it's also like five times as expensive And I think I had a six dollar croissant this morning. Yeah it's crazy which is like eight fifty Canadian. It's crazy it's just. Everything's so expensive everywhere. Toronto'S EXPENSIVE TO TORONTO is but at least we you know as an American coming in. You've got currently like thirty three percent bump on the dollar so at least a croissants three bucks. It's only like two fifty. I'm don't get me on my mouth. Okay but her numbers but what is? Your thing is giving practical advice around relationships that is grounded in data research base. Psychologically sound and you recently posted about avoidance and.

Messages related to sexual shame are ingrained from a young age and they affect how we feel about our bodies, how we interact with sexual partners and how we experience sexual pleasure. This week, we discuss a range of approaches to relinquishing sexual shame. Consent educator, survivor-turned-thriver and founder of CONSENTParenting, Rosalia Rivera joins Jess and Brandon to share her story and insights. They discuss: Rosalia’s personal path to recovery after assault Pleasure as a route to relinquishing sexual shame How partners can support survivors when they disclose past trauma/abuse The importance of your inner compass in recognizing sources of shame Prompt questions to help you examine shame-based beliefs including: What messages did you receive about sex from your parents? What did your parents tell you about sex with their words? What did your parents tell you about sex with their actions? How did your parents react to sexual depictions on TV? What messages did you receive about sex from your peers? What messages did you receive about sex from your teachers? What messages did you receive about sex from media sources? What messages did you receive about sex from your religion? Am I okay with these belief systems? What do I want to do differently for myself? What do I want to do differently for my kids? Follow CONSENTParenting on Instagram and Facebook. Listen to the AboutCONSENT Podcast here. This episode was brought to you by We-Vibe, use code DRJESS on their website for a small discount off your purchase. :) If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Overcome Sexual Shame 00:00:05 - 00:06:26 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely other? Half Dr Jess how are you? I'm pretty good. I'm happy sunshine in ready to talk about a rather serious topic very serious sexual shame and childhood sexual abuse and just the General Topic of relinquishing sexual. Shame and as usual. I'll put you on the spot. Would you say you were raised with shame around sexuality? I wouldn't say that there was shame but there was certainly a lot of communication around sexuality as I. I remember learning about sex in anatomy in junior school from a bunch of my friends who had like a dictionary with a naked man and woman was like what. How do you think you are probably around? Eight seven or eight. And then. From that point onwards there wasn't really much said in my household probably because of discomfort. Either that or just don't remember anything from when I was a kid and then when I was in high school my parents said and I'm not faulting them because of their own perhaps Discomfort maybe or maybe once again I don't remember just don't come home with the kid. There wasn't really talk about a lot of discussion about sex and sexuality sort of like my parents said. Do not bring a dog home. Yeah so human. Don't you dare bring a dog home. Does the Chinese side the Jamaican side and my Dad's side He. He's not so comfortable with animals. But that's so broad to don't come home with a child because there is no directive of how you might come home with a child o...

Pelvic floor physiotherapist, Kate Roddy, joins Jess to answer questions and share advice for keeping your pelvic floor as healthy as possible. They discuss: How to destress your vagina How to protect your pelvic floor while lifting weights and working out The forms of incontinence and how to manage them Why you don’t have to settle for peeing when you laugh How to do a proper kegel How to differentiate between pain and discomfort The Power of the Kegel Release Curve How to find the back end of the clitoris Safe vaginal & perineal massage (especially postpartum) Symptoms of an unhealthy pelvic floor The 4th trimester Follow Kate on Instagram. To learn more about the Kegel Release Curve, check out their Instagram and website. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Pelvic Floor Health: Perineal Massage, Postpartum, Peeing & De-Stressing Your Vagina 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey just Morelli here and I am with Kate. Roddy of sports and Pelvic physiotherapist. You have just released a new pelvic wand called the Kegalle release curve. Wiz that mean Kegalle release so I think Kiko releases. We are trying to release. Our Kiko muscles are muscles. There's just the pelvic floor Pelvic floor consists of a whole bunch of muscles and for probably eighty years. Now we just keep getting told to our key goals and we know so much more about those muscles and knowing that we need to release them where probably overly stressed down. There are vaginas are stressed just like any other part of our body because its muscles so most people should perhaps not be doing eagles. Most people need to check in with what their vagina needs. And even within a certain week they may need different things. So if you are very stressed your vaginas probably stressed as well because those muscles respond to stress whether it's mental or physical and they're going to protect and guard just like any other body parts so we will always guard our most intimate or stronger than anywhere else. So if you're stressed good chance you're China's stressed and we want to release those muscles like anything so you're probably tensing up and almost doing permanent. Kegalle as out of fair way to put it for lay people like me absolutely absolutely so tension is a contraction right. It's it's the muscle contracting on itself and if it doesn't let go then it's just holding on all the time and then you don't really have a lot more capacity for those muscles to work when you need them so for example if I am really tense and so I'm in a state of contraction almost like I'm doing Akigal though not consciously when I laugh will I P because my muscles too tired it absolutely. If women are having experiences with these accidental leaks so sneeze laugh. They go to lift something heavy. Even the jump or running those are all forms of incontinence and we call that stress incontinence right. So there's an external factor that acts on our body that makes us have a little bit more pressure in our intra abdominal cavity. Which just means our our stomach area and that pushes down on our pelvic floor. If we're to tents from sort of everything else going on in our lives the pelvic floor has ...

Jess & Brandon try one of the “Lovers Inquiries” from her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay co-authored by Marla Renee Stewart. They discuss ways to eroticize daily interactions within the context of a busy lifestyle and work through the prompts in the “Why do I love you again?” activity. Have a listen and try it out yourself using these prompts to guide you: What was the first thing you noticed about your lover? What first attracted you to your lover? On your first date, what excited you most? On your first date, what made you nervous? Do you remember the first time you kissed? What was it like? Do you remember the first time you had sex? What was it like? What is one awkward intimate moment you wouldn’t want to relive, but are able to laugh about now? Can you remember the wildest/hottest sex you ever had? What made it so memorable? How has your partner changed for the better since you first met? And if you’re in the market for a new toy for your bedside drawer, use code DRJESS at Womanizer.com and WeVibe.com to save a few $. To learn more about Erosscia, the adult toy that was mentioned during this podcast, click here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. A Conversation for Lovers 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely other half Dr Jess? How's it going? I'm good. How are you? I'm hanging in there? I have good days bad days these days. I feel like I have good hours. Sobat hours. Yeah I think that's the way it goes during this whole lockdown or semi lockdown pandemic. Yeah it's It's interesting because you can hear in people's voices that were just more emotionally exhausted. Yea I feel that way for sure and I think the people that I work with feel the same way too and sometimes unwilling to admit to how they're feeling like people that are generally very positive. It's hard to get on the phone with somebody. How are you doing? Oh I'm great and for it to sound real. Yeah I think that's a struggle for me because I'm like always up always is always positive. Always happy every day. I wake up and I'm like oh I love life and I don't mean to be that way but these days I'm waking up and I'm like I don't really want to engage engage today as I walk up the stairs with your coffee. I know that is what is keeping me keeping me happy. Yeah so again. We talked about this before. There's this feeling of being really conflicted where we know how lucky we are. But we're still super frustrated and you and I were chatting about where we'd want to travel when this is all over and and again that's just like such a massive privilege to even get to think about that but I was saying to you. There's no where I WANNA go specifically. I JUST WANNA work. I WanNa go where I was supposed to go to work and in May I was so lucky that I was going all over Europe in in Romania in Portugal and Spain and elsewhere and so those are all canceled and I get it of course not you know not a victim in this but I just want to work again. I just wanted to do what I normally do. And it's weird to do it over zoom. Yeah it it.

Let’s talk about food and sex and dismantle diet culture. Food and sex have so much in common and so many of us (Jess included) consider food an important component of our core love languages. Lisa Davis, author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex: Sensual Superfoods and Aphrodisiac Practices for Ultimate Sexual Health and Connection, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss the ways in which the foods we eat affect our sex lives. We discuss: What foods have been shown to benefit sexual health? Why you may not want to “ditch” foods, but rather focus on new additions How diet affects metabolism How to rice cauliflower How diet can affect erectile dys(function) The power of flavonoids The concept of “cheat days" Follow Lisa on Instagram. If you want to learn more about her book or podcast, click here. Listen to Lisa's Podcast, Talk Healthy Today, here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record0 your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Good Sex Diet 00:00:05 - 00:00:20 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 00:00:21- 00:00:27 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely partner, Dr Jess. 00:00:28- 00:00:33 Hey! Hey! Happy to be here today. We're gonna be talking about my favourite topic. 00:00:34- 00:00:35 Dogs? 00:00:35- 00:00:36 No and not sex either. 00:00:36- 00:00:37 No? 00:00:37- 00:00:39 Food. 00:00:39- 00:00:40 That's very true. It is your favourite topic. 00:00:41- 00:00:49 It is and we are joined by author of clean eating, dirty sex. Lisa Davis. Lisa, Thanks for being here. 00:00:50- 00:00:52 Oh, thank you so much for having me. 00:00:52- 00:01:06 Now, your latest book is part memoir; part lifestyle guide; part cookbook. It's about clean eating and dirty sex. I like... I think I like both of those things. Sometimes, I like to eat dirty as well but tell me what made you write this book in the first place. 00:00:52- 00:02:25 Well, I wanted to write about something that I could relate to and I should point out that the book is not about dirty sex. I. It It really is just a play up the word clean. And I was really hoping that would come across. But it's funny. There's so many people who are like I don't. I'm not into that. I'm like well it's just a pun but the book is so about improving your sexual health so, when I was growing up I ate dirty just mentioned dirty eating a moment ago. I mean I hit girl scout cookies and I would eat as much junk food as possible. My friend's house because my grandma was a health food nut. She passed it down to my mom and I just really struggled to eat well for a while. Uh... And so I wanted to talk about something that I struggled with and then I also had an unhealthy relationship with sex. Uh... I was awkward girl who can ever get a date and I was skinny and uncoordinated and not only was I pick last in gym but, they fought over who got stuck with me. And I went to school with the same kids from when I was six till I was eighteen. So it's like you you get you know how you get boxed in and you're always seen a certain way and so I- internalize that and then at eighteen. I suddenly had like a really nice figure out of nowhere and I started dating and sleeping around ...

Do you avoid or lean into conflict? Do you fight to win or fight to understand? Do you speak up when you’re unhappy? This week, CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke of Thrive! Inc. join Jess and Brandon to talk about the upside of conflict. They discuss: How to start difficult conversations Three questions to ask yourself when you’re fighting (or about to engage in conflict) How to cultivate better listening skills Why you don’t always need to arrive at compromise or a resolution The challenge of emotional differentiation The connection between conflict and passion The 5-5-5 approach to tackling tough topics Follow CrisMarie & Susan on Instagram and Facebook. Check out their books, The Beauty of Conflict for Couples & The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team's Competitive Advantage. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Can Conflict Save Your Relationship? 00:00:05 - 00:05:08 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess how you doing. I'm good how are you I'm good? I'm good you ready to talk about fighting and conflict. I'm always ready to talk about fighting and conflict but because I think that when we have had fights and arguments that when I have a level head I think I'd benefit tremendously from the you know Not long ago on the PODCAST. We talked about a recent argument. We had It was on a Saturday. We had this argument. It wasn't about much it was really about going for a walk and it was one of those smaller arguments that feels intense in the moment. But after you kind of work through it for me at least I walk away with a sense of relief and can even laugh about it and many months ago over a year ago we recorded an episode on what we fight about and surprisingly it was one of our most popular episodes especially in this is the thing. Among people who know us like friends and family and acquaintances. Who Apparently listened to the podcast? But they've never told us about it. They've never I guess admitted it and we receive so many messages from people who felt reassured or comforted by the fact that you and I argue and I don't know what would make people think that we don't argue. I guess because we don't argue in public and you really only see what we put out there. I mean obviously. I don't post instagram stories. While we're in the middle of a fight and I guess it just for me. It went without saying that. Were a normal couple. Normal couple. Were a happy couple but we still fight. I was thinking. Do you remember our first fight. Our very first fight no not at all. You looked at me like I was going to remember. I thought you remember it. I was like wow. I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. So I definitely don't remember. I don't even think I could pinpoint our biggest one. I can remember a few where I was really really mad like really mad but the way that I used to fight and the way that I fight now are very different. I just feel like it's changed so much over the years you're wake calmer cranky on and then when you're in your early twenties but you're never explosive a verbally. I think it was more in your body.

In this quickie episode, we chat about the fact that our interest in sex has declined since the onset of social isolation. We discuss strategies for creating “responsive” sexual desire and managing distractions that detract from pleasure. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Get in the Mood for Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the Sex with Dr Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight! Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess quickey podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. Hey. I can hear that you're smiling in your voice. I mean I can see it but I'm glad that you can see me across the desk here. I like the sound of it. I'm glad that you like me smiling. Yeah well I wanted to share some big news. We had sex yesterday. Boom! Big News! With each other That was a key point. I had sex by myself. That's okay too. That's cool too and you know it's not big news but I have found that I'm not in the mood for sex lately because Of my hair. No nothing to do with you. I actually love being home with you. Getting to admire you. You have your sleeves rolled up right. Now it's nineteen ninety-four my sleeves rolled up. I it's not about you. It's really just about my routine changing so significantly and I think I'm one of those like I. You know a nice lifestyle. That's high adrenaline very tiring. overworked usually and I love it. Like I love waking up after almost no sleep and catching a flight and being excited to meet New People. I love the risk of my job. Every time you get on stage you don't know if you're GONNA kill it or mess it up and so everything's changed because we're working from home and yeah. I don't find myself in the mood for sex so I wanted to talk about how to get in the mood for sex. When you're not in the mood for sex but you want to be in the mood for sex so to clarify. I'm not suggesting you should have sex when you're not in the mood unless you want to get yourself in the mood and you've probably heard me talk before about sexual desire falling into two experiences. One being spontaneous and the other being responsive so spontaneous sexual desire occurs when you worked at home all day. You've gone through the same routine you've been wearing the same jogging pants and the same shirt and your been hanging out with that same one person relevant to right then you watch some NetFlix and then spontaneously at the end of the day. You're like yeah I want the sex I can't wait to do the sex I'm GONNA get on Top. You know so that spontaneous sexual desire in for many people. That's not particularly realistic. However, we can always experience what we call not always but we have more opportunity to experience responsive sexual desire meaning that it doesn't occur spontaneously. But if you do something to get yourself physically aroused the mental or subjective part of it follows. So if you use a toy or if you fantasize or if you touch each other if you start kissing or if you think about the last time you had sex or you watch porn or you read a story. Whatever it is that turns you on you get turned on physically and then the mind remembers. Oh yeah man sex. I remember that thing that feels really good and so I've noticed that over the last few weeks since ...

Dating coach and matchmaker, Carmelia Ray joins Jess and Brandon to discuss: What holds most people back from finding a great match How dating has changed since we’ve been instructed to shelter in place Virtual speed dating How to ease into digital dating whether you’re a new couple or living long-distance How to manage the awkwardness of digital dates As mentioned on the podcast, check out Carmelia's online dating programs on FirstDate.co. Follow Carmelia on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Top Tips for Digital Dating 00:00:05 - 00:05:09 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex doctor just podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely other? Half Dr Jess how you doing. I'm awesome and even better today. Although she's not in studio. We have celebrity matchmaker car. Melia Ray Cornelia is a matchmaker matchmaker to me. The language. Almost sounds like an anachronism in the digital age. But I know that I've sent clients to you and they've been really thrilled with the results so please tell us what you do with your clients. What is your process? Because I don't think many of us really know what a matchmaker does. Well I if you break down the word I make matches so I in Layman's terms I would make would facilitate introductions between two single people and I mainly work with single professionals. Those at are at a point in their life where they know. They want to take it to the next step. They're single. They're ready and they'd like to find a life partner and how I do that is through an interview process. Getting clear on what they're looking for and then obviously doing what I need to do to introduce them to someone who may already be in my database or like any other matchmaker Through my knees of creativity and networking I will Find that person for them. So they're not having to rely on Swiping for a match there literally depending on me as a matchmaker to make an introduction. It's so interesting because people complain about how awful it is to date online and how tiring it is and what a waste of time it has been disappointed has been and I would think that working with the matchmaker is the antithesis of dating online. Yes and you know I would say that to some degree however there is a not. I want to say compatibility but in terms of the introduction process. We certainly helped to fine tune that and do the work upfront to find a match but yet when people meet in sometimes eats all the things on their list. They don't line up when they meet in person. So you can have everybody on that list but for some reason there. That piece of the puzzle just isn't fitting properly so I don't want to give up your listeners. The false impression that hire a matchmaker is the answer and you will absolutely find someone because we are obviously still dealing with with human beings. He frustration along the way right if somebody when somebody doesn't need someone in their expectations are high. And they're not met that in itself can be very disheartening so there. Are you know bumps in the road even working with a matchmaker? It's it's how you your attitude towards it as well as your expectations and including my...

Since we’re trapped at home in isolation, we decided to record an extra episode this week. We talk about a fight we had yesterday and how stress levels are affecting the way we interact. We also spend some time discussing an unrelated user question: “Do I get a say in my partner’s porn use?”. We explore the difference between setting boundaries and dictating behaviour as well as specific communication prompts you can use to talk to your partner about porn. We also consider whether or not you should change your habits to meet your partner’s needs and concerns. Please see below for a rough transcript of this podcast. Listener Question: "Do you get a say in your partner's porn habits?" You have a say in terms of having the right to speak up about how you feel. You don’t have a right to dictate how they behave. And why would you want to? If they have a desire to engage in a specific behaviour, why do you want to limit them? This isn't a rhetorical question. Explore your reasonings for wanting to limit their sexual exploration. This may help you to adjust your expectations and/or better communicate your needs and feelings. Note: If you can’t agree on porn use, it’s likely you’re not sexually compatible. Unless porn is interfering in your daily interactions (e.g. they can’t focus on a conversation or hold a job because they want to run off to their laptop and stroke it), it’s unlikely to be a real problem. Listener Question: Where is the line between advocating for what I want/setting boundaries and being controlling? Of course you can tell them if you feel jealous or uncomfortable. And they have a right to express how they feel about using porn (e.g. excited, passionate, entertained). You’re both entitled to your feelings. And you’re also responsible for your own feelings — your partner’s behaviour may affect how you feel, but your emotional response is complex and is influenced by a great number of factors (e.g. your past, sexual values, sexual associations, mood, sleep, previous relationships, your own experiences with porn). You can ask your partner to take your feelings into consideration and you can ask them to engage in a dialogue about porn. Hopefully they’ll be willing to listen and consider your feelings. This doesn’t mean they have to adjust their behavior to make your feel better; perhaps you need to adjust the way you think to make yourself feel better. Of course, if you’re expressing feelings of vulnerability, I would hope that they’d respond with care, love and reassurance. If, on the other hand, you’re making accusations and directing blame, it’s more likely they’ll respond with defensiveness and/or their own accusations. Listener Question: What about types of porn? Are some more acceptable than others? What about porn that depicts women as objects? It’s not uncommon to feel uncomfortable in response to scenes that depict degradation, age play and other taboo sex topics. It’s also not uncommon to be aroused by these scenes. In fact, some people are simultaneously aroused and disgusted. Just because a fantasy makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean that it’s inherently bad — as a fantasy. When actors consent to perform a degradation scene for example, they’re not personally being degraded; they’re actors playing a role for pay with consent. Listener Question: Should I try to change if my porn use is upsetting my partner? I suggest you consider their feelings and think about whether you want to change your habits. If you do something because you feel forced to do so, it’s likely you’ll find yourself frustrated and resentful. Some changes might be more doable (e.g. don’t watch porn in the living room) while others might feel like a violation of your own sexual rights (e.g. don’t watch porn at all). You might want to ask yourself why you’re uncomfortable with porn in the first place. Dig deep and don’t make excuses. Do you consider the same moral/personal issues when you look at o...

We’ve been isolating at home in Toronto for 19 days now and we thought we’d share how we’re doing as a couple — what’s working and what isn’t. We talk about some of the conflicting feelings we’re experiencing and brainstorm ways to make sure we’re still feeling connected over the longer term (since this could last a while). We talk about how we respond to unsettling emotions like anxiety and share some ideas for daters who can’t connect in person. Thanks for listening. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How We Manage Our Relationship in Isolation 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jasser. Podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half Dr Jess how are you doing? I'm okay today I'm okay. I haven't been having the greatest week but today I feel a little bit better. I think because the sun is released shining I heard the birds chirping next to our bedroom window. This morning Obviously I'd rather this not be are normal but it is what it you know. It is what it is right now. I know that's annoying thing to say but yeah I'm I'm a little better today than yesterday. How are you dare? I ask there you ask I'm fine. I'm OK frustrated at a bit of anxiety as I'm sure a lot of people do right now also trying to remind myself that a lot of other people have it a whole lot worse than I do. Based on what? I've read happening throughout the US and you know in parts of Canada but more so in the US and feeling a little conflicted over why. I'm feeling this way yet. So weird feeling to be simultaneously grateful because we're lucky to be in a comfortable safe home in Toronto. We don't have to leave the house. We have plenty of groceries. And so you know you're better off than most of the world right now you talk about the US. But if you look at at India folks who are walking hundreds of kilometers and miles to get home with nothing with no possession so you feel lucky but then also you just feel pissy. You know the other morning Kelly. Who produces this podcast? We hopped on a call. And she said how you doing today and I said you know what I feel. Pissy I just feel like I'm in a bad mood and I gotTa Tell. You saying it out loud felt so good because I'm a positive person I don't try and be positive I just. I'm an natural optimist for better or for worse and in some ways it's really great and in some ways. I'm sure it's very frustrating. You know. I- i- overcommit. I ended up being late. I think I have more time than I have. I'm not always realistic. But I am generally just kinda happy like I like my life. I feel very fulfilled. I feel very thankful and and at the same time when you feel that we all the time you feel pressure to always project that and so felt really good to just say no. I'm having a Shitty Day and I was having a Shitty Day. I was feeling frustrated. Like so many of us are right now. I know that we're feeling frustrated. So as weird my point is it's weird to feel pissy and frustrated but also really grateful and I know you had a frustrating day. Today I had a frustrating night. Last night I waited on hold for about two and a half hours to get through an insurance company for something that were trying to recti...

Tova Leigh joins Jess to share her journey as a mother, woman and author of Effed at 40. They discuss: How she got over her body image issues after birth How to care less about what other people think The reconciliation of motherhood and sexuality The experience of stripping down at a nude spa The power of nude photoshoots Her new book: Effed At 40 Follow Tova on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Getting Naked With Tova Leigh: Monogamy, Motherhood & More 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Hey Jessica Riley here. Your friendly neighborhood sexologist. And I'm here with author and content creator totally. Hello Hello. It's so nice to be here so you are london-based. You're on a tour. You are all over North America and beyond and I came to the end of your show last night. It sold out. There's not a seat in the house. it was so much fun. Last night was New York as part of a worldwide tour and promoting my book. effed at forty. I can save effed at forty on your podcast. That's like so refreshing because most are no making me call it after forty which is a bit annoying at forty. It's so funny the censorship. When I first started in this field morning television. They wouldn't even call me a sexologist. They'd Commun- intimacy expert like intimacy shit about that. I just about second well and it's so funny to complete the to know you. You talk about sex all the time. Yeah I talk more. I guess about Sexuality Relief From Women's perspective. Something that I feel like not a lot of people tend to think about 'cause for my own experience not obviously a an expert at all but I talk for my own experience. I have felt throughout my life that my sexuality is a woman has always kind of been viewed from a male point of view. And they think that's true for a lot of women so that's something that's really interesting to me was sort of a revelation. I had probably in my forties. Oh hang on a minute. My sexuality exists so Internal Age Ford. Yeah totally yeah yeah. So what does that mean effed at forty Yeah so people ask me. They go like what is it. Eff forties at bad I had a effing moment. God were saying. eff a lot right. The first five minutes of the show I had a eff it moment when I turned actually forty two and sort of just went. Oh my God. Life is short. What am I waiting for? I'm a mom. I have three amazing daughters and I had three kids in the space of two years so I know because I have twins. We're not as a magic uterus The way when I had a one year old and then I got pregnant and had twins and I feel like I mean again. Motherhood Mate is amazing and I'm so blessed but I felt like a lot of things. Parts of me got lost and one of the main things was sexuality that sexiness the drive for saks. You know just that whole part of me you know. Just completely shut off it. Shut down And yes so a forty two eff it moment can add decided. I'm going to go out and kind of rediscover myself and find those bits that I had lost one of them being sexuality so I I did a lot of things to try and regain that So what what did you do? How did you rediscover at forty two ish so in terms of sexuality for me it was first of all moving because I fe...

Therapist and writer, Jake Ernst, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss: Strategies for assembling your support team (AKA quaran-team) during this stressful time Apps that can help you to manage stress, transition and isolation How to manage being cooped up with your family, partner or roommates How to cope with difficult personalities and strained relationships in close proximity Ways to bring yourself back to the present and support others in doing the same How to recognize and manage signs of stress Follow Jake on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. Learn more about Straight Up Health here or by following them on Instagram. As Jake referenced during the episode, consider Calm's 30-Day free trial. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Your Quaran-Team: How to Manage the Stress of COVID-19 00:00:05 - 00:05:06 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. It's been a little while since we've been together on. The podcast wasn't sure if I was allowed to introduce myself as the CO host. Because you've been M I A. I have a have so much going on right now. I've been on the road all year but I am not on the road. I am in self isolation duo duo isolation right now back in Toronto we have been traveling and upon returning the country. We've been asked to stay in our homes for fourteen days so we are currently on day two of our self isolation my activity count on my apple. Watch is low. Although that's goals for me to keep my steps down mines embarrassingly low. How little I've done my movement. But Hey it's what we need to do. So yeah with this global pandemic. We are staying home. It's pretty disruptive to our schedules Obviously there are a range of stresses that you know we're personally experiencing at this moment so being asked to stay home for fourteen days of course for someone like me who doesn't even want to stay in the same city for fourteen days. I kind of freaked out for a hot second and then I realized that it's very little to ask me. There was a moment I just this fear in your eyes and it passed very quickly when you understood what needed to be done. Why but you were like ISD home. For How long what? Yeah and. It's not warm in Toronto and I try and avoid Toronto for the cool months and very lucky to get to that so I have to say I'm lucky to be home. We live in a fairly small home downtown. Toronto AND MY DAD LIVES WITH US. But because we have been traveling and my dad is high risk. He's seventy seven years old today. Actually we've moved him into a place at the corner and he's also sick so he should be self isolating but he refuses to and that's all other story altogether which is part of why. I'm so stressed today. We'll tell you just from all the things going on exactly. Yeah there's just so much going on. I mean tensions are high in so many different ways and so today. We're bringing on a guest to help us out with some of these tensions to help us figure out how to manage social isolation or what people are calling quarantine and yeah how to get through it with yourself with a partner with loved ones. I have to say obviously like my here with us because I know I ca...

How can equine therapy with horses help couples improve communication? How can horses support survivors of trauma? What is vaginismus and what are some approaches to managing painful sex? Dr. Maha Nasrallah-Babenko joins Jess to answer these questions and more. Follow Dr. Maha on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. What We Can Learn from Equine Horse Therapy 00:00:05 - 00:05:12 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey just a rally your friendly neighborhood sexologist here in Orange County today so just south of Los Angeles. I'm on my own without Brennan but I'm not totally on my own. I am here with psychologist and sex therapist. Dr Maha Nasrallah Benko yes impressed you pronounce it correctly as Rallo Banco actually much more sexy than most people pronounce. It would be pronounced it in your tongue. Nasrallah Benko the way you pronounce his even more sexy than the way out so you are. You're psychologist your sex therapist. You worked worked in lived all over the world you lived in. Beirut Lebanon which is one of my favorite places I've ever visited. You lived in Dubai for awhile. You studied and lived in London England. And now you're here on the west coast and it wasn't New York for a year and a half all right. That's where I met you at the Sexual Health Expo and we'RE GONNA be talking about a number of topics today but I want to begin with this. Eh quine therapy because this is all new to me. Can you tell me what this is? How you got into it and how we can. All you know. Have some takeaways from this therapy with horses? Absolutely and first of all I want to thank you for having me today. I'm really really excited. And I was really glad to see you here. An tenure event I'm a huge fan of yours in case you haven't noticed learn a lot from you even though. I'm an expert quote unquote but I think we are continuously learning and growing and I really really appreciate the information you put out there really. I'm very serious. Thank you A. It's true every event I go do. I am constantly learning. Yeah eat from. Experts and non experts like so always think it's interesting when people say oh. I know all this. How can you know all this? Yeah I studied this all day every day and I feel I mean. I know that I know very little. And Yeah I learned from my clients to just like worrying non-experts horse yeah their insights. I think are often more valuable. Because they're not in their heads. Yeah Same Way. That are so for all of you out there. You are the experts in your absolutely relation. I agree so equine. Therapy or Aucoin. Therapy doesn't matter how you pronounce it. I got into it like a year ago in terms of starting to study it But maybe six months ago or five six months ago or so. I started practicing it Here in Orange County I Dunno I think having a dog we. We had a dog We got a dog two years ago. my husband and I yes. She's adorable I think you having a dog and my love for animals and therapy and all that stuff. I started to kind of think of ways to combine them. I started to do some research and realize that it is a thing already working with animals in therapy so I started A certification on animal assisted psychotherapy.

Award winning sex educator, Tristan Taormino, joins Jess to talk about spanking, gang bangs, eye candy, social justice and mind-effing. Why you might want to attend Sex Down South this year... How to reclaim the gang bang The role of the gang bang “host” How to discuss rules and boundaries before a group sex experience Spanking rules and tools The importance of understanding your core erotic feeling The benefits of uncovering your elevated erotic feelings The role of a service top The appeal of the mind eff If you purchase tickets to Sex Down South, use code SEXWITHDRJESS for 20% off! Follow Tristan on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. Have a listen and check out Tristan’s podcast, Sex Out Loud. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Core Erotic Feeling, Gang-Bangs & Spankings 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey Jessica Riley here and today. I am joined by Tristen Tear Amino an award-winning sex. Educator media maker Speaker. She's the author of eight books editor and Co editor of twenty five anthologies and the host of your own podcast. Sex Out loud sex out loud. What do you talk about on sex out loud? You know the show evolved? It's interesting because there's so many sex podcasts right. Sometimes it feels like we're circulating all the Same guests so I think this is my. I'M GONNA go on my eighth year. This my eighth year doing it and I think the focus has become more about gender and sexuality we talk a lot about social justice marginalized communities I like to really mix in voices of you know get like a heavy hitter Janet mock and then have some one that no one's heard of you know someone who doesn't have access to the mainstream media who's doing work kind of on the margins and doing really incredible work so I like to. I like to mix it up between both and then we do questions. Not Every single episode. Do we do questions but people right? Obviously people right to me nonstop with advice questions and they call in. It's interesting because people often don't think about sexuality and social justice but even within our field you can see that there are literally thousands of brilliant folks doing really really genius work In terms of therapy of education in terms of reproductive rights. And they just don't have their voices heard because people meet me and they're like oh my gosh you know you the new Dr Ruth or in Canada the sue. You're the only one doing it and I have to tell them. You know what there are thousands of people who don't have the privilege of having this platform right right and we still thinker like suffering a little bit from being whitewashed and the people who have the most platforms and are talking the most and have the Mike most tend to be white and I feel like a group of people called that out several years ago and I took that call and criticism really seriously and feel like as a white person. It's important for me to acknowledge my white privilege and the privilege. I have in the industry the Privilege. I get with speaking gigs and to really try to push back against you know a panel where they invite me and it's all white people or a conference where they invite me and it's all white speakers so That's become m...

On this week's podcast, panty-peddler, Lacey Bloom, joins Jess to talk about her experience selling used underwear online. What makes it so exciting and how can used underwear help to destigmatize sexual taboos? They also chat about wild requests, bodily discharge, personal kinks and finding pleasure in the mundane. Listen to Lacey weekly on The Sofia Gray Show. Follow Sofia Gray on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook. We also sat down with Sofia Gray rep, Zak Callen, to get to know the brand a little better. Check out their Q&A below! 1. Why did you launch Sofia Gray? Sofia Gray was started by a group of young entrepreneurs, who had a real interest in the adult industry. They saw that a safe and secure, well designed, quality marketplace did not exist for used underwear. Hence, Sofia Gray was born. 2. Who uses Sofia Gray - on the buying and selling side? The demographics are pretty clear cut, the majority of our sellers are female 18-35 and the majority of our buyers are male 25-45. 3. Why would someone want to buy used panties? There are several reasons why someone would want to buy used underwear: a) It's a kink. Several buyers are turned on the by smell, feel and sometimes even taste of used underwear, which means buying such an item is a no-brainer to them. b) The sellers. Some buyers have a real connection or infatuation with certain sellers, so much so that they want and sometimes feel they need to buy underwear from this person, to feel close to them or even support them. c) For you. Buyers also enjoy the idea of the underwear being worn for them. A lot of the time, sellers will take custom requests where they'll wear specific pairs of underwear a specific way for a specific buyer. It makes the whole experience very personal. I think the reason each buyer actually purchases underwear is unique to them, the above is just a general overview. 4. How much does the average pair trade for? The average pair ranges from $20-50. 5. Are there any strategies that tend to garner top dollar (e.g. wearing the panties for a specific period of time, sharing personal stories or pics)? The best way to gain good traction selling underwear is by creating a quality profile and being social. A quality profile consists of a descriptive bio, high quality images, several items for sale with an array of different styles, scents, colours etc., different price points for items, listing new items regularly, interacting with buyers and so much more. A lot of people think this a "get rich quick" scheme, but you are essentially starting your own business, you have to put the effort in. 6. Can you share a few of the most unusual (titillating) requests you’ve received from buyers? I think the most unusual request that we receive fairly regularly is underwear that's been defecated in. Of course this is something that is strictly prohibited on the site for hygienic and shipping reasons. 7. If you’re curious about selling, but feel reticent due to social stigma, what advice or support do you offer? If this makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, it really isn't the industry for you. Selling your underwear is intended to make you feel liberated, sexy and empowered, if you're embarrassed, it's clearly not something you should be dabbling in. That being said, if anonymity is your issue, you can remain completely anonymous while selling your underwear, you don't have to use your real name or show pictures of your face. 8. Do folks of all genders sell/buy on your site or is it primarily men buying from women? Generally it is men buying from women, however, we get people of all genders and orientations using the site as both buyers and sellers. *** Be sure to listen to the podcast and let us know if selling or buying used panties appeals to you. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well,

The toll of intimate partner violence struck close to home this week and with this weighing on her mind, Jess discusses nine strategies for supporting a loved one who is dealing with an abusive partner. This isn’t a private issue, it’s a public health crisis and we have to do more to protect those at risk. Content warning: I will be talking about violence and the death of someone in my community. I will be reading some of the details of a recent death, so if you don’t feel comfortable hearing about intimate partner violence and death, please stop this podcast now. This may not be for you. Last weekend Dr. Amie Harwick, a marriage and family therapist who focused on relationships and sex was killed. She was killed in her home and was found below a third floor balcony with evidence of manual strangulation according to news reports. Her ex has been charged with murder. According to reports from court documents from 2011 & 2012, her ex choked, suffocated, pushed, kicked, slammed her head into the ground and refused to get help. He pushed her out of a car. He broke into her housing complex, smashed ten picture frames against her door, left 4 dozen flowers taped to her door and left a note warning that things would get worse. A restraining order was enacted against him. It expired two weeks prior to her death. I don’t know why restraining orders expire. I’m not an expert in legal protections against violent partners and exes. But my intuition is that they shouldn’t expire. There is now a petition on change.org called Justice 4 Amie. The creator, suggests that some changes to protect those dealing with a violent or abusive partner begin with: 1. No expiration date or a longer protection term and to not be lifted until victim requests it to be cancelled. (In reference to restraining orders.) 2. Mandatory long-term counselling for the stalker/abuser. If they are deemed a harm to the victim or society, then institutionalization may be ordered. 3. Victims should not have to testify in a courtroom close to their abuser/stalker. There should be an option to live stream in a safe space in a satellite location for the hearing with the judge. It's a traumatic experience that the victim is already dealing with and should not be subjected to it again if they do not feel they can. That is why many abusers get away with their actions: many victims back out of trial due to fear of facing their perpetrator. Amie ran into this ex at an industry event a few weeks before her death. According to a friend who is quoted in several news outlets, the ex went ballistic and was abusive and threatening. Amie said she was scared he would show up at her home. She went to the police, but they did not take it seriously. You may have read headlines about Amie’s death or seen photos of her with celebrity comedian Drew Carey because they also used to date. I want to read a message from a close mutual friend, Dr. Hernando Chaves that sums up what I’m thinking because I think he says it better than I will right now: “She did everything she could do to protect herself, and this person still sought her out and was violent toward her,” Chaves said. “That is what people I hope are going to see — not the sensationalism of her dating Drew Carey or being a ‘Hollywood sex therapist’... but that our system is not protecting women.” I’ve been really anxious since I heard the news. I’m angry. I’m so sad. I’m sad obviously for Amie and her family and loved ones who were closer to her than I was, but I’m also sad that in a world where we take so many precautions to protect the public, we still aren’t doing what it takes to protect those at risk of violence from their partners. Amie and I had a lot in common. We were supposed to meet on Tuesday in Hollywood. She was so smart. I interviewed her for my podcast a few years ago and she helped me to manage some of my people pleasing tendencies on the air.

Sex writer, Suzannah Weiss, joins Jess to share her personal experience with orgasmic meditation. She discusses: An alternative view of orgasm The very specific technique for “orgasmic meditation" The story of her first time with a stranger The high she gets from "extended orgasm" Her favourite sex club Advice for sex club newbies Follow Suzannah on Instagram & Twitter. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Orgasmic Meditation: A First-Hand Report 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Hey Hey your friendly neighborhood sexologist here Jessica O'Reilly joining me to talk about orgasmic meditation and extending your orgasms based on personal firsthand experience is sex and relationship writer Susanna Weiss. Thanks for being here. Thank you now. You write about sex all day long you research. Sometimes you go into the trenches and try things out so that you can write from personal and more authentic perspective. How has writing about sex for a living changed the way you feel sexually or your own sex life? It's change everything I guess. It's made me more adventurous. It's made me more confident as I learn about female sexual empowerment. And how like sort of Skewed Toward Pleasure. Our cultures sexual script. Czar it's made me WanNa fight against that and want to like normalized difference sexual scripts other than like intercourse being the main thing And given me lots of new ideas to try my sex life intercourse not being. The main event is a really difficult script to get people to veer away from and oftentimes. I think it's because we talk about trying other things sexually when there is a problem with intercourse but for those of us who maybe get off on or enjoy non intercourse sex as much as or more than we enjoy intercourse itself when I say intercourse. I'm saying you know putting something in your vagina for other people as putting something in your anus. What led you to discover sex beyond intercourse. Well I had always. I always knew that there were other things but I think there was a book I read. That was particularly influential. It was on becoming clitoris by Laurie. Men's and she talks about how patriarchal it is that we have intercourse as the main act and how A quarter of women only a quarter of women consistently orgasm through intercourse She actually argues that it's lower because she thinks people are misreporting Or reporting when they're like having intercourse lake and touching their cleared or something so just made me see how impressive it is. That women are expected to conform to societal ideal that setup by men and so this has led you to try all these different sexual practices including orgasmic meditation now. I've read about orgasmic meditation. But I've never tried it so I understand that it's a practice. That combines the power of meditation with the experience of Orgasm. But because I haven't tried it. Tell me what does it physically entail? It entails Somebody with a vulva and a partner who can be any genital configuration Stroking the upper left quadrant of the clitoris for thirteen minutes. And then sort of pressing on it for two minutes which is supposed to like ground.

This is a six minute quickie! And it’s a bit of a rant about micro-cheating. From deep-liking to chatting with an ex, what behaviours are considered cheating? And how do you deal with a partner whose behaviour is making you uncomfortable? Have a quickie listen today! Behaviours that have been classified as micro-cheating include: using emoticons, liking too many photos on an account, “deep liking” online (liking old photos), posting sexy selfies, having friends of the gender(s) to which you’re attracted, and having private DM conversations. I think this is absurd. What specifically constitutes cheating is subjective, but the micro-cheating expectations set some very narrow guidelines that simply are not realistic. In fact, some of these expectations are rooted in control, possession and monitoring that sets off some red flags with the potential to undermine respect, love and personal autonomy. Is it fair to say that anything that makes your partner uncomfortable should be classified as cheating or micro-cheating? Certainly, some of these behaviours can cause tension in a relationship, but tension itself is not evidence that your behaviour is in appropriate; compatibility and monogamy are subjective concepts — one person might be fine with their partner dancing sensually with another person and another might find it threatening. Neither is right or wrong — it’s up to you and your partner to talk about expectations and boundaries. I’m more concerned about the desire to control your partner’s behaviour than I am about many of the behaviours on the so-called micro-cheating list. What if you disagree on these boundaries and definitions of cheating? If you disagree, you run into an issue of compatibility. Again — there is no universal standard. Many of our expectations around relationships are personal, cultural and even regional. You have to talk about these issues and behaviours from the onset and you need to keep talking. It’s a conversation that requires vulnerability and work and compromise. You don’t get to call the shots and the real mistakes people make is the assumption of monogamy, and the assumption that monogamy means the same thing to everyone. It doesn’t. We have a wealth of data to support this, but people are so hung up on their belief that they are the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong that they make far too many assumptions. Let’s say you have this conversation and you still disagree. Does this mean you're incompatible? It might. But you might also need to be more flexible. If you expect to find someone who agrees with you on everything, you should stop looking. They don’t exist. It can feel that way when you first meet because you’re overwhelmed by passion chemicals, but once you get to know them, I can assure you there will be significant differences in definitions and expectations. How do you have the conversation effectively? You dig deep and get vulnerable. And you talk about feelings first. If something makes you uncomfortable, you need to identify the emotion associated with that discomfort — is it insecurity, self-consciousness, fear, threat of loss or another negative emotion? Talk about the feeling that underlies your desire or belief as opposed to debating the righteousness of a behaviour. If you don’t want your partner to text their ex, talk about how it makes you feel as opposed to discrediting the person. When you show vulnerability, it leads to more honest and meaningful conversations. And for the partner who is engaging in a behaviour that causes tension, ask yourself why it’s important to you. Why do you do it? Do you chat with your ex because you’re secretly hoping for an intimate connection or do you stay in touch because they’re an important person in your life? Convey the underlying motivation and feelings honestly to your partner. We’ll all be better off when we stop trying to control one another — especially with shaming language like “micro-chea...

George’s wife cheated on him — twice. He still remembers the smell of the room they were in when she told him 13+ years ago. George joins us to share his story of how worked through the infidelity and continue to grow as a couple. He shares his struggles, lessons learned and the ways in which his community supported them through the process. Many years later, they’re together and thriving just as they did in the early years of their relationship. Please see a rough transcript of this episode below. Brandon: Welcome to the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m your co-host Brandon Ware here with my lovely partner, Dr. Jess Jess: Today we’re going to be talking about infidelity and moving forward after an affair. In the past, we’ve talked about the fact that there are many ways in which you can hurt your partner. There are many means through which you can cause harm to a relationship. And that feeling hurt is a universal experience alongside the feelings of being let down, feeling alone and even feeling betrayed at times. In a world that touts monogamy as the gold standard of relationships, however, we have placed sexual cheating at the top of the transgression hierarchy. Many view cheating as the worst possible thing you can do to your partner (perhaps with the exception of physical and emotional abuse). But the reality is that cheating is common. Some research suggests that one quarter of us has cheated. I’d suggest that the number might be higher, because it’s difficult to even be honest with ourselves let alone to be honest with researchers. But relationships survive and thrive despite cheating. And whether or not someone has cheated isn’t necessarily an accurate measure of your relationship quality or fulfilment. You can be in a relationship in which no one has cheated and be miserable and you can be in a relationship in which you’ve both cheated in the past, worked through the causes and effects and be living in deep fulfilment. We’ve talked about monogamy in the past and the challenges that it presents for many people — and strict or toxic monogamy, in particular, so we won’t get into that now. Instead, we’re going to delve into a real life story of how cheating can be overcome. Joining us today to share his story of how he managed and worked through an affair in his relationship is George, who has been listening to the podcast and wrote in with his story. George: I will start off with the good news first: We have been married for nearly 16 years now, we have 3 kids and a good home. She is a stay at home mom and I work full-time. We have a great home and a dog to boot. I need to pinch myself sometimes because we are so fortunate to have what we have, to be together with each other and our kids and to have fulfilling relationships with friends and family. 3 years in to our marriage my wife cheated on me with her boss. The emotion behind writing this even 13 years in the future is still very raw and palatable. I can remember the smells of the tavern we were at when she told me. She had 2 (that she told me of) separate encounters with him. One in their office in Chicago, another on a company trip to NYC. My heart rate is increasing in the telling now. We were both working in lower paying, middle management jobs. We rented a crummy house in a nice community that was near where I worked and the train to the city where her office was located. We were in our late 20's and we spent our evenings and weekends drinking with my friends, smoking cigarettes and giggling. In retrospect I was avoiding adulthood. We had a lively sexual life, I thought, although she wasn't in the mood as much as I am. Truthfully, she still isn't as I am usually ready on a moment's notice. She needs the set and setting just so. Conversely, an empty house without kids in it will do at this point! At any rate, I have always been attracted to her. Even now as we approach our mid-40's she is a sexy women with a body I ...

Evguenia joins Jess & Brandon to share her personal experience with kink play, polyamory, and energy orgasms. She shares a short erotic story (The Decadent Play Party) from her book, Alice in Polyland and walks Jess & Brandon through a multi-dimensional body scan. As it was referenced on the podcast, check out Evguenia's free Healing Body Scan Exercise here. Follow Evguenia on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & Youtube. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Kink, Energy Orgasms & Multi-Dimensional Body Scans 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with the Doctor Chess O'Reilly and I am here with the we VIBE wand you hold that like you're going to do some dirty to me with it so this wand is this is not sponsored by the way looks like an Oversized microphone if you're familiar with the Hitachi magic wand which is a back massager that has been around for decades and has been used for non back massage. There's purposes this is in my in my opinion an improvement upon that wand by my friends over at we've five and it's it's just just this beautiful beast that I was GonNa sub in for Brandon's microphone but I was too late. It looks like that thing is ready for pleasure. Yeah and the the We vibe one you guys should check it out you can go google that is causing a little bit of a storm here at my house because Ria we've had a number of people ask to see it to touch it. Yes what it's all about. Let me be clear. I don't leave this big sex toy out on my coffee table. It's just that in Carlisle Johnson from good for her was here a little while back and she. I guess people haven't seen it yet. So she mentioned it to someone else who mentioned it to someone else and then someone came mm to drop off some equipment at my house unrelated to sex toys and just kinda standing in the doorway. This is this is a friend but a friend of the from social media. But I haven't met in person person and she said well you have something I want to see and I said Oh. I'm sure I'm sure I do. She said I wanNA see the wand. Because Carla what was talking about it and now I've been carrying the one everywhere with me so make sure you check that out. It's the we want totally unsponsored. Just thought I'd share that with the all other. You'RE GONNA say I cuccia either one but brandon's upstairs playing with it. Yeah you can leader. If you'd like okay. It's nice all over the body so today we're GONNA be talking about a number of topics with our special guests of Kenya from spirit. Sex Lab so of an accredited energy therapist a sex educator cater. She studied at the world's premier hands on healing program. What is that? What is the world's premier hands on healing program? It's called the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. It's located in Miami and it's a four year program really really in depth in terms of healing approaches and also personal growth personal transformation. Oh Okay and so. It's not just about sexuality. Although that's year airing all yes. You study A lot of things Second Year focuses serology. The and Also Mind Sexual Gardens comes from seven years of experience in polio.

Author & Sex Educator Carlyle Jansen joins us to discuss anal sex, prostate pleasure and sex toys. Carlyle shares her insights and tips regarding: How to stimulate the perineal sponge The best toys for prostate pleasure The importance of butt plugs for anal sphincter relaxation Why you want to have Goldilocks poops The water-bottle butt technique The clock technique for the prostate The importance of your knuckles when it comes to your butt The relationship between “rest & digest” and pleasure Be sure to catch "Conversations for Couples: Passion, Intimacy, Sex & More" with Jess & Brandon at Good For Her in Toronto on January 27th, 2020! Get your tickets here. The following products were mentioned in today's podcast: Loki Wave Fun Factory Duke Pleasure Plug We-Vibe Vector Aneros Prostate Simulator To learn more about anal play, listen to Episode 72, "All About Anal" here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Author and sex education expert, Dr. Karen Rayne is a wealth of information and has developed specific and actionable strategies to help you talk to your kids and teens about sex and other difficult topics. In this episode, Karen and Jess discuss: How to talk to teens about breakups, sex, sexting, risk-taking The “one question” rule to revolutionize conversations about sex Specific “rules” for talking to teens 10 steps to break the “hush factor” when it comes to sex The benefits of considering yourself a “contractor” when it comes to your teen How to ensure that your child/teen feel supported and come to you during times of need, distress and crisis Sexting - essential rules, approaches and considerations How to stay cool when your teen is riling you up Considerations related to how much space and autonomy to give your teen As Dr. Karen referenced "The Hush Factor" in today's podcast, please see this explanatory graphic below. Follow Dr. Karen on Instagram. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Specific Strategies for Talking to Teens About Sex, Sexting & More 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Hey Jessica Riley here your friendly neighborhood sexologist. And today I am joined by Dr Karen Rain the Executive Director of on on hushed an author and educator. You do all the things in sex education with folks of all ages but with a focus on young people and parents. Yeah yeah I would say so. And part of the reason I don't focus a lot on adults is because they're really hard to reach and so I have plans in the works long-term plans. Do you think adults need more. Sex Education may be even more than teens. Do you think think we ended up in a place where we think because we're mature or because we have experienced. We don't need the formal education. Yeah or people think that. Oh like I got that when when I was a teenager as much as I needed and Not Recognizing that things change as you get older bodies change what you want out of a relationship. Changes is what you don't want on her relationship. Changes like everything evolves and continues to evolve are learning about sexuality and relationships needs to continue through as a life life-span learning process one pattern. I observe with parents is that oftentimes you didn't receive sex education. You needed when you were younger as we know In many cases it was entirely absent. And then your kid or your team comes to you with an issue or they don't come to you but you observe from the sideline the and then you have to do the learning in order to be the teacher in some ways and so I'm thinking of a couple of scenarios lately where some parents texted me and they're fourteen fifteen year old in in these cases daughters are either sexting and I know sexting abroad term means lots of different things but sending sexy messages suggestive tax even some sexy photos not not nudes in these cases. And they're freaking out. They're really concerned. They see it as a moral issue is an ethical issue. They see this as something that could potentially ruin their daughters lives. And as much as I you know we can understand that visceral reaction that yo...

Jess & Brandon complete the Sexual Values Questionnaire and continue learning about themselves and one another. They discuss how they feel about the physical, practical, emotional and spiritual components of sex. They also discuss sexual frequency and some of the challenges they personally face. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexual Values Questionnaire Part II 00:00:05 - 00:05:15 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcasts it's twenty twenty first podcast of the year. I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my love. The other half Dr Jess Pretty Pretty excited for twenty twenty produce cited what what particularly excite you twenty twenty space travel flying cars. It's twenty twenty twenty. I'm teleporting everywhere. Robots clean my house and make smoothies. I'm pretty sure there are robots that clean the house. Listen I'm just excited for the jetsons. Yes which is what. Let me guess what I watched as a child right well tell me this was the jetsons set in twenty twenty because it seemed like it was set in twenty twenty it. Did they had flying cars. We're not there other than that. I don't know anything about the show contrary to what you believe. I did not watch that as a child. They had a robot a dog. They did have a dog. I don't think it was a robot dog underneath that it was a robots a robot. So anyhow I'm excited for this year it's the very beginning beginning. We Pretty Nice holiday definitely hope everyone had a good holiday was fairly relaxing. I'm a little still under the whether you're getting under the weather. This is my fault you in a throw you under the bus on this one. I'm getting sick because of you. Use My toothbrush are you. Somebody's toothbrush other day. Whose it was probably somebody was cleaning with it? Did you use the cleaning toothbrush. Filled bleach clean done. My New Year morning breath was just a little bit better Vinnie so we had a pretty good holiday feeling. I've feeling relaxed. I'm not as refreshed as I would have liked to have been for the start of the year and I know you're more of a sentimental person like wanting to do things a certain way to set the tone. Interestingly I was reading that the tradition of wanting to be doing being something specific at midnight at the start of the year comes from our shameful pass. So the idea that Oh. I should be spending time with with whomever I love. Or if I'm having a good time at midnight it means I'm going to have a great year. I was reading. This actually comes from the shameful past of slavery That's no that. Slaves would be families in slavery. Would the extra nervous four January first because because this was the date when their owners could lease them out to another property so this was a time when families became separated from one. Another so something that we see as this you know perhaps positive or sentimental tradition is perhaps related to are sorted history of I. It's such a weird thing to say to even the the notion of owning people but I think it's important we talk about it because it wasn't that long ago because folks we know still have surviving relatives who who who were affected and of c...

Happy holidays! In this episode, Jess and Brandon use the Sexual Values Questionnaire to explore their own sexual values. Brandon shares his experiences learning about sex and gender through sport, family and (Catholic) school and Jess shares her memories of what she learned about sex growing up. They don’t complete the full exercise, so it will be continued in next week’s episode. Feel free to try the Sexual Values Questionnaire on your own or with your partner(s) using the following questions as discussion prompts: 1. What messages did you receive about sex growing up? 2. What messages do you wish to retain and which ones do you want to reframe/discard? 3. What does sex mean to you? 4. How important is sex to you? 5. What emotional components of sex do you value? 6. What physical & practical components of sex do you value? 7. What spiritual components of sex do you value? 8. How often do you want to have sex? 9. How do you want to feel before, during & after sex? 10. How do you anticipate sex changing over time? 11. What are the sexual challenges you currently face and how can you address them? This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Better Understand Your Sexual Values (And Your Partners) 00:00:05 - 00:05:16 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I am. Your Co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely and under the weather partner. Dr Jess got a little bit of a raspy voice. I've lost my voice. Start Your sexy voice going on. Yeah I got a little cold but I think I also wore myself out singing karaoke. It was pretty epic Holiday Party that we had last week for our staff is included four and a half hours of Karaoke at our house screaming and I'm sure the neighbors offers were not pleased. Then he was fine but brandon was upset because he had to actually share the Karaoke mic with eighteen. Other people and just to touch on that quickly I wasn't isn't terribly pleased with the song selection. No I'm just kidding. Actually it was a lot of fun we did. We sang a number of ridiculous songs. Yeah Brennan in insane. Throw some D's on. That did yes. I didn't need the lyrics for that one. So it's it's holidays and I'm under the weather which is is a little disappointing but it happens when you go really hard when you take a break what happens your body is like oh I need to recover. Remember that thing. I've been fighting off. It is for you and this tends to happen for us quite frequently where it's on our downtown that we end up getting sick and I think like you said it's because you go so hard so oh any suggestions on what we should do next year to fix this nocco so hard so hard. Yeah it's it's been a nice holiday season. It hasn't been too stressful. But I had some stress coming from some people close to me that ultimately I could have chosen not to take on. So that's a lesson for next year recruit But it's been a good one. We're going into twenty twenty and what we're thinking for today is that we'd like to talk about. Oh this sexual values questionnaire so a big part of my work involves distilling the research but also putting eating it into practice in creating tools for my groups...

What are the most common issues couples fight about? How can you argue less and effectively manage conflict? How do you find middle ground when it comes to tough topics like money, sex and time? How can you support your partner over the holidays when they’re faced with family and sibling conflict? Jess and Brandon share their stories and sex therapist and psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle weighs in with her expertise. Follow Dr. Rachel on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. To learn more about Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, click here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Most Common Couple Fights & How to Manage Conflict This Holiday Season 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the SAX with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess. PODCAST I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half Dr Jess Hey. Hey doing I'm great. How you doing candidate coming up on the holidays lots going on? We do have a lot going on so before we dive in. Because we're GONNA be talking about common fights that couples bowls and even siblings and families have. And how do maybe have fewer of those fights or fight fair and resolve them. And I think I'd like to chat a little about common holiday. They've fights before we do big. Thank you to desire. Resorts increases for their ongoing support of this podcast. Be sure to check them out at desire experience. It's now joining us. Today is Dr Rachel Needle. Who is a sex therapist psychologist Tell us a little bit about your organization. Sure so thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here As you said I'm a licensed psychologists certified sex therapist I'm in private practice and on a group called the hall all Psychological Center in West Palm Beach Florida. I also Co Director of modern sex therapy institute. So we Do Continuing Education and certified sex therapists around the world so very excited to be here. Yes and so. I'm doing some work with modern sex therapy institutes coming up in March. Can't wait of twenty twenty in west Palm Beach not a bad place to be in March. I think Brennan will probably come down. Join me could excellent. Because it's cold in Toronto at that time and then we'll be in New York City in May and so if you are a sex therapist or counselor even educators or just enthusiasts they come and attend these clinical trainings wings on a wide range of topics including some of the most common issues. You're facing sex therapy and we're we're also going to be talking about the business of sex therapy sex exit education and sex counselling because that's sort of my background. Yeah and something that a lot of people don't talk about and don't learn anything about right how to build a business as a therapist and specifically specifically as a sex therapist so I think that's going to be a really well received one. Yeah excited to be joining forces. So you're here today because you've got the expertise. He's on fighting. What do couples come to you fighting about? What are the most common issues? Say what a thing to have an expertise the fighting expert now so we had an argument last night and we want to turn it into a therapy session. I'm just kidding Swedish it.

M'kali-Hashiki has a complex sexual history including personal experience with polyamory, non-monogamy, BDSM, and achieving mystical states during sex. She considers herself a “sexual outlaw”, as well as being a “triple minority” (Black, female, and queer); accordingly, she views society's standards on sexuality with a critical eye. In this episode, we discuss: Erotic empowerment & breath work The difference between the erotic and the sexual How to be more grounded in your body The importance of “checking in” with the butthole and with the jaw Full-body orgasms Follow M'kali on Instagram, Facebook & Youtube. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Full-Body Orgasms & How to Be Grounded in Your Body 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jazz. PODCAST I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely partner? Dr Jess Hi there before we get started I want to give a a big thank you to desire resorts and SPA. And they have a cruise line for their ongoing support of this podcast. Check them out at desire your experience today. We have a very special guest and really excited because this gas works in an area of the sexuality the field. That is far beyond the purview. So I have lots of questions. Lots of learning to do and Kali has shaky is an erotic empowerment consultant and and you teach erotic breath work course. What does that entail? Oh suss alert. There's a big question and Basically the idea is that Breath one of my little catchphrases. That breath is an anchor and a vehicle and and so breath keeps US anchored in our body but it also moves energy around the body and it's a really important way to get in contact with an access our Roddick Energy and I define Roddick is different than sexual. Although related so around breath work is really about teaching people particular breath techniques techniques that they can use to deepen their relationship with their with themselves and also to deepen their relationship with the divine however they define that. And so what's the difference between erotic and sexual so to me when I do a three part definition And it's the central. The sexual erotic to differentiate between the three so the central Paul is that which is pleasing to stimulation of any of the senses. And the sexual is anything that is pleasing to stimulation of any of the erogenous zones owns and or the genitalia with one or more of the following as goal connection communication or orgasm and the erotic is that which is stimulation of over please into the soul and the ways that they are connected. Is that sensuality sexuality or the Central and the sexual are the most direct routes and the most embodied routes to the soul so I teach erotic breath work but it also does have Uses for enhancing sexual intimacy. But that's not the only thing that is about and and so does this type of breath work learning and practice affect your daily life side from the central is really well you. We know helping people to be more grounded in their body I work a lot with Folks who as I say live and bodies multiple marginalized by estate. And I say that he's that phrase you know.

Nikki DaVaughn joins Jess to share insights on Domination, dirty talk, fat sex and body confidence. We cover: Scripts you can use if you want to try being more Dominant with your lover. The difference between being a Dominant and a top; the difference between being a sub and a bottom. The language of fatness: plus-size vs curvy vs fat. How her mother’s voice offset the potential effects of a fat phobic and objectifying culture. Body positivity versus body neutrality. Follow Fat Bottom Cabaret on Instagram and Facebook. Follow Nikki on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. This podcast is brought to you and by Desire Resorts and AdamandEve.com - Save 50% off almost any item + FREE shipping + FREE VIP rush processing at AdamAndEve.com with code DRJESS50! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Fat Sex, Topping & Bottoming and How To Be a Dominant in Bed 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Hello Hello Jessica Riley your friendly neighborhood sexologist here and today we are talking to Nikki Devan a writer storyteller a a performer. A dominatrix the host of fat bottom cabaret yes. Hi Hello thank you for being here so excited site to be here. Oh so you host fat bottom cabaret tell us all about that so fat. Bottom cavalry is a plus size cabaret troupe. Based here in Austin Texas and I am the founder and director but as a troop we put on a show once a quarter. Call them in nursery and It is a powerhouse collective of POC performers. You either have to be a person of color a person of size or you have to be queer. And it's just A. It's a SEC Obama's Obama's way to showcase people of color during their art and create visibility. And you have fun and it's a party on stage and I am see awesome. The Harry coming up soon. Yes December seventh. It's called fanciest. Eff that way so many times it. It is a great description we mutual friend Adam from. Yes our counseling on. I would describe him as oh absolutely absolutely. Adam is one of our sponsors sponsors for our show and every time he's okay. I want to sponsor the show them like. That sounds great. And he's like I'm just GonNa give you this. And every time he offers something it turns terms are show into the FA- oh you just took us up a notch on like that. He's fancy I like it. If you're not following moon tower counseling. I highly right. Yes check them out because what Adam has a unique ability to do Adam and sex positive families have this skill where they can give re-lease elise thoughtful and practical insights in like eight words right. I can't do that. I need a lot of words. I'm chatty yeah talking to a turtle the other up. Can we talk about the Turtles Austin. Because you're from Austin yes I am from here yes. I was walking along the river the other day and I saw seven turtles and the almost looked as though they were top a top of one another. Yeah right and Adams saw it on my instagram was like Oh so you went to a turtle orgy. Of course Adam said that I like Oh my God the turtles are I am very biased. They are the cutest God. Damn things in the world and is though they congregate where they know. They're going to be a lot of people and then they do cute things like each other's backs or like pop ...

Dr. Ava Cadell shares her journey from growing up in an orphanage and surviving assault to working as a nude model and becoming one of the most well-known sexologists in the world. Ava shares a wealth of information from her personal and professional journeys including: Exercises to heal from loss and self-hate How to find your own voice after trauma Strategies for loving yourself after the loss of a loved one Neuro-based exercises to break familiar patterns Strategies for improving body image and rewriting scripts about love, sex and intimacy The role of art therapy, empathy and meditation in healing Free resources for those dealing with grief, loss and shame This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Learning to Love Yourself Especially When Dealing With Loss, Grief & Shame 00:00:05 - 00:05:18 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can us tonight. Hey Hey it's just Riley here your friendly neighborhood sexologist. I am without the love of my life partner in crime. Mister Brennan wear today because because I am down in our head to think about that Austin Texas for a clinical training so yesterday hosted a training session on how how lenses and lessons from consensual non monogamy research can be applied to all relationships including monogamous relationships ups and one of the folks who was a part of this clinical audience mostly therapists and counselors and educators in the field who. I really don't have anything to teach but she was there for her. Cu Credits is Dr Eva KC and Asec Certified Sex Counselor. The author of eleven books and and the founder of Love All g university and that's love univ- dot Com and Eva. I've admired did your work long before. I think I'd even heard the word sexology. So it's pretty humbling to have you in a training but also to just sit and chat with you and we have a a similar story so thanks for being here. Oh thank you for having me now. You have been doing this a while. I would say so over twenty five years and how did you got your start. Well my stock came from adversity because I was born in Hungary during revolution smuggle to an orphanage in Austria Austria raised by strict nuns. Who made me believe that sex was evil and my body was so dirty that it would be a model send then if I touched myself and so I grew up a very confused? Teenager had horrible relationships and when I hit rock bottom I decided I need to find out everything I could about love relationships and sex and so where where do you start. How old were you? Well I started in London where I became a nude model? Yes and you're really beautiful in the in these well but I did that out of you know rebellion really. I say I'm a fallen in Catholic however I consider myself quite spiritual and I believe in Karma but I don't like religion that uses guilt to control people mm-hmm because I believe that love and sex the most precious gift we can give to somebody who's worthy of it exactly and so so nude model auteuil is that well no I was. I was in nude model for the sun the Daily Mirror. They had a page three. Go if you ever heard of that. I also posed in a lot of men's magazines when I was very young and it was the only way I could make ...

Licensed therapist Carlos Cavazos is a firecracker and an incredible source of insights and easy-to-use advice for more fulfilling relationships and hotter sex. In this episode we discuss: How to take care of yourself first when you are accustomed to caring for others (personally and/or professionally) The difference between independence, inter-dependence, and co-dependence How to set healthy boundaries this holiday season How to overcome negative-filtering, so that you can be happier in love and life Exercises to support your mental health How to make the festive season kinky and have more exciting sex Sploshing and cake-sitting Adult baby diaper lovers (ABDL) How to reduce the stress of hyper-vigilance How to use Naughty and Nice lists to spice things up Follow Carlos on Instagram, Youtube, & Twitter. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Holiday Kink, Rewiring the Brain, ABDL & Setting Boundaries 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can us tonight. Hey Hey hope. Everyone's doing well out there today. We have a very special guests. And we're going to be talking about how to take care of yourself when you're taking care of others will be talking about mental. Health will be skipping over the pond to Kink and holiday king and more and do you hear him already. He's a shining star. This is Carlos Kvassov's sexologist therapist and host of ask Carlos on Youtube. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I am like super excited guys. Doctor Jazz has been like a huge inspiration. So is excited with like this sex goddess recording. This so excited I think I'm just more the sex expert goddess. Not The sex. Go One day. I'M GONNA go back into the bedroom and be an actual sex gone. There's always sign. There's always I got. I got time now. So you're a therapist and you actually come from a mental health background. You do a ton of work in sexuality which I WANNA get to buy. Your background is in mental health. And you're working with people with severe mental illness. Illness in Texas. Can you tell us a little bit about kind of the a typical client. And you think you're working for an insurance company right so I mean. The typical clients are have a severe severe mental. Illness like schizophrenia. Any of bipolar major depression. But they are towards the like almost like really difficult to function kind of level so kinda borderline align on high functioning to severe functioning severely mentally ill. So sometimes they'll be they'll be able to have a conversation with you. Oh and other days. We'll just be so paranoid. It makes it a little difficult to work with that Scott Peterson's when you are working without population and you're mentioning that you have a lot of patients you're able to manage these case loads and I'm in a different vote. I like to work with groups. Mice strength isn't working in the one on one and I joke that maybe it has to do with my avoiding of intimacy intimate conversation just a personality thing right what you're good at and you know where your strengths lie. I find it emotionally draining. It is yeah. How do you manage taking care of yourself emotionally whe...

The Passion Interview is a tool used for couples to spark passion, improve understanding, and deepen intimacy. It’s designed to shift the conversation away from the mundane to the exploratory. Jess uses this exercise with couples in-session and in the 50 video online Master Class. In this week’s episode Jess and Brandon work through the questions together and discuss a range of topics: childhood memories, racial justice, privilege, the Obamas, retirement, routine, travel, regrets, physical affection and expressions of love. You can download the passion interview here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How the Passion Interview Can Improve Your Relationship 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half Dr Jess Hey. Hey folks. Today we are going to be sharing a tool with you and Brennan thinks the word tool is very funny and this is a tool that I use news with couples to guide a conversation. That's intended to enhance understanding and deepen intimacy and boost passion and this is called the passion interview. Now you've probably heard me talk about the fact that the death of passion in relationships occurs when your conversations become reduced to the mundane so specifically I talk about the three passion perils when it comes to communication your kids your work and your schedules now of course yes you have to talk about your kids and your family and you do have to talk about your work and your schedules. And there are people who derive a great deal of fulfillment and excitement from these three areas of our lives. But if all we talk about is kids and family work and what you're GonNa do tomorrow it can lead to too much predictability too much practicality Too Little Room for exploring and dreaming together either so I really want to underline that. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk about these three things. They will be a big part of your conversation. But you don't want your conversation to be reduced exclusively to these topics alone and when you think about when you first meet. Part of the initial attraction is related to who all of the sharing and learning. You're doing together when you learn something new or surprising about someone. They become more alluring. And so it follows that you wanNA keep these revelations coming you want to create opportunities to to surprise your partner with something they don't know whipple you even if you've been together five ten fifteen twenty plus years because there is always something new to learn and this this passion interview is meant to shift the conversation away from them in Dane but also to get you talking about things that are just more exciting and so this is an exercise. I use in session at some of my couple's retreats I I'll talk about the science of passion and what the research research says and how interesting conversations are actually essential to attraction and desire and then I have the couples go off on their own for thirty to forty five minutes and they complete this activity and this is also part of our fifty video core so this masterclass for...

How do you approach your partner about an open relationship? What do you do if one partner wants monogamy and the other wants consensual non-monogamy? How do you get your partner to talk about sex if they’re shy or uncomfortable? How do you deal with sexless marriages? Heather McPherson, M.A., LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST joins us to discuss her experience working with couples and singles as a sex therapist and founder of the Sexual Health Alliance. The Sexual Health Alliance has a Full Sex Therapy and Sex Education Certification Training program with all the CEs you need to apply to be AASECT Certified. SHA has several advance certificate training programs as will including CNM, Kink and more to be announced soon. This weekend in Denver, Colorado, join world renowned experts in the field for a Sexceptional Weekend to learn the basics and explore all the intricacies of what it means to be in a consensual non-monogamous relationship. Lectures by Dr. Eli Sheff and Dr. David Ley with special guests from the APA Consensual Non-Monogamy Task Force and creators of the Orgy Story podcast. And next weekend in Austin, TX, join the Sexual Health Alliance for Adventures in Unicorn Hunting, Happy Endings and Other Advanced Skills for Open Relationships with Dr. Eli Sheff and myself! We'll take a deep dive into Monogamish and Open Relationships and discuss advanced concepts, case studies and treatment approaches in working with these populations. And, join Heather and myself for a special evening program on Saturday at 8pm at Respark Therapy for The Business of Sex. Follow the Sexual Health Alliance on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. To learn more about Respark Therapy, click here. Follow Respark Therapy on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. In(Compatibility): When You Want an Open Relationship & Your Partner Doesnt 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely partner? Dr Jess Hey. You know what's on my mind. Talk to me. Talk to me like you're lying on your couch. Ti whatever you can. You do. rubberband man I I can but I'm not going to okay so ti. I've always been a fan big fantasy. Oh well I was. You were past tense. Well he's recently opened up about taking his eighteen year old daughter to the gynecologist every year. To make sure that they inspect her hymen to make sure that it's it's intact. Wow yes and apparently she signs a form giving him permission to find out whether or not it's intact. I'm I am surprised that a doctor is willing to do this in the first place. Because when it comes to the Hyman and inspecting the Hammond the World Health Organization Cautions Shinzo Against this. They're quite clear that inspecting the hymen is not a sign of so-called Virginity and I'll say first and foremost that virginity is a social construct. There is no one specific. Act that makes you a virgin or not a virgin. I always think about well. What if you have different types of sex? What if you are a lady who has has sex with another person WHO's lady to vaginas rubbing against each other doing that...

How do we define disability inclusively? How does disability affect sex and relationships? And why should we consider incontinence a public health issue? Mari Ramsawakh joins Jess and Brandon to reflect upon their personal story — from being bullied as a child to navigating ableism and fetishism to having the most fulfilling sex life imaginable. Have a listen and learn from their insights! In this episode, Jess & Brandon referenced Mari's article, Incontinence is a Public Issue - And Why We Need to Talk About It. Read it here. Follow Mari on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex & Disability A Personal Journey 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome onto the sex with Dr Jasser. Podcast I'm your friendly neighborhood sexologist Jessica Riley here with my partner in life partner in crime partner in love. Mr Brandon wear always happy. It'd be here today. We are joined by Mari. Romsey walk you are a model a creator. A writer and your work focuses on social equity and inclusion. And I've been reading that you teach workshops about able ism and you recently wrote a piece on incontinence as a public health issue and this this is something not only that is ignored that we don't talk about but it's not represented in almost any of the media. We consume except as the butt of jokes. Can you explain why incontinence should be considered a public health issue and share your insights with incontinence It can be a symptom him for a lot of people it can be a complication of of Many different things for a lot of People who get pregnant after childbirth They can experiencing continents Because of the whole experience of childbirth But also for people who experience any kind of paralysis from the waist down really any other kind of issues incontinence can be something that occurs Because of another reason so for myself I've SPINA bifida partial paralysis from the waist down so I- experiencing continents Because of my nerves. Don't all make it to everywhere where they need to be And as you mentioned it's off we are often the butt of the joke. I remember being a workshop and the workshop facilitator. We're talking was doing a thought exercise. Where you're like imagining yourself on the bus? And then they made a joke about They're being like the one. PC It on. I'm not see that nobody wants to sit in and as someone who experienced and continents and has experienced incontinence on public transit it was one of those moments that really took me out at the moment And made me feel really bad and I kind of felt really awful for the rest of the day and This was kind of before I ever really talked about incontinence publicly so I didn't really know what to do or how to feel And that's why I ended up writing that article. It was just like being an aunt in an anti impression workshop and coming away from it feeling like that was definitely something that didn't feel great. And so when we think about incontinence I think a a lot of people think of as you said postpartum continents but people live with incontinence their entire lives and this affects relationships that affects whether or not y...

How does ADHD affect sex, communication and intimate relationships? How do you break break the “parent-child” dynamic in relationships so you can focus on being partners and lovers? Psychologist and sex therapist, Dr. Ari Tuckman joins us to share insights from his research and latest book, ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship. His practical advice applies to all relationships, regardless of whether or not you have ADHD, so be sure to tune in! To find out more information about Dr. Tuckman's books, podcast, past presentations (and more), check out adultADHDbook.com. Dr. Tuckman also recommends checking out CHADD. For Canadian listeners, check out The Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada and The Canadian ADHD Resource Alliance. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How Does ADHD Affect Sex & Relationships? 00:00:10 - 00:32:46 Relationship Advice you can use tonight you're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and of course I'm always curious and if something makes me curious I've kind of made a commitment to myself that I'll ask you about it or if something makes me chips today should be very interesting yes now before we get to that I wanNA talk about a topic we were talking about this morning on global. TV's the mornings Thomas to everybody and while I'm using your laptop all of your messages are popping up all of your calendar invites are popping up I think even your email was popping up partners probably going to be more focused on the anger they're feeling over them having checked their phone so much so that they might be unwilling to even listen at all because uncomfortable I'd rather come and tell you hey I'm feeling motivated to snoop and I don't want to do that so let me address what I'm feeling or what's concerning me so show so for folks who are not Canadian that's one of our national morning shows and of you wrote in with a query it says I checked my girlfriend's DM's how would you feel about snooping behind my back and reading my messages on the flip side I think there is some privacy I probably am going back on what I've said in the to address their own behavior so I guess we should start with we know it's not a good idea to check our partners DM's agree you know I was working on your computer yesterday and that's the way I've gone about things like if you want a you can use my computer you have access to my e mail you have access to all my messages because I don't us but I also think that there is a degree of privacy that I should be afforded where you don't need to look my messages but the truth is I don't really care when she left her phone unlocked and I can see she's chatting with her ex in a flirty way should I bring it up that's a that's a as they might feel their trust and their privacy has been violated they get so caught up in the other person's misstep that I think they might refuse to even begin yes because my laptop as we know I really need a new laptop I've needed a new laptop for a very long time it's been at least a year I think it's been close to two to three years and I refused interesting question do you check my dams I don't check your DM's I don't really feel like I need to you you tell me all about anyway what are you hoping ...

Interdisciplinary sex therapist, Jamila M. Dawson, joins Jess and Brandon in to discuss how sexual pleasure can be part of healing from trauma, the elements of happy relationships, how to be emotionally present, strategies for responding to anxiety and rejection, power dynamics in therapy and much more. Jamila sees suffering not as a failure of your body or your mind but as responses to a culture that has damaging and unhealthy views on sex, religion, relationships, bodies, race, and gender. Her work is strongly rooted in somatic practices, self-discovery, social justice, and helping clients navigate not just their own relationships, but the cultures in which they live. Her success with clients is shaped by her pleasure-based, trauma informed framework and her concept of the 5 C’s (Curiosity, Creativity, Collaboration, Courage, Compassion). Her goal is to break down sexual stigma and help people design mindful, vibrant relationships. Listen to this episode to get started today! Follow Jamila on Twitter & Instagram. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Expand Pleasure, Navigate Trauma, Manage Anxiety & Have More Fulfilling Relationships 00:00:10 - 00:05:10 relationship advice you can use tonight you're listening to the sacs with dr jasser podcast sacks wins owning and considering your own power is sex therapist activist in speaker jamila m dawson from los angeles back to communicate having those difficult conversations are so fruitful in terms of the results well here to talk about those difficult conversation the last few days so that's thanks to the sex down south conference which is a conference down in atlanta and you attended a session are attended a session on for board i started i used to work in the film industry and the company i was working for was going under and one day saw an advertisement getting in navigating the the gentleman that was presenting disgust his his sexual about sex helping people you know they would come in and seem very ashamed and quiet in their body language was so kind of hunched over will feelings and how his desires is probably a better description of what he shared with the group and it was it was interesting it was and some of the strongest miss creative most powerful people i know are s types you create things run things and to that's an i relate to that our dynamics there's still kind of meth that if you're an ass type of your slave or even a submissive that your doormat that you have no will of your own curious about socks even though my family's rather conservative and sir working at the store and i just fell in love fell in love with reading about sex all day talking great great feeling definitely know i'm feeling i'm feeling good i'm feeling inspired him feeling like i've learned tape like a like MS dynamics that's the so for me it's not like i like very intense authority exchange and that feels uh all day long so why would somebody who is so powerful want to be an ass tight want to be a submissive want to play a slave role i'm in this person and to me when you know that you have value then you can give that to somebody if you know you have no value you've given nothing thanks for being here it's wonderful to be here thank you you are a s...

Porn performer and Master Fetish Trainer, King Noire, joins Jess and Brandon to share his story as a community activist, porn star, hip hop artist and father. He discusses fetishes, sexual oppression and repression, and his journey in the worlds kink, porn, music and parenthood. King started working in porn when he was 18 and then he took a break before returning to the field as a producer alongside his life partner, Jet Setting Jasmine; he shares insights as to how his role and expectations have changed over the years. Follow King on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Nikki Morgan shares insights to help you consider new ways to approach orgasm using your breath, movements, thoughts and more. She discusses ways to step outside your comfort zone and be more positive about your body. Follow Nikki on Instagram & Twitter. Be sure to also follow The Touch Experience on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. Also check out Nikki's upcoming events below, and find more info out on her website. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Touchless Orgasms 00:00:05 - 00:26:42 you're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight welcome them to the sex with dr jess podcast i'm your co host brandon where here with my lovely partner dr jess hey hey think ever stop calling you dr jess it's kinky doctor i'm gonna roll with it you know at the dinner table you can call me just but in bed i want dr sure problem i like you to say yes dr just no doctor okay more doctor dr stop stops dove before we get started a big thank you to our sponsors desire experience check them out clothing optional cruises clothing optional adult only resorts on the mayan riviera era at desire experience today we have the pleasure of being joined by clinical sexologist and immersive healing ealing artist nicky morgan thanks for being here oh thank you for having me i've been reading about your work i've been hearing about it through the grapevine grapevine you offer an experience called the touch loose orgasm i do i do now i've been in touch this car washing that's really cool i think in high school and may have had a touch of oregon you're allowed that you're so boxers count no probably close though oh wow now as much as i liked the touch loose car wash i can't imagine that it compares to touch us orgasms orgasms so can you walk us through what this experience looks like from the gecko sure sure what it looks like it doesn't look like much right so it just looks like someone is laying down in front of me and i'm waving my hands over them and sometimes their bodies convulsed sometimes they just let go sometimes they get very vocal it's it says numerous as orgasms in general but what's actually happening behind the scenes this is one i am assisting them in silencing their corp. body and i am working from the space of week come from pleasure we come from absolute love we come from infinite so when we silence is the observation of our physical then we are able to access other and other is so much more and so some people have experiences of leaving their body sometimes and it's not by no means do i give the orgasm i only allow or assist in in and helping them to observe the other so if there is a lots of trauma they'll be able to know exactly where that trauma lies is in their body we can identify it and they have the choice of surrendering to it or we can take take a break and return to it but ideally that universal energy that we all share the thing that animates us when we allow ourselves to surrender under to that it it allows for waves of of pleasure and and oneness and you know some very psychedelic like experiences and so is it just you in the room walk us through the entire experience so it is just me in the room when it's a private session touches or...

How do you practice safe, sane, consensual kink “in color”? What is fire-play? How do you navigate master-slave relationships? And how do you understand a submissive’s needs? Shanae Adams aka Honestly Nae, joins Jess and Brandon to share their insights as professional Dominatrix and kink educator. Follow Shanae on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Youtube. Also check out their sex-positive collaborative in Denver, The Chrysalis House. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. PechaKucha: Kink & BDSM with Honestly Nae 00:00:05 - 00:05:09 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jeff podcast. I'm your co host Brandon. Wear and I'm here to didn't know if you're gonNA chime in or not Dr Jess I was waiting for. I'm with my partner the lovely doctor just isn't that what you usually say what I say but you. I thought you were going to chime in all right well. I'm here now and I want to give a big. Thank you to desire resorts. Desire Desire cruises check them out online at desire experience. Today we are so fortunate to be joined by honestly honestly nee sex educator professional. Dom Dom instructor you go by the name. Sire uh-huh explained to US Sire Siren King spaces 'cause I'm royalty and you will just me such so yes sire no sire more sire. Oh man it just got really seriously though remind Brennan of last night with me pretty much yeah she wants to be addressed now slightly different language but the same message now you are a Bedia educator a kink educator. You are going to be a sex therapist opening a practice very soon yes and you and I were in North Carolina. we determined that not says here not mid. Carolina north one the northbound four the North Carolina Conference Convention Ya going to mention it was amazing. It was brilliant. It was so well done and one of my favorite events at this conference was the Petra Coochie Night Ketchup Coochie Patrick Uji pitch couture pet set your coochie. Cut Your coochie with consent so Pacha Kucha is a presentation style where you show twenty images his each for twenty seconds and you talk for twenty seconds per image to tell a story and there were twelve presenters that night you were one of the presenters presented Kink in color yes celebrating black bodies in King spaces and I would love and Brennan has been requesting because he started to watch it on your instagram and your instagram is honestly may so he wants to see and hear the rest of it so you're going to run through your Petukhov Petukhov presentation for us all right now all right all right here we go are so I am honestly May Sexuality Professional by day which basically basically means that I host comprehensive education workshops talk about healthy relationships and consider in reproductive justice and contraception all the things right but but by night I am Sire Professional Dominatrix you will adjust address me as such in King spaces. Yes sire no sire more sire and and as a professional dominatrix. I get to help people live out their kinky or they bedia some fantasies in a safe way in I get to help people kind of explore that outside of themselves now. My journey started when I was in high school.

Jet Setting Jasmine is a licensed clinical therapist, co-owner of Royal Fetish Films (an adult film production company), and an adult entertainer. She combines her love of the arts, film and sex education to produce erotica that stimulates and engages the audience to push their sexual boundaries. Jasmine joins Jess and Brandon to share thoughtful insights on her life as a therapist, mother, performer and entrepreneur. She talks about directing porn (including a recent threesome scene starring her life partner, King Noire), the value and appeal of ethical porn, how porn performers balance their own pleasure with the need to perform for the camera, and strategies for staying in the moment when faced with distractions. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Jet Setting Jasmine: Mother, Porn Performer, Director & Licensed Therapist 00:00:05 - 00:05:18 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jasser podcast. I'm your co host. Brandon wear here with my lovely partner Dr Jess. Hey how you doing today babe. I'm great. I'm feeling good. You're feeling good well today. We are joined by Jet Setting Jasmine. I licensed clinical therapist owner of Blue Pearl. Therapy wears many hats including including adult performer sex educator. I know you own a number of businesses. What are you up to right now. What's on your radar on my Iradar right now is trying to balance family and all of those and I think that has been that is like my number one goal and challenge challenge right now. It's not it's not one particular thing. It really is striking the right balance with our family. We have an eighteen year old. Hold a fifteen year old and a one year old yes so the fifteen year old should be watching that one year old bruce thing I thought auto yes no and that's how it works so and we travel a lot for our business. So King King wires my partner and the biggest thing for us is how do we keep our family together and still honor the lifestyle that we wanna live and the work that we WANNA do and part of that is traveling with the family as much as possible so yes. The fifteen year old is flying in tonight. she pretty much on the road Friday through Sunday so she can watch your brother and we can haul around in the eighteen year old was doing hurricane prep while we were gone last week and you know so super super awesome kids very responsible but it is striking about kids right and what a cool life for a teenager to get to fly out to different places. I know you're in the northeast and the New York area. You're in the Poconos does your and now you're down in Atlanta and I know the fifteen year old hasn't arrived yet but last night you were shooting. Can you tell us about the shoot so thankfully were in that. Lennon have family here so my sister came in. older sister says you've got to spend some time with her nephew. so this shoot was it was my first like true who director debut wear. I am doing a short documentary on women producing and directing porn yeah so I have directed before either co-directed or directed and starred but there's something very different about being completely out out of the scene and having being responsible...

Sex therapist Shamyra Howard joins Jess to talk about how to have happier relationships — with yourself, family, friends and partner(s). She talks about how to apologize effectively and why your partner doesn’t want you to be sorry — they want you to be better. Shamyra also offers strategies to: Manage jealousy and overcome insecurities Validate your partner and differentiate between validation and affirmation Understand differences as opposed to simply accepting them Check out Shamyra's Sexuality Superhero feature here. See some more of Shamyra's pearls of wisdom below... View this post on Instagram You know what's sexy? Vulnerability is a word we use often but what does it mean for relationships and why does it matter? Relationships are all about feeling safe enough to take emotional risks knowing that this person has the ability to hurt you, but relying on your own ability to trust yourself to show up. This happens best with an emotionally responsive partner. When you respond to your partner's emotional vulnerability with emotional security that creates connection. That's Intimacy. That's Sexy. #mondaynightraw A post shared by Shamyra (@sexologistshamyra) on Sep 9, 2019 at 7:32pm PDT View this post on Instagram Stop faking orgasms! #mondaynightraw Faking orgasms contribute to the orgasm gap that we are working to end. Taking ownership of your sexual pleasure is sexy! Let's do it! A post shared by Shamyra (@sexologistshamyra) on Sep 2, 2019 at 7:13pm PDT View this post on Instagram Potential is great, but. That's it!! Most people have potential, but what they do with it counts most! Monday Night Raw A post shared by Shamyra (@sexologistshamyra) on Aug 26, 2019 at 7:49pm PDT This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Deal With Insecurities, Neediness and Apologies 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can US tonight. Hey Hey just a riley here and very excited today to be joined by sexologist Chamara sex therapist sexologist logistic extraordinaire the creator of the US your mouth conversation starter cards. Let's talk about those. Do you want me to do with my mouth eight and so that was the first thing my husband said when he saw the question he got the first Cardi Pool was use your mouth and he's well what I have to do and I say clearly. You didn't read the direction car so these are conversation starter car so as you mentioned I'm a sex therapist right on the green couch. is my practice and and what I realized is that couples talk about sex or their relationship. What they usually talk about is what we're going to eat for dinner tomorrow. The kids need this for school. Oh All we'd have to do this. These bills are paid for the business stuff and so when I ask them stuff about their relationships and even sex they're like looking at each other like do you know this do. I know this into and so these cars are really a fun way to help them. Increase the intimacy in and out of the bedroom so they are really fun. I've sold over eight hundred of these these cards eight hundred decks yes of these cards and I keep getting lots an...

Austin-based sex therapist, Adam Maurer, joins Jess to share straightforward insights for happier relationships. They discuss JODO, setting boundaries, managing let-down, dealing with personality differences (e.g. introverts versus extroverts) and a simple weekly ritual to improve communication, understanding and intimacy. Follow Adam on Instagram, and check out moontowercounseling.com. Adam will also be in the Bedpost Confessions from October 23-25. Check it out! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Jess discusses emotional vulnerability, sexual shame, strategies for discussing sexual needs, why some people cheat and the Madonna/whore dichotomy with Toronto-based sex therapist, Kat Kova. Kat also helps Jess to open up about her greatest sexual fear. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Overcome Sexual Fear, Open Up and Share Deeper Intimacy 00:00:05 - 00:05:24 You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can us tonight. Hey hey hey this is just a rally your friendly neighborhood sexologist and i am joined today by individual couple and sex therapist toronto-based cat cova. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Now your leisure your sex therapist. What drew you to the world of sex therapy. Yes so. I'm your friendly neighborhood sex there. and it's so funny i actually people don't really believe me when i say this but i wanted to be a sex therapist. From the age of ten i i was so in love with a doctor sue johanneson on the sunday night sex show and what i found to be so interesting about her was that she just delivered education and in an entertaining way and she seemed to really be meeting the need that that didn't seem to be met anywhere else that i was exposed to and so for better or worse yeah that's kind kind of how i got into it and i always really wanted to develop into someone that i felt like was missing in my life who i wanted to talk to when i was a little kid so that's kind of part of my story so sue johannesen had a nationally syndicated television show in canada. It used to be on sunday night so she. She was sort of our canadian version of dr ruth. She was a little bit more subdued than dr ruth right a little bit less of a caricature you say i i found her to be outrageous. I mean have you seen her on conan o'brien. Yes she's very funny. She likes drops a dildo to her. I don't remember that she's about the eighty or so. I mean i thought she was eighty back when she was on the show in the eighties so i i can't imagine but she was really great at what she did and she really did it. Just deliver the goods matter of fact of course people will look back and say oh but she said this or she said that yes. It was twenty thirty years ago. Some things have changed but she was a trailblazer in the field so you followed in her footsteps. Did you go straight and steady sexuality right away or is it a path that kind of led back to to where you are today yeah. It's definitely something that i was led back to you because they didn't tell anyone at the age of hand. I wanted to be a sex therapist. I thought they would really look let me look. I was very strange and people still do by the way because it's very unorthodox particularly in my community which is the serbian community and it was something that i really decided on when i was about twenty two and i was alone in tokyo jio working there and decided i really wanna do something that has a lot of purpose in my life. When i was in tokyo is working in a job that i didn't really like take a year off from school so it was between my b._a. In psychology and then i decided to do a certificate and sexuality studies at york university versity and went on to do my...

How can you reduce the negative effects of technology on your relationship? And how can you move on and rebuild after you’ve cheated on your partner? Jess and Brandon share their thoughts in response to listener questions. Oftentimes when we ask something of our partner, we need to begin with ourselves. Before you try to convince your partner to put down their phone, ask yourself if you need to do the same. Even if you allow it to interfere to a lesser degree, every time you’re on yours, they're likely to pick up their own. And when it comes to cheating: you can move on and have a happy relationship after an affair. Begin by taking responsibility, getting help, tracking your progress, and making space for negative feelings and interactions. Please see some rough notes below... How do I get my wife to put down her phone? Great question! Oftentimes when we ask something of our partner, we need to begin with ourselves. I was working with a group of couples the other day and one group was complaining that their partners were always on their phones checking emails and working. They were really chastising them and the message was, “oh we’d have more sex if you didn’t work so much and you’d put down your phones”. This was directed specifically at entrepreneurs, because this was an entrepreneur group who brought their partners to my session. But then the entrepreneur group turned around and reminded their partners that they too are almost always on their phones — they’re scrolling through feeds, updating social media, reading articles — they may not be working in the paid sense, but they’re still allowing technoference to interfere in their connection. So before you try to convince your wife to put down her phone, ask yourself if you need to do the same. Even if you allow it to interfere to a lesser degree, every time you’re on yours, she is likely to pick up her own. Technoference is becoming the norm in relationship. Research shows that the mere presence of a phone detracts from concentration, presence, connection and trust. In one study, they compared interactions in three scenarios: phone on the table, phone in your pocket and phone outside of the room. The third scenario was associated with the highest levels of trust, empathy and intimacy. And it’s not just about distraction. Blue light can interfere with sleep, which adversely affects relationships. The light emitted by phones, laptops and and tablet devices (even when set to silent mode) is “short-wavelength-enriched”, which means that it contains high levels of blue light which interferes with the sleep-supporter hormone, melatonin. When we don’t get a good night’s sleep, we’re more likely to engage in conflict with our partner, less adept at resolving these conflicts, more likely to made poor food choices and less inclined toward sex. Minimizing technoference can be easier and more successful if you choose specific strategies and roll them out one at a time as opposed to trying to overhaul your entire lifestyle or trying to change everything at once. I’m going to share some of the strategies that work for my clients, but you don’t have to do them all. I suggest you try one at a time. 1. Have a phone-free dinner. In the past, we didn’t have to go out of our way to take a tech-break, but leaving the phones at home (or in the car if you’re dining at home) is a simple way to ensure that you’re present and connected to your partner — instead of being connected to your 300 "best friends". 2. Go for a walk, bike ride or drive without using your map app. Technology is grand and can help you to see more relevant places in a shorter period of time, but it can also detract from discovery and the excitement of the unknown. Once in awhile, whether you’re on vacation exploring a new city or simply wandering the streets of your own neighbourhood, opt to leave the map at home (or just keep the app closed) so you can discover new streets, cafes,

Our old friend Mikey Singer joins us to talk about how to prioritize intimacy and sex after you’ve had a baby. Parenthood changes the household dynamic, but it can be for the better. To learn more about We-Vibe and its products, click here. Get your tickets to MomFest now by clicking here. Jess is looking forward to seeing you all on September 10th! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex & Intimacy After a Baby Insights From A New Dad 00:00:00 - 00:05:17 Welcome to the sex with dr podcast. I'm your co host. Brendan wear here with my lovely partner dr jess. Hey hey we have a special guest with us today. His name is mikey senior. He is a brand new daddy so it's kind of weird when you say like that not in kinky sense in a literal sense he had a baby. He's a brand new dad. He's a good friend of brandon's. Let's not give mikey too much. I'm going to start giving him a hard time. Let's not give mikey too much credit here. His partner had a baby well. He was part of it. He deposited his sperm. I did a lot of it are you. You saying you were on top o- ente- behind wherever she needed me to be and then i was support you know i- supreme support role hang on are we talking about during the making of the baby or the delivery of the baby all senses of even even now caring for the navy like a husband's role is support staff staff. That's that's what we do. We support staff in the sex. We supports that pregnancy and we support staff in like actual raising the child. I okay hey i don't like the support staff and the raising the child but we'll get to that but i really like the support staff during the sex really you look at me as a support staff during coitus toyotas i can i can lean on you. I can bend on you. I can angle my hips on you. I like it. It's interesting when we talk about this because during the sex it's very much. Let me get what works for me. That's what i'm saying. We're the support staff. You're like. Oh just just a little bit. Just move a bit too. Oh that's perfect going. A little higher up got no perfect. Are you still here. That's like oh. You're so here and then two point now that i've got mine. Go down rub my feet. Yes i am a supreme particularly but that's part of the support staff like when in your wife is pregnant and those are very swollen. Your job is to massage the however . Maybe i'll get pregnant just for the foot rubs now. Mike and i go way back doc. I said he's brandon's friend but he started as my friend and brennan does this. He walks in. He's charming funny more likable than myself and then they become they become friends but that's okay. My world's are colliding. Mikey used to be the co owner of the everything to do with sex show which was a trade show on the eastern side of canada a huge show with twenty five thousand thirty five thousand attendees over the course of a weekend. We learned a lot together. I'm pretty sure i've spanked him. We've done things in the dungeon together other. We've done things on stage together. You bullied me in my hotel room. I don't even know what you're talking about. just would never let me go to asleep because you know you've worked for in three days. You'd work seventy two hours and just be like oh you got to g...

How do know if you’re sexually repressed or if your partner is holding you back? What is sexual empowerment and how can you overcome repression to feel more empowered? Jess and Brandon discuss their experiences and share personal insights. How do I know if I’m sexually repressed and if my partner is involved in making me feel this way? I hear about sexual empowerment and that’s how I want to be. Sexual empowerment and sexual repression are not static states of being, but experiences that fluctuate over time. You may feel repressed one day and empowered the next. You may experience empowerment in one sexual scenario and struggle to overcome the repression with which you were raised. The experience of sexual repression (which is universal) does not mean that “repressed” is a part of your sexual identity, as sexuality is fluid. You may feel empowered on your own, but you may be socially repressed because of your gender, sexual orientation, race, age, ability or body type. While empowerment and overcoming sexual repression may be admiral goals, it’s important to look at the ways in which systemic oppression wreak havoc on our sexual identities and sexual expression. If, however, you feel that your own attitude or behaviours (or those of your partner) are resulting in feelings of sexual repression, you might consider whether or not... 1. Your partner (or society) shames you for your sexual desires or fantasies. This is a serious red flag and a sign that you may not be compatible. Compatibility can be cultivated, but if they judge you for your sexual desires, you may find difficulty finding common ground. What to do: Talk to them about the judgment. Call it what it is. Ask them to explain the source of this judgment. How does it make them feel? Are they struggling to overcome a sexual issue and are they projecting their negative feelings on to you? If they’re willing to work on this, you can find a path to compatibility. If they continue to shame or judge you (without acknowledging their own hangups and baggage), you may want to consider whether they’re the right sexual partner for you. 2. You feel guilty about masturbating or enjoying sex. Masturbation is common, pleasurable and healthy for people of all genders. However, many of us are raised to believe that it’s a dirty little secret and overcoming these negative messages can be a challenge. What to do: Examine the reasons why masturbation is shameful. Make a list with two columns: Why it’s bad and why it’s good. Consider the pros against the cons to approach sex and masturbation with a more rational (and less moral) lens. 3. You enjoy sex, but feel ashamed or embarrassed after engaging in sex that brings you pleasure. What to do: Consider the messages you received about sex growing up. Look at them from an evidence-based perspective. Look for scientific reasons why you shouldn’t enjoy sex and why you should feel ashamed. And then look for reasons why you deserve to enjoy sex. Here are a few: Improved sexual functioning. Self-pleasure can help you to become more familiar with your own body and its unique sexual responses. You’ll likely become better at asking for what you want during partnered sex as a result of your self-pleasure sessions. Boosted body confidence. Masturbation not only fosters a positive connection with your body, but it can boost self-esteem. When your body performs (through a sport, a dance or a session of pleasure), you experience an increase in confidence and tend to focus on its strong points as opposed to its “problems”. Heightened sexual desire. Masturbation is elemental to increasing desire in many cases, as it helps us to learn about our own bodies and reactions. Self-pleasure also increases the likelihood of orgasm and is connected with higher self-esteem. Moreover, as your body relishes in the dopamine and endorphin release, you are more likely to crave more,

Jess & Brandon address a listener who wants to “convince” his wife to fulfill his fantasy. They discuss the appeal of public sex and how you can build upon your fantasies in a safe way and incorporate your partner. Please see some summary notes from this podcast below: I may be weird but I want to have sex in public. How can I convince my wife to fulfill this fantasy? Public sex carries an element of risk, which can heighten excitement, desire, passion and intimacy — if you balance this risk to ensure personal safety. I often suggest that the formula for a lasting relationship involves cultivating so much love, safety, trust and respect that you can engage in non-sexual behaviours and/or explore fantasies that are a little risky. Having sex in public is one example of an activity that can heighten passion without huge risk as long as you consider your local laws. Not everyone consents to watching or hearing you have sex, so be mindful and respectful of others’ boundaries. If you go shopping with your younger sibling or child, you don't want to hear a couple having sex in the next fitting room. If you go for a walk with your grandmother, you don’t expect to see a couple getting it on behind a tree. You can experiment with elements of public sex without exposing yourself to non-consenting parties. Consider the time, place, lighting and other logistics as you explore this fantasy. A public park or parking lot at 3am likely provides less privacy than it does at 2am. But you don’t have to have sex in front of a crowd to benefit from the thrill of public sex. Consider the following strategies to enjoy the risk and reward without reaping negative consequences: 1. Have sex on your own property — on the balcony or in your yard (in the dark), for example. You’ll enjoy the thrill of being outdoors and the threat of being watched or caught, but you can control the degree of exposure and slip back inside at any point in time. Be sure to turn off the outdoor and indoor lights so that your neighbours won’t be able to see you in action. Other semi-public options include the car, single-stall restrooms and fitting rooms. 2. Expand your definitions of sex. Don’t get hung up on P-V intercourse. Time and space won’t always allow for all types of sex, so get your quickie on using your hands, lips, tongue and even toys — consider a wearable toy like the new We-Vibe Moxie. Wear it while shopping and give your partner the reins of control (using the remote control or the WeConnect smartphone app). 3. You don’t have to “finish”. Obviously there is no universal finish line for sex, but oftentimes, we become focused on reaching orgasm as the ultimate goal. Instead of striving to climax in a public space, consider getting started in public with dirty talk, discreet touching, sexting, rubbing through clothing under the table and other activities before moving into a private space to follow up. 4. Go to a sex club or event where on-site sex is permitted. You can enjoy the thrill of exhibitionism without the risk of violating others’ consent. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Bringing Fantasy to Reality: Public Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sa...

Karen B.K. Chan, joins Jess and Brandon on the podcast to discuss rejection. How can we manage rejection? And when we feel rejected, how can we embrace it? How do we develop resilience and emotional literacy and to navigate uncomfortable social situations. Listen now and learn more! The following is a rough transcript of the introduction to this podcast: When was the last time you felt rejected — in work, socially, or otherwise? I feel rejected often because I talk to strangers so often. The other day I was walking down the street and I said good afternoon to a woman and she didn’t reply. The way I read the situation was that she looked up at me, mouth agape and then averted her gaze. I felt as though she was irritated with me and though that may have not been the case - she may have been shy or felt threatened or simply didn't know what to say, but I remember feeling irritated. But I was only irritated because I felt rejected. I also feel rejected when I try to make conversation with people and they seem uninterested. When I play Ultimate, I often play with new players or new teams or new subs and some people really like to chat on the sidelines and others clearly aren’t interested. I always try to make conversation because I’m chatty and sometimes I get one word answers and I take it personally. But of course, it’s not their responsibility to make sure I manage my own feelings of rejection. They may not want to talk because they’re into the game. They may not be in the mood. They may just not really like me. And I’m sensitive about this. Sometimes when I’m in certain spaces, I feel like I’m being rejected because of my race, because of my occupation, because of my appearance if I don’t fit in. But this is on me. I grew up thinking people in Toronto were snobby and at some points in my life, I had a chip on my shoulder because of this. And I think it’s because I wasn’t being honest about how I felt. I wasn’t owning the feelings of rejection. And feelings of rejection are tough. They’re psychological and physiological. Evolutionary theorists suggest that because we come from hunter-gatherers, we needed the community to survive. When we felt rejected by the group, we feared for our lives because we simply couldn’t survive on our own. It stems from a life or death situation and it’s a warning system for our own protection. Of course, we no longer live in the wild, so we no longer need to allow rejection to scare us. In fact, we’ll be better off if we embrace rejection. MRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain and pain medications like Acetaminophen can reduce emotional pain. But emotional pain can feel more intense than physical pain because we can recall it, and because when we face emotional pain like the pain of rejection, we tend to self-sabotage and be harder on ourselves. If you get a bruise, you don’t ruminate about it, but we tend to be self-critical when faced with emotional rejection. I want to talk about rejection because I think we’re getting it all wrong. I think we fear it too intensely and it’s time to embrace it. We often talk about the power of vulnerability and how much it can improve self-esteem, relationships and fulfillment. And rejection is a part of this vulnerability. Rather than avoiding or dismissing rejection, I want us to embrace it and learn from it. Joining us to discuss how to handle rejection is BK Chan. BK is sex and emotional literacy educator. BK has an Emotional Intelligence online course you can access here. The following is a rough transcript of the podcast conclusion: Rejection is a life skill. There are so many pearls of wisdom to pull from BK’s insights and even though I’ve only met BK a few times, she is one of my favourite people I’ve ever had the privilege of speaking to and spending time with. If I have to pull one action item out of BK’s many insig...

Julie Peters, author of Want: 8 Steps to Recovering Desire, Passion, and Pleasure After Sexual Assault, shares her insights regarding recovery and the return to desire, sexuality, trust, and pleasure after assault. Her approach is grounded in gratitude, mindfulness and pleasure and is relevant to survivors of all genders as well as the general population. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex & Pleasure After Sexual Assault 00:00:05 - 00:05:24 You're listening to the SAX with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight . Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon wear and I'm just so Riley your friendly neighborhood sexologist before four we get started. I want to say a big. Thank you desire resorts and cruises for their ongoing support of our little podcast here you can find out more about desire and their clothing optional cruises and resorts at Desire Experience joining us today is Julie Peters the author of want eight steps to recovering desire passion and pleasure after sexual assault. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey that led to in writing this book absolutely yes so I was assaulted quite a few years ago now in a sort of a date rape kind of context it with someone that that I knew really well entrusted a good friend and I just kind of went through this journey afterwards where I've found that my like my life had just sorta lost its color and it took me a long time to kind of recognize what was happening and that I had experienced trauma essentially really and one of the questions that I really had as I was going through that was like where is my sexual desire like what happened to my body. Why don't I feel like I want to feel connected with anybody in that way and so you know I did some research late night google? What do you do like you've been assaulted and you know what is it and the best advice I could get at? The time was just don't until you want to which I thought was really. I mean sure fair enough but like there's so much more the Matt and so I kind of figure it out on my own and this book is really everything that I learned during that time using my yoga meditation practices and all kinds of other things to kind of find my way not only back to sexual desire but really to in new way of understanding outstanding my sexuality and a new way of feeling connected in my body and feeling like I was kind of having color not only again but sort of in new it's interesting because after trauma we often talk about connecting to your body and has a yoga instructor and a Yoga Practitioner. You probably are very much connected to your body but that doesn't always mean that it's sexual or Roddick yeah absolutely and sort of depending on who you ask there are lots of spiritual traditions that really see sex as dangerous as sort of like an energy that could disrupt your spiritual path and one of the things that really helped me as I was kind of going on this journey was I'm learning about Tom Tra- as sort of a different perspective on that so you know a lot of the one of the ethical precepts of Yoga is Brahmachari which is usually translated celibacy...

Loveline's host, Dr. Chris Donaghue joins Jess and Brandon to share insights from his latest book, Rebel Love: Break The Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits and Have the Best Sex of Your Life. They discuss porn addiction, solo-sexuality, body image, toxic masculinity, the drawbacks of monogamy and the habits we need to break to tap into authentic sexuality. Thank you to We-Vibe and Womanizer for bringing Dr. Donaghue to Toronto! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dr. Donaghue on Toxic Monogamy, Body Neutrality & Erectile Disappointment 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight . Welcome to the sex with Dr Just podcast. I'm your co host Brandon wear and I am accompanied by my ravishing partner Dr Jess I asked him to do my intro and that's what I got. That's the bad was it all right. I think that's pretty cool or cool. What was wrong with that? We're GONNA be talking about some interesting subjects today and before we get started. I want to say thank you to desire resorts for their ongoing support poor checkout at desire experienced for clothing optional cruising clothing optional resorts. You should also check out temptation resorts sister company that is open to singles groups threesomes couples and more they're not clothing optional but they are topless optional and I'm sure there are some rooms or secret crevices you can sneak into and get bottomless now what I'm really waiting for we have clothing optional resorts. We have topless optional resorts. When are we going bottomless optional resorts? Hopefully never you know those classy places where you keep your top on but shirk cock down Nevada also known as shirt caulking king yet sure caulking. I guess where you wear a shirt but your penis is hanging out the bottom. You'll agreed said no one ever at assure cocking event hang on what if you're wearing a fanny pack. Oh yeah took it up a notch or ten I have I have seen in the shirt talking with the fanny pack and you know I think I was a bit of a fan of it. Fanny Pack Fan Really L.. I didn't even mean to do that so before we get started with our interview and we've got a really cool guest. Today I was reading this headline that women men under the age of thirty dream about sex three times as often as their grandma's did fifty years ago a really surprising though you know what I think we just are more open to who admitting it sometimes when I see numbers that relate to increase in sexual desire or frequency or behavior. I think that it has to do with a willingness to admit it but you'd Grandma's had their freak on. They probably got probably had some crazy kinky awesome thoughts lots just never told anyone about them. Have you had any extremes lately I have how and it was with someone totally not like into knocking to name drop but I woke up thinking wow that was not what I expected to dream about last night at all. Was it a good dream no even in the dream I was like man. That's actually what I remember thinking I'm like. Are we really doing this. I had a nightmare last night. It wasn't about sex I had this nightmare that I told off someone in my family. I said everything I wanted to say to this person and then it was Christmas Eve in my dream and my mom was r...

In this episode, we talk about a fight we had the other day and our top three strategies for resolving conflict in our marriage. We also discuss Airpod sex, Canadian open relationships & millennial marriage with reference to two recent studies. ***Please find a rough version of this transcript below.*** Welcome! We had a short fight about pretty much nothing last weekend and it reminded me that I had committed to talking about how we resolve arguments, so today we’ll be talking about our arguments and how we resolve them. But first. A new study suggests that 20 percent of people with AirPods wear them during sex… And a Canadian study is on my radar today too. Researchers from the University of British Columbia looked at data from a nationally representative survey of about 2,000 Canadian adults. They found that four per cent of those in relationships reported being in an open relationship, while 20 percent reported having been in an open relationship in the past. Meanwhile, more than one in ten (12 percent) reported that open relationships were their "ideal relationship type.” Does this surprise you? And I also want to mention another study suggesting that millennials are giving up a big milestone in order to save for a home. They’re skipping marriage because of the cost of real estate. Rather than buying an engagement ring and spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding, they’re skipping the wedding and saving for a house. But here’s the thing: a wedding doesn’t have to cost you tens of thousands of dollars. You can save for a house and get married if you want to if you stop making your wedding a financially burdensome affair. If you think the institution of marriage is outdated, I hear you. And you don’t have to get married. But if you want to get married and you’re avoiding it because of the costs, just remember that a wedding doesn’t have to break the bank. And as I said last week, please stop planning your weddings and start planning your marriages. If you think planning a wedding is stressful or you find it overwhelming, you’re probably going to find a lifetime of commitment, cohabitation, cultivating intimacy and possibly co-parenting even more overwhelming, so forget the menu and the flowers and the napkins and the seating arrangements and redirect that energy into talking to your partner about how you plan to spend money for the rest of your life, how you plan to integrate your families in your lives, how you plan to have kids if that’s in the plans and how you plan to have sex potentially with only one person until death do you part. Now back to the matter at hand or the one I’m avoiding — our fights and arguments. Over the weekend, we were in Montreal and we got into a tiff on Saturday afternoon over pretty much nothing. If I tell the story it’s going to sound ridiculous. So I’m going to try to tell it. 1. We admit when crankiness is to blame. Sometimes arguments are about nothing. They’re not indicative of an underlying issue. They’re not intended to move the relationship forward and improve understanding. They’re simply a result of a mad mood or a lack of patience. And it can be hard when you know you’re the one at fault to step back and say mea culpa. It can feel overwhelming to take responsibility when you’re physiologically flooded and you’ve been diving in for the past ten minutes about some ridiculous issue. In fact, it can feel ridiculous to backpedal after you’ve been trying to prove a point or show just how right you are and admit that everything you said makes no sense at all and you’re sorry. This only works if your partner isn’t in it to win it. If you have a partner you is focused on winning an argument or being right, you’re not going to want to stop and say, “Yeah...I’m sorry. I’m being unreasonable. Forgive me.” You need a partner who’s willing to look past your temporarily irrational behaviour and see the big picture and say “I get it.”

Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener questions related to breakups, rough patches, managing jealousy in the age of social media and wedding planning anxieties. **Please find a rough transcript below for this episode.** How do I not get jealous when it seems like everyone else is so happy - especially on social media? First - know that your comparisons aren’t realistic. Comparing your real-life relationship to the highlight reels that other couples post on social media will inevitably produce an unsatisfactory result. Photos, videos and other edited posts offer a momentary snapshot that is incomplete, condensed and/or scripted and your life is far more complex than one post can illustrate. I don’t post about the fact that I ate a chocolate bar that I took from the plane for breakfast this morning, or that my tummy is hurting. I don’t post about the fact that the sex we had the other night was really weird and sort of uncomfortable. I don’t post about being constipated or the fact that I had a terrible night last night and came home pissy over traffic and my team losing in a sort of frustrating game of Ultimate. So first and foremost, know that you’re comparing your regular life to less than 1% of someone else’s life. Next, know that jealous is normal. Admit to it. Identify if there is something they have that you want. And then identify what you can do about it. Some jealousy can help you to feel inspired, so when it comes to what you see on social media, calculated comparisons can be useful. As long as you realize that social media offers only one depiction of a multi-faceted relationship, it can be useful to learn from other couples. For example, perhaps you follow a couple who prioritizes health and fitness and at times it motivates you to to the same. Or perhaps you follow a couple who travels and you use their itineraries as inspiration for your next trip. Experiences of normative jealousy can be helpful if they help you to recognize what you want and how you can change your thoughts and behaviour to deepen fulfilment. If, however, feeling jealousy leads to distressful thoughts (e.g. feeling badly about yourself), they can be damaging. Once you’ve acknowledged the emotion, you can examine why you’re feeling it and what you might do about it. What shifts can you make — behaviourally and cognitively — to learn from this feeling. How can you use jealous feelings to look at what you feel you’re missing and make changes OR accept your circumstances in the case of things you can’t change. For example, if you feel jealous of another person’s financial success and you acknowledge this feeling, you may be able to take steps to improve your own confidence or make adjustments to your own finances. You’ll also want to look at ways to build confidence overall. If you admire or covet something somebody else has, what can you do to achieve/embody this in your own life? You can’t have everything they have, but you can make changes to the way you think and the way you behave right now. And finally, consider the evidence that supports your jealousy. Should you really feel jealous or is it an irrational emotional response? If a friend came to you with the same problem and feelings, what would you say? I should note that envy often refers to negative emotions directed at another/others (e.g. resentment, malevolence) whereas jealousy often refers to longing for something that someone else has. If you’re feeling envious, you’ll want to really work to address the underlying jealousy because it’s exhausting to live your life directing anger and malevolence at other people. My husband and I are going through a rough patch and it feels like we’ve been fighting for years. We barely even touch anymore. We had a heart to heart last week and agreed to spend the full weekend together next week when he comes back into town. He works over 500 miles away. We want to take this time to reconnect - it’s actually ...

Burlesque sensation, Pastel Supernova, joins Jess and Brandon to talk about her experiences with dating, love and relationships. She shares insights on building self confidence, loving your body, and overcoming nervousness and performance pressure. Find out more about Burlesque Uni and Love Letters Cabaret here. If you want to know more about Moontower Counseling, click here. See Pastel in action below on Global TV's The Morning Show below! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dating, Confidence, & Sex Appeal A Burlesque Dancers Perspective 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr just podcast brought to you by desire resorts in cruises. I'm your co host Brandon wear, and I'm here to just Riley, your friendly sex and relationship expert. Joining us is pastel supernova, the founder and artistic director of love letters, cabaret, which I've heard is pretty edgy. That's what they say. So what is love letters, cabaret love letters, cavalry is my burlesque on samba? All I have a I've been running for seven years now in Toronto, and it's a, it's a big showgirl revue. So when we think about burlesque, I think many of us, think about diverse body types in different types of beauty. Is that part of what drew you to burlesque has burlesque shifted the way you feel about your own body? Oh my goodness. I've been drawn to burlesque since childhood without knowing I grew up watching old, Hollywood films, and those dance reviews, always have been element of strip-teasers so much cabaret, gray RV, and the showmanship about it all was, what drew me to it. But very slowly started in classical dance eventually made my way there through an accidental booking. Somebody just thought that because I did pinup modeling and danced that I did Birla skin. Mccready bitch. And then the moment I did the show might life started to change completely. You are open in burlesque. You're open to all kinds of bunny types, but you're open to all kinds of people everything is so fluid and. Forward thinking, although they're taking styles from the past like such old elements but they're still opening people's mind so much so that it's considered me. Sure sexy in Lega, frowned upon way, because it's too forward thinking for a lot of people, it's not very labeled so echinacea that kin intimidate of you. But if you go in with an open mind, you'll meet a world of characters that will continuously teach you through art through teasing in the show, but the performance themselves, if you, if you find when you start to get to know them. It's, it's a whole other world of study where you're like, oh, wow. I'm a better human being right now. So it's not just about how you feel about yourself. It's how you interact with other people, and how you make them feel. Well, yeah, it's all connected. The better you feel about yourself. The more beautiful, you could see other like you see other people beauty because you're not bogged down by your own issues if you can just be like yet. I'm the shit. Oh my God. Look at all these other people there are so, yes. And you can actually listen to the stories instead of just Seattle be li...

Why do we develop fetishes and how can you talk to your partner about a fetish? How can you discuss spending time apart with a new partner after you’ve moved in together? Jess and Brandon discuss these topics and share their thoughts on sex smells, gift-giving and more. They’re also joined by Samantha Eitel who has an alternative take on dating profiles and “the best gift ever”. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Foot Fetishes, Sex Smells, Dating Profiles & Creating Relationship Distance 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sex, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr jazz podcast. I am your co host Brandon wear, and I'm still here, your friendly neighborhood sexologist just Riley. Thanks for being here with us. What's been on my mind lately, babe talk to me feet. Interesting. Hopefully not my feet. Oh, let me tell you. I never think about your feet. No, I don't have gross feed. Oh, no. I didn't mean it that way. They're just feet. My own feet. Aren't my thing. You have very big feet. I do a triple for them their water skis. That's the joke. I don't need water skis. When I go water skiing sometimes will go shopping in markets where people, I suppose tend to have smaller feet and Brennan wants to buy some of their nice handmade sandals. And they laugh at him when he tells them, his first of all, you're making too on buying sandals, which I'm not doing. I'm buying shoes, and I also don't have ridiculously large feet, there, actually normal size cave. They're like twelve which is not ridiculous. But I did stop into a shoe store and the guy laughed at me, and this is in Toronto, and I'm thinking twelve a crazy foot size fair. They're often thirteen and one guy told you that they don't carry ridiculous sizes. That was his word. Thinking to myself really man like at twelve is ridiculous. That's silly. Well, I'm thinking about feet, not because I've been thinking about your feet, but because I keep receiving these requests. Asking for pictures of my feet. Nice. And maybe I should be responding asking how much they're willing to pay. Sure. Maybe they want sponsor the podcast. I'm sure that's exactly what they want. They want pictures of my feet and I received another Email a couple of days ago, asking why he was so turned on by feet and if anything was wrong with him. So he said that he had a foot fetish and was just concerned about whether or not this was normal, and it's interesting because the foot is, in fact, one of the most commonly fetish is objects our body parts and a foot fetish simply refers to new strong sexual arousal or desire in response to the feet and fetishes tend to refer to non genital body parts or object based at traction. You might also have a foot fetish MB aroused by foot products like shoes and socks and stockings and boots and people have asked in the in the past. To buy my socks really. Interesting. I wouldn't I didn't know that, but you know that I don't like shopping. I can't afford to run out of socks because I'd have to go to the store to get more. Maybe I can get them on Amazon these days. Just go online. Yeah. I guess so. But anyhow, I wanted to talk a little bit about fetishes,

Jess and Brandon discuss what emotional unavailability might look like and they challenge the “fix-it” mentality. They share specific strategies for overcoming emotional unavailability including language and approaches to support your partner. They discuss the five languages of love, simple questions to make daily interactions more emotionally open, and emotional compatibility. **Please find a rough transcript of this podcast below** Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast brought to you by Desire Resorts and Cruises. I’m Brandon Ware. And I’m Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. Today we’re going to talk about emotional unavailability, because a number of folks have been referencing this topic on Instagram and I posted about it last week. Emotional Unavailability isn’t a formal diagnosis, so it’s one of those terms that tends to be tossed around rather flippantly without a universal definition. Some of us are emotionally unavailable by choice and others don’t even realize that we're putting up a wall. Emotional availability often refers to the ability to talk openly about your feelings and this is a skill as opposed to a state of being. This means that emotional availability can be cultivated with effort and need not be a universal relationship deal breaker. Some signs of being currently emotional unavailable include: They avoid intimate conversations or withdraw when you bring up difficult topics. This is a good example of the fact that emotional unavailability is not a matter of character, but of skill, experience and comfort level. We’ve all avoided intimate and difficult conversations at some point in time, so you can understand why your partner might utilize avoidance behaviours. They may be trying to avoid conflict or tension. They might be distracted or stressed out by other issues in their life and simply don’t have the emotional bandwidth to open up at this time. Or they might simply not have the communication tools/skills to speak openly about intense topics. The good news, of course, is that circumstances change (you can help to put them at ease) and with practice, they can develop the skills to communicate more effectively. It’s important to note that just because you believe you’re more emotionally available, does not in fact make it so. Your perception of your own skills in biased and you can’t expect them to communicate in the same way you do; they may have a different communication style and you’ll be better off finding middle ground as opposed to expecting them to get on board with your expectations. They refuse to express vulnerability. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable requires trust, so emotional availability can increase over time as you get to know and trust one another. If you feel your partner is not opening up, I’d avoid labels like emotionally unavailable and the associated accusations altogether. You’ll find that you’re more likely to get a positive response and a willingness to consider behavioural change if you talk about how you feel as opposed to what your partner is doing wrong. For example, you might be frustrated by the fact that your partner won’t talk about sensitive and personal topics. Related to this frustration, however, may be a sense of insecurity, as you might expect someone who loves you to trust you with their most vulnerable feelings. Talk about this insecurity and what behaviours (e.g. opening up more about the past) might hep to assuage your fears as opposed to accusing your partner of being emotionally unavailable. Opening up about your own emotions including your vulnerabilities (e.g. insecurity) may foster a safe environment that encourages your partner to do the same. They cut people off without working on relationships. Not all relationships (including friendships) are intended to last forever, but if they cut people off often (e.g. parents, siblings, friends, exes, co-workers), it’s easy to identify the common denominator.

Jess and Brandon respond to a listener who can orgasm on her own, but not with her partner. They share tips, insights, personal stories as well as practical mindfulness strategies you can try tonight. Please find a rough transcript of this podcast below... Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast. We’re going to talk about orgasms today. We have a question from a listener. “I have been having trouble orgasming with a partner, but by myself, it’s extremely easy. I have tried to add sex toys when I’m with my partner (which is the usual way I orgasm on my own), but that didn’t even work. He feels insecure since he can’t make me orgasm and I’m embarrassed.” First - you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your orgasm is for you. It’s not about your partner — unless you’re playing with that fantasy specifically — often in a kinky way. You might allow your partner to take control of your orgasm. One example might involve orgasm denial. It can be — with consent. Orgasm denial is often practiced as BDSM and it involves maintaining arousal without allow orgasm to follow. You might bring your partner to the brink and then pull back and stop altogether. And then you can continue to repeat. You might use your hands or body or you might use chastity belts or cock cages to prevent simulation of the genitals. Some people create a whole scene or experience around orgasm denial and others simply play with it in passing. They might tease their partner that they’re going to pull back and not let them orgasm. But back to the question. Let’s begin with the basics. Your partner doesn’t really give you an orgasm. They might be a part of the process, but your body — with your brain at the helm — gives you an orgasm. They can physically and mentally be a part of the stimulation process, but ultimately, it’s your nerve endings that communicate with the brain and it’s your brain that fires in multiple regions. And then at orgasm, your brain's center of reason and behavior (the lateral orbitofrontal cortex just behind your left eye) actually shuts down momentarily allowing your animalistic needs to overpower any reservations or preoccupations. When you can orgasm on your own, but not with a partner, oftentimes it’s because you do something physically different on your own. You use toys, you use your hands, you rub on the outside, you contort your body in a natural way, you breathe differently when you’re on your own and it facilitates orgasm easily. But then when you get with a partner, you change it up. You’re more focused on penetration, you move your body for their pleasure, you control your body at different angles, you hold your breath, you hold back or exaggerate your sounds and all of those physical activities simply don’t lead to orgasm. If this is the case, you’ll want to bring your masturbation practices — the angles, the toys, the techniques into your partnered play and replicate them. And this will likely lead to orgasm. In your case, however, you use toys to orgasm and you’ve already tried bringing them in to partnered play, so you likely need to consider another angle: And that’s performance pressure. If you’re doing the exact same things with your partner as you do when you’re alone and you still can’t enjoy an orgasm when your partner is present, it’s likely a matter of mindset, mood and pressure. So first — I want you to remove the physical barriers to orgasm. Is is the way you’re positioned? Move into the position you use when you masturbate most often and have your partner work around you. Is it the setting? Try to replicate the setting in terms of location, lighting, temperature, what you’re wearing. Again, have your partner work around you. Is it the physical sensations? When you use a toy alone, how do you do it? Can you show your partner with your hand? If you’re using the toy that always leads to orgasm, is there something else they’re doing that you find distracting?

What are the causes, symptoms and treatment options for Vaginismus? Jess shares resources and chats with her friend Meredith who shares her story of successfully overcoming Vaginismus. As mentioned on this episode, check out the work of Dr. Susie Gronski and the Pelvic Mafia! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Vaginismus: Painful Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sex, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey there, just so Riley here. Your friendly neighborhood sexologist. This is the sex with Dr Jess podcast. And today, we will be talking about vaginal Smith's, but first big, thank you to desire resorts in cruises for their ongoing support. They have clothing optional. Couples only paradise is on the Mayan Rivera as well as temptations resorts, which is open to people of all relationship arrangements. So singles couples threesomes and more checkout at desire experience. Vaginal. Dryness involves the sudden and painful contraction of the muscles in the vaginal area upon penetration, and this pain and contraction can be so severe that you cannot handle any degree of penetration. It's just too much. Some people describe a burning sensation that can develop as soon as you touch, and for other people, it develops as penetration is prolonged or deepened, and vaginal Smith's can be linked with, with inflammation with injury with pass trauma with hyper sensitive nerve endings near the vaginal opening and of course, with stress and psychological factors. And if you're new to sex. So if you're trying to engage in penetration for the very first time you can often. Nervous and because of those nerves your pelvic floor muscles, Ken tense up so severely that it feels as though you're hitting a brick wall, so feels like there's something blocking the entrance to the vagina. Now, this doesn't mean that something is actually blocking you from entering. But it feels like it. And when this happens in the beginning, so in your early attempts at having some sort of penetrative, sexual experience, it can be so distressful that the next time you try the same thing, happens because you tense up again or utensil even more. And what happens is you experience more of the same and it becomes a cycle and the distress itself. And the fact that this heightened by he know dealing with shame and secrecy around our bodies and sex, this can be enough to make sex or any sort of penetration. Feel imp-. Possible time and time again. And the more you experience, this distress, the more the muscles respond by contracting. So it becomes this negative feedback loop. And of course, there are many types of sex, you can have without penetration, but many people do desire, vaginal penetration. And it's not only folks who are new to penetration who experienced Baginda Smith's, I've had clients, who experienced secondary, onset, meaning they've had sex in the past they've enjoyed penetration without issue, but secondary onset might occur after trauma after surgery, with battle and bladder issues, and, and even and often with distress in their lives and distress in their relationships. And it's it's fairly common this experience, and it's,

Jess and Brandon talk about celebrity relationships (again!). Then Nadine Thornhill joins them to share practical advice on how to talk to your kids about sex, porn and body image. Follow Nadine on... Twitter Facebook Instagram Youtube Jess received a related question from a fellow listener. Here is her advice... My ex wife tells me that she caught our teenage son watching porn. She was mortified and wants me to talk to him about it. Where do I even begin? If you don’t talk to your kids about porn, Google, YouTube, SnapChat and their friends will. Oftentimes, they’re not looking for porn, but they stumble across it or their friends present it to them, so it’s essential to have conversations before they encounter this type of material. If you feel uncomfortable talking to them about porn or sex, in general, use this discomfort to open the conversation. Admit that it makes you nervous so that they learn from your ability to acknowledge vulnerable emotions. They’ll also learn that it’s important to have uncomfortable conversations. I suggest that you start by asking them if they have any questions and reminding them that it’s normal to be curious. Even if you don’t want them to watch porn, you don’t want to intensify any shame they may already feel around sex. You can let them know that porn isn’t intended for folks their age and remind them that what they see in porn isn’t what sex looks like in real life. Young people tend to learn about sex from porn because they don’t have access to other resources. And adults do the same. Offer a reminder that what they see in porn includes acting, special effects, editing, and sexual olympians. Just as they don’t learn about relationships from Jersey Shore and they don’t learn to drive watching Fast and the Furious, porn is not designed as a form of education. It can be entertaining and titillating, but it’s not produced with education in mind. Since you’re their parent, you can share your personal values related to porn and remember that your experience may not be their experience. Finally, consider offering them other resources they can turn to if they’re curious about sex. My colleague Nadine Thornhill talks about curating sexuality resources for your kids so that they don’t have to curate their own. Whether you send them to a site like Scarleteen for sex and relationship education or you direct them to erotica sites that reflect a greater diversity of bodies and more realistic interactions, it’s up to you. Regardless of your comfort level with this topic, remember that your child will inevitably seek out resources, so it’s up to you whether or not you want to be a part of the process. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Talk To Your Kids About Porn 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sex, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr just podcast. I'm Brandon wear, and I'm just Riley, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. When it comes to sex, you no longer have to have the talk with your kids, but you do want to have multiple conversations and keep them going start naming their genitals from the time.

Do you have a partner who craves attention? Do you love getting attention? How do you feel when your partner gets attention from outside sources? Jess and Brandon discuss the Ayesha and Steph Curry case and share their experience with managing insecurity, neediness, attention-seeking and more. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Why We All Seek Attention & Feel Insecure: The Ayesha & Steph Curry Case 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks. And relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast. I am Brandon wear here with my lovely partner. Dr. Jess, hey, hey, I'm in a very good mood today was a well. I'm playing in an ultimate frisbee tournament this weekend. Rigo ultimate frisbee. It's an all women's team that I love and we do a big cookout after what are they called? We are the joy Huck club. We're mostly Asian women. And we did have one girl on the team. She didn't get it. You know, the Joy Luck Club. Right. I know it now because I had to ask about it. You did. Yeah. I did. I didn't watch movies in the eighty s it was a book. They're exactly it was also a movie, but Landa good mood because of that. I'm also in a good mood because this week all week long from late late Sunday night when I came home to midday Saturday, Brandon, and I have our house all to ourselves. And for those of you who don't know why that so exciting Justice father lives in our house and has lived with us for about the last ten years, but he is on a tour of the holy land this week. I hope he's having a good time. I do too. 'cause I am having a good time. Having a house to myself walking around in the nude. I'm breaking all the rules that I set. Yeah. I mean, I don't think we have a ton of rules to begin with. I do have a lot of rules in the house. You know, I do know computers at the table. No newspapers at the table. I have a lot of rules. No, Fox News on the main floor, Fox News period. Yeah. Well, that that's on my dad's computer, so yeah, we're enjoying the week loan. And I'm also in a really good mood because the Toronto Raptors are still in the play offs. And I bring up the wraps not only because we're Toronto fan. So we've the north and all that jazz. But also because today, I wanna talk about a USA. Hurry. And I show is a cookbook author. She's a television host and personality, and she is also. The wife of NBA star Steph curry who has a reputation for being just a super nice guy any specifically has a reputation for not cheating on his wife, which is somehow lauded to get a biscuit for not cheating on your partner. Apparently, if you're a superstar and show was on red table talk recently, and she opened up about her insecurities in this is what she said. She says something that really bothers me. And honestly has given me a sense of a little bit of insecurity is the fact that. Yeah, there are all these women like throwing themselves at him. But me for the last ten years. I don't have any of that. I have zero and this might sound weird. But I have I don't have male attention. And so then I begin to internalize it and unlike is something wrong with me. There's a lot when package there. I don't I don't know much about the curry family.

Are you monogamous? Consensually non-monogamous? Ambiamorous? Polyamorous? Have you explored all of your options? And what can you learn from relationship types that are different than your own? Kevin Patterson joins Jess & Brandon to talk about his open marriage of 12 years and counting. He shares some of his mistakes and lessons as well as insightful advice on jealousy for people in monogamous relationships. Follow Kevin on... Instagram Facebook Pick up your copy of Kevin's book, Love is Not Color Blind here. Also check out For Hire: Operator here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Ambiamory, Polyamory, Open Relationships 00:00:05 - 00:05:09 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sex and relationship advice, you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr jazz podcast. Brought to you my our friends at desire resorts in cruises. I'm Brandon wear your unofficial sexologist. And I'm just so Riley a soon to be retired sexologist. Oh, that sounds amazing. I gotta say love what we do have a lot of fun. But the idea of kicking back and travel in the world for six months sounds pretty amazing right now. So it's a six month retirement to six months sabbatical. I think so I think we'll go on a sabbatical in the next few years, we go pretty hard. We do. Actually, I'm letting out a big X hail this week because I handed in a book transcript on Monday, I filmed an entire video course yesterday. So I'll have a new book coming out next year co authored by the fabulous Marla, Renee Stewart, and our book is called the ultimate guide to Saddam and foreplay. And yes, foreplay counts as sex and. Is really about all things sexual? It's really not just seduction four play and Marla is getting married this weekend in Atlanta's so shout out to Marla and her partner. Esther I'm heading down in the morning for her wedding arm, nor growing, but I want you to tell us a bit more about the fem- of their wedding. 'cause it's pretty unique. Yeah, I'm pretty excited. First of all, I can't wait to see Marla dress. Because I've heard it's going to be read. And because it's Marla it's going to be fun Bula space. Fabulous. And I've been told as a guest that we are to wear bold colors with a military sexy theme. Why didn't we do this for our wedding? I don't know because I didn't wanna see you in like military military boy shorts. I look back at the photos of our wedding. And it was one of the best days of my life. But my attire is very different than what Iraq today. Yeah. You wore a white suit that wasn't skin-tight like the clothes. You wear today. Such tight clothing. Let's see it's form fitted. All right. Okay. Let's talk right now who's t-shirt is tighter. Yours are not a fair comment were at home. We're working out of our office our studio, and I was out I was running around so latex convention. Yeah. That was pretty good. Pretty good. My jeans have stretching the Manley Malone any short too, so Marla and Esther shadow to them big. Congrats coming up for this weekend. I don't know what to wear because we've been told to wear bright red, bold, blue or yellow and make sure it's military sexy. Now as a Canadian, I'm not even sure what military sexy is I how ever have number of neighbors who are ...

Naturopathic doctor, Dr. Olivia Rose, shares insights on how diet, supplements, herbs, acupuncture and sleep affect your sex drive and overall health. She reveals what foods you should eat in the morning, what substances you should avoid at night, and how hormones play a role in libido. Follow Dr. Olivia on... Twitter Instagram Facebook Have a question about naturopathic treatments, clinical nutrition etc.? Join Dr. Olivia every Thursday on Vitarock's Facebook page for her weekly 'Ask Me Anything' Facebook Live broadcast. You can find a quick summary of the episode below. (Thanks to Dr. Olivia for providing these notes!) 1. What is naturopathic medicine? Tell us about your practice. Naturopathic medicine is a health care system that blends modern scientific knowledge and evidence with traditional and natural forms of medicine. As NDs, we assess the whole person by providing physical examinations, nutrition, lifestyle and mental health assessments and we refer for blood work at our local labs when necessary. I have a general practice, however, I do tend to focus on women and men’s health, gastrointestinal health, immune, skin and children’s health. Lifestyle, nutrition, herbs and acupuncture are the modalities I use the most. 2. What is the most common sex-related problem patients present with? (We're assuming low libido is up there.) What are some lifestyle causes of low libido? Low libido is common, especially in women. At least women tend to talk about it more, vaginal dryness, pain during sex and erectile dysfunction in males come up frequently. Lifestyle causes of low libido include poor diet (e.g. not enough or an excess – too much alcohol, caffeine, sugar, fat, processed foods, and also eating too little – not eating frequently enough, not having enough of the key micronutrients such as iron and B12 and macronutrients (missing healthy fat, protein etc.) which are important for blood circulation and hormone health; metabolic syndrome is a condition characterized by high blood pressure, central obesity, elevated blood sugar and abnormal cholesterol and triglyceride levels that increase your risk for stroke, heart disease and diabetes, inactivity – being active maintains good circulation to your pelvic floor and genitalia. Regular physical activity also helps to balance your hormones and maintain healthy testosterone levels. Stress – relationship, workplace, environmental – can play a role. 3. How does diet affect libido? Your diet can play a huge role in sexual desire. Going back to the not enough or too much diets – both can affect libido. Your libido relies on circulation and if your diet isn’t conducive to promoting healthy circulation, your libido will be affected. 4. How does diet effect mood and relationships more generally? Diet and digestion are closely tied to mood. Certain foods and additives in our food supply can have a negative effect on your mood such as MSG – some people are sensitive to MSG and report feeling sluggish, depressed or angry after consuming it. However, the first thing I do before even changing anyone’s diet is to make sure they are eating regularly. Eating at regular intervals can make a huge difference in regulating your mood. It also helps to balance your blood sugar and insulin. I emphasize a diet that contains enough protein with each meal because protein gets broken into the amino acids we require to make our hormones. 5. Can herbs/supplements be used to address libido? Can herbs/supplements be used to improve mood (and relational interactions)? There are many herbs that have traditionally been used for sexual enhancement and mood stabilization for centuries. Fenugreek is a popular culinary spice in South Asian dishes and in Ayurvedic medicine. It’s backed by promising research that it can increase sexual arousal and orgasms. It’s thought to contain plant chemicals that serve as precursors to estrogen and test...

How do you deal with a defensive partner? How do you manage a partner who lashes out in arguments? Is shrinkage real? What are some signs of a toxic relationship? Do I get a say in my partner’s porn habits? Jess and Brandon answer your questions in another rapid fire round. Please see a rough list of the questions that were addressed on this episode: I followed your 3-step approach on how to have difficult conversations with your partner, but I have some follow-up questions. 78. What if your partner gets defensive? 79. Lashes out? 80. Or simply withdraw or refuses to talk? 81. What if they refuse to go to therapy? 82. I want to go one of those nude beaches you talk about, but I'm afraid I will get a woody. Brandon, has this happened to you? 83. Can you make my penis bigger? 84. Is shrinkage real? 85. Does my partner get a say in my porn habits? 86. Is it your right to tell your partner that you'd prefer they didn't watch porn if it makes you jealous or you aren't comfortable with it? 87. Where is the line for advocating for what you want, and being controlling? 88. What about telling them not to watch certain kinds of porn that you're ethically opposed to? Like free porn which is often exploitative, or porn scenes that are degrading towards women? 89. If your partner has an issue with your porn habits, would you change them or tell them it's your choice? 90. Does Brandon have a brother? 91. What if my wife has a small clitoris? 92. Why does my penis keep dripping after I pee? 93. Can semen clog your drain? 94. How do they know it's semen, did they have to clean out their pipes? 95. I just started dating since graduating college and being with a not-so-great boyfriend for four years. I'm not sure what a healthy relationship should really look like. Can you tell me some signs of a toxic relationship? I want to know what to look for, to make sure it's not an unhealthy situation. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Defensive Partners, Toxic Relationships, Shrinkage and Porn Habits 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sex and relationship advice, you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr just podcast. I'm your unofficial sexologist. Brandon wear, and I suppose I'm the official sexologist title that I will never be able to escape Jessore eilly here before we get started a big thank you to desire resorts, they have clothing optional paradises on the Mayan Rivera as well as clothing optional. Couples only cruises. We are heading to Europe to the south of France Italy Spain, I know we're going to my arc. Baby. Valencia. Are you taking me on the next round and taking guess guest? Your plus one I'm taking a plus one. Are you coming? I would love to come. I just hope that it's me that's on the ticket. You're good bag carrier. I am very good at carrying bags. I don't know. What else? I'm very good. At you. Bring a lot to the Taylor a friend, and I will be on their upcoming cruise and be sure to check out their resorts at desire experience show. Let's jump right into the questions. Two hundred episodes one hundred. Questions where did we leave off? I think we left off at seventy six or something like tha...

How should you adjust your body language during an argument with your partner? What strategies can we use to become active listeners? What role does body language play with single daters? Tune in now to learn from Body Language Expert, Karen Donaldson as she shares her advice and insights with Jess and Brandon. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Body Language in Dating & Mating 00:00:00 - 00:05:09 On. You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks. And relationship advice. You can use tonight. Hey, hey, this is just a rally your friendly neighborhood sexologist here with the love of my life. Mr. Brendan wear the love of your life. We're gonna be talking about body language and the way body language shows up in dating Brennan is currently doing martial art moves its body language. The way body language shows up in in dating and in relationships in times of heroism and in times of conflict, and I was thinking about my own body language, and I appear very fam-. I I wear heels I wear dresses. I have long hair I wear been a makeup. And if you look at my Instagram photo feed, you describe me as feminine, but interestingly, I was looking through some of the photos from. My recent speaking engagements, so onstage speaking to crowds. And I noticed something totally different. So these more candid shots that are not curated like my Instagram feed. I stand with my legs wide apart. My hips are really opened my shoulders are back and wide and broad and. I look dominant and is interesting because people comment on on my confidence on my supposed- masculine energy. So on one hand, I know I convey femininity in the way, I dress in the way, I pose for photos, but when I'm in real life like I think I really feel like myself on stage. I'm somebody entirely different or I'm conveying something different. Now, I'm not a gender, essentially. I I totally realized that nurture plays a role in the way I adjust my body language. So when I'm on stage, I want to feel powerful. And I wonder if there's a part of me that wants to be perceived as masculine to de sexualize myself because I'm talking about this topic that is so sensitive, and sometimes it's just relationships, but still people know him a sexologist I fear being harassed because even when ninety nine percent of the audience is totally cool. It only takes one guy to sexualize me to really kinda squash me like a little bug. And so I wonder if I changed the way I speak the way I stand the way I move my body and assume these power poses to detract from the possibility of being sexualize. Sd? I'd just like you said power poses makes me think of Amy senti going book nine nine course on power pose it, and so I was thinking about you and body language, and I was thinking that sometimes when we fight. My body language is not good when we fight. I crossed my arms my close up. I know that I do because I paid attention to it. And I've made the effort to try to seem more open in arguments. But it's my default is to kind of close up to not allow you in into allow you access, but I do notice that when I'm walking I made a conscious attempt to have better posture because you just have the best posture were sitting at a table.

Jess and Brandon answer your questions: Is it normal to want your wife to be a hot-wife? Should I use an enema before anal? What should I do if I can’t get it in? Can a sexless marriage work? Can a couple really recover after cheating? How do I know if I should call it quits on a relationship? And many, many more. Please see a rough transcript below. Thank you to Desire Resorts & Desire Cruises for their support. Be sure to check them out because they offer a clothing-optional couples experience that is unlike any other. To celebrate our 100th episode, we started answering 100 of your questions last week and we continue this week: 39. Is there really a way to move past a cheating partner? Yes. If the one who cheated is not making excuses and is willing to do the work. And if the one who didn’t cheat agrees that they’ll be vulnerable and honest about what they feel AND not use the cheating as a weapon moving forward (e.g. in arguments unrelated to cheating). 40. How can you introduce compromise to a partner who always believes their way is the right way? You compromise first. It’s disarming. If you take an issue that you’re fighting about and say mea culpa - I need to change. The angriest, most stubborn person will likely follow suit. 41. How do you know enough is enough, and you’re just running your own race? If your partner isn’t willing to put in effort to make the relationship work - this might be a sign that you’re not able to become compatible. Having said that, just because they won’t put in the same type of effort you put in doesn’t mean it’s on them to conform to your expectations. But if you’ve tried to work on the relationship from multiple angles - by talking, by arguing, by going to therapy, by completing self-help programs together, by carving time out and you’ve tried a variety of approaches and asked them how they’d like to work on it AND they’re open to none of them, you’re in a relationship with yourself. Try asking them: do you want to work on this relationship and make it better? If they say yes, ask them how they’d like to work on it. 42. Can a man’s semen stink if they drink beer? Is there something that causes women to have a funny smell? Yes. We don’t have scientific evidence that what you eat and drink changes your taste or smell, but we have so many anecdotal reports that I simply can’t ignore. Diets high in fruits and veggies and supposed to increase sweetness and preservatives, smoking and alcohol have been said to change the taste so that it’s more bitter. And when someone ejaculates inside of you, it can absolutely change the way you smell, but the self-cleaning oven will clean it out. And again, always get tested — regardless of whether or not you’re using condoms. 43. How tall are you? 5’4" 44. How do you get brave enough to try new things in the bedroom? Start slow and small. Try it next to the bed instead of in the bed. Then move to the shower and add silicone based lube because you’ll need it in there. Try whispering a few words right before orgasm when your inhibitions are lower. When you get more turned on, the chemical shifts in your body help you to be less self conscious and more confident. And don’t feel pressure to do everything. The tiniest change can have the biggest impact. 45. Can sex still be healthy if it is quick, under 15 minutes all the time? That’s way longer than average. Porn sex lasts so long that our expectations become unrealistic. But if it’s not long enough for you, think about other things you can do - with your hands, your mouth, your toys. Don’t get hung up on intercourse. There is a reason lesbian women have more orgasms that straight women - they’re not hung up on the D. 46. How can you tell if your husband’s sex drive is going down? Ask them! And be supportive. It’s okay if your interest in sex declines. It’s normal. You often have to get in the mood for sex rather than wait for the mood to strike you.

It’s our 100th episode! We’re answering rapid-fire questions on everything from jealousy, uneven breasts, and birth control to penis flavours, positions and sex toys. Tune in and keep the questions coming. Sex Questions Answered: Rapid Fire Round Rough Transcript: It’s our 100th episode! Yay us! Thanks so much for listening and for sharing with your friends. If you like the podcast, please do share it and write us a review online. And thank you to Desire Resorts for being our headline sponsor - you know we love their clothing optional beaches and cruises and we welcome any questions you might have about their vacations since the concept is so unique. And speaking of questions, we’re going to be answering 100 sex and relationship questions to celebrate our 100th episode. We’ve been collecting so many questions from you and we want to answer as many as possible so we’ll be doing a rapid fire round today and I’ll do my best to answer as many as possible. We’ll probably have to continue in next week’s episode. Some of these questions come from teens and some come from grandparents, so it’s quite a wide range. Brandon: are you ready? 1. Can pre cum get you pregnant? Yes - it can. If there is sperm present in the urethral tract, pre-cum can carry this sperm into the vagina and it can eventually meet with an egg. 2. Does the birth control pill make you gain weight? People report that it does, but research from 44 studies suggests that it’s temporary — perhaps a side effect of fluid retention. But ultimately, you know your body so if hormonal birth control is affecting your energy, sleep, mood, these factors affect your weight. You also have non-hormonal options like the copper IUD, condoms for the penis, internal condoms that can be worn inside the vagina. 3. If your vagina is only 6 inches (in depth?) how can a 7" or 8" penis fit inside? The average vagina is not that long in an unaroused state. It’s shorter than 4 inches on average. First, the entire penis cannot possibly slide inside and secondly, we believe that the cervix tents as you become aroused, muscle relax and the fornices also provide a little extra space to accommodate the object or penis of your choosing. The average penis length is far below 7 or 8 inches. 4. Should I still use a condom if I’m on the pill and we’ve been together for 2+ years? Whether or not you use condoms isn’t a matter of how long you’ve been together. It’s a matter of health practices like testing, lifestyle factors (like do you take your pill reliably and do you need a backup method?) and risk factors (e.g. are you monogamous?). It’s a personal choice, but if you don’t use condoms, remember that the pill provides zero protection to reduce STI transmission. 5. Why is one breast bigger than the other? The body isn’t symmetrical. Just like your feet are slightly different sizes and your eyebrows will never be twins - only sisters - one breast is usually bigger than the other and that’s cool. No one is going to notice but you and even if they do, they’re not going to care. If you do notice any changes in size or shape, let your healthcare practitioner know so they can decide if any tests are necessary. 6. How do I deal with a jealous child? He’s 12 years old. Remind them that it’s normal to feel jealous and the jealousy sometimes isn’t rational. Focus on governing behaviour — not the feeling itself. It’s okay to feel this way, but you don’t want to be mean to your brother. Tell a story about a time you were jealous and how you responded to normalize the feeling; if you regret your response, admit it and suggest how you might respond today. Drop the comparisons and generally focus on your child’s strengths to build up their self-esteem. 7. Does being on the birth control pill for a long time prevent you from having kids/getting pregnant? The pill is a reversible form of birth control which means that you can get pregnant when you st...

Jess and Brandon answer listener questions about swallowing, squirting, nervousness, physical affection and sex dolls. Please find a rough summary of the podcast. We’re working on a transcript which should be coming soon! Today we’re talking physical affection, sex headaches, semen swallowing, FMF fantasies and squirting. Thank you to Desire Resorts for their support of this podcast. But first…Sex doll smuggling. A Trinidadian man had his sex doll seized at the border after being in­formed that it con­tra­vened sec­tion 45 (l) of the Cus­toms Act as it has hu­man gen­i­talia. He is now suing Trinidad’s Cus­toms and Ex­cise Di­vi­sion and while I can’t comment on Trinidad’s import policies, I’m always concerned when the government steps in and ultimately dictates what you can and can’t do as consenting adults in the privacy of your bedroom. I ran into this in the UAE when I was working in Dubai. My clients got in trouble for trying to import sex toys and they taught me an important lesson about how to take vibrators in to countries where they’re prohibited: put them next to your hair curler or straightening iron because then they look like they’re part of the same electronic components. And so far it has worked for me. But I just thought this story offered a good reminder that we should talk about sex dolls because there are now sex doll brothels in Canada, Europe, Asia and they must be coming soon to the US - like a boy band, they’re always big in Europe, Asia and Canada first and then they hit the US. And I’ve seen so many lifelike sex dolls on display at trade shows and in sex clubs. Our listener questions are piling up and it’s stressing me out a bit because I don’t like to leave you hanging, so we’re going to address a series of questions today. 1. A 'buddy of mine' is worried that something is wrong because he doesn’t always want to be touched - especially right after work or when he’s watching the game. His girlfriend gets mad because she wants to kiss or cuddle and he just feels smothered and guilty for not wanting to touch her. Is this a psychological issue? How should he deal with it? Just as some people crave touch constantly, others abhor it. Wherever you fall along the spectrum of desire of physical touch, you’re perfectly normal. As long as you can function (i.e. go to work, maintain relationships), I wouldn’t worry about how little or how much touch you desire. In your friend’s case, it sounds as though he simply wants some space and needs to clearly communicate his boundaries to his partner. He should let her know when and how he wants to be touched and clarify that there are simply times when he wants physical space. He shouldn’t feel guilty. Many mothers complain about feeling “touched out” at the end of the day; their kids have been all over them all day and they just don’t want anyone else (i.e. their partners) to hug, kiss or initiate sex. Your friend may be experiencing something similar. Compatibility in relationships isn’t rooted finding someone who wants the same things as you (e.g. you don’t have to share a mutual love of cuddling); compatibility involves working together to meet one another’s needs and accepting that one person cannot fulfill all of your needs everyday for the rest of your lives. If his girlfriend wants more affection, he can offer it at times and she can also seek it elsewhere — she could cuddle with the dog, get more hugs from friends and family or spend some time touching herself. Once you acknowledge that you’re not required to meet your partner’s every need (and they can’t possibly meet all of yours), you’ll likely cultivate happier, more satisfying relationships. 2. Is it safe to swallow your own semen? It sure is! You can taste and swallow your own semen as long as you don’t have STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhoea because some STIs can be spread to other areas of the body. Semen volume is 2 – 6 mL (1/2 a teaspoon to one teaspoon) ...

How much should appearance matter in dating? How do you overcome fears of rejection and develop high self-worth? How do we address racism, colorism and discrimination in dating? Dr. Donna and Jess share their experiences and perspectives to help you feel better in your own skin and address your own biases. Follow Dr. Donna Oriowo on... Twitter Facebook Instagram This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dating Advice with Dr. Donna 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sex and relationship advice, you can use tonight. Hey, hey, your friendly neighborhood sexologist here. Jessica O'Reilly getting ready to talk about dating self worth self esteem body image and how to feel better about yourself. Whether you are single dating partnered or somewhere in between. I I wanna give a big shadow to desire resorts, they have clothing optional. Couples experiences in Mexico and in Europe, and Brandon, and I will be joining them on their Mediterranean cruise this September and the desire red carpet cruise in may twenty twenty I am not gonna complain about that. Joining me today to discuss dating in the age of social media in the age of left, and sometimes writes swipes and the age of filters, and heavy editing on just about everything is Dr Donna Oreo will a sex and relationship, educator and therapist and an international speaker located in the Washington DC metro area, thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Now, you are a therapist. Why do clients come to you primarily, oh, there's so many reasons, but the main one is that I actually see a lot of single people and they're concerned about how they've been in these sort of repeat relationships again and again worried about having a little bit of anxiety. Maybe some depression around what it's like today and what it's like today now. Now, and what it's like to date in their individual bodies, so working on some some level of body satisfaction. But then there's also the color is that dealing with so discrimination based on their skin tone, as well as texture isn't that they're dealing with which is the same before hair this commission against a hair texture. And so how does that discrimination? How's it manifested are people being overt about it? Are they small microaggressions? Oh, it's a little bit of everything. It's it's such a joy how people can find different ways the compliment slash insult each other. So though here things like you're pretty dark skin. Like, I've never I've never been with you. You know woman like us, and like, okay will what do you mean? Oh, I've never dated a big girl. And just you know sort of. Yeah. I hear that's islands. And when people say things like this are they looking for cookie. Are they saying, well, you know, I'm here, and I'm doing a good thing. Charity dating. I'm doing you of favor by being seen out in public with you. And it just like this is ridiculous. The toll that this must take on your self esteem must be so significant how how do you work through that? So those aren't even what I was thinking of with regard to microaggressions. I was quite blatant. How do you work through that the fear 'cause we all face a fear of rejection when we go on a date, but that fear is intensified?

How important is oral sex? Is it okay to have a crush on a co-worker if I’m married? Are ‘cheating clauses’ healthy for relationships? How do I get over a crush? Why does sex education matter? Jess and Brandon chat sex, love and relationships addressing these questions and many more. Check out the rough summary notes from the podcast below: We’re in south Florida this week - I’m working on a new book all about seduction and foreplay along with my co-author Marla Stewart and we are enjoying the sunshine. But it has been a stressful week - with Lido. And I just found out that I’m shadow banned on Instagram because my account gets reported all the time - I don’t post provocative or even sexy photos. It’s mostly my face, Brandon’s and my pup Lido’s, but because people don’t like that I talk about sex, they report me and Instagram has shadow banned me. Now they can send me harassing messages and Instagram doesn’t do anything about it. I reported a dick pick on FB the other day and FB said that the person’s account doesn't violate their terms. But somehow because I talk about sex and relationships, none of my hashtags show up in feeds or searches and my content is hidden from many people’s feeds - even those who follow me. So if you follow me on Insta - it’s SexWithDrJess - please take a moment to head over to my account. If you can comment on a photo or two it should help me out - and Insta doesn’t like one word comments because they think they’re bots. It’s a struggle working in this field because even though we’re here providing education and trying to help people to feel better about themselves, we face judgment and pushback at every turn. We live in a culture that is okay with depictions of gruesome violence or extreme risk taking and dangerous behaviour like shootouts, or high speed car chases, or war, but the mere mention of sex — which by the way is a the life-force that keeps our planet populated — freaks people out. I had a post reported on FB entitled 5 conversations to deepen the bond and connection in your relationship. FB said it violated their community standards. Yet I see posts that promote homophobia, transphobia, racism and misogyny every time I open my feed. Without sex you wouldn’t be here. Without sex, we wouldn’t have computers, we wouldn’t have surgical developments that save lives, we wouldn’t have the internet that keeps us connected. People developed these technologies and people are here because their parents had sex. This erotophobia not only affects my day-to-day life - I see it when people judge me when I walk in a room because of my work and I can’t wait until the day I stop caring and speak up, but more importantly our fear of sex affects the health and safety of every one of us. Because we don’t talk about sex with young people, we’re putting their lives at risk. Because research shows that sex education - talking about sex - is associated with improved academic achievement, greater gender equity, higher school attendance rates. Research shows that sex education is associated with suicide prevention. Research shows that sex education can dispel misinformation about sex spread by popular media. Done right, it can address the misogynist, ableist, ageist, classist, racist depictions of sex and relationships we see in popular media. Research shows that sex education can improve confidence, decrease abuse, and help people to live more fulfilling lives and have happier relationships. It reduces STI transmission and unplanned pregnancies by increasing the likelihood of delaying sex, using condoms and communicating about what you want and what you don’t want. But somehow, sex ed is framed as a controversial issue. A divisive issue. A political issue. But it’s not a matter of politics or opinion or religion — sex ed is a matter of life and death. So please support sex ed. Speak up. Follow and support sex educators. Help us get un-shadow banned. Rant over. ***

How do you talk to your kids about porn? How do you teach consent from a young age? How do you have awkward conversations about sex? What does it mean to be a sex-positive parent? Melissa Pintor Carnagey joins Jess and Brandon to share her advice and insights on these topics and more. You can find Melissa online at sexpositivefamilies.com. They have downloadable guides, resources, podcast episodes and blog posts that offer education to help families raise sexually healthy children. One of their most popular resources is our Sex Positive Families Reading List with over 100 curated books about sexual health topics for children and adults of all ages. Follow Melissa on... Instagram Twitter Facebook *** Check out Jess' thoughts on how to talk to your kids about porn below: The landscape of sex has changed since we were kids with sexting, mobile porn and social media shaping the way young people learn about sex. With explicit content at their fingertips, talking to our children about sex and porn is more important than ever. And as uncomfortable as a conversation about porn may be, there is no avoiding it if we want to support our children in developing healthy attitudes toward intimacy, sexuality and relationships. While there is no perfect formula for addressing such a sensitive and subjective topic, we have a few tips for making the conversation count: Ask questions without judgment Parents often wonder how to start a conversation about sex and it is common to have serious concerns with regard to exactly how much information they should reveal. One of the best ways to address these concerns is to ask questions to help understand what your kids have seen, learned and heard about sex and porn. Ideally, you’ll want to address the topic before your child is exposed to the material, but many young people click on adult content inadvertently. If your young child has clicked on a porn link accidentally, you might want to ask him what he saw and what he thought of the images, language and content. By remaining neutral in tone, language and facial expressions, you can encourage your child to express himself without fear of judgment. If you’ve found adult links on your child’s computer, you might ask her what she felt when viewing the videos and emphasize that both positive, negative and conflicting reactions are normal. Other questions to guide your discussion might include: What do you know about porn/sex? Do your friends ever talk about porn/sex and if so, what have you heard? How did you feel about what you saw? When your child presents you with a question about a sex term or sex act (e.g. What is intercourse?), you can turn the tables and ask him/her what s/he already knows. This is the perfect teachable moment to dispel any misinformation and learn a bit more about your child’s sources of sex information which may range from schoolyard friends and older siblings to the internet and television programs. Fill in the blanks with age-appropriate information. Depending on your child’s age and your comfort level, you can fill in as much or as little information as you deem suitable. Sex education is most effective when it is age appropriate; for example, a four year old can understand the basics of reproduction (a man and a woman are needed to create a baby), whereas a 7 year-old can grasp the basic concepts of intercourse (the penis goes in a vagina). Answering your child’s questions about sex and porn from such an early age may seem counterintuitive, but research continues to confirm that learning accurate information about sex (including both positive and negative outcomes) does not lead to an increase sexual activity; accurate sex education, however, does lead to positive sexual interactions and relationships in the future. Though experts can offer guidelines and tips with regard to how to approach this sensitive topic, as a parent,

Courtney Brame joins Jess and Brandon to talk about sex, relationships and dating after an STI diagnosis. He shares insights on how to disclose, provides advice on sexual communication and talks about stigma, suicide and self-worth. Follow Courtney on... Twitter Instagram Check out Courtney's podcast, Something Positive for Positive People here. Jess was also interviewed about the herpes stigma recently and we’ve included the notes from the interview below. 1. Why is there a stigma around herpes? Sex is stigmatized and so all potentially negative outcomes of sex are intensely stigmatized. The unnecessary suffering that sometimes accompanies herpes is ultimately because of the stigma — not the virus itself. Herpes seems to hold a special stigma that is not proportionate to its health risk. In terms of health, most people with herpes have nothing to worry about. Outbreaks are often rare, decrease with time and can be relived and surpassed with antiviral medication. You do want to take precaution when having sex (herpes can increase the risk of HIV transmission and be a risk when pregnant), but overall, it need not have a significant impact on your (sex) life since we all should be practicing safer sex. Part of the stigma is reinforced by herpes jokes that don’t seem to apply to other STIs. 2. What steps can one take to alleviate the shame and depression that often accompany a diagnosis? Know that you’re perfectly normal — and healthy! People contract bacterial and viral infections all the time (the common cold, flu, etc.) and they don’t hang their head in shame. It’s absurd that we see sexually transmitted infections as remarkably different from the ones that occur from not washing your hands properly after riding the subway. I have a client who takes pride in smashing stereotypes and tells dates about her herpes when they first meet. She shares stats to normalize the conversation (1 in 5 Americans have it) and is armed with accurate information about its transmission (medication can reduce breakouts and transmission). When you share the fact that you have an STI, know that their reaction is really a reflection of their own knowledge and comfort (or lack thereof) and not a reflection of their feelings toward you. If they are judgmental, fearful or express hurtful rejection, it’s likely a matter of their own discomfort (with sex generally - we stigmatize STIs that are easier to treat than the common cold) or lack of knowledge. I know it shouldn’t be your job to educate people, but it can help the conversation to unfold more smoothly if you provide accurate info about transmission, management and treatment. Many of the clients I work with say that the majority of their experiences have been positive - they’ve been met with positive responses from new lovers who appreciate and learn from their honesty. 3. If you don't have herpes, what are some things you can do to help disempower the stigma? What are some things you'd suggest saying to a friend who's been diagnosed? Stop making herpes jokes. We’re all guilty of this. If you look back at homophobic jokes in movies from 10-20 years ago, it seems shameful. Hopefully we can convince filmmakers to cut out the herpes jokes as well so that we’ll look back and see how ridiculous, harmful and unfunny they really were. If a friend shares their diagnosis… Don’t ask prying questions (how did you get it? do you have an outbreak now? who gave it to you?) Do research on your own. If you have questions, turn to reliable online resources (https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/default.htm, http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/herpes/) and don’t expect your friend to educate you or answer all of your questions. Ask them what you can do to help. Do they want you to look for resources? Do they have questions you can help with Don’t tell other people. It’s up to them to share their health status with others at their discretion.

What should you do if your partner says one thing, but does another? How do you talk about the fact that they're avoiding sex? How do you address social media behaviour that makes you uncomfortable? Jess and Brandon talk to Canadian dater, Katrina, about her dating dilemmas. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dating Dilemma 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sex and relationship advice, you can use tonight. Hey, hey, this is just a Riley your friendly neighborhood sexologist here with my much better half. Brennan wear blue. And we are here in Vancouver today. We're in town for the taboo, naughty, but nice show down at the Vancouver convention center. And I'm going to be here all weekend with vibe, I'm hoping to do. Some love interviews. Onsite may be with the people from the king stage. Maybe with some of the folks teaching bondage if you're in Vancouver come on down. It's running Friday Saturday Sunday at Vancouver convention center. And today's the day I'm gonna good mood because I got to fly on a seven eight seven nine the Dreamliner this morning. I had a great flight, babe. How was your flight with was okay? I was flying with the dog and comfortable ship walking all over my see. Crawling on me. So. Yeah. In between napping working in watching a show. It was in. Interesting flights. I had a smooth flight. I was all snuggled up by myself stretched out. So I love airplanes, and the Dreamliner is my favorite airplane. People. Ask me why. And it's because they pressurize the cabin two thousand feet lower than regular airplane. So you don't have the same effects and jet lag that you have another planes. They also keep the humidity higher because of the material in the plane and the air flow is better end, the windows are the best because they are the push button windows. You don't have to slide. The blinds down just press a button to adjust the lighting of your window are like the Dreamliner now because I feel like I'm not on a boss. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. You don't even feel really going up and down. It's great plain doesn't suck. It's quite nice. Hashtag not sponsored. They definitely didn't give me any money. Speaking of sponsors. I have to say a big thank you to desire resorts in cruises. Please check them out. We're getting ready for our crews coming up in the fall in the red carpet crews for the cons film festival and f one in Monaco next year in may and. You get to be naked. If you want to add the one not the F one you can be pretty close to naked at the F lawn. I'm sure everybody just you could you know, what I'm calling it at one. It isn't even as it isn't the grand prix. Oh, man. I thought it was f one racing. I'm not I'm not. We're embarrassing ourselves as manses. Some Americans are going to call the correct us for shoes like hockey with real. All right. We are going to die right in today. I receive many emails from people, and my inbox is generally full of unsolicited messages from men, which I lead in don't even look at and people looking for advice on their dating and relationship lives. I can't answer everyone. But we do try and answer some of them on the podcast and today, we're going to be talking about what to do. When someone says they're into you.

Steve Harvey says you should act like a lady & think like a man. Taylor Swift suggests playing games. Jada Pinkett-Smith says she’s nobody’s watcher. Adam Levine claims you should always let a woman believe she is right. Dr. Nikki Coleman joins Jess and Brandon to dissect celebrity relationship advice and address how we can use their insights to improve our own relationships. Follow Dr. Nikki on... Facebook Twitter Instagram This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Do you love your body? Loving your body is a radical statement in a culture and economy that feeds on body insecurity. Jess and Brandon want you to love your body, so they're sharing stories, insights and tips on how getting naked can improve your relationship and revolutionize your life. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon discuss how they’re feeling in light of their dog’s cancer diagnosis and talk about the role gratitude plays in their lives and relationships. They share five specific strategies for being more grateful in life and marriage. As mentioned in this episode, check out Jess' video course: Mindful Sex: Deeper Connection, Intimacy and Pleasure This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

How can I ensure I’m the BEST he’s ever had? How do we know if we’re sexually compatible? How do I bring up hygiene before oral sex? How can I make sure our sex life is “fair”? Jess and Brandon tackle these listener questions in the first episode of 2019. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon talk about love languages, the holidays and their reaction to “You May Want To Marry My Husband”. They also share the dating profiles they wrote for one another and why they love this activity. This is an exercise you can try with your partner and it makes the ultimate holiday gift — it’s free and it keeps on giving! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon answer listener questions about how to have a happier relationship this holiday season. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Holiday Harmony Tips Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight. Participant #1: Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Jessica O'Reilly. Before we get started, I want to say a big thank you to Desire Resorts for their ongoing support of this podcast. If you aren't familiar with Desire, they offer two adult playgrounds that are clothing optional couples only highly erotic resorts on the Mayan Riviera, just south of Cancun, as well as adult Playgrounds at Sea on their European and soon to be expanded clothing optional couples only cruise experiences. So do check them out. Desire Resorts or Desire experiences on Instagram. Well, the holidays are upon us, and I think we're all feeling a lot of feelings. I have Brandon here with me today, and I was thinking, Brandon with the holidays only a week away for some of us were already in our holiday rituals. How are you feeling about this season? I feel great. I feel a little stressed, but overall, I feel pretty good. Do you really just feel a little stressed? No. I feel a lot stressed. Let's start on a positive note. No. On a scale of one to ten, how stressed are you? Depends on the day. It depends on what we have, what event is coming up, but it could range from like a three all the way to, like a seven. Okay. And today, right this moment, this moment. I'm like a two. No, I'm like a one right now. Well, we're recording here in Mexico City. We're in our comfy hotel room. Let's be honest. We're recording in bed. Yeah, maybe a little too much information. I'm down here for work, but also for pleasure. We have my mother and my stepdad with us, not in the room, but on the trip, and they're pretty awesome. I love traveling with them. It's cool if you have a cool couple to travel with, and I'm lucky that it's a family member. Yes. I really enjoy hanging out with your mum and Luigi. Yeah, mum just turned 68, but she seems more like she's 45 50. It's not too far from my age. Yeah. And Luigi is just super young, so that's my stepdad. Anyhow. I wanted to answer some listener questions, and our listener questions are piling up. So thank you for sending them in, and I'm really doing my best to get to all of them over the next few eight weeks. But today we're going to address some of the questions that are specifically related to holiday dilemmas, because I grew up really excited for Christmas. That's what we celebrate. And my mum made the season really special. And now I get really excited for it. But I also find that we get really stressed out, and it has to do sometimes with the people that we have to see. Yeah. No, I agree completely. Sometimes that's the truth. Sometimes it's just a matter of timing. Right now, I'm working on a big project that requires a lot of work I'm creating. I should tell you, I'm creating a 50 video course with 50 different exercises and activities to improve and revolutionize your relationship. So simple activities you can do in 15 minutes. We've done these activities in the past and doing them again in advance of your course was great. Yeah. So these activities include physical activities like different erotic touch techniques, but primarily their discussion activities. So, for example, we have an interview, a vulnerability interview where you have to ask one another question that require you to get a little bit vulnerable. And so I'm creating this course.

They sold everything and moved to Mexico. They’ve touched over 6000 people. And they’ve been swingers from the start. Lauren and Richard, from the Room 77 Podcast, chat with Jess and Brandon about their relationship, unique lifestyle and their sexual experiences. Have a listen via the link above and check out the summary of this episode’s key messages below: 1. Don’t wait to talk about what you want. If something is important to you, speak up from the onset. You don’t have to wait until the 5th or 50th date to open up, as dating rules are relics of the past. If you’re hoping to lure someone in before disclosing important information about your preferences and desires, it will likely cause more damage to the relationship in the long-run. 2. Selfish lovers can be the best lovers. Almost everyone is turned on by their partner’s pleasure and arousal, so don’t be afraid to ask for what you want! If you have trouble receiving pleasure or want to overcome performance pressure, you may want to consider mindfulness approaches to enhance your experience — and your partner’s. 3. You don’t have to want the same things to be compatible, but you do need to be open to learning about your partner’s desires without judgment. You can always find common ground — if you have an open mind. 4. Swinging can be about friendship, but for some people it’s just about sex and that’s okay. You don’t have to fit your sexual lifestyle into hetero-normative, monogamous-normative versions of love and sex. We don’t need hierarchies of relationships — in or out of the lifestyle. 5. If you have the opportunity to watch live sex (with consent), it can be a moving and revolutionary experience. In the absence of comprehensive sex education, most people turn to porn to learn about sex, but it’s not intended as an educational tool. Porn is intended to titillate and entertain and many of the messages 6. Pressure is the antithesis to pleasure. If you get hung up on a goal (e.g. orgasm), it is likely to detract from the experience. Lauren’s advice: just relax and have fun. If you have an orgasm — great! If not, hopefully you experience pleasure, connection or another benefit of touching and exploring with a partner. 7. If you’re going to make a statement about sex remember that it’s based on your experience — not expertise. Just because something applies in your case or your relationship doesn’t mean it can be generalized to the masses. 8. Mutual masturbation may be intimidating, but it’s powerful experience. If you feel awkward, you’re not alone, as masturbation is likely something you’ve done in private for your entire life. Many of us were also raised to do so with shame and secrecy for fear of being “caught”. Some strategies to overcome your awkwardness: Try it on the phone first. Describe what you’re doing to ease yourself in to being watched in person Do it in the dark or under the covers; it can be hot to be watched, but you may not want to be studied, as this makes many people feel self-conscious. Touch one another while you’re touching yourselves. Even a hand on the thigh or a few warm kisses can help you to feel connected and safe during any sex act. Don’t feel the need to “get off”; you can engage in masturbation without the goal of orgasm. 9. Check out the work of other great sex educators Jess met at Sex Down South: Marla Renee Stewart Honestly Nae Dr. Annod Right Tanya Bass This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

LaDonna Wright, creator of the adult game, Secret VII, joins Jess to address relationships and sexual health questions. Secret VII can be purchased here or on Amazon. Follow LaDonna on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Former Registered Nurse and Award-Winning Adult Film Star Kendra Lust shares insights and lessons on sexual confidence, working in porn, and how to have a lasting, happy marriage. Follow Kendra on... Instagram Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Are you curious about sex and cannabis? Do you understand between the difference between THC and CBD? And did you know that you can experience cannabis pleasure without getting “high”? Cannasexual, Ashley Manta, joins us and teaches us that we have a lot to learn. Follow Ashley on... Twitter Facebook Instagram Also check Ashley's online course, "The Ten Commandments of Hand Sex", available for purchase right now! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon continue the “partner interview” and share details about their greatest fears, fondest memories, where they hope to be in ten years and what they’re working on in terms of self-development. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. A Glimpse Into Jess & Brandon’s Relationship - Part II Participant #1: Hello. Hello. This is Jess O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist here with Brandon again today. Back for a little more. Back for more? Yes. Gotten for punishment. I wouldn't describe these podcasts is that there are worst things I could do to you? Definitely. So before we get started, I want to say a big thank you to Desire Resorts for your support of this episode. Desire Resorts. They have multiple locations on the Mayan Riviera clothing optional couples only paradises where lots of fun happens. And Brandon can attest to that. Yeah, sometimes too much fun. Okay, we won't go there. Make sure you check out Desire Resorts and Desire Cruises. Now, last week, Brandon and I started this partnered interview that is designed to increase intimacy, promote understanding, deepen your commitment to the relationship by opening up new conversations that you don't normally have. And if you missed last week's podcast, go back and listen to it. And I'll just remind you that I often talk about how communication and relationships gets reduced to conversations related to work and money, kids and family and your agendas, your schedules. And although you have to talk about all of those important aspects of your life, they are not the foundation for an intimate relationship. And every couple I meet tells me they're really good at communicating. And the reality is we all struggle with communicating. So Brandon and I, for example, might have all the tools at our disposal, but we don't always use them. So, for example, even this interview is not something we've done before and forcing yourself to have these conversations once you're in the groove. Actually quite interesting. When I listened to your answers last week, I almost feel like I didn't know them. I knew them, but I didn't know them. And then it was really interesting. It's interesting. You say that because I think it's a bit of a braggadocious thing that, oh, I know everything about my partner. And the reality is I don't even want you to know everything about me. I also think that people whose attitudes are that they know everything. I hear it all the time. I assume that when somebody says that to me, it's an unwillingness to learn or hear somebody else's perspective. And more importantly, to learn something new, I actually feel like I always have something to learn. I feel the same way. Right. We were at the Everything to Do With Sex show this weekend, and I was talking about different sexual techniques, communication strategies, and people would come up and say, I think I have that covered. I'm an expert in that already, and I think it's so interesting because what I think is I wouldn't want to have sex with those people. I'm your partner, and I've heard you deliver these speeches hundreds of times, and I still feel like I could learn something new every time I listen to you speak. It's funny, because I've written multiple books, mostly on sex on sexual technique and positions, and I do not remember all of them, and I wrote them, so I have to go back. And certainly I am not the ultimate expert in any of these things. If I read any of my colleagues books, I always learn something new. So you've probably heard of the growth mindset versus the fixed mindset. And I do think that you, the listener,

Jess and Brandon interview one another in an attempt to better understand their own relationship. They talk about their initial attraction and what they want to work on in their relationship. This is part one of the “Lover’s Interview”. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. One of the best parts of my job involves facilitating workshops on relationships, communication, and sex — both online and in-person. I swear I do more learning than teaching and I love receiving feedback from participants — especially when they report that an activity or course positively affects their self-esteem and/or relationships. One of the most popular in-session activities for couples involves The Partner Interview, which almost always receives rave reviews. This exercise involves a very simple set of questions that you take turn answering with your lover. Here are just a few reasons why my clients and I love it: You can repeat it every few months and learn something new every time. It opens up new conversations. You can add your own questions to suit your personal needs. Even if you don’t use all the information right away, you’ll find that your partner’s answers will come in handy down the road. Brandon and I answered the first five questions in the podcast above and we walk through the second half of the questions in part II of the podcast here. If you want to try it for yourself, read through the questions below and take turns answering them with your partner. Alternate who answers each question first (e.g. if you answer #1 first, they answer #2 first) and consider sitting face-to-face if you’re comfortable doing so. Turn off all electronic devices so you’re not distracted by the dings and pings of your phone, tablet or laptop. (Brandon and I didn’t have this option since we were recording and we’ve decided to take the discussion offline this weekend so that we can reap the full rewards of this activity.) Do your best to answer the questions as honestly as possible and listen intently to your partner’s contributions. If you have trouble answering a question, you can pass. You may want to reflect on why some questions are difficult to answer and follow-up a few days later. You can download the Partner Interview here and the questions are posted below: Name/describe one thing you really appreciate about our relationship. What first attracted you to me? When do you feel closest to me? If I were to initiate sex tomorrow night, how would you like me to do it? What’s one thing you’d like to work on in our sexual relationship? What’s your greatest fear? What’s your fondest memory? What are YOU working on in your life right now and how can I support? Where do you see our lives together 10 years from now? Describe your perfect day. Set aside 30-45 minutes to complete this exercise and whatever you do, don’t be too hard on yourself or your partner. Talking about relationships and sex isn’t always easy to do! If you prefer, you can work your way through these questions 1-2 at a time. Rather than talking about your kids, work or plans, dig a little deeper. I hope you derive as many benefits from this activity as Brandon and I did. XOXO

Is polyamory on the rise? Are throuples the new norm? And what’s the difference between polyfidelity, non-hierarchical polyamory, and relationship anarchy? Jenny Yuen, author of Polyamorous, joins Jess to share her personal experiences and professional insights on consensual non-monogamy. Follow Jenny on... Instagram Facebook Twitter Be sure to check out the 'Toronto Lit Up' book launch for Polyamorous happening on November 16th at Type Books. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dee H. Black & Ladyee Vee join Jess in Atlanta to talk about their interactive Face-Sitting workshops. They share tips and techniques for this powerful sex act as well as insights into why it is gaining popularity. Follow DV Passion Love Experience, LCC here: Facebook Twitter Instagram This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Sex educator Domina Franco, a former semi-pro wrestler and phone sex operator, joins Jess and Brandon at The Sex Expo in Brooklyn. They discuss phone sex, Dominance, submission, dirty talk and how to make sex more exciting and authentic. Follow Domina on... Instagram Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Are you curious about sex parties? What can you expect from a woman-focused sex party experience? Do you have to get naked and/or have sex? And what’s up with the name, Killing Kittens, anyway? Founder Emma Sayle, joins Jess and Brandon to share her story right before they attend their very first Killing Kittens party in New York. Follow Emma on... Instagram Twitter Follow Killing Kittens on... Instagram Facebook Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

What is kinky sex? What goes down at kink camp? And how can you kink up your sex life? Bex Caputo joins Jess and Brandon to share his experience, insight, and expertise. Bex has been a proud and undeniable kinkster ever since he insisted on being served his meals in a dog bowl at the age of 8, so he knows his stuff! Follow Bex on... Instagram Twitter Youtube You can also check out Bex's podcast (with Kate Sloan), The Dildorks. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

What is the bisexual double-standard? How does erasure affect bisexuals? And how does bisexuality work in the Swing Lifestyle? Angelique and John join Jess to discuss their experiences as a bisexual couple. Follow Angelique on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Follow John on... Facebook Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. A Bisexual Couple’s Story Participant #1: Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Jess O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. And today we are going to be talking about bisexuality, the double standards, the erasure and the myths. Before we get started, let me shout out to our sponsor, Desire Resorts, an all inclusive, clothing optional couple's paradise with two locations on the Mayan Riviera. Be sure to check them out at Desire Resorts on social media. Joining me today is Angelique Luna, a certified King aware professional relationship and sex coach, educator, entertainer and sexual abuse advocate, as well as her partner, John, who was an entrepreneur, author, professional educator and software developer. Welcome to the program. How's it going? Hello. Yeah. Happy to be here. Glad you're here now. September 23 is Bisexual Awareness Day. So our timing is perfect. I thought we could jump in just starting with some definitions. So what does it mean to be bisexual? From your perspective, that's a good question, because lately the word coming up pan sexual is what I hear a lot, and they're very close, but different. But to us, bisexual means we're attracted to both men and women. Personally, I go by bisexual because it's more well understood than trying to understand pansexual, but it doesn't mean I'm not included. I'm not attracted to transgender. And again, other sexes. Okay. And do you both identify as bisexual? Yes, we do. We do have child, too, which surprised us when she's like, okay, I'm bi. I'm like, what the heck? Well, it's interesting because the data around bisexuality is on the rise. So more people are identifying as bisexual, and there are differences by gender, with more women reporting same sex contact than men. There are differences by race as well. So, for example, in the United States, fewer Hispanic women report being bisexual than white women and fewer black women than white women as well. Although the number is closer. But the latest research that looked at over 9000 people aged 18 to 44 and asked them about their sexual experiences, their attraction and how they identify found that this trend stood out. And this is why the headlines ring out. People love a headline that says bisexuality, even if they don't dig a bit deeper. But more women reported having had sexual contact with other women than in previous years, 17.4% in the current survey, compared with 14.2% in the 2006 to 2010 survey, and more women and men identified as bisexual, five 5% of women and 2% of men, compared with three 9% of women and one 2% of men in the last survey. So what do you think about this trend? I think the younger generation is they're fighting everything possible that they're getting to the point that they just don't care. They'd rather be their authentic self than fitting into a mold. And we're seeing that a lot with kids in high school and even the I don't know if the millennials would be that, but the younger, like 20 to 25 crew. They are much more confident in themselves, and we're raising them to have a lot more self awareness. I also see a lot of men and women in their 40s now who have either married or divorced and starting to rethink their sexuality.

Amina Peterson joins Jess to discuss the practice and philosophy of tantra. What is tantric breathing and meditation? How can a body scan improve your sex life an overall well-being? It’s not all about sex, but sex is certainly enhanced by the practice. Amina closes the episode with a brief body scan that moves Jess to a state of deep vulnerability. Follow Amina on... Instagram Youtube Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Participant #1: Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I am your host, Jessica O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood Sexologist. And today we are going to be learning all about tantric sex. Joining me is Amina Peterson. Amina is the founder of Fearless Giving Atlanta. Tantra, formerly the Hawaii based Tantra in paradise and the host of the Fix Your Sex podcast. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. So tell us a little bit about Fearless Giving. Okay. So Fearless Giving was born because I watched the Ted talk. So the name was born because of that where there was a Ted talk where a woman was talking about learning to give without the fear of not getting something back. And I thought, Well, that's what I'm doing. I like that. That's the whole point of this. That's the whole point Participant #1: from the sex side of Tantra is that we're offering something so beautiful to someone and we don't have any hangups around whether or not it's going to be reciprocated in a way that we needed to be reciprocated, that we actually get from the give. And so I said, that's going to be my name, Phyllis Gifting. And I was transitioning from Hawaii, and I had to kind of figure it out when I got here from Hawaii to Atlanta, from Hawaii to Atlanta, a bit of a transition. And I moved here for family, being 11 hours in the middle of the ocean for almost twelve years, it starts to get old and you get missing my nieces and nephews and the family and the love and the community and the Southern fried food and the Southern fried food, raw fish is good for me. I really would like some of that. Yeah. Good old green fried tomatoes. Well, I haven't had that. We're actually here in Atlanta right now. I haven't had those fried green tomatoes yet. I guess I need to have that you do before I leave. I can make some recommendations before I leave. That's a great place. Not too far from here. I'm on a food mission. So tell me how you got into Tantra to begin with. Okay. So I actually started off when went to massage school after my second divorce in my 20s. How much you call a quick study? After my second divorce, I had a restaurant. I sold it, and I went to massage school because I had a wonderful massage and I'm a true Aquarius. Oh, yeah. So I go off and I finished my massage school and I start hustling on the side. I'm divorced. I'm not really working full time and kind of just wondering. So I started doing massage therapy, and this was before the Craigslist killer. This was back when it was totally normal. I thought, anyway, in my naive state, not even somewhat sketchy or sexually oriented at all to put an ad on Craigslist and say, I have a massage, come by my house and get one stranger. And so I started doing that. And during that time, all of my men clients were all male clients were pitching tents. Right. There'd be these erections. And I was, like, found out that you could make a little bit more money if you rubbed on them. And so that's what I did. I transitioned from therapeutic massage to therapeutic massage with a happy ending pretty quickly. The happy ending came quickly, or you translate both. I'm very good. That's interesting,

Pansexual. Cisgender. Sapiosexual. Gender Queer. Gender Fluid. Agender. Aromantic. Demisexual. Gender Non-confirming. Transgender. Award-winning activist, Aida Manduley, joins Jess on the podcast to discuss terminology related to sex and gender. Which terms are appropriate and which are not? And how we can celebrate inclusion and learn from our own mistakes. Listen below to learn more! Follow Aida on... Twitter Instagram Check out these links that will help you become more familiar with various sexual pronouns... Practice With Pronouns Minus 18 This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexuality & Gender Terms Defined Participant #1: Welcome to the Sex With Dr jazz podcast. I'm Jessica O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. Before we get started, I want to say a big thank you to at Desire Resorts for their support. I'm heading to Desire in October and January. It's a clothing optional environment with two locations on the Mayan Riviera. Check them out at Desire Resorts. As you know, if you've tuned in before my partner, the love of my life, Brandon often joins me for these podcasts. And moving forward, Brandon is going to be on the air for almost every episode if I can pin him down because you folks seem to like him, and I really like him, too. And I find that I'm more myself. I'm more calm. I'm ultimately better at my job when he's next to me for a number of reasons, including the fact that it's actually really tough to be a woman in the public eye and having a man by your side means that you receive less harassment, less vitriol, and fewer Dick pics. But also he's just a really funny, empathetic, insightful person, and he brings a perspective as a non sexuality, non relationship professional that I just don't offer. So I was hoping that Brendan would be here today, but I'm in Atlanta for Sexton South, and he's in Toronto doing his business thing so he couldn't be here. But Brandon is the inspiration for this episode. He's excited to be a part of the podcast, so he says, but he's mentioned that he's nervous because talking about sex and relationships and gender can feel really stressful for him because of all the new terminology. So he's kind of afraid to use the wrong words. So here's what Brandon has to say on the topic with apologies that he's not live with us right now. I know that it's my job to educate myself on the proper use of pronouns when I'm identifying somebody, whether it's transgender, lesbian, gay, straight, queer by it's my job. I understand that, but I didn't grow up around a lot of people who identified other than their visible gender. Even right now, I'm already thinking about things I'm like, how should I say this? And I don't want to be rude or insensitive in conversation with other people, and until we all adopt the use of they, my question is, how do I go about demonstrating my willingness to use the appropriate terms? But if I make a mistake not making a big deal out of it being apologetic for the mistake because I do find that in certain environments, I'm afraid to contribute for fear of saying the wrong thing. And that may sound really silly, but it's the truth. I'm just afraid of using the wrong thing and then looking like an idiot or looking like I'm not sympathetic. And then if I do apologize, am I making too big of a deal out of it? And I just want to make sure that I'm being as inclusive as I can while being very sensitive to the identifiers of those people around me. So even though Brandon can't be here today, we're going to be talking about this topic and defining a number of sexuality and gender relat...

Are on-again-off-again relationships healthy? How can we break bad relationship habits? How do you recover after cheating? And how do you know if your work crush is crossing the line? Therapists Eboni Harris & Eliza Boquin join Jess to share their insights on these topics and more. They’ve got some great advice so make sure you tune in! Follow Eboni on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Follow Eliza on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Follow Melanin Mental Health on... Facebook Instagram Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

If you’re curious about the butt and its potential for pleasure, tune in for lessons in anatomy, pleasure, technique and more! For more anal sex tips, check this out! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Podcast Transcript Anal Play What! what! In the butt! Your bum is one of the most responsive erogenous zones on your body, so exploring its pleasure potential is a no-brainer. Not only is the anus rich in super-sensitive nerve endings, but it is actually anatomically configured for mind-blowing orgasms for both men and women: the male G-Spot, also known as the prostate, and the female cul-de-sac, that sexy region on the lower vaginal wall, can be stimulated through the back door. Despite the climax-centered design of the bum, anal sex continues to retain its taboo status...at least in theory. In reality, however, anal sex is quite common. Research suggests that nearly half of men and women have engaged in anal intercourse and orgasm rates are actually higher for women who include anal play in their erotic repertoire. That’s right! Among women who had anal sex during their last encounter, 94 percent had an orgasm versus only 84 percent of those who received oral and 65 percent of those who had vaginal intercourse (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University) Couple the powerful potential for orgasm with the thrill of defying one of the most intense and enduring sexual taboos and you have the perfect recipe for spicing up your sex life through the back door! But since the tissue and nerve endings of the anal area are so sensitive, it is essential to follow some basic guidelines to make sure your experience is as hot as possible: Become acquainted with your bum. Your butt is a thing of wonder, but since you probably don’t know this nether region like the back of our hand, you’ll want to do some exploring before you venture into the exciting land of anal play. On the outside, you have a highly responsive pucker (AKA bum hole/anus) that is rich in nerve endings and responsive to light touch. For some people, this is where anal sex begins and ends. There is nothing in the rule book that says that you must include penetration in your anal sex practice. A good exercise for newbies is to enjoy anal play (licking, sucking, massaging, kissing, etc.) with the promise of no penetration to build trust and become familiar with new sensations. If you do decide to venture inside, you’ll enter the anal canal which is less than a few inches long and rich in highly responsive nerve endings. Comprised of soft tissue folds, this area has a good capacity for expansion and is sensitive to touch, pressure and temperature. Inside, you’ll find two sphincter muscles, which are ring-like oval structures that help to hold the canal in shape. The next time you’re in the shower and feeling relaxed, gently slide a lubed finger inside to get to know your sphincter muscles. You don’t have to reach great depths to find your sphincter muscles. You’ll feel the external sphincter, which you can contract and release at will (the way you might flex and relax your biceps) less than an inch beyond the opening. The internal sphincter is just a little deeper, but because this smooth muscle ring is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (which manages automatic bodily functions like heartbeat and perspiration), it remains in a state of contraction. You can’t exercise complete control over your internal sphincter, but just as you can slow your heart rate through breathing and mindfulness, so too can you help relax this sensitive muscle through relaxation and deep breaths. Beyond the anal canal lies the rectum which comprises the lower section of the large intestine. This section curves laterally (from side-to-side) as well as from front-to-back several times and it is wider than the anal canal. Comprised of mucous membrane,

Uncle Mike (Captain Lyn - @lyn.mike) joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on marriage after 51+ years. Have a listen! With age comes wisdom and even if his experience is different than your own, you’ll find pearls of wisdom worth taking to heart. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess & Brandon model a “how-to-talk-about-sex” conversation in response to a listener’s question — they share their unprepared responses on the spot. They also weigh in on spicing up date night, watching web-cam models, sex clubs, sleeping after sex & how long to wait before having sex with a new partner. Please find a rough summary of the podcast below. We are working on providing full transcripts for all podcasts. Welcome to the SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist and I’m here with my better half, Brandon Ware. Today, we’ll be answering listener questions about sex and relationships. Before we get started, I’d like to thank Desire Resorts for their support and remind you that we’ll be facilitating workshops at both properties in Mexico on October 24-25, 2018. More details can be found here. Question: I listened to your podcast on sex clubs and we’ve talked about going, but I’m just not there yet. I’m fine with watching porn, but the idea of real live people freaks me out. My girlfriend really wants to go and you always say to take baby steps, so is there something we can try in the meantime until I’m ready? Just talk about going and play around with the idea. Go to dinner and drive by a club without going in — make out in the car instead. Or talk about all the naughty things you’ll do at a club while having sex at home — with no pressure to follow through in real life. Not everyone likes sex clubs and you certainly don’t have to visit one if you’re not into it. Another option… Sign into an adult webcam room featuring another couple. This may be a little risque, but more couples are joining in on the fun from the safety of their own bedrooms. Webcam models perform live and you can even make requests if you’d like. The couples I’ve met who visit webcams (often for special occasions) say that they like the spontaneity and the fact that they’re not overproduced like porn. If you’re considering this option, talk to your partner ahead of time to discuss your concerns and desires. Some questions you might want to address: 1. If we do this together, does it mean we can do it alone? Set boundaries and agree on what is acceptable within the confines of your relationship. Don’t worry about what others (including experts) have to say. You decide what is dis/allowed in your own relationship as a team. 2. Are we willing to interact (chat) with the models or just watch? 3. Are you nervous about the experience? What makes you nervous? What can your partner do to assuage your concerns? 4. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, how will you address this? Will you close the computer? Take a break? Use a sign to communicate your discomfort? 5. If you’re using a pay site (many offer free access), what spending limit do you want to set? Be honest about your desires and boundaries. You are not a prude if you’re not into adult webcams. You don’t have to do everything to have a happy relationship and satisfying sex life. Question: I saw your story about UberEats as date night and I voted yes on both accounts and I’m wondering what you and Brandon do for date night cuz you look so happy together. (function(v,i,d,e,o){v[o]=v[o]||{}; v[o].add = v[o].add || function V(a){ (v[o].d=v[o].d||[]).push(a);}; if(!v[o].l) { v[o].l=1*new Date(); a=i.createElement(d), m=i.getElementsByTagName(d)[0]; a.async=1; a.src=e; m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m);} })(window,document,"script","https://cdn-gce.vdocipher.com/playerAssets/1.5.0/vdo.js","vdo"); vdo.add({ otp: "20160313versUSE3236InlD1gWgLzfonvoh5I4gX7g9PS8Z3Q2fwTNMigbE94u3s", playbackInfo: "eyJ2aWRlb0lkIjoiMjYxODQxNTNmYjIyNGRkMmE1NTEzZDE5MzczMzZjMWQifQ==", theme: "9ae8bbe8dd964ddc9bdb932cca1cb59a", container: document.querySelector( "#vdovoh5I4gX7g" ), }); Question: I saw your post on Instagram about having intense conversations. Can you give me some examples of questions I can ask my...

Single? Dating? Coupled? Whatever your relationship status, it’s time to take responsibility for your own happiness. Andrea Bain, host of the “Single Girl Problems” podcast joins Jess to share insights and advice for both couples and singles. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Follow Andrea on... Twitter Instagram Here’s a summary of the dating and relationship advice Jess and Andrea discuss in this podcast: 1. Don’t treat a date like an interview. Do not get hung up on assessing their assets and deficits. Instead, just stay focused on how you're feeling in the moment. How you feel about yourself in the presence of another person is a very good measure of the relationship. Think about it — it applies to your boss, to clients, to work teams, to your parents, your lovers, your siblings. Stop measuring and start feeling. If that sounds too abstract, let me get a bit more specific. Each time you catch yourself assessing a date or analyzing your compatibility, wiggle your toes to distract yourself from those thoughts and come back to the present moment and get in your feelings. Take a breath and feel what’s happening in your tummy or in your body. This is so important for relationships and sex — in general — whether your single and dating or in a relationship. Because we fall into the habit of spectator-ing - instead of enjoying or experiencing the moment, we look in from the outside to see how it’s going like a spectator. In the bedroom, this detracts from pleasure and arousal and actually can lead to sexual issues. In fights, it can be a problem because we focus on winning an argument or telling our partner that they’re doing something wrong instead of focusing on the issue and feelings at hand. When we become a spectator - on a date, at the dinner table or in the bedroom, we can’t be present and if you aren’t being present, you’re not giving your partner or your date what they deserve. So if you catch yourself assessing the situation, cut it out. One breath, a giggle, a joke, a flirtation, a touch of the hand, a sip of wine — do something physical to bring yourself back to the present. 2. I’d love to see all first dates happen in groups. If I was dating right now and I met someone online, I’d invite them to join me on an outing I already had planned with friends — something short and casual like grabbing a drink after work or inviting them to stop into a birthday party I’m already attending, but I like the group date for two reasons: your friends not only influence your relationship (if they like your partner it can have a positive effect on your relationship) and younger folks are doing this — the group dating thing — and I think they have a better approach to relationships - they talk about them more, they aren’t as jaded and they get that what works for their best friend may not work for them. The over 30 crowd doesn’t seem to get this, so let’s learn from the teens and 20 somethings and do the group date thing. I suggested this to a client last summer and they tried it a few times with a few guys they met on Bumble and she’s in a relationship today — almost a year later. It’s one case, but it’s worth giving it a try. 3. Lastly, I’d like to emphasize that I’m a fan of online dating but only because it broadens your pool. I’m certain that it really doesn’t matter how you meet - in person or online because all relationships regardless of how you initially connect can grow into something amazing…but if you’re dating online I also suggest that you date in person and you make an announcement. If you’re single and looking, tell people! Stand up and tell your friends at the dinner table - tell them what you’re looking for and ask them to make introductions. 4. And I have one more thing to say because it’s my podcast so even though I said I had three things I’m changing my mind to four — couples - stop leaving single people out. Invite them along! Include your single friends.

Jess and Brandon share their insights on what constitutes online cheating and how to handle disagreements about chatting with exes and others online. In another podcast episode, Jess discuss why it's important to talk about infidelity with your partner. Listen here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon team up to answer listener questions about anal sex, discrepancies in desire, how to get your partner to talk about fantasies and more. They share personal insights and open up about some of their sexual experiences (even if Brandon doesn’t seem to remember all of them!). Jess and Brandon take to Instagram Stories to answer some additional questions, check it out below! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. (function(v,i,d,e,o){v[o]=v[o]||{}; v[o].add = v[o].add || function V(a){ (v[o].d=v[o].d||[]).push(a);}; if(!v[o].l) { v[o].l=1*new Date(); a=i.createElement(d), m=i.getElementsByTagName(d)[0]; a.async=1; a.src=e; m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m);} })(window,document,"script","https://cdn-gce.vdocipher.com/playerAssets/1.5.0/vdo.js","vdo"); vdo.add({ otp: "20160313versUSE323BX8fEvv3XzNvfcbrx7xkATA93MIAbleOLQTMdIIfBAJ0ju", playbackInfo: "eyJ2aWRlb0lkIjoiZjVjOTNlN2FmYTdkNDBjNTlkYzQ0ZThkYjcwNjQwYmIifQ==", theme: "9ae8bbe8dd964ddc9bdb932cca1cb59a", container: document.querySelector( "#vdobrx7xkATA9" ), }); This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dr. Liz Powell joins Jess and Brandon to discuss how “hot thoughts” sabotage relationships. They also discuss friendships, gender roles and share personal stories of relationship struggles. Follow Dr. Liz on... Twitter Instagram Facebook Check out Dr. Liz's book, Building Open Relationships, here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Are you curious about your friends, co-workers and neighbors’ fantasies? Of course you are! Dr. Justin Lehmiller was curious too, so he asked over 4000 Americans to share their deepest, darkest and most exciting fantasies. He discusses this fascinating research from his latest book, Tell Me What You Want, with Jess in this week’s episode. Follow Justin on... Facebook Twitter Check out another podcast Jess recorded with Justin about cuckolding and cuckqueening here! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess & Brandon talk about how the soulmate myth is bad for dating and relationships. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dr. Markie Twist (sex therapist) & Professor Neil McArthur (ethicist) join Jess to discuss various relationship arrangements including relationship anarchy, affectional-only relationships, and non-sexual parenting partners. Markie shares a few of her experiences and Neil weighs in on recent cases. And we almost forgot that Brandon joins them too simply because he was so fascinated by the topic! Dr. Markie and Jess also collaborated (along with Ruth Neustifter & Francisco Ramirez) to publish a paper addressing the role of entertainment media in sex education. Read more here. Additionally, they joined forces to discuss the ethics of sex education in Manitoba in 2017 (sponsored by the University of Manitoba’s Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics) and recorded this Facebook Live video in which they address open relationships. Professor Neil McArthur and Jess have also collaborated on a previous podcast episode to discuss research on sexbots and how they are shaping the future of sex. Listen here! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dr. Jess and Dr. Nancy join forces to answer the question, “how do I convince my partner to swing?”. The short answer is that you don’t convince them to do anything, but you can introduce swinging (and other sexual activities) in a manner that will produce meaningful and sexy conversations. Jess & Nancy share actionable advice you can use today! Follow Dr. Nancy on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube LinkedIn

Should I have sex with a married woman? How do I get my partner to open up about fantasies? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Jess (and Brandon) answer these listener questions and more! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

This week, Jess invites professional sex educator (and professional pervert), Carly S., to the podcast. The pair discuss why dirty talk is such an important form of communication in relationships and how effective it can be when used properly. Carly is a master of dirty talk and gives Jess specific lines and examples that you can use tonight! Follow Carly on... Twitter Facebook Instagram This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon chat about their current sexual dry spell and male sex myths. Brandon opens up about some personal concerns and Jess comments on recent research on male sexual desire. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

What can we learn from Tristan Thompson & Khloe Kardashian’s cheating challenges? Why do we stay with partners who cheat? And what conversations are ESSENTIAL to a happy, lasting relationship? Jess shares her answers, theories, and strategies on cheating, monogamy and relationship communication. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Podcast Transcript: Welcome to the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist and I’m back in Toronto today still recovering from my travels and having lost my voice aboard the Desire Resorts cruise. I had a blast on board and my highlight was definitely Florence. There’s something about that city that always leaves me wanting more and more. And on board, my highlight was just sitting on the top deck watching the shoreline and listening to DJ Willis down below. Let me tell you, life is good. I probably have one of the best jobs in the world, so thank you to Desire Resorts and Cruises for hosting me on board. Now that I’m home in Toronto…Today on The Global Morning Show, we talked about Tristan Thompson and Khloe Kardashian. Admittedly, I don’t know much at all about these two. And I’ve already had people yell at me online “WHO CARES?” But here’s the thing. You may not care about K and T. You may not keep up with them - see what I did there? But we do care about these types of stories because when we hear about happy relationships or tumultuous relationships it affects how we see our own relationships. When we hear about Tristan cheating, it can be upsetting because ultimately we never want it to happen to us. And it’s interesting because celebrity gossip is often seen as trashy or vapid. And I was looking at a post by Dr. Amie Harwick yesterday about the hazard of following celebrity gossip. Amy says “Gossiping, in general, is a rather normative behaviour,” says Dr. Amie Harwick, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Communication about social behaviours goes back to nomadic tribes, regarding finding out who socially was to be avoided or cautious about.” But gossiping, in general, brings negativity into your life and into your relationship. And Amie adds “Such a public depiction of relationship failure can absolutely instill fear in people, whether single or in a relationship, about the likelihood of relationship failure,” Harwick says. “We take information about the world by what we see.” She goes on to explain that typically our own families and friends would model what we believe to be normal. “But with the addition of social media and tabloids, our behavior modeling now includes an immense quantity of poor, and often untrue, behaviour models,” So if celebrity gossip is bad for us, why am I talking about it today? Well, I believe that it’s essential to dissect some of this information if we’re going to be consuming it. I think it’s important that we talk about cheating — not gossip about whether Tristan did it or not, but talk about why it happens and what we can do about it. Today we’re going to do just that. I want to cover a rather controversial topic: I want to talk about why Khloe might put up with this type of behaviour. AND what it says about the way we approach monogamy and what we can do about it. To the first point — if Tristan has done this before and you believe he’s going to do it again, why would his partner put up with it? I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. I’m not in Khloe’s head, heck I’m not even following her Instagram feed. BUT I want to suggest a theory. A theory that may or may not apply to them, but certainly applies to other couples. This isn’t a popular theory. Any time I bring this up, people get pissed, but I know it’s the reality for many couples: I believe that many people know that their partner’s cheating and privately accept it; They may not like it, but they accept it and they accept that if they want to sustain this relationship for love,

Jess & Brandon are in Italy aboard the @DesireResorts Cruise - a clothing optional experience for open-minded couples. Tune in to learn more about this exciting erotic experience. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Goddess Lola Jean joins Jess on the podcast this week. Lola shares her perspective on life as a pro and lifestyle dom, and fetish wrestler. She also gives insights on why domming can be therapeutic and how she uses it as a way to build self-confidence. Happy listening! Follow Lola on... Instagram Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Winning an Oscar triples your chances of getting divorced. And though you may not be in the running for an Academy Award, your personal and professional successes can adversely affect your relationship — but they don’t have to! Dr. Natasha Sharma joins Jess to discuss how you can ensure that your success serves to enhance — not threaten — your relationship. Follow Dr. Natasha Sharma on... Facebook Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Do you want to seduce your lover with confidence and finesse? Marla Stewart can help. She joins Jess to talk about the “Seduction Learning Approach". She uses real-life examples to help you understand your own desires and your partner’s. Jess and Marla also share specific suggestions to use your words, body, actions and more to seduce your lover with confidence — and to teach them to return the favor. Follow Marla on... Facebook Instagram Twitter For more info on the Sex Down South Conference, click here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Luna Matatas joins Jess to talk about threesomes. From how to snag a unicorn to how to navigate those awkward moments, we’ve got you covered. Follow Luna on... Instagram Twitter Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Do you pee when you laugh? Is sex sometimes painful or uncomfortable? Is orgasm rather elusive? A pelvic floor therapist might be able to help with these concerns & more! Marcy Crouch, joins Jess on the podcast to chat about the science & application of pelvic floor therapy. Follow Marcy on... Instagram Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Do you feel insecure with your partner at times? We all do. Brandon and Jess team up once again to share personal experiences and anecdotes about how they’ve encountered and tackled insecurity in their relationship. Jess also shares practical tips for dealing with your own insecurity and your partner’s. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

How do you prioritize sex? How do I stop myself from starting fights when I’m on my period? How can I get my partner to be more romantic? And would you leave if he cheated? Jess and Brandon (Jess’ way better half) answer listener questions and share their own stories of marriage — the good, the bad and the chocolate-chip-walnut-cookie! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

The Princess of Porn, Tasha Reign, joins Jess this week to discuss sexual confidence and reflect on her experience as an adult actress. She shares her unique insights and both Jess and Tasha share their top tips for boosting your sexual self-esteem. Follow Tasha on... Twitter Instagram The podcast episode is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

How do you get over your partner’s sexual past? What is 'Ski-Poling’? How can you ensure that your family likes your new partner? And what should I do with my hands during ‘the sex’? Jess tackles these questions and more in this week’s podcast. Tune in! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess is joined by licensed psychotherapist Miyume McKinley who answers listener questions about sex and depression. Tune in for insights on how to talk to your partner, show support and prioritize self-care when dealing with depression. Follow Miyume on... Instagram Twitter Youtube Here’s a summary of the advice offered in this podcast: If you’re managing depression: Give yourself permission to take care of yourself first. Your sex life and your partner can wait. I suggest you address the depression first with your mental health professional and then work on the sex itself. But if sex is going to take a backseat and you have a partner, you need to communicate this to them so that they understand why perhaps you’re not in the mood for sex. It may seem obvious to you that it’s the depression that’s getting in the way, but it may not be obvious to them. So tell them — in no uncertain terms that you’re taking care of yourself and it’s not personal. It doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to them and it doesn’t mean that sex isn’t a priority or won’t be moving forward, but right now you’re working on something else. And this isn’t a one-time conversation; you do have to keep checking in so that sex or the absence thereof doesn’t become an elephant in the room. Cut sex into pieces. Figure out what you like about sex most or perhaps that requires the least effort and do that — maybe you just want a quick orgasm and not the whole production. That’s fine. Do that and if you have a partner let them know. Or maybe you don’t want sex, but you’re up for making out, that’s cool too. Just because you’re not having “the sex” that you’re used to having doesn’t mean you can’t have some form of sex and all of the related benefits. Be a little more selfish. I find that my clients tend to be givers. And though it may sound like a good thing, learning to be a taker is just as important as being a giver. As a taker, you learn to show appreciation. And as a taker, you learn to be more present and experience sex as opposed to just going through the motions as a performer. If there is one piece of sex advice I’d like to spread throughout 2018, it’s to be more selfish in bed. We’ve shifted from a culture of sexual gratification to a culture of sexual performance and it’s making sex less exciting and pleasurable in many cases. So, if you’re depressed and exhausted, sleep deprived, anxious, stressed or otherwise not in the mood, you can still ask your partner to help put you in the mood. You can ask them to service you. You can ask them to grab a toy or use their hands with lube or use their mouth and let them take care of you. You’re not a burden and you deserve a lover who helps to reinforce this reality. If your partner is dealing with depression: Tell them when you’re available for support and tell them when you’re not. If you’re going to be busy, away or distracted, let your partner know so that if you’re not available they won’t take it personally and feel rejected and uncared for. A simple, I love you and I want to support you, but I’m studying for a big exam this week so I won’t be around as much Don’t give advice. Ask them what they need. And don’t wait until they’re at their lowest point to ask. It can be more helpful to chat on a good day about what they might need when they’re at a lower point. So wait for that good day and initiate the conversation. It can be hard to tell someone else what you need when you’re feeling down, unworthy, helpless and hopeless, so look for the moments when they’re not feeling like this to ask them for specific strategies you can employ when they do feel down. Express your support in multiple ways — with words, actions, physical affection. It’s helpful to know their love language but if you can be trilingual it’s even better. When it comes to sex, offer reassurance. Sasha asks about her boyfriend and I think it would help to express your attraction and desire and als...

Jess is joined by the brilliant and funny amateur porn star, Harper The Fox. Harper is a digital entrepreneur whose unedited sex tapes feature her having real, loving sex with her partner of 7 years. In this week’s episode, she shares her unique insights into the worlds of camming, porn and poetry — and she explains how to use toilet paper rolls as sex dolls. You don’t want to miss it! Check out Harper's book here. Follow Harper on Twitter here. This podcast episode is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

What does it mean if I think about someone else during sex? Is fantasizing about a celebrity during sex a form of cheating? Who's more likely to fantasize about someone other than their partner - women or men? Jess tackles these questions and more in this week’s podcast. **This transcript is our best automated version of the live podcast.** Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. This is Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist, and today I am in Phoenix for a cool event Body, Sex & Business and my next stops are in New York and Dallas, so perhaps I’ll see you in your city over the next few days. This episode is brought to you by Desire Resorts and Cruises. Set sail on a clothing optional experience from Barcelona to Rome with me at the end of April. There are only a handful of cabins left, so get ‘em while the getting’s good. Today I’ll be answering more listener questions about sex and relationships and we’re receiving a boatload every day. I’m having trouble keeping up, so I’m trying to categorize the questions thematically so that I can answer related questions all at once. In the past few weeks, I’ve received a bunch of similar questions with regard to fantasizing during sex and they all have so much in common which tells me that this is a serious concern for many of you. These questions tie in with the topic of my TED talk, Monogamish. If you’re not familiar with my TED Talk from TEDx Vancouver, Monogamish, I’ll tell you a bit about it now: It’s the single piece of media that elicits the most hate mail and I hope it remains so — meaning that I don’t want to produce something else that gets people just as angry at me. The haters call me everything from a dumb porn star to a pedophile. I read the comments on it once totally by accident and I started crying, so I’ve never been back. But you’re probably more concerned with the content than with my personal experience, so to sum it up, in this TED talk, I argue that the state of the modern relationship seems to be in crisis when we examine divorce rates, marital satisfaction rates, and infidelity rates. I argue that so-called pure monogamy, the notion of only having eyes for one soulmate forever and ever is unrealistic for most people if you want excitement and a hot sex life. Open relationships work with similar outcomes to monogamous ones, but they’re not for everyone and so I present an alternative option (not a solution), but an option, I call monogamish. This is the middle ground between monogamy and consensual non-monogamy and it involves looking at other people, thinking about other people, maybe even interacting in a flirtatious way with other people and sharing all of this with your partner to heighten the connection, growth, and passion in the relationship. If you want more, go watch the talk…so I can get on to the questions. We’ll start with two questions from the same listener. She says I can use her name…Tonya is 29 and she asks… 1. If you are having sex with your boyfriend and your mind wanders and you picture someone else what does that mean? It means you’re perfectly normal and you’re excited by novelty, challenge and/or the unknown. Just like we dream about a range of partners, scenarios and lifestyles, so too do our fantasies reflect this desire for variety. 2. Tonya also asks “So is it worse to visualize someone else’s face or to just think of them? If I literally think about another person’s body or face, I feel like it’s somehow worse. I don’t believe that one is worse than the other. I think it’s healthy to fantasize about people other than your partner. I know it can seem scary (especially if you reverse the roles), but couples whose relationships have stood the test of time (especially those who still have hot sex lives!) will attest to the fact that a willingness to push comfort zones is essential to a lasting sexual relationship. Having said that,

Jess answers your questions about gender roles and rules in the Swinging Lifestyle. She also shares a bit about her own personal experience and unpacks data about consensual non-monogamy. Whether you're an experienced Swinger, curious about the lifestyle or just wondering what you can learn from consensually non-monogamous relationships, have a listen as Jess differentiates between cheating and CNM relationships. This podcast episode is brought to you by Desire Resorts.